00:00You know, I knew being a parent was going to be difficult, but sometimes I sit back and ask myself, should it really be this hard?
00:14You know, there is a quiet grief that many parents carry that they rarely say aloud.
00:22It's the grief of doing your best and still feeling misunderstood.
00:30The grief of being present, providing, protecting, praying, and realizing your children don't see you the way you hoped they would.
00:43The grief of realizing that alone, love did not prevent distance.
00:53And if we're willing to be honest here today, there's also another grief layered underneath it.
01:00The fear that maybe you misunderstood your children as well.
01:06Not intentionally, and not in a cruel way, but gradually, over time, while life was busy, while responsibilities piled up, while everyone was growing faster than conversations could keep up.
01:27And this pain, well, this pain doesn't come from neglect.
01:34It often comes from difference.
01:38You know, different generations.
01:41We have different pressures.
01:44Different languages for emotions.
01:48Different ways of making meaning in the world.
01:52And here's something scripture makes very clear if we're brave enough to look.
01:59God does not expect parents and children to be identical.
02:06He expects them to be connected.
02:10And connection is not agreement.
02:13Connection is not control.
02:15And connection is not cloning your values into another soul.
02:22Connection is presence.
02:28And one of the most dangerous assumptions we make in families is believing that time automatically produces understanding.
02:39Well, unfortunately, it doesn't.
02:44Time can actually widen gaps if we don't intentionally cross them.
02:51You see, Jesus never assumed understanding.
02:56He pursued it.
02:59Over and over again.
03:02He asked questions.
03:04Not because he lacked knowledge.
03:07But because questions create space.
03:11And space is where trust grows.
03:16And when children feel unseen, they don't rebel first.
03:22They withdraw.
03:24And when parents feel dismissed, well, we don't stop loving.
03:31But often, we stop asking.
03:34And that's where the gap forms.
03:38And into that gap, fear rushes in.
03:43You know, fear that says, if I don't correct this now, I'll lose them.
03:50Fear that says, if I soften, they'll think I approve of everything.
03:56And fear that says, if I listen, I'll be compromised.
04:05Yeah.
04:07Wow.
04:08That's a lot of truth.
04:10I felt all those things with my children.
04:13But fear has never built a bridge.
04:18Love does.
04:19And friends, love, according to scripture, is patient.
04:27Not passive.
04:29Patient.
04:31Which means it stays engaged without becoming reactive.
04:36Parents, your children don't need you to surrender your convictions.
04:43They need you to surrender your urgency.
04:47Urgency shuts down dialogue.
04:51Presence, well, presence opens it.
04:57And your child may not reject who you are.
05:01They may be simply trying to understand who they are.
05:06And they do not yet know how to do that without pushing against the familiar.
05:13That's not betrayal.
05:16That's formation.
05:19And children, though this talk is mostly for parents today,
05:25it's important to say this, too.
05:28No, your parents are not frozen in time.
05:33They are human beings who grew up under pressures you may never fully understand.
05:40They loved with the tools they had.
05:44Some of those tools were sharp.
05:48Some were incomplete.
05:50But I assure you, love was still there.
05:55And the Bible is honest about family tension.
06:01Abraham and Isaac.
06:03Jacob and Esau.
06:05David and Absalom.
06:09The prodigal son.
06:11None of these stories are clean.
06:14But all of them are redemptive.
06:18Keep that in mind.
06:20You may ask why.
06:21Because God does his best work after misunderstanding and not before it.
06:30Bridging the gap requires humility on both sides.
06:35But parents must lead.
06:38Not because they are superior,
06:41but because we are stronger.
06:44And strength in scripture is never dominance.
06:48It is restraint.
06:50You know, sometimes the most Christ-like thing a parent can do is say,
06:58I do not fully understand you, but I want to.
07:03And that sentence dismantles walls.
07:07Another bridge is built when parents stop assuming intent.
07:13Not every difference is defiance.
07:18Not every silence is disrespect.
07:22Sometimes it's confusion.
07:25Sometimes it's fear of disappointing you.
07:30Sometimes it's exhaustion from trying to be understood and failing.
07:37And Jesus, well, Jesus never mistook struggle for rebellion.
07:44He recognized it for what it was.
07:48Hunger.
07:50Your child's questions may not be a tax on your values.
07:55They may be invitations into deeper conversations,
07:59if you're willing to hear them.
08:02And finally, this must be said clearly.
08:09Reconciliation is not always immediate.
08:12And it is not always symmetrical.
08:17You can fully love and still wait.
08:22You can stay open without being walked over.
08:28You can trust God without forcing outcomes.
08:33You see, the father of the prodigal son did not chase.
08:39But he also did not close the door.
08:43He stayed visible.
08:45He stayed ready.
08:47And he stayed loving.
08:51Parents, your calling is not to win arguments.
08:56It is to remain a refuge.
08:59Children grow best when they feel safe enough to return.
09:06And if today that gap feels wide,
09:09too wide to cross in one step,
09:12remember this.
09:14Bridges are not crossed all at once.
09:18They are crossed plank by plank.
09:20And a softened tone,
09:25a listening ear,
09:27a prayer whispered when you don't know what else to do.
09:31God specializes in restoring what feels fractured
09:36beyond repair.
09:39He has not given up on your family.
09:43He's still working.
09:44Often quietly,
09:47often slowly,
09:49but always faithfully.
09:53So I'm going to ask you,
09:56stay present,
09:58stay humble,
10:00and above all else,
10:03stay loving.
10:05Because love that is anchored in God
10:08never loses its power,
10:10even when it has to wait.
10:16You're doing a better job than you know.
10:20A much better job than you think.
10:24The fact that you're present for your children
10:27and that you care enough to listen to this message
10:30tells me all I need to know.
10:34You're doing a good job.
10:37Keep showing up.
10:38God bless you.
10:42Bye-bye.
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