- 2 hours ago
Emmerdale - Season 54 Episode 243 -
Thursday 25th December 2025
Thursday 25th December 2025
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FunTranscript
00:00Music
00:26Merry Christmas!
00:28Merry Christmas!
00:29Merry Christmas!
00:30Merry Christmas!
00:31Is it though?
00:32Cos I'm out here in the cold running a mulled wine stall that was your idea while you're
00:36in the warm like the ghost of Christmas.
00:38Merry Christmas!
00:39Oh I don't know who he was!
00:40Get your bum out here now!
00:45I don't expect him a shot any time.
00:47It's a public street and it's on Christmas Day.
00:50So that means it's not allowed, is it?
00:52Merry blah blah.
00:53Why don't you have some of this muck?
00:54Well, salesperson of the year.
00:56Cheers.
00:57Hiya Lord.
00:58Merry Christmas.
00:59Merry Christmas.
01:01Looks like we should be singing Feed the World.
01:04We will not be caught with insufficient food, will we?
01:06Look at all those vegetables!
01:08I know!
01:09You're not wearing your present?
01:10Er, er, no I will.
01:12Right, come on.
01:13Let the peeling commence after you, Gabner.
01:18What present has he got that you can't wear out here?
01:21Do we really want to know?
01:22He got me a Cardi.
01:24Right, because you're 74 years of age.
01:26And, er, murder mystery thing.
01:28Where have you got to go for that?
01:29Oh, I don't know.
01:30Some hotel in Weatherfield.
01:32Where?
01:33Oh, God knows.
01:34Weatherfield?
01:35No.
01:36Really.
01:37Merry Christmas!
01:38Too early?
01:39I like that you're so keen.
01:40Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:41Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:42Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:43Yeah.
01:44Merry Christmas.
01:45Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:46Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:47Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:48Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:49Oh, oh, oh.
01:50Oh, oh, oh.
01:51We're still on for yours later.
01:52Uh-huh.
01:53Right.
01:54Been late afternoon.
01:55Got a few guests here.
01:56Right, see you later.
01:57Yeah.
01:58Hey!
01:59Merry Christmas.
02:00Hey!
02:01Merry Christmas.
02:02Good to you.
02:03I got a scooter.
02:04Yeah, same.
02:05Yay!
02:06So that means that no-one's safe.
02:07Why don't we go and terrorise the rest of the village?
02:09Come on.
02:10Come on.
02:11Oh, yeah, go on.
02:12Oh, yeah.
02:13Come on, yeah.
02:14Oh, yeah.
02:15Good to you.
02:16I got a scooter.
02:17Yeah, same.
02:18Yay!
02:19So that means that no-one's safe.
02:20Why don't we go and terrorise the rest of the village?
02:22Come on.
02:23Oh, yeah, go on.
02:24Oh, yeah, go on.
02:25Oh, yeah.
02:26Oh, yeah.
02:27Eh, question.
02:28How come I didn't get a scooter?
02:30I spent enough on you on my little pony, thank you.
02:32On another one, love.
02:34Yeah, go on one.
02:35It's not for me.
02:36I've, er, actually got somewhere.
02:37Didn't go off to.
02:38There we go.
02:39Where are you going?
02:41Robert, where are you going?
02:44Merry Christmas!
03:02So, do you like it?
03:04Yeah.
03:05Really?
03:06Of course.
03:08Well, why are you just giving one-word answers then?
03:10I love it.
03:11Thanks.
03:12It's just them two.
03:14Flipping hijacking things yesterday.
03:16Yeah, I know.
03:17I'm not exactly chuffed about it either,
03:18but let's not let it ruin our Christmas as well.
03:25Oh, my God!
03:26This is so much better than mine!
03:28I know.
03:30Did you just guess it was gonna be a girl?
03:32I bought two lots.
03:33I'm sending the blue ones back.
03:34Yeah, very clever.
03:36Hey!
03:37Happy Christmas!
03:42Yeah.
03:43What he said.
03:46Sorry, got a bit of a head.
03:48Celebrating, were you?
03:50Only a bit.
03:51Sure.
03:53How are we?
03:56Disappointed.
03:57It was a bit, you know...
04:02It was massively out of order.
04:04And bonkers.
04:05Last night was supposed to be our wedding night.
04:07Well, you don't need the ring to do the thing.
04:10Seriously.
04:12Sorry.
04:13Well, tell me at your grand's.
04:15Whenever we want.
04:16Yeah.
04:17The sooner the better.
04:18I'm dressed.
04:19Mm-hmm.
04:20Sherry?
04:27Computer, stop.
04:29Would you like me to play more Christmas music?
04:32Definitely not.
04:33Now playing Jingle Bell Rock.
04:36Computer, stop.
04:38Stop.
04:51Oh, no.
04:52Now playing Gold.
04:55Computer, stop.
04:56Or I swear.
04:57Now playing Walking in the Air.
04:59Oh, I like this one.
05:11Here's the thing about knocking on a door that you don't seem to understand.
05:16Spare me the sarcasm.
05:18Wow.
05:19What did you get for Christmas?
05:20Big box feisty?
05:21I made a mistake yesterday.
05:23When I binned you off.
05:25Making one now if you think that's what happened.
05:28I may have overreacted slightly.
05:31Truth is, I need a posh friend in me life.
05:35Gives me an air of mystery.
05:37Like people think, oh, I wonder what Kim sees in that one.
05:40And it's nice.
05:42Just being here.
05:44Basking in your magnificence.
05:46And it makes me realise how lucky I am.
05:49You and I being mates.
05:51Like when you're having issues with your caviar not being the right temperature.
05:55Or too many bubbles in your champagne.
05:57And I think to myself,
05:59At least I don't have Kim's troubles.
06:02So, I'm willing to accept your apology.
06:06And give you another chance.
06:08You'd better pour yourself a drink then.
06:12What kind of host are you?
06:14How are you?
06:15Good thanks.
06:16How are you really?
06:17Not great.
06:18Come here.
06:19Come here.
06:20Come here.
06:21Come here.
06:22Come here.
06:23Come here.
06:24Come here.
06:25Come here.
06:26Come here.
06:27Come here.
06:28Come here.
06:29Come here.
06:30Come here.
06:31Come here.
06:32Come here.
06:33Come here.
06:34Come here.
06:35Come here.
06:36Come here.
06:37Come here.
06:38Come here.
06:39Come here.
06:40Come here.
06:41Come here.
06:42Come here.
06:43Come here.
06:44Come here.
06:45Okay.
06:46Come here.
06:57I'm on a year cos Johnny pestered.
07:00Noted.
07:02Where's the rest of you boys?
07:04Well, Noah's out working for triple time, and get this.
07:08Ryan's gone for a turkey curry with someone called Stab Wound,
07:12who we met gaming, so he's definitely getting murdered.
07:14Ha!
07:16Drink.
07:17Yeah, I'll just have one.
07:18Oh, knock yourself out, Vanessa.
07:21Slow down, Moses, and put your helmet on!
07:26He should be wearing a helmet.
07:27You're a helmet.
07:28Get a drink and just shut up.
07:34Wow!
07:37Oh, sorry? Is there a speed limit?
07:39No, there isn't. You crack on.
07:41How are you cracking on with your issue?
07:47Well, it's only an issue if someone makes it an issue.
07:50It's hardly the subject for Christmas Day, is it?
07:52Oh, I don't know.
07:53A pregnant woman and the father not being who everyone thinks it is.
07:57Oh, cute.
07:58Merry Christmas!
07:59Merry Christmas!
08:00Merry Christmas!
08:01Merry Christmas!
08:02Cheers.
08:03And to you?
08:04I didn't know you were coming for dinner.
08:05Oh, no, we're not.
08:06Oh, Johnny and Moses just said you are.
08:08He's well excited.
08:09We don't mind, do we?
08:10No, we don't mind.
08:11Brilliant idea.
08:15Hey!
08:16Merry Christmas!
08:17Where's Eve?
08:18Upstairs with Harry.
08:19Doing what?
08:20I don't know, do I?
08:21Oh, you've got it on, it looks wonderful.
08:23Yeah, you'll fit right in it, WI.
08:25Right, come on, Cardi B, get some of these pigs.
08:27How many are we feeding?
08:37Has Robert come round to yours?
08:38No.
08:39Why?
08:40Did he say he was gonna?
08:41Well, he's just got off and now he's not answering his phone.
08:42What, at all?
08:43What do you mean, at all?
08:44He's not gonna answer it a little bit, is he?
08:45Don't get crappy.
08:46Well, I'm worried, Vic.
08:47So where is he now, then?
08:48I don't know.
09:18Right, let's see who wins for a day.
09:46Oh, I won!
09:47Oh.
09:48Sorry, Liam.
09:49Right, come on, you.
09:50Let's go sit down.
09:51Wow, that Christmas lunch with Bernice really got to you, didn't it?
09:56Not the great famine of 2018, not at all.
09:58I wouldn't worry about Robert, love.
10:02Well, you would, if you knew that Kev's back, firing guns.
10:05What?
10:06What is back?
10:08Someone took a shot at us, yesterday.
10:11Where was this?
10:12At Butler's.
10:13The police reckon it was just poachers and they were stray shots.
10:17Yeah, well, they're probably right.
10:19Yeah, until we got back and there was an envelope with Kev's wedding ring and a bullet in it.
10:24Oh, my goodness.
10:25Do you reckon we should go and look for him?
10:27I was just gonna suggest it, actually.
10:29No, hang on, hang on.
10:30Where are you even gonna look?
10:31I don't know.
10:32We can't just sit here.
10:33Maybe you should call the police.
10:34And say what?
10:35That my fully grown adult boyfriend's been missing for a couple of hours.
10:38Well, I think I'd also suggest the shooting, the bullet in the ring.
10:43No Charles?
10:44He came earlier.
10:46Thought I'd give him space to be with Ethan by himself.
10:50Never gets any easier, does it?
10:53Tell me about it.
10:54Like, Christmas isn't difficult enough.
10:57I've got three brothers here as well as my dad.
11:00You must miss them very much.
11:03It's been so long.
11:05Sometimes it feels like they were never here at all.
11:09But...
11:11You must feel like Ethan's barely been gone.
11:14There are still days Charles and I still call his name.
11:19Give him my best.
11:27What are you doing here?
11:30I'm looking to buy a new carpet.
11:36So as I can sweep everything that's happened recently under it.
11:41Looks like you've already started that.
11:45Congratulations, by the way.
11:47On your engagement.
11:50Thanks.
12:00I miss him.
12:01Yeah, same.
12:02I miss you.
12:03And you.
12:04Me?
12:05Ooh.
12:06That's all right.
12:07It's Christmas.
12:08And?
12:09What happens at Christmas?
12:11Well, what usually happens is families fall out, but we've already done that.
12:26We've already done that.
12:28So is anyone open to moving on to the next phase?
12:32What's that?
12:34We stand around awkwardly, not so much, and then at some point, preferably very soon, your bags appear in the hallway at home.
12:43And it's kind of accepted that you've moved back in.
12:50That might work.
12:53Let the awkward standing commence.
12:55Oh, yes.
12:58Let's get some roasties.
13:00Oops.
13:03Hey!
13:04I told you to wait for your dad.
13:08You okay?
13:09Yeah.
13:10Have you been to Nate's grave?
13:12Yeah, I have, mate.
13:14Come here.
13:16Right, come on.
13:17Let's get this show on the road, then.
13:18You know, we've still got time for our knees up.
13:21I've got my feet up.
13:22Old.
13:23Yeah, so old.
13:24Can't even make it to the food.
13:26Come on.
13:28Has this not opened all the presents?
13:29Er, no.
13:30Not yet.
13:31Oh-ho-ho.
13:33Come on.
13:35Come on, Nadia.
13:36What have you got?
13:41What have you got?
13:42Brilliant.
13:44Now, pass this to your brother.
13:48What have you got?
13:52What have you got?
13:55Right.
13:57Hello.
13:59Hey!
14:00How are we all?
14:01Hi.
14:02How's me big man?
14:04Merry Christmas.
14:05Merry Christmas.
14:06Aw.
14:07Hello, Kane.
14:10Because it's, er, a spanner.
14:13Yeah, I got it.
14:14Merry Christmas.
14:15Yeah, Merry Christmas.
14:16Aw.
14:17Did you get anything nice?
14:18Ed Weldon.
14:19I need to get back too.
14:23And...
14:25Who are you, mister?
14:27It's just another day with our hands, isn't it?
14:30Not really.
14:31No.
14:32No, not really.
14:33No, come here.
14:37Anyway, what do you think she would want her to do, eh, your mum, if she was here?
14:40Have a good time.
14:41Have a good time.
14:42What are we going to do then?
14:43Have a good time!
14:44Have a good time!
14:45Nailed it!
14:46Right, erm, do we get our own drinks or do you like to control it?
14:50Control, Gary!
14:52Right, come on in.
14:54Brought you some company.
14:55Thanks.
14:56A lot.
14:57I really appreciate this.
14:58I hadn't relished the prospect of being in that house all day.
14:59Oh, happy birthday.
15:00Hope they're not imposing too much.
15:01How much is too much?
15:02Well, we're enjoying being here just as much as you are having us.
15:04Kim, sit down, get comfy.
15:05Oh, thanks.
15:06And you guys.
15:07Get on the, er, set here.
15:08Thanks, Sam and Lydia and Belle.
15:09Yeah, no worries.
15:10Has Billy got the kids?
15:11Yeah.
15:12Feel like we should have some kind of plaque.
15:13Kim Tate sat here.
15:14Ah, well, I've got a box of them.
15:15I'll bring you one.
15:16Really?
15:17I'll bring you one.
15:18Really?
15:19A nose hat.
15:20Oh, right.
15:21Jokes.
15:22Er, drinks.
15:23Well, Merry Christmas, everyone.
15:24Merry Christmas.
15:25Feels like I should let you drink from the welly, but it's only really for people joining
15:26family.
15:27Yeah.
15:28Yeah.
15:29Yeah.
15:30Yeah.
15:31Yeah.
15:32Yeah.
15:33Yeah.
15:34Yeah.
15:35Yeah.
15:36Yeah.
15:37Yeah.
15:38Yeah.
15:39Yeah.
15:40Yeah.
15:41Yeah.
15:42Yeah.
15:43Yeah.
15:44Yeah.
15:45Yeah.
15:46Yeah.
15:47Yeah.
15:48Yeah.
15:49Yeah.
15:50Yeah.
15:51Yeah.
15:52Yeah, yeah.
15:53Yeah.
15:54Yeah.
15:55Yeah, yeah.
15:56Well, I'm sorry for people joining family.
15:57Yeah.
15:58Well disappointed as I am to be drinking moonshine from weather resistant footwear, I'll try
15:59not to let it ruin my festive mood.
16:00Will this do?
16:01Oh?
16:02My absolute favorite.
16:03Hm.
16:08Merry Christmas!
16:09Happy Christmas!
16:11Greetings!
16:12Oh, Merry Christmas!
16:13Merry Christmas and all that.
16:14Merry Christmas and all that.
16:17Where's your dad and the kids?
16:18Well, he fell asleep, so they're drawing on his face.
16:21Nobody ever wants to finish defiling him.
16:23Yeah, Dottie's gone round to film it for you two.
16:25I thought I heard an entrance.
16:27Oh, Merry Christmas.
16:28This do you?
16:29Um, have you two met properly?
16:31Well, he's been at the cafe about half a million times.
16:33No, formally I meant.
16:36Like in Westminster Abbey or summer?
16:39Well, I've heard a lot about you.
16:40Oh, really?
16:42No, but you make a good coffee.
16:44Not been bigging me up, then?
16:47I'll let your majestic presence speak for it, sir.
16:51In a decade's time, this is what you'll have to deal with from her.
16:56I'll settle for that.
17:02Hey!
17:03Excuse me.
17:04Wow!
17:05You've finished already.
17:07I was assuming drinking quickly was some sort of rule.
17:09Yeah, but we haven't had a toast yet.
17:11Well, you're going to have to do it without me because we are going for a walk with Vinny.
17:14Was this pre-planned or is it an escape?
17:17Pre-planned.
17:18Promise.
17:19But I might see you later.
17:21It's all right.
17:21Sorry.
17:23Right then.
17:24What, er, what we're drinking to?
17:28Business as usual.
17:29Business as usual.
17:31Er, can I just check?
17:33Are you two under the impression that I'm giving you your jobs back?
17:37Because I want to make it very clear that I am.
17:41Oh, you beggar.
17:43Yeah, let's go in then.
17:44Hey, Sam.
17:47Hmm?
17:48What?
17:51No.
17:51What?
17:52Do you want?
17:54Want what?
17:55Drink from the welly.
17:57Drink from the welly.
17:59Drink from the welly.
18:01This is getting weird.
18:04Drink from the welly.
18:06Drink from the welly.
18:07Drink from the welly.
18:09Drink from the welly.
18:11Drink from the welly.
18:12Drink from the welly.
18:13Ooh.
18:14Ooh.
18:15Ooh.
18:16Ooh.
18:17Hey.
18:18Hey.
18:19Still don't mean you're a dingle, Will.
18:21Oh, imagine my devastation.
18:23Not that this isn't the pinnacle of my drinking experiences,
18:27but would anyone care for some red wine from my salon?
18:30I thought you just kept corpses in that.
18:32Yes, that sounds really good.
18:33Let's go.
18:34OK, I'll come with you.
18:35Can I choose some or not?
18:36Well, we'd be foolish to disregard your impeccable taste.
18:40Is that a yes or a no?
18:41Come on, Sam.
18:44It's all right, I've...
18:45Nothing with dust on.
18:49I was banging on at you a bit earlier, weren't I?
18:53Well, we all need banging on at from time to time.
18:57But time to time, not all the time.
19:00Noted.
19:02You know, you're lucky.
19:05I know.
19:06And Sam is extremely lucky.
19:08Oh, I don't know about that.
19:10Yes, you do.
19:11He looks after me.
19:13Well, I'm glad to hear it.
19:17Would you mind if I looked after you two?
19:19What do you mean?
19:21Oh, like, say...
19:23You still inheriting Home Farm?
19:34Have you forgotten how to count?
19:36I tried to prepare for everything beyond the extent of preparation.
19:40Do you know who's in that?
19:41Nelson Mandela.
19:42Taylor Swift.
19:43Right, come on.
19:44Let's go look for him.
19:45Chas, can you watch Harry?
19:46No need.
19:47But he's about to turn six, not six...
19:49Finally!
19:51You knew I was nipping out.
19:52And where have you been getting your phone fixed?
19:54Been calling you.
19:55What, because I've been gone a couple of hours?
19:57And it's been longer than that.
19:58Well, it must have been on silent.
20:00Sorry.
20:01Well, it's just...
20:02We thought, you know...
20:03Kev had got you.
20:04Told us about it yesterday.
20:05What?
20:06No, no.
20:07Don't worry about that.
20:08Done with that madman interfering with our lives.
20:10Hello, hello!
20:11Hey!
20:12First of all, greetings.
20:13Oh, hiya.
20:14Merry Christmas.
20:15I thought you were off seeing Steph.
20:16Nana's tomorrow.
20:17Are we all right?
20:18Yes, don't worry.
20:19The Taylor Swift Appreciation Society has got it all covered.
20:22She caught you in that sparkly dress again.
20:24You wish.
20:25Oh, you come bearing gifts.
20:26How come you're suddenly not worried any more?
20:29Because what's the point?
20:31It's Christmas.
20:33Relax.
20:41I love you, too.
20:42Yes, we can leave.
20:44Cool, join us.
20:45I love you.
20:47You only can't make any more.
20:49No, we don't want to make any more.
20:50You can't make any more.
20:51Good night.
20:52Yep.
20:53Get an eye on the trail.
20:54I love you.
20:55But if you don't have to find the way,
20:56I need to sign the way,
20:57I'll do it.
20:58I will do it.
20:59I will do it.
21:00Time for you.
21:01I'll pass.
21:02You help me!
21:03After all, the devil is gonna be able to get a little.
21:04You can't make any more.
21:05I'll do it.
21:06You can't do it.
21:07I'll do it.
21:08I'll do it.
21:09So, Eric, this thing with you and Kerry, was it a slow burn or...?
21:17Kerry and I have been extremely fond of each other for a very long time.
21:24And the fondness has blossomed into a deep and mutual love.
21:32Right?
21:33You're supposed to catch it.
21:39Oh, right.
21:42Now what?
21:45Eat it, boo.
21:47Put it on your heart.
21:49Sweet, sweet, sweet!
21:52Nice fit, mate.
21:55A counterfeit.
21:57Thanks for these. They're great.
21:59You're welcome, babe.
22:00So, are you like a grandad?
22:02Now you two are married.
22:05Is that okay?
22:08Doesn't make a difference.
22:10Oh!
22:12Banger!
22:13Oh, there she goes.
22:21Yes, kid!
22:22No, kid!
22:25Hey, where are you going?
22:27Quiet Christmas, you said.
22:28Right, come on, you, let's go.
22:29Bring that with you.
22:30Yeah.
22:31Okay, see you later, take care, bye.
22:32Bye!
22:33Bye!
22:40Oh!
22:41One of them stoops to visit downstairs.
22:42Are the other two joining us any time soon?
22:44I mean, do they know it's Christmas time?
22:46At all?
22:47Well, the presents were a bit of a clue.
22:49Er, but, yeah.
22:50I've got a little something for you.
22:52Dylan!
22:53Are you guests?
22:54All right, everyone?
22:55Merry Christmas.
22:56You said you couldn't get out of hospital.
22:57Yeah, I lied. I'm out.
22:58How are you feeling, sweetheart?
22:59Er, better for seeing this one.
23:00Well, it's been so long.
23:01You okay?
23:02Hello.
23:03Come here, I love you.
23:04Gonna be all right, aren't we?
23:05Yeah.
23:06Where's Eve?
23:07Er, with Chas.
23:08Where's your mum?
23:09She's with, er, with Charles and Claudette.
23:10Oh, she's blowing you out, she?
23:11Yeah, that's it.
23:12At least you know who your parent is.
23:14Sorry.
23:15Sorry.
23:46I thought, dear wife, is Christmas Day a fink?
24:08OK, right, it's a book.
24:10Oh, this should be good.
24:12What the ladybird heard!
24:14No? What the ladybird heard next?
24:17Well, that's the only two books you've ever read.
24:19Oh, er, The Godfather, that's a book.
24:21No, no, no, no, we have to wait, right, for how many words first?
24:24Right, of course.
24:25All two, all four words.
24:27Four words, that's barely a headline.
24:29That's how many words are in the title?
24:32Oh, erm, Fifty Shades of Grey.
24:34Oh, well, if you start mumming now, I'm gouging my own eyes.
24:37No, Grey, he's going to give us some clues, all right?
24:40You're like Crocodile Dundee when he went to New York
24:43and had not a clue what was going on.
24:45Ooh, Jimmy and his highbrow cultural reference.
24:47Anyway, you Ray knows plenty about Christmas.
24:49Show him your bracelet.
24:50No, no, no, no, we're playing a game!
24:52We're playing a game!
24:53Ooh, fancy.
24:55What have you been doing? Mining cryptocurrency?
24:57Oh, nothing that lucrative.
24:59Lucrative enough?
25:00I had nothing better to spend my money on.
25:02Oh, thanks.
25:03No, no, I didn't.
25:04Oh, no, don't battle!
25:05I'm really offended.
25:06Look, this is going to take all day.
25:09I'm going to give you a verbal clue.
25:10It's what I want to do to Nicola, sometimes.
25:13Sexy time.
25:14Oh, no.
25:15Not on a Thursday.
25:17Hang on.
25:18I know it.
25:19Tequila Mockingbird.
25:21Ooh!
25:22Ooh!
25:23You got it!
25:24You got it!
25:25You got it!
25:26Boy, new man.
25:27Wait till you're asleep and see what happens to your face.
25:28Mwah!
25:29Right, come and get another drink.
25:30And then I'm telling you everything you're going to be buying me for Christmas next year.
25:34Is this too much?
25:36This is the best Christmas ever.
25:38Oh!
25:39I don't know whether that makes me really happy or really sad.
25:41Well, it makes me happy.
25:43Well, play your cards right and you can have another one of these next year.
25:48Yeah?
25:53Yeah.
25:54Oh!
25:55Decent, that one.
25:56Thank you for your effusive praise.
25:58Hey!
25:59Hey!
26:00So, I've got you one more present.
26:02Well, I sort of maybe kind of got it for myself, but are you ready?
26:05Go on.
26:08Eh?
26:09Yeah.
26:10We used to play that to Destruction when you were little, didn't we?
26:14I mean, literally.
26:15I think we went through about four of them.
26:16I had to buy a new one every other Christmas.
26:17And how did you manage that?
26:18Well, I used to...
26:19I found it very tense.
26:20I used to snap the little plastic doors.
26:22Yeah, you used to rage quit every time you lost, I seem to recall.
26:25I did not.
26:27Always.
26:28Anyway, she used to have such weird questions.
26:30Does yours look like it could ride a horse?
26:32Yeah, I won every time.
26:33Ridiculously.
26:34So, we're playing then or what?
26:35Well, that sounds dangerous.
26:37Yeah, and it's only for two players.
26:38There's only two pa-
26:39Look, we can team up, we can take turns.
26:44I just...
26:45I feel really lucky to be having this Christmas after where we were last year and this would
26:49just be the icing on the cake.
26:51Indulge your old dad.
26:53Fine.
26:54Yeah?
26:55Yeah.
26:56We'll play at the table.
26:57So you can turn it over and you lose.
26:58There's pudding.
27:00Hello!
27:01Hello!
27:02Can you just help?
27:03Help Dylan?
27:04Yeah.
27:05One sec.
27:06Hello?
27:07I'm coming.
27:08Things are gonna be okay.
27:09Do you know that?
27:10Yeah, I do.
27:11It's me.
27:24Promise me you'll leave my family alone.
27:39Okay.
27:40Then I'll do it.
27:41I'll come with you.
27:46Thank you!
27:52Good.
27:57Good.
28:00Here we go.
28:03What a surprise. You're good at making ladies drinks. Do you want a soft drink?
28:17Oh, I do.
28:18It's pretty good that one.
28:20I can't believe you log straws.
28:22Are they beat me?
28:23Wow.
28:24I don't know.
28:25Why don't we play cards against decency?
28:27Oh, yeah.
28:28No, we can't. I went and chucked them out.
28:31Why? Because he was reading all the cards and quoting from them randomly.
28:36It's like we were living with Frankie Boyle.
28:38I know a game we can play.
28:40Go on, then.
28:42Let's play Truth or Dare.
28:47Oh, nah. That's well boring.
28:50And anyway, everyone chooses dares, so...
28:52So, you book the trend then, Charity.
28:55Go truth.
28:57Ooh! Anyone want another drink?
28:59Yeah, yeah, I'll have another one, thanks.
29:01Or, I've got another one.
29:02Oh, this is a really good one.
29:03Never Have I Ever.
29:06Shall we play that?
29:07Why don't we play it in a minute when you've had some fresh air, darling?
29:09Never Have I Ever.
29:11Ooh!
29:12Let's think.
29:13What shall I go with?
29:14Never Have I Ever.
29:16Come on.
29:17Never Have I Ever.
29:19Ripped anyone's head off their shoulders, please.
29:21Do you know what?
29:22The night is yet young.
29:23Come on!
29:24Never Have I Ever.
29:25Never Have you ever been this drug lady.
29:28Never Have I ever been this drug lady.
29:29I'm out.
29:30I'm out.
29:31I'm out.
29:32I'm out.
29:33I'm out.
29:35I'm out.
29:36I'm out.
29:37I'm out.
29:38I'm out.
29:39I'm out.
29:40I'm out.
29:41I'm out.
29:42I'm out.
29:43I'm out.
29:44Come on, then.
29:45Who are you?
29:46My wife's done this.
29:48Have you lost your tongue?
29:51Yeah.
29:52Oh, wait.
29:53That's right.
29:54Not yet you haven't, because I'm gonna cut it off and that's just for the start.
29:58Well, that's a big threat.
30:01From a man in your very precarious position.
30:05You know, I know who you are.
30:31Yeah.
30:33Saves on introductions.
30:34Johnny Psycho.
30:36The murderer.
30:37Not true.
30:38Hmm.
30:39That kid wrapped himself up in that ball and then jumped in a lady there, yeah?
30:43Show some respect.
30:45That kid had a name.
30:48Neat.
30:49And his death was an accident.
30:51Right.
30:52Well, I'll be wired.
30:53Nobody hates you, then.
30:54Nobody refers to you as a massive nutter.
30:57Not very popular, were you?
31:01You know, truth be told, I made some mistakes.
31:16I let things slip.
31:18But now I'm gonna make up for it.
31:21The storm's coming.
31:27Not literally, idiot.
31:29Rude.
31:30You caused a bit of one though, didn't you?
31:35What with your little siege.
31:37Yeah, I read all about that in the news.
31:39A sword.
31:40Very, er...
31:41Very visually arresting.
31:43Not quite as effective as a bullet though.
31:47I came this close to putting one through your husband's head yesterday.
31:53Just after I drugged you and stopped you shooting my husband.
31:58You know, I was so wrong about you.
32:01You're completely mentally stable.
32:03Aaron really does not know what he's missing.
32:06Aaron is not gonna miss out on anything.
32:08He knows where his future lies.
32:11But there's a bit of work to be done first though.
32:13So this is your little squat, is it?
32:17I like what you've done with the place.
32:19Well, I see.
32:21Yours, it's, er...
32:23It's mine, now.
32:24Well, it suits ya.
32:28Just need to knock together a little pad itself for ya.
32:31Cos that's where you're ending up.
32:34I'm ending up with Aaron.
32:36Together like we are meant to be.
32:39Happy, content and committed to each other.
32:43With you and Robert nowhere to be seen by anyone ever again.
32:49Tell me one thing me coming clean will achieve.
32:51I'll tell you two.
32:53She'll know the truth.
32:54Jacob will know the truth.
32:56And also Mac will know the truth.
32:57And yeah, I know that's three.
32:58I've had a drink. Sue me.
32:59Oh no, beautiful speech, Vanessa.
33:02Have you got another one to help Sarah pick herself up off the floor once her life's in bits?
33:06Feels like that's your job, don't you think?
33:09No, it doesn't have to be anybody's job if I just...
33:11If they just...
33:12If they just lie to her for the rest of my life.
33:14She's never gonna forgive me for this and you know that.
33:17Mmm.
33:18Effort at Liam.
33:19You know I've always thought of Eat and Mess as one of those terrible games that they play at boarding school.
33:27Oh!
33:28Well it's a good thing we've finished our food before you gave us that disgusting image.
33:34Kindred spirits.
33:35Ah, cute.
33:36I am actually, yeah.
33:37Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a grave on Christmas day?
33:38She's that where you've been.
33:40Oh sorry, is this a private party?
33:41It doesn't have to be. Sit down.
33:42We didn't want to intrude.
33:43No, no, no. Not at all.
33:44Hey, is Mary not with you?
33:45No, she's a...
33:46She's a very keen Scrabble player.
33:47Very keen and serious.
33:48We didn't lie to her.
33:49I said I wanted to check on Kevin.
33:50Well, okay.
33:51To see if he'd checked in with you at all. Has he?
33:52No.
33:53I got a card.
33:54Just so.
33:55I got a card.
33:56Just so.
33:57I'm sorry.
33:58I'm sorry.
33:59Is this a private party?
34:00It doesn't have to be. Sit down.
34:01We didn't want to intrude.
34:02No, no, no. Not at all.
34:03Is Mary not with you?
34:04No, she's a...
34:05She's a very keen Scrabble player.
34:06Very keen and serious.
34:09We didn't lie to her.
34:10I said I wanted to check on Kevin.
34:12Well.
34:13To see if he'd checked in with you at all.
34:15Has he?
34:16No.
34:17I got a card.
34:18Just said Kay.
34:20I know what he's done.
34:22But no one should be alone at this time if you...
34:24Do you want a drink?
34:25Ooh.
34:26I reckon Claudette could be trouble on Bubbles.
34:28I'm not.
34:29I'm Randy on Shandy.
34:31I'll have a Shandy.
34:34No.
34:35Just joking.
34:36Or am I?
34:37Cheers, everyone.
34:40Well, just...
34:41Hang on a sec.
34:42I'm not really a fan of publicly humiliating myself.
34:49Oh, well that's not true, but carry on.
34:51Yeah.
34:52Ah, it's good.
34:53It's very good.
34:54Erm...
34:55I just...
34:56I just wanted to say...
34:57This year has been a bit...
34:59Well, I mean, even by our standards, er...
35:01It's been a weird one.
35:03It's been hard, mostly.
35:08And very hard.
35:10Sometimes.
35:12And scary.
35:15And...
35:16It's been sad.
35:19But it's also been...
35:24Amazing.
35:26And although you...
35:29Most of you are...
35:30A pain in the backside.
35:33Erm...
35:34You're family.
35:35We're family.
35:37And...
35:38I'm glad we've got each other.
35:41So, you know...
35:43Merry Christmas.
35:44Merry Christmas.
35:45Merry Christmas.
35:46Merry Christmas.
35:47Merry Christmas.
35:48Merry Christmas.
35:49Merry Christmas.
35:50To family.
35:51Well...
35:52And you.
35:53Sarah wants this baby so much.
35:57No, she wants her baby so much.
36:00And this isn't that.
36:02You got pregnant by your husband.
36:05Your husband?
36:06Who's already had one child ripped out of his life.
36:09And despite your age-defying lady bits,
36:12isn't likely to get another chance at being a dad.
36:15Charity's just...
36:16It's so wrong on so many levels.
36:19Do you know what else it is?
36:21None of my business.
36:23Bingo!
36:24So, do you know what I'm gonna do?
36:25Right now.
36:26I'm gonna go home.
36:27And I suggest you follow and get Johnny and go home yourself.
36:30Preferably without shouting your mouth off.
36:33Merry Christmas.
36:51Merry Christmas.
36:52Merry Christmas.
36:53Merry Christmas.
36:54Merry Christmas.
36:55Right.
36:56Torch is on.
36:58Okay.
36:59Let's go see Grandad.
37:00Do you want it?
37:01We'll swap.
37:03Bye.
37:07Bit a bit quiet on the way over here.
37:10You been thinking about your mum?
37:13Always.
37:16I didn't even get to buy her a present.
37:18Oh, yeah.
37:19I'll never get to buy her a present again.
37:23Ka-ching.
37:28What are we doing?
37:30Well, you didn't think of that spanner was your Christmas present, did you?
37:34Yeah.
37:43What's this?
37:44This is a lot of hard work.
37:47So, are you up for it?
37:48Me?
37:49Why?
37:50Because this is your car.
37:53Merry Christmas, son.
37:55Is it actually mine?
37:57Well, I mean, it's a bit of a stare at the moment.
38:00Okay.
38:02Well, it won't be when we're finished, though, because me and you are going to turn this into
38:07the best car for miles.
38:08Three years.
38:09What?
38:10Well, you know, until you're old enough to drive it when you're 17.
38:14So, are you up for it or what?
38:16Yeah, definitely.
38:17I had someOS there.
38:18I hope it's done.
38:19Look.
38:20Go over and Eric.
38:21Gotcha goes.
38:23Do you know what?
38:24I'm going to a go, right?
38:25I'm behind.
38:26Got it.
38:27I have the guts out.
38:32All right.
38:37Hey Mike.
38:38Take your part to look forward.
38:39Take your confession.
38:40Take it back off.
38:41Take your second perspective.
38:42Take it back.
38:43Take it back on, мои who will by the塔.
38:44Hang on.
38:45Like I didn't exist.
39:15Can you stop walking into me, please?
39:30Well, we're certain it's me that's walking into you, are we?
39:33Absolutely. 110%.
39:35Oh, no. Don't be that person.
39:37What person?
39:38The butcherer of percentages.
39:41Butcherer is not a word.
39:43Yes, it is.
39:44What's it mean, then?
39:46Someone who butchers.
39:49It's just a butcher.
39:51Are you going to open the door, then, or what?
39:53You've got the keys.
39:54Oh, you've got the keys?
39:55You've got the keys in your hand right now.
39:58Oh!
39:59I think I might be a bit drunk.
40:02Yeah, well, you're stone-cold sober compared to Aron.
40:04Do you think he's still asleep?
40:06Oh, yeah.
40:08He'll be flat out in that back room all night.
40:11Right.
40:12Push!
40:18Where have you been?
40:20Out.
40:21Yeah, I think the clue was when you walked back in.
40:24Where'd you go?
40:26Went for a walk.
40:28Oh, right.
40:29Be like that, Mr...
40:31International Man of Mystery.
40:37So...
40:38Not an easy day, then.
40:41Well, that's been fun.
40:43Where is everyone?
40:45Er...
40:46Vanessa and Johnny have gone home.
40:48Sarah and Jacob went out with Moses on his new scooter and...
40:53Ross trailed off like a bad smell on a gentle breeze.
40:57We are alone.
41:01For once.
41:03Do you want to take advantage?
41:04Mm-hmm.
41:06And we're good.
41:08We're great.
41:09Come on, then.
41:12Come on, then.
41:13Come on, then.
41:14Come on.
41:15Come on, then.
41:16Come on.
41:17Come on, then.
41:18Come on, then.
41:19Let's go, then.
41:21Come on.
41:22Wait a bit.
41:23Come on, then.
41:24All round.
41:25Oh, well.
41:26How you got to turn it off?
41:27Come on, then.
41:28You haven't had to turn it off.
41:29Oh, I got to your ball!
41:30Woo-hoo, that.
41:31Hey, glad tidings running out.
41:40Oh, back out of your boat.
41:41Hold that.
42:01That's better.
42:31Big day, eh?
42:38Big year.
42:41I thought it was going to be the best year ever, but...
42:45Hey, I'll go and check.
42:46Won't be sick.
42:51Big day, I'll go and check it out.
43:07I'll go and check it out.
43:13Hey, he's fine.
43:24Won't be tomorrow, but that's his problem.
43:35So many people care about you, but not one of them as much as I do.
43:412025 has been a shocking year, but...
43:47But 26, no.
43:51That is going to be the best year ever.
43:54Because you and me, we're going to be together, no matter what.
43:59We're going to be together, no matter what.
44:07We're going to be together.
44:12Transcription by CastingWords
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