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00:00You fucking bitch!
00:02You're being so mean.
00:04She got someone executed. She doesn't feel sorry about it.
00:07She should have kept her fucking mouth shut.
00:08You will never be free of me until both of my children are safe.
00:12That is my constant prayer for Nicole.
00:15You will not let her go because I love her.
00:18This isn't love. You can't love.
00:21You don't know how.
00:23Love Matthew doesn't want her, baby.
00:25Well, it was just a second.
00:27That's a sin.
00:27Sinner. Sinner. Sinner. Sinner. Sinner.
00:32And to refuse God's blessings of a child
00:36is among the gravest of sins.
00:40Sinner. Sinner. Sinner. Sinner.
00:45Natalie!
00:48Oh, no! Oh, no!
00:52No! No!
00:57Do you hear it?
01:26I didn't at first.
01:29Not for a few weeks.
01:35Don't you hear it?
01:38Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
01:42Ooh, heaven is a place on earth.
01:46Right?
01:46They say in heaven, love comes first.
01:52We'll make heaven a place on earth.
01:56Ooh, heaven is a place on earth.
02:01Don't you hear it?
02:04If you will,
02:06you'll hear it.
02:08You'll hear it.
02:09They don't give of Matthew anything that might hurt the baby.
02:24There's no future for her in any case.
02:27There's too much bleeding, they say.
02:31Her brain is gone, they say.
02:36But Matthew is just a vessel now.
02:38And the baby is all that matters.
02:41I suppose it's all that ever mattered.
02:43The doctors and nurses and orderlies and technicians come and go.
03:05I stay 32 days so far.
03:13I will be here until there's a baby.
03:19This is your walking partner, Aunt Lydia said.
03:22Where else would you be?
03:24Oh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
03:31Oh, heaven is a place on earth.
03:35They say in heaven, love comes first.
03:39Heaven is a place on earth.
04:01Heaven is a place on earth.
04:09The wives come to pray with Mrs. Calhoun.
04:30Please, God, protect this child.
04:33Bring forth your miracle.
04:34We've been so faithful and good.
04:41Heaven is a place on earth, dear God.
04:47They smell of powder and soap.
04:50They smell like the ceremony.
04:53Like Serena Joy when she held me down.
04:59It's hard not to fucking gag.
05:04When Aunt Lydia brings everyone to pray,
05:17it smells like sweat.
05:19Like onions and oranges and fish from the grocery store.
05:24It smells like tape and pus from Janine's wounds,
05:29still healing after whatever Matthew did to her.
05:31I will be here until there's a baby.
05:56I will be here until there's a baby.
06:01However long that takes.
06:10This room has a smell.
06:12Citrus and ammonia.
06:15It would have been in spray bottles before at the grocery store.
06:18Or Bed Bath & Beyond.
06:20And then mostly from Amazon.
06:23When there were all those things.
06:26Before the internet raids.
06:28Before the decency codes.
06:30And all the hangings.
06:33She has a smell too.
06:35A kind of sweet decay.
06:37Like wet leaves.
06:39Like a dirty scalp.
06:41Like her shit.
06:43Soft.
06:44Unformed.
06:46Blameless.
06:46She smells like a baby.
06:50She smells like a baby.
06:50She smells like a baby.
07:16They're not real, you know.
07:37They're not.
07:38They're not.
07:38They're not.
07:38They're not.
07:38They're not.
07:46They're not.
07:55They're not.
07:56They're not.
08:05They're not.
08:38Maybe I'm crazy. This is some new kind of therapy. I wish that were true. Then I could get better and this would go away. I could leave this room. This would all end.
10:18This has to end.
10:20This has to end.
10:22This has to end.
10:26This has to end.
10:28This has to end.
10:30This has to end.
10:32This has to end.
10:34This has to end.
10:36This has to end.
10:38This has to end.
10:40This has to end.
10:42This has to end.
10:44This has to end.
10:46This has to end.
10:48This has to end.
10:50This has to end.
10:52This has to end.
10:54This has to end.
10:56This has to end.
10:58Dear God, please watch over this child.
11:20Hey, a priest.
11:22Let him hear your devotion, girls.
11:26Your heavenly powers overcome sickness and infirmity.
11:31Dear God, please watch over this child.
11:35You gather your lambs in arms and carry them in your bosom.
11:40Dear God, please watch over this child.
11:44Of Howard, put yourself together, please. Hair out of your face.
11:49Nothing is uglier than vanity of Howard.
11:55That's better, dear.
12:02Look upon us with eyes of mercy, O Lord.
12:10It's okay. It's not so bad.
12:12May this child grow in the grace and knowledge of our heavenly father.
12:17To him be the glory.
12:19All right, girls. Let's give them room to do their work.
12:26Come on.
12:28Excuse me, ladies. What challenges has the Lord given us this morning?
12:33Her pressure's creeping up again, 145 over 110.
12:36Push 200 milligrams of libetalol and draw off her labs. Why count first?
12:40Now, how's our patient?
12:47Feed the heart rate is stable.
12:48Oh, praise be. Let's keep it that way.
12:51What's happening?
13:01She's having seizures.
13:08If you're lucky, you may get to see her shed herself.
13:12You are a heartless, heartless girl, Joseph.
13:23He who is most merciful, please hear our prayers and save this child.
13:29Please, God.
13:31Please, God, let them die.
13:34Please, God.
13:36Let them die.
13:39Please, God.
13:42Let them die.
13:46Lovely.
13:52Lovely.
13:53Okay.
13:54Clean that up, please.
13:58Excuse me, doctor. May I ask what you're doing?
14:09A saphenous cut down.
14:11I am placing a small tube into the femoral vein.
14:16Basically, it's a fancy name to get in more fluids.
14:19It should help control the seizures, and our little miracle needs plenty of fluids.
14:27Oh, of course.
14:28Tie and anchor that suture closed, please.
14:31Don't worry about the scar.
14:33Glory be with you.
14:34Ah, glowing grace.
14:40The miracles God allows these doctors to perform.
14:44It's simply awe-inspiring.
14:45Well, under his idea.
14:57Hold on a minute.
14:59Pardon?
15:01I'm sorry.
15:02Um...
15:03Lydia?
15:04May I go home, please?
15:14No.
15:15You may not.
15:16Ridiculous.
15:17Please?
15:18You may go home when your walking partner goes home.
15:27You certainly owe her that consideration after the way you have treated her.
15:31I know.
15:32I know.
15:33I know I was shitty.
15:34Of Joseph?
15:36All you girls, just awful.
15:41I know.
15:42I know.
15:43I...
15:44I don't feel well.
15:48Oh, Joseph, I believe in you.
15:58God never gives us more than we can handle.
16:03Are you sure?
16:05Pray without ceasing.
16:08That's all we can do.
16:11Yeah.
16:12That's it, Lydia.
16:16Yeah, that's it, Lydia.
16:41When you have the music, please don't hurt.
16:55Please don't...
16:57Please don't...
17:02Please don't...
17:04Hmm.
17:34.
17:52.
17:54.
17:57.
18:02I don't know.
18:32I don't know.
19:02I don't know.
19:32I don't know.
19:42Hi.
19:44Hi.
19:48Hi.
19:50What are you doing here?
19:54Got infected.
19:56We have to do it in a procedure.
19:58I haven't been praying for her.
20:12Not really.
20:14Not really.
20:16Okay.
20:18She had that seizure.
20:22Do you think that was your fault?
20:28I don't.
20:30Obviously.
20:32Do you think she can hear me?
20:40I don't know.
20:42I don't know.
20:44I don't know.
20:50Hi, Natalie.
20:52It's Janine.
20:54I just want you to know that I forgive you.
21:02And I want you to get better.
21:06She can't get better.
21:12I can wish for it anyway.
21:16I want you to find peace.
21:26Is that better?
21:28Janine.
21:38I know how we can help her.
21:42Huh?
21:44I know how we can help her.
21:46Huh?
21:48No, Janine.
22:12It's the right thing to do.
22:16Listen to me.
22:18We have to end it.
22:22So you're going to kill her.
22:24And the baby.
22:28What did they ever do to you?
22:32Janine, we have to.
22:36We have to do something.
22:38Don't do that.
22:40She is one of us.
22:46Okay.
22:48Okay.
22:50Okay.
22:52Okay.
23:06Okay.
23:08Okay.
23:10Okay.
23:14Okay.
23:15Okay.
23:16No, give that to me.
23:38When did you get to be so selfish?
23:42Everything is always about you now.
23:45Your problems.
23:46Get the fuck out of here.
23:56You're different.
24:02I don't like it.
24:03The lungs aren't fully formed yet and won't be for a few weeks, but we can take care of
24:29it in the NICU, if need be.
24:36They're not going to come in here, are they?
24:38Those sick girls.
24:39They're not sick.
24:41They're here for their manarchy exam.
24:42They've flowered.
24:45How lovely.
24:45That will be Hannah soon.
24:50Too soon.
24:51It'll be a few years before they're ready to have babies at their own.
24:54He doesn't mean emotionally ready.
24:59He means they track their pelvic development.
25:02She's got prominent veins.
25:07Easy to slice, I think.
25:09His aren't bad either.
25:12Harder to see.
25:16If I only get one kill, I should start at the top.
25:20Make it count.
25:20Meany.
25:27Meany.
25:30Meany.
25:35Mo.
25:35I'm sorry, I couldn't get here sooner.
25:38No, that's all right.
25:39Thank you for coming.
25:40Of course.
25:41I've been praying for you.
25:42And I for you.
25:43Our precious babies.
25:45Commander, we can discuss the rest of the lab tests in my office.
25:54Mrs. Waterford, may I speak to you for a moment?
26:01You don't want to bother with that.
26:05I'll catch up with you downstairs.
26:16Yeah, self-joseph.
26:18Come closer.
26:20It's a secret.
26:27What?
26:35You're not a while.
26:43No.
26:46June.
26:53No!
26:54No!
26:55No!
26:56No!
26:57No!
26:57No!
26:57No!
26:59No!
26:59No!
27:01God!
27:02Get in!
27:03You're out of your mind.
27:05This has to end.
27:10This has to end.
27:14You were supposed to be one of the strong ones.
27:16This has to end.
27:17Please.
27:20Thanks for that.
27:22Come on.
27:23I don't know.
27:53Mrs. Wallerford said you cut yourself.
28:10Let me see.
28:12It's all right.
28:20Ouch.
28:21You need stitches.
28:23Come.
28:52That's it.
29:02It's a clean slice.
29:04Just a few more.
29:07You doing okay?
29:11You shouldn't bother trying to fix me or you're just going to report me.
29:15You're right.
29:19I shouldn't.
29:35I took an oath.
29:37First do no harm.
29:38Am I harming you?
29:42You're torturing her.
29:45She's not my patient.
29:47The child is.
29:48That's bullshit.
29:50It's her.
29:51Hold still.
29:52My mother was a doctor.
30:05She treated pregnant women.
30:10And she always put her patients, the women, first.
30:18Things were different when she practiced medicine.
30:22Did she get out?
30:25No.
30:25I'm sure you miss her.
30:29I'm sure you miss her.
30:33Where did you practice?
30:35Somerville.
30:36For the most part.
30:37Holly Maddox.
30:47Well.
30:49Now I know why you took a swipe at Mrs. Waterford.
30:53Dr. Maddox.
30:55Dr. Maddox, she was scary.
30:57Mm-mm-mm.
31:00Yeah.
31:02She is.
31:05Was.
31:08I don't actually know.
31:18You should know I was going to kill Serena.
31:23And her.
31:27And you, too.
31:35I warned them.
31:37I said, you can't leave that girl in here praying for months on end.
31:46The brain atrophies in isolation and breeds despair.
31:55It's fine.
31:57How long have you had suicidal thoughts?
32:02Homicidal.
32:03Well, doing any of the things that you said would put you on the wall.
32:07And you know it.
32:10So, how long?
32:17I don't know.
32:17Since I realized I probably won't see my daughters again.
32:29You feel hopeless.
32:38How should I feel?
32:41Doctor, she's someone's child, too.
33:00Well, I honor the handmaid's life
33:04by saving her child.
33:11How will you honor your daughters?
33:18Try not to get that wet under his eye.
33:30I love you.
33:37I love you.
33:39I love you.
33:46I love you.
33:48I love you.
33:55I love you.
34:02I love you.
34:04I love you.
34:11I love you.
34:18I love you.
34:20I love you.
34:27I love you.
34:29I love you.
34:36I love you.
34:38I love you.
34:39I love you.
34:40I love you.
34:41I love you.
34:43I love you.
34:44I love you.
34:45I love you.
34:49I love you.
34:50PHONE RINGS
35:20Okay, take that. Here we go, gentlemen.
35:32Yeah. Okay.
35:38Okay.
35:41Okay.
35:50Praise be.
36:10I take him.
36:11She's not going to last much longer. Stitch her up. You could use the practice.
36:29Yes, sir.
36:29I take him.
37:29Can I carry that for you?
37:51Sure.
37:58Did you just have a baby?
37:59No.
38:04I was visiting a friend.
38:06Oh.
38:08Is she really sick?
38:13Yeah.
38:13Well, the Lord will heal her.
38:19You just have to pray hard enough.
38:21Raise me.
38:23I'm here because they said I can have babies.
38:26Later.
38:27Not right now.
38:29After I get married.
38:30Is that what you want?
38:37Of course.
38:39So much.
38:44Rose?
38:44Love you.
38:46Bye.
39:00Bye.
39:05Bye.
40:05She's still alive.
40:13Not for much longer, as I understand.
40:17God will call her home soon enough.
40:20It's been quite an ordeal.
40:21And Lydia.
40:22I need to stay with her, if I may.
40:32Oh.
40:34That would be very kind of you.
40:37Go and grace her, Joseph.
40:38I'll try.
40:43I'll try.
40:43I'll try.
40:44Let's go.
41:14This would be the fruit, dear.
41:16May the Lord open.
41:21The doctor said the procedure went well?
41:26Yeah, he said.
41:29I mean, all thanks to God.
41:33May his healing light shine upon you.
41:42I brought you something.
41:44Nothing wrong with wanting to look your best.
41:55Let me help you.
42:04Here, take this off.
42:06I look like a pirate.
42:33Indeed.
42:38Space pirate.
42:40Hey, it's okay.
42:59It's all right.
43:02I'm here.
43:07I'll be right here.
43:19I'm sorry I was such a shit to you.
43:21I got lost, I think.
43:33Not that that's a good excuse, but...
43:36I don't really have another reason.
43:41They just take everything from you, you know?
43:48They really do.
43:52Oh, your son.
44:01Oh, your son.
44:02He's beautiful.
44:05Oh.
44:07He's...
44:07He is beautiful.
44:10And everyone is praying for him, but I wouldn't worry, seriously, because I think he's just like you.
44:23And he doesn't deserve to grow up in this place, but he doesn't deserve to grow up in this place.
44:40He deserves to be free.
44:42He deserves to be free.
44:46They all deserve to be free.
44:52So, Natalie...
44:55I'm going to get them out.
45:08I'm going to get out as many children as I can.
45:13I don't really know how yet, but...
45:15I swear to you...
45:25I'm going to get them out.
45:33Because Gilead should know how this feels.
45:41It's their turn to hurt.
45:53All right.
45:55It's okay.
45:56It's all right.
46:05Baby, do you know what that's worth?
46:07Oh, heaven is a place on ground.
46:17Do you remember that song?
46:18They say in heaven...
46:19They say in heaven...
46:28Love comes first.
46:37We'll make heaven a place on earth.
46:42When the night falls down...
46:50I wait for you...
46:52And you come around...
46:55And the world's alive
46:59With the sound of kids on the street outside
47:25Laugh
47:33Eough
47:37Eough
47:43Eough
47:49Eough
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