- 20 minutes ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Music
00:18Music
00:20Music
00:22Music
00:26There was crassless sea bass in the drunk tank
00:34And all that sat in
00:38Won't see another one
00:42And then we sang a song
00:48The rare old mountain tune
00:52I turned my face away
00:55I love it
00:57I dreamt about you
01:00Got on a lucky one
01:05Came in and looked into one
01:09I've got a feeling
01:12Plus years remaining
01:16So happy Christmas
01:22I love you baby
01:25I can see you better
01:29Thank you
01:30Everyone needs for the song
01:32We're all at your own
01:34Let's go
01:34Let's go
01:35Let's go
01:35Let's go
01:36They got cars
01:49Big as bars
01:49They got rivers of gold
01:51But the windows run through you
01:53It's no place for the old
01:54When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve
01:57You promised me Broadway was waiting for me
02:00You were handsome
02:01You were pretty queen
02:02I knew you were studying
02:03When the band finished
02:04You know she's invited Adam and Alya don't you
02:08Oh dumb
02:09I mean she could have invited one of your exes
02:11Balance it out a bit
02:12Who's she?
02:14The cat's mother?
02:16Do you like what I got Eva?
02:17It reminds me of that quote from the bible
02:20Pearls before swine
02:22Ma
02:22What?
02:24Why is everyone so serious?
02:27Come on
02:27It's Christmas
02:28Our first guest has arrived
02:30Merry Christmas
02:31Hi
02:31Hi
02:31Hi
02:32My secret Santa contribution
02:34I hope I'm not too early
02:35Oh of course not
02:36Nalan's been on the eggnog since breakfast
02:38The mouth on that
02:40Let me get you one Megan
02:42Wait till you taste it
02:43You'll die
02:44Mwah
02:46Don't let her get to you
02:48Rise above it
02:50Oh I'm rising
02:51Practically transcendental
02:53Closed?
03:01Closed on Christmas Day?
03:03I mean it's like the ravens have left the tower
03:07They will be opening later I believe
03:10Family meal?
03:12I mean lucky for some eh?
03:14In case of I'm alright Jack
03:15If ever I've heard one
03:16Happy birthday David
03:20Yeah
03:20Ta
03:21Oh yes happy er
03:23You know
03:24Merry Christmas
03:27You're a little late for last minute shopping aren't you?
03:30Oh no I wish
03:31No
03:31Wasn't late for work
03:32See
03:33Yes fascinating
03:35I'm not surprised he doesn't want to be at home at the moment
03:40Why?
03:41Oh
03:42What's been happening at Lesbian Ranch?
03:45My donation for our secret Santa
03:54Oh yeah
03:56The table looks dead nice Eva
03:58I hope you'll be handing out sunglasses
04:00Now Ollie
04:02As wonderful as it is to see you bonding with little Frankie here
04:05Don't you think you should go check on the food?
04:08Of course
04:09Everything's under control
04:11Nan
04:11He's making my favourite
04:15A bird within a bird within a bird
04:18You seen something you don't like Maggie?
04:24Plenty
04:25Ta-da
04:30I hate leaving you on your own
04:35I'm going to sit and mope and watch everything I've circled in the TV guide
04:39Well at least you know I'll come back sober
04:42Yep
04:43Kev's enough to make anyone remaps
04:45Right
04:46Come on then me and you
04:48Let's get off
04:48To see Jack and open some presents
04:51See you later
04:52I'll open some presents
04:54Your presents
04:55It just feels weird being here
05:05Especially when I'm leaving Leanne to fend for herself at speed dog
05:08Well they invited us
05:09I know Ollie's meant to be a great cook so
05:11Come on
05:12Open it
05:12It's symbolic
05:17Of what?
05:18The key to your heart
05:19Listen
05:20I love you
05:21And I think we should move in together
05:23In fact
05:26We can pick up the keys for Kit's old flat at Red Bank whenever you want
05:29Are you serious?
05:31Yeah I'm serious
05:31Ollie and Azir
05:33Will you make me the happiest man on earth
05:35I'm with anything
05:36I'd love to
05:38Kit what did you think you were doing?
05:43Come on babe it's Christmas one or two won't hurt
05:44As long as it's only one or two
05:47Bird within a bird within a bird sounds very Henry VIII
05:53Divorced beheaded died
05:56Divorced beheaded
05:58Survived
05:59I always find that last one very disappointing
06:02Hey
06:04Hey
06:04Merry Christmas
06:05Merry Christmas Daniel
06:06Hello young man
06:07Just wanted to give Megan a Christmas present
06:08Oh and is this your little guy?
06:12Couldn't you just eat him?
06:14Come here to me
06:16Oh you're gorgeous
06:18You must stay for dinner
06:20We'll set two more places
06:22We have more company
06:23Well I'm sure Daniel's got all the places to be
06:26Hey us barlows would do anything to avoid Tracy's crusty old nut roast
06:30Perfect
06:31We'll take the little lad upstairs to where the other kids are playing
06:35And would someone give Daniel here a drink from the bar?
06:39Thought we weren't doing gifts
06:40Well aren't you going to open it?
06:42A weekend away at the Dovedale spa for two
06:54Oh wow
06:55That's supposed to be amazing
06:57Thank you
06:58Will
07:00Sorry about him
07:12He's missing his girlfriend
07:14Chloe and Hull
07:16Bless him
07:18So Audrey's gone to Gales for Christmas has she?
07:25Did she fly?
07:26Yeah bless her
07:27Oh I so miss air travel
07:29You know the glamour of the trolley dollies
07:31In flight entertainments
07:33And on one particularly memorable jaunt across the Grand Canyon
07:36The giddy thrills of the Mile High Club
07:39I hope you two don't want feeding
07:42David
07:43Worry not
07:44We're not peripatetic noshers
07:46We just dropped by to wish you felicitations of the season
07:50And a happy birthday of course
07:51Sorry David's a bit stressed
07:54His birthday present from his mum's gone missing
07:56Well I'm not bothered
07:58Do I look bothered?
07:58Yes David
07:59Actually you look incredibly bothered
08:01Oh the curse of the light fingered postman strikes again
08:04Abidemi is not light fingered
08:06Abidemi's quite fit actually
08:08Oh brat
08:09You know mother swore blind
08:11That she sent me Ben Shepard novelty coasters last Micklemas
08:15Did they arrive?
08:17Did they poncho?
08:18Gale sent a picture that the delivery driver took
08:21Whose doorstep does that look like to you?
08:23I mean I had to make my own out of cork flooring, pastry cutter and a couple of taker breaks
08:28Well it's classic Gale isn't it?
08:30She's got a postcode to house that she lived at for four million years
08:33Could that be Tim and Sally's?
08:38I don't want a stupid present anyway
08:39Now that is one hell of a moist breast
08:47Plumptious that's what it is
08:50Oh potato buds think it's Christmas
08:52Oh hang on a minute
08:53It is
08:53It is Christmas
08:54And compliments to the chef
08:56Thank you Todd
08:57Cheers
08:58Cheers
08:59Well I'm the sous chef
09:01Did you get my email?
09:05Oh I'm so sorry that's so rude of me
09:08Yes thank you very much
09:10What email?
09:12Oh someone's got in the most amazing gift she was telling us before
09:15Lovely
09:16Oh I
09:16I'm jealous
09:18I am I am spitting feathers
09:19Right so you know he really fancies Andrew Scott
09:22So I have got him tickets to an Andrew Scott retrospective at a film festival
09:27Including a Q&A with the man himself
09:30Oh was Andrew Scott in Hettie Wainthrop?
09:32Oh lucky Hettie
09:34I don't think so
09:36Didn't know you were such a fan of his canon of work
09:40I don't think it was that canon he was interested
09:43Ah what did the kids get you for you?
09:46Was it socks and smellies?
09:47Oh kids honestly
09:49They can be so unimaginative can't they?
09:52Do you know what Daisy got me one Christmas?
09:54What?
09:55A pencil sharpener
09:56No they've not got me now yet but I'm sure that'll be rectified soon
10:02I um I've got to try the form
10:05Didn't I love?
10:06Yeah
10:07It's gorgeous
10:08Oh isn't it amazing we can get the 50 piece shop these guys
10:12Andrew Scott though eh?
10:14I can't think of his
10:15He thinks you fancy Terry Scott
10:17He's that hot priest in that thing where she went round being posh talking to him
10:21Oh yes no I know I know yeah yeah
10:24Speaking of vicars
10:25But he's taking his time isn't he?
10:28Yeah it's his busiest day of the year isn't it?
10:29No
10:30Ah all these hot priests everywhere eh?
10:33What a lucky boy you are Torrey
10:35This is lovely
10:38Mmm
10:39Mmm mmm
10:39Very good
10:41You alright Lisa Lou?
10:46Um I got a text from Roy
10:50He says you rang the hotel that car had bought telling you she never checked in
10:53Oh no biggie
10:54Maybe she changed her mind and went somewhere else
10:57Well obviously she went somewhere else
10:59The question is where and she's disabled the tracker on her phone so
11:03Right
11:04Well I'm nipping out for an hour
11:08What now?
11:10Well I can't divulge too much but even on Christmas day there's stuff I need to sort for Spain
11:14Crikey you're in and out more times than I've been Carla
11:17Sorry
11:19Mmhmm
11:20Sorry
11:23Hey
11:35I just wanted to check you were cool with me and Ali of being here
11:38Maggie kind of press ganged us
11:40Yeah she's good at that it's fine darling
11:42You okay?
11:44My letter
11:45Which letter?
11:47The letter?
11:49I think someone's taken it out of my bag
11:51Look let me have a look in your bag maybe a fresh pair of ice
12:10I've done nothing but check it fill your boots
12:11I don't believe that it's just fallen out somewhere
12:16Well if it has someone's obviously chucked it which is a good thing
12:19No news is good news
12:20I feel sick it's not there is it?
12:23No
12:23Oh do you know what Maggie's been so off with me
12:26But then she's like that every day isn't she?
12:27I'm sure if she'd found it you'd know by now
12:29Yeah that's true
12:30Look calm down
12:31Deep breaths
12:32Alright babe
12:34Everything alright in here?
12:36Yeah fine
12:37I better um
12:39Listen babe I've got no problem with your ex being here but holding hands
12:46I know I'm sorry
12:47What happens the next time we walk in he's unhooking your bra
12:49He was just giving me a pep talk
12:51With his fingers
12:52Babe I was just getting wound up about Maggie he was just calming me down
12:56So come to me not Bonnie Prince Charlie
12:57I know I'm sorry
12:59Look for what it's worth I'm sorry about my ma
13:01Which bit?
13:03All of her
13:04Come on babe strength in the numbers
13:07Come on babe strength in the numbers
13:07You alright?
13:26I'm sorry to hear about your mum
13:31It's what it is
13:34Happens to us all eventually I guess
13:37You must miss her
13:43I'm being daft really but
13:45Yeah
13:46Nothing daft about it
13:48People are still around you want to make the most of him
13:52It's what we need isn't it
13:56What?
13:59Human contact
14:00You haven't stolen Gail's presents
14:05Yeah but that looks like your doorstep
14:08Doesn't it?
14:10That's nothing like our doorstep you plump
14:12Well Mary said it was
14:14Well has Mary got a degree in step recognising?
14:17Well it might have been Brian
14:20Have you been shaming us on some sort of chat group?
14:23No they came round for Christmas drinks
14:25Since when were you Pally with Brian and Mary?
14:29I'm not
14:29You've never invited us round for Christmas drinks
14:31Look I'm sure I would have noticed if one of our presents said
14:34Happy birthday David love mum
14:36Yeah
14:38Yeah I suppose
14:39Well it don't mind I'm not bothered anyway
14:41Didn't want to tell your face that
14:42Do you know what Tim forget it
14:47Mmm
14:49Nice ta
14:51Very festive
14:53I made that
14:55Yeah
14:57Bit dry
14:59Well now you've had your meds and some scram
15:02You're going to leave a nice reassuring voice note for my lady wife
15:05No I'm not
15:07I'm not doing it
15:09You know when she realises I'm missing
15:12She'll come looking for me
15:14Oh right
15:16Do you really think so?
15:19You see that's not the impression I got last night when she was
15:24Oh no I don't want to rub it in
15:26You can probably smell her perfume on me
15:32If I found the evidence that you're corrupt
15:35It's only a matter of time before there's due to
15:38Oi Miss World shut your face
15:40Just need to reply to my lease
15:46Just need to reply to my lease
15:48Oh she wants me
16:01Maybe I'm just better than you
16:05Oh did I mention that we slept together last night?
16:08Again
16:09My bad
16:11Naughty Becky
16:13That's what she said actually
16:17He's acting like you used to a serious
16:27Oh come on it's not like I got him a present
16:30Or me
16:31Oh really?
16:33Well I feel a bit daft now
16:38Well I feel a bit daft now
16:40Well open it then
16:46A new earbuds
16:47Thanks
16:52There you are
16:53I feel I should be banging a gong
16:55Come in now will you
16:56Dinner is served
16:58I've got a skirt on
16:59It's a skirt
17:04Um
17:05Oh
17:06Oh
17:07Sound of music
17:08Yes yes yes
17:09My girl
17:10My girl
17:11My girl
17:12Oh
17:13I love that film
17:14I did
17:15I played Maria on the ships
17:16Oh here we go
17:17Here we go
17:18We did the whole thing in 40 minutes
17:19It was basically edited highlights
17:21It was me spinning around on the Alp
17:23And then it cut straight to that Rolf
17:24Pulling a gun on those poor kiddies
17:26Good heavens
17:27Oh
17:28Thank kiddies
17:29The wrong side of third
17:30And then no still
17:31The audience went nuts for it
17:32Oh
17:33I've got loads of these fascinating anecdotes
17:34I'll lend it
17:35No if you ever suffer from insomnia
17:36Phone her up and ask her about a 12 minute chitty chitty bang
17:39Right here we go
17:40Okay it's the song
17:41Oh the song
17:42It's hard to tell with your acting
17:43Oh shut up
17:44Oh Rick
17:45Five words
17:46Yes please love
17:47Okay first word
17:48First word
17:49First word
17:50You okay?
17:51They're not answering
17:52Who?
17:53I'm trying to video call the kids
17:55What are you doing?
17:58What are you doing?
18:00Oh
18:01Oh
18:02He's
18:03A little more tips than anything sir
18:04I'll um
18:05Yes boy
18:06Good boy
18:07Oh
18:09No words
18:10Exactly
18:11This is so much better than Tracy's nuts
18:13What is it exactly?
18:16It's a bird within a bird within a bird
18:20Ollie?
18:21It's a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey
18:24Do you like it?
18:25Yeah it's fantastic isn't it?
18:26Mmm so are the roasties
18:27Mmm
18:28And this not roast is definitely not crusty
18:30My grandson is a very special cook
18:33In fact all my boys are special
18:36And they deserve to be surrounded by special things Lauren
18:44How are the kids well?
18:45Yeah fine
18:46You're not tempted to stay with them?
18:48My boys deserve only the best
18:53In life
18:54In work
18:55And especially
18:56In love
19:03Is it time for Secret Santa yet?
19:05Food first
19:07Fun later
19:08So um
19:11Do you like being a chef?
19:13I do
19:14Yeah
19:15Yeah well I'm in rubbish company
19:16I bet you're not
19:17Nah I am
19:18I could burn a salad
19:19We'll have to pouch you for speed darling
19:21You'll need a big pan
19:23That wee lad's going nowhere
19:25Wee lad? I bet you like that mate
19:26I think I'll always be his wee lad
19:29A toast
19:30To my boys
19:32Merry Christmas
19:33Merry Christmas
19:34Merry Christmas
19:35Merry Christmas
19:38Hey
19:39Hey
19:40The Poland Express is on later
19:42I thought we could all
19:43Hunker down and watch it together
19:46Don't confuse the boundaries Kev
19:48We did this for the lads
19:50Confuse the boundaries?
19:52I'm not throwing me lips on you
19:53He's one I've lost
19:54I'm over it
19:55Kev
19:56Look he might be younger than me
19:57He might be better looking than me
19:58Don't
19:59You know I can't call with this
20:00I've got a text card telling me we're coming home
20:03Alfie
20:05We need to go now kiddo
20:06Can you hurry up?
20:08Oh my god
20:11Hmm
20:18Gee
20:19Lo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
20:20I'm fine
20:21Oh my god
20:22Oh my god
20:23Oh my god
20:24Oh my god
20:25Oh my god
20:26Oh my god
20:27Oh my god
20:28Oh my god
20:29Love the nightmare
20:30Oh my god
20:31Oh my god
20:34Mobile answer call on speakerphone
20:35I'll answer a call on speakerphone.
20:38Colin?
20:40Colin, are you there?
20:44They have a weird concept, isn't it?
20:47Secrets on tap.
20:48Well, it's a bit weird buying vouchers for spa weekends
20:51for people you hardly even know.
20:53It's a family tradition.
20:55Do you know what? I actually do need socks.
20:57I said that this morning, didn't I?
20:58She did.
20:59Your pillow talk is outrageous.
21:02And the next one is for...
21:07Drumroll, please.
21:08Oh.
21:12Ben.
21:13Wee-hey.
21:18Is it a jigsaw?
21:19Oh, come on, what is it?
21:20Wouldn't you like to know?
21:25To my baby.
21:26Give it to me.
21:27Let him read.
21:28Ben, give it to me, please, give it to me.
21:30I said, let him read it.
21:33You bitch.
21:34Let my son read the lovely gift I got him.
21:38What is it?
21:39Oh, just evidence of an affair.
21:41What?
21:42Between Eva and Adam.
21:44Why are you so intent on killing our relationship?
21:56Maybe I don't want my son to be with a two-timing tart.
21:59Read it out to the group.
22:01Ma.
22:02It's a letter to the baby she aborted when she and Ben were going through a rough patch.
22:16Rough patch?
22:17He probably gave her a few dirty looks.
22:18He went back to his wife?
22:19And you went running back to the groin of his lordship here.
22:22Oh, sorry.
22:23Adam, my rock.
22:24This is true.
22:25Your words, not mine.
22:26There was no affair.
22:27I don't think that Adam's been...
22:28Babe, I can explain.
22:29Well, go ahead then.
22:30And Adam continued to be her rock when she aborted their child.
22:32Oh, you're not a very nice person, are you?
22:34Do you know the worst of it?
22:35It's still going on.
22:36Oh, please.
22:37No, I'm not having it.
22:38It's not because it wasn't in the first place, babe, I promise.
22:41Well, it's got enough all to do with you.
22:42Is this why you two were holding hands earlier?
22:43What?
22:44No.
22:45Are you happy now?
22:46Not by a long shot.
22:47Because you have broken my son's heart.
22:48Oh, I promise.
22:49I promise.
22:50I promise.
22:51I promise.
22:52I promise.
22:53I promise.
22:54I promise.
22:55I promise.
22:56I promise.
22:57I promise.
22:58I promise.
22:59I promise.
23:00I promise.
23:01I promise.
23:02I promise.
23:03You have broken my son's heart.
23:04Whether or not Eva had an abortion is frankly none of your business.
23:07Is it not?
23:08Frankly.
23:09Well, isn't it a woman's right to choose?
23:11What she chose was infidelity.
23:13What kind of a mother are you?
23:14Daniel.
23:15To do this to your own family and on Christmas Day.
23:18You can take that smirk off your face and all.
23:20Mate, I'm not smirking.
23:21Nothing happened.
23:22Who do you think you're giving your dirty looks to?
23:24You're completely misreading the situation.
23:25Aye.
23:26Well, misread this.
23:27Ben!
23:28Oh!
23:33Yeah.
23:34Yeah.
23:35Don't worry, Betsy.
23:36I'm fine.
23:37I'm having a really lovely holiday.
23:40Only Roy rang that hotel and you're not staying there.
23:45No.
23:46I had to move in the end.
23:49I'm staying at a new place now.
23:51It's called Rhubarb Hill Hotel.
23:55Rhubarb Hill Hotel?
23:56Yeah, yeah.
23:57I'm in the busing suite.
23:59Heh.
24:00Well, I hope you're having a good time.
24:03I'm missing you.
24:17James, get dressed and get up.
24:19Abby's on her way back.
24:20What?
24:21Just hurry up.
24:22Be quiet.
24:23I'm calling her.
24:24Hiya, love.
24:26Where are ya?
24:27I'm just outside the bay door.
24:29Wicked.
24:30Listen, would you do me a favour?
24:31Would you just go to the car and get me charger out of the glove box, please?
24:35I haven't got the keys.
24:37Oh, but I thought you always had them.
24:39Oh, God, you lazy.
24:41Oh, no, hang on.
24:42I'll tell her lie.
24:43I've got them here.
24:44Yeah, do you mind?
24:45Yeah, of course.
24:46I'm running out of juice.
24:47Yeah, of course I can.
24:48Just give us a sec.
24:49Right, well, come on.
24:51We need to go and get Cal's charger.
24:54It's wicked.
24:55One more move like that and I'm phoning the police.
25:10Why do you hate me so much?
25:12Sit down.
25:13This could take some time.
25:14Oi.
25:15Have you got anything to say for yourself?
25:17Oh, I've got plenty.
25:18And don't you oi me.
25:20Lies.
25:21All lies.
25:22I never had an affair with Adam.
25:23The letter says different.
25:24He supported me while...
25:26How can you trust a single word she says?
25:27While I was supporting our baby!
25:32What?
25:34What was with that stupid hotel name?
25:46Well, I don't know, do I?
25:48I didn't think on my feet.
25:49You had a knife pointing at me.
25:51I don't know why I said rhubarb or whatever.
25:54You're giving me a headache.
25:56Do you talk like this with Lise?
25:58No wonder she's gone off you.
26:00Biggest regret of my life, she said.
26:02Meeting Carla.
26:03The biggest regret of my life is following you here.
26:07You did not.
26:09Because I'd have known.
26:11Don't lie.
26:15Okay.
26:17All right.
26:18Costello told me the address.
26:20The rest you do know.
26:22What rest do I know?
26:23That I broke in here.
26:25That you caught me red-handed.
26:29You know, but if I were you...
26:31I wouldn't have left an incriminating burner phone just lying around linking me to a hit on Costello.
26:38Oh, you're so boring.
26:41Right.
26:43Well, I can't stand around here chewing the cud all day.
26:46People to see.
26:47Wives to bed.
26:49So she's not your wife, is she?
26:52Because you're officially dead.
26:54So that makes her your widow.
26:56Funny you mention dead.
26:59Because Lisa said that sleeping with you was like going to bed with a corpse.
27:09Happy Christmas, Ducky.
27:10Oh.
27:11Oh.
27:12Oh.
27:13Oh.
27:14Oh.
27:15Oh.
27:16Oh.
27:17Oh.
27:18Oh.
27:19Oh.
27:20Oh.
27:21Oh.
27:22Oh.
27:23Oh.
27:24Oh.
27:25Oh.
27:26Oh.
27:27Oh.
27:28Oh.
27:29Oh.
27:30Oh, now that is what I call a beautiful set of conflicts. Aren't they? Aren't you lucky?
27:33Oh.
27:34Yeah.
27:35Oh.
27:36Oh.
27:37Oh.
27:38Oh, was it a good service, Billy?
27:39It was.
27:40It was lovely.
27:41Was it all Christmassy?
27:42It was.
27:43It was.
27:44We had carols around the crib and mince pies afterwards.
27:46Oh, mince pies.
27:47You should have gone, George.
27:48Oh.
27:49Oh.
27:50Was there, erm, mulled wine?
27:52It's a family service, love.
27:54Not happy hour at the legs of man.
27:57You all right over there, Theo?
27:58Mm.
27:59Oh, sorry.
28:00Oh, sorry.
28:01Oh.
28:02Oh.
28:03Are we out staying our welcome?
28:04Oh, no, no, no, no.
28:05Oh, wait.
28:06Tell us.
28:07Well, no, you can tell me.
28:08I mean, I'm very hard to offend.
28:10Unless it's racism, I do take offence at that.
28:13No, no.
28:14Honestly, of course not.
28:15You're fine.
28:16You're a worse actor than she is.
28:20I feel like that's bullying, that.
28:22I'm going to touch with my union.
28:23National Union of Brace and Barmates.
28:27Speaking of which, shall we, erm,
28:29shall we adjourn to the Rovers?
28:31Oh, no, no, no.
28:32Don't leave on my account.
28:33Although, I think old Toddington's ready for a lie down, isn't ya?
28:36Yeah, you are looking a bit quiet over there, mate.
28:38I think he's had one of the eight.
28:40I'm fine.
28:41That's what they all say.
28:42I'll tell you what, Billy, he'll miss you.
28:44Found out today he's got a thing for old priests.
28:46I have to get myself a dog collar.
28:48Joe was put on to your castle.
28:49Oh.
28:51All right, well, erm...
28:52Yeah, well...
28:54Nice to see you both.
28:55I'll be here briefly.
28:56Come here.
28:57Yeah, sorry about that.
28:58Come here.
29:01You get your bag and I'll get your coat.
29:02Come here.
29:04Merry Christmas.
29:05Thanks ever so much.
29:09Bye, love. Bye, Summer.
29:11Yeah, get that then.
29:12All right.
29:14Bye.
29:15You know full well when we were going through a rough patch.
29:17And you know full well why we were.
29:19Don't put that on me.
29:20So this abortion's on me, is it?
29:21The only thing that I regret about that termination is not telling you.
29:25But babe, how could I?
29:26How could I bring the baby into that?
29:28You weren't even taking my calls.
29:30You were living back with the dragon.
29:32Don't call her that.
29:33And whenever we did talk to each other, we were just taking shots.
29:36And yet you still got pregnant by me.
29:39Allegedly.
29:41Don't you dare.
29:43Sorry.
29:45I was in no fit state to bring a baby and Susie up on my own.
29:49Now if I'd have thought for one second that we were going to get back together, I would have told you.
29:53So where does Adam fit into all of this?
29:56He doesn't.
29:57Not really.
29:58Except the fact that he was a supportive friend.
30:00He was meeting a client in Hull.
30:02I bumped into him at the Paragon interchange.
30:04He was getting the train.
30:05I was getting the bus.
30:06Kismet.
30:10Just to let you know, your pub is open.
30:12Oh.
30:13Oh, it's my pub when it suits you.
30:15Well, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt you to put a shift in, Maggie.
30:18Get your hands as dirty as your tongue.
30:20Are you going to let her speak to me like that?
30:22Very exciting to be summoned here.
30:28Like this.
30:29It's very nice.
30:30Quite palatial.
30:32Mind you, you must be earning a bob or two now, aren't you?
30:36So you've actually spoken to Carla?
30:39Not me.
30:40Bets.
30:41Oh.
30:42So how is she?
30:44What does she say?
30:46She said she was at a hotel.
30:48I can't believe Bets actually spoke to her.
30:50Reassuring, though.
30:51Is it?
30:52I want to be.
30:54Well, doesn't it just confirm what you've been worrying about all along?
30:58That she's ignoring you blatantly.
31:01See.
31:03I'll make a very good barrister, I will, because I've got a very incisive mind.
31:07And also, I'll look great in the wig.
31:10And the...
31:11Oh, I see.
31:13My glass appears to be almost entirely empty.
31:16It's a box.
31:17Hmm.
31:18It's warm, though, isn't it, in here?
31:19It's probably evaporating.
31:20Hi.
31:23Hi, Bonnie.
31:24I'm home.
31:25Oh.
31:26Oh.
31:27We have company.
31:28Merry Christmas.
31:29Stranger.
31:30Is that the sister?
31:31Hello.
31:33This is Roy's friend, Evelyn.
31:35Hi.
31:36I'm Kim.
31:37Hiya.
31:38I spoke to Carla.
31:39Brilliant, finally.
31:40Er...
31:41How was she?
31:42It's hard to tell, really.
31:45Erm...
31:46What are you doing?
31:47I'm ringing her.
31:48Oh, please.
31:49What?
31:50Like, she's going to answer?
31:53Don't you think you should just face facts, love?
31:57And what's that?
31:59You know, maybe...
32:02Maybe?
32:03Maybe.
32:04Maybe.
32:05She's just not cut out to be a lesbian.
32:08No, a lot of people aren't.
32:10No, I wasn't.
32:15Sorry to send you on a wild goose chase.
32:17I honestly thought my charger was in the car.
32:19Forget my own head if it wasn't screwed on.
32:21So, what have you been up to then
32:22while me and Kev have been pretending to play up with families?
32:25Oh, just...
32:27watching paint dry.
32:28Hmm.
32:29Well, sounds like me and you have had very similar days.
32:32Shall we, erm...
32:35Shall we make up for it now?
32:37What exactly were you thinking of?
32:39Well, come to the bedroom and I'll show you.
32:44Daddy?
32:45What's that aftershave you're wearing? It smells different.
32:51Must be that old shower gel I used earlier.
32:54What's this?
32:57It's nice, isn't it?
32:58I found it down the side of the couch.
33:00Must be the previous tenants.
33:04Now, where were we?
33:06En route to the bedroom.
33:08On a one-way ticket to paradise.
33:19I often wonder if you're a statue.
33:21Because you've got one hell of a brass neck on you.
33:23That secret Santa stunt was evil.
33:27I am a grandchild down because of you.
33:29Are you not going to defend me here, Ben?
33:31Why should I?
33:33She's right, it was evil.
33:35I'm not bothered.
33:37Huh.
33:39Put that drink down, Ma.
33:41And get her to my house now.
33:43I beg your pardon.
33:44I want you gone.
33:45Are you going to side with that little tart over me?
33:51Right first time.
33:52His poor beautiful face.
34:10What did you hit him?
34:12It wasn't me.
34:13When a man gets hit like that, usually over a woman.
34:17Maybe someone's got the hots for Ellia.
34:20Who doesn't have the hots for Ellia?
34:23Did I just say that out loud?
34:25Yes.
34:26George.
34:27Keep it down.
34:28People might think we're swingers.
34:29Oh, like these two.
34:31Behave yourself Mary's if we're swingers.
34:33I'll know what you're doing later.
34:37Gonna have a nice shiner, thanks to you.
34:39You had no right.
34:40Shut up.
34:41No, he's right.
34:44Adam, I'm sorry.
34:46I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.
34:47I've just spoken with the weaver and she's explained everything.
34:51Um.
34:52Accept my apology.
34:55Well, this won't be a Christmas that we forget any time, see?
34:58You've got a lot to save yourself.
35:01Eh?
35:02Sorry.
35:04And Ellia, you've got to believe Adam.
35:06None of it's true.
35:07Oh, I never believed a word.
35:08But you want to have a word with your mother.
35:11Has she calmed down?
35:13She's packing her bags.
35:14It's a vaster to leave.
35:15What?
35:17Any sign of Megan?
35:19She's gone home.
35:20She don't feel well.
35:22She wanted me to tell you, but whoops.
35:24I forgot.
35:29Listen.
35:30I know that you've got the hots for your teacher, you little git.
35:33But how about you leave her for the grown-ups, eh?
35:34There's a good life.
35:35Right.
35:36Thanks very much for a memorable day.
35:40Shall we go next door?
35:45Hey.
35:46I always wondered why you were so weird.
35:48But now that I've seen what your granny's capable of, it's all slipping into place.
35:53David!
35:54David!
35:55David!
35:56Where have you been?
35:57Er, Manor's, Will.
35:58Been helping Lauren with Frankie so she could work.
35:59Daniel's already gone, he said to say Terraro and that.
36:00Er, you need to be careful.
36:01Do I?
36:02Yes, Will, you do.
36:03You were so vile to Daniel today.
36:04Classic!
36:05I defend him, why don't you?
36:06You're gonna give the game away at this rate, and the state of it, it's all you know.
36:07He's going to give my money for a minute.
36:08Sir, I'll give the money for you.
36:09I'm the middle of it.
36:10He's going to get away, I'm the middle of it.
36:11Now he's about to leave a man in the game.
36:13I hope you'd save the game for the game.
36:14Why don't you do that?
36:15Not bad.
36:16I'd have to do that.
36:17Michael!
36:18David!
36:19David!
36:20David!
36:21David!
36:22Where have you been?
36:24Er, Manor's, Will.
36:25Been helping Lauren with Frankie so she could work.
36:26Daniel's already gone, he said to say Terraro and that.
36:29They're not ideal.
36:30I have to be careful.
36:31You're gonna give the game away at this rate and the state of him. You know, he had his hands all over my woman
36:38You drunk, what's he gonna be like on your little weekend away?
36:43Do you know what I can't be doing with you when you're like this
36:55I'm sorry, what is that? It's a stimulator your own mother has got you it's a Vegas
37:01Stimulator tape it's not in front of Lily. No, no, it's totally sleep. Shut up. No, that's what it is
37:07It's an actual sleep aid. Well, granny girls texted. She said she sent us all a video. Oh get it up
37:12Get it up on sablick one. She'll be no way for Andy's hair and uncle. Well, she's put it on plot chart on it
37:16You can see it on there. Oh, I can't believe she's in a video. It's me. I
37:23Speak to you today on what is of course
37:26Our first wedding anniversary one of the longest marriages is
37:31Thank you David for my extra large jar of olives
37:38Very funny. I hope you've all been having the most wonderful day
37:44and of course
37:46David
37:48Happy birthday
37:49Happy birthday
37:50Happy birthday. How can it be 35 years since I first held you in my arms?
37:58I hope by now you've unwrapped your sleep aid
38:02I just wanted to say that though I may be far away
38:09You're all very much in my thoughts
38:13And David and Shona
38:17You and your baby are
38:21Upmost in my heart
38:24Life
38:26Is never easy
38:28Life is never straightforward
38:31But we're a strong
38:35Resilient
38:36Family
38:37And we can weather any storm
38:41I love you all
38:43Very much
38:45So till the next time we speak
38:50As the famous Carol says
38:53The hopes
38:58And fears
39:00Of all the years
39:03Are met in thee
39:06Tonight
39:07I wish you all
39:12A very happy Christmas
39:15Happy Christmas
39:18That was nice
39:20I just want to say thank you
39:29What for?
39:33I love you for
39:34And just being so
39:36Nice and patient today
39:39It's our first Christmas innit
39:42Want it to be special
39:45In that case thank you too
39:48For what?
39:50For being you
39:52Your authentic self
39:55Can't be easy
39:58You know with your
40:00Various issues
40:01I'm
40:04Unless you were being sarcastic
40:06I wasn't
40:08Stand up
40:11Are you sure you weren't being sarcastic?
40:15Yeah
40:15Are you sure?
40:22Are you sure?
40:27Merry Christmas daughter
40:29Isn't that
40:57Some Ujimaflip
40:58Maggie
40:59From the pub?
41:00Correct
41:00Introduce me
41:02I've never met her
41:03And you know
41:03If we pal up
41:04I'm thinking free drinks
41:05Hello
41:06Hello
41:07Oh I say
41:10What a beautiful coat
41:11I love that colour
41:12Merry Christmas Maggie
41:14I don't know if you
41:16Met my dear friend
41:18Evelyn Plummer
41:19Merry Christmas to you
41:21And may 2026
41:22And may 2026
41:23Bring you everything
41:24You wish yourself
41:24And more
41:25Are you off travelling?
41:29Are you alright Maggie?
41:31No
41:31Any idiot can see
41:32She's not alright
41:33She's in pieces
41:34Oh
41:34Let's just say
41:36I've fallen out with Ben
41:38Oh dear
41:40Who's Ben?
41:42My son
41:42Well
41:44Maybe it's just bad karma
41:46You know
41:47Because you shut the pub
41:48On Christmas Day
41:49We were having a family meal
41:52But
41:52Everything went awry
41:55Well if there's anything
41:57I could do
41:59Do you know any decent hotels
42:01Around here?
42:04Well I could drive you
42:05Over to Chariot Square
42:06If you like
42:08Good thinking Batman
42:09And
42:11Could you call ahead
42:13When we're en route?
42:14My phone is running
42:15Out of juice
42:16Just tell them
42:17One night
42:18One person
42:19With breakfast
42:20And try and get
42:21A free upgrade
42:22To a suite
42:23Erm
42:26I'm rather sorry
42:28We came over
42:28In the test place
42:30And
42:35Relax
42:36My lady
42:43Quite good sir
42:46I'm sorry
42:50Isn't that my line?
42:53I should have been there for you
42:54We got there eventually
42:57Didn't we?
42:59I'll never let you down again
Be the first to comment