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00:00Ferocious fights, stingy castles, daring knights
00:02Horrors that did by description
00:03Cutthroat cults or cruel egyptians
00:05Vicious vikings, cruel crimes
00:06Punished perforation dives
00:07Roman rotten rag and rootless
00:09Cavemen savage, beers and tubeless
00:10Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
00:11Mean and Muslim middle-aged
00:13Gory stories, we do that
00:15And your host, a talking rat
00:18The past is no longer a mystery
00:21Welcome to...
00:22Horrible Histories
00:25Horrible Histories presents...
00:29Boots, Barbie Battles Special
00:31Is the coast clear?
00:37Oh, that looked nasty
00:39My brothers and sisters and I are in the middle of an epic battle
00:42One of our classic ratty pillow fights
00:45Incoming!
00:48It all started when my sisters invaded my brother's bedroom
00:52That's how real wars sometimes start too
00:54One nation invades another country
00:56And tries to take it over
00:58Of course, some of history's invasions went better than others
01:01Chuck!
01:04It started with the Spanish Armada
01:08That huge amount of ships that we sent against the English
01:11I think we made them mad
01:13It did
01:14It made them so mad
01:16It led to...
01:18The lesser known Armada
01:19Try and invade us, will you, Spain?
01:22Right now, it's payment time
01:24So Francis Drake
01:27Your march
01:28Unleash
01:29The English Armada
01:32You had me unleash the aim
01:36The English Armada
01:40Led by Francis Drake
01:42Aboard his ship, Revenge
01:44180 ships
01:45Tens of thousands of soldiers
01:48We shall destroy the Spanish fleet
01:50Attack!
01:51No fleet could match them
01:53Wait!
01:54Instead of their fleet of ships
01:57Let's attack the Spanish city of Coruña
02:00But attacking a well defended city instead of a fleet
02:03Might not go as well
02:05I wonder if they've conquered Spain yet
02:08Hmm
02:09Okay
02:11Might take a bit longer than I thought
02:13Longer?
02:14The winds are blowing in the wrong direction
02:16The men are dying of salvation and sickness
02:18What are you complaining about?
02:19We've still got 5,000 men
02:21Yes, but we started out with tens of thousands of men
02:24That's not ideal
02:26The English Armada
02:28The one you've maybe not heard of
02:30And coming soon
02:32You know the English Armada we sent against the Spanish
02:35Because of the Spanish Armada they sent against us
02:37Well I think they may be planning revenge
02:40No
02:41Yes
02:42Another Spanish Armada
02:45The Spanish Armada 2
02:47Armada Harder
02:50I'm beginning to think Armadas might be overrated
02:55Me and my brothers are losing the battle
02:57So we've turned our bedrooms into a fort
02:59We've built barriers at every entrance
03:01So our sisters can't attack us
03:03We are totally safe
03:08Battles are hard
03:09And it's not just the landscapes that are a problem
03:12Take it down you lot
03:14Sorry mum
03:15Sometimes the people are the problem
03:17William the Conqueror found that out
03:19After he killed King Harold at the Battle of Hastings
03:22He came up against a particularly tricky opponent
03:25Harold's mum
03:27Mum
03:33Hello
03:34I am King William of England
03:37I know you're in there
03:40We're not scared of you William
03:42Guys seriously
03:43I am not okay about this rebellion
03:46I just conquered you
03:48I'm so peeved
03:50I literally just poked this guy's eyes out
03:52There was a whole battle near Hastings remember
03:56My rival King Harold and all his brothers were killed or captured
04:01I mean there is literally no one else from the royal family left to lead you
04:08Move it sunshine
04:12Cooey
04:16Oh for crying out loud look who it is
04:18Yeah what if you hadn't poked my eyes out
04:20Oh sorry yeah
04:21It's the old King Harold's mum Geetha
04:23Oh?
04:24Yeah you forgot about mummy didn't ya?
04:30Yeah
04:31Look it would be better for everybody if we ended all this rivalry and you just surrendered
04:37So what do you say?
04:40Why's it all gone quiet?
04:42Hang on something's happening
04:44Oh I think he's getting his bum out
04:46Oh yeah
04:47But why?
04:48Don't worry about it your majesty
04:51Everyone does it when they get nervous
04:53That wasn't me it was them
04:55Oh sure it was
04:56That's our answer
05:00The sound of a movers rage
05:06And by the smell of it
05:10Cabbage
05:13Oh gosh that is strong
05:16Maybe you should go and change your chainmail
05:19It wasn't me
05:20Do you want me to poke something else out?
05:22Yeah can you start with my nose?
05:23Hit him again
05:26I know you have them surrounded but maybe it's time we were treated
05:30Yeah it stinks
05:32That's right
05:34Fear our power
05:37And smell it too
05:40Oh I could smell that one from France
05:43We'll be back
05:44Right that's enough
05:47It's been 90 years since Caesar failed to conquer Britain
05:54Rome as a new emperor determined to finish the job
05:58It's gonna take one tough toga wearer to risk everything in this hellhole
06:03I'm emperor Claudius and this is extreme survival
06:07Step one
06:09Defense
06:10You're on an island filled with bloodthirsty warriors and druids
06:15Staying alive through the night is going to be a challenge
06:18You're going to need protection
06:19And you're going to need it fast
06:21Look around you
06:22What do you see?
06:23Nothing but trees and dirt
06:25But trees and dirt
06:26With training and basic tools can become a fortress
06:29A fortress can keep you alive
06:32When everybody around you wants you dead
06:35But what I like to do is
06:37Stay 900 miles away in a row
06:39And let my general Paulinus and the army do the hard work
06:44When you're faced with that
06:46Being somewhere completely different is a very effective way of staying alive
06:50Step two
06:53Stop rebellions
06:54You've finally arrived in Great Britain because the war has already been won
06:57But now you have to win at a peace
06:59And these locals will rebel at the drop of a helmet
07:01You need to be prepared and that means using what's around you
07:04Look around you what do you see?
07:06A stone can be used as a missile
07:09And wood is good for keeping the fire going at night
07:13Staying well lit and armed is vitally important in a hostile situation
07:17But what I like to do is bring an elephant
07:20It's unlikely the locals would have seen an elephant
07:24What's around they'll say?
07:26And I'll say that's an elephant
07:28And they'll say cool
07:29I've never seen one of those
07:30Let's not rebel
07:31Probably
07:32Who cares?
07:33I've got an elephant
07:34I love it when they do that
07:36Extreme elephant
07:38Step three
07:40Conquer more of the island
07:41So you're safer from attack
07:42You've secured the southeast
07:44But it's gonna take years
07:46To spread your rule across this new and dangerous island
07:49You've got decades of hard work and danger ahead of you
07:52But what I like to do is
07:54Go home after sixteen days
07:56Let the army do the rest
07:58Going home to Rome seriously reduces your chances of being killed abroad
08:02And that's
08:04Extreme survival
08:06Let's bounce
08:08I forgot my elephant
08:14Now Jim
08:18In precisely one minute's time
08:20We're going to march
08:21As British soldiers
08:22Fighting for the East India Company
08:24Into battle
08:25At Syringapatta
08:26How do you like that?
08:27Any chance we can do it tomorrow, Colonel?
08:28Of course
08:29No, we cannot do it tomorrow
08:31We're doing it today
08:32Can we have this conversation in the shade, sir?
08:34I think my hat has caught my head
08:36No, we cannot talk in the shade
08:38A British soldier stands where he must
08:41Be that under fire
08:42In the ice
08:43Or in the sun
08:44Is that understood?
08:46He must be very strong
08:49I think their leader just killed a man with his finger
08:52Why are the British wearing such ridiculously hot and thick uniforms?
08:57You know, marching to someone else's country killing anyone who resists
09:01The least you can do is dress appropriately
09:03We're struggling with the sun, sir
09:05I mean, we all are
09:06We're not used to it
09:07All the fevers
09:08All the water
09:09All the food
09:10Oh, sorry, I've got a dysentery, sir
09:12Alright, hey, oh, oh, oh
09:14That was a close one
09:15I don't care if it's a bit hot
09:18I don't care if you've got a runny bottom
09:21I don't care if anyone's got a little bit of fever
09:26Ah, lemons
09:27Badgers
09:28Soup fairies
09:29That's just fever
09:30He's seeing things
09:31Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
09:33Promise I'm trying to keep him in
09:35Can you hear gunfire?
09:37I think some of them soldiers are dropping bottom bombs
09:40They can't handle food with flavour
09:41It goes straight through them
09:42It is a mystery why they keep stealing food from us
09:45When they finally leave
09:47It is going to take an age to clean up after them
09:49And to rebuild all the cities they've burned
09:51You lot are a disgrace
09:53Now, you need to be ready to march
09:55I am standing dead still and flexing my bum
09:58If I march
10:00There's going to be carnage
10:02Perhaps you'd like to be excused from battle today
10:04Thank you, thank you
10:05Thank you
10:06You shower of toilets
10:09The British Empire covers one-sixth of the world's land
10:12The British soldiers are feared around the globe
10:15Do you really think a bit of heat gut-churning is going to stop us?
10:19Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
10:22That might slow down, actually
10:23Bwah!
10:25Get any new uniform?
10:28I just can't believe we're losing this war to these guys
10:30They'll go eventually
10:32They'll have to
10:33They'll run out of underwear
10:34We all know the first rule of pillow fights, pillows only.
10:41But if we're going to defeat my sisters, I'm going to have to get a bit more creative.
10:45So, I've emptied the feathers out of this one and put my mate, Freddy the Frog, inside.
10:50Ratilda's scared of frogs.
10:55Unfortunately, Freddy's scared of Ratilda too.
10:58Come on, she's not that scary.
11:00I guess new weapons for battle are bound to have teething problems.
11:04Just ask this lot.
11:09Sire, I think you'll be impressed.
11:11I've invented a new weapon that will revolutionize hunting.
11:14Oh, exciting.
11:15I started with a small, sharpened piece of bone.
11:18But that is tiny.
11:19We'll never catch a line with this.
11:21Look.
11:22Did that hurt?
11:24Well, a little bit.
11:25No, it didn't.
11:26Okay, but I hadn't finished.
11:27You see, next, I glued it to the end of a piece of wood.
11:30Ah, you're wasting your time.
11:32Look, this is the smallest spear I've ever seen.
11:34He'll never catch a vicious piece with his child's toy.
11:36Look.
11:37Did that hurt?
11:38It hurt quite a lot, actually.
11:40No, again.
11:41What if I said I could hurl this tiny spear a vast distance and hit a target using this?
11:46Interesting.
11:47Let me have a go.
11:49Hmm.
11:50Ah, useless.
11:51This will never catch a leopard.
11:52I wouldn't be so sure.
11:53Watch me, sire.
11:54Ooh, impressive.
11:55So hold it like this.
11:56Right.
11:57Ow!
11:58Sire!
11:59I would have hit the target if he didn't get in the way.
12:00Let me have another go.
12:01I think I'll stand over here.
12:02Okay, this is the one.
12:03Fire.
12:04Oh!
12:05Oh!
12:06Oh!
12:07It's the one.
12:08Fire!
12:09Oh!
12:10Oh!
12:11Oh!
12:12Sire!
12:13I would have hit the target if he didn't get in the way.
12:14Let me have another go.
12:15I think I'll stand over here.
12:16Ah, ah.
12:17Kie, this is the one.
12:19Fire.
12:20Oh!
12:22Oh!
12:23Oh!
12:24It's broken.
12:25Ah!
12:26Try again, but round the other way.
12:27The other way.
12:28Oh, yes.
12:29Oh, okay.
12:30Oh, run away, run away, run away, run away.
12:35Where is it?
12:36Ah, it's here.
12:38I mean the ball round the other way.
12:40Yes.
12:41No, no, no, no, no, I'm getting out of here.
12:48Look, it's bound to take a bit of getting used to it.
12:51A bit.
12:52I'm pretty sure I'm getting the hang of this now.
12:54Please, please, please, please, please, please.
12:58You did it!
13:00Amazing!
13:03You have invented a tool that can fire small spears.
13:06I call it a bow and arrow.
13:09The bow and arrow.
13:11Actually, the other way, but it doesn't matter.
13:17Blue man, blue man, the living toilet who ran from the Middle Ages
13:21With a bucket so that you can have a poop in a private place
13:25Sitting on my bucket with a cape to hide your face
13:28And bum, and when you're done
13:31I won't charge the pending if you did until I want
13:34Blue man!
13:35Oh, nine, nine, nine, nine!
13:41Oh!
13:42Greetings, friend!
13:43Who are you and what are you doing on my U-boat?
13:46I am Lou Man, the living lavatory, and you look like a man who needs the little U-boat's captain's room.
13:54Yes, I do.
13:55Well, then, I would like to apply for the jobies.
13:59We have a toilet. I'm meeting the engineers at our.
14:02Engineer?
14:02Yeah, flashing the boat's toilet is very complex, but only a specially trained person can do it.
14:09I'm intrigued.
14:11It is ready for you, Captain.
14:12Oh, thank goodness.
14:16Oh, there we go.
14:21Tell me, my friend, do you call them the captain's logs?
14:26Sorry, Lou Man, a pleasure to meet a fellow Poo-fessional.
14:30Feel better?
14:31Oh, yes, thank you.
14:34I'd give it fumpf if I were you.
14:36Yes, Captain.
14:36You may flush when ready, Engineer.
14:39I go to.
14:41All right.
14:42All right.
14:43Oh, hello.
14:44Goodness, yeah, my setup's a lot simpler than yours.
14:46If you want me to take it, Bert.
14:48Ah, nein, danke.
14:49Please do not disturb me.
14:51I must turn these levers and valves in exactly the right order, otherwise the seawater will flood into the vessel.
14:59Okay, yeah, cool.
15:01Out of interest, how many buckets' worth of bum blackverse is this baby stored?
15:07Well, actually, this sub does not store its poop.
15:10Instead, we fire turd beetles into the ocean with compressed air.
15:15Love it.
15:17Hello, what's happened?
15:18Has he done a blow, sir?
15:20Oh, no.
15:22I've implemented a wrong sequence.
15:23The toilet is filling up with sea warts and the captain's logs.
15:26Oh, you do call them the captain's logs in.
15:28Captain, the toilet switch has leaked into the ship's batteries, and the sub is filling with poisonous gas.
15:33We must surface an abandoned ship.
15:35Abandon ship!
15:37Code brown!
15:38Abandon ship!
15:39Abandon ship!
15:42Students, the bucket.
15:43Well, Dr. Skinner, we're hoping you've come up with something that will help us to defeat the Nazis.
15:52Gentlemen, I believe I have.
15:54A massive advance in missile accuracy.
15:58Piloted missiles.
16:00Piloted?
16:01Then who would be stupid enough to pilot a missile that was going to explode?
16:06Gentlemen, meet your new pilot.
16:13You want a pigeon to fly the bomb?
16:18Of course not.
16:20I want three pigeons to fly the bomb.
16:23Gentlemen, each pigeon, harnessed inside the missile, has been trained to peck at the target when they see it.
16:30This pecking transmits a signal via the bird's beak, which controls the bomb's tail fins and directs it towards the target.
16:38Oh, nein! You've destroyed my Nazi battleship!
16:41Who'd have suspected a pigeon?
16:44Oh, somebody gives Skinner a promotion!
16:47Are we being pranked?
16:48Do you want us to entrust the war to birds?
16:52These are no ordinary birds, sir.
16:54My pigeons are graduates of the Skinner School of Aviation.
16:58You created a flying school for pigeons.
17:00Well, they're not going to train themselves, are they?
17:03Who is this guy?
17:05Let me show you something.
17:07What are you doing?
17:09A demonstration, sir!
17:10Each pigeon has been trained to ignore the distractions of war.
17:15Ah!
17:16My eyes!
17:17My eyes!
17:19See? It didn't even flinch!
17:21Thank you, Dr. Skinner.
17:22We have heard enough.
17:24I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's a terrible idea.
17:27I'm sure implementing your pigeon plan would have been a real coup.
17:31And I don't want you to get in a flap, but it's time for you and your pigeons to take off.
17:39Hey, where'd that pigeon go?
17:41I told you they were trained to hit enemy targets.
17:47Oh, being in a battle is exhausting.
17:52Thankfully, Mummus has brought me a cheese sandwich to keep me going.
17:55But I think she might be supplying the enemy, too.
17:58Girls!
17:59Sandwiches are ready!
18:01Pick a side, Mummus!
18:03I shouldn't be surprised, though.
18:04Mums have been helping their children in battle throughout history.
18:07Although, I'm glad my mum isn't a Spartan one.
18:11Spartan soldiers are some of the toughest in the world.
18:16The only thing tougher than them...
18:18Come on, you maggots!
18:19...are their mums.
18:21Get up! Sit up!
18:22This is Spartan Mums.
18:25Are you tough enough?
18:27I'm on!
18:29Tell me something.
18:30Do you want to be in the Spartan army?
18:33Yes, Mummy!
18:33Yes, Mummy!
18:34What did you say?
18:35Yes, Mummy!
18:36Drop down and give me 300.
18:37They're good boys, but they need to grow a spine.
18:42I mean, they're Spartans.
18:43They need to learn to be as tough as their mothers.
18:45And believe me, we need to be tough to raise sons as tough as Spartans.
18:49Can I get up now?
18:50Did I say you could speak?
18:52Sorry, Mummy!
18:53I meant to send you pathetic babies out to fight for us.
18:56Do you want to go to battle?
18:58Or will you come running home to your mummy?
19:00No, Mummy.
19:01No, Mummy.
19:02A coward!
19:03I should have left you outside on the hill like your other brother.
19:06What other brother?
19:08Exactly.
19:10What Mummy wants, Mummy gets.
19:13Or you don't.
19:15Attention!
19:16Let me look at you.
19:18Oh, you don't want us to get naked again, do you?
19:20That is the best way to assess your physical fitness.
19:23But no.
19:24Not this time.
19:25Oh, that's a shame.
19:27I've been working on my abs.
19:29Ow.
19:30Yeah.
19:31Shields!
19:34These are your shields.
19:35You carry them into battle.
19:38You return with them or on them.
19:40Oh, like a sledge.
19:41Oh, like a stretcher.
19:43Dead, dummy.
19:45Shame about the sledge.
19:47That sounded fun.
19:48Oh!
19:49Oh, I weed.
19:51I weed.
19:51I'm sorry, Mummy.
19:53No, can't do this.
19:56You are a disgrace!
19:59The three gruelling weeks are over.
20:01This is the end of the beginning of their training, which will last for many years to come.
20:08I want my Mummy!
20:10Mark Adamus!
20:12I know.
20:13Drop will give you 300.
20:15One.
20:16Two.
20:17Two and a half.
20:18Oh, it hurts, Mummy!
20:19Even count me that way.
20:20Dearest Edward, Mummy here.
20:24I do hope this letter finds you well, despite this silly civil war.
20:30Not much to report from here at home.
20:33Apart from missing you and Daddy, of course, I do feel so safe with our own soldiers here
20:39to protect us.
20:40Lady Holly!
20:41Siege!
20:41Siege!
20:42We're under attack!
20:43Carry our positions, men!
20:45We will not let our homeful defend her at all!
20:48Ah, sir!
20:49I do hope you are looking after Daddy.
20:53I'm so proud of you both for defending our Puritan values against the royalist scum!
21:00As some mean people like to call them.
21:03The bells!
21:04The bells!
21:05They're taking the bells!
21:06Not on my watch!
21:07Hit them with everything we've got!
21:09Oh, I've been hit!
21:15Ooh, cake!
21:20I was going to send you a cake to make you think of hope, but...
21:26Eat musket balls, losers!
21:35Ah!
21:36I prefer the cake!
21:37I seem to have run out of cake!
21:42Love and snuggles!
21:44Mummy!
21:46We did it!
21:47We did it!
21:48They're retreating!
21:49Who's the mummy?
21:50It's me!
21:51It's me!
21:52Right, be a laugh and sneak this past the enemy, would you?
21:56Move, move, move!
22:00I don't know how long we can keep this battle going.
22:03I'm exhausted!
22:05Also, we're running out of pillows.
22:07We've only got three left.
22:10We've only got two left.
22:12Luckily, people in history have had all sorts of inventive ways to stop war and find peace.
22:18And one of the more surprising ways is marriage!
22:23That one was my favourite!
22:25They say there is a wafer-thin line between love and hate, so is it any wonder that when two warring rivals look for peace, it is l'amour that shows the way.
22:39Pharaoh Ramesses II is looking for love, or an end to war, one of the two.
22:45Oh, one of the two.
22:46I hope I like her.
22:47Oh, I hope my wives like her as well.
22:50Hey, do people normally bring their wives on dates?
22:53Serious question.
22:54You don't mind, do you?
22:55Yeah, she don't mind.
22:56Yeah, she don't mind.
22:57Okay!
22:58His date is the eldest daughter of the king of the Hittites.
23:04You must be Ramesses II.
23:06My name is...
23:07I don't care what your name is.
23:08I'mma call you Maforna for Ra.
23:11It means she who beholds the falcon.
23:14That is the visible splendour of Ra.
23:18Yeah, right.
23:19I'm with you with names, isn't it?
23:20Is he allowed to do that?
23:22I mean, I know he's a pharaoh and I've heard he can do whatever he likes, but is he literally allowed to change my name?
23:27Things are off to a bad start because while Ramesses is pharaoh of the Upper Nile,
23:31he's on this occasion also king of the utter vile.
23:34Aye, you need some oil babes?
23:36No thanks, babe.
23:37Apologies, my bad.
23:39You need some oil babes.
23:40Huh?
23:41Who's like, no, stop that!
23:43What are you doing?
23:45The oil is there to banish the Neverworld and keep you safe from evil.
23:48You're welcome.
23:49Look, I know that ditch in this state could restart a war between our kingdoms,
23:52but right now, that seems like a price worth paying.
23:54Hey, hey, hey, look, look, look.
23:55We both know that our marriage is just there to keep the peace.
24:00But look, let's just put all of that aside, yeah?
24:03Let's just talk about our hopes and our dreams.
24:08I'd like that.
24:09So how much am I getting, eh?
24:12Think of all peace, think of all peace.
24:14It's called a dowry.
24:15The dad has to give me a load of stuff when I marry her.
24:17Oh, it's a standard thing at regular weddings,
24:20let alone ones being arranged to end a war.
24:22Ain't that right?
24:23I've got bear coins off of these, love.
24:25So I get the gold, yeah?
24:26The silver, the slaves, the horses, the cows.
24:30Is that all?
24:31And me, of course.
24:33Yeah, of course.
24:35How could I forget that?
24:37That's mad.
24:38I'm going to put you down under the horses.
24:40And they say romance is dead.
24:42So do you think you'll see each other again?
24:44Sure.
24:45I mean, we'll have to, innit?
24:47If we don't get married,
24:49then the war between our rival kingdoms may well start up again.
24:53Right, I ain't got no choice.
24:54The words every Brad longs to hear.
24:56Don't worry, babes.
24:57We'll look after you.
24:58There you go.
24:59Wives, let's go.
25:01Just ignore him.
25:05We do.
25:06Yeah, yeah, I'll catch you back at the palace.
25:09You know, I might have to be back next week
25:12because five wives ain't enough, you know what I mean?
25:14Ah, you know what I'm saying?
25:19The dust has settled on our final battle.
25:22We all decided to put aside the pillows of war
25:25and lead a peaceful life.
25:28Because Dad has said if we didn't, he'd sell the telly.
25:31Yes, war is never the answer.
25:34Unless the question is, three-letter word,
25:36beginning with W, English civil what?
25:38Of course, in the English Civil War,
25:41Oliver Cromwell's motto was peace through war.
25:44But my dad says that's nonsense.
25:45And he might be right.
25:47Things didn't work out so well for Cromwell.
25:50Mm-mm-mm.
25:51Civil War!
25:53What was it good for?
25:57Monarchy abolished!
25:59Civil War!
26:03What was it good for?
26:05Royalty demolished!
26:08Once we'd won and Charles lost his head,
26:11we became a commonwealth instead.
26:13My new model army fought for the cause.
26:15I crushed rebellion and rip-hawned laws.
26:18This old parliament became Lord Protector,
26:20like a king but without a crown of scepter.
26:22Protectorate was now what we were called,
26:24with a jolly little motto, peace through war.
26:26Civil War!
26:28Who?
26:29What was it good for?
26:32Monarchy disbanded.
26:35Civil War!
26:37Who?
26:38What was it good for?
26:40Eyepower expanded.
26:43Cut England and Wales, it's twelve little bits.
26:46It didn't work out, had to pull that quits.
26:48Making me king would be the solution,
26:50but I stayed Lord Protector with a new constitution.
26:52Didn't last long, death was my fate.
26:54So son and heir, stepping up to the plate,
26:57it was a tough act to follow the great dictator.
26:59The army forced me out a year later.
27:01Civil War!
27:03Huah!
27:04What was it good for?
27:07Monarchy diminished.
27:10Civil War!
27:12Huh.
27:13What was it good for?
27:15I thought we were finished.
27:18But all the while, I'd been in exile,
27:23banished from my home nation.
27:26Then I got the call, they'd had enough of war,
27:31and so began the restoration.
27:36I'd pardoned crimes from Civil War times,
27:38I'm back, what's not to lie?
27:40Well, they dug me up, cut me up,
27:43and put my head on a spine.
27:44Civil War!
27:47Huah!
27:48Who was it good for?
27:50Don't get me started.
27:54Civil War!
27:56Huah!
27:57Who was it good for?
27:59Right, now where's the party?
28:01Hin'ле!
28:09I love you for this one.
28:13I love you.
28:15Never?
28:18Ah!
28:19Damn it.
28:19Nice.
28:20Happy
28:20Happy
28:21Happy
28:22Happy
28:22Happy
28:23Happy
28:23Happy
28:24Happy
28:24Have
28:24So
28:25Happy
28:25Happy
28:25Happy
28:26Happy
28:26그래
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