- 9 hours ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Music
00:04Music
00:09Music
00:15Music
00:20Excuse me.
00:50You're telling me that the woman who loves to sing at any opportunity, who organises
00:56drag nights and finger nights and all that stuff, who loves being centre of attention,
01:00all of a sudden it's her birthday and she doesn't want no fuck?
01:04I want in the mood.
01:08What you talking about?
01:09You're always in the mood.
01:11You are the mood.
01:13Well, it's not so jazz hands when you realise.
01:16When you realise what?
01:18My life's not exactly what I thought it'd be, alright.
01:23I thought you'd hand the remix, so I didn't really want a fuck.
01:27Right.
01:28Is this because you've not got a fella?
01:30No.
01:31It's not just that.
01:35I love my life, but sometimes...
01:40Bit lonely.
01:42Bob on.
01:44Right.
01:45Well.
01:46Listen.
01:47I know that your life might not be where you think it should be right now, but I'll let
01:53me tell you, you are fan-tastic.
01:56And I'm telling you now, you've made my life a hundred times better.
02:04May I have this dance?
02:08Come on, come on.
02:09Come on, come on.
02:10Hey-o!
02:11Never fear!
02:12Your cake is here!
02:16Now, that cake looks very, very heavy.
02:18It's a very good job that you've got such lovely muscly arms.
02:20Oh, you've got very muscly arms as well.
02:21Oh, you've got very muscly arms too as well that can have played.
02:23Oh, you and Todd have saved it, eh?
02:24Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.
02:25Where is Todd?
02:26Oh, you know, he's a bit of a liar, the way that he's gone for a lie there.
02:27What?
02:28Is he out there anything to drink?
02:29Well, that's my point, exactly.
02:30What, so we just wanted to go home?
02:31Oh.
02:32Left without saying his goodbyes?
02:33Oh, listen.
02:34Don't worry about goodbyes.
02:35You see him all the time.
02:36Don't you worry little Ed about Todd.
02:37Oh, Sally's spectacular!
02:38Are you dancing?
02:39No!
02:40Cos I am asking!
02:41Move!
02:42Over in!
02:43Why would he cheat on you?
02:44There's no-one fitter than you, except me, and it's not me.
02:46So go on, then.
02:47What?
02:48Why would he cheat on you?
02:49There's no-one fitter than you, except me, and it's not me.
02:52So go on, then.
02:54What?
02:55What?
02:56What?
02:57What?
02:58What?
02:59What?
03:00What?
03:01What?
03:02What?
03:03What?
03:04Oh.
03:05So, go on, then.
03:06Who is she?
03:07Car whose latest?
03:16Its James.
03:21James?!
03:22James Bailey?!
03:23I can't believe this.
03:28James!
03:29That sneaky little skank!
03:32Oh, Carl's the skank.
03:36You blew up your life for him.
03:38Oh, thanks for the reminder.
03:40What am I going to do, Tris?
03:42Well, you can stop being such a sap.
03:45I knew I'd come to the right place for sympathy.
03:48No, I mean it, Abi. Remember who you are.
03:53Oh, you're right. What am I doing here?
03:55I should be chucking Carl's clothes out the window,
03:57or, I don't know, cutting up his best jacket.
04:00No, that's amateur. You're smarter than that.
04:03I'm not, though, am I?
04:05We were putting money aside for our new life in flaming Dusseldorf,
04:12and I'm putting groceries on credit cards
04:15while he's copping off with anyone he likes.
04:19Right, so he's got a nice little nest egg, has he, for Germany?
04:23A few grand.
04:24Be a shame if that went missing.
04:27What, you reckon I should rob it?
04:30Pay your debts off, buy a fabulous pair of shoes,
04:33and walk all over him. Fleece him!
04:35I knew there was a reason you and me were mates.
04:40Do not shed a single tear over him again, OK? Do you hear me?
04:44Damn right.
04:45Right, I've got to go, cos, erm, I've got some stuff to do.
04:56Did you not think to ask me first?
04:58I wasn't going to see my mind in the street, was I?
05:01She's not going to be happy until I'm in the gutter.
05:03Oh, that's not true. You two just clash.
05:05Christmas didn't do any good, either.
05:06That was all her doing.
05:08Oh, I know, but...
05:10Babe, she hates my guts.
05:12Oh, she doesn't.
05:14Eva, take this upstairs, would you?
05:17Today, if it's not too much trouble.
05:19It is, actually. You'll have to do it yourself.
05:21Carefully don't break your neck on the way up.
05:23Well, I'm surprised that hasn't happened to you in those trashy heels.
05:27Alright, enough.
05:29This is our home.
05:31Exactly.
05:32No, I mean all of ours, so can we please just get along?
05:37She hasn't even said sorry.
05:38Well, I am sorry.
05:40I'm sorry you feel so aggrieved.
05:42Babe, that is not an apology.
05:44That's the best you're going to get.
05:46Now, can we just move forward, please?
05:49I'll do a spot of cleaning.
05:51Stay to the place.
05:52Right, seriously.
05:53Babe, babe, babe, go.
05:57So, how is university for the very, very, very mature student?
06:04Oh, well, you know me.
06:07Potential barrister.
06:09Elderly, vagrant, pub, landlady.
06:11I treat everyone the same.
06:13It'd be an awful pity if you got barred, wouldn't it?
06:17I thought you were studying law, not medicine.
06:20If you must know, this is all about my grandson's accident.
06:24Well, his recovery from the hit and run.
06:27Mystery of the century.
06:29I'd like you to know that this is my life.
06:31It's not some cheap TV thriller.
06:34Oh, the drama of you.
06:37That.
06:39He's still alive, isn't he?
06:41And on the mend?
06:42Well, he would be.
06:43Happy.
06:44If he went to his physio, if he want to scare the stubborn ox.
06:47And he doesn't listen to a word you say.
06:50Maybe it's the way you say it.
06:52Maybe he's just a stubborn ox who needs to apologise.
06:56Sometimes you have to.
06:58With family.
06:59You see, if I'd cancelled the sparrow, I would have lost my hefty deposit, you know.
07:09Who is this bloke, any roadie?
07:11Andrew Scott.
07:12Hmm.
07:13Well, he's an amazing actor that me and Todd adore.
07:15But I get that you didn't want to lose your deposit.
07:17Yeah.
07:18So, it's fine.
07:19Can you take someone else?
07:20Well, it was kind of more for Todd than me.
07:22But, erm, yeah, I'm sure I could find someone.
07:25Hey, I've just found this in Todd's jacket.
07:28Oh, hey, hey, someone.
07:29Alert the authorities.
07:30They found my boyfriend's bone in his jacket.
07:32No.
07:33I mean, they need it.
07:34Won't they?
07:35I'm gonna drop it on over to me.
07:36Oh, Billy, he's sleeping off the ale.
07:38He doesn't need to be playing candid crush.
07:40What if he needs to contact us?
07:41Well, he won't.
07:42Look, put it back and I'll reunite it with him when I get home.
07:45Alright?
07:47Guys!
07:48Guys!
07:49The cake is up!
07:50Oh!
07:51Back home!
07:55Sorry!
08:17This hotel website's really basic.
08:20There's barely any reviews.
08:22Why are you still banging on about this?
08:24Because it doesn't add up.
08:25It's like a front or something.
08:27But when you spoke to somebody on the phone before, you spoke to an actual human and they
08:31said that Carla was staying there.
08:32Yeah, but when I try and book it, look, it doesn't let me go any further.
08:38Well, erm, the website designer needs a second.
08:41Yeah, but also when I look at maps, it's a building site.
08:45Well, yeah, but I mean, maps, they're never, like, fully up to date, are they?
08:51I mean, it's probably just a bit behind or something.
08:54Do you remember when we went to that boutique hotel in Portugal and it was only like half
08:58built?
08:59Yeah, I do.
09:00She was like ten.
09:01So it was really exciting.
09:02I was like, if I don't laugh, I'm going to cry.
09:04I can't imagine Carla seeing the funny side then.
09:06No.
09:07No, I think if it turns out to be a dud hotel, then she's going to chew my ear off and complaining
09:11about it when she gets back.
09:13So you reckon I'm making something out of nothing?
09:16I'm sure she's by the pool, just topping up the tan and eyeing up the talent.
09:21Oh.
09:24Don't make a sound.
09:25Oh, I'll knock you out proper this time.
09:28Please just let me go.
09:29Oh, God, you talk like I'm some kind of monster, but I came back to give you your kidney meds
09:33and look what you did to me.
09:35Oh.
09:37Ah, you didn't have to do that. It really hurts.
09:40You got me locked up in a cupboard and you're the victim.
09:45It is what it is.
09:47Like, yeah, it's not ideal, but I didn't want you to suffer, which is why I brought your meds.
09:52You can sing for these now.
09:54No, no, Becky.
09:55Please, I need them.
09:56No.
09:59You know Lisa's going to figure out who you really are.
10:05Lisa and me know each other inside out.
10:08And you can't mess with that, even though you tried.
10:13You're so damned.
10:14I don't care what you think, because pretty soon you'll be out of the picture
10:18and I'll get my happy ending with my family.
10:24If you were going to kill me, you'd have killed me by now.
10:29Look at you. You're shaking.
10:31You're not a killer.
10:35You've not got it, ain't you?
10:37No.
10:42But I don't have to, do I?
10:46Because without meds, your body's going to fail you pretty quickly.
10:50So all I have to do...
10:51Put on this gag.
11:04Get up.
11:08And walk out the door.
11:09I don't want it.
11:10Well, it's this or nothing, Betsy.
11:11Right, come on. Get the plates out, will you?
11:12OK, Mrs Crubbs.
11:13Excuse me.
11:14Hello.
11:15We are dishing up stir-fry again.
11:16Are you hungry?
11:17Yeah, starved, baby.
11:18I don't want it.
11:19I don't want it.
11:20I don't want it.
11:21Well, it's this or nothing, Betsy.
11:22Right, come on.
11:23Get the plates out, will you?
11:24OK, Mrs Crubbs.
11:25Excuse me.
11:26Hello.
11:27We are dishing up stir-fry again.
11:29Are you hungry?
11:30Yeah, starved, babes.
11:31Where have you been all day?
11:32I, um...
11:33You make every question sound like a police interrogation.
11:36Betsy, I don't.
11:37I was just concerned.
11:38You know, you...
11:39You look like death.
11:40You all right?
11:41I don't care.
11:42I'm not a fan.
11:43I'm not a fan.
11:44I'm a fan.
11:45I'm a fan.
11:46I'm a fan.
11:47I'm a fan.
11:48You meant a fan.
11:49I'm a fan.
11:50I'm a fan.
11:51I'm a fan.
11:52I'm a fan.
11:53I'm a fan.
11:54I'm a fan.
11:55I'm a fan.
11:56I'm a fan.
11:57I'm a fan.
11:58I'm a fan.
11:59I'm a fan.
12:00Oh, yeah, I'm just, you know.
12:03Oh, Mum! Oh, my God!
12:05Becky? Bex?
12:07Uh, er...
12:08Bessie calling an ambulance now.
12:09Yeah.
12:11Becky?
12:12Becky, can you hear me?
12:14Hey, you sit down, I'll get the gun.
12:16I should get attacked more often.
12:18Maybe I should invest in a little nurse's outfit, property, carie...
12:22Shh, although I do like the sound of that.
12:24I'm just going to go for a week.
12:25OK.
12:26Hiya, collection for Osborne.
12:28Yeah, I'll just grab it.
12:31An nurse's outfit.
12:34Er, it was a joke.
12:36What are you even doing here?
12:37Well, maybe I just fancied a onion barzy.
12:40So you followed us?
12:42Us?
12:43Look, I'm sorry, Will.
12:44I know you've got to be missing out on a session, but...
12:47after what happened to Daniel, I need to be with him.
12:49Are you going on much barzy?
12:50I told you I wouldn't.
12:54All right?
12:56Yeah, yeah, we're great.
12:57Er, Will's just disappointed that I've had to cancel our session,
13:00tomorrow.
13:01Committed, aren't you?
13:02Completely.
13:03Yeah.
13:06Shall we go, then?
13:07Yeah, yeah.
13:08Come on, let's skedaddle.
13:11Bye, Will.
13:12Bye.
13:13I'll, erm...
13:14I'll message you about rescheduling.
13:18Layers.
13:23Hey, who's lazy now?
13:26Well, what do you want, a medal?
13:28Oh, come on.
13:29Don't pretend like you're not impressed.
13:31Oh, I knew you could do it, didn't I?
13:34The physio said he's never seen someone come so far in a session.
13:37Oh, you went to the physio in the end, did you?
13:40Er, yeah.
13:41Yeah, I did.
13:42Hmm.
13:42Was it helpful?
13:44Right, well, you can wipe that look off your face.
13:47Pity the physio didn't teach you to respect your elders.
13:50Well, it's a pity that my elders don't respect me as well.
13:53But, but, I probably shouldn't have spoke to you the way that I did.
14:00Well, I forgive you, all right?
14:01That's settled.
14:02What's for tea?
14:03Well, hang on.
14:06Have I been played here?
14:08Possibly.
14:09I got you to your session there, didn't I?
14:11Er, he went of his own accord.
14:13Oh, course he did.
14:14Course he did.
14:16Listen.
14:18Listen, you was right.
14:19I shall be trying harder.
14:21All right, don't ruin it for yourself.
14:35Straight to the recycling.
14:40What is it?
14:42Er, a few friends and my mum's reached out,
14:48saying how sorry they were.
14:49And I didn't know what to say.
14:53And I know that they wanted some heartfelt thing, but...
14:58You didn't know how?
15:01That made me a bad person.
15:03No.
15:03No, grief, it's...
15:06It's complicated, isn't it?
15:08You deal how you deal.
15:10All the messages just made it real, you know?
15:12Like, that's it.
15:14Like, I'm never going to see her again.
15:16She's gone.
15:18It's done.
15:23She'll be proud of you, you know?
15:25Yeah, right.
15:29Well, following your heart.
15:33Saving your pennies to start a new life with a woman you love.
15:37And a kid.
15:40And we're almost there, aren't we?
15:42Soon we'll be able to buy our tickets.
15:45And leave all our ghosts behind.
15:47Yeah.
15:51Now, you don't sound too keen.
15:53You've not blown all the money, have you?
15:54Of course I haven't.
15:55And I am keen.
15:57It's just...
15:59It's been a weird day, hasn't it?
16:01Yeah, it has.
16:01It does make you think, though.
16:08About the people you love.
16:11You'd do anything for him.
16:14Would you?
16:16What?
16:18Would you do anything for me?
16:20Of course I would.
16:23Abby, I don't know what I'd do without you.
16:25And you won't have to find out?
16:29Because you'd have to try very hard to get rid of me.
16:31Well, the doctor said it was concussion.
16:41And the wound on the back of your head.
16:43That doesn't happen without you noticing, does it?
16:45What's with her tone?
16:46She's in a hospital bed.
16:47You need to know what's going on, Betsy.
16:55What's happened, Mum?
16:59I didn't want to tell you, but...
17:01I was...
17:02I was attacked.
17:06Oh, my God.
17:07It curses lot.
17:12Why wouldn't that be the first thing out of your mouth?
17:14It won't completely freak you out.
17:16It's me thereafter.
17:17You might have told me to do one.
17:18No, of course we wouldn't.
17:20Would we?
17:21No.
17:23Never.
17:24We can't just keep ignoring this.
17:29And you're right.
17:30They've obviously been keeping tabs on you and they clearly know where to find you.
17:33Yeah.
17:34Yeah, we can't just wait around until they do her in.
17:36We need to leave.
17:38Hide out, like, right now.
17:39Right, you panicking isn't helpful.
17:41Yeah, but we've already lost her once.
17:43Don't you think I know that?
17:44I don't want to lose her again, either.
17:46Yeah, then do something.
17:47Betsy, it's all right.
17:49I am going to be all right.
17:52Lisa, I have to go.
17:53I need to go to Spain as soon as.
17:55We should ramp up the guest deals.
18:01People buy more when they think it won't last forever.
18:03Last forever?
18:04Nothing does.
18:05All right, Yoda.
18:07Why don't we try another cocktail night?
18:10Learn from our mistakes.
18:11You mean my mistakes?
18:13I didn't, actually.
18:14This is a learning curve for all of us.
18:17Oh, indeed it is.
18:19All right, what about a luau?
18:21I could do pina coladas, Mai Tais.
18:23I could dust off me coconuts.
18:25Oh, I know.
18:26What about a great Gatsby?
18:28Oh, I love the 1920s, and I make the best flapper.
18:32Just replace the F.
18:34You what?
18:35Oh, it was right there.
18:36I couldn't resist.
18:38Come on, babe.
18:39She's joking.
18:41Of course I am.
18:43Friends?
18:45Yeah.
18:46Right.
18:47Can you two ladies get on?
18:49After all, we're family.
18:55Maybe I've been a bit oversensitive.
18:58But I think Ben's right.
19:00We are family.
19:02And I think if we try hard, we could be so happy here.
19:06My son is soft and forgiving.
19:09Treats that I don't possess.
19:11You aborted my grandchild.
19:14You lied to everyone.
19:16You, lady, will never be my family.
19:20Ah, what can I get you there?
19:22Todd?
19:40Todd, how have you been?
19:41What are you doing?
19:43Your hands are like ice.
19:46You're dripping wet.
19:47Yeah, I, um, I just popped out to get some, um, chips.
19:53I want to have some chips.
19:57Where are they, then?
19:58What?
19:59The chips.
20:00Oh, um...
20:01Todd, your lips are turning blue.
20:03How long have you been out here?
20:05I feel the cold, don't I?
20:07Look, I think you all said you'd had too much to drink.
20:11I did.
20:12No, you'd had one pint at most.
20:15You weren't drunk.
20:16I was.
20:18I saw how he seemed with you when you left.
20:24I, I, um, I'd been insensitive and, um, he called me on it.
20:28That, that, that was all.
20:29So what, he locked you out the flat?
20:32No, of course not.
20:33Well, so then, can you explain to me why you're out here in the freezing cold,
20:36wet through, with no coat on, looking like you've one icy drink away from hypothermia?
20:42And save me the lies about the chips.
20:43All right, yeah, we did have a bit of a tiff at the party.
20:52And then I, I went for a walk just to clear my head.
20:56About what?
20:56None of your business.
21:01All right, I, I, I'll, I'll go back home and everything will be all right.
21:04I, I, he just, he gets a bit, a bit what?
21:10He has certain expectations of a relationship, that's all.
21:22And I'm, you know, I'm like a selfish, inconsiderate.
21:28Kind, loving, loyal.
21:33Feels lucky to have you.
21:37What is he to my flat?
21:40Take it.
21:41For next time.
21:47I've got to get back.
21:48No, Todd.
21:49I've got to get back.
22:19I've got to get back.
Be the first to comment