Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 11
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00:00Wait! No! No, I was tensing up! No! I was tensing up so much! Oh, my God! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!
00:08Shake it off, shake it off. Wait, shake it off, shake it off. Wait, oh, I'm OK. Right, no more tensing!
00:20Her flabbers have been gasted.
00:22You want some of this?
00:24Oh, that is!
00:26Look out!
00:27No! See?
00:28Oh, now there's a controversial statement. The gravy.
00:32Oh!
00:34Yeah!
00:35Do you like this music?
00:36No, not particularly.
00:37So, suck on that!
00:38Oh, wow!
00:40He's been a bad boy!
00:42Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:44Not a chance, do you?
00:45Oh!
00:46Yes, look at that!
00:47He's had an absolute feast!
00:49Oh!
00:50Whoa!
00:51For a banana?
00:52This is insane!
00:54Well, thank God that's over, I've got a take on.
00:57It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
01:01That's very modern, isn't it?
01:03Nothing, no one saw that coming.
01:04No.
01:05In the week a shoplifter was jailed for stealing eight tubs of celebrations, we enjoyed lots of
01:12great telly.
01:13Lee Mack had more common sense questions on ITV.
01:17If Ariana Grande were to reverse her name, which of these would be the result?
01:22Oh, she's married and she goes up with that fella.
01:26I can't think of his name now.
01:28Not Beaver.
01:29Ooh!
01:30Justin Beaver!
01:31Justin Beaver!
01:32Justin Beaver!
01:33Justin Beaver!
01:34Justin Beaver!
01:35Ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:37Oh.
01:38What's his name then?
01:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:43Disney Plus had wheeled out the big guns.
01:46Hi.
01:47You're late.
01:48Oh shit.
01:49What did I forget?
01:50Baby, I'm sorry.
01:51Are you really telling me you don't know what today is?
01:53I mean, I could look like that if I could be arsed.
01:57Yeah.
01:58We just do it so that we don't intimidate other women, don't we?
02:02We don't want to show anybody else up if we did, you know, daily working out and extreme
02:08healthy diet, full glam squad every day.
02:12I couldn't be arsed sitting there and having my hair and make-up done.
02:15Oh, I couldn't.
02:16It'd be too much effort.
02:17It would.
02:19I'd rather slob around in bobbly tracksuit bombs.
02:22Ha, ha, ha.
02:23And Salems had been let loose in Central America on BBC One.
02:28To get there, teams could head for the Caribbean, taking advantage of the well-trodden but expensive
02:34tourist routes in southern Belize.
02:36This is the favourite destination for the Gap Yarn, I think.
02:40Do you remember?
02:41Which country?
02:42All the people from England on the Gap Yarns, they all meet on some remote beach in South
02:48America and they say it's really weird that they've met each other on this beach.
02:53What a coincidence.
02:54What an incredible coincidence.
02:56I'm sorry.
03:05I got mum's nose.
03:06No, you didn't.
03:07Cute little button nose.
03:08I definitely got mum's nose.
03:09Look at it.
03:10Look at it.
03:11Look at it.
03:12Sarah, her husband Andre and their daughter Shay.
03:16No, but my nose just looked like...
03:18I don't have this dip thing in the middle.
03:20That comes after 30.
03:25Wait, that's a bit too soon for my liking, you know?
03:27Wait, wait, wait, wait.
03:28I've only got four years.
03:30Enjoy it while it lasts.
03:31I used to watch it in the mirror and it starts, I'd be like, what's happening here?
03:36On Saturday night, there was more brain-teasing action on ITV1.
03:41Have you ever been a member of a club or something?
03:43Oh, yeah.
03:44Have you?
03:46I'm a member of the ukulele club.
03:48Well, of course you are.
03:49I never thought of that.
03:50Yes.
03:51Uh-huh.
03:52Well, I might as well try to be part of the 1% club because I'm not part of the running
03:55club anymore.
03:56No.
03:57You're part of the quiz club.
03:58Neither are you.
03:59Let's play the 1% club.
04:04My favourite, um, quizzy type thing is Spot the Difference.
04:10I'm not bad at Spot the Difference, Simon.
04:14Really?
04:15Very rarely.
04:16Very rarely.
04:17I don't know why it's so funny.
04:18You're Spot the Difference for kids.
04:20It's...
04:21They make it very difficult these days.
04:23Seriously.
04:24It is time for the 30% question.
04:27Oh, 30.
04:28That's where it gets that little bit difficult-er.
04:33If a blue car stopped suddenly...
04:35Oh, too many words.
04:36And a yellow car behind crashes into the back of the blue car.
04:39This is what I can't do.
04:41And a green car crashes into the back of the yellow car.
04:44And a black car crashes into the back of the green car.
04:47Uh-huh.
04:48How many bumpers, front and back, will have been hit in total?
04:52Half of...
04:53What?
04:58So, it would be however many car times two take away two.
05:01Yes.
05:02Yes.
05:03Four cars.
05:04Take away two.
05:05So, eight.
05:06Take away two.
05:07Six.
05:08I'm gonna say six.
05:09Six.
05:10Ten.
05:11Fuck.
05:12That's hard.
05:13I'm going for 14.
05:14That's wrong.
05:15You can copy off me if you want.
05:17No.
05:18Okay.
05:19I'm gonna go for five.
05:20I'm going for five.
05:21Not even an even number.
05:22Are you okay?
05:30It's not Squid Games.
05:3521.
05:36It's 22.
05:37We're here in a minute.
05:38Let's have a look at the answer.
05:40It's six.
05:41Ah!
05:42I got it!
05:43Fuck yeah!
05:44What did you get?
05:45Nothing.
05:46Some odd number.
05:49It's now time for the 15% question.
05:5215.
05:53Holy shit.
05:55What flower is represented here?
05:57Now, you'll be good at this.
05:58Flowers.
05:59Right, I took my eye out of this.
06:0030 seconds starts now.
06:01That's it?
06:02Eh?
06:03That's all they're giving you.
06:07What flower?
06:08I can't see a flower.
06:10Where's the flower?
06:12Point setter.
06:13Point.
06:14And that's a set, maybe?
06:16Or an arrow.
06:17Just...
06:18What flower do you know called an arrow?
06:20It's a table.
06:21It's a table.
06:22Arrow table.
06:23Right...
06:24Right...
06:25Right...
06:26Where is that?
06:27Rhododendron.
06:31Rose?
06:32Direct...
06:33What?
06:34Rose?
06:35Rose!
06:36Oh!
06:37Hey!
06:38Clever clogs.
06:42Too late.
06:43Point setter.
06:44Are we going for point setter?
06:45Yeah.
06:46OK.
06:47Let's have a look at the answer.
06:48It's Rose.
06:49Rose!
06:50You should have got that.
06:51If anybody knows about rows and columns, it's you.
06:53You see, we've got a bit of a brain between us, haven't we?
06:56Problem is, maybe my brain's too complex.
06:58You were out at 30%.
06:59OK.
07:00I got to 50.
07:01I nearly said Rose.
07:03You were out.
07:04After whittling down the contestants here in the studio, we are left with the 1% question.
07:09Oh, God, this'll be ad.
07:11Diana celebrated her 83rd birthday yesterday.
07:14OK.
07:15If she was gifted new balloons for every birthday she has celebrated, how many number three balloons would she have received?
07:23Oh, blimey.
07:253, 13, 23.
07:26Well, you're not doing that.
07:27I'm fucking halfway through here.
07:32What's your answer?
07:3330.
07:34Aye, but hang on.
07:35There's in-betweens as well, you dick.
07:379?
07:38Have I missed something massive there?
07:40I think you might be right.
07:4110.
07:42It's not 10, because you'd have 10 for 30 alone.
07:45All her 30s.
07:46How?
07:47Oh, shit, yeah.
07:4840, 50, 60, 70.
07:53Another four.
07:5418.
07:55But 19, because 33, she gets two threes.
07:5738.
07:5839.
07:5939.
08:0019!
08:0119!
08:02Well done, Diana.
08:05Are we about to be in the 1%?
08:07Whoop, whoop, whoop.
08:08Jack, what's your answer?
08:09Eight.
08:10Oh, Jack!
08:11Oh.
08:12Silly twat.
08:13You silly get.
08:14Roisin?
08:15I put 20.
08:16I just changed it from 19, and now I'm not sure.
08:19Oh!
08:20Well, hang on, she might be right, she might be wrong.
08:21She might be right.
08:22Yeah.
08:23I'm slightly arrogant.
08:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:25Right.
08:26Let's have a look at the answer.
08:27Oh, my God.
08:28It's 19.
08:33Yes!
08:34No way!
08:35Yes, yes, yes!
08:36Oh, my God!
08:37Fuck yeah!
08:3819.
08:39Oh, I forgot the 30s completely.
08:41It's 19.
08:4219.
08:43Oh, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 35, 35.
08:47Oh!
08:48Me, yet again, in the 1% club.
08:50Nailed every question.
08:51So?
08:52Apart from the Rose one, which was a bit fucking stupid, if you ask me.
08:55Which is actually your job.
08:57This is what I'm saying.
08:58You know, it's all well and good going,
09:00uh, I can't have anyone to think.
09:01You can't even answer questions on your own job, Soph.
09:06You know, get in the real world, eh, cocky.
09:08In Wiltshire.
09:09I don't know what it is about you, but when you have a bonfire, you think, you're so short-sighted.
09:18You think, Leslie, it'd be nice to see a blaze.
09:21So you'd burn things that were valuable just to see a blaze.
09:24Giles and his wife, Mary.
09:26I burnt the LaRousse Encyclopedia of Modern Art, Nutty.
09:31Oh, did you really?
09:33Because it was...
09:34OK, I lost.
09:35Oh, no, I'm joking.
09:36I didn't.
09:37I kept it.
09:38But I was thinking of burning it because it was so big and no one ever looked at it.
09:43But you are so big and no one ever looks at you.
09:46It's time you went on a bonfire.
09:48Oh, Mary.
09:49You've got to keep it light.
09:51Keep it light.
09:53How can I when you're provoking me beyond endurance?
09:57It's just as well I've got my own life.
10:00Otherwise, you'd be gaslighting me and that sort of thing, wouldn't you?
10:10On Thursday, it was backpacks at dawn as the celebrity racers cracked on on the BBC.
10:16Yeah, I mean, I do pretty well, let's face it, I've been to 59 countries.
10:19Yeah, and almost got arrested in 58 of them.
10:22No, I did not.
10:23I've only been arrested in a few of them.
10:25Not that many at all.
10:29We'll be doing that tomorrow.
10:31Racing across to Wales.
10:33It's not quite the world, is it, love?
10:35No, but it's away from home.
10:36Going over the Seven Bridge.
10:38Don't have to pay for it anymore.
10:40No toll.
10:41Or even better.
10:42Setting off in the lead.
10:43Buenos dias.
10:44Buenos dias.
10:45Que tal?
10:46Anita and Bal are first to find out where they're heading next.
10:49Anita and Bal are nearly a whole day ahead of everyone else.
10:53Your second checkpoint is El Zonte.
10:55Oh, God, El Zonte, who's heard of that? None of them, I expect.
10:58For safety reasons, travel after dark is not allowed.
11:02Travel after dark is not allowed.
11:04That's serious business, you know?
11:06This is quite dangerous.
11:07I've never thought everyone across the world would be that dangerous,
11:09but that's quite dangerous.
11:11Across this region of Central America, increased trafficking and crime at night.
11:16I wouldn't go somewhere where there was trafficking, no.
11:20What's trafficking exactly again?
11:22940 kilometres to the south, El Zonte and El Salvador.
11:27Oh, no.
11:28You don't want to be going to El Salvador.
11:30Ooh.
11:31That's not good.
11:32Teams could head for the Caribbean.
11:33Ooh!
11:34That's a piece of me that is there.
11:36Yeah, I'm taking that route.
11:37Alternatively, they may choose to stay in Guatemala.
11:40Guatemala.
11:41Guatemala?
11:42Isn't that something to eat?
11:43What?
11:44You're thinking of guacamole.
11:45Oh, yeah, I am.
11:47You choose, you choose.
11:48Come on.
11:49We've come to Guatemala.
11:50Yeah.
11:51And we're then jumping back out of Guatemala without seeing nothing so far.
11:53Yeah, no, no, let's stick to Guatemala.
11:55I think we've made our decision.
11:56Stick with Guatemala.
11:57Yes!
11:58Yes!
11:59Good idea.
12:00Right, Coburn, yeah?
12:01Yeah.
12:02Oh, 644 for the bus.
12:07Erm, why are we stopping here?
12:10What, the strapping fire?
12:11Yes, I'm stopping in.
12:12Trafficking.
12:13Does everybody come off here?
12:14Why are you jumping straight to that?
12:17The road is closed because they're courtesy.
12:19Oh.
12:20Oh, no, they're going to lose time now.
12:22No!
12:23It's a three-day protest and no one can find so we have to walk.
12:27Oh, that's not ideal.
12:28A three-day protest, that's quite slightly ridiculous.
12:31It's like the French.
12:32Oh, yeah, we could be in France.
12:34Manifestation.
12:35Hang on, what are all these guys doing?
12:37Is this the protest?
12:38Right, where do we get to Coburn?
12:40How do we get there?
12:41Is that the roadblock?
12:42Yeah, that's the roadblock.
12:43Oh, they drove over that?
12:45They could get the bus over that easy.
12:47I've parked my car over worse on the school road.
12:50I just hope there is a bus.
12:51What if there isn't a bus?
12:54Then what?
12:55Maybe we could hitchhike.
12:57That sounds safe in Guatemala.
12:59You'd pick them up as well.
13:00Yeah.
13:01I love them.
13:02I love picking up people.
13:03So bizarre.
13:04Having navigated their way through the protest,
13:06Anita and Bal are spending the night
13:08in the Guatemalan highlands.
13:10They don't want to be out there on a night.
13:11They've been warned about that.
13:13Basically, I need to leave really early in the morning.
13:166am.
13:19Tomorrow, you can't pass in principal roads.
13:22Oh, tomorrow's the same.
13:23You can't pass in principal roads.
13:25So nobody can drive tomorrow?
13:27No.
13:28What?
13:29They can't do anything?
13:30They're stuck.
13:31Oh, in the whole of Guatemala.
13:33Shit, they should have gone the other route.
13:35What if it goes on for days?
13:37What happens then?
13:38Is the race over for us?
13:40Have a pina colada.
13:41I don't know.
13:43Like, fuck it out, Anita.
13:44Yeah, she's different.
13:45Yeah, great.
13:46No, she's very competitive by the looks of it.
13:48Like, come on.
13:49Calm down.
13:50Even though I'm not that competitive.
13:51After an extended stay in Guatemala,
13:54the teams had made it to the checkpoint town.
13:57Oh, we've got one.
13:58Oh, we've got one.
14:00They're all descending on El Zante now.
14:03Head west on the beach.
14:05And locate the bird carved into rock.
14:08There.
14:09That's a bird carved into a rock there.
14:11There.
14:12See that bird?
14:13Yeah, there.
14:14There it is.
14:15There it is.
14:16That must be our hotel.
14:17Come on, Dad.
14:18Go on.
14:19That's how close they are.
14:20Well, Anita's dad's not running anywhere.
14:22There.
14:23I see it.
14:24You see it?
14:25Oh, yeah.
14:26We've got to get up.
14:27They're all there.
14:28They've seen it too, haven't they?
14:29Who's going to get there?
14:31It's locked.
14:32Oh, it's locked.
14:33It's locked.
14:34You're going to have to jib your dad over the wall.
14:36Try it there.
14:37Is this it?
14:38Come on, then.
14:39Who's turning that page over there?
14:40The checkpoint's up there.
14:41Look.
14:42Oh, my God!
14:43Who's done it?
14:44There's the hotel.
14:45There's the book.
14:46Hola.
14:47Hola.
14:48Welcome to El Zante.
14:49Hola.
14:50Where is the red book we signed?
14:51Exactly.
14:52Are we the first?
14:53Oh!
14:54Yes!
14:55Anita and Val!
14:57Oh, they've done it.
14:58They're first.
14:59Bravo.
15:00Well done.
15:01No way.
15:02That's sweet.
15:03Getting on so well with your father.
15:05Do you think they'd let us take Perkins?
15:07Yeah, I mean, I think Perkins going would be good because we could use him as bait.
15:12People would think he's so cute.
15:13You're going to use our dog as bait?
15:14Well, like, as an emotional bait.
15:16We're not pimping him out.
15:17We are totally pimping him out.
15:19Well, mate, you can stroke my dog if you drive me cheaper.
15:22Less dinero, please.
15:25Pat my dog.
15:26In Durham.
15:27I had to do this FODMAP diet to try and find out what foods were irritating my stomach.
15:40And one of the things you have to eat is gluten-free bread.
15:43The price of gluten-free bread for a loaf of bread?
15:46Four pound.
15:47Four pound?
15:48Best friends Abby and Jarja.
15:51Me uncle said you can get it from the chemist.
15:53I said, I'm not buying, I'm not getting bread from the chemist.
15:57What?
15:58Me uncle said, oh, you can get the bread from the chemist.
16:03No, you cannot.
16:04I said, gluten-free bread from the chemist.
16:06I don't know if he was having us on or not.
16:09But apparently you can get gluten-free bread from the chemist.
16:12I said, I'm not going to the fucking chemist asking for bread.
16:18On Tuesday night, adolescents were at it in the kitchen on E4.
16:22Come down with me, teens.
16:24What are they all going to be making?
16:25Pot noodles, cereal, toast.
16:27When you see a teenager that can cook, yeah,
16:29I've got to give them props because I'll tell you something.
16:32I don't know many.
16:33Definitely not mine.
16:34You might learn something from these teenagers, Steve.
16:37So keep watching.
16:43I'm not wearing funny patterns.
16:44If you shaved your beard off, you could probably apply for this.
16:47I think I'd look too, you ought to be honest.
16:49One thing I've managed to achieve over these last 30 years, 40 years.
16:54Now, how long have we been here? Nearly 40 years.
16:56Charles.
16:57Is we've managed to abolish the dinner party.
17:00No, because I have them in London with glittering people.
17:04It's the second day of the teen cooking competition in and around Manchester.
17:09Big up the big end city.
17:11And today it's fitness fan Ben's turn.
17:13Oh God, he'll give everyone protein shakes.
17:15Oh, we know what he's having. Chicken.
17:18To fire up his folks' stove and host his first ever dinner party.
17:22Did you ever have a dinner party at that age?
17:24Not at that age, no.
17:25Crikey.
17:26Double oven, Ellie.
17:27The dream.
17:29Everything on the menu is something I've loved since from the ages of three, four, six.
17:33Everything just...
17:34Oh, I just love it.
17:35What about five?
17:36What happened to five?
17:37Five was the lost year.
17:38We don't talk about that.
17:40On to the starter.
17:41Tomato bruschetta.
17:43Well, that's quite easy.
17:44Why are teenagers making bruschetta?
17:47Bruschetta.
17:48I didn't even know what fucking bruschetta was when I was a young man.
17:50I think the only thing we got to bruschetta was bread and jam.
17:54Finn starts the process by chopping up onions.
17:57What I don't like about chopping up vegetables and stuff is that they move too much.
18:01I've actually never chopped an onion.
18:03I'm not making my own bread because I don't actually trust my abilities to make my own bread, to be honest.
18:07It takes a lot more effort for it to just be like mid.
18:10Mid.
18:11Let's give a mid.
18:13Mid, Jane.
18:14No-one wants mid, do they?
18:15No way, man.
18:16No way, bud.
18:17Dessert, please.
18:18Eat and mess.
18:19Oh, God.
18:20I hate eat and mess.
18:21It's my favourite.
18:22Oh, God.
18:23I love an eat and mess.
18:24Everyone pretends they like eat and mess.
18:26You're all lying.
18:27I'm not pretending.
18:28I love eat and mess.
18:29Finn starts by getting eggs for the meringue.
18:31Let's get them out of the egg cupboard.
18:32Look at that.
18:33Egg cupboard?
18:34You've got chickens and you don't even have as many eggs as they do.
18:36The whites are separated into a big bowl.
18:39OK.
18:40Yes, that's it.
18:41I've never tried cracking an egg.
18:43I wouldn't want you to try and crack an egg not until you've got your own kitchen.
18:47I've got a bit of shell in there.
18:48Oopsie.
18:49Oh, he's bollocks that up.
18:50Is it kind of annoying?
18:51Oh, not the fingers in the egg.
18:53His fingers just been up his nose or in his tracky bottoms or down his pants.
18:57Pesky shell removed.
18:58He whisks his egg whites, adds sugar and then whisks again.
19:03Listen, I don't even know how to make meringue now.
19:06I just buy it.
19:07Soft peaks you want.
19:08Stiff peaks.
19:09Or stiff peaks.
19:10I think it's that one.
19:11I don't even know.
19:12A hundred and six.
19:14That's a common one.
19:16I can't remember how to use the oven.
19:18OK.
19:19I've never used the oven.
19:20I bet he knows how to use the microwave.
19:22Yeah.
19:23Mum.
19:24Oh, dear.
19:25Mum.
19:27Right, that's on.
19:28Yeah.
19:29Now you need your temperature, yeah?
19:30Yeah.
19:31This is charm, this.
19:32I forgot, Mum.
19:33I forgot.
19:34What do I do again?
19:35Winch knobs.
19:37I don't know what that is.
19:38Oh, look at them.
19:39What is all this bit, though?
19:41Only one thing for it.
19:42Mum.
19:43Mum.
19:44He's such a teenager.
19:45Mum.
19:46You might just have to try a little bit.
19:48Ready?
19:49Oh, Christy.
19:50Here comes the airplane.
19:51Whee!
19:56Oh, and he's on telly and all.
19:58So this is my style, tomato bruschetta.
20:00Oh, yeah, it's quite good.
20:01I love this, so hope you all enjoy.
20:04What type of bread is it?
20:05It's just sourdough.
20:06Just sourdough bread from the shop.
20:07He could have got a bit of chia batter
20:10to make it more sort of Italian.
20:13Look at you, chia batter.
20:14I know.
20:15You can have this if you want.
20:16Go on.
20:17Yeah, go on.
20:18Do you want this as well?
20:19Yeah, go on.
20:20Go!
20:21Bang!
20:22You can't finish your guests' leftovers.
20:25At least take them into the kitchen and finish it.
20:27Yeah.
20:29So the starter went down really well.
20:32Ben's wolf.
20:33Yeah, yeah.
20:34Eat it like a true teenage boy.
20:35He loves a bruschetta.
20:37Five empty plates.
20:38They're only empty, mate, because you emptied them.
20:40It's time to get eaten, Messi.
20:43Right, there's only one way to crush these.
20:49He's fisting them around.
20:50There you go.
20:51Ooh.
20:52This is EMS.
20:53There we go.
20:54There was meant to be a few raspberries on the side,
20:56but I ate them all for lunch.
20:57LAUGHTER
20:58I go to dinner parties, but I don't host them.
21:02When the fuck do you go to dinner parties, like?
21:04When I go to my mum's for tea.
21:06That's close as a dinner party.
21:08All I can do is play them back in my mind and think what a nightmare they were.
21:13Well, it was only because the last one you gave, you came in with soily fingers
21:17and you'd twirled roasted nuts round in a bowl in front of the people
21:21and then offered them.
21:22And they said, no, Charles, your hands are dirty.
21:24I seem to remember I'd lost my carving knife, so I just pulled the flesh off the bird
21:28and plopped it onto their plates and they weren't very impressed.
21:31No.
21:35He leaps.
21:36Right, Izzy, I've got the bodysuit on.
21:38Let's have a look, Gwen.
21:39That I wanted to borrow off you to wear for my Christmas do.
21:42Well, you can have it. I don't want it back.
21:44Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
21:47Oh, my God.
21:50You can't wear it with no bra.
21:52You've got to wear a bra with it.
21:54You don't take your bra off.
21:56I've realised that, you know.
21:58You've realised that now.
22:00You need a black bra to go under it.
22:02Chuffing Ellie off someone's eye out.
22:05Don't offer much support.
22:06No.
22:07It don't offer any support.
22:09Saggy Maggies are us.
22:11Saggy Maggies on top.
22:13I mean, I didn't feel too bad about my boobs until I put this on.
22:17Bloody hell, you couldn't go out and that you'd trip over.
22:20This week, reality show royalty was giving it a good go on Disney+.
22:25Hello.
22:26Come on, Katsley.
22:27Do you want to see Kim Kardashian attempting to act?
22:31Are you a Kim Tae fan, Dad?
22:32I mean, look, two hands in the air, yes.
22:34What?
22:36What?
22:37All these women used to work for another practice.
22:42Ah.
22:43But then they thought, no, we'll do our own.
22:45Oh, that's all right.
22:46So it's an all women.
22:48Good on you.
22:49Lawyer.
22:50You know, for divorces and all like that.
22:51Yeah.
22:52Oh.
22:53Kim will be finding this the divorces she's had.
22:55Yeah, baby, come on.
22:56Ahem.
22:57That's Kim's husband, Chase.
22:58Looks like she's made an effort.
23:02Hi.
23:03Hi.
23:04Hello.
23:05Hi.
23:06You're late.
23:07Oh, shit.
23:08What did I forget?
23:09It's our anniversary, isn't it?
23:10Oh, they're always men are always in trouble, aren't they, Mary?
23:13It's our anniversary, Chase.
23:14Fuck me.
23:15Raw.
23:16Baby.
23:17Oh, Jesus.
23:18Not a good one.
23:19Yep.
23:20And the penny drops.
23:21Yep.
23:22Baby, I hate myself.
23:23The fact that he keeps calling a baby makes me want to throw up.
23:24Yeah, and he's just said that he hates himself.
23:25And his trousers are too tight and all.
23:26We're not giving you this.
23:27This morning.
23:28Oh, he's crazy.
23:29Cool.
23:30The old forgot-the-anniversary aunt really forgot the anniversary.
23:32Pulled out a little blue box.
23:34Look at the size of that whopper.
23:35Happy anniversary.
23:36Oh, I'm sorry.
23:37I'm sorry.
23:38I'm sorry.
23:39I'm sorry.
23:40I'm sorry.
23:41I'm sorry.
23:42I'm sorry.
23:43I'm sorry.
23:44I'm sorry.
23:45I'm sorry.
23:46I'm sorry.
23:47I'm sorry.
23:48I'm sorry.
23:49I'm sorry.
23:50I'm sorry.
23:51The eyes are that whopper.
23:52Happy anniversary, baby.
23:54Come to daddy.
23:55Oh!
23:56Oh!
23:57Oh, God!
23:58No, he didn't just say that!
24:01Turn it off.
24:06Oh.
24:07Look at him, both hands on her arse.
24:09Bloody hell, Auntie Margaret won't like this.
24:11She'd call it soft porn.
24:12This is great, this show, isn't it?
24:14Come to daddy.
24:15Miss Allure is not the only one celebrating an anniversary this week.
24:20This is Kim's fancy lawyer office.
24:21Oh, gosh.
24:22To our next client.
24:23Let's review her case, shall we?
24:24Right.
24:25What have we got?
24:26What did Danielle do this time?
24:27Milan, you're still taking the bar this spring?
24:28Yes.
24:29Tiana Taylor!
24:30Sit in.
24:31You're one of the girls now.
24:32Come on.
24:33That's Milan.
24:34That's Kim K's assistant.
24:35Look at that walk.
24:36What?
24:37I can still...
24:38I can still email you...
24:39On me.
24:40No, Whitman.
24:41I can still smell you on me.
24:42Oh!
24:43Oh!
24:44Achas Toa's Cheese.
24:45Hey, that's her husband!
24:51I'm making your favourite drink.
24:57What's with the overnight bag?
24:58Is there a game I didn't know about?
24:59Hey, that's her husband!
25:02I'm making your favourite drink.
25:06What's with the overnight bag? Is there a game I didn't know about?
25:09I think you'd add a stroke if you let against the wall like that, George, with your gym bag.
25:13What, your vest on?
25:16Can we sit down and talk?
25:18Oh, no.
25:19He's breaking up with her.
25:21He's definitely put an orange down there or something.
25:30You would, wouldn't you?
25:31Sassy. Too sassy.
25:34A couple of easy peelers down there.
25:38I can't fucking breathe in this perfect house with these perfect paintings.
25:41Oh, I bet this cuts deep because I bet this was what Kanye was saying.
25:46It is a bit much, isn't it? He wants a bit of clutter, doesn't he?
25:49Talk to me. Are you just having a bad day or something?
25:52No, it's a bit more than that, Kim. I'm sorry, love.
25:55I know.
25:56I'm fucked off.
25:57Come on, Laura, I'm drowning here with you.
25:59What are you talking about? You're famous.
26:01What are you talking about? There's too much of it.
26:04I get it. You're famous. What are you talking about?
26:07Next to you, I feel hopelessly and ridiculously small.
26:10That's not on me, that's on you.
26:12Tell him!
26:13Tell him!
26:14It's obviously because she's a very powerful woman that he feels inferior.
26:17Whereas, you know, for me, I'd just ride the gravy train.
26:25Where's Chase going now?
26:29Oh, oh, oh!
26:30Oh, hello.
26:32Oh, he's come to see her!
26:34Oh, hey! Come to sexy time!
26:37Don't look, Simon. It's going to be a hot sexy scene.
26:39Think she knows?
26:40Not yet.
26:41Oh, we can lift it up.
26:42Oh, we can.
26:43She's going to make our mission in now.
26:44Oh, oh!
26:45Mm!
26:46Ross!
26:47This is awkward!
26:48All's fair in love and war.
26:49All's fair in love and war.
26:50All's fair in love and war.
26:51Now get your plonker out.
26:52You said the title as well, did you see that?
26:53Yeah, very clever writing.
26:54Jesus.
26:55After finding out the identity of Chase's bit on the side...
26:56Milan.
26:57Milan.
26:58Oh, is that angry? Is that happy? Is that sad? Who the fuck is it?
27:02All's fair in love and war?
27:03All's fair in love and war?
27:04All's fair in love and war.
27:05All's fair in love and war, now get your plonker out.
27:07You said the title as well, did you see that?
27:08Yeah, very clever writing.
27:09Jesus.
27:10After finding out the identity of Chase's bit on the side...
27:13Milan.
27:15Milan?
27:16Oh, is that angry? Is that happy? Is that sad? Who the fuck is it?
27:20Kim had got changed to go and confront her.
27:24I worship you and I need you to know that.
27:25I am fucking kidding!
27:27Why are you having it off with me husband then?
27:28So you did this because you want to be me?
27:31me. Everybody wants you. I don't want to be her. Oh, boo-woo. Get your own husband, you
27:38slag. Allura, I'm so sorry. No, you're not. What's at the centre of it? Ask the question.
27:46What's the question? I'm not following. What? Question. Is it his? Is it his? Is what
27:56his? She's not having a baby, is she? And the answer is. Oh, my God. I'm with child. Yes, it
28:16is. Olly. No. That was the best bit of acting she did. That was the only good bit.
28:26Her face moved. Yeah. Her face moved. I definitely saw it move. It did move. Yeah. Her eyebrow
28:33went like that. That was fucking terrible, to be fair. No. No. Let's have it right. It's
28:39that bad. It's good. No, it's actually that bad. It's that bad. It's bad. Really bad.
28:45In Blackpool, you'll never guess what. What? Me and Paige were sat right, going through
28:58our credit card statement, because we've got a joint credit card account. Yeah. Anyway,
29:03Paige was going, oh, haven't you spent a lot this month? Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
29:08Oh, you've been to home bargains and all this. I went, that doesn't make sense. Anyway,
29:14it turns out she's had my card and I've had hers. She's been to home bargains. Yeah. Definitely
29:22not. I thought my card had been cloned. On Friday, it was the world's richest man making headlines
29:29on the BBC. So, with you? Bit crispy, aren't they? What? These custards. They're not custards.
29:36It's a pastel donata. You know I don't like foreign food, do you, eh? The boss of Tesla,
29:43Elon Musk, has had a record-breaking pay package agreed by the company's shareholders. He's
29:48got the Midas touch, this man. Oh, yeah. Would you snog Elon Musk for free, Tesla? How long's
29:54the snog? One minute. Ooh, that's a bit long, but I'd probably do it for a Tessie.
29:59The deal could be worth nearly one trillion dollars. What? One trillion dollars? That's
30:06insane. That's not real money. That's one trillion a number, like.
30:12Elon Musk arriving in his own style to thank shareholders for this latest vote of confidence.
30:18Oh, look, he's grooving. I haven't seen anyone grooving like that since Theresa May.
30:23His dance partner, Optimus. Those bots are just dancing. There are no wires.
30:28Is that the robot there, throwing sheeps? Yeah. Oh, darling, that looks like you dancing.
30:32It does, but that's slightly better than me. Yeah.
30:34It has more rhythm. It does have more rhythm. Could these autonomous robots be the factory
30:39workers of the future and helping hands in our homes?
30:42If that walked in my house and started doing things, I'd say, get out, you little fucker. Honestly,
30:48that is not for me. They're not walking very fast, are they? No, they're not. I'm saying nothing
30:54nasty about these guys. They're going to be our overlords soon. Exactly, yeah. Just stay nice
30:58with them. This pay package amounts to one trillion dollars over a ten-year period.
31:04She's a lot of knots there, Julie. I've never known what a trillion looks like. That's what
31:09a trillion looks like. Yeah, I mean, there's me getting worried about the price of gluten-free
31:13bread. He's a fucking trillionaire. That's one followed by 12 zeros. That's ridiculous.
31:2012 zeros? I'd still do people's hair if I had that much money. Liar. You don't want to
31:25do people's hair for money. That's your job now. It's about the annual output of Switzerland.
31:31So, theoretically, he's earning more than a country. How could one person get that for
31:36his company, but certain countries ain't even worth that? This is how the world works now.
31:41This is how it works. The greedy bastard.
31:47In Leeds... So, what are you up to this week, anyway? Tomorrow. It's tattoo day. Are you doing
31:52it? I'm doing it. Do you know what? I'm going to be honest. I thought you were the chicken
31:55now. Me too. Still mine. There's still time. Best friends Danielle and Danielle.
32:01I may have heard, or you may have said in a conversation, that there was a fit tattoo
32:05artist there. There is a fit tattoo artist there. Right up your street as well.
32:12This week, the pressure was on with more high-stakes playground games on Netflix.
32:18Then there's a kiss on its own. Yeah.
32:20She's been drinking toilet water. There she has. Now, that reminds me, Mary. I'm going
32:25to buy a tracksuit next week, and I'm hoping to buy it from the central aisle of a well-known
32:33German supermarket. If you buy a tracksuit, I'll go for power of attorney.
32:39What I'm trying not to do is binge this. Yeah. It does ruin it. It doesn't say it when you
32:44binge it all. I'm trying to do slowly, slowly, but then you always get some bastard giving
32:49your spoilers. Yeah. Welcome to your second game. Oh, shh. This is it. This is it. Let's
32:54find out. The game you will be playing is catch. He's going, yes, I'm good at catch. I'm good
33:01at catch. Oh, Jesus. I am. You're good at everything, Sian. If this is about catching and you're
33:08involved, I'm stressed. I'm obviously not the best catcher in the world. I've seen you catch.
33:14I've seen you throw. It gave me the ick. A thrower will stand on the center spot and
33:19throw the ball to someone at the front of one of the lines. It sounds too simple, really.
33:23It can't be that easy. That's straightforward. You want to be at the front of this game to
33:27catch the ball. 100%. And it's closest, and you're guaranteed to go through. Yeah. If the
33:32ball is dropped, both the thrower and the catcher will be eliminated. Oh. Oh, fuming.
33:42So you can't just do a shit throw because you both are out. I want to throw something
33:48out. This is going to be a little crazy. Okay. I'm ready for that. Let's listen to your
33:52crazy idea. The one throwing it is going to be judging who's going to catch it. They're
33:56going to judge Mark a lot. Why are you picking on Mark? 8272. That's rude. Mark, what the
34:04fuck have I done? So they're going to judge Mark harsher than the rest of us. What? Why is
34:09he saying that? I don't know. That is ruthless. Just singling him out because of the way he
34:14looks. People judge you, Mark. And if they judge you and they say, hey, we're not going to
34:20throw to you, then everybody behind you, including you, is going to be safe. Oh. So he's saying
34:26no one's going to think he can catch. Yeah. So everyone behind him is safe. So let's put him
34:31up top. That's really mean. I kind of like it, but it's fucking mean. Yeah. Oh, he's upset.
34:42Oh, he's crying. And it's all because of 272. Let the game begin. Okay. So who does she
34:50throw it to you now? Somebody in the front of the queue. You got this. I'm just going to
34:55a lot of it to you, okay? You should be able to catch that. Come on. Absolutely. Nice,
34:59easy throw. Well, if you don't get that, then you're bloody useless. Okay, ready?
35:04Lovely. Well done. Nice work. Easy peasy. So does that mean he's the thrower now?
35:12Player 432. Oh, it's easy, this. Not very far, is it? Even though I think I could manage that,
35:18Laura. Are you a good catcher? I can catch. 272. He was the one who was horrible to Mark,
35:23won't he? Please drop it. I want 272 to be eliminated now. Eliminate him now. Oh, yeah,
35:31man. This is going to be sick. It's like I caught it already. Ready? He's got to go the
35:35whole way down the blue. Oh, it's far, darling. It's far. That is far. Overarm? What are you
35:43doing? Underarm. Okay. It's got to be underarm. Oh, wow. He's just dropped a good.
35:53That is karma. Served cold. Yeah. Oh! I love that bet. I don't know why it shocks me when they
36:03get shot every time it happens. Oh, God, it's Mark. Oh, it's Mark. I hope he gets you.
36:12Oh, I'm me. You think you've got it, Mark. 100%. I'm going to catch the ball. I know TV. They built
36:19this moment up for this moment. He's got this. You got it? I got this. I know you do.
36:25Jesus, he's a little bit more nervous. Are you sure she's making me nervous?
36:31Oh, it's a shit throw. Oh, that's a bit short. Step forward. Step forward.
36:40Oh, no. Get it. Get it, Mark. Get it, Mark. Has he got it, love?
36:44No. Oh, Mark. Oh, shit, a brick. He dropped it. Oh, no. She's not. No. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
36:58Oh, he's so apologetic. Look.
37:07He does a good death, though. He does. The man can die. Very well. That was a good death,
37:12that man. That was amazing. Yeah. Like, he can't catch for shit, but he can act.
37:17In Edinburgh...
37:26What do you think of my hair? Well, I was going to say you've had your hair cut. It's quite short.
37:31It's not cut. It's been scalped.
37:34Sisters Susie and Rosie. Did he ask, or did he just do?
37:38Oh, he just did. He never asked. And the thing is, he won't let me wear my glasses.
37:42So you can't see? No, I can't see. So he just cuts and cuts and we're chatting away and I never know.
37:48And then suddenly at the end... And what did you say? I said it was lovely.
37:55On Monday, the BBC was making the headlines on ITV News.
38:01What did you do that for? I think that was a mistake, Mary. I was trying to kick it off.
38:06I always forget about the news over at weekend as well. It's like Monday's a bit of a reset to find out what's going on with the world.
38:12And what's happened over at weekend since we've been gallivanting.
38:15The chair of the BBC has apologised for an error of judgement within the organisation over the editing of a documentary about Donald Trump.
38:24Oh!
38:26I heard about this on BBC Radio 2 this morning on their news programme.
38:32But then what's funny is it's when the BBC's got a scandal and the BBC News reports on it.
38:37Director General Tim Davey and Head of News Deborah Tarnes both stepped down last night.
38:42You know when they say heads should roll? Well, that's a very, very...
38:47They actually have rolled.
38:48...very big heads that have rolled.
38:49After criticism that the Panorama programme misled viewers by editing a speech made by the US President.
38:56Panorama as well.
38:57Yeah, which is a national institution.
38:59That's a go-to for solid news.
39:02Yeah.
39:02They're going to do a panorama about this panorama.
39:05Yeah, panorama about panorama, man.
39:07Pan-a-panorama.
39:08A panorama programme about Donald Trump edited together two parts of his speech in 2021...
39:15Here's a scene of the crime, Peppers.
39:17...that was spoken nearly an hour apart.
39:19Ooh.
39:20Oh, actually, that's not great, is it?
39:22This is what they used.
39:24We're going to walk down to the Capitol, and I'll be there with you.
39:29Oh, wow.
39:30And we fight.
39:32We fight like hell.
39:33And if you don't fight like hell, you're not going to have a country anymore.
39:37That sounds like something Trump would say.
39:39100%.
39:39And this is what he actually said.
39:41What did he actually say?
39:44What did he actually say?
39:45What did he say?
39:45We're going to walk down to the Capitol.
39:48That's where he stops, you see.
39:50Stop.
39:51So we're not going to go and fight.
39:53No.
39:54What did he say?
39:55And we're going to cheer on our brave senators and congressmen and women.
40:01Poor panorama thinking.
40:02Yeah.
40:04Because I can imagine, if you want to shed Donald Trump in a bad light, there's enough actual
40:10footage out there.
40:11Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:12Why do this?
40:12The US president wrote last night, the top people in the BBC, including Tim Davey, the
40:19boss, are all quitting, fired because they were caught doctoring my very good, perfect speech
40:25of January 6th.
40:26I love that in brackets, perfect, exclamation mark, close brackets.
40:31I mean, it's kind of a flex to be personally named by the presidents of the United States.
40:36Yeah.
40:36No matter what the circumstances, but still, you know, the pair of them had to lose their
40:43jobs.
40:44But everything's a bit sombre in the BBC newsroom.
40:52Everyone's on eggshells.
40:54Good evening.
40:55The BBC is tonight being threatened with a billion dollar legal action by Donald Trump.
41:00Billion dollar, you know?
41:01Shit, that's us.
41:02That's our money.
41:03Oh, God.
41:04Who says he might sue the corporation over the editing of a speech put out in a Panorama
41:09programme last year.
41:10That could ruin them financially.
41:12Nuttie, and ruin our lives.
41:14We don't want the BBC shut down.
41:16He does it everywhere, Donald.
41:17If he gets anything they want, he threatens to sue him.
41:20Our mate's a lot of money.
41:21He might go and start saising goods.
41:23Yeah.
41:24You know, Greg James' microphone.
41:26Seized.
41:27Queen Vic.
41:28Flogged.
41:28Yeah.
41:29Imagine.
41:30Oh.
41:30The last EastEnders Duff Duff been played.
41:33Yeah.
41:34Strictly's had the disco ball taken, and there's no more fake tan.
41:38Gone.
41:39Blackpool week, that's gone down the shit pan.
41:41Not the budget for that now.
41:43All I'm saying is, you know when you think you're having a bad day?
41:48You know.
41:49Hey, I thought about you yesterday, Jen, at Wednesday Market.
41:52Oh, did you?
41:52I got you a present.
41:54That's a belt.
41:55Best friends Jenny and Lee.
41:57That's no good for me.
41:59Look at the size of it.
42:00Oh, I thought it would be.
42:01It looks more like a bloody dog collar than a belt.
42:04No, it was belts.
42:05It all said belts.
42:06What?
42:11It's a frigging dog harness.
42:14On Monday night, it was business as usual with the cops and robbers on Channel 5.
42:20This is the programme where they hardly ever catch anyone, isn't it?
42:23Yes.
42:24I had to intercept Ray in the fridge the other day.
42:26God, I'd just caught him in time.
42:28Whack, I banged the fridge door real quick.
42:30It went, ow!
42:32Oh, you've had enough.
42:33You've had enough now.
42:34I would like to do an advanced driving course.
42:40I actually would.
42:41You need one because you're a shocking driver.
42:44Mid-afternoon on the motorway and drivers have no idea what's motoring up behind them.
42:50They have no idea what's motoring up behind them.
42:52They said the one-liners are awful, isn't it?
42:54I swear, you write them, Twain.
42:57Cops are racing in numbers to try and reach a suspected stolen car.
43:01Oh, here we go.
43:02The car thereafter was allegedly stolen by a gang wielding machetes.
43:07Wielding machetes?
43:09Huh?
43:09Couldn't get a bit tasty, this self.
43:11It could.
43:12Luckily, the National Police Air Service has swooped in to keep tabs on the target.
43:16The birds on them, the birds on them.
43:18They planned a box in the Beamer with multiple armed response vehicles.
43:21Oh, the boxing in tactics.
43:24I love this.
43:24Yeah, I know you do.
43:26Let's go between lanes one and two.
43:28Back to one.
43:29I will give them that it is quite smooth, the changing of lanes.
43:33And they did indicate.
43:35Which you can't be done for that.
43:37Yeah.
43:37Committed, committed.
43:39M6.
43:40Oh, God, don't go on the M6.
43:42You've fucked it now.
43:43Terrible idea.
43:44Worst idea.
43:45Do you know what?
43:45If these guys ever...
43:46Pack up a bus stop and just get out.
43:47A marked car is neck and neck with their target at 130 miles an hour.
43:52Good golly, Miss Molly.
43:54That is terrifying.
43:56My van couldn't do that.
43:57Struggles.
43:58It's 70.
43:59And, at last, they have the requisite three behind and one in front.
44:04Three behind, one in front.
44:05That sounds like a good weekend to me.
44:07Oh, with traffic at a standstill ahead.
44:11Oh, yes.
44:12Come on.
44:12A static.
44:13A static.
44:13Yes.
44:14Oh, they've got him.
44:15It's busy.
44:16Finally, a bit of traffic.
44:18We've not had any of that.
44:19I was questioning whether or not it was a UK road.
44:22Close up, close up.
44:24This is a good time to box it.
44:26Box it, no.
44:29But it's too late.
44:30Oh, no.
44:31Very crappy.
44:33How embarrassing.
44:34Jesus Christ.
44:35He's a bugger, isn't he?
44:37You see, you should never leave gaps when there's traffic like that,
44:40because every bloody arsehole speeds down and jumps in.
44:43OK.
44:44It's now racing down the hard shoulder with just one car in pursuit.
44:48But he's not going to be able to pull off anywhere, is he?
44:51No.
44:52Have you ever been pulled off on the motorway?
44:56What air support can see, but the runaway can't,
45:00is a broken-down lorry on the hard shoulder ahead.
45:03Oh, wonderful.
45:05Perfect.
45:05Yeah, that's what they needed.
45:07It's your lucky day.
45:08And the driver slams on the anchors,
45:10coming to a stop with inches to spare.
45:14Oh, that's it, Pickle.
45:15Oh, bon appétit.
45:17It's finished now.
45:19He ain't going nowhere.
45:20It should be game over.
45:21No, look, he's going to go through that gap.
45:24Start to take it.
45:25Let's go, let's go.
45:26Yes!
45:26That's it, tactical contact, and this time, he's done.
45:31Yes, they've got him!
45:32They've got him!
45:33Yes, it's over, surely.
45:36Get out of the vehicle!
45:38Get out of the vehicle!
45:38Drag him out of the window!
45:41Oh, do you know what?
45:41There was a small part of me rooting for the X3.
45:43Me too, a little bit, but they've got machetes, Daniella.
45:46Oh, they've got him.
45:51He's on the ground.
45:52Oh, let us see their faces.
45:54How old are you?
45:5516.
45:5616.
45:5716!
45:58What?
45:59The same age as my son.
46:01You're 16 as well.
46:01I swear to God.
46:03Send him to me.
46:04Bring him come.
46:05Bring him come to me.
46:07Yeah, I remember when I was 16, just done my GCSEs.
46:11First thing I did was steal a car.
46:12Yeah.
46:13You couldn't even ride a bike.
46:16Could you?
46:17You can stream Come Down With Me Teens right now.
46:27Not streaming now.
46:28Come tidy up after yourselves, teens.
46:30Not in my house, anyway.
46:32Getting away from it all will simmer and erupt from the bestseller.
46:36Summer Water begins Sunday evening at nine.
46:38Speaking of bestsellers, Richard Osman joins The Last Leg next.
46:47The Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the Last Legs of the
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