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00:00Hey, I've never had like a game for Dakota, ever.
00:06Really?
00:07She's lying, she's freaking lying.
00:09I'm not lying.
00:10You also told me that you kept inviting him over
00:13to your house.
00:15I literally would've only invited him over
00:16to let him talk to me and to cry it out or whatever.
00:20Cry it out and then fuck.
00:23No, no.
00:25I'm telling you, I would never even go there.
00:27I would never.
00:28Well, you should've never sent him the picture.
00:30I would never, you're right.
00:31You should've, that is so inappropriate.
00:33I actually wish that you would've did that
00:36to my husband instead of my own daughter.
00:39I never had interest in Dakota, I did a stupid thing.
00:42You're a shitty friend.
00:44You're running my appointment.
00:46Okay.
00:47Okay, thank you.
00:48Bye.
00:50Clearly she remembers his memory loss.
00:52She's freaking lying.
00:53She's Dory.
00:54She's lying, she's just like Dakota.
00:56She is.
00:57I mean, you could hear her lie, like it's funny.
00:59I know, she's stumbling on her work.
01:00I do, I just, I, no, shut up.
01:05We can hear your lying, just say it.
01:07It's giving me a headache.
01:09Hi.
01:10He was asleep until I picked him up.
01:12Ah, hello.
01:14After a stagecoach, I did have like a sliver of hope maybe for us.
01:20But now that this came out, I feel very foolish.
01:24I can't help to think of the quote, like, fool me once, shame on you.
01:27Fool me twice, shame on me.
01:29My mom, my dad, my entire family hates Dakota now.
01:32This is the nail in the coffin.
01:33No matter how much I wanted this, I will never settle for that, ever.
01:38I dropped off Dakota from your house, and he was like, he thinks you guys could get there.
01:46I said, you will never get there.
01:47You guys need to be done, because you will always question him.
01:50He's always going to question you, and there's just too much damage there.
01:54He like, makes me feel like it's my fault.
01:56Well, of course, that's what narcissists do.
01:59We know that you have faults.
02:02We all have faults.
02:03But the thing is, it's like every freaking week, it's something new, and it all comes
02:08from his end.
02:09With everything that comes out of his mouth, it's like, one right after another, he's the
02:14common denominator.
02:15Like, I think you just deserve so much better.
02:18Yeah, you deserve happiness.
02:19Dakota's not it.
02:20You haven't been happy for three years.
02:22Yeah.
02:23I don't think any mom wants to be alone.
02:26With three children, I want change.
02:28Like, I want out of this toxic cycle, because at this point, I've seen enough betrayal and
02:33lies that I don't want things to get messy when it comes to co-parenting.
02:36I can't do this.
02:37Like, I can't live like this anymore.
02:58Try me, you receive, I'll bring you to your knees.
03:02Baby, you're gonna believe me.
03:04Her bones are the right way.
03:12Nine to nine to ten to ten to ten to ten and to be on screen.
03:15Don't pass.
03:16Nine to ten to ten to ten challenge.
03:24An.
03:26hinx и яични.
03:27Н.
03:28В, В, В, В, В.
03:30you can live a life so fabulous all day all day so fabulous with the one you love so
03:42hello with the one you trust so happy birthday thank you so much don't want to like take up
03:49too much of your day i just wanted to kind of debrief a little bit on this weekend oh yeah
03:55how are you feeling press was horrendous yeah that was that was very unprofessional what
04:02happened with you and marciano nothing nothing happened on my end
04:06um well apparently i have a cease and desist against me so i'm not able to talk on that
04:14pull it up it's not hard i mean it was such an awkward weekend like all of you are treating
04:19me this way and like being so bitchy towards me without knowing what you're talking about
04:26and having all the facts i'm just feeling overall just like ostracized from the group definitely
04:32taken aback by how cold everyone was during press and i just overnight became this liar and villain
04:41yeah that hurt i think you know it took you to get to a very vulnerable place
04:48for me to understand let me say this listening to taylor talk about how she was like you know what
04:56vulnerability comes at a price if you're going to open up this way like you're opening up your life
05:02to scrutiny and to like opinions right it's a lot it's a lot to be like watch and then you're judged
05:08for it and not that i really like cared there's a point but like it's just heavy it's really heavy
05:14i'm kind of in a similar position and i know how that feels and that sucks and it it was the first
05:21time in a while with taylor where i was kind of like you know what i feel bad i am jealous of taylor
05:26and the grace that she's given while going through all the hard things that she's going through
05:32and feeling like i haven't been given that same understanding but there's a level to which
05:38i fault myself because i'm not as open and i do suppress a lot of my trauma that could be
05:45helping and benefiting others by sharing that so yeah that's something that i'm really working
05:49through right now because that's harder for me well how do you feel about just putting all of this
05:54to rest i'm willing to you know squash whatever i can simply because i'm like i i do understand i
06:04haven't been there to defend myself and you haven't heard my side so i get that and i'll give
06:09you grace for that what if i invited all the women would you feel comfortable then i like that idea
06:16let's all get together to talk in my mind i'm like that seems like the only solution i just need to
06:23apologize for my part like going with zero expectations i mean i think that's great i think
06:29that you do care so deeply and it can you know make it hurt more that's that's what sucks because
06:36then making up is that much more vulnerable agreed because if it's not received or it's not
06:44um taken in the way you intended then it just feels like a slap in the face you know
06:50oh my gosh this is looking so good i love it today i'm having a grand opening event for my school
07:13jay-z academy when the marciano scandal first came out i was so terrified that it was going to ruin
07:18my image my businesses take away jobs from people i was really spiraling and just being in this moment
07:25i'm so grateful and it really does show that if you are willing to own your mistakes and get better
07:30and get stronger the people that you love will stick by you joby things out of your mouth
07:35even though things with jordan and i have been super up and down the end of our 90-day separation is
07:42coming up and we need to make a decision soon and if it was up to jordan we would have been back
07:46together already so i'm feeling a lot of pressure and i'm not sure what i'm going to do yet
07:50it looks amazing in here
08:00oh my god this is beautiful i feel like i have like imposter syndrome right now i'm like am i
08:10supposed to be here but i love doing stuff like this with the girls it reminds me and hopefully
08:17them like why we became friends in the first place if people would just sit down and have those
08:22hard conversations shed some light on each other's perspectives we might be unstoppable
08:27okay question would you have a conversation with demene you know i don't like her i know
08:33but it's like i felt like you were starting to see what we were all seeing at the reunion and then
08:38it was like complete 180 i see what you're seeing but i also think people aren't seeing what she's
08:44seeing she's never heard anyone else out so why don't you hear her out i just think like life is
08:48too short like this i know life is too short it is people shit damn it i am so desperate to get
08:57this group back together to what it was because look at everything that we've gotten because of
09:02this group the genuine friendships the love the support the empowerment and if we can't sit down
09:09and come back to what it was it's gone it's dead i guess i'm just hoping for the best like i
09:14literally just like one all just to go in a room and like hug each other and be like please can we
09:19all just feel the love like holy shit hello hello how are you how are you doing i'm so exhausted
09:31when i go to bed that i like fall asleep i get it and i know taylor gets it too you look good like
09:35they all do like props to you so i kind of had an idea and i wanted to know how you guys felt about
09:42it okay demi was open to just not i don't know if a discussion is the right word but like get to
09:47the bottom of this squash shit and move on i do feel like after the reunion i was able to see
09:54the side of whitney that i first became friends with and i honestly really warmed my heart to see
10:00her and michaela hug it out progress let's come on
10:03i'm not sure what demi's motivation is but i'm willing to hear whitney out for the greater good
10:11what is uh demi's like agenda overall i think she just wants to feel heard
10:17it's hard because i feel like she is so so good at digging herself out of a hole like she'll do a
10:21shitty thing and then be like well i did this shady thing because i think with demi she gets
10:26very defensive and then it turns into like attack but i would hope everyone could get to that place
10:33to share their feelings and feel heard and then same for demi yeah but demi also needs to listen
10:38i understand that i think the whole point of this is to get to the truth and like instead of the he
10:42said she said i agree like we're here to hear the truth and that's it yeah so and also if we don't
10:48hear any accountability it's gonna be the same as you or we're like why just show up then yeah
10:51i get it
10:53i get it
10:55be careful what you wish for
10:57might not be what you think it is
11:01be careful what you wish for
11:03be careful what you wish for
11:07be careful what you wish for
11:09ready
11:11oh
11:13yeah ready go
11:15yeah okay there it's mom let's see come in hello how are you good how's it going good um i wanted
11:28you to help me look at i did my mediation you finally did it good i'm so glad right now i think
11:36it's very important for dakota and i to come up with a concrete plan for custody in writing of what
11:41this is what we are and what happens from here on out i actually don't even really talk to him when
11:46we do like pick up and drop offs this is a plan for our child and his best interest well taylor i'm
11:52glad that you took the initiative to contact the attorney and finally set some boundaries i have no
11:58choice we're done i was like there's between you and i there's things like obviously we've treated
12:04each other like period sure but this is not about you when i this is about my mom's friend you
12:09not only screwed me over you screwed over my family yeah but she treated you really good i just
12:14don't know how he could not take responsibility for this whole thing so are you gonna still do the
12:22baby blessing i'd like to i mean i wanted dakota to kind of plan it out but he's not even filming
12:28right now he's not at all he's refusing to film if we bring the story up at all oh wow dakota and
12:33i had planned on having a baby blessing forever but in the church we can't do a baby blessing without
12:41both of us signing off and he is hiding away which sucks he says we could have like handled this
12:49privately like you you didn't have to do this and i'm like you he i hate that he always says you don't
12:54have to like it's not your problem it's his problem yeah do you think he'll be too embarrassed to show
13:00up because of all this the blessing um i don't know i don't know
13:16i think the future with demi and mom talk is just little baby steps there needs to be some
13:38sort of intervention where we all can just join hands and press that reset button and people will
13:45listen to macy like people look up to macy i look up to macy and that's why i want to have
13:50a conversation with her see what she's thinking about this idea how are you doing how's everything
13:56with your like saint george we just bought a home you excited um i like feel like i can't fully be
14:01excited yet because it's completely being renovated so it's been a little bit homeless it's been chaotic
14:06but it's like you're used to that you're used to the chaos i am i love it i'm like this isn't chaotic
14:11enough how can we mix things up yeah but speaking of things that are worse i think that the chaos
14:17needs to settle yeah no i like jesse to me it makes me so sad even though taylor is the leader of mom
14:24talk she's doing a lot of personal things in her life right now and so i do think it's a good idea
14:29for whitney and then me to head this intervention because she can represent demi and i can speak for
14:36the girls and jesse and to hopefully bring peace back to mom talk so what i guess do you suggest i
14:42think everyone needs to feel heard and seen i think jen has some things to say i would love some
14:47things to say sounds like jesse has some things to say like almost like a little testimony meeting
14:54in the church we have what's called testimony meeting where people freely willingly speak their
15:00peace and while somebody is up there on the stand the congregation isn't responding back so i'm
15:06thinking that that's what might need to happen everyone else needs to shut up while that person is
15:13doing that i'm worried about this really oh my god i don't know how i have hopes the girls feel very
15:21strongly is what i will say it's a lot but that's why i'm like i think just let's just hear it straight
15:27from the source rather than the he said she said i completely get that i think where everyone is
15:32hesitant is because to me is so good at digging herself out of holes that they're like is she
15:36actually genuine about this or is it like a way to like save face you know then that would be then
15:43then to determine yeah but at least we gave the person the opportunity yeah you know what do you
15:50think the agenda and the attention should be though it needs to be validate listen and speak
15:58your truth just as much as you want to be heard you need to listen if you don't want to be a part of
16:03it there's the door i do understand where whitney is coming from but if this intervention does not
16:10go well then i worry that things will get even more hostile and who knows what that means for mom
16:15talk pray that jesus is in the room with us god will be i'll let you read the prayer then
16:21in the beginning i don't know if we need to pray i need a seance
16:36hey hey what's up
17:03jordan and i are talking today and we're going to make a decision about
17:06what we want to do now that the 90 days are over and i'm nervous i don't feel quite ready
17:11to make this decision yet i don't know if i'm ever going to feel fully settled in this but
17:17i do know that prolonging the separation isn't going to do much and i'm probably not going to
17:22get that feeling of clarity unless i try one way or the other you know now that we're done with this
17:2890 days this has made me like realize it's like truly how much i love you thank you
17:33i want to make it work with you not out of not out of necessity but because that's what i want
17:43because i can't imagine my life without you and i believe that we both deserve to
17:49put what's gone what's happened behind us and and try to move forward from it
17:59throughout this whole separation like i've been in limbo of like really not knowing what i wanted and
18:04i'm still scared like my biggest fear is that we're gonna like move back in together and get back
18:09together and give it a chance and it's just gonna go right back to how it was and that it's easy to just
18:14get comfortable and fall back into old patterns you know so i am really scared of that if i'm
18:18being honest i personally feel like the things that i've needed to face that relate to some of my traumas
18:24from my past yeah i've faced and i've hit them head on and i'm able to begin to work through that
18:32and obviously you have been as well i had my first daughter when i was 18 years old and my ex and i
18:39decided that it would be best to get married because in utah that's what you do you know we
18:44were young and became uncompatible like fine we're done let's get divorced and i just remember feeling
18:51broken and unlovable you know i think it's why i began to control everything that i could so that
18:57i wouldn't feel that way any anymore before all of this like i didn't know why you would act certain
19:03ways or treat me certain ways you didn't know why i would pull away and avoid things and in therapy
19:08we've uncovered that like a lot of your aggression comes from childhood wounds being a dad at 17 18
19:14years old taking on that responsibility there's so much that i understand now about you and not that
19:19it makes your behavior okay but it explains it and i understand it now and it's changing which is the
19:25the most important part and then with me like my past relationships like the things i've been through
19:31made me bury my emotions so much and it made me numb and i feel like now for the first time
19:37since therapy like i'm feeling things and i'm like crying more and i'm like actually feeling
19:43human instead of like a robot so if we're both putting the work in we deserve to give it a chance
19:49and put that type of effort in to see if those changes can be long lasting
19:58and i'm willing to work through those things with you you know i want i want our family to be whole again
20:03i've seen how being avoidant has hurt my relationships and in our culture there is a lot
20:11of pressure to have like the perfect relationship the perfect family and everything's great and i
20:16think that it kind of taught me these patterns to go numb and avoid and pretend everything's okay
20:21and if i'm going to make the marriage work i need to drop that and i'm willing to do that because jordan
20:26has made so many changes and i want to make sure that i'm doing the same thing so are you ready to
20:32officially move back in i'm i'm over the moon about having a chance to
20:41take another stab at this and work on this it'll be nice for you not to live in a hotel out of a
20:45suitcase i know how hard that is you have a washing machine again thank god you're doing your own
20:50laundry though are you gonna mow the lawn no oh i'll hire someone okay i love you and i'm glad that
20:58we've been able to work through things i feel like if i hadn't have done all of the therapy work
21:15we've been doing heading into this like intervention we're doing with mom talk like i wouldn't have been
21:19able to handle it the right way like i would have probably i've just been so angry it to me but i feel
21:23like now doing the self-work i feel like i can face her in like a better way than i would have in the
21:28past it's tough to like want to forgive her like with how disgusting what she did was like yeah i
21:35guess we'll see what happens i'm a little nervous who knows i have no idea how she'll come in if
21:38she'll be angry she'll be normal i have no clue
21:58oh this is kind of cozy so pretty hide all the glasses
22:13macy and whitney worked their magic to get us all in a neutral space i'm hoping that we can all hear
22:19each other out because the last time we talked was at jesse's house and we all know how that went
22:24your bullshit lie about jess what lie about the hair drama you twisting that whole thing it's all
22:30bullshit that was true no it wasn't taylor for me i would love to get back to loyalty and love
22:37and friendship how do you feel i'm feeling oddly calm i don't know if that's good or bad i think that's good
22:45how are we gonna approach this i don't know i mean i have lots of things words so i need to say but
22:57i honestly don't know what to expect from to me i don't know if she's gonna come in guns blazing or
23:02sorry or remorseful i truly don't know i'm just going into it with an open mind hello hi oh my gosh
23:11there's a pool i'm going swimming it's looks yummy though are you guys okay to finish setting up
23:17yeah yeah because i wanted to pull you to chat yeah we're good okay perfect okay i thought we could
23:22go outside i'm choking on my food i set up a little date oh no hi hi i wanted to talk to you for a while
23:36um i'm curious how that conversation will go because i know taylor wasn't too happy with her
23:40does she feel like she's like ready to take accountability i think so okay first and foremost
23:48i want to apologize for how harsh i was and for kicking you while you were down and for taking
23:58a lot of what i was going through out on you because i genuinely was hurt with the cma post obviously my
24:06reaction was not merited and i understand that and what i did and how low i went was not okay
24:11and how i talked to your mom i apologize and i want to have a conversation with her as well like
24:16that was not okay but i did really feel hurt and i've like had some time to really think about like
24:22why i think that there's like a deep betrayal wound there because i did feel like through our friendship
24:28i had like reached out to you and like been there for you it was the emotional unavailability that i
24:32felt like i was getting from you that like hurt me and it's not an excuse like how i reacted wasn't
24:39okay it was an overreaction like beyond i definitely felt triggered by taylor and it made me realize how
24:45much my childhood had really shaped me my brother has down syndrome and he was born with lots of
24:51complications and a lot of people talk about the glass child syndrome where you grow up with a child
24:58in your family that gets a lot of the attention and their needs like come first and i'm learning that
25:04to feel like i can't take up space that alone is a trauma response there was so much more happening
25:10behind closed doors that like you know elicited a huge response in a lot of situations yeah it
25:18triggered all the beliefs of like i don't matter you're not worthy of friendship people don't see
25:24that struggle and they don't see that battle but that's been like a very real thing for me now i
25:30fully understand like watching you go through what you were going through with dakota i admittedly did
25:34not know the extent of that yeah i think i think you probably know a little bit i think most people
25:39don't know the extent especially being upset with you that's the key component because i think if that
25:44information had come to me i would have handled it differently and even like seeing you in la again
25:50and watching the show back to like really recognize that so i apologize because that
25:54wasn't fair and i have been rooting for you i do support i do want to see you win
26:01i actually appreciate you saying all that i was shocked
26:04i understand the way you feel about me and you can come at me all day but my mom had like
26:08nothing really to do with my issues that i created that was hard just because i feel like
26:14a lot of anger was taken out on her and she wasn't the issue yes she was defending me but what one
26:18wouldn't yeah you know yeah to me's apology i hope is sincere experiences like this where you're
26:26isolated alone can really humble you i've been there i appreciate you listening yeah no i appreciate
26:32you even saying sorry and of course and i mean it thank you yeah appreciate it ready by the way thank
26:39you you do too i definitely have some nerves going into today's meeting i definitely see jesse
26:48probably blowing up at demi and vice versa um hey hello worst case scenario someone leaves with
26:54their extensions ripped out of their head you've been pretty chirpy lately i have oh what are you on
27:05what are you on um i'm on a vibrate oh what did you say i mean that's great too we know that
27:14i personally don't feel like i can trust to me or whitney i think i still have a lot of boundaries and
27:20a lot of walls set up because i think mom talk has been so fragile for so long
27:28it is so weird to think about how close to me and i were we were like sisters and to see how far
27:34we've fallen is very sad hey what's up everyone if you guys don't mind joining us in the couch area
27:44if she's really truly willing to apologize i can move on and let go but i don't know what to expect
27:50okay i have some notes here because we have a little bit of an agenda today clearly things
27:55are a little contentious it's not how we started mom talk it's not what mom talk stands for so we
28:00want to maybe take steps today to improve that and maybe hope we can see eye to eye everybody and i
28:05think we have a hard time interjecting when someone else is talking so we've come up with an idea that one
28:12person will talk at a time as soon as you've spoken your truth you give it a good old snap let your light
28:19shine bright light shine but again this is to take accountability speak your truth we're not
28:25attacking that'll come later i am going in with the intention to hear people out to apologize and
28:33take accountability but it's extremely difficult to feel like you want to be vulnerable with a bunch
28:38of people that you're sitting around and you're like you haven't believed me you think i'm a liar
28:42i mean i feel like i am getting the dagger eyes from everyone and then jesse's just like not even
28:47looking at me okay i'm gonna take a leap of faith and hopefully set the tone for everyone to
28:53say what they want to say i should not have gone first macy i am so sorry for not attending your
29:06baby mama event um i did look up the definition of regret and i do regret not being there for that
29:14and i'm sorry mikaela i know that i've hurt you and i know that we used to be best friends
29:24i wasn't there for you and i handled situations in our friendship very poorly
29:29taylor you've given me so much grace and i feel like i haven't given that in return
29:34lastly i want to apologize to the group for my constant in and out in and out
29:40it's been hard staying when i don't feel like people care about my feelings but
29:46i've been selfish and i want to be more selfless
29:52can we clap yeah i'm like is it church claps amen wait you didn't break your glow stick oh okay
30:00oh there we go oh there we go all right
30:05whitney was obviously very prepared and i appreciate your apology and everything that you said
30:10and i'm sorry to everyone if i haven't always been there for you and you jen and mikaela too when
30:15you're going through um all your issues um i think like every single person is going through things
30:24and we don't realize that we all want to be heard and loved and i love you guys thank you
30:30i know it's hard there you go so strong yeah last year was um the hardest year of my life
30:40there's so much i learned about myself and that is that i'm a people pleaser there are many times
30:46where i have played the victim there are many times where i didn't want to see someone else's
30:51perspective in that victim mentality i just realized like that's not only hurting myself but
30:59it's hurting other people and i'm really sorry when it comes to jen i'm i'm really confused i think
31:09it's fair to say that she owes me personally an apology for making it seem like i did something wrong
31:14with marciano i'll just straight up say it like she was literally playing truth or dare i called her out
31:20for it she gave me crap for it and you know you screwed up i don't feel like she's really trying
31:26to seek to understand where she went wrong and take accountability so that's yeah disappointing and
31:31confusing i probably have apologies to probably everyone in this room for the way i have acted
31:37i did everyone dirty and i was alone and i felt like i deserved it in that moment everyone is going to
31:43eventually have this isolated moment and i feel like just remember that because you're going to want
31:49that same grace oh why is this for like mean girls yeah like when they do their thing and then
31:55it's like hey can we do a truss ball like mean girls i'm sorry everybody hates it i'm just so
32:06okay sorry i just wanted to start by saying that um i think in this group we've all been really
32:13close at one point or we've all been enemies at one point when i first came into mom talk i was
32:17very shy and i didn't want to like say my opinion in situations and then i feel like recently i've
32:22like found my voice but i've been kind of frankly overdoing it you know we need to give each other
32:27grace for everything we're currently going through i really want to try our best to uplift each other
32:32we're all going to be throwing curveballs and your friends should be there for you and hopefully one
32:36day we can get back to like a more positive atmosphere because this sucks ass to be honest
32:41and yeah good job i was gonna say you're the strongest one yeah yeah muscle mommy
32:50okay okay okay gosh i'll be okay let it out i don't want to
33:08i think we're all dealing with things that trigger us or that remind us of a wound that we have
33:15i feel like i've been projecting a lot miranda when you first came in the group i felt like
33:23i was so protective over taylor because i didn't get that growing up and same with whitney to macy i
33:29felt so protective over macy because i felt like you weren't being a good friend and i felt like i had
33:34to protect her and for that i'm sorry i was not trying to bully you or hurt you in any way
33:41this last year i feel like i've noticed the most change in my marriage in my friendships we all
33:49have our own past trauma and i'm trying to notice them this is the first time me and whitney have both
33:55apologized to each other and meant it and so i'm finally feeling hopeful for mom talk that we'll
34:02finally get back to why we all started this and kind of the core values of what mom talk was built on
34:08so yeah i'm excited um um this is extremely uncomfortable being in this room for obvious
34:24reasons it took me being on the out to understand what that feels like but i'm sorry for my part i'm
34:31sorry for overreactions i'm sorry for acting out of anger saying things that maybe i didn't mean
34:38or saying things that i meant in a harsh way i'm hopeful that in seeking to understand one another
34:44that we can come back to a neutral place and that's my that's my goal thank you
34:55it's hard to say whether damia is taking accountability because she genuinely sees what's
35:00wrong with her actions or because she has to however i do find a lot of the explanations still confusing
35:08and i don't know that i buy all of it this is eve show them the butt her butt says mom talk
35:17so eve is like the talking stick you only get to talk if you're holding her let's just try to keep
35:23the vibes and the mood the same is the goal okay you want to start yes okay i wanted to thank
35:31whitney for taking a lot of accountability that was very um shocking and it's just something that
35:38we've been kind of waiting for from you and so i want to say i'm proud of you for doing that and
35:43also to me we would like to hear from you and your side okay there was a lot going on behind closed
35:48doors some of which i opened up to some of you about i think the biggest thing for me that's triggering
35:55right now is not feeling believed and not feeling like people truly want to understand there's a lot
36:01we didn't know so it's hard to give that grace if we don't know i think i get that because i i explain
36:07and i'll tell them why i'm crying or struggling and it helps people understand it you know totally um
36:15marciano came on to me very strong he was like expressing that like it was love at first sight and
36:20never once in a text message in a phone call never did i feel it for him we've never kissed
36:27in our life i've never even told him he was cute period the end but marciano did sexually assault me
36:36in my mind i'm just thinking walk on eggshells play kate i think what's hard in that situation
36:42you continue to talk to him i think that's no one saying that we don't believe you with what happened
36:46we are i think we're all just confused to me has made some crazy allegations about me but why are
36:51you dming me why are you giving me your phone number and proceed to have multiple hours of
36:56conversation and have a continued relationship after that and then we were told not to say anything
37:01too i never wanted to expose him i never wanted to talk about this i didn't want that like that was
37:08the reason of me being like please jen don't bring this up this was a response to a pattern that stems
37:15from something so much bigger and i haven't opened up and like shown that side of me so i get the
37:21confusion i understand that i've made missteps along the way and i'm sorry when demi feels the need to
37:30defend herself she just like goes to a level 10 but she didn't in this moment she was calm and was
37:36willing to be vulnerable i'm very proud of her can i say somebody just being totally transparent i
37:44obviously want to walk out here and be like oh i understand to me like i can see her i want to move
37:50forward but to be honest i'm even more confused now first i just want to know what your intentions were
38:06dming him those inappropriate messages the oyster ones yeah so these are from marciano's phone she
38:13responds it's no different than swallowing come you have to understand seeing flirty messages and dms
38:21but not already on my end no yes yes yes no yeah well it's the okay the context and intention matters
38:29but do you understand how that's kind of confusing that like the same man that you're saying assaulted
38:33you and no one's saying that he didn't do that but it's like you're sending a message saying like
38:37well come like that's just like can i see that it's just not making sense can i see that okay um
38:43i think that all of us have experienced a trauma in our life and i even think about connor's trauma and
38:51i don't understand why he did the things he did i don't understand why you had to do what you did and
38:57i may never understand that but before this gets rogue like we may never know the nitty gritty and you may
39:04never understand that just to give context like having him facetime as a nickname for him sending
39:10him photos of those things for us were like alarming because if this guy assaulted you why are you
39:15bringing your daughter into it so in the first initial conversation that we had post villa i had
39:20him on speaker and was like who's that and i was like oh just a friend or whatever and she was like
39:25let me see and she clicked facetime i was like oh it wasn't facetiming marciano but this is my
39:31daughter but then sending videos of her praying for him and then she called him martino baby so
39:35she had a nickname and then you said that's going to be your name in my phone she had no clue who
39:40marciano was but during the time when we found out about everything with you there was a lot of
39:45phone calls at this point i'm like okay move into like we're good like we're friends just act like
39:51everything's normal pretend that didn't happen move past it because you were now focused on taking me
39:55down is how it feels no move past that why were there so many phone calls why why did you have to
40:00be involved i i think for me it was just anger and that's a sad excuse but truly like feeling hurt
40:10about how our friendship had ended and i'm sorry that i haven't been there for you and i know you've
40:16been going through it um i told you that i would be the friend that would bury a body for you
40:23and i meant that and i know you maybe don't believe that my passion and my love and my loyalty
40:29is fierce and that's why i feel so hurt when i don't feel like that's reciprocated i think i've had
40:36a lot of resentment towards you because one of my like biggest wounds that i've uncovered in therapy
40:44is i've never felt good enough in anything and um i think the things that happen in our friendship
40:51like contracts and hair like it just really obviously brought those to the surface like
40:55okay i'm not good enough like um i felt like this group was my safe place for to have like the person
41:01that was my safe place do it too it's just really hard i feel like i still don't have clarity on the
41:08whole situation with demi and marciano behind the scenes i don't know if he lied about us having sex
41:13if she pressured him to lie i don't know if i'll ever know but at the end of the day i just regret
41:19that we let a greasy man come in between us i'm ready to drop the hostility and just start new
41:27i think this is probably a good first step i feel like everyone is very vulnerable and open and one
41:33thing i do want to say is that never would i ever condone victim shaming like as you know i've been
41:38through my own shit i would never want someone to not believe me you know and so i'm sorry if you
41:44felt that way no thank you yeah and i think at the end of the day no one wants this hostility i
41:49think all of us can say we want this to be cleared up i feel like genuinely i want to be able to move
41:53past this and no one's not believing you no one's not like shaming you we just we're just trying to
41:58we're just trying to add it all up so that we can move past this yeah thanks everyone for listening and
42:04i'm sorry again for anything on my end i understand from an outside perspective why all of this would
42:12be so confusing do i necessarily think that it's my responsibility to take on their confusion no i have
42:18dealt with this the best way that i've known how and hindsight is always 20 20. i think the main thing
42:24that i'm feeling sorry for is for getting involved when marciano told me what happened with jesse
42:29that is something that i absolutely could have handled differently and and i'm extremely sorry
42:35for i'm sorry i'm a bitch no it's okay i am too i would say it is uh crucial for us to
42:46no longer live in this gray area of the marciano and demi situation the only people that are ever
42:51going to know the truth of that is to me and marciano so i'd like to just kind of move on
42:57mikaela can we hug please if i say no you're gonna cry no i'm not i'm not oh my gosh my baby
43:06it's so harsh my baby doesn't like you it's going to wrap the neck right as i hugged you sorry sorry
43:15we are not alone are not alone we are not alone god is with us we are not alone are not alone we
43:26we are not alone god is with us hello this is so cute cute oh my gosh look at that so cute it looks
43:36so cute oh my gosh he got scriptures he's probably a little confused of what's going on are you
43:42ready for your big day so today we didn't get the approval of the baby blessing from dakota so we just
43:49pivoted to a blessing of comfort and whatever blessing my dad thinks he needs but i am happy
43:55that we're all coming together to you know celebrate my baby regardless of what baby daddy wanted hello i
44:01love this dress you look beautiful there are you this is cute okay let me see the teeth did you get
44:08oh you got all right they look natural even though a lot of us girls aren't that active in the church
44:12anymore it is nice to be able to come together and just kind of celebrate baby ever and the church men
44:17are the ones that hold the priesthood and they are the ones that are able to give blessings so it's
44:21definitely kind of weird dynamic that taylor's not allowed to do this unless dakota's there but he
44:27wouldn't even be able to do it because he's not worthy enough to do it so now taylor's dad has to
44:31do it it's just a whole mess but they think that it's something that should change will it change
44:36probably not hello how are you good how are you doing thanks for having us over hello how are you
44:45i feel like we've heard every excuse from him about all these things coming out before like i saw him
44:50swear on everything that there was nothing more with jenna yeah and behind closed doors he's crying
44:58it's disgusting if there was more that happened taylor and i found out i would be furious for you
45:03it almost feels um a little bit weird to be celebrating ever without his dad there telling jesse
45:11dakota's secret at first i was so scared that it was going to affect our relationship but he let me
45:17know that that the truth set him free and i still want to support taylor and support ever the best
45:23way i can and that's by showing up hi you look amazing you're gonna have this baby here probably
45:31any minute now my water could break any minute now i'm not even kidding hello hello how are you guys
45:37good it's good to see you are we in the same dress did you tell us from jaggers closet no she just was
45:43like oh kaylor's in that same dressing boy oh my gosh where are you i'm sorry i'm he's a little
45:48creepy to me to me to me oh this feels so awkward it's so hard because i think
45:57everyone just wants to keep the peace right now and forget about the past you guys help yourself the
46:01food or drinks so come and say hi to mom talk everyone come and say hi to mom talk but my gut is telling
46:08me everything is calculated what's the first thing that a calculated person does damage control it's
46:14like she's back for her own gain for her own image for her own sake i definitely think she's a threat to
46:20mom talks foundation i'm scared to be a part of mom talk when she is around
46:25hey guys i need everyone's attention everyone's attention over here i just wanted to say thanks
46:39to everybody i think this is a big deal for everett to know that when he gets older he'll be able to see
46:45this that we're supporting him i'll just offer a word of prayer real quick our father in heaven we are
46:51grateful for the opportunity we have to gather today we're grateful for the opportunity that we
46:56have to celebrate little ever and we're grateful for his presence in our life and give us the
47:02direction and the guidance that we need in these things we pray for in the name of my son jesus christ
47:06amen amen dad love you love you baby thank you hey maybe one day we'll get to have lasting huh
47:16do you guys want to do a tick tock absolutely someone set their phone
47:20whoever wants to do it perfect i love it i love it i'm holding out hope for the group as a whole
47:26i feel like everyone for the most part really did a good job at taking ownership and apologizing for
47:32the things that were necessary the one person that i don't feel like did that was jen there was a lot of
47:38pointing fingers and not a whole lot of self-reflection but i want to move forward with a lot more grace
47:46humility kindness i hope that we are able to come back even stronger than before the band is
47:53officially back together this is our first tick tock in how long it's been a long time did we do a vote
47:58we're always physically right now in this moment let's take a vote i don't remember leader has
48:03spoken because i need to know we don't vote anymore there is a part of me that doesn't think i can
48:11fully trust in me what will she do next is this calculated is she going to betray me in the group
48:16again i don't know if i can fully let her back in and time will tell ready set go
48:24you're not getting it it's not clocking to you it's not clocking to you that i'm standing on
48:29business is it that's good that's got cute perfect we did it guys this is an iconic moment guys
48:59good how are you good to see you you as well thank you it's very sweet of you case reached out and
49:14invited me to dinner to apologize for the way he's treated me in the past i'm willing just to hear him
49:21out but i'm like what is he gonna say how you been i'm good uh surviving it's crazy yes life is crazy
49:30always well i did want to say thanks for coming considering the past going back to the halloween
49:37party i owe you a sincere apology about the way that i acted i don't think in any situation it's okay to
49:44point and like be super condescending was not my proudest moment people ask me about you and my
49:52opinion of you you bring up the lowest point of my life so i in return bring up the lowest point of
49:57yours i will say on my end i came in already pissed as shit so that probably didn't help what's
50:04up with dakota how you guys doing oh we're horrible really like it's been horrible like i'm like we're
50:10done you're done it's just sad yeah we're done oh yeah do you remember uh my mom's friend from the
50:17gym oh i saw her like a week ago yeah tell the bitch i said hi and that she's dead
50:24shut the up that's your mom's friend it's my like basically family no that's that's
50:29fucking insane thank you if chase says it's insane then it must be yeah yeah it's like i yeah
50:35it's gotta be way bad yeah how are you and kate i mean we technically broke up on monday but she
50:42she's the one that actually called it off oh we're gonna get so much for this by the way yeah yeah
50:49absolutely are you crazy i mean i got crap for like following you by dakota she's like wait why are you
50:57following chase back i'm like well you follow like his girlfriend like kate like i'm like who cares but
51:02he's like but there's a history there and he's like well i'm like what history and he's like well
51:06you guys all did weird in the shower oh yeah we had a pretty crazy run there for a little bit life's
51:15just crazy i would have never thought we'd be here on a dinner on a date on a date
51:24i want to see if you'll uh ever admit what you said to me at the gym you want to have that combo
51:29just curious if you'd ever admit it thank you about having feelings for you i just remember like
51:36i think you're just like feel like there's i have some feelings and i just want to get off my chest
51:40and that's like how you said it
51:44i do think that's kind of the nature of doing what we did is that feelings can
51:48for sure develop well they did develop honestly taylor i always thought you were like one of the
51:56coolest people ever it's one of the most social fun like easy to be around people i've ever met
52:03chase kind of plays coy when you bring up him saying that you had feelings he's a very charismatic
52:11guy and i know like i'm a very flirty person there's something like where it just flows naturally
52:17um i don't know how to word it because if i say chemistry it's like does that mean you like them
52:21you should be kissed for all time's sake
52:30don't you float away
52:38i want to see the sun
52:46come up
52:48come up
53:01come up
53:05i want to see the sun
53:09i want to see the sun
53:12okay ready
53:17oh my god
53:17ew
53:18god damn it are these disposable shorts
53:20what your ass is out
53:22is it coming apart
53:25jane
53:25you can lower the floaty your ball sack's about to show
53:30dude that was too good that was so funny
53:39you
53:40you
53:40you
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