- 1 hour ago
Emmerdale - Season 54 Episode 243 -
Thursday 25th December 2025
Thursday 25th December 2025
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FunTranscript
00:00music
00:25Merry Christmas!
00:28Merry Christmas!
00:29Merry Christmas!
00:30Merry Christmas!
00:31Is it though?
00:32Cos I'm out here in the cold running a mulled wine stall that was your idea while you're
00:36in the warm like the ghost of Christmas.
00:38Merry Christmas!
00:39Oh I don't know who he was!
00:40Get your bum out here now!
00:45I don't expect him a shot any time.
00:47It's a public street and it's on Christmas Day.
00:50So that means it's not allowed, is it?
00:52Merry blah blah.
00:53Why don't you have some of this muck?
00:54Well, salesperson of the year.
00:56Cheers.
00:57Hiya Lord.
00:58Merry Christmas.
00:59Merry Christmas.
01:01Looks like we should be singing Feed the World.
01:04We will not be caught with insufficient food, will we?
01:06Look at all those vegetables!
01:08I know!
01:09You're not wearing your present?
01:10Er, er, no I will.
01:12Right, come on.
01:13Let the peeling commence after you, Gabner.
01:18What present has he got that you can't wear out here?
01:21Do we really want to know?
01:22He got me a Cardi.
01:24Right, because you're 74 years of age.
01:26And, er, murder mystery thing.
01:28Where have you got to go for that?
01:29Oh, I don't know.
01:30Some hotel in Weatherfield.
01:32Where?
01:33Oh, God knows.
01:34Weatherfield?
01:35No.
01:36Really.
01:37Merry Christmas!
01:38Too early?
01:39I like that you're so keen.
01:40Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:41Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:42Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:43Yeah.
01:44Merry Christmas.
01:45Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:46Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:47Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:48Yeah, Merry Christmas.
01:49Oh.
01:50Oh.
01:51We're home for yours later.
01:52Uh-huh.
01:53Right, bit late afternoon.
01:54Got a few guests here.
01:55Right, see you later.
01:56Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:58Yeah, Merry Christmas.
02:04Ho, ho, ho.
02:05We're still on for yours later.
02:06Uh-huh.
02:07Right. Been late afternoon. Got a few guests here.
02:10Right, see you later.
02:13Hey, Merry Christmas.
02:15Good to you.
02:16I got a scooter.
02:17Yeah, sir.
02:18Yay, so that means that no-one's safe.
02:20Why don't we go and terrorise the rest of the village?
02:22Come on.
02:26Eh, question. How come I didn't get a scooter?
02:29I've spent enough on your My Little Pony, thank you.
02:32Got another one, love?
02:34Yeah, go on then.
02:35Not for me. I've, er, actually got somewhere.
02:37I'm gonna puff to you.
02:38Where are you going?
02:41Robert, where you going?
02:43Merry Christmas!
02:45Merry Christmas!
02:56Merry Christmas!
03:02So, do you like it?
03:03Yeah.
03:05Really?
03:06Of course.
03:08Right, well, why are you just giving one-word answers then?
03:10I love it.
03:11Thanks.
03:13Just then two.
03:14Flipping hijacking things yesterday.
03:16No, no, I'm not exactly chuffed about it either,
03:18but let's not let it ruin our Christmas as well.
03:25Oh, my God!
03:26This is so much better than mine!
03:29I know.
03:30Did you just guess it was gonna be a girl?
03:32I bought two lots.
03:33I'm sending the blue ones back.
03:34Yeah, very clever.
03:36Hey!
03:37Happy Christmas!
03:39Yeah.
03:42What he said.
03:46Sorry, got a bit of a head.
03:48Celebrating, were you?
03:50Er, only a bit.
03:53Sure.
03:55How are we?
03:58Disappointed.
04:00It was a bit, you know...
04:02It was massively out of order.
04:04And bonkers.
04:06Last night was supposed to be our wedding night.
04:07Well, you don't need the ring to do the thing.
04:11Seriously?
04:13Sorry.
04:14Well, tell me at your grounds.
04:15Whenever we want.
04:16Yeah.
04:17The sooner the better.
04:18I'm getting dressed.
04:20Sherry?
04:27Computer, stop!
04:30Would you like me to play more Christmas music?
04:33Definitely not!
04:34Now playing Jingle Bell Rock.
04:37Computer, stop!
04:38Oh no!
04:39Now playing Gold.
04:40Computer, stop!
04:41Or I swear!
04:42Now playing Walking in the Air.
04:43Oh no!
04:44Now playing Gold.
04:45Computer, stop!
04:46Or I swear!
04:47Now playing Walking in the Air.
04:48Oh, I like this one.
04:49Here's the thing about knocking on a door that you don't seem to understand.
04:51Spam me the sarcasm.
04:52Wow!
04:53What did you get for Christmas?
04:54Big box feisty?
04:55I made a mistake yesterday when I binned you off.
04:56Oh no!
04:57Making one now.
04:58If you think that's what happens.
04:59Oh no!
05:00Oh no!
05:01Oh no!
05:02Oh no!
05:03Oh no!
05:04Oh no!
05:05Oh no!
05:06Oh no!
05:07Oh no!
05:08Oh no!
05:09Oh no!
05:10Oh no!
05:11Oh no!
05:12Here's the thing about knocking on a door that you don't seem to understand.
05:15Spam me the sarcasm.
05:18Wow!
05:19What did you get for Christmas?
05:20Big box feisty?
05:21I made a mistake yesterday when I binned you off.
05:25Making one now if you think that's what happened.
05:28I may have overreacted slightly.
05:32Truth is, I need a posh friend in my life.
05:35Gives me an air of mystery.
05:37Like people think, oh I wonder what Kim sees in that one.
05:41And it's nice.
05:42Just being here.
05:44Basking in your magnificence.
05:46And it makes me realise how lucky I am.
05:49You and I bin mates.
05:51Like when you're having issues with your caviar not being the right temperature.
05:55Or too many bubbles in your champagne.
05:58And I think to myself, at least I don't have Kim's troubles.
06:02So, I'm willing to accept your apology and give you another chance.
06:09You'd better pour yourself a drink then.
06:12What kind of host are you?
06:14How are you?
06:35Good thanks.
06:37How are you really?
06:42Not great.
06:45Come here.
06:46I'm on here cos Johnny pestered.
07:00Noted.
07:02Where's the rest of you boys?
07:04Well, Noah's out working.
07:06For triple time.
07:07And get this.
07:08Ryan's gone for a turkey curry.
07:10With someone called Stab Wound.
07:12Who we met gaming.
07:13So he's definitely getting murdered.
07:14Ha!
07:15Go on.
07:16Drink.
07:17Yeah, I'll just have one.
07:18Oh, knock yourself out Vanessa.
07:21Slow down Moses.
07:23And put your helmet on.
07:25He should be wearing a helmet.
07:27You're a helmet.
07:28Get a drink and just shut up.
07:30Wow!
07:31Oh, sorry.
07:32Is there a speed limit?
07:33No, there isn't.
07:34You crack on.
07:35How are you cracking on with your issue?
07:37Well, it's only an issue if someone makes it an issue.
07:38It's hardly the subject for Christmas Day, is it?
07:39Oh, I don't know.
07:40A pregnant woman and the father not being who everyone thinks it is.
07:43Oh cute.
07:44Merry Christmas!
07:58Merry Christmas!
07:59Merry Christmas!
08:00Merry Christmas!
08:02Cheers!
08:03I didn't know you were cumming for dinner.
08:05Oh, no.
08:06We're not.
08:07Oh, Johnny and Moses just said you are.
08:09We don't mind, do we?
08:10No, we don't mind. Brilliant idea.
08:15Hey! Merry Christmas. Where's Eve?
08:18Upstairs with Harry.
08:19Doing what?
08:20I don't know, do I?
08:21Oh, you've got to own it. It's wonderful.
08:23Yeah, you'll fit right in it, WI.
08:25Right, come on, Cardi B. Get some of these pigs.
08:27How many are we feeding?
08:28Has Robert come round to yours?
08:39No. Why? Did he say he was gonna?
08:41Well, he's just got off and now he's not answering his phone.
08:43What, at all?
08:44What do you mean, at all? He's not gonna answer it a little bit, is he?
08:46Don't get crappy.
08:47Well, I'm worried, Vic. So where is he now, then?
08:49I don't know.
08:58What, at all?
09:13What, what?
09:17What, what?
09:20What, what, what?
09:23What, what, what?
09:25Right, let's see you when it's ready.
09:47Oh, I won!
09:49Oh, sorry Liam.
09:50Right, come on here.
09:51Let's go sit down.
09:53Wow, that Christmas lunch with Bernice really got to you, didn't it?
09:56Not the great famine of 2018, not at all.
10:01I wouldn't worry about Robert, love.
10:03Well you would, if you knew that Kev's back, firing guns.
10:06What?
10:08What is back?
10:10Someone took a shot at us yesterday.
10:12Where was this?
10:14At Butler's.
10:15The police reckon it was just poachers and they were stray shots.
10:18Yeah, well they're probably right.
10:20Yeah, until we got back and there was an envelope with Kev's wedding ring and a bullet in it.
10:25Oh my goodness.
10:27Do you reckon we should go and look for him?
10:28I was just gonna suggest it actually.
10:30No, hang on, hang on.
10:31Where are you even gonna look?
10:32I dunno.
10:33We can't just sit here.
10:34Maybe you should call the police?
10:35And say what?
10:36That my fully grown adult boyfriend's been missing for a couple of hours?
10:38Well I think I'd also suggest the shooting, the bullet in the ring.
10:43No Charles?
10:45He came earlier.
10:46Thought I'd give him space to be with Ethan by himself.
10:51Never gets any easier, does it?
10:53Tell me about it.
10:55Like Christmas isn't difficult enough.
10:58I've got three brothers here as well as my dad.
11:00You must miss them very much.
11:04It's been so long.
11:06Sometimes it feels like they were never here at all.
11:09But you must feel like Ethan's barely been gone.
11:15There are still days Charles and I still call his name.
11:19Give him my best.
11:27What are you doing here?
11:30I'm looking to buy a new carpet.
11:36So as I can sweep everything that's happened recently under it.
11:40Looks like you've already started that.
11:45Congratulations, by the way, on your engagement.
11:49Thanks.
12:03I miss him.
12:06Yeah, same.
12:09I miss you.
12:11And you.
12:14Me?
12:16That's all right.
12:17It's Christmas.
12:19And?
12:20What happens at Christmas?
12:22Well, what usually happens is families fall out.
12:25But we've already done that.
12:28So is anyone open to moving on to the next phase?
12:32What's that?
12:34We stand around awkwardly.
12:36Not so much.
12:37And then, at some point, preferably very soon, your bags appear in the hallway at home.
12:43And it's kind of accepted that you've moved back in.
12:50That might work.
12:53Let the awkward standing commence.
12:55Oh, yes.
12:56Let's get some rosy.
12:59Oops.
13:01Hey!
13:03I told you to wait for your dad.
13:08You okay?
13:09Yeah.
13:10Have you been to Nick's grave?
13:11Yeah.
13:12I have, mate.
13:13Come here.
13:15Right, come on.
13:16Let's get this show on the road, then.
13:18You know, we've still got time for our knees, that.
13:20I've got my feet up.
13:22Old.
13:23Can't even make it to the food.
13:25Come on.
13:27Have this not opened all the presents?
13:28Er, no.
13:29Not yet.
13:30Oh-ho-ho.
13:32Come on.
13:34Come on, Adia.
13:36What have you got?
13:40What have you got?
13:41Brilliant!
13:42Thank you!
13:44Now, pass this to your brother.
13:45What have you got?
13:52What have you got?
13:55Right.
13:57Hello!
13:59Hey!
14:00How are we all?
14:02How's me big man?
14:04Merry Christmas.
14:05Merry Christmas.
14:07Hello, Cain.
14:10Because it's a spanner.
14:13Yeah, I got it.
14:14Merry Christmas.
14:15Hey, yeah, Merry Christmas.
14:16Aw.
14:17Did you get anything nice?
14:18Well done.
14:19Need to get back, too.
14:23And...
14:24How are you, mister?
14:26Yeah.
14:27It's just a...
14:28another day with our aims, isn't it?
14:30Not really.
14:31No.
14:32No, not really.
14:33No, come here.
14:37Anyway, what do you think she would want us to do, eh?
14:39Your mum, if she was here?
14:40Have a good time.
14:42For what we're gonna do, then?
14:43Have a good time!
14:44Have a good time!
14:45Nailed it!
14:46Right, erm, do we get our own drinks or do you like to control it?
14:50Control, Gary!
14:52Right, come on in.
14:54Brought you some company.
14:56Thanks.
14:58A lot.
14:59I really appreciate this.
15:00I don't relish the prospect of being in that house all day.
15:06Oh, happy birthday.
15:08Hope they're not imposing too much.
15:10How much is too much?
15:11Well, we're enjoying being here just as much as you are having us.
15:15Kim!
15:16Sit down.
15:17Get comfy.
15:18And you guys.
15:19Get on the, er, city.
15:20Thanks, Sam.
15:21And Lydia.
15:22And Belle.
15:23Yeah, no worries.
15:24Has Billy got the kids?
15:25Yeah.
15:27Feel like we should have some kind of plaque.
15:29Kim Tate's sat here.
15:30Well, I've got a box of them.
15:32I'll bring you one.
15:33Really?
15:34No, Sam.
15:35Oh.
15:36Right.
15:37Jorks.
15:38Erm, drinks.
15:41Well, Merry Christmas, everyone.
15:42Merry Christmas.
15:43Feels like I should let you drink from the welly, but it's only really for people joining family.
15:49Well, disappointed as I am not to be drinking moonshine from weather-resistant footwear,
15:54I'll try not to let it ruin my festive mood.
15:57Will this do?
15:58Oh.
16:00My absolute favourite.
16:08Merry Christmas.
16:09Happy Christmas.
16:11Greetings.
16:12Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:13Merry Christmas and all that.
16:16Where's your dad and the kids?
16:17Well, he fell asleep, so they're drawing on his face.
16:20Nobody ever wants to finish deviling him.
16:22Yeah, Dottie's gone round to film it for YouTube.
16:24I thought I heard an entrance.
16:26Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:27Yes.
16:28Erm, have you two met properly?
16:30Well, he's been at the cafe about half a million times.
16:32No, formally I meant.
16:34Er, like in Westminster Abbey or summer?
16:37Well, I've heard a lot about you.
16:39Oh, really?
16:40No, but er, you make a good coffee.
16:45Not been bigging me up then?
16:46I'll let your majestic presence speak for it, sir.
16:49Oh, in a decade's time, this is what you'll have to deal with from her.
16:55I'll settle for that.
16:56Hey!
16:57Excuse me.
16:58Wow!
16:59You've finished already.
17:00I was assuming drinking quickly was some sort of rule.
17:01Yeah, but we haven't had a toast yet.
17:02Well, you're going to have to do it without me because we are going for a walk with Vinny.
17:04Is this pre-planned or is it an escape?
17:05Pre-planned, promise.
17:06But er, I might see you later.
17:07It's all right.
17:08Sorry.
17:09Right then.
17:10What, er, what we're drinking too?
17:11Business as usual.
17:12Business as usual.
17:13Er, can I just check?
17:14Are you two under the impression that I'm giving you your jobs back?
17:17Because I want to make it very clear.
17:20I want to make it very clear.
17:22Right then. What, er, what we're drinking to? Business as usual?
17:29Business as usual. Er, can I just check? Are you two under the impression that I'm giving
17:35you your jobs back? Because I want to make it very clear that I am.
17:41Oh, you beggar.
17:42Yadda's going then.
17:44Hey, Sam.
17:47What?
17:49What?
17:53Won't what?
17:55Drink from the welly. Drink from the welly. Drink from the welly.
17:59Drink from the welly. Drink from the welly. Drink from the welly.
18:05Drink from the welly. Drink from the welly. Drink from the welly.
18:09Drink from the welly. Drink from the welly.
18:13No, no, no, no.
18:15Oh, no, no, no.
18:16Hey!
18:18Still don't mean you're a dingle, Will.
18:20Oh, imagine my devastation.
18:22Not that this isn't the pinnacle of my drinking experiences,
18:26but would anyone care for some red wine from my salon?
18:30I thought you just kept corpses in that.
18:32Yes, that sounds really good. Let's go.
18:34OK, I'll come with you.
18:35Can I choose some or not?
18:36Well, we'd be foolish to disregard your impeccable taste.
18:39Is that a yes or a no?
18:41Come on, Sam.
18:43It's all right.
18:45Nothing with dust on.
18:48I was banging on at you a bit earlier, weren't I?
18:52Well, we all need banging on at from time to time.
18:56But time to time, not all the time.
19:00Noted.
19:02You know, you're lucky.
19:04I know.
19:06And Sam is extremely lucky.
19:08I don't know about that.
19:09Yes, you do.
19:11He looks after me.
19:12Well, I'm glad to hear it.
19:17Would you mind if I looked after you two?
19:19What do you mean?
19:21Oh, like, say...
19:23You still inheriting Home Farm?
19:33Have you forgotten how to count?
19:35I try to prepare for everything beyond the extent of preparation.
19:39Do you know who's in that?
19:40Nelson Mandela.
19:41Taylor Swift.
19:42Right, come on.
19:43Let's go look for him.
19:44Chas, can you watch Harry?
19:45No need.
19:46But he's about to turn six, not six...
19:48Finally!
19:50You knew I was nipping out.
19:52And where have you been getting your phone fixed?
19:54Been calling you.
19:55What, because I've been gone a couple of hours?
19:56It's been longer than that.
19:57Well, it must have been on silent.
19:59Sorry.
20:00Well, it's just...
20:01We thought...
20:02You know...
20:03Kev had got you.
20:04Told us about it yesterday.
20:05What?
20:06No, no.
20:07Don't worry about that.
20:08Done with that madman interfering with our lives.
20:10Hello, hello!
20:11Hey!
20:12Festive greetings.
20:13Oh, hiya.
20:14Merry Christmas.
20:15I thought you were off seeing Steph.
20:16Nana's tomorrow.
20:17Are we all right?
20:18Yes, don't worry.
20:19The Taylor Swift Appreciation Society has got it all covered.
20:22She got you in that sparkly dress again.
20:23You wish.
20:24Oh, you come bearing gifts.
20:26How come you're suddenly not worried anymore?
20:29Cos what's the point?
20:31It's Christmas.
20:33Relax.
20:54So, Eric, this thing with you and Kerry, was it a slow burn or...?
21:03Kerry and I have been extremely fond of each other for a very long time.
21:09And the fondness has blossomed into a deep and mutual love.
21:16Do you know?
21:17I'm supposed to catch it.
21:18Oh.
21:19Oh.
21:20Oh.
21:21Oh.
21:22Oh.
21:23Oh.
21:24Oh.
21:25Hey!
21:26Hey!
21:27Hey!
21:28Hey!
21:29Hey!
21:30Hey!
21:31Hey!
21:32Hey!
21:33Hey!
21:34Hey!
21:36Hey!
21:37Hey!
21:38Hey.
21:39Oh.
21:40Right.
21:41Now what?
21:43Boots.
21:44Put it on your heart.
21:45Hey!
21:46Hey!
21:47Hey!
21:48So well!
21:49Woo!
21:50Hey!
21:51Nice fit, mate.
21:55A counterfeit.
21:57Thanks for these. They're great.
21:59You're welcome, babe.
22:00So, are you like our grandad?
22:03Now you two are married.
22:06Is that OK?
22:08It doesn't make a difference.
22:10Oh, banger.
22:13Oh, there she goes.
22:15Yes, Kate.
22:22No, Kate.
22:26Kate, where are you going?
22:27Quite Christmas, you said.
22:28Right, come on, you, let's go.
22:29Bring that with you.
22:30OK, see you later. Take care. Bye.
22:32Bye.
22:36Oh, one of them stoops to visit downstairs.
22:43Are the other two joining us any time soon?
22:44I mean, do they know it's Christmas time?
22:47At all?
22:48Well, the presents were a bit of a clue.
22:50But, yeah.
22:52I've got a little something for you.
22:54Dylan!
22:55Are you a guest?
22:57All right, everyone. Merry Christmas.
22:59You said you couldn't get out of hospital.
23:01Yeah, I lied. I'm out.
23:01How are you feeling, sweetheart?
23:03Better for seeing this one.
23:04Well, it's been so long.
23:07You OK?
23:09Hello.
23:10Come here.
23:11I love you.
23:12Going to be all right, aren't we?
23:13Yeah.
23:14Where's Eve?
23:16With Chas.
23:17Where's your mum?
23:18She's with Charles and Claudette.
23:20Oh, she's blowing you out, has she?
23:22Yeah, that's it.
23:24At least you know who your parent is.
23:29Sorry.
23:29I thought, be your wife, it's Christmas day, I think.
23:48I thought, be your wife, it's Christmas day, I think.
23:52OK.
24:08OK.
24:09Right, it's a book.
24:10Oh, this should be good.
24:12What the Ladybird heard?
24:14No?
24:15What the Ladybird heard next?
24:17Well, that's the only two books you've ever read.
24:19Oh, er, er, The Godfather, that's a book.
24:21No, no, no, no, we have to wait, right, for how many words first.
24:25Right.
24:25Er, two, three, four words.
24:28That's barely a headline.
24:30That's how many words are in the title.
24:32Oh, er, Fifty Shades of Grey.
24:34Oh, well, if you start mumming that, I'm gouging me on out.
24:37No, Ray, he's going to give us some clues, all right?
24:40Right.
24:40You're like Crocodile Dundee when he went to New York and had not a clue what was going on.
24:45Ooh, Jimmy and his highbrow cultural reference.
24:47Anyway, you Ray knows plenty about Christmas.
24:49Show him your bracelet.
24:50No, no, no, no, show him he can make a note of the next year.
24:52We're playing the game.
24:54Ooh, fancy.
24:56What have you been doing?
24:56Mining cryptocurrency?
24:58Oh, nothing that lucrative.
24:59Lucrative enough?
25:01I had nothing better to spend my money on.
25:02Oh, thanks.
25:03No, no, I didn't look at that.
25:04Oh, no, don't battle it now.
25:07I'm really offended.
25:08Look, this is going to take all day.
25:09I'm going to give you a verbal clue.
25:11It's what I want to do to Nicola sometimes.
25:14Sexy time.
25:14Oh, no, not on a Thursday.
25:18Oh, hang on, I know it.
25:20Tequila Mockingbird.
25:22Ooh!
25:23You got it.
25:24Hi, funny man.
25:26Wait till you're asleep and see what happens to your face.
25:29Right, come and get another drink.
25:30And then I'm telling you, everything you're going to be buying me for Christmas next year.
25:33Have you got a break?
25:35Is this too much?
25:36This is the best Christmas ever.
25:38Oh.
25:38I don't know whether that makes me really happy or really sad.
25:41Well, it makes me happy.
25:44Well, play your cards right and you can have another one of these next year.
25:49Yeah?
25:49Yeah.
25:53Oh, decent, that.
25:56Thank you for your effusive praise.
25:59Hey, hey.
26:00So, I've got you one more present.
26:01Well, I sort of maybe kind of got it for myself, but are you ready?
26:05Go on.
26:08Eh?
26:10Yeah.
26:11We used to play that to Destruction when you were little, didn't we?
26:14I mean, literally.
26:15I think we went through about four of them.
26:16I had to buy a new one every other Christmas.
26:17And how did you manage that?
26:18Well, I used to...
26:19I found it very tense.
26:20I used to snap the little plastic doors.
26:22Yeah, you used to rage quit every time you lost, I seem to recall.
26:26I did not.
26:27Always.
26:28Anyway, she used to have such weird questions.
26:30Does yours look like it could ride a horse?
26:32Yeah, I won every time.
26:34Ridiculously.
26:35So we're playing then, or what?
26:36Well, that sounds dangerous.
26:37Yeah, and it's only for two players.
26:38It's only two players.
26:40Look, we can team up.
26:41We can take turns.
26:44I just...
26:45I feel really lucky to be having this Christmas after where we were last year.
26:49And this would just be the icing on the cake.
26:52Indulge your old dad.
26:54Fine.
26:54Yeah?
26:55We'll play at the table.
26:56So you can turn it over when you lose.
27:00There's pudding.
27:00Oh!
27:01How do you just help, help Dylan?
27:08Yeah.
27:10One sec.
27:11All right.
27:17Hello?
27:19I'm coming.
27:20Things are going to be okay.
27:21Do you know that?
27:23Yeah, I do.
27:31It's me.
27:37Promise me you'll leave my family alone.
27:42Okay.
27:43Then I'll do it.
27:45I'll come with you.
27:46Yeah.
27:48It's a kisser.
27:49Come on.
27:50Yeah!
27:51We're two.
27:52And some.
27:54We're two.
27:55Again, three.
27:56Again, three.
27:57We're two.
27:57We're two.
27:57We're two.
27:58We're two.
27:59We're two.
27:59We're two.
28:00We're two.
28:00We're two.
28:01We're two.
28:01Here we go.
28:02Here we go.
28:02Here we go.
28:02Here we go.
28:03Come on, man.
28:03Come on, man.
28:04Come on, man.
28:04Bazzle, she won't.
28:05Bazzle, she won't.
28:06Bazzle, she won't.
28:07Bazzle, she won't.
28:07No, don't do it.
28:08That's amazing.
28:08Yeah!
28:09Yay!
28:09Yay!
28:10Yay!
28:10Yay!
28:11Yay!
28:11Yay!
28:12Yay!
28:12Yay!
28:13What a surprise.
28:14You're good at making ladies drinks.
28:16Do you want a soft drink?
28:17Oh, I do.
28:18It's pretty good, that one.
28:19It's pretty good, that one.
28:20Ooh.
28:21Yeah.
28:21I can't believe you love straws.
28:23Are they beaten me?
28:24I don't know.
28:25I don't know.
28:26Why don't we play Cards Against Decency?
28:28Ooh!
28:29Ooh, yeah.
28:30No, we can't.
28:31I went and chucked them out.
28:32What?
28:32Why?
28:33Because he was reading all the cards and quoting from them randomly.
28:36It's like we were living with Frankie Boyle.
28:38I know a game I can play.
28:40Mm.
28:41Go on, then.
28:42Let's play Truth or Dare.
28:45Oh, nah.
28:48It's well boring.
28:49And anyway, everyone chooses dares, so...
28:52So, you book the trend then, Charity.
28:55Go Truth.
28:57Ooh!
28:58Anyone want another drink?
28:59Mm.
29:00Yeah, yeah, I'll have another one, thanks.
29:01Erm.
29:02Or, I've got another one.
29:03Oh, this is a really good one.
29:05Never Have I Ever.
29:06Shall we play that?
29:07Why don't we play it in a minute when you've had some fresh air, darling?
29:10Never Have I Ever.
29:12Ooh!
29:13Let's think, what shall I go with?
29:15Never Have I Ever.
29:16Come on.
29:17Never Have I Ever.
29:19Ripped!
29:20Get anyone's head off their shoulders, please.
29:22Do you know what?
29:23The night is yet young.
29:24Come on!
29:25Never Have I Ever.
29:26Never Have you Ever been this trouble, lady.
29:27Oh, shit.
29:28I'm out.
29:29I'm out.
29:30Oh, shit.
29:31Come on, then.
29:33Who are ya?
29:34Well, I've done this.
29:48Have you lost your time, yeah?
29:51Oh, no.
29:52Wait, that's right.
29:53because I'm going to cut it off, and that's just for the start.
29:59Well, that's a big threat.
30:01From a man in your very precarious position.
30:23You know what? I know who you are.
30:31Yeah.
30:33Saved on introductions.
30:35Johnny Psycho, the murderer.
30:37Not true.
30:40That kid wrapped himself up in that bowl and then jumped in the lake, did he, yeah?
30:44Show some respect.
30:46That kid had a name.
30:48Nate.
30:49And his death was an accident.
30:51Oh, right.
30:52That would not be why nobody hates you, then.
30:55Nobody refers to you as a massive nutter.
31:00Not very popular, were you?
31:12Now, truth be told, I made some mistakes.
31:16I let things slip.
31:18But now I'm going to make up for it.
31:22A storm's coming.
31:27Not literally, idiot.
31:30Rude.
31:30You caused a bit of one, though, didn't you?
31:36What, with your little siege?
31:37Yeah, I read all about that in the news.
31:40Sword.
31:40Very, er...
31:41Very visually arresting.
31:46Not quite as effective as a bullet, though.
31:48I came this close
31:49to putting one through your husband's head yesterday.
31:54Just after I drugged you
31:55and stopped you shooting my husband.
31:57You know, I was so wrong about you.
32:02You're completely mentally stable.
32:04Aaron really does not know what he's missing.
32:07Aaron is not going to miss out on anything.
32:08He knows where his future lies.
32:11But there's a bit of work to be done first, though.
32:15Because this is your little squat, is it?
32:17I like what you've done with the place.
32:20Well, I see.
32:22Yours, it's, er...
32:23It's mine, now.
32:26Well, it suits you.
32:29Just need to knock together a little padded cell for you.
32:32Because that's where you're ending up.
32:34I'm ending up with Aaron.
32:37Together, like we are meant to be.
32:39Happy, content, and committed to each other.
32:43With you and Robert nowhere to be seen
32:45by anyone ever again.
32:49Tell me one thing me coming clean will achieve.
32:52I'll tell you two.
32:53She'll know the truth.
32:55Jacob will know the truth.
32:56And also Mac will know the truth.
32:57And yet, I know that's three.
32:58I've had a drink, Sue me.
33:00Oh, no.
33:00Beautiful speech, Vanessa.
33:02Have you got another one to help Sarah
33:03pick herself up off the floor
33:05once her life's in bits?
33:07Feels like that's your job, don't you think?
33:09No, it doesn't have to be anybody's job
33:11if I just...
33:12If they just...
33:12If they just lie to her for the rest of my life.
33:15She's never going to forgive me for this,
33:16and you know that.
33:19Oh, no.
33:21Mmm.
33:23Effort at that, Liam.
33:24You know, I've always thought of Eat and Mess
33:25as one of those terrible games
33:26that they play at boarding school.
33:28Oh!
33:29Well, it's a good thing we've finished our food
33:31before you gave us that disgusting image.
33:39Kindred spirits.
33:40Oh, cute.
33:41I am, actually, yeah.
33:42Do you have any idea how hard it is
33:43to find a grave on Christmas Day?
33:44Since that's where you've been.
33:47Oh, sorry.
33:54Is this a private party?
33:56It doesn't have to be.
33:58Sit down.
33:58We didn't want to intrude.
34:00No, no, no.
34:00Not at all.
34:01Is Mary not with you?
34:02No, she's a...
34:03She's a very keen Scrabble player.
34:06Very keen.
34:07And serious.
34:07We didn't lie to her.
34:10I said I wanted to check on Kevin.
34:12What?
34:13To see if he'd checked in with you at all.
34:15Has he?
34:15No.
34:17I got a card.
34:18Just said Kay.
34:19I know what he's done.
34:22But no one should be alone at this time if you...
34:24Do you want a drink?
34:26Ooh.
34:26I reckon Clorette could be trouble on bubbles.
34:29I'm not.
34:30I'm Randy on Shandy.
34:31Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
34:33I'll have a Shandy.
34:34No, just joking.
34:36Or am I?
34:37Ooh.
34:38Cheers, everyone.
34:40Well, just...
34:41Just hang on a sec.
34:46I'm not really a fan of publicly humiliating myself.
34:50Oh, well, that's not true.
34:51But carry on.
34:52Oh, it's good.
34:53It's very good.
34:55I just...
34:56I just wanted to say...
34:58This year has been a bit...
34:59Well, I mean, even my R standards...
35:01It's been a weird one.
35:06It's been hard, mostly.
35:07And very hard.
35:10Sometimes.
35:14And scary.
35:16And...
35:17It's been sad.
35:22But it's also been...
35:25Amazing.
35:28And although you...
35:29Most of you are...
35:31A pain in the backside.
35:34You're family.
35:35We're family.
35:39And...
35:40I'm glad we've got each other.
35:43So, you know...
35:44Merry Christmas.
35:47Merry Christmas.
35:47Merry Christmas.
35:49Merry Christmas.
35:51Family.
35:52Well, and you.
35:55Sarah wants this baby so much.
35:58No, she wants her baby so much.
36:01And this isn't that.
36:03You got pregnant by your husband.
36:06Your husband.
36:07Who's already had one child ripped out of his life.
36:10And despite your age-defying lady bits,
36:13isn't likely to get another chance at being a dad.
36:16Charity, it's just...
36:17It's so wrong on so many levels.
36:20Do you know what else it is?
36:22None of my business.
36:24Bingo.
36:25So, do you know what I'm going to do?
36:26Right now.
36:26I'm going to go home and I suggest you follow and get Johnny and go home yourself.
36:31Preferably without shouting your mouth off.
36:33Merry Christmas.
36:52Merry Christmas.
36:53Merry Christmas.
36:54Merry Christmas.
36:55Right.
36:56Torch is on.
36:59OK.
36:59Let's go see Grandad.
37:00Do you want it?
37:01We'll swap.
37:03Bye.
37:07Bit a bit quiet on the way over here.
37:10You been thinking about your mum?
37:13Always.
37:16I didn't even get to buy her a present.
37:17Oh, yeah.
37:19I'll never get to buy her a present again.
37:23Ka-ching.
37:28What are we doing?
37:30Well, you didn't think that spanner was your Christmas present, did you?
37:32Here, now.
37:43What's this?
37:44This is a lot of hard work.
37:48So, are you up for it?
37:49Me?
37:50Why?
37:50Because this is your car.
37:54Merry Christmas, son.
37:56Is it actually mine?
37:58Well, I mean, it's a bit of a stare at the moment.
38:00OK.
38:00Well, it won't be when we're finished, though, because me and you are going to turn this into
38:07the best car for miles.
38:09Three years.
38:10What?
38:10Well, you know, until you're old enough to drive it when you're 17.
38:14So, are you up for it or what?
38:16Yeah, definitely.
38:17OK.
38:17OK.
38:19OK.
38:20OK.
38:20OK.
38:21OK.
38:22OK.
38:22OK.
38:22OK.
38:23OK.
38:24So, let's go.
38:54Like I didn't exist.
39:24Can you stop walking into me, please?
39:30Well, we're certain it's me that's walking into you, are we?
39:33Absolutely. 110%.
39:35Oh, no. Don't be that person.
39:37What person?
39:38A butcher of percentages.
39:41Butcherer is not a word.
39:43Yes, it is.
39:44What's it mean, then?
39:46Someone who butchers.
39:49It's just a butcher.
39:51Are you going to open the door, then, or what?
39:53You've got the keys.
39:54Oh, you've got the keys?
39:55You've got the keys in your hand right now.
39:58Oh!
39:59I think I might be a bit drunk.
40:02Yeah, well, you're stone-cold sober compared to Aron.
40:04Do you think he's still asleep?
40:06Oh, yeah.
40:07He'll be flat out in that back room all night.
40:11Right.
40:13Hush!
40:15Where have you been?
40:20Out.
40:21Yeah, I think the clue was when you walked back in.
40:24Where'd you go?
40:26I went for a walk.
40:28Oh, right.
40:30Be like that, mister...
40:31international man of mystery.
40:37So...
40:38Not an easy day, then.
40:41Well, it's been fun.
40:43Where is everyone?
40:44Uh...
40:47Vanessa and Johnny have gone home.
40:49Sarah and Jacob went out with Moses on his new scooter, and...
40:53Ross trailed off like a bad smell on a gentle breeze.
40:58We are alone.
41:01For once.
41:04Do you want to take advantage?
41:05Mm-hmm.
41:07And we're good.
41:09We're great.
41:12Come on, then.
41:14and we'll get you to a good house.
41:15You want to get inside?
41:17We're gonna go.
41:19I'm just going to get inside.
41:22You want to get inside?
41:23Yeah.
41:24Yeah.
41:25You want to get inside?
41:26Yeah, sorry.
41:27Yeah.
41:28Hey, glad tidings on the road.
41:29Hey, glad tidings running all.
41:40Oh, back out of your boat.
41:41All that.
41:59That's better.
42:24Big day, eh?
42:38Big year.
42:39I thought it was going to be the best year ever, but...
42:43Hey, I'll go and check, won't be safe.
42:50I'll go.
42:57I'll go.
42:59No, he's fine.
43:24He won't be tomorrow, but that's his problem.
43:29So many people care about you, but not one of them as much as I do.
43:432025 has been a shocking year, but...
43:47But 26, no.
43:50That is going to be the best year ever.
43:54Because you and me, we're going to be together.
43:57And now we're...
43:59And now we're...
44:01We're going to be together.
44:03And now we're going to be together.
44:07Transcription by CastingWords
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