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Short filmTranscript
00:00I'm divorced and I can't wait to not hold this last name anymore oh my god this year at New York
00:20City Pride I will be performing at a street festival New York City is one of the biggest
00:26prides ever so I just hope that I kill it on stage after all I've been through with my
00:41ex-husband I cannot wait for this celebration I deserve this
00:50you are planning to have a baby with us right oh we have not had the best experience so far we're
01:01trying to get a sense of this new fertility clinic because this is our last shot if this doesn't work
01:06that's it the last surrogate we had we found out some stuff that we didn't like
01:12do you just surround yourself with a horse
01:17Johan she's your girlfriend
01:23you
01:25yeah we got our car you enjoying that corn Kenny
01:41I'm enjoying this corn Armando I see I love it I want to bite it is good I'm Kenny I'm 62
01:50originally from St. Petersburg Florida and I'm Armando I'm 37 and I'm from San Felipe
01:55La Hacienda de Mexico sorry that threw me off I just meant to say I believe it all right this
02:03is one cool building cheers to the building to be in here cheers our 90-day journey began about
02:10eight years ago we met online on a gay father support group and we became fast friends on there
02:16hey how you doing good how are you good I miss you miss you too I came to Mexico to meet up with them
02:26and then we decided that we wanted to be together so I had to pack my whole life up in St. Pete and
02:32decided I'm gonna move to Mexico to be the love of my life
02:36baby
02:37we got engaged really quick as soon as I hit Mexico it was like within a week
02:45and then it took about a year and a half before we got married
02:49and we're more in love and stronger than ever right definitely
03:02do you think you like Mexico as much as you thought you would more or less really I love it
03:11the culture the people everything people are nice I mean the food is as I really come into my own with
03:18Mexican cuisine when I met Armando he had a little daughter who was just four years old at the time
03:25Hannah I had four adult children of my own I even had a four-year-old grandson here you want some hot
03:31dog and about three years ago we decided to expand our family through surrogacy we found an egg donor
03:39then we created some embryos and we found a surrogate as well but after a while we were very unhappy so
03:44we decided to end our relationship with them and our fertility clinic so tomorrow we have a really
03:49important decision to make about our future family is it good yes so good
04:01we're on our way to the new in vitro clinic that we chose it's only like three or four blocks from our house
04:07hello hello Kenny and Armando okay thank you so much we're trying to get a sense of this new
04:27fertility clinic because we want to be confident comfortable with them because this is our last
04:33shot if this doesn't work and we don't feel good about it that's it okay well very nice to meet you
04:40nice to meet you nice to meet you great so I spoke to the dr. Giovanni and he told me that you are
04:49planning to have a baby with us right oh fun helping we have not had the best experience so far
04:56we're on a three-year journey on this the last surrogate we had we really had a connection with
05:02her we had an emotional bond with her we really tried to be involved with her life and let her
05:06involved in our life and then we found out some stuff that we didn't like we don't know how emotionally
05:13involved we want to be with the surrogate this time our hearts took a real beating with our last
05:19surrogate we felt in the dark many times so we decided not to move forward with them
05:24you told me you have six embryos right yeah if you would want to have for example a daughter
05:32or a son boy or girl like choose the sex no we don't want to know um we also don't even know
05:40exactly who the biological dad will be we called it the milkshake like we don't know whose it is
05:46okay it's just going to be the what do you call it luck of the draw look of the draw and see what
05:52happens so okay right now we have all our confidence in you guys and part of us sharing
05:57also some of our story and background is um so you understand well guys remember i'm going to be
06:05with you at every part of the journey thanks to you for giving us this opportunity again and we
06:11won't let you down thank you thank you it was very nice meeting you thank you gabriella's energy and
06:19confidence made us feel really good about this clinic so i'm really excited we're still going to
06:23be cautiously optimistic but i think we may have found our new clinic fingers crossed it's going to work
06:29for us thanks love okay where are we going all right daddy's going to meet us at the park in a few
06:44minutes he had to finish up something at the house can you believe in another year you'll be in high
06:50school yeah that's freaking crazy because you look like a seven-year-old throughout all the bad things we
06:59had been going through with our previous clinic and we didn't let hannah know because we didn't
07:03want to break her heart or stress or worry so she she's not up to date on anything she might even
07:09think we're not moving forward anymore with the process because it's been so long but we want to
07:13talk to her about it and i think now is the right moment to do so yeah all right did you tell her we had
07:23a talk or anything because i know she gets nervous just like me she overthinks when she gets told
07:29we have to talk did you know i haven't said a word to her we were just playing
07:35what are you going to say well it's about having a baby
07:39i mean i was expecting her to maybe jump up and down with joy
08:09that we were still moving forward with having a child i mean it's probably our fault in a way we
08:14were trying to protect her we didn't for the last almost two years really talk about it because we
08:20weren't sure what was going on we were having so many problems and we didn't want to burden her with
08:24all the issues we were having is it is the main thing you just worry that you wouldn't get attention
08:33yeah i i can swear to you and i can promise you and i know your daddy can too that that wouldn't be the
08:42case you know we tried to do this and it didn't work and we thought about trying one more time and if
08:51it doesn't work it doesn't work and then we're just one more time call a day but we want your support in
08:58this too you need time to think about it a little bit yeah it's really hard to see hannah upset like
09:09this i guess we're just gonna have to give it time i mean i do think hannah might warm up to the idea
09:15so we'll just wait and see i love you
09:32today i am going to get a new driver's license so i'm trying to get myself a little bit more dolled
09:39up than normal because it is the picture i have to stare at for the next four years my name is rachel
09:44i am 40 years old and i live in albuquerque new mexico after being married for over seven years
09:50i'm divorced and i could not be more thrilled about that so today i'm going to go make sure that my
09:57driver's license states that and shows that every day for me because i can't wait to not hold this
10:03last name anymore my 90-day journey began almost eight years ago when i met a man named john who lives in
10:12england we met on a karaoke app i thought he was cute i thought he was gorgeous oh hello look at your
10:21hair yeah it's fuller when we decided to become a couple i was pregnant with my daughter lucy from my
10:30previous relationship and we met up in person when my little one lucy was only eight months old
10:37it was magical i almost immediately fell in love with him
10:44my next trip to see him in england six months later we got married like that fast
10:49you are now husband and wife please kiss you gorgeous bride well done
10:58i thought that it would be a happily ever after ending but it was not
11:05i received a message from someone who i knew
11:14she reached out alleging that john cheated on me for seven and a half years
11:22according to her he also sent pics on tinder during this entire time as well
11:28i don't know if it's like 100 certain but i'm confident in in what she's told me so he um
11:36can go down a hole all right it's time
11:49when i officially got my divorce paperwork back this week the first thing i wanted to do after that was
11:56run straight to the dmv and get my last name changed absolutely zero association with my ex-husband
12:03this is the person that i shared a last name with and i could not be more disgusted and quite frankly
12:11disappointed in myself by ignoring all of the red flags for so long my last trip to see him was
12:20by far the worst trip i've ever had the physical touch during that time was few and far between i felt
12:29unattracted and attractive i just didn't realize this bothered me so much
12:43like in hindsight i see it now he's cheating on me the entire time
13:02oh i hate him
13:03i'm so excited to go to the dmv of all places that's a first i've lost 30 pounds so actually
13:15about 270 pounds if we're going to include the dead weight i left back in england
13:19so i'm excited to have a different driver's license pictured but i'm also getting my maiden name back
13:24i'm gonna get me back it's a new chapter in my life and it's gonna be all about me for once okay
13:35i am going in i know that the dmv can be a real pain so i am really hoping that they don't give me
13:42too much trouble with this name change i will beg if that's what it takes
13:46it's me again i'm me again oh my god legitimately like the most exciting feeling
14:07i've had probably better than my marriage
14:10hey little boy want to play a little game want to show us how quick you can turn after fame and
14:16how fast your ex-wife can get rid of your name
14:29out of all the houses that we've seen so far have you been excited about any of them you see
14:32i don't know i want to like a really big room really big room that's the fun part about house
14:42hunting though they're all different during my entire marriage with john i never considered
14:48trying to buy a house because i was waiting for him to come to the united states but he was denied
14:54the first visa and denied again and again because of his criminal past but now that i'm divorced my
15:02god i want a house that i can call my own so that's what i'm doing ready lucy yeah let's go
15:09say hi to shayna oh hi shayna hi good how are you good gonna see you remember shayna yeah hello hi
15:18shayna hi you ready to show me this house i sure am i'm ready to do it all right okay
15:27so as you can see they're doing some renovations to finish to get it ready to go on the market
15:32thing is it a half bath downstairs or just like just the toilet or just just a powder room so
15:38it's a half s toilet and a toilet toilet that's good that's good because i went to a bathroom in
15:43england once with just the toilet and that was weird so that was also on my list you want to pick
15:47a bedroom yeah okay all right let's go
15:52house hunting has proven to be much more stressful than i thought it would be
15:56it's either one i can't afford that i love or one that i can't afford and i don't love but maybe i
16:03am being a little too picky oh a red room wow this is big brown and red room yeah yeah what do you
16:12think uh i like it look at that big window a huge window the sun is setting so you're gonna have lots
16:18of light pouring in okay okay one more to go what else do we have is this the big room will be the
16:25primary bedroom okay big closet are you sure this is in my budget it is in your budget girl
16:35this house is great and if it weren't for my job as a technical specialist i wouldn't be able to afford
16:40this place but thank goodness my job is good and now that i'm free i am more than willing to put my hard
16:46earned money into a brand new home what do you think lucy do you want it yeah are you sure yeah
16:53okay i think i'm finally done getting ready for tonight i'm a little nervous even though i've lost
17:12way and i'm still pretty insecure about the way i look so i'm going to ask carol what she thinks about
17:18my bland outfit with my divorce and now i'm moving into a new home i need a girl celebration
17:25like no one's business carol you want to see my outfit i've been waiting for you my friends are
17:32taking me to a male review show tonight and we're going to make this the most epic divorce celebration
17:40there ever was okay what do you think like is it okay you look gorgeous yeah you look really pretty
17:49you look hot thanks so i kind of want everybody to know that you're available so i got you a little
17:55something i shall announce you queen rachel oh my big car the evening you're being crowned right now
18:04being all right i accept oh wow oh wow and it matches the outfit you look so good i am divorced as
18:19and i cannot wait for this celebration i deserve this
18:29so
18:41thank you for coming should we go find our seats yeah
18:49all right all right ladies if we have anyone recently divorced
18:52we're in the house come on women you need to get you outside here
19:06i am self-imploding right now
19:25this sort of show exceeds all my expectations
19:36this is literally the best night of my life better than my wedding
19:46one thousand percent better than my wedding
19:51this year has already been full of so many amazing surprises i got a divorce i got a house
19:57i got touched by greek gods i feel like life will naturally propel you in the right direction
20:07once you let go of toxicity and the things holding you back and i absolutely cannot wait
20:13wait to continue with the past that i'm on
20:28so
20:38so
20:42Look at this river so cool.
20:45Everything is stuck.
20:49So, it's everything else.
20:52Yeah.
20:55My name is Danielle, I'm 45, and I live in Capcana.
21:07I know this is really surprising,
21:08because the last time you guys saw us,
21:10we were getting a divorce.
21:11But Johan and I decided to work things out.
21:13He was really there for me during a family emergency,
21:16and so I kind of fell in love with him all over again.
21:32I never thought in a million years
21:34that I would be able to look at this face
21:36and not want to punch it.
21:41Let's go, let's go.
21:42Let's go, let's go.
21:43Let's go, let's go.
21:44Let's go, let's go.
21:45Johan and I recently decided to start a business together.
21:50And we wanted to lead excursions for tourists
21:52in Dominican Republic.
21:53So today, we're trying out an ATB tour with our friends.
21:57I first met Johan in 2021 at a resort in Dominican Republic.
22:13I stayed at the hotel, he was a personal trainer,
22:15and I thought he was so irresistible.
22:17And after just five months of dating, we got mad.
22:24I love you.
22:25In our lives together, I know that we wait many good days.
22:37Throughout our time together, Johan and I had a lot of fights
22:40about women that he was in contact with.
22:43He always said that these were just clients from the resort.
22:46The other day, a woman wrote to me on social media
22:49and told me that she has been in a relationship
22:52with my husband for two years,
22:54since a month before we got married.
22:55I started digging more, I went through his computer,
22:58and I found evidence of other women
23:00that he's been in relationships with.
23:02Not.
23:03I was going to file for divorce,
23:05but before I got a chance to, my grandmother passed away.
23:08I was in a really bad place,
23:11and Johan reached out to me,
23:13and he offered me a lot of support.
23:15Even though I was still really angry with him,
23:17he was there for me when I needed him the most.
23:20So, I started talking to Johan again,
23:22and he admitted to cheating on me,
23:24but I felt like he was being more honest with me,
23:27and that made me feel like it was possible
23:30for us to try to fix our marriage.
23:32The truth is, this is going to be a journey,
23:53because, you know, I have to learn how to trust him again.
23:56It's a Rio.
23:58This is a Rio?
23:59Wow!
24:00Wow, we are all right.
24:02Look at this.
24:03Look at this!
24:04See?
24:13Buen dia!
24:15Good morning.
24:17We are so excited.
24:18We're starting our planning for next week's tours.
24:21And my amazing husband is making me tea
24:24making me tea because he's the best in the morning, honestly.
24:28Gracias, amor.
24:54It's still really hard to trust Johan again just because of our past, and so I definitely
25:17don't want him leading a solo tour where women are going to be hitting on him, and I don't
25:22want him to be faced with temptation that he can't resist.
25:52It's really upsetting to see pictures of naked women on my husband's phone, and they could
26:18be from the internet, but they could also be real women who sent them to him.
26:22I feel so betrayed, especially because he knows how triggering this is for me.
26:30Yo necesito un minuto para descansar, estaba mucho, estaba mucho.
26:37¿Vale?
26:38Sí.
26:39Conmigo.
26:40¿Quieres sentir aquí?
26:40Sí, perfecto.
26:41I love you.
26:43I love you.
26:45I love you.
26:47I love you.
26:49I love you.
26:51I love you.
26:53Tranquil.
26:55Like me.
26:57You want to sit back here?
26:59Yes, perfect.
27:01Seeing these photos triggers the trauma from the past.
27:03And it's like I feel like I'm back in that place all over again.
27:07So I've decided that I need to set some clear guidelines for Johan.
27:11And if he's not willing to abide by them,
27:13then this marriage is not going to work.
27:37You need to send me your vocation, always.
27:49Daniel is exaggerating.
27:51And I know that we're trying to work in the relationship.
27:55But I feel like I'm being arrested.
27:57I'm going to get some car.
28:13Get our asses to South Jersey.
28:15Got like a two-hour drive.
28:17So now I'm going to be like the speed demon.
28:21Let's get this going.
28:23I'm Nikki.
28:25I'm 48 years old.
28:27I'm out working in Jersey.
28:29I'm a transsexual singer-songwriter.
28:31And today I'm so excited because it's the first time I'm getting back into the studio
28:39with the Secret Girls, America's first trans pop group that I formed back in 2006.
28:45Five, six, seven, eight.
28:48Five, six, seven, eight.
28:50Five, six, seven, eight.
28:52Five, six, seven, eight.
28:54It's not orgasm workouts, girl.
28:56No, it's...
28:58You have to open your mouth.
29:00So you can...
29:02It's supposed to be like coming from here.
29:04Like that.
29:06Oh, go, Nikki.
29:08Okay, go.
29:09This group took a long hiatus.
29:11But now that I'm single, I want to get back into the studio and get back to work.
29:15I first met Igor in Moldova about 18 years ago.
29:19But things didn't work out.
29:21Then three years ago, we got back together.
29:24We had a beautiful relationship and we decided to get engaged.
29:29We applied for the K-1 visa.
29:31And while we were waiting, I had a random text message from Igor.
29:37Yes, he just sent me a text.
29:40He's telling me like how everything is just...
29:43He's just done.
29:44So he text messaged you, broke up with you in a text message?
29:46Yes, through a text message.
29:47And you don't do that.
29:50That's cold.
29:52Let's go.
29:54I cried many months after the breakup.
29:57I was paralyzed.
29:59I couldn't move.
30:01I couldn't eat.
30:02I couldn't work.
30:03So right now, I just want to focus on myself.
30:06And I just want nothing to do with him.
30:09What's up?
30:10Hello.
30:11Hello, hello.
30:12How are you?
30:13How are you?
30:14Nice to see you.
30:15This is Mr. Mix.
30:17I am.
30:18We are recording our very first Christmas song.
30:21I'm so excited to let the world hear what we have in store.
30:26Tag the halls with bells of hollies.
30:29Fa-la-la-la-la, fa-la-la-la-la.
30:32Tis the season to be jolly.
30:35Fa-la-la-la-la, fa-la-la-la-la-la.
30:38Dawn we now are gay in peril.
30:41Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
30:44Floor the entrance to a tight carol.
30:47Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
30:51This feels so good to finally, like,
30:53get back to what I really love doing
30:55because I lost myself.
30:57Getting back on stage, performing again,
31:00I need that to start rebuilding my self-worth,
31:03self-confidence.
31:04We're back!
31:05We're back!
31:06We're back!
31:07We're back!
31:08We're back!
31:09I need to remind myself who I am again.
31:12So this year at New York City Pride,
31:15I will be performing at a street festival.
31:17I am so excited and nervous at the same time
31:20because New York City is one of the biggest prides ever.
31:25So I just hope that I kill it on stage.
31:27Yeah.
31:28All right.
31:29Sounded good in there.
31:30Come on.
31:31Let's go.
31:32Woo!
31:33Let's go.
31:39Hold on.
31:40We're going to have a girls' day.
31:43It's tomorrow I'm performing for Pride.
31:47Hi.
31:48Oh, you look so pretty.
31:49Thank you, Mom.
31:50You look beautiful.
31:51I love you.
31:52How was the travel?
31:53I love you too.
31:54Terrible.
31:55So my mom has finally arrived to stay with me for Pride.
31:59She came out for my performance.
32:02So I'm really excited.
32:04It's girls' day.
32:06I want to get the skin glowing.
32:08As you can see, I got some bruising.
32:10I know.
32:11I just noticed that.
32:12What's going on with that?
32:13I got my...
32:14What did I tell you?
32:15My touch-up.
32:16Why?
32:17I tell you not to do that before you're going to perform.
32:18But a doll's work is never done.
32:20I needed to get my fillers and Botox.
32:23Duh.
32:24Before the big show, I just want to clear my head, calm my nerves, and have a nice spa day with my mom.
32:31I'm going to whiskey.
32:32Whiskey, whiskey.
32:33Here, whisk this for me.
32:34Okay?
32:35I'm going to go get something to hold your hair back.
32:37Okay, that smells.
32:38I have grown a lot closer with my mother ever since the breakup with Igor.
32:45You look like a salad.
32:47And that's what you're about to look like.
32:50And my mother had to be there for me emotionally and physically.
32:54And she just doesn't want to see me hurt anymore.
32:57I'm truly excited that I'm going to be there for you.
33:00I know that what you went through with Justin was horrible.
33:05Mm-hmm.
33:06And you were in a bad place.
33:07For a long time.
33:08For a long time.
33:09So it's nice to see you happy and following your dream that you always had for singing and going back into what you used to do.
33:15Do not always told you.
33:16Everything happens for a reason.
33:18I just wish it didn't happen like that.
33:20I know.
33:21You know?
33:22It's hard to talk about my ex relationship because, like, I've never been hurt like that.
33:30But I don't want it to let it in my head.
33:34I really need to do this show and just show I can do things on my own and not depend on anybody.
33:43You'll be good.
33:51Nicole, time to get up.
33:53Are you all getting on?
33:55Have a big day.
33:56Time to get up, honey.
33:57Come on.
33:58Come on.
33:59Come on.
34:00Oh, my God.
34:01You're so dark.
34:02I know.
34:03Oh, my goodness.
34:04Look at this.
34:05Look at that pillow.
34:06Thank God you put that on, man.
34:07Today is Pride Day and I am so excited to perform.
34:13My glam squad are going to snatch my face into some amazing perfection.
34:24I am ready to go.
34:25Look at that.
34:26I'm so excited.
34:29I'm so excited.
34:30Nobody's watching what you feel.
34:34Come on, Lila.
34:35We gotta watch my baby girl perform.
34:37Come on.
34:38This is it.
34:39Homestage.
34:40Right now, the gorgeous, the fabulous, Ms. Nikki and Zona Girl!
34:49A lot of you guys know this one.
34:53Here we go.
34:54I'm in the club, there's all nothing myself.
34:56I'm gonna think about nobody else.
34:57Think about nobody else.
34:59I'm coming to get my shine.
35:01See the South boys all in line.
35:03Try to crazy the way I move.
35:05Get down, got nothing to lose.
35:07Follow me all through this club.
35:09Yeah, shake my ass alive.
35:12Thank you so much.
35:14You guys are so beautiful.
35:17All right, let's give it up to the amazing Nikki Exotica.
35:22This performance has helped build me back up,
35:24find my self-esteem again.
35:26And it's given me hope for the future.
35:28I made it through a tough time,
35:30and I definitely want to find love again.
35:32But I will never put any man before my passions.
35:56I recently found pictures of naked women on Johan's phone, and because Johan cheated on me in the past, I'm constantly thinking, like, is he doing the same thing?
36:14Is he doing this all over again?
36:16So if Johan doesn't agree to my rules, we're going to have to end this relationship.
36:32I don't know.
36:34I know that I've done something bad, and that it's going to take a long time to heal, but I don't have any problem.
36:49But you can have things to happen.
36:51You're the same.
36:51You're the same.
36:52You're the same.
36:53I'm the same.
36:54I'm the same.
36:55I'm the same.
36:56I need my husband.
36:57And I have love for you.
36:59I'm the same.
37:25I'm really angry because today I saw Johan on his phone a lot, so I just decided to ask him for it and go through it, and I realized that he had this, like, archived chat in his WhatsApp.
37:37There were all of these conversations with women, but when I went into the chats, all of the conversations were deleted.
37:44So it's very clear that he's having conversations with other women and then deleting them, and you only delete things when you have something to hide.
37:55One of them was a name and a picture of a woman I recognized because he had dated her in the past, and so I decided I was going to text her and figure out what was going on.
38:11But she wouldn't respond to me.
38:19What do you think you did?
38:35You have a list of chats, a list of chats hidden that you've deleted all the messages.
38:41Of my clients, I told you.
38:43Do you think I'm stupid?
38:45Do you think I'm stupid?
38:48When you have a list of conversations, you're not your clients.
38:53Johan, she's not your client.
38:55You're lying to my face.
38:57You are lying to my face.
38:59Yes, she was my partner.
39:01Now, I don't have a girl's house.
39:03Call her.
39:04Call her with your phone.
39:06My Thanks Joan
39:09May for sending you that message I say does not change anything women talk to her.
39:13Wait, I say photor stable I want to see the message.
39:18I can't believe this b***h I can't believe this.
39:23Do you just surround yourself with foars?
39:25I reached out to her and she immediately texted Johan and said your wife just messaged me
39:32what should I tell her to be honest I don't even know how to respond I feel like a fool
39:38Johan she's your girlfriend you have a list of hidden chats and what's that they're all women
39:49she can buy you a new one I just saw the message that you sent him instead of responding to me
40:09you responded to him my husband are you want to tell me the truth you whore
40:19trash when you have a beautiful wife
40:22I just wanted to go
40:34it could be true that all these women in this secret chat that all the messages have been deleted
40:42all clients of his and he's just afraid of me embarrassing him and reaching out to them
40:46then it could be true it could also be true that he's every single one of them and I have to
40:52constantly question which of those things is true can make someone insane it's like it makes me feel
41:00really crazy
41:01I just want him out I want this marriage over
41:12who would have thought your girl is back in love butterflies all of it
41:29hi you look beautiful thank you we've ridden horses a million times
41:35oh I think yours is farting good enjoy
41:40it's a good present your green car
41:44this name here doesn't match with my face most I feel very sad and feeling trapped seeing the
41:54that name Douglas in my green car that doesn't reflect the person that I am now
42:00I think I'm ready to move I can't find myself here anymore what wait a minute
42:10I'm really having a hard time being here now in Mexico City the hustle and bustle of a city is
42:16has gotten to be too much you're kidding right
42:19I have some very big news but I think it's good I don't know I don't know what I'm doing
42:28I have had the incredibly romantic idea of proposing what if I told you that I want to marry
42:36but if my kids tell me like absolutely not I wouldn't be able to do it and that scares at me
42:44I don't know it I don't know it necessarily
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