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Baylen Out Loud (2025) Season 2 Episode 13 - My Brain Feels Different
Baylen Out Loud
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Baylen Out Loud
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🎞 Please subscribe to our official channel to watch the full movie for free, as soon as possible. ❤️Reality Insight Hub❤️
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FunTranscript
00:00Oh, my God.
00:01New England, U.S. England, across the water.
00:07Spotted alone in a Sephora energy baby weenie.
00:10We're not saying that again.
00:15Look at the double-decker.
00:17Their sidewalks here are pretty skinny.
00:19Look at their license plates.
00:21Hello, London.
00:22Everything is still so much different, it feels like.
00:25Yeah.
00:25What did the wedding planner have to say about Colin and his horse?
00:31Oh, God.
00:32Colin and I met up with the wedding planner,
00:34and she told us we spent too much money on our venue.
00:38We should maybe ask my parents for some help.
00:41I don't think that I'm ready to go and ask your dad for a handout.
00:48Next stop, Piccadilly Circus.
00:50Pick a dick, bitch.
00:51Hit it, driver.
00:52Hit it, bitch.
00:53The tour and the tour guide are awesome,
00:57but I can definitely feel Balen's tics escalating
00:59the longer that we're on this bus tour.
01:02Park Plaza that dick.
01:03Park that dick.
01:04This is exactly why we wanted to come to London
01:07and try the new Pulse device.
01:09Fantastic dick.
01:11I really hurt my hand.
01:12If this device works,
01:14these moments could be so much more enjoyable for Balen.
01:19Pulse bitch.
01:21Yeah, he both definitely needs.
01:22If this device really is this life-changing,
01:26maybe that's something that would really help with pregnancy as well.
01:30Okay.
01:32Let's save the baby talk for another day.
01:37Spotted dick.
01:38That's actually what it says.
01:41Dick.
01:42He just turns around and stares and laughs.
01:46Just grew up without no manners.
01:47It's so hard when you're being mocked and stared at.
01:52Dick.
01:52This is the way it is.
01:54I just don't know how much more I can take.
01:58Holy dude.
01:59Objection.
02:12Spotted.
02:14Alone in the safari.
02:16An itchy baby weenie.
02:18He's about to be called out.
02:20This isn't our first rodeo in public.
02:27It took every ounce of meat.
02:30Every dingleberry in me.
02:32Yeah, pretty much.
02:33To not say something to him.
02:36Oh, there's an alpaca.
02:37Oh, wow.
02:37To taste the alpaca sweet.
02:39That's the team.
02:39But I didn't want to cause a scene
02:42and have it ruin the time that we were having with her family.
02:48Oh, God.
02:49It's my first taste of beer.
02:55Is it bitter?
02:56No.
02:57So do you like it?
02:58Yeah.
02:59Really?
03:00Yeah, it tastes like when I burp up popcorn a day later.
03:02I think you're the only human on this planet that thinks that.
03:07No, I think I'm the only human with the right taste buds
03:09to know that that's exactly what it tastes like.
03:13Here we go, guys.
03:15So, Ben, I got you some side plates so you can share that time
03:18just so you can say as well.
03:19So that's the bangers and mash for you.
03:22Dick and dick.
03:23Community dick.
03:25Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
03:26Dude, are you?
03:27That's the fish and chips for you and a little bit of lemon to squeeze in.
03:29Do you need ketchup, Mary?
03:30Anything like that?
03:31No.
03:32I'm just going to need a nap.
03:34This is no joke.
03:36Oh.
03:37It's going to be on your fish.
03:39It's actually good.
03:41The fish and chips, I thought, tasted fresh.
03:43I thought it was good.
03:44I liked it.
03:45I liked it.
03:45It was overall like an 8.5.
03:48Oh, Mom, you'll love this.
03:50What is it, Julie?
03:51Bubble and squeak.
03:52Cabbage, carrots, potatoes.
03:54Just eat it.
03:56No, I just need to hold it like this.
03:57Okay.
03:58I'm not going to throw it.
03:59Look at that.
04:07Do you like it or no?
04:09I'm going to go with a no.
04:11You want fries?
04:13What are you doing?
04:14For Baila wants french fries.
04:16Well, there's one thing.
04:18Oh.
04:19Oh.
04:19What are you doing?
04:21Getting my ranch out.
04:23For my french fries.
04:24We brought ranch to the restaurant.
04:26I'm still taken back at the fact that she would bring it to another foreign land.
04:31Like, I don't get it.
04:34I don't know if you excuse me.
04:35Like, she's awesome and weird and, like, I love it.
04:42I surrender.
04:44Mother.
04:46Hey, mother.
04:46Are you nervous about your appointment or excited?
04:51Oh, about New Pals?
04:52Yeah.
04:53I'm not necessarily nervous.
04:55I'm just hopeful.
04:56I surrender.
04:57Are you struggling?
05:01Yeah.
05:01Okay, yeah.
05:02You ready to head out, then?
05:04If it's okay with everyone else, I'm just, like, extremely, just, like, ready to stop saying dick.
05:10Dick!
05:11I think she was truly emotionally exhausted at looking at people that were clearly, like, mocking her the whole time.
05:19And lots of anticipation for New Pals tomorrow.
05:23So I think the best thing for us to do is go back to the flat and rest up.
05:26Shut up, bitch!
05:28I can only imagine what it would be like to go out to a restaurant for an hour and be completely tick-free.
05:35Or not even completely tick-free.
05:37Just less ticky.
05:40I'll take it.
05:41You get them, Forrest.
06:04I'm excited for you.
06:06Today is finally the day.
06:08We are here to meet people with New Pals.
06:12All right.
06:13A device that helps the frequency of ticks.
06:16And today, I will be able to try it on for the first time.
06:20Here we are.
06:20It's nice and warm in here, too.
06:22I don't know.
06:22You're a bitch.
06:23The anticipation leading up to this meeting today is white knuckles.
06:32There's fidgety.
06:34I'll send that down right there.
06:36Oh, okay.
06:37My belly's a little nervous.
06:39Yeah, welcome to the club.
06:42What if the device doesn't work and it doesn't help my ticks?
06:44And it does nothing?
06:46Shut up, bitch!
06:48But I'm also very hopeful because I've been waiting for something like this to help me for a long time.
06:53Hello.
06:56Hello.
06:57Hi, I'm Barbara.
06:59My name is Barbara Morera.
07:01I'm a neuroscientist.
07:03Specifically, I have studied the brain in people with Tourette's syndrome.
07:06Oh, my gosh.
07:10New Pulse was founded with the aim to develop a medical device to relieve symptoms of Tourette's syndrome.
07:16New Pulse is not trying to get rid of the condition.
07:19It's a tool to manage and better control ticks and the feeling that comes with it.
07:30So, how has your trip been?
07:32Good.
07:33It's been really good.
07:34Good. Thanks for inviting us here to test this out.
07:38No problem.
07:40I want to try it on so fast.
07:43We're hoping for a good result with Balin when trying the stimulation.
07:47Shut up, bitch!
07:49Up top, Girl Scout.
07:51But I think it's important to be aware that the range of benefit varies from person to person.
07:57Is there a reason that it's not out to, like, the public yet?
08:04Because this is a medical device.
08:06Okay.
08:07We need to provide a lot of documentation and evidence that this is a very safe device.
08:13Also, because we want to get the device available over the counter.
08:21Mm-hmm.
08:22Wow.
08:23Yeah.
08:24Wow.
08:25But it would come out here first, and then, of course, there's a whole another process for
08:29the United States, like the FDA, to approve it over there.
08:32Exactly.
08:33Yeah.
08:34So, we're still in the latest stages of development, and first, we will be getting regulatory approval
08:40in the UK, and that's where it's going to be available, but we won't be able to sell
08:46it outside the UK until we get regulatory approval in those other countries.
08:51Yes.
08:52Yes.
08:53How many case studies have there been for the device?
08:56Well, we haven't done case studies.
08:59We have done a proper clinical trial.
09:01Clinical trial.
09:02Yes.
09:03And so, the results of the trial show that there is an immediate effect of the stimulation,
09:07and also sustained benefits.
09:09So, specifically, we saw a reduction in the frequency of ticks of average 25% when receiving
09:16stimulation.
09:17What we also saw is that after using the device for 10 minutes a day for four weeks, there
09:22was a reduction in the severity of ticks of an average of 35%.
09:27Wow.
09:28Yeah.
09:29That's astonishing.
09:3220% improvement in anyone's life, regardless of whatever it is.
09:37Every facet of her life is affected by her Tourette syndrome.
09:40Wanted up.
09:42So, if Balin were to experience that number of relief, it wouldn't be the same life that
09:48she's been living for the last five or six years.
09:50So, you only wear it for 10 minutes?
09:53That's what we did in the clinical trial.
09:56But once the device is out, people will be able to use it however they want.
10:02The way the device works is it delivers mild electrical stimulation on the underside of
10:07the wrist.
10:08And that, when the intensity of the stimulation is strong enough, it modulates the area of the
10:13brain that it is altered in people with Tourette syndrome or chronic tick disorder.
10:18And this results in a reduction in the urge to tick, the frequency of ticks, and the severity
10:22of ticks.
10:24Let's get the sucker on.
10:28Put it on me.
10:31Are you ready to try the device, Balin?
10:33Yes, yes, I'm really excited to try the device.
10:50Balin, bitch.
11:03My hope for Balin is that she can experience the most relief that she's ever felt in her
11:28life.
11:29This could change everything.
11:31Can you place your, your arm on the table?
11:38Yeah.
11:40Perfect?
11:41Yes.
11:42Can you feel anything?
11:43It's not on.
11:44I think she has it on zero.
11:45It's not on.
11:46She's going to fix that.
11:47She gets to turn it up.
11:48Turn it up.
11:49Turn it up.
11:50Can you press and hold the button for five seconds, please?
12:00You will see a yellow flashing light on the device.
12:05Perfect.
12:07And now you can just use the screen to increase intensity.
12:16And the levels of intensity for the stimulation go from one to 24.
12:20take your time.
12:21Take your time.
12:22It's a strange sensation, so it may take some time to get used to it.
12:27and i'm going to get on your lip, but now we have a mirror.
12:34Do you feel anything yet?
12:48Do you feel anything yet let's keep going on
13:11I feel it
13:13Sure, bitch
13:15It's like, feels like numbness
13:19It feels numb?
13:21Yeah, like tingly
13:23In your fingers or up this way?
13:25My fingers but then like through my
13:28Through my arm
13:30Yeah, it's definitely eight
13:32Wait, nine was too much?
13:34Nine was too much
13:36Wow
13:43My brain feels different
13:47Mmm
13:51She's cute
13:53I mean this is like our version of going to the moon
13:57Up top Girl Scout
13:59It's all the same urge, it's just a little less
14:04I feel a little bit numb right now
14:08Because it feels like surreal
14:10There's not many instances in life
14:12Where your life can flip upside down
14:15In a matter of seconds
14:19This just makes me feel, not exhausted
14:21But just like, like calm
14:24Yeah
14:26Yeah
14:27Yeah
14:28I feel calm
14:30Okay
14:32My baby girl feels like her brain feels calm
14:57She hasn't used the word calm
15:00In years
15:05My heart
15:06Hurts
15:07Because it's so happy
15:17I'm sorry
15:20It's pretty emotional
15:21Just
15:22Because I know the
15:23Mmm
15:24I did not want to get emotional
15:30I know the amount of pain that Baylin goes through on a daily basis
15:37And
15:38Just seeing how much this device gives her relief
15:42It just means the world to me
15:45I love you
15:46I love you too
15:47Thank you
15:48Thank you
15:56This is going to help so many people
15:59Thank you
16:02I love to be part of that moment
16:04Like it's very emotional to see how the device is impacting someone else's life
16:09And it, yeah, it just makes me feel quite emotional as well
16:15We're coming to get this
16:16And soon
16:18I'm sorry I have to give it back
16:20You cannot take it with you back to the US
16:24But you can try it out for a couple of hours out in public
16:27Thank you
16:34Off we go for a little bit
16:38Shut up, bitch!
16:40When the device turns off, it's like instantly back to all my tics
16:44But with New Pulse, it's not like a build-up of tics
16:48It's like a pause in my tics
16:50Thank you so much
16:51It was great to meet you
16:52Truly appreciate this
16:53Thank you
16:54No problem
16:55It's very different to try the device on a quiet room
16:58Where you know the people around you
17:00And then trying the device on a public setting
17:02Where there's so many things out of your control
17:06Thank you so much
17:07No problem
17:09It's stealing
17:10Bitch
17:12Bitch
17:13Let's go to a library
17:21World class
17:30I said you hit it
17:32Who's a better cricket player?
17:33You or Sven?
17:34Well, it's actually kind of hard to judge
17:41Cause we were both on beginner
17:43Cause Sven is just so much better than Baxter
17:45Alright, I'm gonna get
17:46Zip it over
17:47Zip it off
17:50Bro
17:54Smells like light socks
17:56This is a lot
18:00Oh bitch
18:02Hi
18:06There's, I don't know
18:07All of London here
18:08Shut up bitch
18:11This will be a good test
18:13Bitch
18:16This is an amazing place to come to
18:18To try it out for the first time
18:19Because this is the environment
18:20I would be in
18:21If I already
18:23Used the device
18:28All of the overstimulation
18:29All of the people
18:30Set my tics off
18:31Closed
18:329 to 5 for dick
18:34Okay
18:35Where is it?
18:36Okay, she's closed
18:379 to 5
18:38What?
18:39Dick
18:40So how did the meeting go?
18:44You were the
18:45You were gone a long time
18:47The meeting was amazing
18:49Amazing
18:50So how many people
18:51Have they experimented this on?
18:53130
18:54130
18:55Can I see it?
18:56Do you see it?
19:02So this is it
19:03And it will go
19:04On the inside
19:05On your median nerve
19:06Right here
19:09Oh it's magnetic
19:10Shut up
19:11Old bitch
19:13So I
19:14I have the phone too
19:17And now all you have to do
19:18Is just turn it on
19:19Hold it for 5 seconds
19:22And now it's on
19:23And now it's beeping yellow
19:24This is the true test
19:32Please work
19:34Please
19:40We're making every life decision
19:42In a matter of like
19:43Six months
19:44And now you wanting babies
19:46On top of it
19:47Is
19:48It's about wanting a family
19:49It's what I want
19:54I can feel it now
20:01Tell me what you're feeling
20:12Calmness
20:13Like my brain feels different
20:15The look on her face
20:23Her reaction
20:24And the
20:25The deepness in her eyes
20:26Say the whole story
20:28Just how impactful it is
20:30On her life
20:31In that small moment
20:33If this device helped Bae
20:34Even in the slightest
20:35I believe it will give her
20:36That boost of confidence
20:37That she needs to
20:38Have more fun
20:39And just enjoy
20:40Time with us
20:41Aww
20:42I love you guys
20:43Aww
20:44So how does your brain feel different?
20:48I still feel like I have the urge to tick
20:51It's not a cure
20:52It just pauses it
20:54Yeah
20:55Pretty fascinating
20:56And it's the look on your face
20:58I know I'm happy
21:00Yes, you're glowing
21:01You are glowing
21:02You're glowing
21:03I'm really happy
21:04I love you sweetheart
21:06Aww
21:08I love you sweetheart
21:15I haven't felt like this
21:16Since I was 13 years old
21:18Like
21:23Being able to
21:24To see you happy
21:28Can't put that into words
21:30You mean the world to me
21:32You're not my Meemaw
21:38And I'm closed 9 to 5
21:40Well let's have some fun
21:43I'll play cricket
21:44You're gonna play?
21:45Yeah
21:46Go ahead Colin
21:47You check it out
21:48Let's see this swing
21:49I'll trade you
21:52Hey Dan
21:53Hey baby
21:56Oh, I thought you had that one
21:58Hello?
22:12This moment
22:13Has been one of the
22:16Biggest reliefs
22:17Over the last
22:18Four or five years
22:19And all I wanted was the same hug
22:25That I've given her the whole journey
22:28I've been waiting for this for a long time
22:35I know
22:37This little tiny robotic device
22:39Changed my life
22:43What the heck?
22:49What a grateful journey
22:52Thank you guys for getting me here
22:55Thank you so much
22:58Today has been
23:05Rewarding and happy and positive
23:08And probably every happy word in an encyclopedia you could find
23:14I think dictionary is the right word
23:16I don't give a what it is
23:17Whatever book you can find happy words in
23:19That's what book I'm talking about
23:21And with mine and Colin's future
23:24I want you guys to be closer
23:26Would you mind hanging out with him?
23:28Work and the rest
23:29You guys could hang out while we're here
23:30Yes
23:31That'd be good
23:33I'd like that
23:34I want both of us moving in the same direction
23:37So the both of you can be better
23:39I hope he's better at golf
23:46I hope he's better at golf
23:51All right
23:52Hi babe
23:54Hi
23:55How'd you sleep?
23:56Hmm
23:57Yeah, that's impactful
23:58I really wasn't expecting the time change to be this difficult on me to be honest
24:02But it's worth it
24:03But it's worth it
24:04New Pulse meeting went great
24:05Mm-hmm
24:06It's just bittersweet
24:07Because it works and I know that we can't leave with it
24:08What a new Pulse device could do for her in the future never felt within arm's reach until this trip for us
24:25I don't
24:26At least we know it works
24:27Right
24:31felt within arm's reach until this trip for us I guess we know it works right
24:37but how are we gonna make it well we can make it work knowing something could
24:45really help your daughter so much but really not having accessibility to it is
24:49really just depressing me and Colin have even talked about moving here what we
24:57talked about it because of the device working so well he's like I've never
25:05seen you so happy before so we went through how to get a visa mm-hmm oh my
25:11gosh Baelin I kind of love the idea that they've been talking about moving to
25:17London only because it's affirming to me of how deep Colin's love is for Baelin
25:24that he knows that at all costs he wants to make her better JB does crystal
25:32meth with Joe Biden JB does a lot of crystal meth crystal meth for days bitch
25:38you're struggling right now I know so what about crystal meth okay I can't I'm gonna
25:45have to switch my words you had mentioned crystal meth okay can't start
25:51with that either JB does a lot of crystal meth hey JB I like that y'all are
26:01thinking about the big picture to include this device to better your life but
26:05that's all very premature thinking because they haven't even given us like
26:09an exact release date want to know another thing that's premature
26:14Colin told me you could try it as a pregnant woman
26:18Colin you're smarter than that Colin like I know you have baby fever but like
26:23let's slow the roll here because Colin would want to have babies yesterday with
26:27his timeline wait that's not where we should be going you need to finish the
26:35journey that you've started about taking care of Baelin because if you can't take
26:41care of you then you can't take care of a child I know you're finally starting to
26:46see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel or you can be hopeful hopeful I
26:52think Colin probably needs to take a step back because Baelin is really just
26:58experiencing independence for the first time in this last six months to a year
27:03and then to add a child to that I think could really it could really kick her back a few notches
27:10I know deep within your soul just by what you're saying that no part of you is ready for a kid
27:16I just don't think I've expressed to him my concerns it is kind of one of the most important
27:27conversations in life I know I need to stop avoiding the conversation because with my condition
27:35everything's always changing and as much as I hate confrontation it's a conversation that needs to
27:41happen so me and Colin can both be on the same page moving forward we're here today to make a Viking
27:52nice I know that Alan is really stoked to be doing this I just I don't know why there always has to
27:59be sharp objects when it's just us two chainsaws now we're making knives did it Colin get mad
28:06is this it right here yeah Boneyard bro this will be good come on let's go in
28:22hey hey hi welcome to Boneyard I'm James nice to meet you Colin nice to meet you yeah perfect so if
28:35you guys just want to get some aprons on they're on the hook behind you and then when you're ready
28:38just make your way over to the for the rest of the classes okay all right Balen asked me to spend
28:44some time with Colin today some bonding time so I got online and I started looking up some things
28:49where I thought maybe it would be in my wheelhouse to maybe draw them into me a little bit all right
28:56so welcome to Boneyard and we're here today to make a Viking knife this is something that I would
29:03never willingly choose to do but I know that Alan is really stoked to be doing this I just I don't
29:11know why there always has to be sharp objects when it's just us two chainsaws now we're making knives
29:17we have the bladed section here and there's also the handle section which we draw out we twist around
29:22and then form this is gonna be great I have no idea what I'm doing I'm a little unsure going into this
29:30because we don't hang out one-on-one right there it's just not our relationship at all but I know how
29:38much this means to Balen this place is pretty legit like I could probably like I could I could do an
29:50internship here hit it Colin get mad it's really cool to be able to see how each step it looks a
30:02little bit more like a knife so I get that sense of accomplishment that Alan probably gets when he
30:09makes stuff so these just need to cool down now before the next step so if you want to just take
30:16five ten minutes break we'll get back at it soon okay okay great yeah no joke right yeah it's cool
30:23really cool it's really important to have this time together not just because Balen wants it but
30:28because I don't want Colin to feel like he's always being judged by by Balen's dad this trip to London
30:34has been absolutely amazing and an emotional roller coaster a while back when we first had our
30:41discussion when I really met by I didn't want to give you any false hope like this was going to be an
30:46easy relationship but I want you to know like you're doing great man I'm just more concerned about the
30:53longevity of providing that's all it is for me because if your life's not easy then neither serves
30:59for whatever it's worth yeah so you know the plan is to still pursue real estate yeah I'm excited
31:09it's looking really promising however because of this new Pulse device uh Balen and I actually talked
31:17about moving to the UK because to me it's more important to me that Balen lives a happier easier
31:26life than what I do it's not 100% decided on but it's it's a massive conversation to have with Balen
31:39um there is there's just a lot of hoops to jump through but yeah I think it I think it's a but
31:52that's pretty pretty honorable yeah trying to guide your kid in in the moment decisions based on emotions
31:59is is a struggle because you do want to support them but realistically the path to moving to another
32:06country is staggering this conversation it's night and day compared to the ones that I've had in the
32:14past it's less of telling we got to get our picture taken in this yeah it was send it to uh bay so this
32:22outing was a step in the right direction towards having a better relationship moving forward there I've
32:29switched it around are you ready how do you there we go we got our there we go there you go there's
32:36your knife congratulations look at that Colin it's pretty cool you guys happy with what you made today
32:41yes sir this is perfect no you did a great job you really picked it up well
32:45it's just an amazing city London's been good to us
33:00I came to London with low hopes that the device would work but it does work
33:09and it makes the future look so much brighter for me and Colin once this device becomes available
33:15in the U.S. it's why I need to just be honest with Colin about my feelings
33:19me hanging out with your dad yesterday was fun it makes my heart happy this time that Colin and my
33:28dad spent together was almost like a like a reset on their relationship and if that can keep growing
33:34then in the future I see us being neighbors I also told him about the whole real estate thing and
33:43um did he ask for a backup plan no I mean we really didn't like get into that because I also told him
33:53that because of the new pulse device we have had conversations about moving here giving you a better
34:01life means the most to me so that you can live a happier life and be a mom in the future then I'm
34:09fine with that so moving here is not easy as one two three pick up stuff and move like not saying it
34:16is nothing in life is easy and where would you work what would you do that's all the stuff that we
34:24would have to figure out along the way would we do that before we get married after we get married
34:30like after now we're just throwing so much stuff into this occasion
34:34we're making every life decision in a matter of like six months and now with you wanting babies on top
34:44of it is it's about wanting a family it's what I want I want a family too but I can't do timelines I can't
34:58at the end of the day we have to have a family on my terms because of my condition and I'm not ready
35:09to have kids yet because of my tics over the last six months I've definitely made a great amount of
35:18progress with my conditions and once this new pulse device comes available it'll be the best tool there
35:24is to help me but on its own time but I just don't want to be pressured into having kids three months
35:32from now six months from now a year from now no one's pressuring you okay thank you I have definitely
35:43sensed that Balin has been dodging and avoiding having this conversation about kids and being direct
35:49is just kind of like a relief because it's super important that Balin is just always honest with me
35:55about everything I think right now the only thing we really should be focusing on and budgeting on is
36:02our wedding instead of focusing on 10 different things in our future it's fine with me in this
36:10instance I do believe Balin is right given the fact that we have a lot of things going on in our life
36:18next year I love you I love you too let's go meet up with your family okay okay our wedding planner likes to
36:39call us venue broke that's kind of what we are okay told us to lower expectations or increase our budget
36:48I would like dick do we have an ask don't throw anything stupid out right now
37:08beautiful that is nice okay that's that's that's iconic I think we're both feeling a little bit
37:18of relief and exhaustion as this trip is ending oh there's being Colin hey guys hi guys how was
37:27your morning yeah it's good it's chilly though amazing this trip has been really really incredible
37:35oh gosh yes some hope for the future yeah lots of hope so would you guys like were you being honest
37:43and that like you would go back and forth or like move here move here it's definitely a conversation for
37:51another time but right now like our main focus is the wedding yeah I love that is what it needs to be I
37:58love that that makes me very happy to hear because you guys are a little bit all over the place right now
38:04very impulsive but it warms my heart to know that my daughter's future husband is setting himself on the
38:13back burner and saying if this is what you need I'll figure it out I'll do it I'm loving who Colin is like
38:20really showing himself to be I really am and speaking of the wedding zero in on that we spoke to the wedding
38:28planner and our wedding planner likes to call us venue broke that's kind of what we are oh okay
38:36you're bald basically told us to lower our expectations or increase our budget and we haven't asked
38:45yeah just name it what do you what do you want want to build you a barn we want to save money with
38:59like like a cross for the ceremony another thing the bridal shower like I really liked the setup for
39:08the engagement party I would like dick I would like the same setup for the bridal shower okay I mean I'm
39:14making the help shut up bitch that makes me happy it'll be fun thank you guys I feel fulfilled when
39:24Balen finally asks us for some help because we just want to give and it's hard to do that if we're not
39:32asked we also have a budget that we know that we are going to give every child all six of you for a
39:39wedding so you can choose to use that money also however you are we really wanted to
39:44figure out all of this between us and I feel like when I have to go to somebody and ask for help
39:50I feel like I failed but I knew that they would be very happy to to help us out um as far as
39:58contributing some money that's just a huge shock I couldn't be more grateful there's one other there's
40:06one other thing don't throw anything stupid out right now no it's not let's just help with the wedding
40:11and call it a day I do want to ask I do want to ask both of you something you guys have both
40:18taken care of me throughout my life and I only believe that both of you should walk me down the
40:24aisle for my I don't know if I can do it oh my lord god oh you were willing to make fun of me
40:31afterwards like oh he couldn't hold it together I think that's a great idea you guys have both molded
40:37me into the person I am and you guys both deserve to walk me down the aisle oh my god I love you
40:43guys I don't know if I can do it may yes you can just walk slow yeah just walk slow total shock I'm
40:51still shocked like I don't even know if I can do it because I feel like I'll be so overwhelmed
40:58this is I'm better at like making fun of you crying well I'm okay with it I'm like a professional
41:08I'm very blessed to have my parents guide me in the way that they have the last several years of my life
41:16when you think about your wedding day valentine and then walking you up the aisle how does that
41:20make you feel whole it's been a lot it's been a lot the last five years and the only people that
41:30know that are my parents so to have them walk me down the aisle when five years ago I couldn't even
41:34walk because my tics were so bad it makes me feel whole can we wear matching flannels
41:42we're learning how to walk through life with her instead of in front of her because this is
41:55nothing we could have imagined a few years back
41:58honey honey you mean the world to me okay
42:18oh it sheds yeah he does just letting balen really take the wheel and not just balen alone balen and
42:27colin why ain't it this is what the case so felt one's gonna look like yeah all right chase after
42:33the weenie i like the hand action can we sway him too no okay we're not even really in the passenger
42:42seat anymore we're in the back seat and we're watching you kind of steer your way through the
42:48world but yell back to us if you need us yell back we got you can we do a photo guys yeah let's
42:53just do it right here sometimes it's easier to dwell on the negative and think about the negative
43:01but what this trip has reminded me of is that day that she put that new pulse on her wrist will
43:06forever be on my calendar
43:10i feel gone
43:11that's the reminder i take with me from london thank you london
43:25one two three suck
43:44the last couple months of our lives have been a journey a wild journey between wedding planning
43:50which we still don't know what we're doing planning on a career change that it could also include
43:56a move out of state which is super scary to me all right let's go pack it up
44:06there's a lot and it's just the beginning okay
44:08you little wanker in all nantucket they are wankers oh good god
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