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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So I'm fighting the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:10Alright, it's about that time.
00:00:12So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:21Yeah, him.
00:00:23Hi!
00:00:25Just play him on.
00:00:25Six, five, four, three, two, one.
00:00:32Happy New Year!
00:00:55You have a cute scar.
00:00:57It's just my birthmark.
00:01:00If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:04I don't want you to stop.
00:01:05I don't want you to stop.
00:01:11I don't want you to stop.
00:01:13I don't want you to stop.
00:01:15I don't want you to stop.
00:01:17I don't want you to stop.
00:01:19I don't want you to stop.
00:01:21I don't want you to stop.
00:01:23I don't want you to stop.
00:01:25I don't want you to stop.
00:01:27Ah, I was so drunk last night.
00:01:39I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:44I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:52Happy New Year.
00:01:53Sam, it's me.
00:01:55Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:57I don't care how.
00:01:58Just do it.
00:02:00I will find you.
00:02:05Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:09Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:12I need grandkids.
00:02:14I need you to...
00:02:14Message received, Mom.
00:02:16I need to go now.
00:02:17I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:27Seven years.
00:02:29Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:31And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:32Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:42Boss, it's been years.
00:02:47I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:49Your vest, sir.
00:02:51But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:53She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:55Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:57And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:59We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:03Good.
00:03:04Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:09Hi.
00:03:10One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:12And one hot chocolate.
00:03:14I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:18Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:23Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:25It's just for Christmas.
00:03:26But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:29Where's my real one?
00:03:30Uh, I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:39Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:49Danny!
00:03:50Oh, what?
00:03:58Danny!
00:03:58Oh, I'm sorry.
00:04:00I'm not your dad.
00:04:03No, I know you're my dad.
00:04:04He does as handsome as I thought.
00:04:06Oh.
00:04:07Mommy, hurry!
00:04:08Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:18I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:21He's gorgeous.
00:04:22Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:29Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:31She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:33Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:34You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:37So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:40See, I knew you were the new daddy we hired, right?
00:04:42Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:43What's your name?
00:04:44Oh, Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:47Max, Aurelius.
00:04:49Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:55I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:58I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:04:59So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:07$1,000 an hour?
00:05:08Well, yeah.
00:05:10It's $500 a day.
00:05:12Is that enough?
00:05:14That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:15Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:17That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:19You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:21Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:23Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:26and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:28And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:31so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:35So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:38Fine.
00:05:39But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:44Okay.
00:05:45Deal.
00:05:48Ready to go get married?
00:05:58Wow.
00:06:03Cleaned up nice.
00:06:05It was my wedding day, after all.
00:06:07Pictures.
00:06:07Pictures.
00:06:11Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:19I think we got it.
00:06:43Oh, I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:47To prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:49and have a happy family.
00:06:51Yeah.
00:06:52Of course.
00:06:52Of course.
00:07:02Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:04From my family to you.
00:07:05Bad news, boss.
00:07:15The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:17to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:20Wait, she bailed?
00:07:21Then who is...
00:07:22Who is she?
00:07:27Whatever.
00:07:28It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:31Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:35I already found someone.
00:07:41Okay.
00:07:41Well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:46Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:51in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:52I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It'll make it more believable.
00:08:00Fine.
00:08:01Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:15No, let's go to the bank.
00:08:21What the actual fuck?
00:08:23Sam, is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:29of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Get me a DNA test for that little girl
00:08:34that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:40So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:45we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Here, let me get this.
00:08:51I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:52Oh, so I was, uh, thinking that since we're married,
00:09:00we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:03in front of them.
00:09:05Okay.
00:09:06Should we use our tongues or...?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:10And absolutely no...
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:13Strictly business.
00:09:17Anything physical outside of that
00:09:18does not have any.
00:09:20What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:24I just don't want Piper
00:09:25to have messy complications
00:09:27getting in the way
00:09:27of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:30Let's go.
00:09:37Here.
00:09:38What are you doing?
00:09:39I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:43Well, I'm not your woman
00:09:44and this isn't a real relationship
00:09:46and I don't want your money.
00:09:49Attention shoppers,
00:09:50all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies?
00:09:54Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies.
00:09:57Did I hear this right?
00:09:58They're the best kind.
00:09:59Hurry up and go.
00:10:00Go.
00:10:00What are you standing here for?
00:10:03Hello there.
00:10:04Hi.
00:10:05You ready?
00:10:05Yes, yeah.
00:10:06Just these things.
00:10:07Okay, great.
00:10:08We have a holiday special today.
00:10:10Spend $500, get 10% off
00:10:12and you are just short.
00:10:1415 bucks if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:16Oh, great.
00:10:17Yeah.
00:10:17What do you have that's just 15 bucks?
00:10:19Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:22I just got here.
00:10:23Relax.
00:10:24Yeah, yeah.
00:10:28Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:29Okay, thank you.
00:10:32Hurry up and pay.
00:10:33Okay.
00:10:33Okay.
00:10:36I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:38You can wait your turn.
00:10:44Damn.
00:10:45My fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:52Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:53Not the pies.
00:10:53Not the pies.
00:10:54You can just set those on top.
00:11:00Hi, guys.
00:11:02I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:08Of course.
00:11:10Thank you so much.
00:11:11Of course.
00:11:11I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:14She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:15Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:17Just to give it away.
00:11:18Yeah.
00:11:20Merry Christmas.
00:11:21Merry Christmas.
00:11:27What?
00:11:27You do that often?
00:11:28As often as I can.
00:11:35We should go.
00:11:36We got to pick up paper.
00:11:40Watch out.
00:11:41Watch out.
00:11:41Watch out.
00:11:41Watch out.
00:11:58You done feeling me up?
00:12:03Shut up.
00:12:03Oh, sorry.
00:12:04I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:06Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:13And don't be late.
00:12:14Harrison Group?
00:12:27Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:30Sort of.
00:12:31Not that I'm judging.
00:12:33I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:38Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:41I think that's respectable.
00:12:42Can we pick another company?
00:12:45No.
00:12:46Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:48And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:49My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:51So, it's perfect.
00:12:57Oh, and wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:13:00Don't worry.
00:13:01Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:03I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:06Too much.
00:13:12Let's go, Sam.
00:13:29It's time to check out the new HQ site.
00:13:31Don, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:35It's my daughter's.
00:13:38Daughter's.
00:13:40Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:43Hey, there they are.
00:13:59Hey, ladies.
00:14:00Nice to meet you.
00:14:01Oh, Dad.
00:14:03So glad you made it.
00:14:04Oh, we missed you.
00:14:06So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:10He's coming.
00:14:12Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:13Good, good, good.
00:14:16So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:19When's he arriving?
00:14:21Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:26Poor thing.
00:14:26Not surprising.
00:14:28I mean, she's 30.
00:14:29Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:32No, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:38This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:42Auntie Pamela, Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:47We're only worried about you.
00:14:49All these years without a husband.
00:14:52Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:53You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:57And look what happened.
00:14:58She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:02I'm not alone.
00:15:03Mm-hmm.
00:15:04And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:10He's a manager.
00:15:11Manager of what?
00:15:14Trash.
00:15:16Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:20You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:23Actually, he's right here.
00:15:29Oh, wow.
00:15:31Wow.
00:15:32He is really good looking.
00:15:35Ah, must be AI.
00:15:37Mm-hmm.
00:15:37Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:41Fake.
00:15:41That's enough.
00:15:42She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:44Show some respect.
00:15:45Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned him down?
00:15:53Well, guess what?
00:15:54William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:57Makes 500 grand a year.
00:16:00That's half a million.
00:16:02Half a million.
00:16:03Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:07And speak of the devil.
00:16:12Willie, you've made it.
00:16:24There you are.
00:16:26Oh, look at you now.
00:16:28Living the dream.
00:16:30Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:32Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:38So married, huh?
00:16:40Is it serious?
00:16:41That's what marriage is.
00:16:43It's pretty serious.
00:16:44Well, you must have rushed the time they're not, huh?
00:16:49Makes sense, though.
00:16:50You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:53Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:56A bullet dodged, Willie.
00:16:59Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:02That's right.
00:17:04Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:08Women love a man in red.
00:17:10Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:12When I sit on my lap.
00:17:15Don't touch me.
00:17:16Oh, so entitled.
00:17:18Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:22And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:26I mean, look at that car.
00:17:29Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:32Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:35Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:39I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:47My mom would never marry.
00:17:49She already has us, and he's gonna kick your butt.
00:17:51Is that so?
00:17:57Well, then, where is he?
00:17:59Because I don't see him.
00:18:01Does anyone see him?
00:18:04No.
00:18:05Just like I thought.
00:18:07Telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:10That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:12And let me show you what happens in naughty children.
00:18:18Hey.
00:18:19Mommy.
00:18:20It's fine.
00:18:20Are you okay?
00:18:21I see your hands.
00:18:23Oh, my God.
00:18:24I'm gonna take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:26Come on, honey.
00:18:27Let's go.
00:18:29What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:31How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:35Let me go.
00:18:37Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:42Let me go.
00:18:43Let me go.
00:18:43Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:04Max, you came.
00:19:06Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:09Where's Piper?
00:19:11William Hitter.
00:19:13Mom, Dad, I'll take her inside.
00:19:15Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:17Well, well, well.
00:19:19If it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:23That's right.
00:19:25Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:28Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:31It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:32I'm Max.
00:19:33Eva told us all about you.
00:19:35From New York.
00:19:36Polite.
00:19:37Handsome.
00:19:38Just like she said.
00:19:40Wow.
00:19:41He was an AI.
00:19:43See?
00:19:43He's real.
00:19:45And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:48Son of a bitch.
00:19:49You just ruined my suit.
00:19:51And watch the way that you drive that...
00:19:52That pristine automobile.
00:19:55That car?
00:19:57Oh, my God.
00:19:58That's worth more than a house.
00:20:00That car?
00:20:01It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:06Wait.
00:20:07Are you?
00:20:12Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:15And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:17I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:20You really are, Grimmon, aren't you?
00:20:21You stole it.
00:20:23That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:25Jesus.
00:20:26How did he get away with it?
00:20:27That's what I want to know.
00:20:29Enough, please.
00:20:32I trust my daughter.
00:20:35She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:38Max, be honest with me.
00:20:40Where did that car come from?
00:20:42How much did you want for it?
00:20:44I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:47So, you need a breath, man.
00:20:53All right, that's it.
00:20:54I'm calling the cops.
00:20:55Oh, way ahead of you.
00:20:57Wait.
00:20:58What?
00:20:59Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:02Oh, well.
00:21:04Too late.
00:21:09Mr. Harrison?
00:21:11Just play along.
00:21:14Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:21:15Now get the fuck out of here
00:21:17before I kick your ass
00:21:18all the way up to the North Pole.
00:21:19Yes, sir.
00:21:20I'm so sorry, sir.
00:21:23Please, do some of my serious apologies.
00:21:24Oh, jeez.
00:21:34Oh, that William.
00:21:37What a jerk, huh?
00:21:39He fooled me.
00:21:40What can I say?
00:21:41Let's not let this little misunderstanding
00:21:43ruin the holidays.
00:21:45Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:21:47Oh, come on, Eva.
00:21:48We were just looking out for you.
00:21:50Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:21:53You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:21:55Soon.
00:21:56Do you think that, uh,
00:21:57you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:21:59A job at the Harrison Group,
00:22:01even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:22:04We are family, aren't we?
00:22:06Family takes care of each other.
00:22:08If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group,
00:22:11you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:22:13Abigail, come on.
00:22:15Talk to her for us.
00:22:17Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:22:20Yeah.
00:22:21I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:22:23My daughter is just far too busy.
00:22:26I mean, her best life is my new son-in-law.
00:22:29Come on, guys.
00:22:30Let's go in.
00:22:31Welcome to the family.
00:22:32Welcome.
00:22:32This is your fault, Pam.
00:22:42You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:22:46My fault?
00:22:47You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:00Hey, how do you have that car?
00:23:02And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:23:04And how do you...
00:23:05I told you.
00:23:06I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:23:08I have a friend in high places.
00:23:10A friend who just hands you keys
00:23:12to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:23:15Yes.
00:23:16It's the season of giving.
00:23:18He knows people.
00:23:19Has connections.
00:23:21He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:23:23You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:23:24Yeah, and you best not forget it.
00:23:26Capisce?
00:23:27Oh, my God.
00:23:27Just don't blow your cover.
00:23:31Dad!
00:23:31Mom!
00:23:32Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:23:35Oh, honey.
00:23:36We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:23:42I think they get it, hon.
00:23:47How's Piper?
00:23:48Oh, she's fine.
00:23:49One of you guys just gets settled in, and we will go check on her.
00:23:53And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:23:58Great.
00:23:58Hey, see you in a bit.
00:24:00Joey?
00:24:00What are you doing?
00:24:03Okay.
00:24:05Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:24:11Relax.
00:24:12It was just a hug.
00:24:12We just got here, and I'm already exhausted.
00:24:19You'll be okay.
00:24:20It's just one week.
00:24:21Kill me now.
00:24:22Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:24:24What are you doing?
00:24:30What are you doing?
00:24:31That's weird.
00:24:33They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:24:35I don't know.
00:24:36Something just falls off.
00:24:37Come on.
00:24:38That's ridiculous.
00:24:40I mean, what do you want to go down?
00:24:42Make out a promise to prove it?
00:24:44Let's...
00:24:45Later.
00:24:46Let's go.
00:24:53Here we go.
00:24:56Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:24:58Everything looks amazing, and happy holidays.
00:25:01To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:25:04Oh.
00:25:05Welcome.
00:25:06Cheers.
00:25:07Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:25:08Looks great.
00:25:09Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:25:11I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:25:16But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:25:20Ooh.
00:25:21Oh, no.
00:25:21Mom's testing him.
00:25:22She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:25:24You mean to tell me you two are married, and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:25:31Ow.
00:25:32Eva, sweetie.
00:25:34Kicking my foot.
00:25:35Oh, sorry, mom.
00:25:37Oh, jeez.
00:25:39It's okay.
00:25:40I...
00:25:41Look, mom, of course he knows it's...
00:25:42I would like to hear Max say it.
00:25:50Um...
00:25:51Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:25:59Did I hear this right?
00:25:59They're the best kind.
00:26:02Well, of course.
00:26:03It's...
00:26:03It's...
00:26:04It's pumpkin pie.
00:26:05See?
00:26:06Are you happy now?
00:26:08That's good, but something still feels off.
00:26:11Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:26:14We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:26:19But our marriage is real.
00:26:20I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:26:25Ah, now those are quality.
00:26:29Okay, well, then answer this.
00:26:32Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:26:35Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:26:37I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:26:42Well, um, it's...
00:26:44Silly face.
00:26:45Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:26:48Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:26:51Silly face.
00:26:52And I am not paying extra for this.
00:26:55Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:26:57That's beautiful.
00:26:58That's Lazarus.
00:26:59That's nice.
00:27:01You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:27:04Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:27:07And I'm not just talking about William.
00:27:09I'll drink to that.
00:27:11I agree with you there.
00:27:13So, come on, guys.
00:27:14Let's eat.
00:27:15Come on.
00:27:15And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:27:31I have another room set up for Piper.
00:27:33Nice and festive for you.
00:27:36No complications, right?
00:27:38Sorry, honey.
00:27:39Uh, mom, you know what?
00:27:40I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:27:42Oh, honey, newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:27:45Oh, I just remembered.
00:27:48The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:27:50Something about water conservation.
00:27:52That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:27:5415 minutes?
00:27:57Honey, it's no big deal.
00:27:58Just shower together.
00:28:00Shower together?
00:28:04Just shower together.
00:28:06Okay, you guys, have a good night, okay?
00:28:12You heard her.
00:28:15Oh, wow.
00:28:36Why are you stripping?
00:28:38Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:28:41Come on, we're wasting time.
00:28:42You have 15 minutes.
00:28:42Nice try.
00:28:44I am not showering with you.
00:28:46All right, sleep yourself.
00:28:47All room for getting in there.
00:28:49Not if I meet you there first.
00:28:50Come on, Max.
00:29:08Get out of the way.
00:29:10We agreed, nothing physical.
00:29:12You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:29:14Relax.
00:29:14I won't touch you, unless you say you want me to.
00:29:21But that'll cost extra.
00:29:24In your dreams.
00:29:34Free to join me.
00:29:35You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower water left.
00:29:58You wish.
00:29:59Why aren't you getting in?
00:30:01Pray you'll fall for me.
00:30:03It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:30:06Oh, yeah?
00:30:07True.
00:30:20Holy shit.
00:30:21Um, this is, um, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:30:29I'll say.
00:30:30What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:30:33Still think you can resist?
00:30:36Oh, baby.
00:30:37I don't think I want you.
00:30:44Max, I shouldn't.
00:30:45Or maybe we should.
00:30:50God, he's such a good kisser.
00:30:53Why does this feel so familiar?
00:31:01Mom, we're so sexy.
00:31:12Max, we cannot do this.
00:31:13What?
00:31:15I didn't mean to cross any...
00:31:17It's not you, Max.
00:31:18It's us.
00:31:19It's this.
00:31:19This is all an act.
00:31:20Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:31:24You're right.
00:31:26I'm sorry.
00:31:27I just don't mean to be sorry.
00:31:29Just...
00:31:37That birthmark.
00:31:43What is that?
00:31:46It's him.
00:31:47The man from New Year's.
00:31:48Is he...
00:31:49Piper's father?
00:31:53Why are you acting?
00:31:57Oh, my God.
00:31:58Max is Piper's father.
00:32:01Are you okay?
00:32:02Yeah.
00:32:03I just, um...
00:32:05I just got lightheaded.
00:32:06I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:32:08Alone.
00:32:09Of course.
00:32:14We have a daughter together.
00:32:16Oh, my God.
00:32:18What do I do?
00:32:19I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:32:26You can take the bed.
00:32:29Thanks.
00:32:31Hey.
00:32:33Are you sure you're okay?
00:32:35Look, fake marriage aside,
00:32:36I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:32:38So if there's something you need,
00:32:40I can help.
00:32:42I want to help.
00:32:43He's Piper's father.
00:32:45He has a right to know.
00:32:47Um, Max?
00:32:50How would you feel
00:32:52if you found out you had a kid?
00:32:57A child?
00:32:59No, no, no.
00:33:00That's...
00:33:00That's impossible.
00:33:01I'm very careful.
00:33:04Mostly.
00:33:05I just mean I'm not the type of guy
00:33:08to sleep around.
00:33:09Family, to me, is a big commitment,
00:33:11and I don't want any loose ends.
00:33:14You know?
00:33:15Right.
00:33:17He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:33:19I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:33:22Why do you ask?
00:33:24No reason.
00:33:25Just...
00:33:25Just curious.
00:33:27No, I feel like you're
00:33:28going somewhere with this.
00:33:30What?
00:33:32No.
00:33:33Well, then,
00:33:34can I ask you a question?
00:33:36Shoot.
00:33:42Where did you get these?
00:33:44And how did you know
00:33:45my exact size?
00:33:46I did not get those.
00:33:48I don't know where those came from.
00:33:50Are you sure you're just
00:33:51not trying to
00:33:52break the contract?
00:33:55No.
00:33:56Come on, me.
00:33:56Come on, me.
00:33:57Come on, me.
00:33:58Woo!
00:34:03Eva, the truth is
00:34:12is that I...
00:34:14Go, go, go, go, go.
00:34:18Just a second.
00:34:19Come in!
00:34:20Hey, hon.
00:34:23Oh!
00:34:24Sorry for interrupting,
00:34:26but Piper is asking
00:34:27for a bedtime story
00:34:29before I tuck around.
00:34:30You think you could
00:34:30take this one, Dad?
00:34:31We're kind of in the middle
00:34:32of something.
00:34:33I can see that.
00:34:35Well, why don't I
00:34:36read it to her?
00:34:37I mean, if you don't...
00:34:38if you don't mind.
00:34:40Well, atta boy.
00:34:41You know what?
00:34:42Just put a shirt on.
00:34:43I'm gonna go get her.
00:34:44Piper!
00:34:45Here comes Grandpa!
00:34:49He sprang to his sleigh,
00:34:51to his team gave a whistle,
00:34:53and away they all flew,
00:34:55like the down of a thistle.
00:34:56But I heard him exclaim
00:34:58as he drove out of sight,
00:35:00Merry Christmas to all,
00:35:02and to all,
00:35:04a good night.
00:35:07If Piper knew he was
00:35:09her real dad,
00:35:09she'd be over the moon.
00:35:12Good night, Piper.
00:35:15Is her dad still around?
00:35:19Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:35:21because you're her dad.
00:35:23Uh, no.
00:35:24That man has no idea
00:35:26what a treasure
00:35:27he's missing out on.
00:35:32Do you really think so?
00:35:34From the bottom of my heart.
00:35:37Maybe I should tell him.
00:35:39He deserves to know.
00:35:39No.
00:35:45Max.
00:35:50You're Piper's father.
00:35:59I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:36:00Where's Piper?
00:36:27She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:36:30God, he's such a good kisser.
00:36:55Just gonna kiss and run?
00:36:58Not on my watch.
00:37:00Yeah, this.
00:37:05I remember this.
00:37:17Good morning, you two lovebugs.
00:37:20How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:37:23Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:37:24It was great.
00:37:26Wonderful.
00:37:26Well, it's about to get even better.
00:37:31Oh, no.
00:37:32What is that?
00:37:33Sardines and saltines.
00:37:35It's a Smith family classic.
00:37:37It was my gram-gram's favorite during wartime.
00:37:40Don't be shy.
00:37:40Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:37:43Max, you don't have to.
00:37:45No, no.
00:37:45It's okay.
00:37:46It's a Smith family staple.
00:37:48Oh, there we go.
00:37:59Yeah.
00:37:59Yeah.
00:37:59Yeah.
00:38:07Good?
00:38:09Mm.
00:38:09Good?
00:38:10It's crunchy.
00:38:12Well, you two better get dressed.
00:38:15You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:38:18Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:38:21That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:38:25What's the deal with them?
00:38:26Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:38:29Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:38:32Hey, don't worry.
00:38:35I'll protect you and Piper.
00:38:39Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:38:43Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:38:57Wait, that earring.
00:38:59Wait, that earring.
00:39:02You like it?
00:39:03I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:39:06You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:39:08I am.
00:39:09I'm Eva's husband, Max.
00:39:11Pleasure to meet you.
00:39:12Welcome.
00:39:12You're Eva's husband.
00:39:14But you're gorgeous.
00:39:18But not as handsome as you.
00:39:21Look at you two.
00:39:22You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:39:24Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:39:26Merry Christmas.
00:39:27This is for Max and I.
00:39:29Oh, my goodness.
00:39:30Thank you, Eva.
00:39:30Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:39:33Oops.
00:39:34Oh, my bad.
00:39:35Oh, a homemade gift.
00:39:38How thrifty.
00:39:40Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:39:42Mommy's right.
00:39:43You mean all high?
00:39:44You little.
00:39:47You will not lay a hand on my daughter, or you will lose yours.
00:39:52Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:39:55Look what you just did to my mother.
00:39:57My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:40:00He could ruin your life.
00:40:02Mommy, are you okay?
00:40:16I'm fine.
00:40:16I'm just wet, honey.
00:40:18Yeah.
00:40:18It's okay.
00:40:19It's okay.
00:40:19It's okay.
00:40:19It's okay.
00:40:22What are you?
00:40:24Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:40:27Did you just slap me?
00:40:29Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:40:31You're a fucking psycho.
00:40:33You know what, Sierra?
00:40:33I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:40:39Her family.
00:40:41She needs me.
00:40:41You okay, honey?
00:40:47Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:40:50Do something.
00:40:51You don't know who you're messing with.
00:40:53I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:40:55Oh, wow.
00:40:56I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:41:02Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:41:05Let's call him.
00:41:06I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:41:09Please.
00:41:09Who do you think you are?
00:41:10Enough!
00:41:14There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:41:17Fine, Dad.
00:41:19Let it go, Nathan.
00:41:20They're just jealous.
00:41:23For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:41:26I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:41:30I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:41:33Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:41:35All right, that's enough.
00:41:36Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:41:40Is this a joke?
00:42:00Can you please pass me some food?
00:42:03Hold it.
00:42:04Who said you could eat anything else?
00:42:06My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:42:09King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:42:21Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:42:24And you don't get a single bite.
00:42:26It's just petty.
00:42:27It's just petty.
00:42:28Maybe so, but gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:42:33Fine.
00:42:34Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:42:37Come on, let's go.
00:42:38No, no.
00:42:39Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:42:42Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:42:45I know, dear.
00:42:46I just want to have our family together.
00:42:48Fine.
00:42:49We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:42:52Better a stray than a bitch.
00:42:54What was that?
00:42:58I just want to have our family together.
00:43:01Fine.
00:43:02We'll stay.
00:43:04Can I have a little nibble?
00:43:06It's okay, sweetie.
00:43:07We'll get something right after.
00:43:09Like drive-thru?
00:43:11I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:43:13That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:43:18No strays.
00:43:19Ow.
00:43:20Sweetie, are you okay?
00:43:22Yeah, it's fine.
00:43:23You hit my child.
00:43:25You're fucking crazy.
00:43:26Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:43:33Don't worry, baby.
00:43:34I'll handle it.
00:43:38Don't worry, baby.
00:43:39I'll handle it.
00:43:43Piper.
00:43:45Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:43:48Okay, sweetheart.
00:43:52Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:43:54As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:43:57Actually, I do.
00:44:00He's such a liar.
00:44:01This ought to be hilarious.
00:44:03Oh, it will be.
00:44:06Sam.
00:44:08Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:44:11I'm already on my way.
00:44:17Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:44:19I'm already on my way.
00:44:22You hear this guy?
00:44:24He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:44:26From Antarctica.
00:44:28Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:44:31His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:44:34Max, what are you doing?
00:44:36Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:44:37Santa's already on his way.
00:44:39Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:44:48A helicopter?
00:44:56There's no way.
00:45:03How did you pull this off?
00:45:05Sam is like family.
00:45:05I thought I'd introduce you, too.
00:45:07Thanks, boss.
00:45:09Boss?
00:45:10Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:45:13Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:45:15Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:45:19I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:45:22You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:45:25Mm-hmm.
00:45:28Come on.
00:45:31You can stop kidding around.
00:45:32If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:45:37No, I actually am the CEO.
00:45:39Come on.
00:45:39You can stop the charade.
00:45:41Okay?
00:45:41This is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:45:43Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:45:47Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:45:50How is this possible?
00:46:01This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:46:08Who are you?
00:46:10I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:46:13That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:46:15Wait, no.
00:46:16Hold on.
00:46:18You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:46:23You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:46:25Hmm.
00:46:26Some of the small ones.
00:46:28I mean, you know that.
00:46:30You work for me.
00:46:31Oh, God.
00:46:32I insulted my own boss.
00:46:35I'm finished.
00:46:35I'm finished.
00:46:40I didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:46:47Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:46:49Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:46:51For tonight, your feast ends.
00:46:54And with that, your career.
00:46:57You're fired.
00:46:58Fired?
00:46:59Sam.
00:47:03You're fired?
00:47:04Oh, God.
00:47:05I can't be fired.
00:47:08What?
00:47:08Mr. Harrison, please.
00:47:10You can have as much crab as you want.
00:47:13Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:47:14I'll do anything.
00:47:15Guys, take out the trash.
00:47:20And you.
00:47:24Oh, me?
00:47:26Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:47:28That was a Christmas joke.
00:47:29A family tradition.
00:47:31Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:47:34Sam.
00:47:34Sam.
00:47:36Hmm.
00:47:38Will you do me the honors?
00:47:41Gladly.
00:47:45Merry Christmas, Aunt Marianne.
00:47:50Father, do something.
00:47:52Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:47:54I'm leaving.
00:47:56Mmm.
00:47:57Pumpkin's my favorite.
00:47:58Come on, sweetie.
00:48:05Daddy had this crab one in just for you.
00:48:08Eat as much as you want.
00:48:09Thanks, Daddy.
00:48:13I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:48:15I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:48:18Honestly?
00:48:19This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:48:22Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:48:24Just like this.
00:48:24Does he really mean that?
00:48:27Or is he just playing the part?
00:48:29I can't tell.
00:48:31And that terrifies me.
00:48:37Merry Christmas, Miss Harrison.
00:48:38I brought you a gift.
00:48:39Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:48:42Oh.
00:48:43Oh, this is wonderful.
00:48:50Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:48:53Tell me everything.
00:48:55Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works
00:49:00in retail.
00:49:01Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:49:04A high school dropout?
00:49:06In the Harrison family?
00:49:09Not a chance.
00:49:10She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:49:17Maximus seems to like her.
00:49:18Silence.
00:49:19Get me the address where she works.
00:49:21It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:49:23That's nice.
00:49:24We own that one.
00:49:26Good work.
00:49:27But take off that stupid hat.
00:49:39Thanks.
00:49:39So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:49:46Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:49:48And how about you?
00:49:53Me?
00:49:54Yeah.
00:49:56Are you happy with your new husband?
00:50:01Eva.
00:50:02Eva.
00:50:02Eva.
00:50:02Eva.
00:50:02Eva.
00:50:09That birthmark.
00:50:14That birthmark.
00:50:14Family to me is a big commitment and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:50:21Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:50:23So much we're not telling each other.
00:50:24Uh, no feelings, no complications.
00:50:28That's what we agreed upon.
00:50:29Hey, I didn't sign a contract.
00:50:32Max.
00:50:33Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:50:36Well, it's cold.
00:50:38Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:50:41Max.
00:50:42I need to tell you something.
00:50:47It's something important.
00:50:49What's gotten into her?
00:50:51Is she hiding something?
00:50:53Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:50:55I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:51:01Piper is...
00:51:03Piper is...
00:51:05Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:51:08Oh, sweetie.
00:51:09Oh, my gosh.
00:51:10It's all swollen.
00:51:11Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:51:14Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:51:15Mommy's gonna go get a first date kit, okay?
00:51:19Come on, Piper.
00:51:23Okay, let me see.
00:51:25I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:51:32But that's not true.
00:51:33You were leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:51:37Uh...
00:51:37Daddy!
00:51:38No!
00:51:40Well...
00:51:40Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:51:51Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:51:55Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:51:57Really?
00:51:57Please stay, Daddy.
00:51:58You think it was Scar?
00:52:05Hmm.
00:52:08I wouldn't worry about it.
00:52:10Scars make you look like a badass.
00:52:11I have one, too.
00:52:13Dad.
00:52:15I got that when I was about your age.
00:52:17Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:52:20Really?
00:52:21No way.
00:52:22No, it was actually a cactus.
00:52:24But it's still cool.
00:52:27I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:52:33Piper, how long have you had that?
00:52:35My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:52:37And how old are you?
00:52:44Six.
00:52:46Six?
00:52:46That one-night stand was about seven years ago.
00:52:49Okay, I found the first-aid kid.
00:52:51Ivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:52:54And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:52:56Sorry, honey.
00:52:57This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:53:00Ivor, are you sure you want me to come home?
00:53:01Um, yeah.
00:53:05Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:53:07Eva.
00:53:12Okay, look.
00:53:16Piper is...
00:53:22Go on.
00:53:22It must be an emergency.
00:53:31Excuse me.
00:53:33Sorry.
00:53:33I'll take this.
00:53:40Mommy, are you okay?
00:53:42Yeah.
00:53:44Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:53:47I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:53:49Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:53:55I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:53:58She's a high school dropout.
00:54:00Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:54:02And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:54:05I'm Eva's husband.
00:54:06Max.
00:54:07That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:54:15I'm sorry, Max.
00:54:17You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:54:18Your mother would take her away.
00:54:20After Christmas, it's over.
00:54:24Eva?
00:54:26Maximus?
00:54:27Are you even listening to me?
00:54:29No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:54:30I'm sorry, okay?
00:54:31Eva's my wife.
00:54:32And I've made up my mind.
00:54:34I'm not leaving her.
00:54:36Eva?
00:54:44Oh, wow.
00:54:55That's so cool.
00:54:57Did you make it?
00:54:58Uh, Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:55:02Oh, thank you so much.
00:55:04Thanks, guys.
00:55:05I'm glad you're here.
00:55:06Oh, wow.
00:55:10Damn, these are nice.
00:55:12Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:55:20Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:55:22It's in the other room by the train set.
00:55:24I'll go with you.
00:55:25Remember the song that we sang?
00:55:26Ready?
00:55:27Ready?
00:55:27Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:55:30What have we got, guys?
00:55:30Really?
00:55:31Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:55:37You never told me.
00:55:41Have we met before?
00:55:46Have we met before?
00:55:49She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:55:54I don't know what you're getting at.
00:55:57Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:56:01I don't know what you're talking about.
00:56:10Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:56:11They're very common.
00:56:12I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:56:15No matter how I feel about him.
00:56:19Maybe.
00:56:22Are you okay?
00:56:26Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:56:27I know.
00:56:30I'm fine.
00:56:34Oh, I almost forgot.
00:56:37I got you this.
00:56:39You got me a gift, too?
00:56:41Tis the season.
00:56:42Open it.
00:56:43Gloves.
00:56:56Gloves.
00:56:58Did you make these?
00:57:00Yeah.
00:57:01I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:57:05You've already done so much for me.
00:57:06I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:57:10How do they feel?
00:57:12Warm, right?
00:57:14Yeah.
00:57:15Warm.
00:57:17Soft.
00:57:20Perfect.
00:57:21Thank you, Eva.
00:57:27I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:57:31Really?
00:57:33Yeah, my mom.
00:57:34She partied all the time.
00:57:35And I got gifts.
00:57:37Plenty of them, but...
00:57:39I don't think she ever bought one herself.
00:57:43Nothing personal.
00:57:45Well, you deserve it.
00:57:47Here.
00:57:49I got you this.
00:57:51You got me a gift, too?
00:57:53Tis the season.
00:57:54Open it.
00:57:55Open it.
00:58:08Gloves.
00:58:10Did you make these?
00:58:12Yeah.
00:58:13I know this is a fake marriage, but...
00:58:15That's Christmas.
00:58:17You've already done so much for me.
00:58:18I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:58:22How do they feel?
00:58:24Warm, right?
00:58:26Yeah.
00:58:27Warm.
00:58:29Soft.
00:58:32Perfect.
00:58:37Thank you, Eva.
00:58:37I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:58:43Really?
00:58:45Yeah, my mom.
00:58:46She partied all the time.
00:58:47And I got gifts.
00:58:49Plenty of them, but...
00:58:51I don't think she ever bought one herself.
00:58:55Nothing...
00:58:56Personal.
00:58:57Well, you deserve it.
00:58:59You're a good guy.
00:59:00And someday you'll find someone special
00:59:05to spend all your Christmases with.
00:59:09What if that day's today?
00:59:13What if I already found someone special?
00:59:18Right here.
00:59:18Max, we can't...
00:59:31Max, we can't...
00:59:43Max, we can't.
00:59:46If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
00:59:53Come on.
00:59:55I don't want you to stop.
01:00:02No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:12I don't want you.
01:00:29Oh, God, you are driving.
01:00:31Fucking insane.
01:00:35Parker!
01:00:42She can't see him.
01:00:49She can't see him.
01:01:06Eva?
01:01:07Eva?
01:01:11Grandma, I'm up here.
01:01:25That was way too close.
01:01:27Yeah.
01:01:28We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:01:31Maybe you still haven't given me mine.
01:01:32Let me give it to you.
01:01:38Let me give it to you.
01:01:38Let me give it to you.
01:01:40Let me give it to you.
01:01:40Let me give it to you.
01:01:41Let me give it to you.
01:01:42Let me give it to you.
01:01:43Let me give it to you.
01:01:44Let me give it to you.
01:01:45Let me give it to you.
01:01:46Let me give it to you.
01:01:47Let me give it to you.
01:01:48Let me give it to you.
01:01:49Let me give it to you.
01:01:50Let me give it to you.
01:01:51Let me give it to you.
01:01:52Let me give it to you.
01:01:53Let me give it to you.
01:01:54Let me give it to you.
01:01:55Let me give it to you.
01:01:56Let me give it to you.
01:01:57Let me give it to you.
01:01:58Let me give it to you.
01:01:59Let me give it to you.
01:02:00Let me give it to you.
01:02:01Let me give it to you.
01:02:02Why are you calling me this morning?
01:02:21Hello?
01:02:22Hello, Eva Smith.
01:02:24I'm Max's mother.
01:02:25Name your price.
01:02:26What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:02:29W-what?
01:02:30We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:02:34Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:02:38My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:02:42Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:02:46So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:02:53Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:03:00You okay?
01:03:04Look, we made it through Christmas, so I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:03:11What are you talking about?
01:03:13It's over.
01:03:14It's not that hard to understand.
01:03:20Eva, wait!
01:03:21So last night meant nothing to you?
01:03:31Well, Max, it's not real.
01:03:33None of it was real.
01:03:35So, it's just a goodbye?
01:03:39Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:03:41Look.
01:03:44Last night, I let my guard down.
01:03:48But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:03:51And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:03:53Just tell me what you need.
01:03:56I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:04:00Just say the word.
01:04:07You don't get it.
01:04:10You don't get it.
01:04:17I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:04:25I won't give up on us.
01:04:30Are we here?
01:04:43Yes.
01:04:45As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:04:51Piper.
01:04:52Sweetie, wake up.
01:04:53We're home.
01:04:54How can she just walk away?
01:05:07Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:05:09It's part of the agreement, too.
01:05:11Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:05:15You promised.
01:05:16Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:05:18Can you do this for me, please?
01:05:20All right, fine.
01:05:23When?
01:05:25Two days.
01:05:26I'll come pick you up.
01:05:28No need.
01:05:29Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.
01:05:31I know you and mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:05:41So don't give up, okay, daddy?
01:05:44Thank you, sweetie.
01:05:46If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:05:48I always fight for the ones I love.
01:06:01I'll be fine.
01:06:02I'll be fine.
01:06:03I'll be fine.
01:06:04I'll be fine.
01:06:05I'll be fine.
01:06:06I'll be fine.
01:06:07I'll be fine.
01:06:08I'll be fine.
01:06:09I'll be fine.
01:06:10I'll be fine.
01:06:11Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:06:12Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:06:15Boss?
01:06:17Boss?
01:06:21Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:06:24I need to go win back my family.
01:06:26Family?
01:06:27Boss, you okay?
01:06:28Never better.
01:06:32Go get her, Max.
01:06:37Give it your best smile and...
01:06:39Ah, there he is.
01:06:41Maximus, darling.
01:06:43I have some prospects for you.
01:06:45Nice high society girls from the city.
01:06:51Oh.
01:06:54I told you.
01:06:55I already found the woman I love.
01:06:58Well...
01:07:03Maximus, stop this.
01:07:05That Eva woman is scamming you, son.
01:07:08Tell me what kind of woman you want,
01:07:10and I'll find you another.
01:07:12You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:07:15No, I'm not.
01:07:18Oh?
01:07:19I work in waste management, and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:07:23I'm Eva's husband, and I'm a father.
01:07:28What?
01:07:29Oh, that's her.
01:07:30The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:07:35Hi.
01:07:36Welcome in.
01:07:37Can I help you find something?
01:07:38I wanted to try those.
01:07:39Awesome.
01:07:40I'll get them for you right away.
01:07:41Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:07:42No.
01:07:43No, no, no.
01:07:44I know what I want.
01:07:45Size 7.
01:07:46Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:07:47Come on.
01:07:48She wants the one.
01:07:49I know what I want.
01:07:51Size 7.
01:07:52I want to try those.
01:07:56Awesome, I'll get them for you right away.
01:07:59Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:08:05No, no, no.
01:08:07I know what I want.
01:08:08Size 7.
01:08:11Oh, baby, can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:08:15Come on, she wants the white shoes.
01:08:22Ignore her, she's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:08:26Here, let me help you.
01:08:27Come on.
01:08:31She seems kind.
01:08:38I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:08:41She's just doing her job.
01:08:44How do they feel?
01:08:45Well, I love the style, but it's too small.
01:08:49I think I need a size up.
01:08:50Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:08:56Right away.
01:08:57I'll be right back.
01:08:58She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:09:01Was I wrong about her?
01:09:17Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:09:20Well, who gives a shit?
01:09:23She can't walk.
01:09:27That's just pure evil.
01:09:32Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:09:35She's in a wheelchair.
01:09:37Who cares?
01:09:37It's the last pair.
01:09:39I get paid commission.
01:09:41I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:09:49See?
01:09:51This is your whole problem.
01:09:54This is why you'll always be broke.
01:09:56I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:10:00I'm not selling her junk.
01:10:03She has to deal with people like this?
01:10:06People who insult her all day?
01:10:08I'm your manager.
01:10:13Sell the old bitty the shoes, or you're fired.
01:10:23Did I stutter?
01:10:25You don't have to fire me.
01:10:32I quit.
01:10:33I don't work here anymore.
01:10:41Listen.
01:10:42Don't buy the shoes.
01:10:44They're broken.
01:10:45Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:10:47You're a good person, after all.
01:10:51Looks like I misjudged you.
01:10:53I'm sorry?
01:10:54Why are you still here, Eva?
01:10:58Get out.
01:11:05You're not disabled?
01:11:07Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:11:11Absolutely shameful.
01:11:13Who are you?
01:11:15I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group,
01:11:19and the owner of the store.
01:11:21You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:11:23You're the mother of the CEO?
01:11:25I am.
01:11:26And you, my dear, are fired.
01:11:30What did I do?
01:11:34You are a good person.
01:11:37From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:11:43Are you serious?
01:11:46That's right.
01:11:48Don't be nervous, child.
01:11:50You are professional, responsible,
01:11:53far better than that two-bit manager.
01:11:59You.
01:12:00Out.
01:12:02I'll leave.
01:12:05I'm leaving.
01:12:06I, I, I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:12:12No, don't worry.
01:12:15You're getting a promotion.
01:12:17You deserve it, my dear.
01:12:21First assignment?
01:12:23I want that row, and that row,
01:12:27and the entire display case.
01:12:29Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:12:32Once we're home,
01:12:37I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:12:40I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:12:49She's the mother of a CEO.
01:12:51Of course she lives like this.
01:12:52Mrs. Harrison?
01:13:04I'm here with your delivery.
01:13:08Max?
01:13:09Eva?
01:13:11What are you doing here?
01:13:14I, uh...
01:13:15There you are, Eva!
01:13:17Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:13:21My new daughter-in-law.
01:13:24What are you talking...
01:13:26That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:13:33Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:13:35Stop!
01:13:37And you?
01:13:38You lied to me at the store!
01:13:40You were both just testing me?
01:13:43Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:13:45I'm sorry, Eva.
01:13:46I thought you might be using my son
01:13:48just after his money.
01:13:50But I was wrong.
01:13:52Eva, please.
01:13:52I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:13:55Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:13:58How could you think that of me?
01:14:00It's not like that, dear.
01:14:02Eva, what are you talking about?
01:14:05Mom, what did you do?
01:14:07I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:14:09We're not together.
01:14:11And I can't love something that was never real.
01:14:14I made a horrible mistake.
01:14:21What are you waiting for, son?
01:14:22Go after her!
01:14:27Eva.
01:14:28Let me go!
01:14:29I swear, it's not what you think.
01:14:31Look, we come from two completely different worlds.
01:14:33Stop pretending like you care.
01:14:34I'm not pretending!
01:14:36Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:14:38In everything I've done for you,
01:14:39and Piper,
01:14:40this is real.
01:14:44Touch my wife again,
01:14:47and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:14:50Max, you came.
01:14:52God, you are driving me fucking insane.
01:14:56I'll do whatever it takes
01:14:58to be a good husband,
01:14:59a good father.
01:15:01Just say the word.
01:15:01See?
01:15:07Stop fighting.
01:15:10We belong together.
01:15:13You're wrong.
01:15:14Wrong about what?
01:15:16That you care?
01:15:18Or we belong together?
01:15:20Look, I already told you.
01:15:22We're from two completely different worlds.
01:15:23Now, I held up my end of the deal,
01:15:26and I met your mother,
01:15:26like we discussed.
01:15:28I want a fake divorce from my fake husband.
01:15:34Eva.
01:15:37Eva!
01:15:40I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:15:42Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:15:44Ow!
01:15:53Are you okay, Mommy?
01:15:55Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:15:58Come here.
01:16:06No, you're not fine.
01:16:08You're sad.
01:16:11I'm okay, sweetie.
01:16:12I miss Daddy, too.
01:16:19I want Max to be my real daddy.
01:16:24Don't you want to be with him?
01:16:27What a bug.
01:16:29You're right.
01:16:31What am I doing?
01:16:32Running like a coward?
01:16:35I always taught you to be brave.
01:16:38Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:16:40I believe in you.
01:16:42What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:16:45I know exactly what to say to him.
01:16:50Maximus deserves to know
01:16:51Piper is his daughter.
01:17:00Enough sulking.
01:17:01Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:17:05Don't you think I want to?
01:17:08She doesn't want me.
01:17:10I didn't raise you to give up.
01:17:11Your daughter is still out there.
01:17:13You can't abandon her.
01:17:15Mom, you don't get it.
01:17:16I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:17:19And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:17:23What are you talking about?
01:17:25I already ran a DNA test.
01:17:29Piper is your daughter.
01:17:31What?
01:17:32See for yourself.
01:17:39I was right.
01:17:40Seven years ago.
01:17:42New Year's.
01:17:43That woman was evil.
01:17:44Eva.
01:17:56Hey.
01:17:58Daddy.
01:18:01Daddy.
01:18:02Piper.
01:18:02Piper.
01:18:04I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:18:07You came back.
01:18:16I, uh...
01:18:18Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:18:27I, uh...
01:18:29I was scared.
01:18:31But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:18:34Because what we have is real
01:18:35and it's worth fighting for.
01:18:38Sweetheart, I have
01:18:39something to tell you.
01:18:41I have something to tell you, too.
01:18:46Piper is your daughter.
01:18:48You knew.
01:18:49My sweet granddaughter.
01:18:51Grandma.
01:18:55Well, I just found out for sure
01:18:57a few minutes ago,
01:18:58but you've known this whole time?
01:18:59I was scared.
01:19:01Okay, I didn't know
01:19:02if you were going to take her from me.
01:19:03I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:19:05How could you not know how I felt?
01:19:20I love you, Eva.
01:19:23I love you, too.
01:19:25I promise.
01:19:27For the rest of my life,
01:19:28I'm going to make it up to you.
01:19:29As long as we're together,
01:19:33it doesn't matter where we are.
01:19:34Will you marry me, Eva?
01:19:47For real this time?
01:19:48Yeah, yes.
01:19:50Yes, of course.
01:19:51Yes.
01:19:54Looks like you're stuck with me
01:19:59the next Christmas
01:20:00and the Christmas after that
01:20:02and forever.
01:20:05I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:20:12Who's that?
01:20:15Eva!
01:20:17Take me back!
01:20:20I'm sorry!
01:20:21I'm struck you tired!
01:20:25Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:20:27Again.
01:20:31No?
01:20:32Not funny?
01:20:33Not funny?
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