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The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In Season 3 Episode 1
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FunTranscript
00:00I
00:26Welcome to the two johnny's late night lock-in
00:30All right
00:33Hi, it's max. Oh what a week of had an absolute nightmare someone back into me car the cat went missing that rashes back and
00:41And I can't find a winning lot of ticket. Oh, how was your week? Great. I won the lotto
00:51Right lads, let's get on with the show our first guest tonight. He's an Irish sporting legend
00:56He won the Grand National on tiger roll tiger roll the horse. Yeah, that explains the pile of shit outside my dressing
01:04Yeah, the horse did it
01:07Give it up for Davey Russell
01:09Oh
01:19This man, he's brilliant, and he's no relation to Davey Russell. It's Russell Kane
01:23Oh
01:31And we'll have music from a man who has the voice of an angel if that angel smoke 20 fags a day. It's the mighty damn the kid
01:38Oh
01:48It's time to find out who's in the bar
01:52Who's in the bar?
01:54Ladies and gentlemen in the bar tonight. We are very honored to have the one and only 20 25 Rose of Tralee Kate and Commons
02:01Welcome to the bar. Thank you very much. Massive congratulations on winning the Rose of Tralee. I mean, it's great to have you
02:16How has life been treating you since you were crowned the Rose?
02:18Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. The experiences I've had so far and the opportunities coming up are just
02:23Exceptional and I'm so so excited for the year ahead. Well, why should we have you here? Will you help us officially open the show? I will, of course
02:29Okay, right
02:33We assume this is what roses of Tralee do. Yes. Yeah, okay, right
02:37So we would like to officially declare this series of the two Johnnies late-night lock-in
02:42Open
02:49Thanks for winning to Caitlin as well. We'll be having a chat with you later. Caitlin, go up to the bar there and get yourself a drink
02:53Ladies and gentlemen, the Rose of Tralee. Caitlin, comments
02:55Okay, who in the audience is ready to meet our first guest?
03:03To find out who our guest is we head over to Seamus the Sheep
03:09Seamus the Sheep always decides to guess so who's it going to be?
03:13It is between Davy Russell a Jack Russell or Mr. Muscle who loves the jobs you hate
03:21All right, who's Seamus going for? I hope it's not the dog. It's going to be an awkward interview. It is of course Davy Russell
03:27Oh, I won't cover anybody!
03:41You want to play the song? Oh, yeah
03:43Davy, welcome to the bar. How are you? Yeah, cool. Yeah, delighted to be here
03:47Cool
03:49It's not my first time
03:51Have you been in this bar before?
03:53Loads of times
03:55Never remember recording though? No
03:57Okay, that's a good thing. Where to even start with you?
03:59I mean you're one of Ireland's best ever sports people
04:0161 Grade 1 winners your three-time Irish Jumper Racing Champion Jockey
04:04Two-time Grand National Winner, Cheltenham Gold Cup Winner and Grand Steeplechase to Paris
04:07Harry
04:09Dave, welcome to the bar
04:11I'm wrecked after naming him. He must have been wrecked after riding him
04:17The horses
04:19Do you know when you
04:21Do you know when you win a big race? Like the Gold Cup
04:25You don't get the Gold Cup
04:27Like when you win a race, what do you get?
04:29I get a miniature one
04:31Version of the trophy
04:33Not the exact trophy, no
04:35It's literally a Gold Cup
04:37A small one? Yeah
04:38And generally after a race like you get a little medal
04:40You won the race, no?
04:41I don't know
04:42Usually you get kind of a bottle of champagne
04:45Or a horse's head
04:47Or a statue
04:49A statue
04:51Not like
04:53A godfather
04:55No, just a little statue
04:57Or a memento to say
04:59Whatever race it was, when it was
05:01Class
05:02Say when you win a big race, you win a Gold Cup
05:04The most amazing thing to us is that like
05:0615-20 minutes later
05:07You're back on another horse
05:08Yeah, it's
05:09It's
05:10It's really fast
05:11It happens
05:12Everything happens
05:13Do you get a chance to celebrate?
05:14No
05:15You're brilliant at your job
05:16Thank you, David
05:17Yeah, of course
05:19But you don't celebrate every show like, do you?
05:21Like, you know what I mean?
05:22You'd be surprised
05:23We don't get over here till Sunday
05:25We don't get over here till Sunday
05:26We celebrate some
05:28Some race
05:29But not immediately after
05:30You have to move on to the next one
05:31Keep going
05:32And was it particularly tough for you?
05:33Because you're tall as jockeys go
05:34Yeah, so I
05:35You were 5'11?
05:365'11
05:37I was 6 foot
05:38Like, in them shoes you are?
05:41Yeah
05:42That's tall for a jockey
05:43Yeah, it was quite tall
05:44Maybe when I started was tall
05:45Not anymore
05:46You know, lads are getting taller
05:47Why is that?
05:48Are horses getting bigger?
05:49No, horses getting taller
05:50How did you keep the weight down though?
05:54Yeah, you're just there
05:55You're just very busy
05:56And you get into a routine then of not eating basically
05:59And sweating
06:00Wow
06:01So you would go in the bat?
06:03Yeah, I prefer the bat
06:05A lot of lads used the sauna
06:06Some lads used to use the sauna
06:08But I loved using the bat
06:09It was
06:10It wasn't sink as much
06:11Like, your eyes would get into the back of your head
06:13And
06:14What did you do in the bat?
06:15Just sit there
06:16Sit there
06:17Sit there
06:18Sit there because you're not able to do much more
06:20I wouldn't advise it to anybody
06:22Like you get a wrinkly
06:23Like I'm actually only 25
06:24You get a wrinkly face
06:29And you get in really bad form
06:32And things like that
06:33But
06:34At least you get the right good horses
06:35Yeah
06:36Nothing else wrinkled at all
06:37We know that you're an incredible crack
06:40Because we've been out together on a few nights out
06:42But like
06:43We know at the same time
06:44You're all ye jockeys
06:45You're all in the same way room
06:46You're all like
06:47Kind of talking out together
06:48For want of a better room
06:49We're literally beside each other
06:50We're all
06:51Can I get spicy in there?
06:52Like can I be
06:53Do you know what I mean?
06:54Like I'll be honest
06:55Like if some lad cut me off now in a corner
06:56He'd be
06:57Yeah there's kind of a code
06:58Right
06:59There'd be a couple of
07:00But really like we're small
07:01Little
07:02Lads
07:03It's kind of
07:04Kind of a mormon
07:06Don't do that again
07:09I'd say
07:10Yeah I'd say
07:11That's what you're like
07:12No yeah
07:13No it can get a bit spicy
07:14But at the end of the day
07:16We all know how dangerous it is
07:17Yeah
07:18We get on it
07:19You know
07:20Finish the end of the day
07:21You move on to the next day
07:22And speaking of that man
07:23You've had somewhat injuries
07:24Yeah
07:25Is there any bone you haven't broken?
07:26I don't know
07:27It's not really a bust
07:28Because that means I fell off a lot
07:30And it's not my job to fall off
07:33Stay on them
07:34But like you've broken
07:35Leg
07:36Hip
07:37Oh legs
07:38Legs
07:39Arms
07:40Fingers
07:41Wrists a lot
07:42My ankles
07:43This okay to my ankle
07:44Twisted
07:45Look down
07:46And my ankles
07:47Face back that way
07:48My neck
07:49And my face
07:50I actually
07:51I had a modelling contract
07:53Before
07:54Sorry
07:56I didn't mean to laugh
07:57Sorry
07:58I was going modelling socks
08:00But er
08:03No my face
08:04That was really
08:05What did you break in your face?
08:06Everything
08:07So
08:08My nose
08:10Separated from my cheekbone
08:11And
08:12Do you know
08:13You can't really see the top of your nose
08:15Do you know what I mean?
08:16But I could
08:17It was right there under my eye
08:20Oh man
08:21And you got back on the horse
08:22Cut back on
08:24Oh my goodness
08:25Awesome
08:26All of
08:28All of
08:29All of these injuries
08:30Right
08:31All of these injuries you've got over the years
08:32They didn't stop you dancing
08:33Oh no I love dancing
08:34Like
08:35There's no stopping you when it comes to the
08:36To the dancing
08:37And you're normally a designated driver on the night out
08:38Because you don't be drinking
08:39Yeah
08:40Yeah
08:41I actually love driving
08:42And er
08:43You get to
08:44You go around to loads of different places
08:45And
08:46I'm always driving
08:47The lads are drinking
08:48And we always end up somewhere funny
08:50Somewhere queer
08:51Something always strange happens
08:52Yeah
08:53Actually there's a friend of mine here tonight
08:54Davy Condon
08:55Is there somewhere
08:56In the crowd
08:57And er
08:58Oh we were
08:59This random night
09:00We ended up
09:01In Tallow
09:02We were living in Cashel
09:03So we were going over the V
09:04Yeah and it's
09:05Bad old roads
09:06Yeah bad old roads
09:07And
09:08Boys had a couple of
09:09Drinks in them
09:10And they had to stop
09:11On top of the V
09:12So there was Martin first and Davy Condon
09:13Were with me
09:14And er
09:15So they were standing up off the edge of the V
09:16Big cliff
09:17You know
09:18Big fish and the two boys were there
09:19And
09:20Davy Condon decided it would be funny to kick Martin Ferris
09:23Off the side
09:24And Martin rolled down the side of the mountain
09:27And er
09:28We were all laughing
09:29And we were saying
09:30Come on Martin it's time to go
09:31He came back up
09:32He was covered
09:33In sheep faeces
09:34He had rolled into a dead sheep
09:37So I'm there with my car and I'm looking and I said Martin there is no way you're getting into this car
09:45Dressed like that
09:47So we stripped him right
09:49Put all his clothes into the boot
09:51Threw away some of them
09:52And he was sitting in the back of the car dark naked
09:54And you know that when you come down off the V
09:57You know the road into care
09:58It's a one way street
09:59Yeah
10:00And we were going the one way
10:01But we were going the wrong way
10:02Down the one way
10:03Down the one way
10:04And er
10:05You couldn't write this
10:06And we were just
10:07So it's a short cut
10:08Like when it's
10:093 o'clock in the morning
10:10There's no one around
10:11We went to shoot down next thing
10:12Blue lights
10:13I'm sitting in the car
10:16And I'm saying to myself
10:17How am I going to explain this
10:19Davy Condon was asleep
10:21Beside me
10:22Martin Ferris was stark naked
10:23In the back of the car
10:24And I rolled down the
10:26Rolled down the window
10:27I was driving a 1978 Toyota Starlet
10:30And
10:31I rolled down the window
10:32And the guard
10:33And I said
10:34Gareth
10:35I promise you
10:36It's not what it seems to me
10:37He looked in the back
10:38Martin Ferris are smiling
10:40No clothes on him
10:42Davy Condon was starting to wake up
10:44And er
10:45The guard said
10:46I actually don't have enough paper
10:48In my notepad
10:49We were wondering
10:52Seeing as you build up a relationship
10:54With the horse
10:55You have to work together as a team
10:56And you ride them
10:57And you win races
10:58Would the horse recognise you?
11:00I doubt it
11:02Well would you recognise the horse?
11:05I would
11:06You would?
11:07Yeah
11:08We'll put this to the test Davy
11:09We've got a little game for you
11:10Here it is
11:11We're calling this game
11:12Maniac 2000 Guineas
11:13OK
11:14Right?
11:15Yeah
11:16She's a lady
11:17I'm a lady
11:18I won't know
11:20If she's dancing
11:21And she's dancing
11:22I'll kiss
11:23You're all
11:23Come on
11:24Come on
11:26Then
11:27Oh
11:28so they're ready to show you some pictures this is the view you would have had when you were riding
11:36these horses winning races did i these horses that i rode yes okay so let's have a look at horse number
11:42one no way no way i didn't ride that horse it's got a double bridle on no way so you did that's
11:52one of yours that's one of yours that's one of yours yeah there's no denying it now i know they
11:59don't all look the same when you see the photos that's funny they don't all look the same from
12:05behind davy right you rode this horse who is it sam crow it's max uh well davy let's find out if you're
12:14right it is sam crow okay davy here's a look at horse number two
12:28now that is that is i would say a harder one very hairy
12:32no i you did they're all we know you did they're all horses you rode right i i i i don't know that
12:45horse no take a guess uh if it's um field or it's not irish point oh good horse yeah
12:55it was my last winner yeah yeah yeah my last winner yeah good horse him uh okay
13:00you can't hear you yeah let's let's let's have a look at one more let's have a look at one more
13:05ah the man himself is it what are you saying what are you saying is that the tiger it is tiger
13:11what is he
13:16what is he good horse
13:18good horse okay all right give it up for the one and only davy russell
13:29davy davy's gonna join us for a game of dayton or related let's uh russell and caitlin you happy to
13:34join us for a game of dayton and related okay so in honor of uh the rosalie being from portly been
13:39from leash we have if you were going on a night out would you go to portlish
13:47he said you would in honor of the rosalie being here and being from leash we have a camera in vibe
13:53bar in market square in portlish and just going off how people look we've got to guess are they dating or
13:59are they related caitlin do you know the vibe bar in portlish i do have you frequented it yeah before
14:07the rosalie i'm sure yeah okay let's go and find a couple let's spin that camera around let's head
14:11around the vibe bar i'm intrigued are they both ginger these two oh my god yeah oh yeah zoom in and then
14:20here we go hello obviously you're live on television with the two johnny's nod your head if you're up for
14:25playing a game
14:29dating or related davy there's only one drink between the two of them
14:37they have to be dead yeah get them two straws please
14:42okay that's what do you reckon dating or related rossler what do you think
14:46they've got to be related surely yeah you've got a siamese pint
14:52okay lads right audience what do you think dating or related
14:56i'll tell you what we'll find out after the break
14:59all right welcome back to the two johnny's late
15:25now before the break we had a camera out in the streets of portlish and we wanted to find out
15:33if this couple were dating or related remember them from before the break here they are what do we
15:37think lads i'll tell you one thing for a lot they haven't drank much out of that point
15:42let's see let's prove if you are dating or related
15:56put your hands together for everybody down in portlish
15:58that's it is time for some incredible stand-up everyone put your hands together for this man one of the uk's
16:11biggest and best comedians it's russell keith
16:23hello hello you all right hello hello thanks for having me this is exciting isn't it proper irish pub
16:39gig i did think it was going to be in a city i didn't realize it was going to be quite so far
16:44out but no that is a good thing i started to hear banjos as i left the airport and there's
16:49now that i'm here i'm glad so normally what's going on in the uk at the moment the younger the audience
16:55is the harder the gig is because young people get offended so easily and triggered by everything
16:59so it's great to be in ireland with a real i shot myself at first but it's country people that want
17:09to have a laugh about shit so i'm glad to be impossible to offend hopefully yeah i'm hoping
17:16uh what is your name claire from guess who what's your name it's what siobhan and no no
17:22siobhan your knickers and no it's uh what's it like here then is people getting offended easily
17:28here it's uh it's back home it's even hard to tell a joke because a joke is about feeling
17:34uncomfortable so i will create this slightly tense atmosphere now uh and uh that is released
17:42through humor so a joke is about feeling awkward but you don't this is a generation that's not been
17:47taught to be uncomfortable and a joke makes you feel like most people where where i'm from over
17:53the age of 35 walked to school from the age of 11 unattended walked fucking unattended even through
17:59stabby inner cities through the countryside but now everyone's driven everywhere because everyone's
18:03scared of pedophiles are going to jump out of bushes only it's not true is it it's not true the world
18:10is a safe place but we're taking away independence from children and therefore they're growing up so
18:14sensitive they have to run to the triggering area to be covered in soy latte and have pronouns etched
18:19into their oh my god i've got a word on me i'm offended my feelings are hurt that's what i'm
18:24fucking dealing with back home i will start in a minute i'm just setting up the atmosphere
18:30no because this is young people so we don't have to have punch like the older people like knolls over
18:33there how about a fucking joke like no this is these people are gen z they have no structure they
18:39can't even afford a deposit on a flat in dung dork they don't want structure they just want just
18:45improvise just list woodland animals badger squirrel he's so post-modern get out my room grandad stop
18:49trying to understand the human there is no structure and you know why did the chicken cross the road who
18:54cares let's welcome it into ireland let's give it a safe space no i'm sick i'm sick of chickens crossing
19:00the road let's give it a space where it can transition into a turkey safely if that's what it wants to be
19:06do you know what's weird because we're in a pub um and you know that there's a rise of
19:11non-drinking amongst this generation that's a good thing i don't miss the image you know of women
19:16like passed outside the kfc with chicken nuggets scattered around their sprawled thighs like a
19:21couple of lads going around them like david like a david atom this one's unconscious sheamus let's take
19:27her back that's obviously a good thing um it's good but there's one other thing that's on the rise
19:34i think it's interesting because the pub is an environment i don't know what it's like here but
19:37back home pubs are closed are they closing here as well they're closing we're losing like the social
19:42this is what's so great about this show is it's bringing to life in a dramatic way the idea of
19:47socializing and gathering and having a lot it's dying gen z you need to get on it again you need to
19:53get out the house put down the ipad we're raising children not to play outside because it's too dangerous
19:59don't let them play outside why what in case they discover exploration independence problem
20:04solving resilience and essential adult skills and ironically leaving them indoors with the ipad
20:10where the paedophiles actually live by the way on the internet so we find ourselves in an environment
20:20i don't have i don't have a set script by the way i'm sorry if it feels disjointed i'm i'm i'm sorry i
20:27just i just i just speak i thought i'd fit right in here just putting my arm on the bar and doing
20:32some storytelling and uh anyway so it's good that you're not you're not drinking but but we're not
20:38connecting either and the other thing is that's on the rise here and i checked the stats for both
20:43countries before i came on celibacy at people age 16 to 25 have stopped shagging there's there's with an
20:50intimacy a recession they're not uh they're not getting together they're not forming relationships then when
20:55they get to sort of 28 30 they're marrying less got declining birth rates am i the only
21:01that can see the obvious link between the decline of drinking alcohol and the rise of celibacy
21:07it's obvious um siobhan and no i don't know how long you've been together
21:1424 years right we don't even need to check right unless you're muslim or a recovering addict no you
21:20were off your tits the first time you got it on with siobhan there is no one there is no there is
21:27no other way there is no there is there is i'm sorry
21:35guaranteed well
21:36well we know well now now that's guaranteed then i know we don't even need to check noel do not
21:48confirm i know for a fact you wouldn't even be here tonight you never would
21:54were it not for alcohol you would not have been created there'd be an empty space there'd be no rose
22:00no i would have had to get to the point where i could see two of you can i smash one of you it would
22:04have been something like that wouldn't it it's bang on thank you that's it put your chips on my
22:10back now well that's it that's it i can feel the vinegar on my chinese tattoo thank you very much good
22:19thank you
22:28it was that good i'm sweating
22:42now ladies and gentlemen it's time for one of the greatest quizzes of all time it's the parish quiz
22:54every week we invite two people on and we test their local knowledge to represent the parish
22:58from the parish place and our first parish up today is nerney in the county of kildare and representing
23:03them is the one and only tyke furlong first of all what a name tyke furlong i mean that must go
23:14down a treat around early does it oh the minute you try to ring someone to say you're not from
23:18half for ireland are you did you be ringing them up now just going yeah i'll collect that who is it
23:23tyke furlong yeah good one do they throw you in that extra to get a few freebies around the town no
23:27and every the minute you walk in and say oh jeez you weren't who i was expecting you're just as
23:33dangerous though tyke i'll tell you uh tyke what do you do for work uh groundworks drive machines and
23:37concrete and all that sort of crap oh it's rough and rearing and tearing and all of bollocks and tipping away
23:45hardship absolute hardship so what's what's your favorite machine then of use like a digger a digger
23:53out of the rain oh i dig her out in the rain but she has i love i love when you talk hardship to me tyke
24:01does everyone in nerney love hardship ah i'd say 95 percent of them
24:06brilliant stuff lads give it up for tyke everyone
24:13our second parish from the county of limerick in and representing khalidi is ashley magner how are you
24:23what's the crack what are you up to i'm great delighted to be here brought the whole pecking
24:30party with me by the time she has a hope he locked the door on the way i would kill you
24:33there could be a serious robberies going on this one
24:37we hope not and what are you doing yourself i work for the limerick lead newspaper in limerick so
24:42very good what's what's in the news these days in limerick everything and everything nothing but
24:46all good now we heard uh you had an interest in the old rose of trillie yourself
24:57what's this what's going on i know we love so we're only about 40 minutes odd from trillie at home
25:01so we go back every year so i recognized a few of the faces when i came in this evening
25:05and i know we love it yeah how do you think caitlin is doing oh she's fab caitlin's a dote
25:08yeah such a good guy great answer rosary answer 100 i feel like that you already
25:16what a cool lady all the lads you ready for tonight though all right keep it up for asking
25:21magner lads okay it's time to play the parish quiz clive we're starting with nerdy here we go
25:30here's your question hi paig jillian here from the shop can you tell us which local farmer sells us
25:36these potatoes now ty that's jillian from the shop no need for first names the shop i like how
25:46i like how you're all in nerdy too much hardship to name the shop it's just a shop uh who produces them
25:53spuds uh john burn john burn okay all right john burn you say let's find out if you're right
26:01all right and the answer is the burns
26:19right asking you ready ready to go okay over to kelly d for your question
26:22hello ashling how are you my name is jim okay and i want to know what title did i get the night
26:34i collected the most money in the ashworth tavern in 1997
26:42what title did that man win by collecting money i'd be extradited if i didn't know the answer to this
26:49jim is the mayor of community yeah he's the mayor because he collected money yes yeah and that was
26:551997 and to this day jim's house is known as the mayor office of kelly d and that is his signature
27:01is jim the mayor of kelly d are you saying a politician bought their way into power i don't
27:07believe it i don't believe it i don't believe it i don't believe it i don't believe it so jim is the mayor
27:13the mayor cleedy let's go back to big jim and find out in 1997 it was the lord mayor of kelly d
27:30right hi ready for more hardship yeah here's your next question
27:36hi tig my question for you what's the name of this burger
27:40it was discontinued because it was too hard to eat
27:44no
27:46thai no better man for a thai i'd say
27:52between you is that your dad it is indeed yes i didn't manage it
27:56now let me tell you what's on the first a quarter pounder patty a chicken fillet donor meat bacon a
28:00fried egg one fresh underring melted cheddar cheese fried onions chopped lettuce layer between five five
28:05burger buns no wonder to discontinue it's still as we're just dropping our own
28:10great time what do you reckon that burger was called that burger was called bog man's burger
28:15the bog man's burger let's find out if you're right tyke and the answer is the bog monster burger
28:22okay we can't give it it's the bog monster not the bog man they've been very
28:31so
28:41this is the parish place
28:43i feel like i'm on the chase
28:45half a pint what does that say above that half what does that say read that sorry i'm not read it
28:54read it what's it say the two johnny's late night locking good woman
28:59what's your own name jessica it doesn't say jessica's late
29:03good woman jessica behave yourself security okay let's go back to khalidi for your next question
29:15hi ashley margaret and mike here we're here in the shop in nahida and margaret has a question for you
29:21ashley what year did my mother open the shop
29:24oh like i think it's the 50s between 53 or 54. go on give it a go 54. 1954. okay let's go back to
29:46dexter's laboratory and find out and the answer is 1953
30:04it's a draw lads which means we need a tiebreaker right can we get davy russell give us a hand with
30:08this type of record davy russell jump in here this this is a tough quiz it is a tough quiz well you
30:17see you're not from those parishes 1953 and 1954 do you know what i mean okay lads so our question is
30:27davy russell champion jockey all his life had to be on top of his weight in order to race
30:32our question is now he's retired what weight is he
30:35what weight would you say to the nearest kg what weight would you say davy he's laying them up and
30:44down
30:44what would you say what would you put on him
30:56i don't know i don't know what that is no money yeah 88 kg actually oh it's pure sat in the deck
31:11i'd say 85 kg okay she's went for a little bit less on 85 well here's the moment the truth
31:16we're back in the way room oh i mean like with or without clothes
31:24we'll be back after the break
31:25i'll live on the clothes
31:27i'll just hop up and she'll work away yeah yeah okay including the boots
31:3588 kg which means tiger's the winner
31:37here is the moment to choose okay in one of these envelopes is an all expenses paid trip to las vegas
31:54now also in there okay is a bag of spuds from the shop
32:05which envelope are you going to take ty what's it going to be in one of them is the trip to vegas
32:08and the others the bag of spuds we're going with this one you're going with that one closest to you okay
32:12tig open her up and let us know dead right bless yourself i'd be fingers crossed you tig
32:17hold it up to the camera what have you got what's it going to be a bag of spuds
32:22that's giving up for tig and athling
32:28now still to come we'll be chatting to russell cain we'll have more from our rosa
32:32tralee caitlin cummins with music to come from dan mccabe and loads more crack put on the kettle we'll see
32:36in a few minutes
32:42i'm tired of going round and round
32:51i played the game my mother lost
32:56they stopped the world and let me off
33:05welcome back to johnny's late night lock-in
33:12how are you lad i'm so excited lad i tell you i've just bought a new house it's amazing i love
33:16absolutely everything about my new house what sort is it i've got a semi yeah i can see that but what
33:20kind of house is it
33:22just semi-detached all right get on with the show come on right lads in the bar tonight is the one and
33:27only rosa tralee give it up for her caitlin cummins is here lads
33:32let's go down let's go down
33:34the rose tralee look
33:36sorry mammy can i scoot you in
33:38i don't know if i need this or
33:40oh thank you thank you very much yeah no that's definitely appropriate yeah
33:43you joined the show so far i am indeed oh my god brilliant night brilliant
33:47okay now a lot of people including myself don't know what the rose tralee actually does
33:51over the year that you had rose so can i just ask have you met daniel o'donnell i have have you
33:57been in the farmer's journal i have did you meet the Taoiseach oh yeah today yeah yeah okay have
34:03you been an attractor run i have have you visited a nursing home in abbey leaks i have have you been
34:07welly throwing yeah have you presented medals in bally ragged i have have you been on the two johnny's
34:13late night locket i have indeed you're the rose tralee now one of the many interesting things about
34:23you is that you must be the first rose tralee ever who is an apprentice electrician yeah do the
34:28people you work with the lads treat you differently now you come back into work on monday as the rose
34:33they couldn't give a shit
34:37oh my god no when i came back to work after the monday after tralee like it was
34:40half an hour questions straight back to work i got my new car i was like oh new car is nice that was
34:45it into it that was it so if you get a call uh been like orders a job at the weekend are you asking is
34:52this a sash job or a cash job probably most more than likely a rose job rose job these days okay okay
35:02very good and we heard that at the ploughing you were doing a bit of judging i was indeed yes what were you
35:07judging i was judging the young irish rural rising stars right and while you've been judged uh did
35:14you enjoy doing the bit of judging oh i did yeah yeah it was great well would you like to do some
35:18more i'd love to okay you're in luck because tonight we are looking for mr lock-in and we need a judge oh
35:24you up for it yep all right i'll hand you over to johnny number one johnny smacks here we go lads welcome
35:30to mr lock-in up here i have three fine gentlemen uh looking to be crowned mr lock-in uh number one what's your
35:36name where are you from simon from navon you're simon from navon okay and you know there's always a
35:41talent around in these things so what is your talent simon from navon i can put my face in my mouth
35:47you you can put your fist in your mouth yeah would we like to see that let's
35:54simon take it away here we go
36:00yes
36:06i would offer to shake your hand but okay i've got number two here with me number two
36:13what's your name where are you from my name is keen and i'm from kill just outside nice keen from kill
36:17okay and what is your talent keen i can do a little bit of fast maths fast maths okay right right there
36:23right this could come in handy what sort of fast maths are we talking about if you go two digit numbers
36:27by two digit numbers i can give you the answer quick enough multiplication kind of yeah all right
36:31okay right have we got have we got some for for keen here let's test them out come out this way
36:34don't be hiding any two digit numbers by two digit numbers you call it
36:37the calculator 26 multiplied by 98 26 by 98 keen
36:42two five four eight john you've got the calculator this is the rt calculator it's all just zero
36:50but i can confirm he is right yeah
36:57okay one more one more one more one more
37:0165 by 89 65 by 89 keen 5 7 8 5
37:07five seconds keep the phone on keep the phone on keep it going give it up for keen
37:19all right we've got number three here what's your name where are you from i'm finn from monaghan
37:23finn from monaghan brilliant thank you good monaghan crowd in tonight they're here they want to see
37:30your talent finn what is it my talent is that i can do a handstand while saying i am cheese in eight
37:35languages right would you like to see it everyone right here it is lads right through the stage right
37:42begin i'll hold the wallet for you thank you of course we will
37:49oh and it's gone
37:53i'm cheese it's mishikash i've been case i've been cash
37:56just we from as you son of fromage i'm soy case so and yes i'm see
38:01those are
38:05mr lockings could be back for another season
38:08caitlin what do you make of that caitlin what do you think impressive but if you
38:12if you say you can do a handstand you're doing it up against the wall you're not really doing a handstand
38:15it can say i'm cheese in eight languages it comes down to this who are you going to crown as mr
38:27lock-in with this amazing sash oh you get one of mine okay here we go it's up to you who is it
38:32going to be it's going to be it's going to be you i think oh quick mass
38:48give it up for your 20 25 mr lock and give it up for all our contestants take a rise
38:55there you go thank you for your fair play
39:01do you know what this show never ceases to amaze me
39:03and lads give it up for the rose it's really kellen cover
39:09now let's find out who our next guest is yes we head over to seamus the sheep who's it
39:14going to be seamus seamus is on the way he's galloping whoa seamus slow down
39:20our mate shane james mclean or russell kane he's going for john mclean i hope it's not john
39:27mclean i think it's russell kane
39:42how are you man all right i'm very very happy with that result yeah very happy you're on fire
39:47i'm glad rain man one there was no way she's going to choose something that could put his fist in
39:52his body no woman's looking for that quite a talent yeah you never know yeah um welcome to ireland
39:58thank you you've been here plenty of times you obviously like ireland yeah i've been here about
40:01four times this year for various things i'm always popping over so i live right next to manchester
40:05airports i can just nick across and have poke around in that okay well i want to try something if i can
40:09yeah do you mind me asking you what age do you think russell is be kind i could get in trouble for
40:14this yeah go on have a guess 30. lads what you reckon 36 30. russell what age are you 50.
40:23yeah how are you doing that 50. you're 50. yeah i just turned 50 in ib i went to ib for my birthday
40:31i know 23 55 we left the hotel for universe i turned legally 50 on the way there straight in the vip
40:37he had it till 6am it was wicked russell we've got a photo of you um now this is either a pizza
40:42or the clown i'm not sure it could be that's straight off your phone he sent you any confidence
40:49john he broke his forearm looking at that no it all looks a bit snug there russell could you not
40:55get a bigger uh hat that was forever it was for a prank and then my wife snapped that off yeah so
41:01now what was about 15 years ago i started to get a bit tired and i thought you know what i like
41:05this age sort of 35 how can i stay here so i experimented with all the normal stuff diet
41:10and exercise went down the shop got my burns potatoes and i really uh i started to think
41:16about what i was eating i trained like a boxer really i was speaking to baby earlier and my life
41:21is like a sports person really because my not tonight i was very relaxed what i was just different
41:25to what i do on stage this is you relaxed it was well i'm normally i do 800 calories on stage it's
41:31really very frenetic very lots of energy and i thought i was just getting unfit so i just got
41:37into how can i optimize my fitness food diet and then i started experimenting with weird and wonderful
41:41supplements working and at first all my friends were like hey what a load of shot you know snake oil
41:46now they're all like they're all old men one's got a stent erectile dysfunction they're fucked
41:50and that comes good fun in the pizza with them i'm still going like a sewing machine in a power surge
41:57as well as training looking after yourself you love animals as well you've written a book yeah
42:01pet selector do you want to tell us about that it's for it's for kids it's for like seven to
42:0511 year olds it's like a cat and dog breed guide for children i went this i was at this publisher's
42:10pitch and they switched the zoom on and i had all these ideas that i thought were clever
42:14my cat was on the my lap now what type of cat is that and i was just being funny like bringing the
42:19breed to life and they went right that so i did it's a bloody bestseller yeah unbelievable
42:23congratulations well so you can match the animal uh the the personality of an animal to what kind
42:34of person they should be with it's not date or relate again with animals is it it kind of is
42:42where's two jack russells we're wondering if you could describe we've got an animal here for you
42:47yeah this is gujon who is a five-year-old golden retriever i mean what kind of person owns a gujon
42:55well the person who should own a golden retriever is someone that likes to walk and someone who's
42:59active because a lot of dogs are rehomed because people get a cockapoo and they live in a flat in
43:03dublin or something so i would think a quite active person that likes walking yeah we've got another
43:08dog for you here yeah uh this is ted hastings who's a four-year-old golden doodle yeah um you know what kind
43:15of a person owns him well that would probably be an old lady or an elderly gay man great we can't
43:22tell you there are two dogs
43:26nailed it well the question is which johnny owns which dog oh who's been doing more walking
43:35it's impossible to tell isn't it golden retriever yeah that's my gujon yeah golden doodle i am of
43:43course he's going to one he's going to one i am of course i'm heaven again now
43:52it's true though like it's on a serious note most of the dogs in the shelters are
43:56rehomed because people can't be asked to walk them and then when i came to ireland when i was when i was
44:01dating this girl they thought it was mental because obviously in london we have all our
44:05animals in the homes they filled me through of guinness in clark and i was out like playing
44:09with a dog in the field it didn't even have a what's its name it doesn't have a name it just works
44:14and i was like petting the cows and shit what's this one called it's 247 he'll be dead on wednesday
44:23just go we'd eat in a fucking sunday rice like that but the grandparents continue to feed you here
44:27don't they i don't know i don't i'm just like i locked myself in the room there's
44:30fucking soda bread coming under the door i'd left with diabetes by the wicked time
44:37did you enjoy the irish pop experience i traveled all around i didn't just stick to the obvious
44:41bits we had all around connemara i did wild camping on inish boffin i went up to the aran isles
44:46i went everywhere man i love this place everywhere you go people are so friendly at first because
44:51you're english it's nerve-wracking because everyone's fucking horrible back home if they're talking to
44:55you they're normally going to steal from you or stab you um so and it's the same gig in here as well
45:00because you'll go on state let's like tonight man no one no one came to this pub to see me but
45:04when you get an irish audience they will always give you the benefit of the tap down they'll give
45:09you the push off even like the me and the miserable old man it's not my cup of tea but you know fair play
45:14whereas the london audience would be like let's see what you got dickhead
45:17yeah i often think i'm nick grimshaw anyway so don't mind right well speaking of being in irish pubs
45:26we've got a camera down in port leash up for another bit of dating or related yeah i love this guy okay
45:32let's head back to the home of dating or related it is leash uh we're in port leash we're in the vibe
45:37bar who do we fancy let's who we going to zoom in on who we going to get that camera in the white
45:41the white one yeah okay davy russell is directing here we go these two are having the right conversation
45:46you know no go back further oh here we go oh don't say aton but nod your head if you're up for
45:53playing a game on the two johnnies yes life okay what do we reckon lads they were very close
46:00kaelin do you know them kaelin doesn't know them they could be outsiders
46:05ross what do you reckon oh expelliolus
46:16i think they do look a little bit alike again they could be i'm gonna i'm gonna get a double down
46:21go related i think they're related to their audience okay they're all saying related well let's prove it
46:27a little bit lads are you dating or are you related we're dating we're dating
46:39lads can you put your hands together for everybody down to port leash
46:45okay i'll tell you what let's calm it down lads we've got a treat we have got an absolute three
46:50feet at home and for everybody in the bar as well i can't wait i've been waiting all night for this
46:54it's time for some music from the wonderful that mccabe
47:04i think about the last few weeks oh we'll see the fame from the skies they have told us who we must
47:28it's the urn of liberty
47:30it's the urn of liberty
47:32it'll all i want in the starry place is the heart you hate me
47:39oh grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment to linger
47:51you'll take me out of the dark and i will dream
47:57with all my love i'll be with all my love i place this wedding ring upon your finger
48:07oh grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment to linger
48:19oh grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment to linger
48:27okay
48:45yeah
48:51We say goodbye
48:57There won't be time to share our love
49:04For we say goodbye
49:21Absolutely unbelievable from Dan McCabe
49:27Nobody does it better in an Irish pub than those Irish lads
49:30Give it up one more time for Dan McCabe
49:35Unfortunately that's all we have time for
49:39Thank you to all our guests, to the Rose of Tralee, Caitlin Cummins, to Dan McCabe, Davey Russell
49:44and he's still in no relation, Russell Cain
49:49Have a great night, we'll see you again
49:51Find yourselves, good luck
49:52Goodnight
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