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00:00.
00:05Rob and I are back.
00:07It looks a bit like you're my guide.
00:10Throwing ourselves into the biggest challenges.
00:13Check, check, check.
00:15With the help of the world's best.
00:17You still own the office.
00:20Together, we're going on a journey of discovery.
00:23No, no, no.
00:25To find out what we like.
00:27Oh, wow, Rob, that's amazing.
00:29And what we don't.
00:31It just feels like it's all going to come out.
00:33This week, we're entering one of the world's most prestigious competitions.
00:37I like this one.
00:38Wildlife Photographer of the Year.
00:40Just giving me an immediate reaction.
00:41Unwrapped with burrito.
00:42We'll be venturing into the depths of the jungle.
00:45This looks like the shittest Indiana Jones reboot of all time.
00:48To find out if we can snap an exhibition-worthy photo.
00:51Say hello to the Wildlife Photographer of the Year.
00:59We'd arrived at the Natural History Museum for the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition.
01:05It's their annual competition, showcasing the best nature photography on the planet.
01:09And the winning images are seen by millions around the world.
01:13It's the long-necked turtle. What a waste of a neck in there.
01:16If I'm having a photo of a long-necked turtle, I want to see the neck out on display.
01:20I really think if you weren't a comedian, you could work at this museum.
01:23Yeah?
01:24Taking Rob Beckett around a wildlife photography exhibition
01:28is like taking one of your small children that's recently had some sort of head injury.
01:33Rob, look at this.
01:34Oh, that's a cute little fella, isn't it?
01:36What was that little Disney film about the mouse?
01:38I want to live in America. I want to live in America.
01:41Um...
01:42What was that little mouse?
01:44Fievel, you're talking about?
01:45I don't know.
01:46Well, first of all, you were singing a song from West Side Story.
01:49OK.
01:50Is there no mice in that?
01:55Thankfully, we weren't just here for Rob's take on the photos.
01:59We were here because of the Natural Artistry winner, Rachel Bigsby.
02:03She challenged us to try our hand at wildlife photography.
02:06Hi, I'm Rachel.
02:07And we were meeting competition judge Roz Kidman-Cox
02:10to chat about Rachel's winning photo.
02:13You can see immediately that it's got drama.
02:16She's managed to choose that arrangement with those gannets getting the black behind the white birds.
02:23With over ten years behind the lens and shots that look more like paintings and photos,
02:27Rachel was the ideal person to get us started.
02:30Now, the key to successful wildlife photography is equipping yourself with the tools and the knowledge.
02:36If you go in blind, you can have really, really good luck.
02:39Why are you looking at me when she said that?
02:41I'm not blind.
02:43Right, sorry.
02:44I carry on Rachel.
02:45I didn't say you up.
02:47No, but you looked across at me and then you completely unbroken eye contact.
02:51And I could see because I'm not blind.
02:53Luckily, it was this eye.
02:54Right, sorry, carry on.
02:55It's OK.
02:56To give yourself the best possible chance, you need to go in thinking of what kind of shot you'd like.
03:00Yeah.
03:01Tell me if I'm wrong.
03:02Is it better to use a long lens zoom or just get nearer?
03:05Well, getting nearer isn't necessarily always going to work.
03:09Unless you've got incredible stealth and understanding, we don't really want to encourage you to get too close to wildlife.
03:14Right, so it's not frowned upon for lensing it up?
03:16No, absolutely lens it up.
03:18But you have got to have a bit of passion.
03:21Yeah.
03:22I'm sorry, you're not coming across as being passionate about it.
03:24It's fair.
03:25OK, you sound a lot like my wife, Rob.
03:27If you don't mind me saying it.
03:29No.
03:30That is just my general energy.
03:31But he's coming across.
03:32I'm sorry.
03:33No, the grass is just in me.
03:34What can I say?
03:35No, it's fine, Roz.
03:36Rachel had challenged us to see if we could cut it as wildlife photographers.
03:41And amazingly, Roz had agreed to put our best photos on display in one of the world's most prestigious exhibitions.
03:48They even reserved us a spot at the Natural History Museum.
03:51The big question, could we actually take a photo good enough to stand alongside the professionals?
03:57What do you think our chances are, genuinely?
04:00Well...
04:01It's not a good start, is it?
04:03Yeah.
04:04How many entrants were there?
04:06Yes, 50,000.
04:07One in 50,000?
04:09Mm.
04:10Do you know what?
04:11I don't mind them odds.
04:13Let's be clear.
04:14Rob and I have never done wildlife photography before.
04:17And now we're entering the world's leading competition.
04:20The standard was insanely high, so we needed all the inspiration we could get.
04:25Okay, what we're gonna do, we're gonna play a little game, alright?
04:27Yeah.
04:28Yeah.
04:29I just want you to look.
04:30Yeah.
04:31Just give me an immediate reaction.
04:32And go.
04:33Unwrap a burrito.
04:35Okay, good.
04:36I think I'm gonna be good at this.
04:38Because really, the camera's doing most of the work.
04:40It's just sort of being there.
04:41Get me a camping chair.
04:43Couple of beers.
04:45Clickety-click-click.
04:46Bang.
04:47I'm up on the wall.
04:49Okay, what's happened here?
04:52What?
04:53Um...
04:54Looks like someone's just come back from Magic Mike after their hender.
04:57I was thinking, what is the worst thing that you could interpret this photo as being?
05:03You beat it by quite a long way.
05:04Yeah, I deleted quite a few other options.
05:06Rob really does have a level of self-belief that massively outweighs his level of ability.
05:14Why wouldn't Rob, after spending ten minutes walking around an exhibition, think that he
05:18could win Wildlife Photographer of the Year?
05:20It's classic Beckett.
05:22Our mission was set, but to give ourselves a fighting chance of taking a photo that might impress Roz,
05:27we needed to find somewhere that was full of wildlife.
05:30And that was gonna take some proper thinking.
05:38A few months later, we had a decision to make.
05:40So, Rob, where are we gonna go to take these photos?
05:43We need to make it easy.
05:44Yes.
05:45You know when they show Simba to the animals in Lion King?
05:47Yes.
05:48That's where we need to go.
05:49Basically, I asked Rachel for some suggestions.
05:50Okay.
05:51And this is what she's come up with.
05:53Pembrokeshire, UK.
05:54Puffins.
05:55Yeah.
05:56Okay.
05:57I'm not going out my way to take a photo of a puffin.
05:59Okay, here's something.
06:00Yeah.
06:01Africa.
06:02That feels a bit like Fiat 500 basic bitch, I've been on a safari.
06:06We need to go deeper.
06:07Well, I don't want to lead you too much, but this is 100% the one I think we should do.
06:12Go on.
06:13The forest, rivers and caves are home to a huge variety of wildlife that provides no end of photographic opportunities, including orangutans, elephants, tigers and rhinos.
06:25In a forest?
06:26The only place on earth to have all of those creatures.
06:29Oh, come on.
06:30Rob Beckett.
06:31Rob Beckett.
06:32That's like the Toys R Us of animals.
06:33All under one roof.
06:34Rob Beckett.
06:35Rob Beckett.
06:36We are going to Sumatra.
06:38Where the fuck is that?
06:40The decision was made.
06:42We were heading 6,000 miles east on a 21 hour journey to Sumatra, Indonesia's largest island, where we'd be starting our trip in the Gunung Lusa National Park.
06:56Sumatra is home to the Gunung Lusa ecosystem, one of the most diverse forests on the planet.
07:02It's the last place on earth where elephants, tigers, rhinos and orangutans all still live together.
07:10So we'd come to get our first proper taste of nature photography.
07:14And our adventure was already off to an unusual start.
07:17Hello.
07:18How are you?
07:19Oh, that's refreshing though.
07:23Woo!
07:28We were travelling by Gunung Lusa's jungle taxi.
07:31Inflatable rafts used to reach remote parts of the park.
07:34We were heading deep into the jungle, where we'd meet our guide.
07:38This is nice.
07:39This feels very magical.
07:41And I just feel like...
07:42This looks like the shittest Indiana Jones reboot of all time.
07:47So what would be the ideal photo for you?
07:49What's your dream photo?
07:50I think an orangutan.
07:51The gentleman in the jungle, whatever he's called.
07:53Do you know what I'd love to get?
07:54Orangutan riding a tiger.
07:56What's your plan going to be with photography?
07:58Are you going to just keep taking photos of everything?
08:00Or, like, try and get the perfect shot?
08:02I approach photography the same way I approach having children.
08:05Spray and pray.
08:06Yeah.
08:10We're the nicest people, look.
08:11It's absolutely deserted here, by the way.
08:13Yeah, real middle of nowhere apart from...
08:15We're not like a fucking universal.
08:16That dim church.
08:17What's going on here?
08:20Where are we?
08:21Where are we?
08:27A little bit more me.
08:28Come on!
08:29Come on!
08:30Come on!
08:31Come on!
08:32Come on!
08:33Come on!
08:38What's the real way?
08:41Pull up! Pull up! Pull up!
08:42It's just good to be just totally alone and just soak in the nature.
08:45Yeah, it just...
08:46I just feel so removed from the rat race, you know?
08:51I didn't know there were rapids.
08:53Oh, okay.
08:55Does this be rough?
08:56Yeah.
08:57Yeah, okay.
08:58Yeah, okay.
08:59Immediate, yes?
09:00I'll just hold on then.
09:01Should we hold on to each other?
09:02No, no.
09:03Hold on.
09:05Oh, Rob.
09:06It's actually...
09:07Jesus!
09:12Oh, my God!
09:13Right.
09:15Those rapids aren't relaxing.
09:17As long as it stays at that level, it'll be all right, I think.
09:19Ass up.
09:22Not seen one bit of wildlife.
09:26And just like that, Rob was up close with some wildlife.
09:29A massive spider.
09:33Fuck, there was a spider on there.
09:34What was that?
09:35What was that?
09:36What was that?
09:37Fuck off.
09:38Oh, get me out of here.
09:40He's here.
09:41Oh, fucking Kim.
09:42Woo!
09:44Oh!
09:45Oh!
09:46Fucking...
09:50Right.
09:52Get me to the shore.
09:53Now!
09:56A first encounter done, now it was time to meet the man who'd help us find the rest.
10:01Dharma Pinem.
10:02Finally you come, Dharma.
10:03A conservationist and local legend.
10:05Nice to meet you.
10:07For over 30 years, he's helped protect the wildlife here and show visitors around the Gunung Loser.
10:13We can find tigers, rhino, elephants.
10:17You may get some of the good shot of the beautiful orangutans.
10:22Yeah.
10:23Yeah, yeah.
10:24Yeah, yeah.
10:25So, let's go.
10:26Welcome to Gunung Loser National Park.
10:29Dharma was taking us to meet multi-award winning photographer, Ule Infansasti.
10:34Hello.
10:35Rob.
10:36Oh, hi, Rob.
10:37Nice to meet you.
10:38Having had images published in Nat Geo and Time magazine.
10:42Oh, wow.
10:44That's amazing.
10:45Today he had agreed to join us on a trek to give us some expert photography advice.
10:50So, all we needed now was for Dharma to find us some wildlife.
10:53That afternoon, we went on our first expedition to a conservation sanctuary in the National Park in search of something special.
11:07Oh, my God, there's elephants.
11:08Look at this.
11:09Wow.
11:10It's amazing.
11:11Your first wildlife.
11:12It was incredible just to be near them, but a full family of elephants, that was something else.
11:18Dharma has reached into his very deep shorts pockets, pulled out a couple of elephants.
11:23It's unbelievable.
11:25He's gone so big early tours.
11:27It's insane.
11:28Day two, he's probably going to be a unicorn.
11:31They're the largest animal roaming the island, and being sanctuary elephants, comfortable enough with people,
11:37if we couldn't get a photo here, we were in serious trouble.
11:40Ulet was on hand to help us get our heads around the kit.
11:43This is a zoom.
11:45Oh, okay.
11:46And then zoom out.
11:47And give us some tips on how to take a good photo.
11:49The important thing is the patience.
11:51Patience?
11:52Yeah.
11:53So you communicate with them.
11:55So you can talk to the animals.
11:56Yeah, it's like in your heart.
11:57But Rob was taking talking to the elephants a bit too literally.
12:00Come here, Dumbo.
12:02Look at me, baby.
12:03Oh, there you go.
12:04Give me more of that.
12:06As the elephants made their way into the rainforest,
12:08we were given the all-clear to follow them for a chance to capture something unique.
12:12Well, I've got one photo that looks all right, but I don't know if it's a good one or if it's just weird.
12:16Oh, baby.
12:17Oh, he's baby.
12:18The daughter.
12:19Milk.
12:20So you can see it actually having a bang on it.
12:21I've just found an elephant sucking on its mum's tear and I've took a photo.
12:25Is that allowed?
12:27Who knows?
12:28Yeah.
12:29As we continued to follow the elephants, it became clear there was a problem staying on their tail.
12:35You know, suddenly I've got a lot of photos of their behind.
12:37Yeah.
12:39If there's an exhibition just on their genitals, I think I've got it covered.
12:43What I would say is, what Rob and I capture today is what I would call elephant-only fans.
12:48There's a lot of arse and genitals, not a lot of face, which is what people pay for.
12:52I've been told I haven't got an account.
12:54After following the elephants for half an hour, we barely had a decent picture between us.
12:59But as the herd headed for a cool-down, we had no excuse not to get an exhibition-worthy photo.
13:07Oolet said, I said it for you, it's going to be so easy.
13:10And then we took some photos of the elephants and looked at what Oolet was getting and what we were getting.
13:15Oh, wow!
13:17That was so much better than mine.
13:19My photo looked like somebody using a camera for the first time.
13:23His photo looked like the story of the elephant in one image.
13:28The truth is, Rob and I don't know how to take photos.
13:31Oh, shit, I've missed the good stuff.
13:34So we've come to the wildlife, but we can't capture it.
13:38Ooh!
13:39Is there a really strong argument that we should have practiced with the camera equipment in the UK?
13:42Yeah, absolutely.
13:44I don't shit at photos.
13:45Absolutely.
13:46Have we wasted a day in Indonesia?
13:47Certainly.
13:48It's just so massive and like...
13:49I mean, we're on day one.
13:50It's the biggest 180 from when we were at the actual museum.
13:53Yeah, and you know what? I was wrong. Hands up.
13:56It's a nightmare. I don't know how they do it, these wildlife photographers.
14:03Rob and I are trying to take a photo worthy of Wildlife Photographer of the Year.
14:07What do you think our chances are? I don't even know.
14:10Well...
14:11Not a good start, is it?
14:12No.
14:14With a space waiting for us on the wall of the Natural History Museum that would be seen by millions, the pressure was on.
14:20So we travelled to Sumatra to give ourselves a fighting chance.
14:29Oh, my God, there's elephants!
14:31But so far, all we got...
14:32Come here, Dumbo.
14:34...was an elephant's backside.
14:35I am shit at photos.
14:38Determined to do better, the next morning we headed downriver to meet Dharma in search of something a little more inspiring.
14:45When we were in London, looking around the exhibition, you were quite confident and cocky and sort of annoying.
14:55How confident are you feeling now?
14:57I feel like I'm going to be far too stressed about dying to focus on taking a photo.
15:03Yeah.
15:04If I emigrated and lived here...
15:05Yeah, I'd love it, first of all. Let me tell you that.
15:07I'd be dead in a week.
15:09I think that is so optimistic.
15:12But you think you'd last a week at it on your own without Dharma?
15:16It's so awesome.
15:17I'd give you 90 minutes.
15:20Fortunately for me, then, we did have Dharma.
15:23Yes, Dharma.
15:24And after yesterday's elephant trek,
15:26Rob and I were looking forward to another day of breathtaking wildlife.
15:30Are you good?
15:31Good, good.
15:32She's still alive.
15:33Still breathing.
15:34Yeah, still.
15:35So, all right.
15:36Today will be our first proper explorations to the Batcave.
15:44The Batcave?
15:45Yeah.
15:46It's a cave.
15:47And it smells bad.
15:48Smells bad?
15:49Yeah, because bat poo.
15:51Oh, yeah.
15:52No, bat poo.
15:53Bat poo.
15:54All right.
15:55Spiders?
15:56Spiders could be not.
15:57Could be not.
15:58Could be not.
15:59Could be not?
16:00Could be not.
16:01Because anywhere, you are in the rainforest area, but there is some possibility.
16:05Okay.
16:06Okay.
16:07Hopefully, you can get good shot with your camera.
16:10Yeah.
16:11And you need this, because cave usually dark.
16:13Usually?
16:14Usually dark.
16:15Yes, Dharma.
16:16Okay, let's go.
16:17Are you wearing that?
16:18Yeah, I'm fine.
16:19I'm good with that.
16:20Okay, let's go.
16:21Let's go, Dharma.
16:26What an opportunity.
16:27The main issue is everything that's involved I hate.
16:31Oh, no.
16:32Fucking hell.
16:34So, cave, no thank you.
16:36Bats, no thank you.
16:37Spiders, go fuck yourself.
16:39We're not even in the bloody cave yet.
16:41Us going into that bat cave is like taking two virgins into an orgy.
16:46Neither of us have a clue what we're doing.
16:49There's gonna be some screaming.
16:51A lot of, uh, what is that?
16:54And then some, I don't think I want to do this anymore.
16:58Can I torch on?
16:59Uh, no.
17:00Oh, for fuck's sake.
17:01Come here.
17:02You'll need that.
17:03There you go.
17:04Oh my God, it's a cave.
17:05That's the wrong one.
17:06You've got the red on.
17:07Look like the police.
17:08Oh my God, it's a cave?
17:09Yeah.
17:10All right then, we move deeper to the cave.
17:11Deeper.
17:12Yeah.
17:13All right then, we move deeper to the cave.
17:15Deeper.
17:18The cave was formed of three large chambers that go deeper to the Gunung Lusa rainforest.
17:23Dharma was taking us to the bats, which, unfortunately for us, was in the third and final chamber,
17:29almost a kilometre deep underground.
17:33Oh, this is horrible.
17:35Dharma, don't take us too near anything that moves, yeah?
17:37Yeah.
17:38So there's gonna be lots of insects here?
17:40Uh, yeah.
17:41Oh, God.
17:43Look at that.
17:45Rob.
17:46Rob.
17:47Yeah, Rob, you're gonna have a look.
17:48Yeah, me.
17:49Why me?
17:50Go have a look, Rob.
17:51Spider.
17:52I'll leave it out.
17:53Dharma.
17:54What kind of spider?
17:55What spider is it?
17:56A friendly one.
17:57A friendly one?
17:58How do you know?
17:59Where is it?
18:00Oh my God, you big bastard.
18:01What is that?
18:02A spider.
18:03Yeah, I know.
18:04What type?
18:05I think that's as far as it goes.
18:06Right, okay.
18:07That's all we've got.
18:08Let's go.
18:09Let's go.
18:10This one.
18:11Rob.
18:12Sorry.
18:13I didn't realize I was gonna run up like that.
18:14Right, okay.
18:15Ah!
18:16Oh!
18:17Rob.
18:18Sorry.
18:19Sorry.
18:20Sorry, something just dripped on me.
18:21Water drip.
18:22Water drip from the top.
18:23Okay.
18:24It's a water.
18:25Sorry, I'm looking at a spider and something lands on my shoulder.
18:27You can forgive me for shitting myself.
18:29Yeah.
18:30Yeah.
18:31But just don't shit yourself near me.
18:32The spider was our first opportunity to snap some wildlife.
18:37But as we took out our cameras, that was when we realized that this time our photography skills
18:42weren't going to be the only problem.
18:44Oh, my God.
18:45Why are we going in the dark to take a photo?
18:46We're struggling with the light.
18:47Okay, ready?
18:48Once you do see something, you can't take the photo with the light on because it gets blown
18:56out.
18:57So this is what you do, you have your head torch, right, you press the button halfway
19:01focus and snap.
19:03Put the light on the thing, half focus and snap.
19:07What kind of photography requires you to look away as you take the fucking photo?
19:13It had been a terrifying start and now Dharma was taking us deeper into the caves in search
19:19of bats.
19:20Oh, that's adorable.
19:22It's better not to look at the walls, isn't it?
19:24Because you won't see stuff.
19:26And as we headed further in, it was no longer just the fear of the wildlife that was worrying
19:30us.
19:31Fucking hell, Dharma.
19:33Are you winding me up?
19:35This is awful.
19:37For two middle-aged men, scrambling through tiny gaps and jagged rocks was becoming a much
19:42bigger problem.
19:44Oh, bloody hell, fuck.
19:47I've got a little, like, health tracker.
19:49It just told me I was playing far the side.
19:52It was tough going.
19:54Oh, my God.
19:55You all right?
19:57Yeah, I'm at Isha's card.
19:59And as we left the first chamber for the next...
20:01Right.
20:02It's sucking up and it's like climbing a mini mountain.
20:05Thankfully, Dharma was on hand to help us get through it.
20:09Calm.
20:10Yeah.
20:11Slow.
20:12Curly.
20:13Be good.
20:14What's embarrassing is me and Romish have got all the gear on and Dharma's jumping about
20:18in a pair of flip-flops.
20:19But then I suppose he's used to it.
20:21He's grown up here, hasn't he?
20:23Stick him on a tube.
20:25Tell him to get from Waterloo to Finsbury Park.
20:28You know what I mean?
20:29We've all got our own habitat.
20:34But all our hard work was paying off.
20:37As after nearly an hour of dragging our sad bodies through bat hoop-covered rocks,
20:42we were finally entering the bat chamber.
20:45Oh, my God.
20:46Look at that.
21:00It's 40 minutes of slipping and tripping up and going,
21:05and thinking of your wife and children.
21:07And at the end of it are 30 of the most hideous fucking creatures I've ever seen in my life.
21:1431 for us with Rob.
21:18It had been a mission just to get there.
21:20But once we did, we only had one strategy.
21:23Spray and pray, baby.
21:25Okay, come and look at me, you little bat bastard.
21:29We took hundreds of photos as quickly as we could.
21:32And compared to the spider, we were getting better in the dark.
21:36Oh, I've got some good ones there.
21:37But compared to the professionals, we were still nowhere near their level.
21:42So, let's go.
21:43So, is it this way back out as well?
21:45Yeah.
21:46Fucking hell.
21:53So, how was it for you?
21:54Well, we did get some photos of those disgusting little upside-down rats.
21:58But, yeah, I don't...
22:00It's very tiring.
22:02Very hot in there, wasn't it?
22:04It was very hot, yeah.
22:05It was 97% humid.
22:07Is that right?
22:08I don't know what that means.
22:09Humidity.
22:10Well, 100% humidity is the sea.
22:12So, you're underwater.
22:13But we were 97% of the way there.
22:15We're not 3% away from being in the sea.
22:16Well, I don't know how it works, but 100% humidity must be water.
22:19Look.
22:20I wasn't in the cave.
22:21When you're in the cave, you can't go...
22:23If there was 3% more water in here, we'd be in the sea.
22:25Well, get me 3% more and we'll check.
22:27I am wet, though.
22:28Me too.
22:29I'm half seal.
22:30I'll tell you what is 97% humidity.
22:32My gooch.
22:33Oh, my anus is pure water.
22:34That's 103.
22:36Anyway.
22:37I...
22:38My skin is disgusting.
22:39I think I might have lost weight, though.
22:40Mm.
22:41I feel like we're on Celebrity Fat Club.
22:43I don't know.
22:44Make the fat ones go tunnelling through cave holes
22:46that can't fit through while a little fella with flip-flops
22:48flies through.
22:57It was hard.
22:58But it's one of those...
23:00I would describe it as one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences.
23:02And by once-in-a-lifetime, I mean I'm never fucking doing it again.
23:05Ever.
23:08Hi.
23:09Hi.
23:10Hi.
23:11You're welcome.
23:14This can't be real.
23:15This cannot be real.
23:19Brilliant.
23:20Do you know what?
23:21It's the perfect end to today.
23:25About two hours getting no decent photos, bring on the thunderstorm.
23:29Please.
23:30Rob and I are deep into our second day in Sumatra, and we still didn't have an exhibition-worthy
23:42photo. So with time running out, Dharma had arranged for us to go on a night-time photography
23:47mission. But given the weather, it was the last thing we wanted to do.
23:52Well, the conditions are sheer. They are like, do you know what these conditions are like
23:56when that guy tried to steal the embryos in Jurassic Park?
24:00And that thing sprayed the stuff in his face. I'm half-expected to see a goat on a string,
24:06and then I look again and it's disappeared.
24:11We were on the edge of the rainforest to try something called night herping. Basically
24:16going out into the jungle to find snakes and amphibians that we could try to photograph.
24:22Everything was against us, but Dharma told us not to worry as he had brought along some
24:26help. I asked my best friend to lead you on the night track.
24:32assisting us on this hellish walk was Dharma's friend, Ipau, a snake expert.
24:37Ipau, are any of the snakes poisonous?
24:39Number one is King Cobra. King Cobra? There's King Cobra here?
24:42Yeah, I can bite you.
24:43Have you ever been bitten?
24:44Yeah, I can bite. I'm already bite King Cobra.
24:45You've been bitten by King Cobra?
24:47No, of course. Look at this.
24:48Fucking hell.
24:49Oh, my God.
24:50Yeah, and they've got them here, right?
24:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:52Yeah, yeah, cool.
24:53Now, I can bring to you looking for snake and knife.
24:55Okay.
24:56Are you okay on that?
24:57That sounds good, man.
24:58That sounds great, man.
24:59That sounds great, man.
25:00I wish we'd asked that question after the walk, but cool, let's do it.
25:04Okay, okay.
25:05Let's find some.
25:06Let's go.
25:07Let's go.
25:08There's fucking King Cobras here.
25:10You know King Cobra?
25:11There could be one right round here.
25:15There's deadly shit out here.
25:17Oh, come in.
25:19Come in.
25:20I see this one snake.
25:21I see this one snake there.
25:22Where?
25:23There, there.
25:24Brown back.
25:25You see?
25:26Oh, yeah.
25:27Is that poisonous?
25:28This is not strong.
25:29When I touch the snake, it's changing colour.
25:31Nah, I'm all right with that colour, to be honest.
25:33Yeah.
25:34Ippal.
25:35Now, Ippal, great guy.
25:36Would I put me and him together?
25:37Absolutely not.
25:38If I arrived on a stag do with someone I didn't know that well when Ippal was there,
25:41he'd probably be the last person I ended up chatting with.
25:43I love this snake.
25:44It's very good.
25:46I love this.
25:47You see?
25:48Also, surely, you've got to stick on a pair of boots and long sleeves for herping.
25:53I mean, I don't even go out in odd flip-flops to do the bins.
25:56He's sliding about, picking up Cobras.
25:58No wonder it bit him.
25:59Oh, the greedy one.
26:00Oh, yeah.
26:01This viper.
26:02Little viper bastard.
26:03Yeah.
26:04Ah.
26:05But this one, when I bet you, coma, two week.
26:08Two week coma?
26:09Yeah.
26:10Two week?
26:11Yeah.
26:12Wow, man.
26:13Shall we move on, then?
26:14Yeah.
26:15I do think this is rock bottom.
26:16I thought the Batcave was bad.
26:17But as we were going through the jungle, I was thinking nostalgically about the Batcave.
26:22And that became sort of my happy place in my head.
26:25As I walked through the jungle and Ipple pointed out another really poisonous snake.
26:30But it's good colour.
26:31It's a great colour.
26:32Good colour.
26:33Good coma colour.
26:34At one point in there, I thought I might as well get bit.
26:36At least I don't get to leave.
26:37I'm just going to put my arm out in front of him.
26:40If I have a bang on that mate, I'll get two weeks in hospital.
26:43Be easier than this.
26:45It is a low point when you're wishing for a coma.
26:50But despite the thunder, the lightning, and the snakes that put you in comas, best friends
26:55Ipple and Dahmer were still in high spirits.
26:58Look at this.
26:59Dancing insects?
27:00Dancing insects.
27:01And, almost unbelievably, their enthusiasm was starting to rub off on us.
27:06Ipple, this is such good herping, man.
27:08Yeah, yeah.
27:09We're doing some good herping, bro.
27:10This is great, isn't it?
27:11You know why I think Dahmer, he'd be a great tour guide in Ibiza.
27:15Like, he is just like, he's just got this mad vibe.
27:18Oh, cat, cat, cat.
27:20It's going to be crazy, man.
27:22And then he shows his best friend, and his best friend, they've both been taking the same thing.
27:27Both absolutely off their tits on herp, and they want you to join them.
27:30Things are on the up, and what made it even better...
27:33Look, look here.
27:34Oh, that's a good one.
27:36We were starting to find some less deadly wildlife.
27:39Hey, prog, prog, come in.
27:41Prog, prog, prog.
27:42So now we can get close enough to bag some half-decent photos.
27:46Don't say that.
27:48That's good herp.
27:50Great night.
27:51Five stars trip advisor.
27:53Get your herp on.
27:55It's a good night herping, eh?
27:57Yeah, great herping.
27:58Yeah.
27:59Some of the best herping I've ever done.
28:00Yeah, yeah.
28:01Dahmer is, like, in the data.
28:03Sorry, it's just a lightning, so it's lightning again.
28:05It's a bit of lightning, so I got slightly distracted by the lightning.
28:08The herping had been a success, and after our second day in the jungle, we now had at least one photo we were proud of.
28:17So what did you make of herping?
28:19Erm, I'd say, when I was in the middle of that jungle, the worst place I've ever been in the world.
28:25And I've done night buses through Peckham.
28:27Yeah.
28:28But as herping goes, five stars.
28:29I suspect I'd prefer it not in a thunderstorm.
28:31What I did like, though, was meeting, erm, Dahmer's best friend.
28:34That was sweet, wasn't it?
28:35Yeah, really sweet.
28:36He was my best friend.
28:37Just imagine them just coming out here at one in the morning.
28:38It's a quick herp.
28:39Fancy a bit of herping.
28:40You see the bite on his arm?
28:41Yeah.
28:42Jesus Christ.
28:43I don't think, if I was recommending them as a tour guide, if I was giving them some advice, I'd say, don't open with the King Cobra stuff.
28:49He was wearing odd flip-flops as well.
28:50Did you see that?
28:51Yeah.
28:52I mean, listen, the fact they were odd wasn't the big concern.
28:54Flip-flops.
28:55How's he wearing flip-flops?
28:56Absolutely wild.
28:57I wasn't thinking, get there matching, mate.
28:59I was thinking, get some fucking boots on, you lunatic.
29:01At 6am tomorrow, have another herp?
29:02Yeah, absolutely.
29:03Yeah, let's go.
29:04Let's go.
29:05Let's herp.
29:06Ipple's still out there, by the way.
29:07Is he?
29:08He's taken one of his sliders off just to be sassy.
29:13Rob and I are attempting to take a photo for Wildlife Photographer of the Year.
29:17If it's good enough, it'll be displayed here.
29:20Absolutely.
29:21If it's good enough, yeah.
29:22Competition judge Roz Kidman Cox had even reserved us a space in an exhibition seen by millions.
29:31After two days in Sumatra, surrounded by wildlife, all we had to offer was the underside of a frog.
29:37But from day one, Rob had his heart set on something else.
29:41What's your dream photo?
29:42I think an orangutan.
29:43The gentleman of the jungle, whatever he's called.
29:45So today, our guide Dharma was leading us deep into Gunung Lusa, in search of the king of the swingers.
29:51I'm excited because he reckons we're going to see orangutans.
29:55That's the shot we want.
29:56But first, we were meeting back up with photography expert, Ule.
30:00Good. How are you?
30:01Yeah, good.
30:03He was loading us up with all the tech.
30:04You want to open it?
30:05Yeah.
30:06So if we did find an orangutan, we couldn't miss.
30:09Oh, God.
30:10Oh, fuck off.
30:11You're taking a fist?
30:12Yes.
30:13That's mental.
30:14What the...
30:15This is not...
30:16This can't be...
30:18Yeah.
30:19This is the...
30:20The super tele.
30:21Yeah.
30:22It's a tele-zoom.
30:23This is 600 millimetres.
30:24Yeah.
30:25And then...
30:26Yeah.
30:27So that goes in that?
30:28Uh-huh.
30:29Then you have a little poke about in the woods?
30:30You might as well have stayed in England and taken them from there.
30:32So that goes round your neck?
30:33Jesus Christ.
30:34You can't wander around like that.
30:36That is...
30:37Ule, that's...
30:38That's not real.
30:39That's real.
30:40Do you reckon they'll see me coming?
30:42It was our last shot.
30:47One last trip with Dharma and it wasn't going to be easy because we were looking for a critically endangered species.
30:53With only a few thousand Sumatran orangutans left, spread across thousands of miles of jungle, the odds weren't in our favour.
31:00Today is everything.
31:02Everything.
31:03I don't want to overstate it.
31:05The success of the trip rests on what happens in this jungle today.
31:09If we don't find an orangutan today, this has been a massive fucking waste of time.
31:13We had a long day ahead, but Dharma's 30 years of experience in the rainforest and his work with the Sumatran orangutan society would hopefully deliver us a competition-worthy photo.
31:24Sometimes, with the orangutan, we can communicate.
31:29Really?
31:30How can you?
31:31Yeah.
31:32For the male, we call that long calls, to telling the single female I am here.
31:39Right.
31:40And the sounds look like...
31:41Whoop!
31:42Whoop!
31:43Whoop!
31:44Like that, which is...
31:45Whoop!
31:46Yeah!
31:47Whoop!
31:48Whoop!
31:49And it can hear about, what, two kilometres away.
31:51Yeah.
31:52Whoop!
31:53Whoop!
31:54Whoop!
31:55Whoop!
31:56Whoop!
31:57Whoop!
31:58Whoop!
31:59Whoop!
32:00Whoop!
32:01Whoop!
32:02Whoop!
32:03Whoop!
32:04Whoop!
32:05That's Lisa coming.
32:06Yeah.
32:07It worked.
32:08You're saying that Lisa's an orangutan that's responding to a mating call?
32:11No, I'm saying she's responding to your mating call.
32:14Dharma was a fountain of jungle knowledge.
32:17Rob was saying what he saw.
32:19Big old bastard tree, that, innit?
32:21What's this tree, Dharma?
32:23Er...
32:24This is other type of, er...
32:25Old rocket.
32:26You love that one, didn't you?
32:30Look at the RFOL.
32:32You're gonna use that on your next door.
32:34Yeah.
32:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:40Three hours into our trek, we hadn't taken a single photo.
32:43It was boiling, and we were struggling.
32:46I could have been up in my life.
32:48I feel like I'm then boiling a bag of turkeys.
32:50We'd covered over eight kilometres, but it was hard going.
32:53Oh, God.
32:54Oh, you all right?
32:55Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
32:57Even armed with our mating calls...
32:59Whoop!
33:00Whoop!
33:01Whoop!
33:02Whoop!
33:03We still hadn't seen an orangutan.
33:04Whoop!
33:05And I was starting to give up hope.
33:07Oh, God.
33:08Never ends, is it?
33:09How big is this jungle?
33:11One million hectares.
33:12So many hectares.
33:13We could afford to lose a bit.
33:15Well, no, no.
33:16We want to keep it for the old rentals.
33:17No, just kidding.
33:18Just a bit of environmental banter.
33:19The hours of walking were starting to get to Rob.
33:22So, are we gonna see a natural orangutan today, do you think?
33:25Cross the finger.
33:26I like Dharma.
33:27I think he's a great guy.
33:29He is difficult to read in that he's incredibly positive about everything.
33:33So, it's highly likely at the end of the day, he'll just go,
33:36We didn't find any orangutans.
33:38And then we'll just have to live with it.
33:39And then I assume Rob will pummel him to death.
33:43Shit.
33:44What's just that?
33:46Yeah, well...
33:47We'd been on our feet for hours, and still no sign of an orangutan.
33:51The day was getting on, and soon we'd have to start heading back.
33:56But then...
33:59Look at that!
34:00Wow!
34:02Man!
34:03He's looking at you, Rob.
34:04Oh, my God.
34:05Look at that!
34:06Look at that!
34:07Do we do the noise?
34:08Do we see the noise?
34:09No, no, no, no, no.
34:10I'm not here.
34:11I'm not here.
34:12Oh, my God.
34:13After a long and hot four hours of searching, we'd finally found a female orangutan.
34:18Right, let's get the cameras out.
34:19Camera!
34:20I'll get yours out, you get mine out, okay?
34:22Okay.
34:23But this was the first time we used our massive telephoto lens, and they handled like scaffolding
34:28poles.
34:29It's almost ready to hold up.
34:30Oh, God.
34:31Is it coming down?
34:32This was the moment we'd been waiting for, and we were making a mess of it.
34:36Why does it keep moving, the bastard?
34:38It's as well, are this?
34:40Can I have it?
34:41I've got the back of it.
34:44And just like that, she disappeared.
34:46Gone.
34:47Gone, sir.
34:48Shall we chase it?
34:49No.
34:50No, okay.
34:51It's a good decision.
34:52Yeah.
34:53You are so lucky, man.
34:55Yeah?
34:56You are.
34:57I don't think you'll think that when you see the photos.
34:59Look, I've got that.
35:00Dharma delivered the moment, but we've completely failed to photograph it.
35:07I literally cannot believe this just happened.
35:09I mean, as soon as she saw our camera, she moved.
35:11All we had to do was take the shot, and we couldn't deliver.
35:14No.
35:15We've done a nearly 20-hour flight, four or five-hour trek.
35:18Yeah.
35:19You've found us in orangutan, and between us at one photo.
35:21Is there one chained up anywhere?
35:23I've got one in the group, though.
35:26It's difficult to say, but it was a massive cock-up.
35:30As soon as we got the cameras out, it moved like it didn't want to be on sky.
35:34It was just like, do you know what? I'm only going to do terrestrial.
35:37Yeah, I've got nothing here.
35:38It's going to find out, bro.
35:40It's... I can't believe...
35:42I've got absolutely fuck off.
35:44Yeah.
35:45It's like there.
35:47I've got the same camera they used to shoot Jupiter.
35:50Right, Dharma, thank you very much. That was amazing.
35:52You delivered. Thank you so much.
35:54This is your lap.
35:55Is it just back the four hours we came?
35:57Yep.
35:58Great.
35:59Okay, cool.
36:00Off we go.
36:01We had four hours of walking ahead.
36:03Just enough time to reflect on how badly it had gone.
36:06I don't even know if I can talk to Lisa and the kids about it.
36:09Dad's back.
36:10Oh, my God.
36:11Show us the photo of the orangutans.
36:13I haven't got any, son.
36:15But...
36:16But you saw them, didn't you?
36:17Yeah.
36:18You said it was really close, yeah?
36:20So, did you get a photo?
36:22No.
36:23No.
36:24What's the matter, Dad?
36:25Did you not have a good camera?
36:26I had the best son.
36:29Was it a rubbish lens?
36:30It was the biggest lens you could get.
36:32But you still didn't get a photo?
36:33No.
36:34Why?
36:35Because your dad's shit.
36:38I hate you, Dad.
36:39I hate me too, son.
36:43What?
36:44What was it?
36:45I don't have a run at that.
36:47Oh, my God.
36:48Look at that, Rob.
36:49That's amazing.
36:50Oh, yeah.
36:51Yeah.
36:52It's a good spot.
36:53Oh, that's amazing.
36:57I'm getting a leaf.
36:59Where is it?
37:00Where's it gone?
37:01Oh, for fuck's sake.
37:02It's there.
37:03It's so heavy.
37:07She's a hungry girl.
37:09Lunch time.
37:10This time, we were better prepared.
37:12And I had a good feeling about some of my photos.
37:15You're a legend, Dharma.
37:16Well, congratulations.
37:17You've done it.
37:18Dharma, thank you, bro.
37:19Congratulations.
37:20This is amazing.
37:21The hours of struggling through the forest suddenly felt like nothing.
37:25If this was what wildlife photography is all about, I was into it.
37:30What was it?
37:31Oh, no, no, no.
37:32Oh, no, no.
37:33Oh, no, no.
37:34Oh, no, no.
37:35Oh, no, no.
37:36Oh, no, no.
37:37Oh, no, no.
37:38Oh, no, no.
37:39Oh, no, no.
37:40Oh, my God.
37:41That's amazing.
37:42Hey, Alan Pauling.
37:43Finally.
37:44Hey, are we going to get a camera?
37:45Come here.
37:46Come here.
37:47Come here.
37:48Come here.
37:49I'll tell you what.
37:50We've had a stroke of luck.
37:51Because we thought we were done.
37:52We had an absolute howler with the first one.
37:54We're walking through.
37:55Then big daddy boys up there.
37:57Sitting there.
37:58Big old plate face.
37:59Just free target.
38:01Nice looking at you.
38:02He's deciding which one's comedy he prefers.
38:05Didn't move.
38:06I'm going on one knee.
38:07I'm fucking getting into this.
38:08Wow.
38:09We actually nailed him.
38:10Got full frontal and open jaw.
38:12He's got a win, hasn't he?
38:14Oh, smash that.
38:15Yeah, you're the man.
38:17We've done it.
38:19Proper photos of one of the rarest species on the planet.
38:22We definitely had something for Roz,
38:24even if Ron was still at sixes and sevens with his camera.
38:31Oh, my God.
38:32You don't look like down the aisle thing.
38:33You just look on it like an iPad.
38:35What?
38:36Yeah.
38:37You've not been looking down the aisle at all?
38:38No, I've just been using that.
38:39That is wild, that is.
38:40I can't be arsed to look down the aisle, mate.
38:41Jesus Christ.
38:42You've got to look down the aisle.
38:43Let me try holding up to my aisle.
38:44Yeah, yeah.
38:45As a photographer would.
38:46Oh, that's so much better.
38:48You're like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando.
38:53Say hello to the wild blood photographer of the year.
38:57Lucky you.
38:58We're not expecting this.
39:00We've got three.
39:01Yeah.
39:02I'm signed to think they're not endangered.
39:03It's a good bit of PR.
39:04It's been amazing.
39:05I mean, it's such a rare animal to see.
39:13Was that an upper hand?
39:14Fucking leave us alone.
39:17It was time to say goodbye to Dharma.
39:22He never stopped smiling even when we were falling apart.
39:25And he delivered when we needed it most.
39:29Dharma, that was amazing.
39:30Oh, thank you.
39:31All right, Dan.
39:32Thank you so much.
39:33Three orangutans.
39:34Three orangutans.
39:35It's been incredible.
39:36We've done so many amazing things.
39:37Yeah.
39:38The caves.
39:39Caves.
39:40Elephants.
39:41Elephants.
39:42Bridges, orangutans.
39:43Unbelievable.
39:44We've been so lucky with what we've seen.
39:45We've been really lucky.
39:46You are.
39:47You are the luckiest person in this planet at the moment by seeing the big daddy boy.
39:51Yeah.
39:52The big daddy boy.
39:53The big daddy boy.
39:54The big daddy boy.
39:55Yeah.
39:56All right, Dan.
39:57Maybe it's time to go.
39:58All right, we're going.
39:59All right, we're going.
40:00Okay, yeah, let's go.
40:01Okay.
40:02He said that.
40:03Nice to meet you.
40:04Nice to meet you, man.
40:05Nice to meet you, man.
40:06See you later.
40:07See you later.
40:08Take care.
40:09I'm still alive.
40:10Still alive and keep smiling, man.
40:12Big daddy boy.
40:13Big daddy boy.
40:14We've returned to civilization to start sorting through the thousands of photos we'd taken
40:24since we'd arrived in Sumatra.
40:27Now we had to select two of our best each to send to competition judge Roz.
40:32Okay.
40:33There was a lot of rubbish.
40:34That shit.
40:35Really bad, that one.
40:36Yeah.
40:37But there were a few that stood out.
40:39Oh!
40:40That's the one I like.
40:41That is good.
40:42That's a big yawn.
40:43That's the best so far.
40:44It had taken hours, but we'd selected two photos each to send to Roz.
40:50I was sending in a nighttime frog and my female orangutan looking off into the middle distance.
40:56I was going all in on big daddy boy.
40:59He looked good whatever.
41:01Big smiley boy.
41:02And easily photo of the week, big yawn boy.
41:06There's a couple of shots in there that could be quite good and I'm really gutted to say that the best one might have been taken by Rob Beckett.
41:15So with the photo sent to Roz to judge, all we could do was wait.
41:23And the next day, we got an answer.
41:26Hello.
41:27Hello, Roz.
41:28It's Rob and Rob.
41:29Hello.
41:30Hello, hello.
41:31So you made it?
41:32Roz, it's tough out here.
41:34I think we've got good photos, but it's a harsh place.
41:37Yeah.
41:38Now, I got them overnight.
41:40I've had a good look.
41:41Okay.
41:42And actually, I was quite surprised.
41:45I was impressed, in fact.
41:47Wow.
41:48Because you've actually done very well.
41:50Oh, thank you.
41:52I really liked the little form.
41:53It looked like it was about to try and eat something.
41:56It had an attitude.
41:57That was my photo.
41:58I was really passionately taking it.
42:00Okay.
42:01But the one I decided on I really liked was the female.
42:06And she's looking to one side.
42:08Oh.
42:09Got one again.
42:10It's on her.
42:11The light has caught her eyes, just as a glint in her eye.
42:15Incredibly, Roz had liked all mine, and none of Rob's had even got a mention.
42:20But I thought I'd better at least pretend to be gracious about it.
42:23Do you know why we liked the yawning one?
42:26It's because it was like a bit of an action shot.
42:28That's why we thought that was better, but...
42:29Yeah.
42:30And teeth and stuff.
42:31But I'm afraid on the left, it's just too distracting and messy with the light coming through.
42:37Yeah.
42:38Well, you see, it's a jungle, Roz.
42:39What do you want me to boot?
42:40Retire it?
42:41Well, you know...
42:44A cup of bamboo wall, Roz.
42:45Give us a chance.
42:46It's a jungle.
42:47Well, we're coming onto the wall now.
42:49Oh, okay.
42:50But I just wanted to say, you did do well.
42:54Yeah.
42:55You know, joking aside, I hadn't expected shots that would be good enough to put on the wall.
43:00Oh!
43:01So, my favourite one will be on show at the Wildlife Photographer, the exhibition at the Natural History Museum.
43:10Really?
43:11Yeah.
43:12So, well done.
43:13Oh, my God!
43:14So, middle distance is going on the wall?
43:15Middle distance on the wall.
43:16Thank you, Roz.
43:17I'm buzzing.
43:18Is there any space for another one?
43:20Yeah, it'll probably be my second one, isn't it?
43:22No, it's the one.
43:23Yeah, it would be.
43:24Shit.
43:25I'm sorry.
43:26I'm sorry.
43:27Don't worry, yeah.
43:28I know what it's like.
43:29You're tied for space at the Natural History Museum.
43:31Yeah.
43:32You once had a dinosaur in the middle of it.
43:33Famously.
43:34It typed the old rule of space.
43:35Famously.
43:36Famously devoid of walls.
43:37I'm buzzing, Roz.
43:41That's amazing news.
43:43I can't believe it.
43:45All right.
43:46All right.
43:47See you soon.
43:48Bye.
43:49Bye.
43:50Bye.
43:51Bye.
43:52Bye.
43:53So after travelling over 6,000 miles across the globe.
43:56Never ends, is it?
43:58Trekking with elephants.
43:59Come here, Dumbo.
44:00Crawling through caves.
44:01Oh, my God.
44:02You're spraying prey, baby.
44:04And dodging coma-inducing snakes.
44:06There's King Cobra here.
44:07Yeah.
44:08We finally managed to capture a shot worthy.
44:10Oh, my God.
44:11Of the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition.
44:14Oh, special.
44:15And what made it even better was that Rob didn't have a single picture on the wall.
44:21I thought I'd nailed it, to be honest.
44:22Yeah.
44:23Well, you know, it's just exciting.
44:25Photos going up.
44:26Photos going up.
44:27I would say, though, we've done pretty well here, considering how bad our photos were to
44:32the good ones we've got.
44:33I think it just goes to show you that, like, if you've got a bit of determination.
44:37Yes.
44:38You've got a guide that takes you exactly to where the animals are.
44:40Yeah.
44:41And somebody's showing you how to use the camera.
44:42And about eight grand's worth of equipment.
44:43Yeah.
44:44You know.
44:45So if you do have access to that, I'd say, you know, anyone can get involved in this competition.
44:49There are no barriers to entry.
44:50What you've got to do is have a 15-year comedy career, build yourself up to the point where
44:54you've got enough profile to do a show on Sky, then have the amount of technical support
44:58that we had in order to take one photo that's good out of 15,000.
45:01Yes.
45:02We've made it.
45:03Yeah.
45:04You're on the wall, baby.
45:05Yeah.
45:06And unfortunately, because there's not enough wall space, I'm not.
45:07No.
45:08Well, I'm going to go hose down my gooch.
45:09Yep.
45:10Thank you, Indonesia.
45:11Let's get me to Bromley.
45:12Yeah.
45:13We're still alive, baby.
45:14Gonna have a cheese sandwich and a Stella when I go.
45:16I see trees of green, red roses too.
45:23I see them bloom for me and you.
45:29And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
45:42Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
45:54Yeah.
45:55Oh, yeah.
46:08Yeah.
46:11Yeah.
46:13Yeah.
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