مسلسل According to Jim الموسم الثامن الحلقة 10 مترجمة - توب سينما
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00:00مرحبا انا من صوف امحالي
00:02اندي حتشاً كنت أمزاني اللقاح
00:06احسن انه كنت ملتقاني
00:08امين حؤلاء من شعن
00:24عمد أشعر
00:26I love you, Mandy, from your man, Andy.
00:30You're sweet as candy, on ocean or dry landy.
00:35I think you're just dandy.
00:37I love walking with you hand in handy.
00:41Don't you miss Jessica Tandy?
00:45Hmm? Hmm?
00:47What do you think?
00:49I think it's you I can't standy.
00:56No, no, no, no.
01:04You've only known Mandy for two weeks.
01:06You can't go buying her diamond earrings like this.
01:09It's her birthday. I want to knock her socks off.
01:11Well, then buy her socks.
01:13Hey, if not diamond earrings, what?
01:15I don't care.
01:15I need your help.
01:16I'll do whatever you say.
01:21Guide me, master.
01:24Fine. Fine.
01:25Sit down.
01:26You know what? I should charge you for this.
01:29I'm going to give it to you for free.
01:30You're the best.
01:32No, wait a minute. Give me a dollar.
01:35Seriously?
01:36Yeah, give me a dollar.
01:37Go to hell.
01:39Well, who needs a girl when you got your mom?
01:45Fine.
01:46Here. Here's your stupid dollar.
01:49Thank you.
01:49Here's the thing.
01:51Most guys in a new relationship make the mistake of thinking a good gift is an expensive gift.
02:03That's it?
02:04That's your advice?
02:06No, that's what you're doing wrong.
02:08If you want advice, it's another dollar.
02:11Go to hell.
02:13Fine. Change your own diapers when you're 80.
02:15and damn you to hell.
02:24Thank you.
02:25Okay.
02:26Anybody can do an expensive gift.
02:29What you should be looking for is a meaningful gift.
02:33You mean cheap?
02:33It can't be cheap if things line up right.
02:41Here's the thing.
02:43The gift women really love
02:45is the gift that says
02:47I listen to you.
02:51Okay.
02:52Okay.
02:53I can see the beauty of that, Jim.
02:54But here's the thing.
02:56I don't listen to Mandy.
02:59What do you mean?
02:59You're with her all the time.
03:01I know, but every time I'm with her,
03:02the only thing I hear is this voice inside my head saying,
03:05please don't leave me, please don't leave me, please don't leave me.
03:08Well, Andy,
03:09sounds like you need advanced lessons.
03:11Oh, yeah.
03:16No, no, no, no.
03:17I am desperate.
03:19All right.
03:21On our 10th anniversary,
03:23I gave Cheryl a teddy bear cookie jar
03:26that looked just like the one she had when she was growing up.
03:28Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't remember us having a teddy bear cookie jar.
03:32Neither did Cheryl.
03:35Until I gave her one.
03:37Then suddenly, she remembered.
03:40She cried and gave me a back rub.
03:43I could use a back rub.
03:45Or one of those hot stone massages.
03:48Oh, it's how the Indians have relaxed for centuries.
03:51Andy, Andy.
03:51What I realized a little later was
03:54that wasn't Cheryl's story at all.
03:57I was thinking about the cookie jar
03:59in the Annie Griffith show.
04:01So you told Cheryl you made a mistake, right?
04:04No.
04:06See, Andy,
04:07women are so desperate
04:09to believe that their men are listening to them
04:11that they'll buy into anything.
04:14So just buy Mandy a gift,
04:18make up a story.
04:21Eh, that sounds a little dishonest.
04:23Andy,
04:24it is totally dishonest.
04:27You have to understand,
04:29we're selling feelings,
04:31not the truth.
04:32Oh, no, no, no.
04:34I'm not following you.
04:34Well, it's kind of like
04:36when Mandy says you look great
04:37without your shirt on.
04:40Oh.
04:40You know it's not the truth,
04:43but you love hearing it.
04:46All I hear is,
04:47please don't leave me,
04:48please don't leave me,
04:48please don't leave me.
04:53You know what?
04:54You know what, Mandy?
04:56I cannot wait anymore.
04:58I want to give you your birthday present.
04:59Oh.
05:03Hey, happy birthday.
05:06You are going to love it.
05:08Oh, I'm so excited.
05:09I put an extra little bit
05:14of the old ticker
05:14into this one.
05:17Oh.
05:19A Chinese checker set.
05:22Huh.
05:24So, what do you think?
05:25I think it's a Chinese checker set.
05:29Or,
05:30is it a vintage Chinese checker set
05:32exactly like the one
05:34you and your favorite babysitter
05:36used to play with?
05:37I never played Chinese checkers
05:39in my life.
05:41I actually find it
05:42a bit
05:42racist.
05:45Uh, no.
05:47No.
05:47Of course you did.
05:49Um,
05:50you told me
05:51on our third date.
05:52Drinks at the Palmer House,
05:54you had a Tom Collins,
05:55I had a Cosmo.
05:56This gift says,
05:57I listen.
05:59Whew.
05:59Got a,
06:00got a hell of a kink
06:01right here.
06:03What was the babysitter's name?
06:05Eleanor.
06:11Eleanor what?
06:12Rigby.
06:13No.
06:14Wait.
06:15Roosevelt.
06:15No, wait.
06:16Robinson.
06:17Not, not Eleanor.
06:18Jackie.
06:20Yes, that's right.
06:21My babysitter is Jackie Robinson,
06:23and she broke the Chinese checkers barrier
06:25in my house.
06:27So, it's coming back to you.
06:29Andy,
06:31you obviously heard this story
06:32from another woman.
06:33You know,
06:34probably that whack job,
06:35Emily.
06:35I knew you weren't over her yet.
06:37No, baby, baby,
06:38please, please,
06:39you and me,
06:39we're for reals,
06:40huh?
06:42No, no,
06:43I haven't been engaged
06:44to Emily for 17 days.
06:47This is the most
06:48insensitive gift
06:48I have ever gotten.
06:49No, no, no, no,
06:50no, no, no,
06:51no, no,
06:52no,
06:52um,
06:53no,
06:54there's no other girl
06:55that,
06:56no one told me
06:57this story.
07:00I made the whole thing up.
07:06You did what?
07:09I wanted to give you
07:10something really,
07:11really meaningful,
07:12but I couldn't think
07:13of anything,
07:14so I made up,
07:15I made up a stupid story
07:18that has absolutely
07:20nothing to do with you.
07:22You made the whole thing up?
07:24I cannot believe
07:25you would sink that low.
07:26I mean,
07:27is it really that hard
07:28to give me a gift
07:29based on who I am?
07:30Can I,
07:31can I just say
07:32one more thing
07:34in my defense?
07:36Go ahead.
07:37Please don't leave me,
07:38please don't leave me,
07:39please don't leave me.
07:44I can't stay for dinner.
07:45Wait, wait a minute,
07:46you can't barge in here
07:47without knocking first.
07:48What if I was nude?
07:50I knocked the last time
07:51and you were nude.
07:52Well,
07:53I thought you were
07:53the mailman.
07:54we got this running joke.
07:57I don't think
07:58he gets it, though.
08:00I'm not staying for dinner
08:01because I'm very upset
08:02with Andy,
08:03but I did bring
08:04your three bean salad.
08:05Oh, wow,
08:06look at that.
08:07Nice work.
08:09Okay, see ya.
08:10No, no, no,
08:11hey,
08:11what happened?
08:13Andy gave me
08:14these Chinese checkers
08:15for my birthday,
08:16told me I played it
08:17as a kid,
08:17but it was just
08:18some stupid story
08:19he made up.
08:29That's weird.
08:31I mean,
08:31why would he do that?
08:34Huh,
08:35I guess we'll never know.
08:37See ya.
08:38No, no, no.
08:39I know what happened.
08:43You did?
08:43Yeah.
08:46It's all your fault.
08:49How would you know that?
08:51Because
08:52you always get me
08:53such great
08:53anniversary gifts
08:54and Andy is trying
08:55to compete with you.
08:59That's how you know that?
09:01Of course.
09:02Look,
09:02you can't give Andy
09:03a hard time
09:04because I set the bar
09:05so high.
09:06I mean,
09:06he's trying.
09:07Well,
09:08I guess his heart
09:08was in the right place.
09:09Absolutely.
09:10don't punish him
09:12because he's not
09:12as classy as moi.
09:14See ya.
09:16Is Jim really
09:17a good gift giver?
09:18Oh,
09:18the best.
09:19I wouldn't expect that.
09:21Oh,
09:21yeah,
09:21he gets these
09:22simple,
09:23inexpensive gifts
09:23that always have
09:24a thoughtful story
09:25behind him.
09:26He remembers
09:26every detail.
09:28Really?
09:28Jim?
09:30He remembers stories
09:30I don't even remember
09:31telling.
09:34Oh,
09:34honey.
09:38Crap!
09:40I knew I never
09:41wanted wooden shoes
09:42as a kid.
09:50Kidney,
09:51garbanzo,
09:52green.
09:53Kidney,
09:54garbanzo,
09:54green.
09:56Kidney,
09:56garbanzo,
09:57green.
09:58Hey,
09:59this Mandy
09:59can cook.
10:02Yeah,
10:02you know,
10:02speaking of Mandy,
10:04our conversation
10:05last night
10:05got me thinking.
10:06You know,
10:07you always get me
10:07such meaningful,
10:08emotional gifts
10:09for our anniversary.
10:10and this year
10:11I wanted to do
10:12that for you.
10:13Well,
10:14that's going to be
10:14kind of hard,
10:15Cheryl.
10:15I don't really
10:16have any
10:16meaningful emotions.
10:20It was tough,
10:21but I think
10:22I found the
10:22perfect gift
10:23and it is
10:23waiting for you
10:24in the living room.
10:27Come on.
10:28You installed
10:29a toilet
10:29next to the couch?
10:30Oh,
10:34this is going to be
10:34a great anniversary.
10:35Come on,
10:36what do you get me?
10:36What do you get me?
10:42Where the hell's
10:46my big screen TV?
10:47I replaced it
10:48with this
10:49super spectrum
10:50astrotron
10:52in living color.
10:55Ta-da!
10:58Remember?
10:59It's exactly like
11:00the one you used
11:01to watch
11:01with your uncle.
11:05When you were a kid,
11:06you used to stay up late
11:07and watch the
11:07Blackhawks games.
11:08I don't remember
11:13watching any hockey
11:14with any uncle.
11:15Oh,
11:16sure you do.
11:17You told me about it
11:19on our third date.
11:20I wouldn't make
11:22something like that up.
11:23You'd have to be
11:24a pretty horrible person
11:25to do something like that.
11:35So,
11:36Jim,
11:37is there something
11:38you'd like to tell me?
11:46Yes.
11:48Yes, Cheryl.
11:50I'd love this TV!
11:53Wow!
11:54Look at that!
11:55What a great gift, honey!
11:58Hey!
11:59Will you look at that?
12:01All three channels!
12:05Oh,
12:05this is so great,
12:06I feel like my
12:07my uncle is here
12:08with me.
12:09My uncle,
12:09what was his name?
12:11Bite Me.
12:14Yeah,
12:15yeah.
12:16Uncle Bite Me,
12:17who was married
12:19to my Aunt Kramit.
12:21Would you stop it?
12:22All right,
12:23all right,
12:23you got me,
12:24all right?
12:24Maybe I fudge a few details
12:25on a couple of anniversaries.
12:27No, Jim,
12:28eight anniversaries!
12:29Eight!
12:30Eight?
12:30There was no eight!
12:31What are you talking about?
12:32Eight!
12:37Yeah,
12:37eight.
12:39Yeah,
12:39but
12:39eight out of 15...
12:41Nineteen!
12:42Nineteen,
12:42right.
12:44You told me that my mom
12:45and I used to drink cocoa
12:46out of a mug like this
12:47after you'd go ice skating.
12:49Oh, Cheryl,
12:51that is such a beautiful story.
12:52I'm getting all choked up.
12:56You lied!
12:58And this stupid thing!
13:01Sheep on wheels?
13:03Stupid?
13:05Do you know how hard it is
13:06to find a sheep on wheels?
13:10I mean,
13:11you can find a pig on wheels,
13:13but try coming up
13:15with a story on that.
13:17And my personal favorite?
13:20The wood plane.
13:22A wood plane, Jim?
13:24Cheryl,
13:25Cheryl,
13:25if we didn't have
13:26that wood plane,
13:27these wooden shoes
13:28wouldn't have fit right.
13:31You suck.
13:34Okay, Cheryl,
13:35to be fair here, okay,
13:36if you would have caught me
13:37with that cookie jar,
13:38the other seven lies
13:39wouldn't have happened.
13:41It kind of rests
13:42on your shoulders too, babe.
13:44Oh,
13:45this is my fault?
13:46Yeah,
13:47you know what?
13:47You even admitted to it.
13:49When?
13:49Well,
13:49we'd been dating
13:50for about six months.
13:51We were having drinks
13:52at the Palmer House
13:53and you said,
13:54if you ever have to lie...
13:55Oh, my God!
13:56You're doing it now!
13:59You caught me!
14:01See?
14:02We're progressing.
14:05We have a growing relationship.
14:10Fine.
14:11I'm gonna go grow
14:12in the kitchen.
14:15Wait, Cheryl,
14:15stop.
14:17Before you go,
14:19can you flip it over
14:20to seven?
14:20Oh!
14:35So,
14:36tell me again
14:37how much you love
14:37those diamond earrings?
14:39Oh,
14:39I love my new diamond earrings.
14:41I knew you would,
14:43baby.
14:44Diamonds don't need
14:45to do this story.
14:47Okay.
14:48You can go get
14:48those hot stones
14:49out of the oven now.
14:50Okay.
14:51Are you sure
14:52this is how
14:52they do this?
14:53Oh,
14:53yeah.
14:54It's an old
14:55Indian ritual
14:55dating back
14:56a thousand years.
14:57Of course,
14:58they didn't have
14:58the convection oven.
15:01I know,
15:01but an hour
15:02at 450?
15:03Just do it!
15:04I can do your rings!
15:05Oh,
15:10my God,
15:26are you okay?
15:27Are you okay?
15:32Hey,
15:33hey,
15:33hey,
15:34I think I'll be all right.
15:37Well,
15:37I hope so,
15:38because later
15:38I want to thank you
15:39properly for my new earrings.
15:41I'm fine.
15:42I'll be great.
15:45Oh,
15:46hey,
15:46what are you cooking
15:47in here,
15:47burgers?
15:49Honey,
15:49let me go get you
15:50some ointment,
15:50okay?
15:57I'm tapping that.
16:01I thought you were
16:02in a dog house.
16:03I bought her diamonds,
16:04Jim.
16:05I can do no wrong.
16:06Diamonds.
16:06I can listen,
16:07not listen,
16:08call her by the wrong name.
16:09All she hears is,
16:10look at me sparkle.
16:12Andy,
16:13I really need you.
16:14Can you put those cows
16:15back in the barn?
16:20Look,
16:20you really screwed me up
16:22with Cheryl.
16:23How is that my fault?
16:24Because your lies sucked
16:25and that screwed up
16:26my brilliant lies.
16:28You know what,
16:28Jim?
16:29What?
16:29Andy,
16:30please put it away.
16:31No,
16:31no,
16:32no,
16:32why don't you
16:32buy your wife
16:33something nice
16:34instead of taking
16:35the easy way out?
16:36Easy?
16:37You think it's easy
16:38coming up with
16:39convincing lies
16:40and sticking to them
16:41for all these years?
16:44Nothing
16:44in here
16:45is easy.
16:48Jim,
16:48I'm all blissed out
16:49from my massage.
16:50You're kind of
16:51harshing my rub.
16:53Fine.
16:54I'll figure out
16:55something for myself.
16:57Be cool, bro.
17:05Hey, bro,
17:06thanks for the help.
17:13This TV sucks.
17:15I hate teaching
17:16Jim Wessons.
17:20Hello,
17:21my dear wife.
17:24Happy Anniversary.
17:26What's this?
17:27A regular sock
17:28so my feet grew
17:28to different sizes
17:29when I was eight?
17:32No.
17:33This is a real gift
17:35from a real store,
17:36not from some guy
17:37in the corner
17:37selling rugs
17:38or day-old meats.
17:40Which, by the way,
17:41I got dinner covered.
17:44Happy Anniversary.
17:49Jim.
17:49Oh, my God.
17:52Diamond earrings?
17:53Mm-hmm.
17:54And the only story
17:55that goes with that
17:56is that they were
17:57very expensive.
17:59Oh, Jim,
18:02they're beautiful.
18:03I love them.
18:04Thank you.
18:05You like them, huh?
18:06Oh, yes.
18:07You sure?
18:08You sure you want
18:09to keep them?
18:09Uh.
18:09Are they from
18:14a dead person?
18:17No, Cheryl.
18:18You know I've been
18:18banned from the morgue.
18:24Then I want to keep them.
18:26Hold on to that thought.
18:28Would you like
18:29to keep these diamonds
18:30that you have
18:32no emotional connection
18:34to whatsoever
18:35or would you rather
18:38have this mug
18:40in my hand?
18:44What are you doing?
18:45I'm giving you a choice.
18:47Expensive,
18:48meaningless earrings.
18:50Inexpensive,
18:52meaningful mug.
18:53What's so meaningful
18:54about that?
18:55You got it free
18:55when you opened
18:55a checking account.
18:59Yes.
19:00But then you started
19:01using this mug
19:03every morning
19:03to drink your tea.
19:05And I remember
19:06you telling me
19:07that you were
19:08pregnant with Kyle
19:09while drinking
19:09out of this mug.
19:12Oh, my God.
19:14You're not making
19:14that up.
19:16No, because I remember
19:18hoping that you
19:19were making that up.
19:22So, what's it
19:24going to be?
19:25Earrings, mug.
19:26Earrings, mug.
19:26Earrings, mug.
19:28Wait, wait, wait, wait,
19:28wait.
19:29Before you decide,
19:30if you take
19:32this mug,
19:33I will throw in
19:34for free
19:36sheep on wheels.
19:40Don't you remember
19:41Kyle picked this up
19:41and uttered
19:42his first words?
19:43Doggy.
19:47Okay, okay,
19:48I get it.
19:49We built a lifetime
19:50of memories
19:50on your foundation
19:51of lies.
19:52No, Cheryl.
19:53We built a lifetime
19:54of memories
19:54on my...
19:55Oh, you do get it.
20:00Cheryl,
20:01I know I may be
20:03different than
20:03other men,
20:04but I certainly
20:06am not boring.
20:09No, honey,
20:10you're not boring.
20:11In fact,
20:12you sparkle,
20:13which is what
20:14makes these
20:15so meaningful.
20:16It's like they're
20:17a reflection of you.
20:18sure all I did
20:24was go to a mall
20:25and buy them.
20:26Uh-huh.
20:27But...
20:28But I put a lot
20:29of thought
20:30and effort
20:30into finding
20:31these gifts.
20:32Uh-huh.
20:34But I thought
20:35the most important
20:35thing about a gift
20:36is the time
20:37and thought
20:37you put into it.
20:39No, actually,
20:40that's not as important
20:40as how shiny
20:41they are.
20:42In fact,
20:45the less you think,
20:46the sexier
20:47you get to me.
20:49Really?
20:50Oh, yeah.
20:51If you stop
20:52thinking altogether,
20:54you just might
20:54get lucky.
20:57Really?
20:58Mm-hmm.
20:59Oh, honey,
21:00I love these.
21:02What do you think?
21:04Nothing.
21:05Hey, uh,
21:11Jim,
21:13Mandy can't
21:14find her
21:14earrings.
21:15شكرا
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