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8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown S00E26 Christmas Special 2025
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00:00Ladies and gentlemen, please
00:14Power
00:15Thanks for coming out Merry Christmas everyone
00:19Okay, so we've got an amazing lineup
00:20We've got our team captains John Richardson and Rob Beckett Judy Love Daisy May Cooper Katie Norris Susie Dent Rachel Riley
00:30Thank you
00:44Okay, simple right. I'm worried. I don't look Christmasy enough should we do this? Yeah
01:00Hello
01:02Hello and welcome to the eight out of ten cats does countdown
01:20Does countdown Christmas special a show about letters numbers conundrums and Christmas, okay?
01:36Let's meet tonight's players first up. It's team captain John Richardson
01:40John does look like one of Santa's elves, but the one that works in accounts
01:51Would know
01:53And John's teammate Daisy May Cooper
02:01Daisy claims she wants attempted to have sex with a ghost. I bet that put the willies up here
02:05Up against them this evening team captain Rob Beckett
02:14Rob Beckett loves Christmas because of the huge smiles on his kids faces which sadly for them are genetic
02:24And joining Rob tonight's Judy love
02:26Judy love attended drama school for four months but left after she fell pregnant and that is as close as hackney is going to get the nativity story
02:39So you're at drama school and you fell pregnant. So that's yeah, it was a hell of an improv session
02:43It was it was proper. It was live. Everyone enjoyed it different kind of show
02:47Did you do any more acting after that we could do an improv moment right now, okay?
02:54That night
02:58It's so special to me
03:02Wait is he the dad yeah
03:06John have you ever been asked to turn on a town's Christmas lights you sound very unwell jimmy
03:12The voice box is the only thing you haven't had replaced and now look
03:17Uh, yeah, I did a few last year actually, but none of them have asked me back
03:23I hooked them all up to spark meters
03:27I had a few booked in this year, but then Andrew became available
03:34You can't beat a royal who wants to work cash in hand
03:39All right, Daisy, um, what was it like growing up with your brother Charlie
03:43Traumatic
03:44Christmases were very traumatic our great nan came to stay with us one christmas
03:49I was about eight charlie was about five and we had bunk beds christmas eve
03:55We heard the door open and we thought oh my god it's santa claus
03:59And it wasn't it was our great nan who was naked
04:03Sleepwalking with night terrors, right. She just walked into our room and screamed
04:08Horrendous
04:14So what part of her made you think it was father christmas the long beard
04:22It was
04:25Rob what element of christmas would you ban i would ban um the snowman the depressing cartoon yeah that it's on every year
04:31Oh, shit
04:35Chill away, it's a shit drawing like we've got moana now proper cgi
04:40Animations moved on i don't know what's something worse at a special time jermy
04:45So yeah, i'll get rid of the snowman
04:48So i've upset the entire nation
04:51Do you like the snowman yeah, i do he dies at the end you're not like that bit when he dies he dies yeah i'll watch it this year
04:57Yeah
05:00Judy are you are you a good cook do you do christmas dinner yeah it depends on whether you know the spirit takes me in the spirit is called rum
05:09Your food situation at christmas we spoke about this before is mental how much food do you make
05:13I mean we do everything we do rice and peas and we do plain rice then we do curry goat and then we do jerk chicken then we have fried chicken
05:19But in the morning we have fried fish escvore fish with ardo bread we might have ackee and saltfish then we kind of add our little british culture which is a bit of toast
05:33Then we have dessert we've got the black cake we've got everything fruits and cream
05:37It feels like you could cut the plain rice course
05:39Oh no no no no this is a jamaican house there's nothing plain in there even the plain white rice is seasoned
05:45It's washed it's got salt it's got butter you put a bit of wine oh let's not go there white people please
05:53You wash it and then you let it bubble up and you put butter and you put salt you put a bit of thyme and i like to with my plain white rice
05:59I get a scotch bonnet when it's simmering and i put the scotch but in the middle and just let it simmer it down
06:03Don't let it burst let me tell you something you will never like they say once you go black you don't go back
06:09Once you go white rice with a scotch bonnet you won't go back i'm telling you
06:13Try it people sounds good thank you thank you for the one clap
06:19Okay john have you got a mascot i have what have you got um well it's all about christmas traditions
06:25For me the best tradition of christmas is when you get your christmas morning bin bag
06:29Yes
06:35Yes i start looking for mine about september i'd start filling it with that suit
06:43So you know you've got to start thinking about what sort of load it's going to take uh what thickness of bag you want
06:49You know you get the wrong christmas bag and the kids have been up at r5 your three christmas bin bags in by six o'clock
06:55You ain't coming back from that yeah christmas day's over
06:59Is that a heavy duty?
07:01It's not full heavy duty no because then i think um there's too much heft to it
07:03Right
07:05And it sort of takes you want the crinkle
07:07Yeah some of that christmas
07:09Are you struggling with that?
07:11I don't think you've picked the right bag
07:15Oh
07:17Oh i like that
07:19Don't criticise his black bag
07:21No i've been having christmas bags for years
07:23You always remember you oh i get emotional looking at this picture
07:27Your first christmas bin bag is um it's a real thing
07:31Is that really you?
07:33Is that really you?
07:35That's me yeah
07:36Which one?
07:37Yeah my sister's in that picture but the um
07:43The team have taken the decision to edit her out and put the bag where she was stood so that's a
07:47That's a conversation we'll have at my real family christmas
07:51Uh daisy if you've got a mascot
07:54Do you want to bring him out?
07:56Oh this is my son benji
07:58dressed as the christmas pudding
08:00Oh
08:02Thank you babe
08:03Oh hello poppet
08:04Um
08:05Yeah i
08:06It's only because i sort of fucked up a bit with childcare
08:13I said can i bring him and they said fine
08:16And they said have you bought a mascot and i said no
08:19Yes sir
08:20You'd be a bit scared of jimmy earlier won't you john
08:23He's not the grinch
08:25Look there he is he's a nice man you wave to him
08:29Stop it
08:30Hello
08:31Hi
08:33How old are you?
08:34You are 17 months
08:3617 months
08:37Yeah
08:38Well talk me through the conception
08:41It was really great actually
08:44In a travelodge
08:47Really yeah
08:48I've had the best times there
08:50Straight talk
08:51Straight talk
08:52Are you 100% sure
08:53That's not rob beckett
08:54Show us your teeth
08:58Thanks darling
08:59He's not going to bite you the nasty man
09:04Can i ask are you
09:05Oh darling i'm so sorry
09:08You don't want to go past it
09:09And you've picked up a child before have you
09:10You know
09:11Judy have you got a mascot
09:14I have got a mascot
09:16My Jamaican crackers
09:18Yeah i'm jamaican if you didn't know
09:20It just it just brings you into like my kind of household and my vibes with different words and stuff that i can teach you so put it open
09:35Now can you read what that says with your best jamaican accent
09:42Oh
09:45Bye rob
09:46No
09:47Lickle more
09:49Yes
09:50Lickle more
09:51Lickle more
09:52Do you know what that means
09:53A little more
09:54Lick it more
09:55Oh
09:56No it doesn't
09:57Lickle more
09:58Yeah it means a little more
09:59Or you could say in the same thing like
10:01Yeah i'll see you soon
10:02Lickle more
10:03Like i'll soon come
10:04Lickle more
10:05Gunfinger
10:06Alright everyone
10:07Okay
10:08Just got carried on
10:09Well i've definitely cancelled after that
10:11Woooo
10:12Merry Christmas
10:13Let's see if
10:14Let's see if John
10:15Let's give it to John
10:16Yeah say that
10:17Go on go on John
10:18Yeah
10:21Me daya
10:22Me daya
10:23Say it faster though
10:24Me daya
10:25Where are you
10:26Me daya
10:27You can't see me
10:28Me here
10:29You're there
10:30Say it with your chest though John
10:32Mommy i'm here
10:33No
10:34I'm right here
10:35Judy
10:36You've missed that
10:37Me daya
10:38Me daya
10:39Where are you there John
10:40John
10:41Me daya
10:42Yeah
10:43But Jimmy i will say
10:47You definitely know your language
10:49Because the other one is usually
10:51Wagwana
10:52You said it before even being prompt
10:54So big up yourself Jimmy
10:56Sometimes look at me like i'm some sort of bumper car
11:02Yeah
11:03Rob have you got a mascot can it not be racist
11:11The answer is yes and then no
11:14Yeah i do have a mascot
11:16What i've got is i was getting the christmas decorations out the loft as you do
11:20Yeah
11:21And i stumbled across a box full of christmas presents that i've got my wife and lou in the past
11:26Hmm
11:27That she's never used
11:28These are presents you bought for the good lady
11:30These are presents i've bought for my wife that she doesn't want and i think she's bang out of order
11:38It's already good
11:39She's into arts and crafts
11:41Right
11:42I've got her a seven piece chisel set
11:45This was a good one
11:47Wood varnish
11:50She kept on saying she wanted that fence painted so i got this
11:53She'd fuck all with it
11:56We wanted to try and spice things up in the bedroom
11:58Right
11:59You know you're in a marriage you sort of think
12:01I don't know
12:02So i got a little outfit
12:03You don't know
12:04What about spicing the things up in the bedroom
12:06I'm not married
12:07You have plain sex with a scotch vonna in the middle do you
12:11LAUGHTER
12:16Anyway
12:17So i thought i'll get i'll get her an outfit to wear for a bit of sexy time so i got her this
12:24But i thought that might be quite nice a bit of role play she never wore it
12:27It's all piss take
12:28It's a beautiful gift
12:29You know this one she didn't want this one either
12:31A bottle of champagne what could be the problem with a bottle of champagne
12:34That's nice
12:35You know
12:36What's to say on the label
12:37To rob thanks for all your hard work on the baftas
12:39LAUGHTER
12:40APPLAUSE
12:45What are you doing there buddy
12:47Jimmy will have the wood varnish he's do her
12:49You do her recap
12:54Over in dictionary corner it's Katie Norris
12:56APPLAUSE
12:57Thank you sir
12:59Merry Christmas Jimmy
13:00Well Merry Christmas to you it's your first time on the show
13:02Tell us a little bit about yourself
13:03Well my name's Katie and people often think i've got divorced woman energy
13:09I've actually never been married
13:12And i'm not a mum just a woman with a tight snatch a loose tongue and a social lie
13:17Can i just get a bit of commotion for the outfit
13:19Yeah
13:20Yeah
13:25Thank you i um
13:26So i only wear this for special occasions
13:28There was a bit of an issue with the crotch though
13:30Um because it started to erode
13:32Um but the uh the designers sewed into my crotch a professor's elbow
13:36You know like a suede patch
13:39Um which does feel quite funny to me because i'm not used to feeling a professor's elbow down there
13:44But i wanted to feel confident
13:49Could you tell us less about yourself
13:53I've got a gift for you jimmy
13:55Excellent christmas
13:56It took me eight and a half hours
13:58So i've recently trained to become a taxidermist
14:05This is boo
14:06Oh
14:07Boo radley
14:08I mean boo boo's showing her boo boo
14:11Yes her boo boo
14:12Yeah
14:13There's a squirrel's elbow down there
14:17And with katie of course it's susie dent
14:19Susie's books make a great last minute christmas gift for people you don't like
14:29What's your favourite festive word susie
14:31Oh wonder clout
14:33Erm and a wonder clout
14:35Is something that looks really promising
14:37You think it's going to be great and it ends up being really disappointing
14:40Oh i got one of those
14:42Yeah
14:44Yeah
14:45Actually there is in wrestling there is a christmas hold
14:47Which is when one wrestler gets the other by the crotch and so it's a handful of nuts
14:53I think that's what your squirrel has
14:55Was that nuts on the squirrel then or a bulky vagina?
14:59No these are nuts
15:01Did you just ask was it nuts or a bulky vagina?
15:07I think it's a fair question
15:09I don't think we're using the phrase bulky vagina nut
15:12On our christmas show
15:14And in charge of the numbers it's rachel riley
15:18I'm not saying rachel's christmas dress is short but i think i can see her grotto
15:27It's not bulky either
15:30It's not bulky either
15:36Thanks for sharing
15:38Merry christmas
15:39Rachel
15:41What is your favourite christmas statistic?
15:43You know how people put food out for santa and the reindeer so some people put milk out
15:47And apparently in the uk 1.3 million cans of beer get put out for santa on christmas eve
15:52Which is about two and a half million units of alcohol
15:55So santa's about 600,000 times the drink driver limit
15:59When he's going around up there so you can't even read that naughty list
16:04Which explains why my little one gets presents every year and she's an absolute shit
16:07It's shit
16:10Straight to early everyone
16:14Okay and the prize the teams will be competing for tonight
16:16Is definitely not an elf on a shelf for legal reasons
16:19It's the countdown elf upon a mantelpiece
16:31Thanks for lending him the gear john
16:32Thanks for lending him the gear john
16:35Okay let's count down everyone
16:37Time for our first game
16:38Rob, judy, you get first poke of the letters
16:41Consonant
16:43Thank you judy
16:44R
16:45You pick a pick
16:46Can i get a vowel please?
16:47Yeah
16:48O
16:49Can i have a vowel please?
16:51E
16:52Consonant please
16:53N
16:54Am i still going?
16:55Yeah it looks like it
16:57Can i have a consonant please?
16:58C
16:59Vowel
17:00You
17:01Do you want to go no?
17:02Vowel
17:03No do you want to start writing it down then?
17:05Oh i thought i was saying that you was writing it
17:07Vowel please
17:10Sure
17:11Er i wasn't but now i am just to piss you off
17:15And then er fuck it and have a vowel
17:17Yeah
17:19You have to have four
17:21I'm overruling
17:22No we'll have a consonant
17:23You have to have four consonants on this game
17:25T
17:26Oh i see a word
17:27Oh yeah
17:30Merry christmas everyone
17:36And for the first time today
17:38Here's the countdown clock
17:40It's beginning to look a lot like christmas
17:45Everywhere you go
17:49There's the look in the five and ten
17:51Listening once again
17:53Well candy canes and silver lanes aglow
17:57It's the beginning to look a lot like christmas
18:02Tars in every store
18:04It's quite hard to read
18:07But the prettiest sight to see
18:08Is the holly that will be
18:10On your own
18:11Front door
18:13Front door
18:21Rob what have you got
18:22A four
18:24Judy how many?
18:25Seven
18:26Seven?
18:27Yeah
18:28Daisy how many?
18:29I got six
18:30Okay
18:31John
18:32Seven
18:33Uncastable four-letter word
18:34Car
18:35Daisy your six
18:37Toucan
18:38Nice
18:40Judy your seven
18:41Counter
18:43Oh my golly
18:46Oh wow
18:49And John your seven
18:50Cartoon
18:51Seven points to both teams Katie Susie what could they have had?
18:59Well you could have had an eight
19:01Oh
19:03Courant
19:04It's a 16th century court dance
19:06Short steps forward short steps back
19:08It's a bit mincing I think you'd be quite good at this Jimmy
19:11Christmassy
19:12Merry Christmas
19:13Nice
19:14So at the end of that both teams have seven points
19:16Well done Judy
19:18Okay on to our first numbers round
19:20John Daisy your turn to pick the numbers
19:22Would you like to pick the numbers?
19:23No
19:26Two big ones please
19:27Three
19:28Three
19:29Five
19:30Four
19:31Fifty
19:32And seventy-five
19:33And the target
19:35667
19:36Okay and your time starts
19:38Now
19:50five
19:51Four
19:52One
19:53Five
19:54Five
19:56Five
19:57Five
19:58Five
19:59Six
20:00Five
20:01Five
20:02Five
20:03Five
20:04Five
20:05Five
20:06Five
20:07Five
20:08Five
20:09Five
20:10Okay so the target was 667
20:13Rob, did you get it? I got six six nine. So no Judy. Did you get it? No, Daisy?
20:20Did you get it? I got nine?
20:24Five plus four equals nine question mark
20:30Judy does 33 not two lots of three
20:35John, did you get it six six six?
20:37Six oh
20:40The number of the beast
20:42At Christmas, John, how could you how did you do it five plus four is nine?
20:48Yeah, satanic
20:51Evil six seven five and then three threes and nine. Mmm. Take it away six six six. Wow seven points to John
20:59Rachel could it be done it could if you say four times three is twelve times fifty is six hundred
21:12Yeah, and then add the seventy five. What are you saying yes for? Yeah
21:19Okay, so Rob and Judy have seven John and Daisy have fourteen points Wow
21:23And here is your teaser the words are I rub snow and the clue is the thicker the better that's I rub snow the thicker the better see after the break
21:33you know
21:50Welcome back the answer to the teaser the words were I rub snow the clue was the thicker the better it was of course
21:56unibrows
21:57So John and Daisy are in the lead they've been playing in teams so far
22:01But this game is just for Rob and Daisy so Daisy your turn to choose three vows three days. Okay, three
22:08I think this is the moment where we can get our points
22:10You're not playing
22:11And another one
22:12E U E and O and the rest the other ones
22:20Thanks for taking such an interest
22:25Another S another G wow
22:28Oh, okay, and your time starts now
22:32I
22:34I
22:36I
22:38I
22:40I
22:42I
22:44I
22:46I
22:48I
22:50I
22:52I
22:54I
22:56I
22:58I
23:00I
23:02I
23:04I
23:06I
23:08I
23:10I
23:12I
23:14I
23:16I
23:18I
23:20I
23:22I
23:24I
23:26I
23:28I
23:30I
23:32I
23:34I
23:36I
23:38I
23:40I
23:42I
23:44I
23:46I
23:48I
23:50I
23:52I
23:54I
23:56I
23:58I
24:00I
24:02I
24:08I
24:10I
24:12I
24:14I
24:16I
24:18I
24:20I
24:22I
24:24I
24:26I
24:28I
24:30I
24:32I
24:46I
24:48I
24:50I
24:52I
24:54I
24:56I
24:58I
25:00I
25:02I
25:04I
25:06I
25:08I
25:10I
25:12I
25:14I
25:16I
25:18I
25:20I
25:22I
25:24I
25:26I
25:28I
25:30I
25:34I
25:36I
25:37I
25:38Have
25:38Air
25:39Your
25:40Did you?
25:55I'm not befriended.
25:59You got snogs, OK. And Rob?
26:01I got five. Guess.
26:04Guess. Pretty good.
26:07I'm going to have to drop you home.
26:11Oh, I love this. Doesn't sound great, does it?
26:16You know, I lost my virginity in a Cleo.
26:26Five points to both teams.
26:34Nice little Christmas drive.
26:37Good.
26:38That's fine.
26:41The Bipolar Express.
26:50Katie, Susie?
26:51Neguses.
26:52What?
26:53Neguses.
26:54Neguses.
26:55Yes.
26:56They are hot toddies.
26:57Hot drinks, port sugar, lemon and spice.
26:59Perfect for Christmas.
27:00Named after Colonel Francis Negus, who created it.
27:03So, at the end of that, Rob and Judy have 12 points.
27:05John and Daisy have 19.
27:08APPLAUSE
27:10Well, it says here now it's time for John and Judy to go head-to-head in the maths, but is there any point of that?
27:19Should we just...
27:21Judy, your turn to pick the numbers.
27:23Three small and three big numbers.
27:25Three and three.
27:26Three and three.
27:27We've got balance.
27:28Here we go.
27:29We've got ten, five, three, seventy-five, one hundred and fifty.
27:34And the target, nine hundred and fifty-seven.
27:36Woo!
27:37Your time starts now.
27:42The kid clock is turning me off.
27:50Help me.
27:51What's your name?
27:52Wait, wait.
28:09OK, so the target was nine, five, seven.
28:11John, did you get it?
28:13I think I got nine, five, three.
28:15Judy, did you get it?
28:16Yeah.
28:17Rachel, take it easy.
28:18Judy's got this.
28:19OK.
28:20Why didn't Judy do it on the board?
28:25Don't point Rachel right now again.
28:34Can I just make sure that Judy can't see Rachel's clipboard,
28:37just because I think they've probably both got it.
28:38They wouldn't help.
28:39Oh, you're a petty, petty man.
28:40I just...
28:42Please keep making sure that Judy doesn't see the answers,
28:45because I would like to have the seven points.
28:48Because they are the rules.
28:49Fuck off.
28:52Now it feels like Christmas.
28:55I did...
28:56Come on, Judy.
28:57...10 times...
28:59...75.
29:00Yeah, is...
29:01Which is 750.
29:04Five and...
29:06...and eight and three.
29:08Right?
29:09Hold on.
29:10And I added a hundred.
29:11That makes what?
29:12Eight...
29:13...seventy.
29:14No, 50.
29:15Hold on.
29:17No, two times frifty.
29:24That made nine, seven, five.
29:26And then I took the eight away, and then I took away the ten.
29:30LAUGHTER
29:32Nine, fifty-seven.
29:35APPLAUSE
29:37Numbers.
29:38There's numbers.
29:39I used the numbers.
29:40Well, there isn't a two up there.
29:41Huh?
29:42Where was there a two?
29:43Who said anything about two?
29:45LAUGHTER
29:46Three times two.
29:47I don't know where...
29:48You need to sort your maths out, babes.
29:50LAUGHTER
29:51John, what did you get again?
29:52953.
29:53Go on, how did you do it for seven points?
29:55100 minus five.
29:5795.
29:58Times ten.
29:59950.
30:00Add three.
30:01953.
30:02Seven points.
30:03Oh!
30:04Sorry!
30:07I know how I've got 920.
30:08Wait, hold on.
30:09No.
30:10Ten times?
30:11No.
30:12Can I just...
30:13No.
30:14Happy New Year!
30:15Yes!
30:21Rachel, could it be done?
30:22If you say 75 plus five is 80.
30:25Yeah.
30:26100 over 50 is two.
30:28Exactly.
30:29Add two ten for 12.
30:30Ties them together for 960 and take away the three.
30:34There you go.
30:35I see it.
30:41OK, time now to go across to Dictionary Corner.
30:43Katie, what have you got for us?
30:45Er, well, Jimmy, I'm a female comedian, so men are terrified of me.
30:49I don't know why.
30:50You know, all I'm thinking when I meet a shy, introverted man in his mid-thirties
30:54is, speak up, you little simp.
30:57What do you mean you don't know how to drive?!
31:00Do you drive?
31:02I'm driven.
31:10So I'm actually, er, I'm taking a short break from dating at the moment
31:13to focus on my career as a godmother.
31:15I love being a godmother because you don't just spread your legs
31:17and become a godmother, do you?
31:20You're chosen.
31:24Right, I think I'm going to sing now.
31:26And...
31:31Now, countdown.
31:33Where would anybody want to become a godmother?
31:35Well, I'll tell you, darlings, it's the power, it's the prestige.
31:38Come with me to the bottom of the garden, let's go see the toads.
31:44Each of them used to be my boyfriend.
31:47What is one of those?
31:49A suitor, a sweetheart, a fellow or a fellow.
31:52Just make sure they're not a DJ of the techno.
31:55What's a DJ?
31:56A boy who cannot love.
31:57Now, may I introduce you to Geordie?
31:59This toad is Simon, his pits were always smelly.
32:02Little Jason here lie to come upon my belly.
32:05Racist, sexist, crude and dry, poor Charlie had a chode.
32:08And this one's just a regular toad.
32:10I'm your godmother now, listen to my tales.
32:13Eat my wordy warnings, my magic never fails.
32:16God, Mummy, Katie, Biddle Diddle Dom, I am brilliant, amazing woman.
32:22Then why aren't you married, Aunty Katie?
32:25I did sing that to my godson, Jasper, who's five.
32:42And he looked up at me and he said, Katie, do you have friends?
32:47He said, yeah, Jasper, I've got loads of friends,
32:50because I don't have any children.
32:52LAUGHTER
32:57Katie Doris, everyone.
32:59OK, so, Rob and Judy have 12 points, John and Daisy have 26.
33:05Wow, sad.
33:08And here is your teaser, the words are Elf's tits.
33:11The clue is, which way are they leaning?
33:14That's Elf's tits, which way are they leaning?
33:16See you after the break.
33:18APPLAUSE
33:22Welcome back, the answer to the teaser.
33:35The words were Elf's tits, the clue was, which way are they leaning?
33:38It was, of course, leftists.
33:40OK, before we go on, he's not on the show tonight,
33:43but he's turned up anyway.
33:44It's Joe Wilkinson.
33:45APPLAUSE
33:46Right, Jimmy.
33:47Just bought some eggnog.
33:59Cos I love eggnog, cos I love eggnog, so...
34:14What, Merry Christmas?
34:16LAUGHTER
34:17What, Merry Christmas?
34:18LAUGHTER
34:19Ooh, wuss.
34:20LAUGHTER
34:21Er...
34:22Joe...
34:23Er...
34:24Joe...
34:25Joe...
34:26Joe...
34:27Joe...
34:28Although, although, it can make my head swell up.
34:31LAUGHTER
34:33Basically, I'll be honest, I'm eggnog intolerant.
34:37LAUGHTER
34:38Well, it's Christmas, so you can't not have eggnog, can you?
34:41LAUGHTER
34:42You weren't drinking quite a lot of eggnog there.
34:45Fabio, do you want to bring on a bit more eggnog?
34:47Come out, eggnog!
34:48LAUGHTER
34:49Thank you, mate.
35:02LAUGHTER
35:05Joe, what's going on?
35:10Oh, you're wondering why, um, Fabio brings his eggnog in his motorcycle sidecar?
35:16Yeah.
35:17Cos he's a fucking idiot.
35:19LAUGHTER
35:20What's...what's happening?
35:24Oh, John's upset.
35:25Oh, right, yeah.
35:26I know, it's John's upset.
35:27I know what's going on here.
35:28You can sense when someone thinks they can drink more eggnog than me.
35:32LAUGHTER
35:33It's his gift.
35:34Well...
35:35John, ref, can you reckon you're going to drink more eggnog than me?
35:37LAUGHTER
35:38APPLAUSE
35:39It's his gift.
35:40Well...
35:41APPLAUSE
35:42John, ref, can you reckon you're going to drink more eggnog than me?
35:45John, ref, can you reckon you can drink more eggnog than me?
35:47Well, all right, let's put your money where your mouth is.
35:49Let's play a little game I like to call
35:51Can you drink more eggnog than me?
35:53LAUGHTER
35:54Can you drink more eggnog than me?
35:56Can you drink more eggnog than me?
35:58APPLAUSE
35:59It's a simple game, John.
36:00It's to see if you can drink more eggnog than me.
36:01LAUGHTER
36:02When you're ready, Jimmy.
36:03Gentlemen, your time starts now.
36:04CHEERING
36:05I can feel a boil swelling up on the back of my head.
36:07Hold on.
36:08I can feel a boil swelling up on the back of my head.
36:09That is not good.
36:10There's a...
36:11Come on, John.
36:12It's gritty.
36:13It's gritty.
36:14It's gritty.
36:15John, you haven't even done the first one.
36:16Come on, John.
36:17Come on, John.
36:18Come on, John.
36:19Come on, John.
36:20Come on, John.
36:21Oh.
36:22John, you haven't even done the first one.
36:24Come on, John.
36:25Come on, John.
36:26John, come on, John.
36:27Ah, don't let me slow you down, John.
36:28Ah, there's puns in there.
36:29Well, it's puns in there.
36:30This is a very expensive suit.
36:34There's pudding.
36:37Agh.
36:39There's puns in there.
36:41Oh, it's puns in there.
36:42No, it depends.
36:43Little man...
36:44Oh, sovänd button use that!
36:46Look, that you are wondering ...
36:47By those�대ぁ?
36:49Puss in the eggnog. There's some puss in the eggnog.
36:53There's some puss in the eggnog.
36:56I'm going to warn you, there's puss in the eggnog.
36:59There's puss in my hair!
37:01Do you know what? To be fair to John, there is some puss in the eggnog.
37:07Do you know what? Let's call it a draw. There's puss in the eggnog.
37:10We'll play it now. Let's play Countdown!
37:19OK, on with the game. We were playing Countdown before whatever the fuck that was.
37:24Rob and Judy, your turn to choose.
37:27Right, here we go.
37:29Are you going to help? I'll have a little sit down.
37:32Are you doing it, Jo? Yeah.
37:34Can I get two vowels, please?
37:36Absolutely. Thank you, Jesus.
37:38I and an E, all right? Yes, please, yeah.
37:41Three consonants. Three consonants seems too many.
37:44P-M-W-O-N-H.
37:48Or an H. P-H.
37:50What's one of them? Three of them?
37:52Yeah, three of them, please.
37:53That could be M's or W's. It's up to you.
37:56I like it when Rachel does it.
37:58That could be one of those.
38:00Where's the P? You had a P earlier.
38:02Where's the P gone?
38:03Where's the P?
38:04It's absolutely none of your fucking music.
38:08Write down your shit and I'll do mine.
38:11Can I just confirm what we've got there?
38:13Can you read those letters to me?
38:15Umla, ouch.
38:16Umla.
38:20A vowel, please.
38:21A vowel.
38:22Are we not having the P then?
38:23He's gone wrong.
38:24He's gone wrong.
38:25All right, OK.
38:28What's that one?
38:29Another bloody umla.
38:32OK, your time starts now.
38:33I don't know what to spell it or subtract it.
38:37I don't know what to spell it or subtract it.
38:38LAUGHTER
38:39Rob, how many?
38:40Four.
38:41Four?
38:42Judy, how many?
38:43Four.
38:44Four.
38:45Four.
38:46Home is my four.
38:47John, how many?
38:48Five.
38:49Ooh.
38:50OK.
38:51David, how many?
38:52Four.
38:53Four?
38:54Judy, how many?
38:55Four.
38:56Home is my four.
38:57John, how many?
38:58Five.
38:59Ooh.
39:00OK, Daisy?
39:01Five, if that's definitely a W.
39:03OK, Rob?
39:04C-O-M-E, calm.
39:05As in all ye faithful.
39:06All right, John, your five?
39:07Chime.
39:08Chime!
39:09Ooh, and Christmassy.
39:11Daisy, your five?
39:12Oh, I'm Christmassy.
39:14Daisy? Five, if that's definitely a W.
39:18OK, Rob. I've got C-O-M-E, come. As in all ye faithful.
39:22Jon, your five? Chime.
39:25Chime? Oh, and Christmassy.
39:28Daisy, your five? I got hole.
39:31You got one?
39:33Hole. Can you stop trying to seduce me for this?
39:37Hole with a W. With an L?
39:41Oh, well, what's that then?
39:43Oh, gosh, now I've got nothing.
39:46I'm afraid at Christmas there's no L.
39:48Oh!
39:50Joan Richardson.
39:55Five points to Jon and Daisy.
39:58Clap around.
40:00Katie, Susie, could they have done me better?
40:02Just fives. Yeah.
40:04Could have had homey. OK.
40:06Jon and Daisy are in the lead with 31 points.
40:09APPLAUSE
40:14And here is your final teaser. The words are
40:16Elf sex ad, and the clue is, it's very good for you.
40:19That's elf sex ad, it's very good for you.
40:21See you after the break.
40:22APPLAUSE
40:38Welcome back. The answer to the teaser. The words were Elf sex ad. The clue was, it's very good for you. It was, of course, flaxseed. OK, before we go on, as it's Christmas, let's play a quick game. I'll read out the first line of some classic Christmas cracker jokes.
40:41All you have to do is buzz in when you think you know the punchline. Could not be simpler. Five bonus points up on offer. So, let's play Pull My Cracker.
40:58So, let's play Pull My Cracker.
41:05Annoyingly, it does that when I say Pull My Cracker.
41:12Probably best if no-one says it.
41:13Pull my.
41:14Cracker!
41:15Cracker!
41:23Ouch!
41:25OK.
41:26What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
41:28Father Christmas.
41:30And boys, er...
41:33Boxing Day.
41:36Any other guesses?
41:37Letter Y.
41:38That's the right boring answer.
41:40Yeah.
41:41Wow.
41:45Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
41:49Because he doesn't believe in Western medicine.
41:55That is the right, yeah, that's the right answer, yeah.
41:59Because he's in good health.
42:01Yeah, I'll give you that.
42:03Nice.
42:08What is white and minty?
42:11My ass.
42:12Jimmy Carter.
42:15LAUGHTER
42:18Sorry, Judy.
42:19Judy?
42:20I was just going to say Jimmy.
42:21What, white and minty?
42:22Yeah.
42:24Yeah, that's exactly how I imagine him tasting.
42:30How's your son?
42:36Oh, Judy's gone.
42:37A polo bear?
42:38A polo bear?
42:39A polo bear is the right answer.
42:40Oh.
42:41Yeah.
42:42OK, John got the most right, so John gets the points.
42:43Oh.
42:44Oh, for Pete's sake.
42:45Oh, my God.
42:46APPLAUSE
42:47OK, time for our final letters game.
42:48John, Daisy, your turn to choose.
42:49Er, you're welcome to choose.
42:50Er, you're welcome to choose, but if you're just going to do that three vowels, five consonants shit, I might do it myself.
43:06You do it yourself.
43:07Yep.
43:08Can we have four vowels and five consonants, please?
43:11LAUGHTER
43:12We've got A, O, E, U, D, T, B, L, and D.
43:18And a bonus T.
43:21LAUGHTER
43:22OK, and your time starts now.
43:26Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.
43:33And since we've no place to go, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.
43:40Oh, the fire is slowly dying, and my dear, we're still good-bye.
43:47Oh, God.
43:48It's quiet.
43:49Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.
43:55It's filled up in a nightclub in Essex.
44:05Oh, God.
44:07Daisy, how many?
44:08Four.
44:09Four.
44:10OK, John, how many?
44:11Er, seven.
44:12How many, Rob?
44:13Five.
44:14Five.
44:15Judy?
44:16Five.
44:17Your four, Daisy?
44:18Dubed.
44:21Rob, your five.
44:22Tubed.
44:24Tubed.
44:27It's been a bit fine.
44:28Is that good?
44:29Yes.
44:31Yes.
44:32Judy, your five.
44:33Adult.
44:34Adult.
44:35John for the seventh.
44:36D-doubled.
44:37Whoa.
44:38Oh, my goodness.
44:39Seven points to John.
44:40Wow.
44:41I've got to get Jimmy.
44:42I've got to get Jimmy.
44:43I've got to get Jimmy.
44:44On the count of three.
44:45One, two, three.
44:46Hail Jimmy!
44:47Oh, no.
44:48Oh, no.
44:53Katie, could they have done any better?
44:54Yeah, they could have had buttload for eight.
44:56Deadbolt.
44:57Is that a real word?
44:58Buttload?
44:59It is now.
45:00It is now.
45:01LAUGHTER
45:02OK.
45:03So, Rob and Judy have 12 points.
45:05John and Daisy have 43.
45:08APPLAUSE
45:10CHEERING
45:12Now, as it's Christmas, you know we always do this on the show, yeah?
45:15Yeah.
45:16The conundrum at Christmas is worth 32 points.
45:18Yes!
45:19That's always been the tradition on this show.
45:21LAUGHTER
45:22So, for 32 points, here's today's crucial Christmas Countdown Conundrum.
45:38Oh, great, well, I'm sorry.
45:41It's right there.
45:45R, E.
45:47Come on, it's right there.
45:48You can see it.
45:49I can see it, but I can't say it.
45:52They go round and round.
45:54Merry cycle.
45:55Summer cycle.
45:56Summer cycle.
45:57Summer cycle.
45:58Come on.
45:59Go round and round.
46:00Come on.
46:02Come on.
46:03Carousels.
46:04Carousels.
46:05Yeah.
46:07CHEERING
46:12Merry Christmas.
46:18So, the final scores are...
46:20John and Daisy have 43 points.
46:21John and Daisy have 43 points.
46:22Well done.
46:23Which means our winners, Rob and Judy, with 44 points.
46:26It's a Christmas miracle.
46:31Congratulations.
46:32You're now the proud owner of this.
46:33The Countdown.
46:34Elf upon a mantelpiece.
46:36APPLAUSE
46:37Thanks to all our panelists, our wonderful studio audience.
46:39And for all of you for working at home.
46:40That's it for us.
46:41Good night.
46:42And Merry Christmas.
46:43CHEERING
46:48CHEERING
46:49I'm sick.
46:50And Merry Christmas.
46:51Thank you, school.
46:52Thank you so much for coming.
46:56And haveversed.
46:59Thank you so much.
47:01Thank you so much for coming.
47:03All right.
47:06Thanks for coming.
47:07I'll see you later.
47:08Quas you excited.
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