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00:00Ferocious fights, stingy castles, daring knights
00:02Horrors that did by description, cutthroat cults or bull ejection
00:05Vicious vikings, cruel crimes, punishment for later dives
00:07Roman rotten rag and rootless, cavemen savage, piers and tubeless
00:10Groovy Greeks, brainy sages, mean and miss with middle ages
00:13Gory stories, we do that
00:15And your host a talking rat
00:18The past is no longer a mystery
00:21Welcome to...
00:22Horrible Histories!
00:27Horrible Histories presents...
00:29Hair Raising Holidays
00:31Ah, who doesn't love going on their holly bobs by the sea?
00:36I adore a trip to the beach with my family
00:40And King George III was the same
00:43He especially loved holidaying in the British seaside town of Weymouth
00:47Although his family were slightly less keen on the trips
00:50Oh no, this happens every time
00:54My hair is not a nest!
00:57Family on tour!
00:58I'm so excited!
01:00Okay Dad, tell us where we are
01:04Oh well, we are in Dorset
01:06On a royal family holiday
01:08Going to the best town ever
01:09What could be better, girls, than going to...
01:11Weymouth?
01:12Er...
01:13Not going to Weymouth
01:15That would be better
01:16Weymouth is more dull and stupid than I can find words to express
01:19You're the king of father
01:20You're the king of father
01:21We could literally go anywhere
01:22I know
01:23Which is why we're doing a special surprise stop on the way
01:27It better not be a farm
01:29Oh, hello biggies
01:34Isn't it great?
01:36I love farms
01:38I can't believe you're my sister
01:40Oh, I've stepped in something
01:44Did you like a farm
01:45Did you like a farm?
01:46Now I'm bored
01:47Now I'm bored and I smell of cows
01:49Right
01:50Girls
01:51Let's do a bit of Weymouth shopping, shall we?
01:54Shop till we drop
01:55That'll cheer you up
01:56It's half past five in the morning, Daddy
01:58I know, that's why I had my favourite shop, Delamote
02:00Open specially
02:01Look at the shopkeeper
02:02Loves getting up at 5am
02:04This holiday is almost as bad as last year's
02:07In fact, it is as bad
02:09It's the same exact holiday again
02:11Although I guess last year's was a bit worse
02:13Because we had to go on a boat trip
02:15Boat trip?
02:17Quite bad
02:20I've got nothing less than me to throw up
02:25It's all the excitement of being on a boat
02:27Just loving it
02:29I think it's safe to say that was good
02:33I think it's safe to say that was a huge success
02:39Please, Father, we're so miserable
02:42Find
02:43I give up
02:44Never again
02:45Really, Father?
02:46Thank you
02:47Brush your teeth first
02:48Now we can find somewhere else to holiday finally
02:51No, I meant we'll never do the boat trip again
02:53We'll definitely come back to Weymouth
02:54Yay!
02:55Weymouth is cool
02:57Weymouth
02:58Hello, holidaymakers
03:02Queen Victoria here
03:04Queen of Great Britain and Ireland
03:06Empress of India
03:07And massive fan of going on hollybobs
03:10In addition to ruling and having lots of children
03:13I did like to be beside the seaside
03:15I was a particularly big fan of going wading in the sea
03:19My husband, Albert, even persuaded me that the salty water was good for my health
03:24But tell me, what special bit of equipment did I like to use when I went to the sea?
03:30Was it
03:31A. An extendable ramp so that I didn't have to stick on any pebbles
03:35B. A big shed on wheels
03:38Or C. An inflatable golden seahorse called Sebastian
03:43The answer was
03:44B. A big shed on wheels
03:46Called a bathing machine
03:48Like this one
03:49It would be wheeled into the sea with me inside it
03:52So then I could get out into the water without prying eyes watching me
03:56And splash around a bit
03:58And let me tell you, this ride was pimped
04:01It's got a changing room in there and curtains that go around the front
04:05So I couldn't be seen
04:07And there's even a royal working toilet inside
04:11I might be the queen, but I do not royal weave in the sea
04:16Unless it's an emergency
04:22Excuse me, Monica on the move
04:27Agatha? Agatha? That can't be you
04:30John! What brings you to Hawaii?
04:36You! Agatha! I published your books and were expecting another one
04:40I did not expect to find you, Agatha Christie, detective writer, on a beach in a...
04:45The bathing's here, John!
04:47Whatever it is, it's not a book and that's what we need
04:49People need more Poirot
04:51I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks
04:53Well, you've caught me, red-handed
04:55Why are you even here?
04:56Because of that little lady over there, Jonathan
04:59I can't see anyone
05:00Is it Miss Marple?
05:01The sea, John
05:02Do you know what this is?
05:03Uh, an insole for a very big shoe?
05:06It's a surfboard, John! I've been learning to surf
05:09So what are you now? A surfer?
05:12Could we at least fix a typewriter on this thing?
05:14I'm still a groundbreaking crime novelist, John
05:16I've just discovered a totally epic new hobby while on my vacation
05:20Well, you know what would be totally epic, Agatha? A new book!
05:25I do have a new idea for a book
05:27Oh, great
05:28It's about a British prince
05:30Terrific
05:31Who gets murdered
05:32Intriguing
05:33While surfing in Hawaii!
05:35Oh, that's ridiculous
05:37People simply won't take you seriously if you keep telling tales about surfing princes
05:42Hard work!
05:43John, have you met the Prince of Wales?
05:45What is hell?
05:47Your wonderful majesty
05:50Chill, bro
05:51Oh, it's awesome out there, Agatha
05:53I just stood up on the board
05:54I think I'm the first British dude to do it
05:57Check this out
05:58Woohoo!
06:00Later, bro
06:02Tell me more about this royal murder story then
06:05How does it start?
06:06Well, the prince is in the water and there may be a shock
06:09It's a great first chapter
06:11No, no, no
06:12The prince is in the water and there may be a shock
06:13Your royal highness!
06:14Watch out!
06:19It's true!
06:20Famous crime writer Agatha Christie really did get hooked on surfing
06:25And her surfboard really was called Fred
06:28When I go abroad on my holes
06:30As well as souvenir hunting in their exotic bins and sewers
06:35I love a bit of sightseeing
06:37And people in the past did too
06:39Alexander the Great once actually took a break from waging a war
06:44So he could go and visit the tomb of his hero
06:47The legendary Greek warrior Achilles
06:50Oh, they're emptying the bins
06:52Gotta get a snap
06:53Oh, oh
06:54That is
06:57Hail, fair Alexander
06:59Welcome to the ruins of ancient Troy
07:02Thanks, buddy
07:03We're actually on our way to attack the Persian Empire
07:05But we couldn't resist a little holiday and Troy on the way
07:08All war and no play makes Alexander the Great a dull and yet still strangely awesome emperor
07:14Well, let me be your tour guide to this historic ruin
07:17All I ask is the honour of your company
07:19And also a large bag of coins
07:21Wait, what do you want to see?
07:23Show me the resting place of Achilles
07:25The greatest of the Greek warriors and hero of the Trojan War
07:30Behold
07:31The tomb of Achilles
07:33Oh, it's right there, bro
07:34I can't believe I'm stood right in front of the actual tomb of Achilles, Hephaestion
07:39Look
07:40Yeah, I'm looking, it's great, bro
07:42Really like Achilles?
07:44Oh, yeah, yeah, massive fan
07:45I even sleep with a dagger under my pillow just like he did
07:48You know, I always tell Hephaestion if I have an Achilles heel is probably how much I love Achilles
07:54Yeah, he's always saying that, bro
07:56Always good to meet someone who respects the legends of Troy
07:58Just a bit
07:59Might have to pour a load of oil over the tomb in tribute
08:02Whoa, there he goes
08:04Probably don't need that much oil
08:06You know what?
08:07Gonna crown it in garlands too
08:08Garlands and oil
08:09Well, do we have to spend all day at the tomb of Achilles, bro?
08:12Er, yep
08:13In fact
08:14I'm gonna run around it naked
08:16Race you, Hephaestion
08:17Does he do this a lot?
08:18Yeah
08:19You better join in
08:20Otherwise it gets a bit grumpy
08:22Oh, watch out for the oil
08:23Whoa
08:24Oh
08:25Ha!
08:26Who wants to go and look at famous landmarks when you can look at me?
08:31Yes, when I, the great emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, was captured at Waterloo
08:36The impressive sight the people travelled to see was me
08:40And I don't blame them, I am a rather handsome chap
08:44Go on, treat yourself to an imperial classer
08:50It's 1815 and thousands of people have gathered in hundreds of small boats
08:55To catch a glimpse of the captured French emperor Napoleon
09:00Welcome to Goggle Boats
09:03Hello Boney
09:09Oh, he looks smashing
09:11Totally worth travelling all the way from Glasgow
09:13Oh, totally
09:14Would you like a man in uniform?
09:16Do you like a man who's been fighting Britain for the last 23 years?
09:20If he's in uniform, yeah
09:22Yeah
09:25I mean, it's good, but I wish something had actually happened
09:30Look, Mum
09:31Look, I only took his hat off
09:33Oh, that made it worth travelling 400 miles
09:35Can we go home now?
09:36Can we go home now?
09:43Yes!
09:44Yes!
09:45Yes!
09:46Yes!
09:47Yes!
09:48Yes!
09:49Yes!
09:50Woo!
09:51Woo!
09:52Woo!
09:53Oh, take him out son
09:54Take him out
09:55The British
09:57They're easily amused, no?
09:59Yep
10:00There is no nation as foolish as we are
10:05So, er, is he Napoleon?
10:07Hmm
10:08He's wearing a bicon hat, isn't he?
10:09With a two point
10:10Yeah, and three points to tricon
10:12Hmm
10:13Do you reckon if he got one point, that makes him a unicorn?
10:16Oh, they're singing him his national anthem
10:23What are those? Aren't the words the national anthem?
10:26No, Mum
10:27They're singing him the French national anthem
10:30In French
10:31Why?
10:32Cause he's...
10:33Never mind
10:34What's he doing here, anyway?
10:35He's been captured by the Royal Navy
10:37He's been kept here until he gets moved to a prison
10:39On a tropical island in the middle of the Atlantic
10:41Where he'll be for the rest of his life
10:43Hmm, hmm
10:44Tropical island
10:46If I knew that was the punishment, I would have invaded Holland years ago
10:49Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
11:03Well, I'm not sure sitting, watching that little French fellow waving his hat all day really floats my holiday boat
11:05Uh, Gusty
11:10Maybe you've been abroad for a holiday.
11:14Well, in the past, that was something that only very rich and powerful people could afford to do.
11:19In the 17th century, wealthy people went on trips called Grand Tours.
11:25I don't think you'd be getting much rest and relaxation with this lot.
11:30Every year, young lords from England set off across Europe to learn about Greek and Roman classic history.
11:36And they don't always behave themselves.
11:40Lords on Tour!
11:41Welcome to Grand Lords on Tour 1758.
11:46I'm the bear leader.
11:48It's my job to ensure these young gentellements have an educational and enriching time.
11:54Give us a kiss, bear leader!
11:55Please put that back. That is a priceless artifice.
11:58Oh, no!
12:00You're so old!
12:02Made a bit of a mess.
12:03I said, we're having a smashing time!
12:06The tour is a cultural experience for the young lords.
12:11I'm James Cecil, 6th out of Salisbury, king's cousin and wealthiest man in Shropshire.
12:17And I'm here to explore the philosophies and sights of the ancient past.
12:22And to party!
12:26No, no, no!
12:28I'll be careful!
12:29I'm not going to lie. I'm having the time of my life.
12:31We're going to the beach!
12:32I've spent so much money, 3,000 pounds.
12:36Is that a lot?
12:37Come back in! Come back in!
12:38The whole point of the Grand Tour is like, it's a kind of finishing school for landed gentry.
12:44You know what I'm saying?
12:45We get to see all the places we studied in real life.
12:47Like Florence, Constantinople, Rome, the Balkans!
12:52Yeah, we started in the Alps.
12:57Climbing.
12:57It's actually quite tough.
12:58No, no, no, not for me.
12:59I got one of the locals to carry me up in a chair.
13:03Some people get very upset with the young lord's behaviour.
13:06No, no, no, no!
13:08The folly of British boys has gained us the title Golden Asses all over Italy.
13:15Next week, the tour moves to Athens.
13:17Where the boys study Pythagoras, and Lord Cecil is sick on the Parthenon.
13:29Yo, yo, yo!
13:31It's your boy, Ibn Battuta here, international traveller extraordinaire!
13:37Follow me as I go on the Hajj.
13:40That's an Islamic holy pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia.
13:44Next stop, Mecca.
13:46Boy!
13:47Yo, I'm in India!
13:52What?
13:53I did go to Mecca, but then I love travelling so much, I just kept on going.
13:56Oh, and guess what?
13:58The Sultan of India has only hired me as his ambassador.
14:02Best holiday ever!
14:05The Sultan of India is sending me to China.
14:08I can't wait!
14:09Bandits are coming!
14:10Run for your life!
14:13Eh?
14:13Bandits incoming.
14:15Bandits incoming.
14:16I'm in a ditch hiding from the bandits.
14:18Worst holiday ever!
14:19He's hiding in the ditch!
14:21Probably shouldn't have shot that out.
14:23Worst holiday ever!
14:28It's your boy Battuta here.
14:29The bandits are keeping me prisoner in a cave.
14:31As caves go, it's a nice one, but I'm okay!
14:36I think a villager freed me!
14:39Yay!
14:40All I had to do was give him all my clothes!
14:42But, if you let me keep my trousers!
14:44From now on, they are officially my lucky trousers!
14:47Yeah!
14:47Now, onward to China!
14:49Yeah, boy!
14:54So, on the way to China, I stopped off at Ceylon.
14:57See what?
14:58Nothing but blue skies ahead for your boy Battuta!
15:02Best holiday ever!
15:04But, I'm sure that'll blow over!
15:06I'm sure that'll blow over!
15:07I'm sure that'll blow over!
15:11My ship got put in a storm.
15:12The others made a raft, but they said there was no room for your boy Battuta.
15:16So, you know, here I am, on a sinking ship, worst holiday ever!
15:22Never ever!
15:31Rescue!
15:32The new ship and new friends!
15:34Battuta's luck's in, boy!
15:36Best holiday ever!
15:37Pirates are coming!
15:38Rob your lives!
15:40Oh, come on!
15:44The ship was robbed by pirates, and my clothes were stolen.
15:47Again.
15:48But, it's not all doom and gloom!
15:50I've still got my lucky trouser and I have traveled 75,000 miles so actually
15:59best holiday ever
16:01what are we gonna do this summer probably nothing again
16:07not if I have anything to do with it who are you
16:10hi I'm Thomas Cook and I'm gonna give you the trip of a lifetime
16:15oh she's gone
16:17you Thomas Cook holidays in the first holiday of its kind
16:22I'm packaging together an incredible trip for the whole family
16:27all the way from Leicester to Loughborough
16:31wait did you say Loughborough
16:34Loughborough yeah that's only 11 miles away that's right
16:39a whole 11 miles of luxury train travel
16:43oh we're going first class well second class one carriage of holidaymakers will be going second class
16:52the other nine will be going third class your very own seat on a train probably and this trip is all inclusive
17:02with food provided at our destination
17:04well that actually sounds quite good what are we having
17:07a cup of tea and a ham sandwich
17:11so much for luxury we'll be giving out free flags to wave and there'll be a band plane to welcome you on your arrival
17:20it's a dream getaway it's a third class train ticket ham sandwich and a cheap flag
17:27it doesn't really sound like a holiday
17:30there are no other package holidays this is the first one so it's literally just this or stay at home
17:35sign me up yeah me too oh thanks guys
17:38Thomas Cook holidays where will your next adventure take you
17:43to be honest it's probably going to be Loughborough again next year
17:45when I'm on holiday I love a treat
17:52that might be a trip to something like a theme park
17:54or eating something tasty
17:57hello you nice candy floss
18:00and in my book the bigger the better
18:03in Victorian times though they had teeny tiny servings of ice cream called penny licks
18:09I dropped my candy floss in the bin
18:12I'll go and get it
18:14oh bonus I love toppings
18:18just when you thought the British summertime couldn't get any better
18:24oh look over there it's the ice cream cart
18:27yes it's everyone's favourite Victorian summer treat
18:31the penny lick the refreshing instant snack that you can share with friends
18:35one penny lick please
18:37our taste sensations include lemon
18:39strawberry vanilla and the saliva and germs of whoever had the glass last
18:44flavor
18:45um uh vanilla without the saliva and germs
18:49they ain't optional
18:50right and how much is a penny lick
18:53you trying to be funny
18:55the penny lick costs you just one penny
18:57well yes I suppose that is cheap
18:59and a fairly high risk of infection
19:01you do wash these glasses don't you
19:03sometimes
19:04I mean if it's been properly licked clean
19:07there's no need
19:09beautifully licked clean
19:13you could eat your dinner off that
19:14I love them
19:15because the cold gives me relief from the sores around my mouth
19:18oh pick a penny lick they're quick they're thick and there's a chance they won't make you sick
19:24one penny lick please and have one yourself
19:27you're joking ain't you
19:28I'm not eating there
19:30madame I present the most thrilling new experience in Paris
19:40the first of its kind in the whole world
19:43but it's just a wooden card on a tiny train track
19:46it is so much more than that
19:47I'm sure that's fine
19:49in years to come people will travel the world and queue all day just to ride one of these
19:54we call it
19:55les montagnes russes
19:57bonjour
19:58oh ha ha
19:59after those huge ice slides that look like little mountains
20:03preciously
20:05of course we don't have much ice here in Paris
20:08that is why we use the tracks
20:09so we are just in a box
20:11ending down an hill very very fast
20:13where isn't it outside
20:15shouldn't we wear some kind of safety strap to keep us from flying out if it stops suddenly
20:20that sounds like a great idea
20:22but it's a bit late right now
20:24I'm sure the tracks will keep us going in the right direction
20:29what happens if the wheels come out
20:33I guess we're about to find out
20:34the acceleration
20:36the danger
20:37it is so much fun
20:38why would anyone find danger fun
20:42I don't know madame
20:44but the more interest people have on this ride
20:47the more popular it becomes
20:49I would like to get off now
20:51I am going to do some of it
20:53I'm afraid there is no way to stop the ride
20:57until we get to the bottom
20:58that's if we do stop at the bottom
21:06just because the track stops doesn't mean we will
21:09scream if you want to go faster
21:13let's go again
21:18I am going up
21:20so you go on roller coasters and eat ice creams on your holidays
21:26I've got no idea what roller coasters and ice creams are
21:30or holidays
21:31in medieval times we didn't have anything like that
21:34well not exactly anyway
21:35more, bit more, bit more
21:38try and do it safely
21:39Arlo, we're just building a medieval church
21:44it's hard work, isn't it Dave?
21:46yeah
21:46I'm shattered
21:48bit like my foot
21:49but luckily
21:52building medieval churches does mean you get a bit of time off now and again
21:55but can you tell me why
21:57is it because
21:58A. we only work in the morning so we can pray in the afternoon
22:01B. we get some of the holy saints feast days off
22:04or
22:05C. no one can tell the time
22:07so we just finish when we want
22:08and pretend it's the end of the day
22:09the answer is
22:11B. we get some holy days off
22:14in fact that's where your word holidays comes from
22:17our holy days
22:18yeah where are you going for your holy feast tomorrow Ted?
22:20church, same as everyone else
22:22come on
22:23well we better finish building it then
22:25you're alright
22:28hi there
22:31holiday time
22:33I can't believe I am going to my first festemoria
22:37your church is going to love it
22:40a girls only festival right here in ancient Athens
22:44celebrating the fertility goddess Demeter
22:47whoo
22:48you are an absolute bottom 8 pooper brains for having not gone before
22:51that's actually quite heartful
22:53oh no babe that's the pre party bit of festemoria where we all insult each other
22:58you hairy smell bag
23:00you have a butt like the Parthenor
23:02you have a butt like the Parthenor
23:03because it's big old and smelly
23:04yay great festival bar
23:06it ends up
23:07because it's lovely
23:08oh my baby
23:09oh my baby
23:10oh my baby
23:10you look amazing
23:12you look amazing
23:13she knows about the pig guts right
23:14That's right.
23:15What?
23:16Girlies love guts.
23:17We sacrifice piglets and then we mix their guts with dough.
23:21Hit the link for more easy breezy guts and dough recipes.
23:25And then we throw them all into a big pit.
23:27Yay!
23:28One woman gets chosen to be something called the baler and they have to kind of go into
23:31the pit and scooch around in all of the pig gut mush and then they scoop it all up and
23:36spread it on the altar.
23:38Congratulations.
23:39We thought it would be cool if you were the baler this year.
23:42You're so lucky Olympia.
23:44Hashtag blast.
23:45She bailed.
23:46Can you believe you got to be baler at your first Thesmaphoria?
23:50I honestly can't.
23:51Thesmaphoria gift time!
23:55Click below to buy our very own Terracotta Piggy Collection.
23:58Perfect for you and your friends.
23:59You know sometimes you just give each other the gifts instead of bothering with all the
24:03baler and somebody scooping around and all the pig gut mush stuff.
24:06Wait what?
24:07What?
24:08So the gunk smooshing that was all optional?
24:10You butt brained boneheaded baboon butted boars!
24:13Awkward.
24:14Actually the insults are at the start of the festival.
24:17Yeah that was actually quite powerful.
24:19Don't forget to like and subscribe.
24:22Pig guts?
24:23Now that sounds like my kind of festival.
24:27Is it all you can eat?
24:29That's made me hungry now.
24:30Still nothing beats my favourite kind of holiday.
24:31I do like to be beside the seaside and we've got Queen Victoria to thank for helping make seaside
24:44holidays popular.
24:45But it was people like holiday camp pioneer Philly Buckling who really changed things.
24:51Thanks to him seaside breaks became more affordable for everyone from queens to rats.
24:58Happy holidays!
25:00Hey!
25:01Oh No!
25:09The beach was not traditionally where one would go.
25:14cold. But doctors said it helps to make your gout go, gout go. It's cool to be by the sea,
25:24now it's cool to be by the sea. I like to be by the sea and to take all my family. I
25:30change in a bathing machine, I see the sea, but it can't see me. Even a royal empress
25:36needs a staycation by the sea. I'm promenading while the kids are bar kitten spading. Oh
25:44yeah, in the sea we're paddling and wading. Na na na na, break by the ocean, break by the
25:53ocean. Donkey writes baby, or building a sandcastle maybe, oh yeah. Watch a punch and judy show
26:03daily. Na na na na, break by the ocean, break by the ocean.
26:14Seaside, factory workers sure like to be beside. I thought for their week off I could provide
26:23a holiday with entertainment supplied, supplied. Holiday camp by the sea, my holiday camp by the
26:34sea. I called it Butlands cause I named it after me. I'll do everything I can to make my campers
26:41all happy. Catering for all their needs, obviously for a fee. Candy floss baby, or a knobbly knee
26:51contest maybe, oh yeah. Grandparents, mums, dads and their babies. Everyone has fun by the ocean, break by the ocean.
27:03It's cool to be by the sea, now it's cool to be by the sea. Yeah yeah, when we came along it became a cool place to be.
27:10It's cool to be by the sea and it's all thanks to him and me. Na na na na, break by the ocean, break by the ocean.
27:19Shall we all go and get fish and chips? Yeah!
27:26Candy floss baby! Shall we all go and get fish and chips?
27:34The past is no longer a mystery. Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories.
27:41The past is no longer a mystery. Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories.
27:45Horrible Histories.
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