- 26 minutes ago
Two Doors Down - Season 7 Episode 100 -
(special) 2025 Christmas Special
(special) 2025 Christmas Special
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:01Listen, I'm just thinking...
00:03Shall we get the Christmas tree down while I'm up here?
00:06Yes, all right. I suppose we could.
00:08Right, I'll pass it down to you. Ready?
00:10Give me a minute!
00:15Just wash yourself with it.
00:17Yes, all right, Eric. I'm not totally useless.
00:27Are they OK?
00:28Yep, all fine.
00:30Mm-mm-mm...
00:33Mm-mm-mm...
00:38Oh, oh, oh...
00:48Do you not think it's a bit early to put it up?
00:50It's not even December yet.
00:51It's fine. Who's got to notice?
00:53Christine, that's me definitely going.
01:00Going where?
01:01To Ireland.
01:03For God's sake, Beth, do you not listen to a thing I tell you?
01:06Of course I do.
01:08We're in the middle of a big clear art and I'm just a wee bit busy.
01:10Right, OK.
01:11I'll come in and I'll talk you through the arrangements,
01:14but I cannot stay long.
01:17Right.
01:17Are you putting your Christmas tree up?
01:23It's a bit early, is it, no?
01:26Yes, well, we were up in the loft anyway,
01:28so we just thought we might as well.
01:30You see, I always follow what the church does
01:34and they put it up 12 days before.
01:36No, you're thinking a 12th night.
01:38That's when you take it down.
01:40Yes, a church puts theirs up on the first Sunday of December.
01:44Do they?
01:45Well, that's awful early.
01:47I think I'll have to have a word with Father Haggerty about that.
01:51I don't think it was ever up that early on Father Kowalski's day,
01:55but he really was a religious man.
01:58Where is it he is now?
01:59B&Q in its hill.
02:02But I don't think I'll bother putting up a tree this year,
02:05what with me not being here.
02:06What's this?
02:07I'm going to visit my cousin Devlet in Ireland for Christmas, Eric.
02:11Oh, it's fantastic, Christine.
02:13It's so nice that they made contact with you.
02:15Oh, I know, Beth.
02:17And to think, if Devlet hadn't sent that saliva sample off to Ancestry.com,
02:23we might never have known that we were related.
02:27Imagine if she'd had a dry mouth that day.
02:31And whereabouts are they?
02:32County Galway, Eric.
02:34Oh.
02:34I got the train to Stronraer, a ferry to Larn, a bus into Belfast,
02:40and then coach down to Galway.
02:42Oh, bet you'd track that.
02:44So, will it be Derval's whole family?
02:46Oh, yes.
02:47Her husband, Owen, now he's got his own plumbing business,
02:51so I will be looking forward to her bath.
02:53Oh, that's definitely on the list.
02:56And then there's our twin girls, Maeve and Aoife.
02:59Oh.
03:00It'll be nice to meet them,
03:02because they're actually my, what is it, my first cousins?
03:06No, no, no.
03:06Second.
03:08Oh, aye.
03:09I'm forgetting they're twins.
03:10Well, you'll have a great time, I'm sure.
03:14Oh, I hope so, Eric.
03:16I must say I'm looking forward to it.
03:18Although it will be strange not being at home on Christmas Day.
03:23I know you're always keen to have me in here, Beth,
03:27so I do feel a bit guilty that I might be letting you down.
03:31Are you sure you're OK with me going?
03:34You're all right.
03:34You'll be fine.
03:35Well, I think it's time we get down to discussing what bag I'm taking, eh?
03:39Ah, well, the thing is, Christine.
03:42Oh, who's this interrupting us?
03:51That's no you get your Christmas tree up already, is it, Beth?
03:54Beth.
03:54Well, it's a bit early, is it, no?
03:57Well, we were up in the loft.
03:58Do you know, just let her do it, Col.
04:00It'll brighten up that dingy front room.
04:02I suppose so.
04:04It's OK, Beth, that's fine.
04:05If it gives you something I'll look forward to, that's OK.
04:07Should we go in and see it?
04:09She'll be put out if we don't.
04:11Do you know what she's like?
04:12Right.
04:13We'll just come in for a minute and see it, Beth.
04:19Apparently, the cooked breakfasts on board the Stena line are excellent, huh?
04:25Irene up the high flats told me they serve a black pudding
04:29that is technically illegal on dry land.
04:32Ah, here he is.
04:34We elf here, helping you paint your tree up, Beth.
04:38He's far too big for an elf, Col.
04:40And there's Christine.
04:42How you doing?
04:43Oh, not bad, Colin.
04:45That is me all booked up for Ireland for Christmas.
04:48You're going to Ireland for Christmas, are you?
04:51Oh, yes.
04:51I'm staying with my cousin Dervla in Galway.
04:54Oh, that's nice.
04:56You're not going to be here, Christine.
04:58You'll be having a bit of the black stuff over there, eh?
05:01Remember, we went to the Guinness factory when we were in Dublin, Kath.
05:04Oh, God, that place.
05:05Oh, I will not be going back there.
05:07Oh, why not?
05:08Only serve as fucking Guinness.
05:10So is this you getting on set for Christmas, then?
05:13What's the plans?
05:14Oh, well, nothing special.
05:16It's just the two of us, so just, you know, traditional.
05:20Traditional?
05:21Well, you've not made a very good start putting your tree up this fucking early.
05:25And what about you two?
05:26Do you know what you're doing?
05:27We're going to that same hotel again on Christmas Day
05:30cos we quite like it, don't we?
05:32It's really festive how they decorate it all.
05:34And you get steak instead of turkey,
05:37a cocktail instead of Christmas pudding,
05:39and there's a massive smoking section out by the nativity.
05:42The problem we've got is we don't know what presents to get.
05:45Well, I'm fine just with money.
05:48No, I mean, for each other.
05:51Yeah, we're not getting you anything, Eric.
05:52See, we've already got everything, haven't we?
05:55Oh, poor you, right enough.
05:57I always get calling pants for Christmas,
05:58but I can't get any more in the drawer.
06:00No.
06:01And you can't exactly take the old ones to the charity shop, can you?
06:04No, they don't take them.
06:06Well, certainly the British Heart Foundation don't.
06:09Though Irene did tell me about a website
06:11where there seems to be quite a lot of interest.
06:15We were just going up to the charity shop once we'd finished the tree.
06:19Are you getting yourself something, Beth?
06:21Well, it is finished, really, apart from turning on the lights.
06:24OK, then.
06:25Let's see the big switch on.
06:26Come on, Eric.
06:28I'll puff your fat arse.
06:32Here, Beth.
06:33This reminds me of that time we saw Marty Pellis switch on the lights in Clyde Bank.
06:38Do you remember that, Beth?
06:39I do.
06:40I'm not actually sure whether he was on the heroin at that point,
06:44because we were quite far back, you know?
06:46Right.
06:47We all ready?
06:47Aye.
06:48Yeah.
06:48Come on, Eric.
06:51Oh, my God.
06:53Well, you know, you can always stop by the dump as well.
06:57I don't know how much longer I'm going to manage getting in and out of this seat, Alan.
07:10You're right to start getting in the back?
07:12No, I mean, you might not get a card or get on my insurance or something.
07:16Aye, right, right.
07:17I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well.
07:20You may be trapped to jump too soon.
07:26Look!
07:26Beth's got her Christmas tree up.
07:29Think we should go over and say a wee quick hello and see it?
07:34Nah.
07:36We've got a nice picture of us in front of the Oscar Wilde statue in Dublin, haven't we?
07:40Aye.
07:41Oh, you know, my favourite quote of his is when he was going through customs in America
07:45and he said,
07:47I have nothing to declare but my genius.
07:52Well, I prefer the statue of Morley Malone.
07:54You go up, rubber tits brings you luck.
07:57Oh, for God's sake.
07:59It did as well.
08:00We went to Temple Bar after that.
08:02We didn't get hassled by one beggar.
08:04I'll go.
08:12Oh, hello, you two.
08:15Or should that be two and a half?
08:17She's some size new, isn't she, Eric?
08:20Train to Stranraer, ferry to land, bus to Belfast, coach to Galway.
08:25My God, I need a flight to Switzerland after that.
08:29That's a proper Irish road trip, that.
08:31It is, Colin.
08:32But, you know, I now feel I've got a really deep connection to Ireland
08:37now that I know for sure that I've got Irish blood in me.
08:41If you're going to Galway, would you know me better flying to Shannon?
08:45There's that.
08:46Oh, hi, Michelle.
08:48Hi, Alan.
08:49Hi.
08:50Hello, everyone.
08:52Sorry to just appear at your door, Beth.
08:54Don't worry about that.
08:55No-one else does.
08:56How are you, Michelle?
08:59Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
09:00Just so tired all the time.
09:02Oh, yeah, you do look really knackered.
09:05Come and sit down, Michelle.
09:07Come on.
09:07Hey, there we go.
09:10Sit down, yeah.
09:11Who's you, Alan, eh?
09:13Everything all right?
09:14Aye, all right.
09:16Just back for the garage with the van.
09:17Oh, no.
09:18Something wrong with it?
09:19Somebody ran into the back of me, Eric.
09:21Oh, my God.
09:22What happened?
09:23Were you eating a sausage roll while you were driving, Alan?
09:26No, I was coming off the motorway to go through the tunnel,
09:28and it was a wee jam,
09:29so I had to slow right down.
09:31Next thing I know, somebody's ran into the back of me.
09:34Oh, they'd be on their phone, no doubt.
09:37Aye.
09:37And see the full seat?
09:38Mine's flew right out of my hand under the seat.
09:41They took their time fixing it at the garage, didn't they?
09:43Yeah.
09:44Alan was late picking me up from my antenatal class.
09:46Oh, no.
09:47That's fine, Beth.
09:48You can't see the dent at all.
09:49So, anyway, how are you guys doing?
09:53How's Ian?
09:54Oh, he's fine, aye.
09:56He's coming over to have a look through his old stuff before we junk it.
09:59Are you trying to get rid of every trace of him, Eric?
10:02Have you any baby stuff, Eric?
10:04Because maybe Alan and Michelle might want that.
10:06I remember she used to have them in a lot of brown, Michelle.
10:10Eric, it's fine.
10:11I've ordered loads of stuff already, actually.
10:14You know, the wee baby grows and the jammies and the wee onesies.
10:19They're just all so cute, aren't they?
10:21Oh, they are, Michelle.
10:23Well, until they soil them.
10:26Have you made any decisions on names, Michelle?
10:28No, because we still can't seem to agree on anything, can we?
10:31But, if it's a boy, I like the name Lewis.
10:36Good Scottish name, that.
10:39I don't think it says a bit like Lewis, though, Eric.
10:42Honey, you're definitely sure you don't want to find out what you're having, Michelle?
10:47I mean, that would make it a bit easier.
10:50No, I just don't want to know.
10:52No, I'm not that interested either, Michelle.
10:56Can I get you a tea or a glass of water or something?
10:58I'd take a water off you if it's not too much trouble, Beth.
11:01What about the rest of us, Beth?
11:03I hear, have you got any mince pies?
11:06A wee cup of tea and a mince pie, that'd be nice.
11:09Well, the thing is...
11:10Why? A tea and a mince pie? I wouldn't say no.
11:12First of the season.
11:13I fucking hate mince pies.
11:15Have you got the ones with the brandy in them, Beth?
11:17Well, I'll take one of them, though.
11:19No, you see, you know, I love the ones with all the cream on the top.
11:22Oh, have you tried them?
11:23Oh, I like the sound of them.
11:25Have you got any of them, Beth?
11:27I haven't got any mince pies.
11:29Oh, God.
11:30You cannae invite us all in here saying it's the start of Christmas
11:35and know of any Christmas stuff in for us.
11:37We didn't do that.
11:39You've got your tree up, Eric.
11:40You know, that sends a message.
11:42It's like the swingers with the pampas grass.
11:44Yes, Eric. Shut your face.
11:47Is that really a thing, that, the pampas grass?
11:49I thought it was just, like, one of those things folks say.
11:51Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
11:52There's a couple round the new bulbs that had it and they were very, very active.
11:57Apparently.
11:58Beth, don't worry about the water.
12:00Actually, I'm fine.
12:01Aye.
12:01And it makes a baby kick, then she goes on about it.
12:04Don't be daft.
12:05Of course I'll get you a glass of water.
12:07And I'm happy to do teas and coffees for anyone who's wanting.
12:10I just don't have any mince pies.
12:13I mean, we were just clearing out the loft,
12:17not declaring that it was officially Christmas.
12:20I mean, I'd like to have the power to do that, but I'm afraid I don't.
12:23OK?
12:28Beth.
12:29You don't even have a wee tub of celebrations or nothing, no?
12:40A bit early with the tree, are you not?
12:51What, is it just feeling Christmassy?
12:53I wish we'd never bothered, to be honest.
12:59Quality Street is what I used to get when it was just Sophie and me, you know?
13:04Oh, the green ones were my favourite.
13:07I used to love them.
13:08No, I'm not a bit Sophie.
13:09What ones were hers?
13:10Oh, the other ones.
13:13All right.
13:14Not like you to have a house full.
13:16Aye, son.
13:16Hi, Ian.
13:17Hi, Dad.
13:18Hi, Colin.
13:18Hi, Kathy.
13:19How you doing, Ian?
13:20Oh, I'm fine.
13:21How are you guys?
13:22Everything OK?
13:23Yeah, I'm fine.
13:23Not really, Ian.
13:24Somebody went into the back of my van.
13:26Oh, no.
13:27I know.
13:28I'll just get it back today.
13:29You weren't in it at the time, were you?
13:30No.
13:31Oh, well, could have been worse.
13:32You're saying that, but that was two full days it was off the road.
13:38Anyway, how are you doing, Ian?
13:39How's Gordon?
13:40Aye, he's good.
13:41He's coming over here to meet me after college.
13:43Oh, is he still enjoying it?
13:44Oh, aye, he's loving it.
13:46I'm not loving being the only one earning, no.
13:47Oh.
13:48And you'll be in a very poor wages, is he?
13:50Ian.
13:52What did he pack his job in for anyway, Ian?
13:55Oh, basically, he just wasn't happy.
13:57Oh, you see, this is the new thing, isn't it?
14:00You don't like something, you just stop doing it.
14:04Never used to be like that.
14:05No, you just kept going.
14:07That was your lot.
14:08You just had to accept it.
14:10Like you with Eric, Beth.
14:12Right.
14:12Listen, you want to look through this stuff from the loft before we throw it out?
14:16All right, now.
14:17Oh.
14:17Okay, where is it?
14:19I'll go and get it.
14:21So, what are you and Gordon up to for Christmas then?
14:24Oh, just having a quiet one, to be honest.
14:26We did invite them, but they said no.
14:28Oh, Gordon's got an assignment to do over the holidays.
14:31Sort of taking over everything at the minute.
14:33And what's it on?
14:34That's the thing.
14:34He can't make up his mind.
14:35Do you think he's quite a weak person, Ian?
14:39We get rid of a lot of other stuff, but we weren't sure whether you'd want to keep any of this.
14:46God, my old laptop.
14:49I remember the year you got me this.
14:51I remember going to Curry's out at Renfrew to get it.
14:54Oh, that is a nice store, that.
14:57Me and Pat went there to get Sophie our Game Boy.
15:01That was a big present that year.
15:03Did you get her one?
15:04No, they were sold out.
15:05So, I just got her a lady shave instead.
15:08And if I remember right, I think Pat got some Hoover bags.
15:13God, I can remember taking the wrapping off it.
15:15Then straight upstairs and on to the porn, eh, Ian?
15:19Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day.
15:22We didn't want to just throw it out.
15:24No, no, no.
15:25Listen, he could have some good stuff in it, Eric.
15:27Look, I'll take this, but you can get rid of this.
15:29Oh, are you sure?
15:31That hat and scarf set was a present as well.
15:33I don't think you've ever worn them.
15:36Ian.
15:37He was always a very ungrateful wee boy, Michelle.
15:42I remember I gave him a banana once and he just threw it behind the hut.
15:47You'll need to get your mum something decent for that this year, Ian, to make up for that.
15:51Just get her a bottle of rosé, Ian.
15:54That's what we do.
15:55She always seems genuinely quite happy.
15:59Sorry, Mum.
16:00I'll take those as well.
16:01Oh, well, if you're sure.
16:03And if you don't like them, maybe Gordon will.
16:05Yeah.
16:06He's got no fashion sense at all, Ian.
16:08I still don't understand how he's starting college at his age.
16:13I mean, is he no too old?
16:15He's a mature student.
16:16Yeah, exactly.
16:18He's a mature student.
16:26Hello.
16:27How's it going?
16:29Are we going just now or am I coming in?
16:31No, I'm coming in, aren't I?
16:32Righto.
16:33I get the train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast, coach down to Galway.
16:41That's a hurrier trip, that.
16:42Alan.
16:43It's a fair way, Alan, but when it is family, it is worth all the effort.
16:48Quite right.
16:50And, you know, you'll be like Santa coming down from the North Pole with your big sack of Christmas presents.
16:55I'll no need to buy them all presents, will I?
17:00Hi, Gordon.
17:01Oh, hiya, Gordon.
17:02Gordon, what's that you've got in your head?
17:05Oh, it's my helmet.
17:06I came on my scooter.
17:08You came here by scooter?
17:10Yeah.
17:11I'll be one of those e-scooters.
17:14I may fancy one myself.
17:15Is that an e-scooter you've got, Gordon?
17:17No, it's just a regular one.
17:21Gordon, come here a minute.
17:23Come here.
17:29That's you.
17:29It was sticking up a bit.
17:32So, how's your course going, Gordon?
17:35Yeah, good.
17:36Yeah.
17:37What is it you're studying again?
17:38Sociology and Literature.
17:40Oh, right.
17:41You're not bothered about getting a job after, are you?
17:43Ian says you've got an assignment to do.
17:46Oh, yeah.
17:47I haven't made up my mind what to do it on yet.
17:50It's meant to be something on cultural change, but it's such a big subject.
17:54Oh, God, yeah.
17:55What about Emmerdale going on to YouTube?
17:58I don't think that's the sort of thing Gordon's studying on his course, Christine.
18:02So, it's literature you're doing, is it?
18:05Tell you a good book.
18:07What's that one I read on holiday?
18:09Oh, fuck that.
18:10You wouldn't put that down.
18:12He was reading it in bed.
18:13I know.
18:14I got right into it.
18:15So, I did.
18:16I know what it was.
18:17It was Duncan Bannatine's autobiography.
18:18You read that, Gordon?
18:19Er, no.
18:20What about Maeve Benchy?
18:22You read any hers?
18:24All set in Ireland.
18:25They're not be doing Maeve Benchy books in the literature course.
18:28I know it.
18:29There's fucking tons of them.
18:32I see you've got your Christmas tree up, Mrs Bed.
18:34Well, it's awful early, is it not, Gordon?
18:37You've not got yours up, have you?
18:39Well, no, but...
18:40It's also shit.
18:42Look at the state of it.
18:44It'll look great when you've got the rest of the decorations up.
18:48You're not saying this is it, are you?
18:51Well, we were having a clear out and there was decorations there that we'd had for years.
18:55They were a bit tatty.
18:57Erm, if you throw out everything tatty, you're not going to have anything left.
19:02Oh, Beth, we've got absolutely loads of Christmas decorations if you want some, haven't we, Alan?
19:06Aye.
19:07She cannae go past them in the short without buying them.
19:09It's the same with toilet rolls.
19:11We've got hundreds of them.
19:13I know.
19:14That's very kind, Michelle.
19:15Look, we've got piles of old ones as well.
19:17Aye, you could always have mine, Beth, since I'm going to be in Ireland.
19:21Alan, are we going to get some for Beth and Eric?
19:24Michelle, no, we...
19:25Oh, honestly, Eric, it's fine.
19:27We've got way more than we've got room to put up, so...
19:29Come on, Eric, it's fucking miserable in here.
19:38Are we ready?
19:39Yes, come on.
19:40Yay!
19:41That's proper Christmassy now, isn't it?
19:42Well, not till we get a bottle open.
19:44What about you boys?
19:45Shhh!
19:46I won't tell anyone you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon.
19:47Em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em.
19:48Yeah, I'll take one if that's okay with you, Michelle.
19:50Oh, yeah, you guys go ahead. I'll just stick to my water.
19:52Did you not realise that being pregnant was going to be really boring, Michelle?
19:56Is it okay if I have a lager?
19:57Of course it is, Alan.
19:58Are you just saying that now and you'll give me a row later?
19:59Or do you really mean that?
20:00I'm going to get a bottle open.
20:01I'm going to get a bottle open.
20:02What about you boys?
20:03Shh!
20:04Won't tell anyone you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon.
20:05I'm going to get a bottle open.
20:06What about you boys?
20:07Shh!
20:08I won't tell anyone you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon.
20:11Em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em.
20:13Yeah, I'll take one, if that's okay with you, Michelle.
20:15Oh, yeah, you guys go ahead.
20:16I'll just stick to my water.
20:17Of course it is, Alan.
20:18Are you just saying that now and you'll give me a row later?
20:21Or do you really mean it?
20:23I think I've got a bottle of fizz in the fridge.
20:26Woo!
20:27You know when I think it feels like Christmas is coming?
20:30When you hear the Christmas songs on the radio.
20:32Yeah, I love Christmas songs.
20:34Hey, Eric, have you got that Christmas album?
20:37I think I do.
20:38As long as you haven't thrown it out.
20:40Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey.
20:43So when is it you're off to Ireland, Christine?
20:46Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle.
20:49Oh, God, it's just so exciting.
20:51You're going to have such a brilliant time.
20:53We loved Dublin, didn't we?
20:55We were saying earlier, Alan,
20:56that the Guinness that you get in the Guinness factory
20:58isn't like anywhere else.
21:00Aye, it's 20-fucking-euro.
21:04Awww!
21:10Right, everyone want one?
21:15Sorry, Michelle.
21:16Oh, Beth, don't worry.
21:17I'm fine.
21:18I like my water.
21:19It's all right, Michelle.
21:20You can get pissed again once the baby's here.
21:22Well, this is a bit more like it, eh?
21:24Cheers, everybody.
21:25Cheers.
21:26Aye, cheers.
21:27Cheers.
21:28Here, Beth.
21:30Could you go and get me that wee glass that I like?
21:33I don't like the way this one feels in my hand.
21:36Oh, thanks.
21:37Here.
21:38I hope you won't be so fussed over on Ireland, Christine,
21:40but they'll send you back.
21:41Dad, stick it on to the next song.
21:42I can't be bothered with this one.
21:43It goes on for ages.
21:44Oh, no, no, no, Cole.
21:45No, no, no.
21:46I hate this one.
21:47Get it off.
21:48She hates this.
21:49Why do you not like it, Cathy?
21:50I don't like the sound of children singing, Gordon.
21:51Now, this.
21:52This is a classic.
21:53Oh, does this one not do your head in?
21:54What, do you not like it, Alan?
21:55It's all right, but you hear it everywhere you go, don't you?
21:56It is a bit ubiquitous, yeah.
21:57I'll tell you what you hear everywhere.
21:59Band-aid.
22:00Oh, it was amazing what they did with that.
22:02Oh, yes.
22:03Mm-hm.
22:04Oh, that's not so funny.
22:05It's not so funny.
22:06It's not so funny.
22:07Oh, no, no, no.
22:08I hate this one.
22:09Get it off.
22:10She hates this.
22:11Why do you not like it, Cathy?
22:12I don't like the sound of children singing, Gordon.
22:13Now, this.
22:14This is a classic.
22:15Oh, does this one not do your head in?
22:16Would you not like it, Alan?
22:17It's all right, but you hear it everywhere you go, don't you?
22:19It is a bit ubiquitous, yeah.
22:21I'll tell you what you hear everywhere.
22:22Band-aid.
22:23Oh, it was amazing what they did with that.
22:25Yes.
22:26Mm-hm.
22:27Although, there is a bit of a backlash against it now.
22:30Against band-aid?
22:31Is it cos Bono's a wank?
22:33Alan.
22:34It is, but...
22:35It's just, they think it maybe did more harm than good,
22:38cos it made people feel they'd solved the problem of global inequality
22:42when, in actual fact, it's worsened with the impact of climate change.
22:45Plus, there's the whole white saviour thing,
22:48which is quite toxic as well.
22:50Oh.
22:52I didn't realise it was so controversial.
22:54Well, it's an interesting debate.
22:56I personally think that the...
22:59This is the best one ever.
23:01Oh, I do like this.
23:03What is it?
23:04The Polks.
23:05Shane McGowan.
23:06Always pissed.
23:07Oh, him, yes.
23:09There's a couple of names for you, Michelle.
23:11What?
23:12Well, Shane for a boy or Kirsty for a girl.
23:14Oh, a good Irish name, that, Michelle. Shane.
23:18Actually, I quite like those.
23:21Aye.
23:22Wee Shane Edgar.
23:24Sounds good, doesn't it?
23:25Poor Kirsty.
23:26Aye, that's all right, I know.
23:29Here, Christine.
23:30This is the one where the choir's singing Galway Bay.
23:33That's where you'll be at Christmas.
23:35Oh, here, so it is.
23:37Christine, it's just gonna feel really weird,
23:39you being away at your cousin's for Christmas.
23:44Beth.
23:51Do you think it's gonna be okay?
23:53What do you mean?
23:54Me going to deathless, but it's...
23:56Well, it's just I know that sometimes I can be a wee bit demanding.
24:02Oh, Christine.
24:03What if they end up wishing they'd ever made contact with me
24:07and cannae wait to see the back of me?
24:09You're going to have a wonderful time.
24:12Christmas is for families and they're your family.
24:15They're gonna be thrilled you're there.
24:17Do you think so?
24:18Yes.
24:23Here, Beth.
24:24You know how I'm getting the train to strenra and end
24:27and getting the fairy hiss?
24:29Train to strenra, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast
24:33and coach to Galway.
24:35You okay to give me a lift into the station?
24:39Yes.
24:40You okay there, Gordon?
24:41Any problem with this song?
24:43Well, it depends which version it is.
24:45What?
24:46Well, there's a word in the song that's quite offensive, so...
24:50What word?
24:51Well, I don't really want to say it.
24:53I think I know what it is.
24:54What is it, Beth?
24:55Is it scumbag?
24:56What is wrong with scumbag?
24:57It rhymes with maggot.
24:59It rhymes with maggot?
25:01Maybe just forward it on to the next one.
25:03What rhymes with maggot?
25:05I know.
25:06I know!
25:07What is it?
25:08It begins with an F, Christine.
25:11Fuck with it.
25:12Look, maybe just put it off, Dad.
25:16What is it?
25:20What's wrong with that?
25:21It's quite offensive, especially to gay people.
25:24I thought it was Poofter was the one that he's didn't like.
25:27Look, it's getting to the point you cannae say anything without offending someone.
25:32Oh, here we go.
25:33Well, it's ridiculous.
25:34I mean, you cannae even have a bit of homophobic swearing in a Christmas song any more.
25:38I think it's more we're just becoming more aware of how the things we say impact on other people,
25:45and a recognition that some terms that were once in common usage were in fact offensive, frankly.
25:51We should probably make a move.
25:53What other words can we not say, Gordon?
25:55Well, it's not up to me.
25:57What about Fanny?
25:59If someone was to call you a silly Fanny, would you be offended by that?
26:03Cathy.
26:04Well, I wouldn't really be offended, but, I mean, if we're going to get into it,
26:07I don't really think anyone should be using a female body part as an insult.
26:11Does that mean that you cannae say...
26:13Christine!
26:14What about dick?
26:15Can you still call someone a dick?
26:17That's less bad.
26:18Oh, thank God for that.
26:20I've seen that quite a lot, don't I?
26:22I may as well.
26:23Why is dick not as bad, Gordon?
26:26Well, it's that men have historically been the dominant gender, so...
26:30What about wanker, Gordon?
26:32Cos technically that's...that's either, isn't it?
26:34Arsehole.
26:35You know, we've all got one of those.
26:37And where would the gays be without them?
26:39Oh...
26:40I really think we should head.
26:43You know what I think, Gordon?
26:45What?
26:47I think you should do your assignment on all of this.
26:51Language and all of that.
26:53How it's changed.
26:55You really know what you're talking about.
26:57Well, I don't think that's...
27:01I can't really see how that would...
27:06Actually, that's a really good idea.
27:13Don't forget your hat and scarf.
27:14Ah, yeah.
27:15See about that.
27:17Do you mind if we don't do presents this year?
27:20Oh, right.
27:21Yeah, it's just...
27:22We're a bit skint this year with me being at college.
27:25Is that why you're not coming over on Christmas Day?
27:30Kinda, yeah.
27:32Do not worry about presents, but come over for dinner.
27:35We'd love to have you.
27:38Right, okay.
27:40Cheers, Mum.
27:44Erm...
27:45No hugs for me, Gordon.
27:54That's a nice kiss for you as well.
27:56Bye, Ian.
28:07Ooh!
28:08Is that your scooter, Gordon?
28:09Yeah.
28:10Ooh!
28:11I wonder if Cole would like one of those.
28:13Oh, my God, I could get him one for his Christmas.
28:15Cole!
28:16Cole!
28:17Come and get a look at Gordon's scooter!
28:20What's happening?
28:21I think Cole has got to have a go on Gordon's scooter.
28:25Oh, I'd quite like to see that.
28:29I haven't been in one of these for years.
28:32Go on, Cole!
28:34Wee!
28:36Woo!
28:41Oh!
28:44Oh, my fucking van!
28:47The boys from the Empire pleading cars will soon go away by.
28:54And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.
29:17We soaring in our, we seemed to be wかった, a little warten.
29:22We're asking, let's make sure that we're gonna keep making 24 hours in summer.
29:24You could see?
29:25That's all, the boys'
29:38It's a big deal.
29:40I'm working on a, you today.
Be the first to comment