- 11 minutes ago
Category
đș
TVTranscript
00:00No.
00:02Oh, yeah. Thanks so much.
00:04You too.
00:06Well, that was the coroner. David died of sepsis.
00:11Sorry, I forgot we had a dog.
00:15Also, surprising and alarming that you know how to call a coroner.
00:19Look, I know death.
00:20And yes, I know every girl now is obsessed with murder,
00:23but I started the trend.
00:25They can have their buckled fat removal in Charlotte Tilbury,
00:28and I get blood spatter and Amanda Knox.
00:30Is Amanda Knox the one Italy acquitted?
00:34Real killer left behind poo?
00:36My girl has been through so much, and all people remember is the poo.
00:39Look, I know the right questions to ask.
00:41And in your case, the right question to ask was, what killed David?
00:45David, my first love is dead.
00:48Feels like just yesterday he was fingering me under my Hervé Leger bandage dress at prom.
00:53Now he's a literal angel in our sky.
00:55Mm-hmm.
00:57Brandon Jeffrey David.
01:00Sepsis, comma, finger.
01:06What are you doing?
01:07Three of your ex-boyfriends died.
01:10The more I think about it, the weirder I think it is.
01:12I mean, it's not that weird, right?
01:14Sure, a few of my exes died.
01:18I mean, I'm sure you have an ex who's died.
01:20Terrence.
01:26Anyway, if anything, dating is already impossible.
01:30And now, people are also dying.
01:32It's like, what do I have?
01:33Ugh.
01:38That's sick, right? For the wedding.
01:40I ordered it from Nordstrom's.
01:41I can see a ball.
01:43Okay, you're not actually wearing that to the wedding.
01:46The invite says, come attire in your most authentic spirit, so...
01:49In what way is your most authentic spirit Japanese?
01:52The same way yours is French.
01:53I am 78% French.
01:55Okay, yeah, and I'm 0.9 Japanese.
01:57Where do you draw the line?
01:58I think it's problematic and short.
02:00Oh, so it's Ruby.
02:01Dude, shut the fuck up.
02:03Never, I'm just joking.
02:04Oh, my God.
02:05Look, don't worry, babe.
02:06You know my legs don't get cold.
02:08We're gonna have fun.
02:09Just wear something cool, too.
02:10I can order another one.
02:11They're still cheap right now.
02:12You know, they're on sale because of cherry blossom season.
02:14How are you feeling about that?
02:16Robert's wedding?
02:18Eh, fine.
02:21I mean, I don't love that it's on a Thursday.
02:26Like, at work tomorrow or words I might actually say at a wedding.
02:29Rubes, you were with him for three years.
02:32There was a moment when you thought you were gonna marry him.
02:34We all did.
02:35Yeah, no, I...
02:38Really tried with that one.
02:40Anyway, we broke up so long ago, it feels like ancient history.
02:44But it's still just like a reminder that everybody else has figured it out.
02:48You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
02:51And you are going to find someone.
02:54Holland Taylor didn't meet Sarah Paulson until she was 66.
02:57What could have helped is if Robert had at least given me a plus one.
03:03It's like, no, I'm not seeing anyone now.
03:05But why did he just assume I'm single?
03:09He could have asked me when I texted him after Quiet On Set, The Dark Side of Kids TV came out.
03:13He had a small part on all that.
03:15Nothing happened. He was fine.
03:16Sorry.
03:17Were Brandon, Jeffrey, and David all born in Cantara, a town in California that had a toxic spill in 91 the year they were born?
03:23No, none of them were.
03:25Would you stop?
03:26There is no connection here.
03:28It is like you said, it is a tragic coincidence.
03:32Look.
03:33Robert's an ex. He's alive.
03:35And look.
03:36Look at all these other exes who are doing great.
03:39Brian.
03:40Aubrey.
03:41Oh!
03:42Joao had twins.
03:43Aw.
03:44Nope.
03:45That's just one big baby looking into a mirror.
03:47Hmm.
03:48Let me know who's doing really great.
03:54Now that is the very alive ass of a very alive ex.
03:59It's too backward.
04:01I totally forgot you dated him.
04:03How'd you meet again?
04:04At that bobblehead event, remember?
04:06He shot me a t-shirt from a cannon with his phone number on it.
04:09You know, that was the first relationship where I really felt like a grown up.
04:12He took me to a Ruth's Chris and paid with a check.
04:14Ruth's Chris.
04:15I will never for the life of me understand the name of that restaurant.
04:18Ruth's Chris?
04:20He was also the guy who gave me my first orgasm.
04:23And he was so strong.
04:25He was always picking me up and putting me places.
04:28On a counter.
04:29On a table.
04:30Called me his little elf on a shelf.
04:32I'd rather not picture you having an orgasm on a bookshelf, thank you.
04:36What are you doing?
04:38Oh, sorry.
04:39Um, I broke up with Zach, so I'm deleting all evidence of our relationship.
04:43No way.
04:44Because of the kimono?
04:46Oh, my God.
04:47He has done way dumber shit.
04:49No, no, no.
04:50The kimono is symbolic of many bigger issues.
04:53All of which boil down to the fact that he is a child who refuses to evolve.
04:57He shows me he loves me by giving me stuffed animals.
05:00And he used to be cute, you know?
05:02When we were 25, it was like, look at that dude in roller skates.
05:05He's nuts.
05:06Fun.
05:07Like, there are roller skates on that man who is the first call if I have a stroke.
05:11Now I can get that orca out of the kitchen.
05:13It takes up so much counter space.
05:15That's why I started using the glow hole to hold Splendous.
05:17Oh!
05:18Oh!
05:19Oh!
05:20He's just taking a foul ball to the temple.
05:22Oh, that is not what you want to see.
05:24Did you see that?
05:25Holy shit.
05:26Oh, let's not.
05:27Yeah, we don't really need to see that again.
05:29Let's stop showing that.
05:30What?
05:31What?
05:32Looks like Goldie has come out to try to cheer up the crowd.
05:35But that's clearly not going to be enough.
05:37Can we get somebody to tell Goldie what's going on?
05:44This bed is on fire with passion and love.
05:48The neighbors complain about the noises above.
05:52But she only comes when she's on top.
05:56Oh!
06:01My therapist said not to see you no more.
06:04She said you're like a disease without any cure.
06:08She said I'm so obsessed that I'm becoming a bore.
06:12Oh, no.
06:14I think you're so pretty.
06:17Yeah.
06:18I might as well because of Harry's her interest.
06:20Yeah.
06:21No, he buigs.
06:26I hope he's never a wă»ă»ă»
06:28She done before.
06:29She goes yet, is she takes care of him.
06:37And you want more details about not being respect.
06:40Is she safely in my belief?
06:42Well, Ruby.
06:43Everything looks great.
06:45Your pelvic exam looks good,
06:46Sam looks good.
06:46Your numbers are where I want them.
06:48I'm very happy with your smear.
06:50And you're sure?
06:53Yeah, I'm looking at the results
06:54of a very healthy 33-year-old woman.
06:57Cool.
06:58Very cool.
07:00All right, I'll let you get dressed.
07:01Um, I, uh, just have one question.
07:06There's nothing...
07:08in there that could be harming people, right?
07:15I'm sorry?
07:17I don't know how to say this, Dr. Bonuni,
07:18but there have been some odd deaths around me.
07:23And I just want to make sure I'm not...
07:25involved.
07:28A few guys I slept with have died.
07:30Oh, I'm so sorry.
07:33Ah, it's been hard.
07:35Yeah, so you're worried about an STD?
07:37But, like, I slept with them many years ago,
07:40so maybe it's like a...
07:42a time-release thing.
07:45Like a sexually transmitted shingles.
07:49I rode an elderly donkey when I went to the Grand Canyon.
07:52Could that be related?
07:53How are these people dying?
07:55Uh, one had sepsis.
07:56One, uh, we still don't know.
07:58One got hit by a car right in front of me.
08:00One took a foul ball to the temple,
08:03an FB to the T.
08:04That's the jargon we've been using.
08:06This is the problem with your generation.
08:08You're all so anxious.
08:10Remember the time you came in worried about
08:12your pubic hair growing in sideways?
08:13It was.
08:14It stopped.
08:15I think I was just sleeping on my left side.
08:17Ruby, let me assure you,
08:18it's medically impossible for you
08:20to be causing the deaths of these men.
08:22A foul ball to the temple
08:23cannot be the result of your vagina.
08:25Oh, okay.
08:30Good.
08:32Great.
08:33Yeah, that's what the other three doctors said.
08:36Oh, I was your fourth stop.
08:39Wow, wow, wow.
08:40Look who's anxious now.
08:44Pardon me.
08:44I'm gonna deliver the good news.
08:46I'm gonna deliver the good news.
09:16Oh, hi.
09:19Wow, this place is great.
09:21Right?
09:22We can make this place really special
09:24for your parents' party.
09:25Dinner over there,
09:27dancing there,
09:29and I was thinking maybe
09:30when they read their original wedding vows,
09:34we could do it here.
09:35Hmm.
09:36Yeah, and don't forget about the release
09:37of the hundred doves that his parents
09:39have asked for for some reason.
09:40All right, where's Brenda?
09:41Has anyone seen Brenda?
09:42Does anyone have eyes on Brenda?
09:44She'll rally on the day.
09:45Okay, cool.
09:46And on that day,
09:47this place will look beautiful.
09:49I actually booked this place
09:51three years from now for my own wedding.
09:53Oh, you're engaged?
09:55No.
09:56Actually, not even dating anyone.
09:58And have zero prospects on the horizon.
10:00So, you know,
10:02if you know anyone
10:03like you,
10:05but not you, of course,
10:07I don't date clients.
10:09What do they say?
10:10Don't take a shit at work.
10:11No, it's not that.
10:13Something real close, though.
10:15Sorry, I said take a shit.
10:17That's fine.
10:18People shit.
10:19Not me.
10:19I just love weddings and romance and love.
10:29I guess I'm just a romantic.
10:31You know, I hear people say that,
10:32but what does that mean,
10:34you know,
10:35to be a romantic?
10:37Oh.
10:38Well,
10:39you know.
10:40I just love love.
10:45Mm-hmm.
10:45Things with love in them.
10:48Movies,
10:48TV shows,
10:50podcasts.
10:51Things you can watch
10:51and listen to
10:52that are romantic.
10:54Things with Meg Ryan,
10:55but not dramas
10:56like she did something called Ithaca,
10:57which did not work for me.
10:59So, like rom-coms.
11:01But only with Billy Crystal.
11:02As much as we love Tom Hanks,
11:03that was not undeniable chemistry,
11:05if you ask me.
11:06So, When Harry Met Sally.
11:07I love When Harry Met Sally.
11:09Next thing you know,
11:10you're singing Surrey
11:11with a fringe on top
11:11in front of Ira.
11:13Oh, and spitting that grape
11:15at that car window.
11:16Those are both
11:16Billy Crystal's moments.
11:17Is it maybe him you like?
11:19It's love that I like.
11:22I want an epic kiss in the rain
11:24or a big speech
11:26about how someone loves
11:27every little flaw about me
11:28or someone running in
11:30and interrupting a party
11:31to call my name
11:32so everyone turns to look
11:33and then it's quiet
11:33except for like a little clink
11:35or two of silverware
11:35and then I'm like...
11:37What are you?
11:40What are you doing here?
11:45Anyway, sorry.
11:47Rambling.
11:48No, don't apologize.
11:49I get it.
11:51You want to find someone you love.
11:56You know, this was not in the brochure.
12:00Shut the fuck up.
12:01Was that a Billy Crystal line
12:02from City Slickers?
12:03Yes.
12:06Maybe I am a crystal head.
12:08Oh.
12:13So, this place holds 100.
12:16I assume you'll want to invite 50
12:19and give everyone a plus one?
12:21Unless you also like to discriminate
12:23against single people?
12:25No.
12:26No, of course.
12:26Everyone should get a plus one.
12:27I mean, I'm not married
12:29and I'll be bringing a plus one.
12:31Oh.
12:33Like a...
12:34old teacher?
12:36No, my girlfriend.
12:38Is your girlfriend a...
12:41old teacher?
12:43No, she's a marine biologist.
12:46Her name is Mercy,
12:47as in Boku.
12:50Ah.
12:51Yes.
12:53She's...
12:54pretty.
12:56Yeah.
12:56And how cool
12:57that she has a job
12:58where she...
13:00gets to wear
13:01what I assume
13:02must be her work bikini.
13:04Yeah.
13:05Yeah.
13:05She's also a gamer
13:06and does a ton of charity work.
13:08Ah, congratulations.
13:09That's great.
13:10That is actually what I want to,
13:12to find someone great.
13:13I recently realized
13:14I've been too tough
13:15on the people I've dated,
13:16so just this morning
13:17I slid my age range
13:18up five years to 50
13:18because, you know,
13:19Brad Pitt is 50.
13:21I think Brad Pitt is 60.
13:23Get the fuck out of here.
13:23He's 60?
13:27F.
13:28B.
13:302.
13:31The.
13:32T.
13:35Hi.
13:37Had a great session
13:38with Dr. Debra.
13:40You mean you zimmed
13:40with your therapist
13:41from your car
13:41in a Mendocino Farm's
13:42parking lot?
13:43That's right.
13:44Great.
13:45Dying to know
13:45what she has to say
13:46about all this.
13:47That?
13:48Oh.
13:48I didn't bring it up.
13:50You didn't bring up
13:51that four of your exes died.
13:52I didn't even get to bring up
13:53the fact that Brad Pitt
13:54is 60.
13:55What?
13:56She was on this thing
13:57about how my family
13:58is the root
13:59of my romantic problems.
14:00She was on a roll,
14:01so I just turned off
14:02my camera
14:02and ate my side tortilla.
14:04Ooh!
14:05I like that.
14:07Out of the way.
14:08Much better.
14:09Hmm.
14:09Also,
14:12cute client Isaac
14:13has a girlfriend.
14:16A sexy,
14:17charitable,
14:18marine biologist
14:19gamer.
14:21Can you?
14:22I cannot.
14:23What's with this?
14:25Love when a thought
14:25gets interrupted
14:26by a single cloud drop
14:27from the cloud dropper.
14:29Jesus, Jill!
14:30What's with this?
14:31Ugh.
14:32Zach is being such a dick.
14:34Even though we broke up,
14:35he refuses to give up
14:36his plus one
14:36to the wedding.
14:37He says selecting
14:38the fish option
14:38made it a binding agreement.
14:40What a dick move.
14:42Yeah.
14:42My ex is a real asshole.
14:45Why are you still doing this?
14:47I added stew,
14:48and I'm trying to see
14:49if it's like a riddle.
14:50The first initials
14:51of their names
14:51spell out B-J-D-S.
14:54But that means nothing,
14:55because I was thinking
14:56how scary would it be
14:57if their initials
14:58spelled out like
14:58a creepy word.
15:00Guts.
15:01Or hang.
15:02I would scream.
15:03But they don't.
15:04So it's not that.
15:05Listen.
15:05I know you need
15:07a distraction right now.
15:10And it is sad,
15:11and it is tragic
15:13that these guys have passed,
15:15and no one feels
15:15that more than me.
15:17I hate that you just did that.
15:19But I just got
15:19a clean bill of health.
15:21So whatever's happening here
15:23is not my fault.
15:25If anything,
15:26this should just remind us
15:27that life is short,
15:28and we need to appreciate it.
15:29we owe it to these
15:31dead gentlemen
15:32to have single-girl fun
15:34and find love
15:35at a weeknight wedding
15:36and...
15:37wait,
15:38where is this again?
15:38Jesus Christ.
15:52One hour drive,
15:5335-minute ferry,
15:55dropped our bags
15:56at that shed.
15:57That was the motel.
15:59And a 25-minute bus ride
16:01on a Thursday.
16:03Oh, God.
16:06This is so Robert.
16:09Remember when you dated him
16:11you got super into tahini?
16:13Middle Eastern dips
16:14and protesting salmon farming
16:15was her thing.
16:16Ugh, Zach is here.
16:18I'd recognize those
16:19Shrek crocs anywhere.
16:24Single-girl fun?
16:26Single-girl fun.
16:27Oh, and there's Robert.
16:40Looking very much
16:41healthy and alive.
16:43Yes, he does.
16:45And there's Sarah.
16:47So what's our vibe tonight?
16:48Mean girls or women
16:49supporting women?
16:51In the spirit
16:52of celebrating life,
16:54let's do supporting women.
16:56Great.
16:56Love, Sarah.
16:57She's glowing.
16:58Radiant, stunning.
16:58My eyes are looking
16:59at a mermaid.
17:01Robert and Sarah
17:02are offering
17:03almond butter stouts
17:04and orange wine
17:05with tenons on the side
17:06if you'd like
17:06to smooth them in.
17:08Is there, like,
17:10regular alcohol?
17:11There is not.
17:14Okay.
17:17Thanks.
17:18Cheers.
17:19Cheers.
17:22Mine is, like,
17:24stuck in the glass.
17:25I'm not even worried.
17:28Might make sure
17:28we're going tonight.
17:37Oh, yeah.
17:39You designed toothpaste flavors?
17:41Yeah.
17:42That's crazy.
17:44Yeah, yeah.
17:45Bye.
17:45Bye.
17:45Bye.
17:45Bye.
17:46Bye.
17:47Bye.
17:47Bye.
17:48Bye.
17:49Bye.
17:49Bye.
17:49Bye.
17:50Bye.
17:50Bye.
17:51Bye.
17:51Bye.
17:51Bye.
17:51Bye.
17:51Bye.
17:51Bye.
17:52Bye.
17:52Bye.
17:52Bye.
17:53Bye.
17:53Bye.
17:53Bye.
17:53Bye.
17:55Bye.
17:55Bye.
17:57Bye.
17:57Bye.
18:07I think she's alone with Dennis.
18:08You think so?
18:10Yes.
18:10What?
18:11She's by herself.
18:12Bye.
18:13Bye.
18:14Bye.
18:14Bye.
18:14Bye.
18:15Bye.
18:16Bye.
18:16Bye.
18:17Bye.
18:17Bye.
18:18Bye.
18:18Bye.
18:20Bye.
18:20Bye.
18:20Bye.
18:20Bye.
18:21Bye.
18:22Bye.
18:23Bye.
18:23Bye.
18:23Thank you so much for coming, it means a lot.
18:34Take care.
18:39Hey! You're here by yourself.
18:43Kidding.
18:45Beautiful ceremony. Yeah.
18:48I'm so glad you could make it, Ruby.
18:51I wouldn't miss it.
18:53I'm so happy for you, Robert.
18:55I am, too.
18:56I feel like I finally found the other half of my spirit and I feel complete.
19:02Yeah.
19:04Must be a good feeling.
19:05Oh, it really is.
19:07Yeah.
19:09He said.
19:11So, speaking of other halves of spirits, and this is not a big deal, but I was wondering...
19:19Why didn't you give me a plus one?
19:21Oh, uh, you know, it was just a policy Sarah and I had for people who aren't in a significant relationship.
19:29Oh, right.
19:30Yeah.
19:31But, and again, this is not a big deal at all, but, um, did you know for a fact that I wasn't in a significant relationship?
19:40Or did you just assume?
19:42I-I-I thought I'd heard.
19:44Because it kind of feels like you assumed and I'm not sure why.
19:47Like, we texted when I asked if you were molested on that Nickelodeon show, which honestly feels like it would have been the perfect opportunity to ask, but you didn't.
19:55And I guess, I don't know, I don't know why you think it was so crazy that I'd be with someone.
20:01Because I actually thought I did a, I don't know, a nice job in our relationship.
20:08I didn't just give up. I-I considered your feelings, I developed shared interests, I compromised, I tried, which honestly is why I was surprised when you broke up with me.
20:18But I mean, it is fine. It is fine. It is fine. It was forever ago and now, and now you are here marrying Sarah, who is a radiant mermaid, but also like, how did you know we weren't right?
20:30This.
20:32Huh?
20:33This is how I knew. I mean, you're making my wedding about you while my parents and a line of people are waiting to talk to me.
20:43I'm not making it about me. You were making this about me when you assumed that I was single and I-
20:47Why are we talking about this?
20:49Well, I would have talked to my plus one about it, but I didn't get one.
20:51Maybe if you weren't like this, you'd have a plus one.
20:55I-this is why I didn't want Sarah to invite you. You haven't changed at all. I cannot believe you're still this selfish.
21:02Now, if you wouldn't mind, my old pediatrician would like to congratulate me.
21:06Doc Doc Steiner! Hey!
21:17That's cool.
21:23Stout and a spoon, please.
21:25Here you go.
21:26Having fun?
21:27Not in the slightest. You?
21:30Nope.
21:31I've gotten zero compliments on my kimono. One person even called it cultural appropriation.
21:36But I'm like, whatever, dude. Like, women wear berets, so...
21:41It's hard to argue with any part of that.
21:47At least our girl is having fun.
21:49Please. She's not really learning how to play.
21:52You want a real drink?
21:58If you have been drinking actual alcohol at this thing, I swear to Elsbeth.
22:03Hey, everyone. It's me, Craig, who's ready for two longish stories about Robert.
22:09I also have weed.
22:10Let us go far from this place.
22:11This one is the kegger. He was wrestling with my dad.
22:22You okay?
22:23Oh, yeah. Sort of. The groom just told me some... rude information about myself.
22:32But I don't know. You'd probably just agree.
22:35Try me.
22:37Well...
22:39He said I was... selfish.
22:44Yeah, big time.
22:46But whatever. Aren't we all? You, me, everyone? Robert? That ding-dong is selfish.
22:53Who has all their friends ferry out to the woods on a Thursday? Fuck that guy.
22:57Yeah. Fuck that guy.
23:00Maybe it seems like I'm selfish, but really, it's like AJ's size. I just have high standards for myself.
23:05I get it. Every time I leave the apartment, I think, maybe, just maybe, I'll save a baby.
23:13From whatever, like an out-of-control car, or like a falling elevator, neglectful nanny.
23:20I don't know. Probably won't happen.
23:24I mean, if I'm being honest, I guess I thought it would all turn out better.
23:31That I'd be... further along by now.
23:35It's like we all have this idea of where we should be, and there's where we are, the reality, with our careers, our relationships.
23:47Like, how's someone supposed to know? This is the person I'm supposed to end up with?
23:52Totally.
23:54Life doesn't come with a manual. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know where that came from. I think I read it on a dish towel.
24:10Still good with that kimono choice?
24:12Oh.
24:13You still think that was a smart move to wear to the wedding?
24:15I do. This shit is awesome. I'm never going back on this choice.
24:18It's got all these folds I can, like, store stuff in. I'm like fucking 007. Look at all this stuff.
24:22I got a flask. I got my weed in here. I got driver's license. My motel room key.
24:28Oh, fancy motel room key.
24:31Yeah, well, I'm a pretty fancy guy.
24:33Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a fancy guy with your kimono and its folds.
24:38You gonna take a girl home tonight?
24:40I'm gonna take every girl, every woman in these woods home.
24:43Oh, yeah, you are. You're gonna take all the women home from these woods.
24:45Yeah, I'm like Winnie the Pooh looking for that honey pot.
24:48Search for that honey pot, you fancy kimono, man.
24:50I'm like a little bumblebee looking to stay.
24:52Ooh, a buzz, a buzz. A buzz, a buzz, a buzz. Buzzing towards your honey.
24:56Buzz towards your honey pot, you fancy kimono.
25:03Oh, fuck.
25:05Oh, my God. Get up. Get up. Oh, my God.
25:12We did the worst. We did the absolute worst.
25:15We did the fucking worst. Oh, oh.
25:19And like 20 missed texts from AJ.
25:21Where did you go? Hello, a selfie in bed next to the cellist. Cello.
25:25Hold up, what? What the fuck?
25:28I can't believe she did that.
25:30I can't believe we did this.
25:33Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
25:37We can never tell her what happened, okay? Never.
25:40Why would I tell her? She would never talk to me again.
25:43And shit. It's Friday. I have to work.
25:48Oh.
25:50Just make us a couple Keurigs while I shower, okay?
25:55Oh, I hope there's Wi-Fi on the ferry.
25:57I am a monster.
26:05Sorry I'm late. I had to go back into the woods for my heels.
26:09Hey, no worries. Gave the chef time to prepare all the different smelts.
26:12Oh, right. That is what we're doing today. The smelt tasting.
26:19Mm-hmm. Yeah.
26:22Yeah, my parents are gonna love this.
26:25Different types of oily, buttery fishes. That is their heaven.
26:29Mine, too.
26:31Is there any way I could get, like, a Sprite?
26:33I cannot believe there are eight different ways to enjoy smelt.
26:37Chef's kiss.
26:39Um, yes, chef. Those are two different.
26:43Hi. You must be Ruby. I'm Mercy.
26:45Hi. I didn't realize you'd be here today. Hi.
26:48Yeah, Mercy is a huge foodie like my mom.
26:51She wanted to come to the tasting.
26:52Mm. I love food. Just like geeky-gee-gee.
26:55Mm-hmm. Uh, what words are those?
26:57Oh, that's what I call Isaac's mom.
26:59Geeky-gee-gee. We're, like, very close.
27:02Okay, wonderful. Let's love that.
27:04Okay. First smelt is up.
27:07Who's ready for a fish so tender you can spread it like cream cheese?
27:12Mm-hmm.
27:13For a second, you're gonna think your body can't hold it.
27:15But count to ten, and it will.
27:18Stop talking about the fish.
27:20Mm.
27:22So, uh, Mercy, I've heard so much about you.
27:25Mm-hmm. You're a marine biologist?
27:28Mm-hmm. Yeah.
27:29And I also work with a charity that's very near and dear to my heart.
27:32That's so selfless of you.
27:35Which one?
27:36People experiencing carlessness.
27:38Specifically women.
27:40Yeah, we provide transportation to un-carred people.
27:43Specifically women.
27:45Oh.
27:47That sounds like a great cause.
27:51Hmm.
27:52Trying to understand it, but it's hard.
27:55So, women who don't have cars, you give them one?
28:00Yes, but not just un-carred.
28:02They're also usually un-homed.
28:06Oh.
28:07Sorry, it's the lab.
28:09Hey, Glenda.
28:10Okay, well, did you get the blood work back?
28:12Excuse me.
28:13Mm-hmm.
28:14Yeah.
28:15No, I'm listening.
28:17Hold on, I'm just...
28:19Oh, I'm just gonna...
28:20Okay.
28:21Okay.
28:22Okay, I'm here.
28:25Yeah.
28:30Ugh.
28:32You okay?
28:34Honestly...
28:36No.
28:37I made a horrible mistake at last night's Thursday wedding and I just...
28:41I did something unforgivable to a friend.
28:45Hey.
28:46Look, we...
28:47We all do things we regret.
28:49Doesn't mean you're a bad person.
28:53It's your friend AJ.
28:55How'd you know?
28:57He seems to really want to get a hold of you.
29:00Oh.
29:03AJ's a she.
29:04Okay.
29:05Um...
29:06Does AJ know what happened?
29:07I've never kept a secret from her before.
29:12Well, I mean, this is clearly someone who's important to you.
29:16The sooner you tell her, the sooner you can get past whatever it is and get your friendship back on track.
29:22Okay, second smelt.
29:24Listen, I'm not gonna lie to you guys.
29:26This one is tough.
29:28Rubes, that you?
29:32Yeah, it's me.
29:35Sorry I didn't call you back.
29:36I was, um, slammed at work.
29:40Fuck.
29:42We got back together.
29:45No, I...
29:47Zach took all his gaming stuff.
29:48He called this morning.
29:49I told him I hooked up with the cellist, which really seemed to upset him.
29:53He told me he hooked up with someone and it led to a whole big discussion.
29:58Like, an actual adult discussion about what we want and what we need.
30:04It was different and nice.
30:08And then...
30:09It's selfish!
30:10I'm naming him Terrence.
30:12Okay, wow!
30:14Zach's just bringing his stuff back over from his friend Felix's place.
30:17Who do you think he hooked up with? Did you see him talking to anyone?
30:19I think it...
30:22was the bartender.
30:24I had a feeling.
30:25Anyway, that's not what I needed to tell you.
30:26Where have you been?
30:28Oh, I, uh...
30:30I was gonna take a bus back, but I just fell asleep in the woods.
30:34Disgusting.
30:35I cannot believe you left before the speeches last night.
30:37It was crazy.
30:39Yeah, so...
30:41As many of you who are close to me know...
30:44I'm dying.
30:45So I got married.
30:46Check that off the bucket list.
30:48No.
30:50Not Robert!
30:52Yes.
30:53Lymphoma.
30:54And that's not even the best part.
30:56Look what I figured out.
30:58We found out about the deaths.
31:00In this order.
31:01But David actually died first.
31:03So they really died in this order.
31:06And I'm gonna redo all this.
31:07It's gonna look good.
31:08But just so you can see.
31:10They died in the order you slept with them.
31:15No.
31:18No.
31:19This...
31:21That can't be true.
31:22I hate to say that it is.
31:26Michael!
31:28You forgot Michael.
31:30I slept with Michael in between Jeffrey and Stu.
31:34He's just like an Instagram post of a James Baldwin poem.
31:36I paraphrased.
31:38Michael's fine.
31:45That's sex.
31:47My vagina is killing people.
31:49It's an emergency.
31:50My style of hate and cutie needs to talk on a leash.
31:51She walks me sometimes.
31:52When I wanna lose my mind.
31:53When I wanna lose my mind.
31:54When I wanna lose my mind tonight.
31:55Will this feeling effort go away?
31:56Will it take a six extinction just to kill off all the pain?
31:58wish I could live my life in peace.
32:00Without ripping off a little bit of me.
32:01I can take another name inside my body.
32:02I can take another name inside my body.
32:10Distinction just to kill off all the pain
32:12Wish I could live my life in peace
32:16Without ripping off a little bit of meat
32:19I can't take another name inside my body
32:24I can't take another name inside my body
32:27I can't take another name inside my body
32:31When I get on one set it's way before this bitch writes dark
32:36Bitch writes dark
32:39I think that's a good idea
Be the first to comment