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Baylen Out Loud (2025) Season 2 Episode 13 - My Brain Feels Different
Baylen Out Loud
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Baylen Out Loud
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🎞 Please subscribe to our official channel to watch the full movie for free, as soon as possible. ❤️Reality Insight Hub❤️
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FunTranscript
00:00Oh, my God.
00:01New England, U.S. England, across the water.
00:07Spotted alone in a Sephora energy baby weenie.
00:10We're not saying that again.
00:15Look at the double-decker.
00:17Their sidewalks here are pretty skinny.
00:19Look at their license plates.
00:21Hello, London.
00:22Everything is still so much different, it feels like.
00:25Yeah.
00:25What did the wedding planner have to say about Colin and his horse?
00:31Oh, God.
00:32Colin and I met up with the wedding planner,
00:34and she told us we spent too much money on our venue.
00:38We should maybe ask my parents for some help.
00:41I don't think that I'm ready to go and ask your dad for a handout.
00:48Next stop, Piccadilly Circus.
00:50Pick a dick, bitch.
00:51Hit it, driver.
00:52Hit it, bitch.
00:53The tour and the tour guide are awesome,
00:57but I can definitely feel Balen's tics escalating
00:59the longer that we're on this bus tour.
01:02Park Plaza that dick.
01:03Park that dick.
01:04This is exactly why we wanted to come to London
01:07and try the new Pulse device.
01:09Fantastic dick.
01:11I really hurt my hand.
01:12If this device works,
01:14these moments could be so much more enjoyable for Balen.
01:19Pulse bitch.
01:21Yeah, he both definitely needs.
01:22If this device really is this life-changing,
01:26maybe that's something that would really help with pregnancy as well.
01:30Okay.
01:32Let's save the baby talk for another day.
01:37Spotted dick.
01:38That's actually what it says.
01:41Dick.
01:42He just turns around and stares and laughs.
01:46Just grew up without no manners.
01:47It's so hard when you're being mocked and stared at.
01:52Dick.
01:52This is the way it is.
01:54I just don't know how much more I can take.
01:58Holy dude.
01:59Objection.
02:12Spotted.
02:14Alone in the safari.
02:16An itchy baby weenie.
02:18He's about to be called out.
02:20This isn't our first rodeo in public.
02:27It took every ounce of meat.
02:30Every dingleberry in me.
02:32Yeah, pretty much.
02:33To not say something to him.
02:36Oh, there's an alpaca.
02:37Oh, wow.
02:37To taste the alpaca sweet.
02:39That's the team.
02:39But I didn't want to cause a scene
02:42and have it ruin the time that we were having with her family.
02:48Oh, God.
02:49It's my first taste of beer.
02:55Is it bitter?
02:56No.
02:57So do you like it?
02:58Yeah.
02:59Really?
03:00Yeah, it tastes like when I burp up popcorn a day later.
03:02I think you're the only human on this planet that thinks that.
03:07No, I think I'm the only human with the right taste buds
03:09to know that that's exactly what it tastes like.
03:13Here we go, guys.
03:15So, Ben, I got you some side plates so you can share that time
03:18just so you can say as well.
03:19So that's the bangers and mash for you.
03:22Dick and dick.
03:23Community dick.
03:25Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
03:26Dude, are you?
03:27That's the fish and chips for you and a little bit of lemon to squeeze in.
03:29Do you need ketchup, Mary?
03:30Anything like that?
03:31No.
03:32I'm just going to need a nap.
03:34This is no joke.
03:36Oh.
03:37It's going to be on your fish.
03:39It's actually good.
03:41The fish and chips, I thought, tasted fresh.
03:43I thought it was good.
03:44I liked it.
03:45I liked it.
03:45It was overall like an 8.5.
03:48Oh, Mom, you'll love this.
03:50What is it, Julie?
03:51Bubble and squeak.
03:52Cabbage, carrots, potatoes.
03:54Just eat it.
03:56No, I just need to hold it like this.
03:57Okay.
03:58I'm not going to throw it.
03:59Look at that.
04:07Do you like it or no?
04:09I'm going to go with a no.
04:11You want fries?
04:13What are you doing?
04:14For Baila wants french fries.
04:16Well, there's one thing.
04:18Oh.
04:19Oh.
04:19What are you doing?
04:21Getting my ranch out.
04:23For my french fries.
04:24We brought ranch to the restaurant.
04:26I'm still taken back at the fact that she would bring it to another foreign land.
04:31Like, I don't get it.
04:34I don't know if you excuse me.
04:35Like, she's awesome and weird and, like, I love it.
04:42I surrender.
04:44Mother.
04:46Hey, mother.
04:46Are you nervous about your appointment or excited?
04:51Oh, about New Pals?
04:52Yeah.
04:53I'm not necessarily nervous.
04:55I'm just hopeful.
04:56I surrender.
04:57Are you struggling?
05:01Yeah.
05:01Okay, yeah.
05:02You ready to head out, then?
05:04If it's okay with everyone else, I'm just, like, extremely, just, like, ready to stop saying dick.
05:10Dick!
05:11I think she was truly emotionally exhausted at looking at people that were clearly, like, mocking her the whole time.
05:19And lots of anticipation for New Pals tomorrow.
05:23So I think the best thing for us to do is go back to the flat and rest up.
05:26Shut up, bitch!
05:28I can only imagine what it would be like to go out to a restaurant for an hour and be completely tick-free.
05:35Or not even completely tick-free.
05:37Just less ticky.
05:40I'll take it.
05:41You get them, Forrest.
06:04I'm excited for you.
06:06Today is finally the day.
06:08We are here to meet people with New Pals.
06:12All right.
06:13A device that helps the frequency of ticks.
06:16And today, I will be able to try it on for the first time.
06:20Here we are.
06:20It's nice and warm in here, too.
06:22I don't know.
06:22You're a bitch.
06:23The anticipation leading up to this meeting today is white knuckles.
06:32There's fidgety.
06:34I'll send that down right there.
06:36Oh, okay.
06:37My belly's a little nervous.
06:39Yeah, welcome to the club.
06:42What if the device doesn't work and it doesn't help my ticks?
06:44And it does nothing?
06:46Shut up, bitch!
06:48But I'm also very hopeful because I've been waiting for something like this to help me for a long time.
06:53Hello.
06:56Hello.
06:57Hi, I'm Barbara.
06:59My name is Barbara Morera.
07:01I'm a neuroscientist.
07:03Specifically, I have studied the brain in people with Tourette's syndrome.
07:06Oh, my gosh.
07:10New Pulse was founded with the aim to develop a medical device to relieve symptoms of Tourette's syndrome.
07:16New Pulse is not trying to get rid of the condition.
07:19It's a tool to manage and better control ticks and the feeling that comes with it.
07:30So, how has your trip been?
07:32Good.
07:33It's been really good.
07:34Good. Thanks for inviting us here to test this out.
07:38No problem.
07:40I want to try it on so fast.
07:43We're hoping for a good result with Balin when trying the stimulation.
07:47Shut up, bitch!
07:49Up top, Girl Scout.
07:51But I think it's important to be aware that the range of benefit varies from person to person.
07:57Is there a reason that it's not out to, like, the public yet?
08:04Because this is a medical device.
08:06Okay.
08:07We need to provide a lot of documentation and evidence that this is a very safe device.
08:13Also, because we want to get the device available over the counter.
08:21Mm-hmm.
08:22Wow.
08:23Yeah.
08:24Wow.
08:25But it would come out here first, and then, of course, there's a whole another process for
08:29the United States, like the FDA, to approve it over there.
08:32Exactly.
08:33Yeah.
08:34So, we're still in the latest stages of development, and first, we will be getting regulatory approval
08:40in the UK, and that's where it's going to be available, but we won't be able to sell
08:46it outside the UK until we get regulatory approval in those other countries.
08:51Yes.
08:52Yes.
08:53How many case studies have there been for the device?
08:56Well, we haven't done case studies.
08:59We have done a proper clinical trial.
09:01Clinical trial.
09:02Yes.
09:03And so, the results of the trial show that there is an immediate effect of the stimulation,
09:07and also sustained benefits.
09:09So, specifically, we saw a reduction in the frequency of ticks of average 25% when receiving
09:16stimulation.
09:17What we also saw is that after using the device for 10 minutes a day for four weeks, there
09:22was a reduction in the severity of ticks of an average of 35%.
09:27Wow.
09:28Yeah.
09:29That's astonishing.
09:3220% improvement in anyone's life, regardless of whatever it is.
09:37Every facet of her life is affected by her Tourette syndrome.
09:40Wanted up.
09:42So, if Balin were to experience that number of relief, it wouldn't be the same life that
09:48she's been living for the last five or six years.
09:50So, you only wear it for 10 minutes?
09:53That's what we did in the clinical trial.
09:56But once the device is out, people will be able to use it however they want.
10:02The way the device works is it delivers mild electrical stimulation on the underside of
10:07the wrist.
10:08And that, when the intensity of the stimulation is strong enough, it modulates the area of the
10:13brain that it is altered in people with Tourette syndrome or chronic tick disorder.
10:18And this results in a reduction in the urge to tick, the frequency of ticks, and the severity
10:22of ticks.
10:24Let's get the sucker on.
10:28Put it on me.
10:31Are you ready to try the device, Balin?
10:33Yes, yes, I'm really excited to try the device.
10:50Balin, bitch.
11:03My hope for Balin is that she can experience the most relief that she's ever felt in her
11:28life.
11:29This could change everything.
11:31Can you place your, your arm on the table?
11:38Yeah.
11:40Perfect?
11:41Yes.
11:42Can you feel anything?
11:43It's not on.
11:44I think she has it on zero.
11:45It's not on.
11:46She's going to fix that.
11:47She gets to turn it up.
11:48Turn it up.
11:49Turn it up.
11:50Can you press and hold the button for five seconds, please?
12:00You will see a yellow flashing light on the device.
12:05Perfect.
12:07And now you can just use the screen to increase intensity.
12:16And the levels of intensity for the stimulation go from one to 24.
12:20take your time.
12:21Take your time.
12:22It's a strange sensation, so it may take some time to get used to it.
12:27There you are.
12:286
12:38Do you feel anything yet?
12:52Let's keep going now.
13:08I feel it.
13:13Sure, bitch.
13:16It's like, it feels like numbness.
13:19It feels numb?
13:21Yeah, like tingly.
13:23In your fingers or up this way?
13:26My fingers, but then like through my...
13:29Through my eyes.
13:31Yeah, it's definitely eight.
13:33Wait, nine was too much?
13:35Nine was like...
13:37My brain feels different.
13:48She's cute.
13:54I mean, this is like our version of going to the moon.
13:58Up top Girl Scout.
14:01Still the same urge, it's just a little less.
14:05I feel a little bit numb right now because it feels like surreal.
14:10There's not many instances in life where your life can flip upside down in a matter of seconds.
14:16This just makes me feel, not exhausted, but just like, like calm.
14:23Yeah.
14:24Yeah.
14:25Yeah.
14:26Yeah.
14:27Yeah.
14:28Yeah.
14:29I feel calm.
14:30Okay.
14:31Okay.
14:32My baby girl feels like her brain feels calm.
14:42She hasn't used the word calm in years.
14:43My heart hurts because it's so happy.
14:47My heart hurts because it's so happy.
14:54I'm sorry.
14:55I'm sorry.
14:56It's pretty emotional.
14:57Just because I know that.
14:58Mmm.
14:59I did not want to get emotional.
15:00I did not want to get emotional.
15:02I know that.
15:03I know that.
15:04I'm sorry.
15:05I'm sorry.
15:06It's pretty emotional.
15:07Just because I know that.
15:08Mmm.
15:09Mmm.
15:10Mmm.
15:11Mmm.
15:12Mmm.
15:13I did not want to get emotional.
15:15I know the amount of pain that Baelin goes through on a daily basis.
15:21And just seeing how much this device gives her relief just means the world to me.
15:46I love you.
15:47I love you too.
15:55This is going to help so many people.
16:02I love to be part of that moment.
16:04Like, it's very emotional to see how the device is impacting someone else's life.
16:10And, yeah, it just makes me feel quite emotional as well.
16:15We're coming to get this.
16:18I'm sorry I have to give it back.
16:21You cannot take it with you back to the US, but you can try it out for a couple of hours
16:27out in public.
16:30Off we go for a little bit.
16:38Shut up, bitch.
16:39When the device turns off, it's like instantly back to all my tics.
16:46It's not like a buildup of tics.
16:49It's like a pause in my tics.
16:51Thank you so much.
16:52It was great to meet you.
16:53I truly appreciate this.
16:55No problem.
16:56It's very different to try the device on a quiet room where you know the people around
17:00you and then trying the device on a public setting where there's so many things out of
17:05your control.
17:06Thank you so much.
17:07No problem.
17:08No problem.
17:09It's stealing.
17:10Bitch.
17:11Yes.
17:12Bitch.
17:13Let's go to a library.
17:25World class.
17:29I said you hit it.
17:31Oh, it's actually kind of hard to judge.
17:38Because we were both on beginner.
17:43Because Sven is just so much better than back there.
17:45All right.
17:46Zip it up.
17:47We're done.
17:48Zip it off.
17:50Bro.
17:54Smells like light socks.
17:56This is a lot.
17:59This is an amazing place to come to to try it out for the first time because this is
18:20the environment I would be in if I already used the device.
18:28All of the overstimulation.
18:29All of the people.
18:30Set my tics off.
18:31Closed.
18:329 to 5 for Dick.
18:34Okay.
18:35Where is it?
18:36Okay.
18:37She's closed.
18:389 to 5.
18:39What?
18:40Dick!
18:41So how did the meeting go?
18:45You were gone a long time.
18:47The meeting was amazing.
18:49So how many people have they experimented this on?
18:53130.
18:54130.
18:55Can I see it?
18:56So this is it and it will go on the inside on your median nerve right here.
19:08Oh, it's magnetic.
19:10Shut up, bald bitch!
19:13So I have the phone too.
19:16And now all you have to do is just turn it on.
19:19Hold it for five seconds.
19:21And now it's on.
19:22Beeping yellow.
19:23And now it's on.
19:24Beeping yellow.
19:25This is the true test.
19:33Please work.
19:34Please.
19:41We're making every life decision in a matter of like six months.
19:44And now you wanting babies on top of it is.
19:48It's about wanting a family.
19:50It's what I want.
20:01I can feel it now.
20:02Tell me what you're feeling.
20:13Calmness.
20:15Like my brain feels different.
20:22The look on her face, her reaction, and the deepness in her eyes say the whole story.
20:29Just how impactful it is on her life in that small moment.
20:33If this device helped Bae even in the slightest,
20:36I believe it will give her that boost of confidence that she needs to have more fun and just enjoy time with us.
20:42Oh, I love you guys.
20:46So how does your brain feel different?
20:49I still feel like I have the urge to tick.
20:52It's not a cure.
20:53It just pauses it.
20:54Yeah.
20:55Pretty fascinating.
20:57And it's the look on your face.
20:59I know I'm happy.
21:01Yes, you're glowing.
21:02You are glowing.
21:03You're glowing.
21:04I'm really happy.
21:09I love you, sweetheart.
21:10I haven't felt like this since I was 13 years old.
21:22Being able to see you happy.
21:28Can't put that into words.
21:30You mean the world to me.
21:31You're not my Meemaw, and I'm closed 9 to 5.
21:41Well, let's have some fun.
21:43I'll play cricket.
21:45You're going to play?
21:46Yeah, I'll play.
21:47Go ahead, Colin.
21:48You check it out.
21:49Let's see this swing.
21:51I'll trade you.
21:53Hey, Dan.
21:54Hey, baby.
21:56Oh, I thought you had that one.
22:01Hello?
22:12This moment has been one of the biggest reliefs over the last four or five years.
22:20And all I wanted was the same hug.
22:22That I've given her the whole, the whole journey.
22:31We've waited for this for a long time.
22:35I know.
22:37This little tiny robotic device changed my life.
22:43What the heck?
22:49What a grateful journey.
22:53Thank you guys for getting me here.
22:55Thank you so much.
23:04Today has been rewarding, and happy, and positive, and probably every happy word in an encyclopedia you could find.
23:14I think dictionary is the right word.
23:16I don't give a what it is.
23:18Whatever book you can find happy words in, that's what book I'm talking about.
23:22And with mine and Colin's future, I want you guys to be closer.
23:27Would you mind hanging out with him?
23:29You guys could hang out while we're here.
23:31Yes.
23:32That'd be good.
23:34I'd like that.
23:35I want both of us moving in the same direction.
23:38So the both of you can be better.
23:46I hope he's better at golf.
23:47All right.
23:51All right.
23:52Hi, babe.
23:54Hi.
23:55Hi.
23:56How'd you sleep?
23:57Yeah, that's impactful.
23:58I really wasn't expecting the time change to be this difficult on me, to be honest.
24:00But it's worth it.
24:01The new Pulse meeting went great.
24:02Mm-hmm.
24:03It's just bittersweet, because it works, and I know that we can't leave with it.
24:04What a new Pulse device could do for her in the future, never felt within arm's reach.
24:07Hi, babe.
24:08Hi.
24:09How'd you sleep?
24:10Yeah, that's impactful.
24:11I really wasn't expecting a time change to be this difficult on me, to be honest.
24:16But it's worth it.
24:17The new Pulse meeting went great.
24:19It's just bittersweet because it works, and I know that we can't leave with it.
24:25What a new Pulse device could do for her in the future never felt within arm's reach until this trip for us.
24:36At least we know it works.
24:37Right. But how are we going to make it work?
24:40How we can make it work.
24:43Knowing something could really help your daughter so much, but really not having accessibility to it is really just depressing.
24:50Me and Colin have even talked about moving here.
24:56What?
24:57We talked about it because of the device working so well.
25:04He's like, I've never seen you so happy before.
25:07So we went through how to get a visa.
25:11Oh my gosh, Baelin.
25:12I kind of love the idea that they've been talking about moving to London only because it's affirming to me of how deep Colin's love is for Baelin.
25:25That he knows that at all costs, he wants to make her better.
25:31JB does crystal meth with Joe Biden.
25:35JB does a lot of crystal meth.
25:37Crystal meth for days, bitch.
25:38You're struggling right now.
25:39I know.
25:39So what about crystal meth?
25:44Okay, I can't.
25:45I'm going to have to switch my words.
25:47You had mentioned crystal meth.
25:50Okay, can't start with that either.
25:52JB does a lot of crystal meth.
25:55Hey, JB.
25:59I like that y'all are thinking about the big picture to include this device to better your life.
26:04But that's all very premature thinking because they haven't even given us like an exact release date.
26:11Want to know another thing that's premature?
26:15Colin told me.
26:16You could try it as a pregnant woman.
26:19Colin.
26:19You're smarter than that, Colin.
26:21Like I know you have baby fever, but like let's slow the roll here.
26:25Because Colin would want to have babies yesterday with his timeline.
26:28Wait, that's not where we should be going.
26:33You need to finish the journey that you've started about taking care of Balin.
26:40Because if you can't take care of you, then you can't take care of a child.
26:44I know.
26:44And you're finally starting to see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel where you can be hopeful.
26:51I think Colin probably needs to take a step back because Balin is really just experiencing independence for the first time in this last six months to a year.
27:03And then to add a child to that, I think, could really, it could really kick her back a few notches.
27:11I know deep within your soul just by what you're saying that no part of you is ready for a kid.
27:16I just don't think I've expressed to him my concerns.
27:25It is kind of one of the most important conversations in life.
27:29I know.
27:30I need to stop avoiding the conversation because with my condition, everything's always changing.
27:37And as much as I hate confrontation, it's a conversation that needs to happen so me and Colin can both be on the same page moving forward.
27:46We're here today to make a Viking knife.
27:53I know that Alan is really stoked to be doing this.
27:57I just, I don't know why there always has to be sharp objects when it's just us two.
28:01Chainsaws.
28:03Now we're making knives.
28:05Did it, Colin.
28:06Get mad.
28:06Is this it right here?
28:18Yeah.
28:19Boneyard, bro.
28:20This will be good.
28:21Come on.
28:22Let's go in here.
28:27Hey.
28:28Hey.
28:29Hi.
28:29Welcome to Boneyard.
28:30I'm James.
28:31I'm Alan.
28:31Nice to meet you.
28:32Colin.
28:33Nice to meet you.
28:34Yeah.
28:34Perfect.
28:35So if you guys just want to get some aprons on, they're on the hook behind you.
28:38And then when you're ready, just make your way over to the rest of the classes.
28:41Okay.
28:41All right.
28:42Balan asked me to spend some time with Colin today, some bonding time.
28:46So I got online and I started looking up some things where I thought maybe it would have
28:51been in my wheelhouse to maybe draw them into me a little bit.
28:55All right.
28:56So welcome to Boneyard.
28:58We're here today to make a Viking knife.
29:02This is something that I would never willingly choose to do.
29:06But I know that Alan is really stoked to be doing this.
29:10I just, I don't know why there always has to be sharp objects when it's just us two.
29:14Chainsaws.
29:15Now we're making knives.
29:18We have the bladed section here and there's also the handle section which we draw out,
29:21we twist around and then form.
29:23This is going to be great.
29:25I have no idea what I'm doing.
29:28I'm a little unsure going into this because we don't hang out one-on-one.
29:34Right there.
29:35It's just not our relationship at all.
29:38But I know how much this means to Balan.
29:45This place is pretty legit.
29:48Like I could probably, like I could, I could do an internship here.
29:55Hit it, Colin.
29:56Get mad.
29:56It's really cool to be able to see how each step, it looks a little bit more like a knife.
30:04So I get that sense of accomplishment that Alan probably gets when he makes stuff.
30:12So these just need to cool down now before the next step.
30:15So if you want to just take five, ten minutes break, we'll get back at it soon.
30:18Okay, thank you.
30:19Great.
30:20Yeah.
30:21No joke, right?
30:22Yeah, it's cool.
30:23Really cool.
30:24It's really important to have this time together, not just because Balan wants it,
30:28but because I don't want Colin to feel like he's always being judged by Balan's dad.
30:33This trip to London has been absolutely amazing and an emotional rollercoaster.
30:39A while back when we first had our discussion when I really met,
30:42I didn't want to give you any false hope like this was going to be an easy relationship,
30:48but I want you to know, like, you're doing great, man.
30:51I'm just more concerned about the longevity of providing.
30:55That's all it is for me because if your life's not easy, then neither is hers for whatever it's worth.
31:03Yeah, so, you know, the plan is to still pursue real estate.
31:09Yeah.
31:09I'm excited.
31:10It's looking really promising.
31:12However, because of this new Pulse device, Balan and I actually talked about moving to the UK
31:19because to me, it's more important to me that Balan lives a happier, easier life than what I do.
31:30It's not 100% decided on, but it's a massive conversation to have with Balan.
31:40Um, there is, there's just a lot of hoops to jump through.
31:46But, yeah, I think it's a, I think it's a, I think it's a, but that's pretty, pretty f***ing honorable.
31:54Yeah.
31:54Trying to guide your kid in, in the moment decisions based on emotions is, is a struggle because you do want to support them.
32:03But, realistically, the path to moving to another country is staggering.
32:08This conversation, it's night and day compared to the ones that I've had in the past.
32:14It's less of telling.
32:16We got to get our picture taken in this.
32:18Yeah.
32:19We'll send it to, uh, Bay.
32:20So, this outing was a step in the right direction towards having a better relationship moving forward.
32:28There, I've switched around.
32:30Are you ready?
32:31How do you, there we go, we got our, there we go.
32:35There you go, there's your knife, congratulations.
32:37Look at that, Colin.
32:39It's pretty cool.
32:40You guys happy with what you made today?
32:42Yes, sir.
32:42Perfect, no, you did a great job, you really picked it up well.
32:45I'm not gonna let you go, I'm gonna put you away, no, this is what you want to say.
32:55It's just an amazing city.
32:59London's been good to us.
33:01I'm not gonna let you go.
33:04I came to London with low hopes that the device would work, but it does work.
33:10And it makes the future look so much brighter for me and Colin.
33:13Once this device becomes available in the U.S.
33:16It's why I need to just be honest with Colin about my feelings.
33:21Me hanging out with your dad yesterday was fun.
33:24It makes my heart happy.
33:26This time that Colin and my dad spent together was almost like a, like a reset on their relationship.
33:33And if that can keep growing, then in the future, I see us being neighbors.
33:36I also told him about the whole real estate thing and, um...
33:44Did he ask for a backup plan?
33:47No, I mean, we really didn't, like, get into that.
33:50Because I also told him that because of the new Pulse device, we have had conversations about moving here.
33:59Giving you a better life means the most to me so that you can live a happier life and be a mom in the future.
34:08Then I'm fine with that.
34:10So...
34:11Moving here is not easy as one, two, three, pick up stuff and move.
34:15Like...
34:15Not saying it is.
34:16Nothing in life is easy.
34:20And where would you work?
34:21What would you do?
34:22That's all the stuff that we would have to figure out along the way.
34:27Would we do that before we get married?
34:28After we get married?
34:30Like...
34:30After.
34:31Now we're just throwing so much stuff into this equation.
34:37We're making every life decision in a matter of, like, six months.
34:40And now you wanting babies on top of it is...
34:45It's about wanting a family.
34:48It's what I want.
34:51I want a family, too.
34:53But I can't do timelines.
34:57I can't.
35:00At the end of the day, we have to have a family on my terms.
35:04Because of my condition.
35:07And...
35:08I'm not ready to have kids yet because of my tics.
35:14Over the last six months, I've definitely made a great amount of progress with my conditions.
35:20And once this new Pulse device comes available, it'll be the best tool there is to help me.
35:25But all on its own time.
35:26But I just don't want to be pressured into having kids three months from now, six months from now, a year from now.
35:35No one's pressuring you.
35:38Okay.
35:41I have definitely sensed that Balin has been dodging and avoiding having this conversation about kids.
35:48And being direct is just kind of like a relief because it's super important that Balin is just always honest with me about everything.
35:56I think right now, the only thing we really should be focusing on and budgeting on is our wedding.
36:03Instead of focusing on ten different things in our future.
36:07It's fine with me.
36:10In this instance, I do believe Balin is right, given the fact that we have a lot of things going on in our life next year.
36:19I love you.
36:21I love you, too.
36:24Let's go meet up with your family.
36:26Let's go meet up with your family.
36:27Okay.
36:30All right.
36:31I love you.
36:33I love you, too.
36:37Our wedding planner likes to call us venue broke.
36:40That's kind of what we are.
36:42Okay.
36:43He told us to lower our expectations or increase our budget.
36:48I would like dick.
36:51We have an ask.
36:52Don't throw anything stupid out right now.
36:54Beautiful.
36:55Beautiful.
36:55That is nice.
37:13Okay.
37:13That's iconic.
37:15I think we're both feeling a little bit of relief and exhaustion as this trip is ending.
37:23Oh, there's Bing Collin.
37:25Hey, guys.
37:26Hi, guys.
37:27Hey.
37:27How was your morning?
37:28What a trip.
37:28It's good.
37:29It's good.
37:29It's chilly, though.
37:30This is amazing.
37:32This trip has been really, really incredible.
37:35It's been really nice.
37:36Oh, gosh, yes.
37:37Some hope for the future.
37:39Yeah.
37:39Lots of hope.
37:41So would you guys, like, were you being honest in that, like, you would go back and forth or,
37:47like, move here?
37:49It's definitely a conversation for another time, but right now, like, our main focus is the wedding.
37:55Yeah.
37:56I love that.
37:57It really is what it needs to be.
37:58I love that.
37:58That makes me very happy to hear because you guys are a little bit all over the place right now.
38:04Very impulsive, but it warms my heart to know that my daughter's future husband is setting himself on the back burner and saying,
38:14if this is what you need, I'll figure it out.
38:17I'll do it.
38:17I'm loving who Collin is, like, really showing himself to be.
38:22I really am.
38:23And speaking of the wedding.
38:25Just zero in on that.
38:27We spoke to the wedding planner, and our wedding planner likes to call us venue broke.
38:32That's kind of what we are.
38:35Oh.
38:36Okay.
38:36You're bald.
38:37Basically told us to lower our expectations or increase our budget.
38:44And we have an ask.
38:47We would like your help with the wedding.
38:54Yeah.
38:55Just name it.
38:55What do you want?
38:56Want me to build you a barn?
38:57We want to save money with, like, a cross for the ceremony.
39:03Another thing, the bridal shower.
39:06Like, I really liked the setup for the engagement party.
39:09I would like dick.
39:11I would like the same setup for the bridal shower.
39:13Okay.
39:14I mean, I'm aching to help.
39:16Shut up, bitch!
39:17That makes me happy.
39:18It'll be fun.
39:19Thank you, guys.
39:20I feel fulfilled when Balen finally asks us for some help, because we just want to give.
39:29And it's hard to do that if we're not asked.
39:33We also have a budget that we know that we are going to give every child, all six of you,
39:38for a wedding.
39:39So you can choose to use that money also however you want.
39:42We really wanted to figure out all of this between us, and I feel like when I have to
39:49go to somebody and ask for help, I feel like I failed.
39:52But I knew that they would be very happy to help us out.
39:57As far as contributing some money, that's just a huge shock.
40:02I couldn't be more grateful.
40:05There's one other thing.
40:08Don't throw anything stupid out right now.
40:09I know it's not stupid.
40:10Let's just help with the wedding and call it a day.
40:12I do want to ask both of you something.
40:17You guys have both taken care of me throughout my life, and I only believe that both of you
40:23should walk me down the aisle for my wedding day.
40:27I don't know if I can do it.
40:28Oh, my Lord.
40:29God help me.
40:30Oh, you were willing to make fun of me afterwards.
40:32Like, oh, he couldn't hold it together.
40:33Oh, I don't know if I can do that.
40:33I think that's a great idea.
40:35You guys have both molded me into the person I am, and you guys both deserve to walk me down.
40:40Oh, my God.
40:41I love you guys.
40:42I don't know if I can do it, Mae.
40:43Yes, you can, Mae.
40:44Just walk slow.
40:45Yep.
40:46Just walk slow.
40:47Total shock.
40:48I'm still shocked.
40:49Like, I don't even know if I can do it, because I feel like I'll be so overwhelmed.
40:57This is...
40:58I'm better at, like, making fun of you crying.
41:04Well, I'm okay with it.
41:06I'm like a professional.
41:08I'm very blessed to have my parents guide me in the way that they have the last several
41:14years of my life.
41:16When you think about your wedding day valentine and then walking you up the aisle, how does
41:20that make you feel?
41:21Whole.
41:22God, it's been a lot.
41:23It's been a lot the last five years.
41:27And the only people that know that are my parents.
41:30So to have them walk me down the aisle when five years ago I couldn't even walk because
41:35my tics were so bad, it makes me feel whole.
41:39Can we wear matching flannels at the wedding?
41:43Wear matching dresses.
41:45We're learning how to walk through life with her instead of in front of her, because this
41:54is nothing we could have imagined a few years back.
41:58This is all we ever wanted.
42:01This is all we ever wanted.
42:02This is all we ever wanted.
42:03Oh, my God.
42:04Oh, my God.
42:05Oh, my God.
42:06Yeah, we got it.
42:07Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
42:09Honey, honey, you mean the world to me, okay?
42:12Oh, my God.
42:17Oh, it sheds.
42:19Yeah, she does.
42:22Just letting Balen really take the wheel, and not just Balen alone, Balen and Colin.
42:27Weighing it.
42:28This is what the queso felt one's gonna look like.
42:30Yeah.
42:31All right.
42:32Chase after the weenie.
42:35I like the hand action.
42:37Can we sway him, too?
42:38No.
42:39Okay.
42:40We're not even really in the passenger seat anymore.
42:42We're in the back seat, and we're watching you kind of steer your way through the world.
42:48But yell back to us if you need us.
42:50Yell back.
42:51We got you.
42:52Can we do a photo, guys?
42:53Yeah, let's just do it facing this way.
42:54Let's do it right here.
42:55Sometimes it's easier to dwell on the negative and think about the negative.
43:00Yeah.
43:01But what this trip has reminded me of is that day that she put that new pulse on her wrist
43:06will forever be on my calendar.
43:08I feel gone.
43:09That's the reminder I take with me from London.
43:23Thank you, London.
43:24Thank you, London.
43:36One, two, three.
43:37Suck a .
43:44The last couple months of our lives have been a journey, a wild journey between wedding
43:49planning, which we still don't know what we're doing.
43:52Planning on a career change that it could also include a move out of state.
43:57Which is super scary to me.
43:59All right, let's go pack it up.
44:05There's a lot, and it's just the beginning.
44:07Okay.
44:11Bitch.
44:12You little wanker.
44:20In all Nantucket, they are wankers.
44:22Oh, good God.
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