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00:00Hello and welcome to the two Johnny's late night lock-in
00:25Now this is Johnny B a very funny man an excellent musician a groundbreaking podcast a fabulous
00:36presenter the body of a Greek god but most of all he's my best friend
00:40And that smacks
00:44Tonight we have Ireland's most famous chaser since Shergar
00:49That's right
00:50He's from the chase
00:52It's Dara the Menace
00:53Yes
00:59And you are the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one
01:03Oh full of bus
01:04No no I drove
01:05From the How to Gail podcast it's Dara Neat Lock-On Louise Clandilane and Sivani Roar
01:15And performance stand-up tonight let me give you a clue right
01:19Ok
01:20Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock
01:21Who's there Chris Chris who Chris Kent
01:23And we have music from Fermanagh's finest fiddler it's Sean McGay
01:37Now are you ready to meet our first guest?
01:43Well to find out who our first guest is let's cross live to Seamus the Sheep
01:51He shied away there lads who's he gonna go for is it Christian Bale at Chippendale or how to Gwail who is he gonna go for
01:57He's he's took a shine to the Chippendale but it is of course Dyrne Neat Lock-On Louise Cantil and Sivani
02:03And Shibani
02:05And Shibani
02:13I'm so excited.
02:15I'm so excited.
02:17I'm so excited.
02:19I'm so excited.
02:21I'm so excited.
02:23I'm so excited.
02:25I'm so excited.
02:27Shavings, shavings, shavings.
02:29I was going to do very well.
02:31You've got Pointe Guinness ready and all.
02:33Scrooge back there.
02:35Jess you're naked did her to a chance for you.
02:37Scrooge back a bit there will ya.
02:39Sorry once I saw Pointe Guinness I was...
02:41She's like a cat to the cream.
02:43Welcome, how are you?
02:45On a Walgermaga.
02:47You have lipstick on your cheek.
02:51It's Mike.
02:53Girls, for anyone who hasn't listened to the pod, can you tell us about it?
02:57Yes, so if you haven't listened to How to Gael,
02:59first of all, how dare you.
03:01Second of all, we are the biggest bilingual podcast
03:03in Erin Bader. In the world.
03:05In the world, let's say it in the world.
03:07Well Irish, Irish native bilingual podcasts in the world, right?
03:09So we are, it's Kurdishin, we are friends
03:11and we kind of speak to each other.
03:13As well, that's how you get in the podcast.
03:15Very nice, very nice.
03:17So like, the podcast is absolutely flying,
03:19how did it come about?
03:21Do you know what, we're like any group of millennial friends,
03:23we were out one night on the chair,
03:25as we do really well, to be fair.
03:27I'm the cutie, in the middle of the dubs here,
03:29and to be fair, like Han reports
03:31that they do have as much of a good time
03:33on night out in Loughlia, as we do down the country.
03:35So we're all out in the margaritas.
03:37Where is the cheers for the cut?
03:39Give us an applause!
03:41We don't like to think we're better at crap.
03:43Anyway, we were having a few spicy margaritas
03:45and we thought, what does the world need?
03:47Another podcast.
03:49That's exactly how our start is.
03:51We were having a chat and we were like,
03:52what is this conversation missing?
03:53A microphone, you know?
03:55But there's definitely, I feel, a resurgence.
03:57Is there a bit of a movement at the moment?
03:58Well, do you know, Johnny, they tell me
03:59the sexiest thing you can be now as a Gaelicore.
04:03And our stump has risen no end because of it.
04:07But, do you know, I think it's important to say, like,
04:09we'd be speaking Irish to each other anyway,
04:11regardless of the podcast or no podcast,
04:12and sometimes it can be a little bit fetishised.
04:14Like, we were down in Other Voices there last year
04:16and someone couldn't believe that we were having a point
04:18with each other as Gaelicore.
04:19And not only that,
04:20that somebody was sending a voice note as Gaelicore.
04:22Shocking stuff.
04:23Shocking.
04:24So, anyway, if you want a voice note from us now,
04:26like, subscribe and all the rest of it.
04:29And we sell them on Patreon.
04:30Yeah, yeah.
04:31I think, yeah, there's definitely something.
04:33When I was growing up, I was brought up in Dublin,
04:36but Irish would have been spoken at home.
04:38And, like, some of my earliest memories
04:41is, like, the intense shame that went with that,
04:43especially in Dublin in the 90s.
04:44Really?
04:45Oh, my God.
04:46You were a fucking weirdo.
04:47And that took me a really long time to shake that.
04:50Especially, like, because my family are from the Gaelicore,
04:52and it's a certain type of Irish that's spoken,
04:54as opposed to Dublin Irish, maybe.
04:56Yeah, like, most of my childhood was being,
04:59carrying a lot of shame about that.
05:00Your others.
05:01Yeah, totally.
05:02And, yeah, and that's a hangover from colonialism, you know?
05:05We don't have to get into that one.
05:08I'll give you one point to you.
05:11Your audience, like, for the pod is huge.
05:13You show all those shows from here all across the world.
05:15It's mad, isn't it?
05:16The Americans are mad for a bit of Gaelicore.
05:18They are.
05:19They are.
05:20So, who's at the gig in America?
05:21Like, are they people who can speak Irish or who are Irish-American?
05:23Actually, our biggest fan is from New York.
05:25Oh, yeah.
05:26I swear to God, and has no Gaelicore.
05:27His name is Jason.
05:28He does have Gaelicore.
05:29Well, he does have Gaelicore.
05:30Well, he does have Gaelicore in it, yeah.
05:31But he's from, he's from New York.
05:32Yeah, Jason.
05:33From the Upper East Side.
05:34He's a nurse.
05:35If you don't mind, Tamarico.
05:36Yeah, on Instagram.
05:37On Instagram.
05:38He came to our gig in New York, wait to hear this right,
05:39and he brought us all a little gift, okay?
05:41Okay.
05:42So, he, now, super fan, wasn't he?
05:44He brought the girl, so he brought Shiva a lovely photo of her from, like,
05:47It was a magazine.
05:48VIP magazine photo.
05:49For me to sign, right?
05:50She knew it.
05:51Like, stood gorgeous for her to sign.
05:52Brought Darren, a novel, the Peg Sayers book.
05:55The Peg Sayers.
05:56Right.
05:57Very fitting.
05:58And then I was, like, queuing up, waiting for it,
06:00and I was, like, oh my god, what's it gonna be?
06:01A fucking picture of Declan Hannan.
06:04Your husband.
06:05Your husband.
06:06Yeah, no fair, but, like, I was, like, seriously, Jason?
06:08You know, but we still love you, Jason.
06:10And he is on fan-us-mode.
06:11So, the tour, does it all go smooth?
06:18Do you all get along on the road?
06:20Oh!
06:21It's sex, joke, jigs and reels.
06:23That's how they had to go.
06:24Irish rock and roll.
06:25Lots of leanish and reels.
06:26Yeah, what is it?
06:27The Mary Walloper's new song, you know, Roz and the Bow,
06:30This is Irish rock and roll.
06:31Which, as you can imagine, I took a nice ride.
06:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:34It was smooth for the most part, but we had a bit of a luggage issue.
06:36Yeah.
06:37We did have a luggage issue.
06:38There was a mala that went astray.
06:40And someone ended up in someone else's knickers for the week.
06:42Whoa, whoa!
06:43Whoa, this is a superfan.
06:45He wishes, Johnny, he wishes.
06:48Jason was only with us for one night.
06:51Yeah.
06:52But he made most of it.
06:54There's no knickers if I'm joking.
06:56Okay, okay.
06:57No.
06:58No.
06:59No, look, okay.
07:00My love is red missing.
07:01There was a lot of shows going on.
07:03Myself and Lisa are the same size for a patron.
07:05She's a great old pal.
07:06And yes, we did share the knickers for the week.
07:07She has to be slated as well, my choice of knickers, by the way.
07:10Because apparently seamless and high-rise isn't in anyway.
07:13No, no.
07:14Too many details, Chris.
07:15Too many details.
07:16One to skip a few of this story, right?
07:20Is that I'd lend you a few knickers, right?
07:22As a good friend would do when your case goes missing.
07:24They don't sell them in New York.
07:25I know.
07:26They don't sell them in New York.
07:27I know.
07:28I know.
07:29I'm excited.
07:30We were busy in the pub.
07:32We were busy in the pub.
07:33Johnny, where do we get to the shops?
07:34Right.
07:35Anyway, we're leaving Boston to get a train to New York.
07:37And I'm like looking at Deirne.
07:38We've had a late night night before.
07:40And she's like clibbity clobbing down to the train with all these bags of new clothes she's bought.
07:45And I was like, what is on her hair?
07:47Like her hair was up in a bun, okay?
07:49She had a pair of my knickers tied up, holding her hair up in a bun.
07:53And I was like, we can't rock into New York.
07:55Like for our big New York show.
07:57And you've got like, you're wearing my knickers.
07:59The big apple with the big knickers.
08:01They're the ambassadors for the language.
08:04We are, yeah, yeah.
08:05Can I ask, just out of interest, a show of hands here in the pub.
08:07Who here could say that they're fluent in Irish?
08:10Okay, but I have another question.
08:12Lava seuss if you have a bit of a graf for the Gaeilge.
08:15Okay, and can I just say that the majority of that sentence was E Gaeilge.
08:20So you mightn't think you're Leafa, but you have way more than you think of.
08:22All right.
08:23So let's get your act together and tune in to the Gaeilge podcast to learn a bit more.
08:28Okay.
08:29Now, as well as speaking the language, Dyrn, you are a fantastic traditional Irish musician
08:35and singer.
08:36There you go.
08:37Would you sing a song for us?
08:38Oh, would you?
08:39Would you like to hear Dyrn sing a song?
08:41What do you want to sing for us?
08:42I'll sing a song.
08:43What'll I sing?
08:44I'll sing a song about a lovely woman from Dublin.
08:46Life imitates art, you know.
08:47Okay, but you'll have to give me a hand with this maybe.
08:48You might know the chorus.
08:49Right.
08:50As I roved out in Dublin city at the hour of twelve at night.
08:51Who should I meet but a pretty fair maiden?
08:52Washing her her clothes by the broad moonlight.
08:53Madame I'm a darling a darrow did the row.
08:58Madame I'm a darling a dire-o-day.
09:03First she washed and then she squeezed them, then she hung them out to dry.
09:17Then she folded up her arms saying what a fine young girl am I.
09:22Madam I'm a darlin' a diro didder-o
09:25Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro day
09:28Have you ever heard of cups and saucers
09:30Rattlin' around in an owl tin can
09:32Have you ever heard of a pretty fair maiden
09:34Rarney to a grey owl ugly man
09:36Madam I'm a darlin' a diro didder-o
09:39Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro day
09:42Oh blue it is a lovely colour
09:44Till it gets the second dip
09:46That's the way with the owl lads courting
09:49You'll never know when he'll take a fit
09:51Madam I'm a darlin' a diro didder-o
09:54Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro day
09:56Oh madam I have gold and silver
09:58Madam I have tracts of land
10:01Madam I have ships in the ocean
10:03All I'm missing is a fine young man
10:05Madam I'm a darlin' a diro didder-o
10:08Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro day
10:10Oh going to the well for water
10:13Washing it around for to make some tay
10:15He fell over, I fell under
10:17All of the game was above the nay
10:19Madam I'm a darlin' a diro didder-o
10:22Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro day
10:24Oh madam you can tie my garter
10:27Tie it up above my knee
10:29If you want you can tie it further
10:31Madam I'm a darlin' a diro did-o
10:33Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro did-o
10:36Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro did-o
10:38Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro did-o
10:39Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro did-o
10:40Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro did-o
10:41Oh madam I'm a darlin' a diro did-o
10:42Oh
11:05Chris star you gonna play with us
11:07Yeah
11:09Here we go the rain the rain has come can we ask the man in the white jumper here?
11:14Hello, sir with the great side locks
11:20You're live on television with the two Johnny's don't say anything but nod your head if you're up for playing a game
11:26Yes
11:28I feel like he could be like Sligo or that's a dub
11:31I think
11:45This man has amazing side locks. He does give a bit of Sligo vibes
11:49Except for the new
11:51The shmigin
11:53The London strip on his chin there
11:55What about the slits in the eyebrow?
11:57That's giving me Dublin vibes
11:59Alright Chris Kent what do you reckon?
12:01I think he's a dub appropriate
12:03McCullochie kind of
12:05Audience what do you reckon dub or Cullochie?
12:07No
12:09You sir, what's your name and where are you from?
12:11I'm James, I'm from Dublin
12:13Yay!
12:17Okay, let's spin that camera around
12:19We've got time for one more, let's do one more
12:21Thank you James
12:23Send me bae
12:25Who else have we got?
12:27The leper prince, cat slayer, let's go
12:29Oh no
12:31How are you?
12:33You're live on the telly with the two Johnnies
12:35Don't say anything, just nod your head if you want to play
12:37Yes
12:39Okay lads, what are we thinking?
12:41That could be mink
12:43That's a dub
12:45That's a dub
12:47I just feel
12:49She's not a dub
12:51Could be a leopard
12:53It's a flick as well, it's her eyeliner flick
12:55It's very accurate
12:57I'm going for facial
12:59Well, there's a lot of things I want to say but I can't
13:03Alright
13:05No, I think that that is Cullochie with class
13:09A really rare beast
13:11A lot of Cullochies with class over here
13:13Okay lads, let's find out what's your name and where are you from
13:17My name is Justine and I'm from Dublin
13:19Yay!
13:21Lads, put your hands together for everybody out on the streets of Dublin
13:23Thank you so much
13:27We'll see you after the break, don't go anywhere
13:29Because every time we crash
13:31I get this feeling
13:33And every time we kiss
13:35I swear I can fly
13:37Can't you feel my heartbeat past
13:39I want you to last
13:41Need you by my side
13:43Today's over thinking
13:45Would I find a better plan
13:47Would I find a mess
13:49And I'll die
13:51It's just the way I am
13:55Oh
13:57It's just the way I am
13:59Come back, come back
14:01Oh
14:03Hey welcome back
14:05Welcome back
14:07Now
14:09It's time for some cracking stand up lads
14:11If there wasn't all Ireland for comedy
14:13This man would win it for Cork
14:15Put your hands together, go crazy
14:17Chris Kent
14:19Thank you very much, it's great to be here
14:31Thank you very much it's great to be here I have two kids which is about 12,000
14:46photographs on my phone by the way that's what two kids is these days and
14:49according to my wife I do not take enough photographs of the children I have
14:5412,000 of them I've heard evidence she said you still don't take enough I'm
14:57like let me introduce you to my mother there's about seven photographs of babies
15:04around the house and she doesn't even know who's who all right I'll straight up
15:10ask her like who's this is this me or my brother I don't know that's a child in a
15:15St Christopher that could be anybody that might not be you are your brother I'm
15:20like all right yeah this could be the child that came in the frame for all we
15:22know you know it's great a different time those different times isn't it like
15:28where we're so different now like well when I was a kid like my mom and dad used
15:32to come home from the pub and wake me and my brother up to eat chips you know it
15:37wasn't a choice you had to go eat the chips they'd come in from the pub come on
15:42down and have chips mean the brother be there at the table going I'd be looking at
15:47him bunch you swear up for school in four hours you know my mother leaning and go I'm
15:53up for working two hours shut up about it sing a song what is going on then my dad
15:58would go off singing a song into a batter sausage you know me my brother at the
16:03same table a couple of hours later wondering how we can't get through a
16:06bowl of cornflakes you know you learn a lot when you become a dad the
16:10breastfeeding and all that I remember the very first time ever experiencing it I
16:14was there my wife she was trying to feed the baby wasn't really working I
16:17didn't realize I thought it just would work all the time you know and God
16:20bless the nurses and nurse came into the room and grabbed my wife's breast and my
16:25son's head with the elegance of a builder you know like picking an extension lead
16:31out of a puddle I'll get it to work don't worry and now I kind of thrive on the
16:36awkwardness you know I love it like my wife's dad was coming to visit when we had
16:41the baby and I could see by the walk on the man when he walked into the living room
16:46that he was going to go for a kiss with the baby and I also knew his daughter was
16:51feeding the baby
16:54so I could have stopped him but I was bored out of my mind you know I said ah this will be good and fair play to him he must have known when he got to there but he kept going all the way down
17:09it was so awkward and then he tried to make a joke about it which is something I
17:13wouldn't recommend to be quite honest with you because the joke he went for that
17:16evening right was leave some for me you greedy little shit
17:20we haven't seen him since you know he doesn't I did the impossible last year as well I bought a house in the house in crisis thank you very much four years of dealing with estate agents I swear to God if I never see one again they are and we weren't being fussy by the way we weren't being picky we were looking for a house for four years I'll give you an example of the type of houses we were looking at I went to see a house one
17:25day and the estate agent's opening line was be careful
17:29that's the level of the house in the house is a very firm since you know he doesn't you know
17:32he doesn't I did the impossible last year as well I bought a house in the house in crisis
17:36thank you very much four years of dealing with estate agents I swear to god if I never see one again
17:41they are and we weren't being fussy by the way we weren't being picky we were looking for a house for four years I'll give you an example of the type of houses we were looking at I went to see a house one day and the estate agent's opening line was be careful
17:54That's the level of houses I was going to look at she couldn't say hello
17:58She had to give me a warning straight away be careful
18:01She said there's a big huge hole upstairs and your children might fall down
18:04I said thanks very much for warning me there. I went upstairs
18:07She wasn't lying biggest hole I've ever seen in the bathroom and I was so desperate at that point
18:11I was actually sucking up to her
18:13I was looking down at her in the kitchen and I was kind of saying I actually like the hole
18:16You know I was like
18:17That's actually handy now in the bathroom brush my teeth in the morning. I can hop straight down the hole
18:22No need to go all the way out to the stairs there, you know
18:25And I said to this estate agent is there anything else I should know about this house by the way
18:29And she said to me there's a subsidence issue. No, I didn't know what that meant
18:33So I said sorry. I don't know what you mean and I swear to god. She said it's sinking. Is that all right?
18:42I was like it depends how fast I suppose you know
18:45Am I coming back to see a bungalow next week like what are you talking about?
18:48Do you want to hear the saddest part of that story lads?
18:52We were outbid on that house, right?
18:56Honest to god and your kids pick it all up. My little boy was only five at that stage, you know
19:00You're looking at houses every single night
19:01We were leaving one of the one of the viewings and he was only five and he said to us
19:05Ma'am and dad you can have all of my money too
19:09And I was just like where is it? Where is it?
19:12I shook his little sister in the buggy. I was like what are you bringing to the table?
19:16My wife is like she doesn't even talk yet. I'm like check our pockets. I don't care, you know
19:21They're just mad then like the estate agents they would drive you crazy though
19:25They would drive you absolutely crazy. I went to see another place
19:27They said you're the first person to see this house now
19:29You're a first down and giving you the first look at it
19:30We walked in the door the same estate agents getting off the phone and he says I'm really sorry to tell you now lads there's been an offer
19:36That was quick
19:40He says 40 over asking and you're getting desperate at that stage
19:43They're just pulling numbers of 40 over asking I said look we'll make an offer as well straight away
19:47We'll go 50 over asking and he said are you sure and I said oh 100% I took 50 euros out of my wallet straight away, you know
19:5540 grand over asking that's mental isn't it and I said I thought we're the first people to see the house and he said yeah
20:01I wouldn't lie to you that guy on the phone to me he hasn't seen the house
20:04He hasn't seen I wouldn't buy a banana. I haven't seen you know
20:09That's why I don't get my shopping delivered. He hasn't seen the house
20:12Then he tried to paint him as the bad guy. He was like I wouldn't mind nobody's buying all the houses around here
20:17I'm like stop selling them to him
20:20That doesn't happen with anything else does it does it happen with anything else in life?
20:24I don't know if you've ever gone into a restaurant or something and you're like
20:27Could I get the lasagna there, please and the waitress is like I'm so sorry
20:31You're a man over there
20:35Is after buying all the lasagna so
20:39I'll have a chicken curry instead. There's been an offer, you know
20:43Thank you very much for having me. My name is Chris Kent. I'll see you again. Thank you very much
20:47Thank you
20:55Give it up one more time for Chris Kent
21:01And don't forget you can check out Chris Kent's offline tour at Chris Kent comedy.com lads
21:06Okay, John now are you ready for the greatest quiz of all time?
21:10It's the parish quiz
21:12That's right lads
21:16So every week we have two people on and we test their local knowledge
21:19They represent their parish in the parish quiz
21:21And our first parish is Munter Connacht in County Cavan and representing them is Amy O'Dowd
21:26Amy how are you?
21:27Not so bad in yourselves lads
21:28Welcome to the madhouse
21:29Cheers thanks very much
21:30How are you feeling? Are you feeling confident?
21:32Confident enough. I tried to do a bit of research-ish
21:38Not too much. I went to the local last weekend and I was like trying to kind of picture everything around it
21:43But yeah, that's about the research I've done
21:45Do you go to the local now for the old gossip?
21:47For the gossip, for the gossip
21:48That's where I'd go
21:49What's the latest around Munter Connacht?
21:50The latest around Munter Connacht is that we are in a semi-final for the championship
21:54Oh
21:55Oh, so kind of exciting
21:57Not senior, junior
21:58But we're still there
21:59We're still there
22:00I was hoping for gossip like oh Mary's riding the gardener again
22:03Well, we can't be saying that on TV now
22:06We'll get the real gossip afterwards
22:07In a while
22:08So what do you do for a living yourself Amy?
22:10I sell tools
22:11Believe it or not
22:13You're in good company
22:14Any tools you want
22:15Give it up for Amy and Munter Connacht
22:20Our second parish from the county of Galway and Clifton
22:23It's Damien Manning
22:24Who are you Damien?
22:25Not the bad eyes yourself
22:26Great, what's the crack in Clifton?
22:28Ah, not much now
22:29Summer's over but sure lookit
22:30It's always the dirty winter coming
22:32So it'll be a good crack
22:34Alright, okay
22:39There's tools for that
22:42So what are you up to yourself?
22:44I'm in college in the minute in Galway City
22:46But on the weekends I'll be working in the pub in Clifton
22:49So a bit of crack
22:50It's handy enough
22:52Because you get the American tourists coming in
22:54And sure
22:55You tell them
22:56Oh my grandfather built the castle
22:57Whatever the fucking church
22:58Sorry
23:02And they tip you like mad
23:03And sure
23:04With the tips then
23:05With freshers being this week
23:06All summer
23:07It was handy to keep the cash in the pocket
23:10And with the goal of spending it on freshers
23:12Not spending my wages
23:13But sure lookit
23:14Saturday evening would come round
23:16And it would be
23:17Start fresh again on the Monday morning
23:18So that was the main part of it
23:21Okay, so where do you work in Clifton?
23:23Lowry's Bar
23:24You might know about yourself
23:25I was there with you?
23:26You were indeed
23:27I was actually working in EJ King's at the time
23:29Right, I was thinking I didn't meet you did I?
23:30No
23:31But we had the late night lock-in in
23:32The first season
23:33On the TV in EJ's
23:34And you were only around the corner in Lowry's
23:36I text your man behind the bar
23:37Damien Ryan
23:38I said
23:39Send him our way
23:40ASAP
23:41Now, do you remember being in Lowry's?
23:43I do, yeah, of course
23:44Just
23:45We have a photo of you
23:46You photo?
23:47On order
23:48Do you want to see it?
23:49No
23:50That's okay
23:53Just thank God
23:54I don't want to come back
23:55Give it up for Damien and Clifton
24:00Okay
24:01It's time to play the parish quiz
24:02We are kicking off with Munter Connacht
24:03Here is your question
24:06Oh
24:08How ya lads
24:09This is Noel McEnroe here from Munter Connacht Heritage
24:12And the Brefty High Nelly Club
24:14I've got a question for you
24:16And my good friend here Liam O'Reilly is going to ask it
24:20What is my nickname?
24:23Now
24:24What is Liam O'Reilly's nickname?
24:27I would have
24:28I literally saw it there and I was like
24:29Liamy
24:30Liamy is his name
24:31You walk in you were like
24:32Well Liamy
24:33Liamy is his name
24:34Liamy is his name
24:35It's not Liam
24:36It's Liamy
24:37Liamy is his name
24:38Let's find out if it's his nickname as well
24:40The answer is
24:42Muscles
24:46But it's Liamy
24:48Have you ever heard him being called Muscles?
24:49Never
24:50Do you know him?
24:51I do know Liamy yes
24:54Damien are you ready for your question about Clifton?
24:56I am indeed
24:57Right here we go
25:04Hello Damien
25:05Father Ronan here
25:06I am in St Joseph's Church in Clifton
25:09Do you know
25:10What colour is the wall at the back of the main altar?
25:14What colour is the wall behind the altar?
25:24In your local church?
25:25You look puzzled then
25:26Can you give me a second?
25:31Always
25:32Always
25:34We are going to have to push you
25:36I want to say it's gold
25:39Gold
25:40Or is that the main thing in the middle of it?
25:46Final answer
25:47I go gold
25:48Okay
25:49Well let's cross back to Father Ronan and find out
25:52And the answer is
25:57Yellow
26:00I am here to my ear
26:01We are giving him that one
26:02We are giving him that one
26:03We are giving him that one
26:04Cheers
26:05Cheers
26:10Cheers
26:12Cheers
26:13Cheers
26:14Cheers
26:15Right
26:16Munter Connacht
26:17We are back to you
26:18Let's have your next question
26:24Well Amy
26:25Conor here
26:26I am with the two Fergals
26:27You are with the two Johnnies
26:28Munter Connacht last won the Junior Championship in 1976 against Banya
26:32Our question for you today is
26:35Whose cows are those?
26:39Whose cows are they out the back of the GA field?
26:41Right
26:42It is
26:43Owen Brodie's cows
26:44Owen Brodie's cows
26:45Owen Brodie's cows
26:46Yes
26:47Right well let's find out if you are right
26:49And the answer is
26:50The Brodie's
26:55Lovely
26:57Right Damien you ready?
26:58I am
26:59Let's go to Clifton for your next question
27:00I know that place
27:07Hello Damien
27:08My name is Damien here
27:09Manager Larry's Bar
27:10And I have a question for you
27:15What world record did I attempt in 2023?
27:19Okay what world record did he attempt?
27:21The most pubs
27:22The most pubs
27:23I think it was the most pubs visited
27:24And I had to drink a pint in each pub in 24 hours
27:28Right
27:29How did he do?
27:31I bet
27:32Okay well let's go back to your boss where you work
27:34To find out if you are right
27:36Now guys the answer to that question was
27:39The Guinness World Book of Records
27:40The Guinness World Book of Records
27:41Was the most pubs visited in 24 hours
27:43And I managed to do 85
27:46Hey!
27:47What did he bring in?
27:48What did he bring in?
27:49What did he bring in?
27:50Right Montalconnock here we go
27:51Here's your next question
27:53I'm Eugene O'Dwyer and I'm the owner of
28:01The funeral home
28:02The shop
28:03The pub
28:05The AstroTurf
28:07And the auctioneers
28:08People often ask me what my occupation is
28:10And I have to tell them
28:12Buy you out
28:13Sell you out
28:14And what?
28:16Right so there you go
28:17That's just Eugene the John Dutton
28:19Of Montalconnock
28:21He seems to own everything
28:22Local tycoon
28:23He owns a lot
28:24So he's an auctioneer
28:25But he also is a funeral director
28:27So he will lay you out
28:28He'll lay you out
28:29He'll buy you out
28:30Sell you out
28:31And lay you out
28:32Let's find out if you are right
28:36The answer is
28:37Lay you out
28:43Alright
28:44Timmy are you ready?
28:45I am indeed
28:46Here we go
28:47Let's back to Clifton for the next question
28:51Hello Damien's son
28:52I'm here your father
28:53In my salon head
28:55You may recognise this character behind me
28:58He's very famous in Clifton
29:00In the whole parish
29:01Everybody knows him
29:02He's famous for his dancing
29:04So my question to you today Damien is
29:07Whose feet are these?
29:12A lot to unpack there
29:13A good bit
29:14A good bit
29:15That's your father?
29:16That is my father yes
29:17And is there somebody always dancing around the place?
29:20In Clifton
29:21I wouldn't say in the salon itself
29:22But
29:23In Clifton there would be
29:24Right
29:25It would be
29:26And he'd be between
29:27Ravi's, EJ's
29:28And Lowry's
29:29Three pubes he mainly goes through
29:30And his name is John Dunne
29:32Okay
29:33Well let's go back to your father
29:34And find out if you're right
29:36Don't do me wrong
29:37And the answer is
29:38John Dunne
29:40Yes he is
29:41Yes he is
29:43Which means
29:44Are all your questions right?
29:46Clifton are tonight's winners?
29:53Congratulations Damien
29:54Congratulations
29:55It's good to see
29:56Good sport lads
29:57Now the prizes
29:58Right
29:59In one of these envelopes
30:01Is
30:02An all expenses paid trip
30:03To Vegas
30:04Oh
30:05And
30:07In the other envelope
30:08Is a free haircut
30:10From your dad
30:13So which envelope
30:14Is it going to be Damien?
30:15Think about it
30:17Pick carefully
30:18Take the haircut
30:21Somebody said take the haircut
30:22I
30:23I don't even go to him to get my haircut
30:24Right
30:27I'll take this one
30:28Right
30:29Okay Damien open it up
30:30Let us know what have you won
30:31Oh
30:35A free haircut
30:40Class
30:42They trip to Vegas
30:43So rise another week
30:44There you go
30:45Lads give it up for your winner
30:46The parish quiz
30:51Now
30:52Still to come
30:53Music from this man behind us
30:54Here Sean McGee
30:55Loads more crack as well
30:56Don't go anywhere
30:57You got a $10 bill
30:58Get your hands off
30:59You got a $10 bill
31:00Get your hands off
31:01You got a $20 bill
31:02Get your hands off
31:03You got a $10 bill
31:04Get your hands off
31:06A single lady
31:07I can't hear y'all
31:08Singles
31:09I go raring
31:10And tearing
31:11And fighting
31:12For love
31:14For the land
31:15The called Kella
31:16And the lord
31:17Up above
31:18Kella
31:19La la la la la la la la
31:22For the green
31:24And the white
31:25I adore
31:26For the parish the last ever o'er
31:31Are you all right? Well done, I'm sure it's all right!
31:36Welcome back to the Two Johnnies Late Night Lock-In!
31:41It's time to find out who's in the bar?
31:44We are!
31:46Who's in the bar?
31:47We are!
31:49Right, has anyone got a hidden talent they want to show us?
31:53I've got talent!
31:54Well there's one lad down the back who seems very confident, can we try it?
31:59I want to see what he's made of!
32:01Who put their hand up here?
32:03Me!
32:03Okay, what's the crackhead, what's your name, where are you from?
32:06My name's Lorcan and I'm from Maclone.
32:08Anyone here from Westmeet?
32:09Who?
32:11Yup, Westmeet.
32:12Yup, I'm Roscommon's side now.
32:14Oh, sorry if I've offended you.
32:17No, no, not at all.
32:18Okay, well, what is your hidden talent?
32:20Well, I can put my ears inside my ears.
32:23Oh!
32:24Hello!
32:25Ah, right, well, how did you discover you could do this?
32:30I think when I was younger I just got sick of listening to people.
32:33Right, this has ever come in useful?
32:37Ah, yeah, it's actually got me a job interview in Centre Parcs.
32:40What was the job?
32:43Um, a Christmas elf.
32:46Okay, I'm going to have to see it, do you want to see it?
32:48Yeah!
32:49Okay Lorcan, we're on time.
32:50Okay, I'll have to get ready.
32:51I'll do.
32:52So, first off, I'll put one ear in first, and then another one.
32:59But this is where the real trick happens.
33:03That's amazing!
33:09Can anyone else do that?
33:12No?
33:13No?
33:14It's kind of one of a kind.
33:18Does it have to be your fingers?
33:22Can you do it if I click my fingers?
33:23Yeah.
33:24Give it a go.
33:25Okay.
33:26Right.
33:27Ready?
33:28All right, we'd better move on.
33:35All right, back to you, Johnny Smacks.
33:36Here we go.
33:37Thank you very much, Johnny.
33:38Be right.
33:39Who else has got hidden talent, lads?
33:40Who else has got...
33:41Get him up in the air.
33:42Get him up.
33:43Okay, right.
33:44Come on, Stuart.
33:45Let's go.
33:46We're heading over here.
33:47Come on.
33:48Clear the way, lads.
33:49You get a slap of the camera.
33:50How are you?
33:51What's your name?
33:52Where are you from?
33:53I'm from Longford and my name is Catherine.
33:54Catherine from Longford.
33:55Okay.
33:56And what is your hidden talent, Catherine?
33:57Play the fiddle while doing the splits.
33:58Yeah.
33:59And have you brought the fiddle?
34:01Eh...
34:02Look, we'll grab a fiddle here.
34:03Sean McGee has a fiddle.
34:05There's the fiddle.
34:06Handy, handy.
34:07And strain the bow.
34:08Here we go, right?
34:09Okay.
34:10Are we ready, lads?
34:11Are we ready to see Catra's talent?
34:14Okay, the shoes are coming off, right?
34:15I'll mic up this.
34:16Here we go.
34:17Okay.
34:18Give it up for Catra!
34:19Woo-hoo!
34:20Woo-hoo!
34:21Woo-hoo!
34:22Woo-hoo!
34:23Woo-hoo!
34:24Oh, yes!
34:26Give it up for Catra!
34:27Woo-hoo!
34:28And the jeans!
34:29the most impressive thing is that was going in jeans I mean you should get
34:42some sort of brandy from the jeans I said can you play the fiddle without doing
34:45the splits oh no no and can you do the splits without the fiddle
34:51give it up for Catron do you know what this show never ceases to amaze me every
35:00week I'm amazed but are you ready to meet our next guest well let's cross live to
35:06Seamus the sheep who's it gonna be it is between Les Dennis a head of lettuce and
35:13Dara Ennis who is it gonna be lads he seems to be taking a big liking to lettuce
35:18what a great place to have a chat show
35:46yeah this studio stuff is all last year man this is way better that was so like 2019 yeah
35:52first of all I want to ask the chase like a massive show yeah how did you get your
35:57break on the chase I needed a door for my house I am seems very strange was true
36:02doors are really expensive I didn't realize and needed a back door moved into
36:07the new house the previous owner for their own reasons had taken the back door
36:10and I had no money there was no door at all it was a curtain right it was a bit cold in the kitchen
36:16and yeah doors cost a couple of grand they're expensive so I went on a quiz show to try and
36:21win some money so you went on the chase as a contestant yeah and you obviously it went
36:25well yeah you won you win a lot of money I know it was a bit controversial because
36:31the other people took a lower offer so I ended up winning enough for a door so right you know
36:36mission accomplished okay but not much else okay so how do you prepare to be a chaser how do you
36:41study um you do a lot of quizzes learn learn a lot of lists and figure out what you're bad at and
36:48pick it up study like in school I don't have very deep knowledge on any subject I know a tiny
36:53amount about a huge number of things okay so I don't go in depth in that because it doesn't come up in
36:57quizzes you know it's only it's the soaps it's the major actors major families that kind of stuff
37:01you don't need to go into all of it how do you retain the information then I'm really really good
37:06at that you know why people are good at you know dancing singing playing football rubbish at all of
37:11them right when I was playing football my dad watched me play once and he said if they were
37:14shooting footballers he'd live forever and he was a properly good football player right terrible
37:21at everything terrible everything but I can remember stuff and now I do it for a living it's great
37:25it works a treat and you're known as the menace on the show did you did you pick the nickname no
37:30no idea what it was none whatsoever so so when do you find out that you are Brad said it out loud
37:36on the show I was standing so we have little steps at the back to go up to the thing I was standing
37:40on there and he said oh it's our new chaser and as I was walking down he said the ennis the menace
37:44that was literally the first time I heard you're not getting ready like you know they all have
37:50nicknames oh yeah well they asked me did I want to be the professor but I was working in university at the
37:54time I thought that would be a bit cheeky I said not that they said do you mind what we call you I
37:58said I don't care and then your whole persona the outfit to have you in the bolo tie all that did
38:02you choose all this we have a photo of you here in your cowboy kind of ball look at that I'm
38:09intimidated yeah god that's attractive isn't it no I I didn't think I said I'd wear a chicken suit if
38:15they gave me the job I have to ask the guests are a whiz as well Chris Kent is whiz and the girls from
38:19the how to gail podcast Chris if you were a chaser what nickname you going for I'd say the bluff
38:23yeah because that would be a tactic yeah Chris the bluff kid you want to lure them in yeah 100% yeah
38:31Shiva what do you reckon? Sheville, New York. That's pretty good dear. I'm a traditional musician so it'd have to be the realer dealer
38:41oh wow we can get you all jobs Louise I'm really bad at quizzes so I'd be Louise two degrees and I would
38:48just spend the entire time trying to figure out how I know the people two degrees so with all the
38:54other chasers who were on the show yeah are you friends like would you go for a pint after a show
38:57with him not after a show people think we live in a big house together and then we all go on holidays
39:02together we get along we genuinely do and they're we're all mates but like we're workmates we just get
39:07on I imagine you'd be going out after it being like what's the capital of Peru you know oh you
39:11don't you don't understand when we're doing beat the chasers we go to Paul's in his dressing room
39:15and his husband Ollie who's a properly good quizzer as well asks us all we sit around asking each
39:19other quiz questions we genuinely we are that nerdy but class is a bit of a stretch
39:24I mean it'd be different if me and Johnny wrote the dressing room at the back someone asking his quiz
39:30questions it's not as entertaining so like are you competitive did you saw who's the worst say if they
39:35like be a sore loser to get one wrong the beast by miles really not even close like people think
39:40it's an act and it is a little bit he pantomime villains it he hates losing he gets really angry
39:45does a bit there's this guy that very unassuming you can see gentle character he's really like that in
39:50real life he does bang it up but on our console at the top the perspex has a crack in it from when
39:55he smashed it one time and it's proper tick perspex is he actually big like in real life he's six foot
40:00seven jeez and he's lost about 12 stones since that picture was taken and he's still huge wow he
40:06is a big big man yeah thank you make sure if we ever go on job we won't get in all that you must get
40:12recognized all the time all the time yeah it's big like the show is massive around the world in
40:16Australia New Zealand I'm going there next year apparently it's huge as well but walking down
40:20the street I was in the zoo in Ireland and it was nearly a queue of people there was more people
40:24watching me than the monkeys what do people say to you are you the guy off the chase
40:29questions they will they go what can I ask you a quiz question and then they can't think of one
40:44off it's always oh what's the capital of Germany or something really easy and just like yeah yeah
40:50what is the capital G G yeah when you're up there and people are playing against you
40:59people are playing against you say yeah and what if they like you read when you first went on oh my
41:05god I just got G German thanks Darren we won't be on the show anyway easy easy win for me if you are
41:19so like that what if you're playing against someone and they come on oh I really need the money like
41:24I have no shoes whatever and then you're saying well I'm not losing yeah of course I'm not so do you
41:29ever feel bad about winning the charity ones yeah but the regular punters they should just play better
41:34like seriously it's fact if you do well there's no chance of the chaser winning what were you doing
41:39before you were a chaser oh my real job when I worked for a living I worked as a scientist I was
41:43working in Oxford University and doing research very fancy yeah what kind of science stuff were you
41:49doing I was doing neuroscience so I was trying to figure out how brains work so we used weirdly fly
41:54brains you know the little fruit flies in your house the really annoying ones we used to dissect the
41:58brains out of them and I tell you in first thing in the morning if you've been out the night before that
42:03it's a tricky job we used to dissect the brains out of them and try and figure out how they worked
42:07to give us an idea of how human brains work and we hear you're mad into beekeeping is it yeah yeah
42:11bees yeah I've been doing it for years now I'm not any good at it but I like it it's a good crack
42:15um yeah did you ever get stung oh yeah all the time I actually my favorite time I got stung was
42:20before okay favorite time before I was keeping bees years ago I used to live in Canada and I was playing
42:27GAA which I never played in Ireland because I was rubbish but over there the standard's low and
42:31there's rolling subs much better system and I was running along in a match in Toronto and a bee went
42:36up my nose and stung me oh I know do you know how much sympathy they got from my team I dropped to
42:42the ground going oh yeah I'm just rolling on the ground holding my face going oh quick sub sub and
42:47they're all laughing otherwise yeah you get stung that's what happens in your beekeeper so you're
42:53going on tour with your new show yeah I'm doing a live quiz tour I'm doing it in England first and
42:57then I'm coming to Ireland in the spring putting yourself out let's are you going yeah there you go
43:03check out ultimatepubquiz.com lads for more info give it up for Dara Ennis everyone
43:06I think he's a dope yeah
43:36why because he is wearing air max and he's got a groomed beard and he looks like he's been
43:44to a hairdresser he looks like he's been to a hairdresser rather than a barber he's wearing his
43:49umbrella like a rifle because you just get wet yeah Chris what do you reckon I think he's a
43:55culture I just I do yeah he's been in Dublin a long time and I believe is a culture yeah okay
44:02what do you reckon I think he's a dog look at that battered leather jacket yeah I know the tote bag
44:07is that a red tote bag I'm I'm gonna say culture he's like a deer caught in headlights
44:10here
44:11oh wait sir what's your name and where are you from
44:17let's go in let's let's let's go in on someone what about this lad with the mullet here and the
44:32orange sitting down you're on the telly you're live with the two Johnnies nod your head if you want to
44:39play a game I'll tell you what he's grateful to parties what do we reckon oh he's got the arms folded now
44:48need to zoom in he's got that kind of you know that that iron jumper on underneath he's quite stylish
44:54yeah let me give me a look at the footwear situation oh he's a dark horse he's got the darragh I'm going
45:07close he just on the mullet just oh culture I think yeah jumper yeah that looks like a man who didn't have
45:13time for heat and that's right audience what do we reckon it's a strong culture what's your name and where
45:20are you from hi my name's smart I'm actually half breed I'm half bulgy half dog a bloody hybrid thank you
45:28Mark give it up for our guests for dara ennis for the how to gale girls and for chris kent
45:39and now to play us now put your hands together for the one lonely sean mcgee
45:43we're going to be a woman in our town the woman you all know well she dearly loved her husband and
45:50another man twice as well it'd be right finneganary oh we took finneganary oh we're tipping it up to
45:58nancy she'd take him to the camera shops from revenue he's the pie have you anything in your
46:04cap a shot to make my home and flight she's walked through the river she's walked through the brine
46:24oh martin dear martin don't leave me behind her
46:28it's a little bit of that you silly i feel you know me for martin's claim no we'll be right
46:44finneganary oh we took finneganary oh we're tipping it up to nancy oh martin dear johnny don't leave me
46:51oh
46:57there's thine in me family in the middle of the nancy
47:21i'm
47:27i
47:29i
47:34i
47:38i
47:40i
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