- 2 hours ago
Palm Royale - Season 2 Episode 7 -
Maxine Plays Dead
Maxine Plays Dead
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FunTranscript
02:01Tomorrow, we bury Maxine.
02:04May she find the peace that eluded her in life.
02:07Guide me, oh spirit.
02:09Why have you abandoned me in my hour of need?
02:13I'm a hostage in my own home.
02:16Until her killer, Norma Delacorte, is brought to justice.
02:20You're out of cereal.
02:21May justice be done for the sake of Maxine's memory and our safety.
02:28Dinah, what on earth are you doing here?
02:37Identifying the body.
02:40Douglas can't bring himself to do it.
02:43You?
02:44I was Maxine's conservator.
02:45It's fallen to me to sign her out.
02:48One last time.
02:50So selfless of you.
02:52It's almost as selfless as throwing a funeral.
02:55A dead socialite and a fool.
02:56Tragedy rubberneckers from Orlando to Oka Humka will come just to say they were there.
03:00It's just what the Palm Royale needs to stay afloat after finding Maxine afloat.
03:13Will you please go in there with me?
03:19Ladies.
03:22Anne, what are you doing here?
03:23Maxine was my friend, but I'm just here as a member of the press to verify the identification.
03:34At least that's what I'm telling myself.
03:38How's that working for you?
03:41No comment.
03:45Stop eating.
03:48I'm grief-ding.
03:51Grief-ding?
03:52Grief-eating.
03:54For Mirabelle.
03:56And for me.
03:57I'm grieved him for two.
03:59Douglas must be devastated.
04:00Stop talking about Douglas, Maxine.
04:02I wouldn't expect you to understand.
04:03You always take her side anyway.
04:04Because Norma didn't kill Mirabelle thinking it was you.
04:07At least Douglas didn't try to poison or drown me like your sweet Norma.
04:10The way Douglas treats you, that's not love.
04:13If Tom did to me what Douglas did to you, oof.
04:15Tom is.
04:16The only difference is you can't get pregnant, Mitzi.
04:22Hey, Virginia said we can't leave.
04:29I know what that means.
04:36I've all seen dead bodies before.
04:37I haven't seen a dead body.
04:39Oh, oh.
04:39Oh, God.
04:41It's ghastly.
04:42Oh, what's that smell?
04:44Oh, God.
04:44Um, we've got to turn around?
04:49We must.
04:50Okay, on the count of three.
04:52Okay.
04:53One, two, three.
04:58What does she look like?
04:59No.
04:59Did you look?
05:00Didn't do it.
05:01I can't.
05:01Oh, God, I can't do this.
05:02Oh, God.
05:03Is this necessary?
05:04Do we have to?
05:05You have to.
05:06Okay, one, two, three, 3.5, four.
05:20That's not Maxine.
05:21That is not her.
05:22What?
05:22No, that's not her.
05:23I'm not sure who this is, but this is not our friend.
05:26Are you sure?
05:27Good luck with the, uh...
05:28Gina, I'm coming!
05:30There's a woman dog!
05:32Round them up, sequester them somewhere safe, and make sure no one else sees this body.
05:36No one.
05:38Yes, ma'am.
05:47Hey, Mama!
05:49What are you doing sneaking around up there?
05:52They got some good burgers here, right?
05:54Those weren't for me.
05:55I-I'm staying with the, uh, attractive but brooding gentleman.
05:58What are you two doing squirreled away up there?
06:01Uh, no one's supposed to see me.
06:03I'm dead.
06:05I'm sorry, mister.
06:06My friends call me Bruce.
06:07And your secret's safe with me, miss.
06:10Maxine.
06:11Um, just Maxine.
06:14Oh.
06:16My.
06:17God.
06:18Are you the dead socialite with the funeral tomorrow?
06:21Maxine Delacour?
06:22You know who I am?
06:23Oh, this is bad.
06:24Oh, this is so beyond bad.
06:28This is-this is a tragedy.
06:29This is Carmen.
06:31I-I really can't have another person crying over me.
06:33No, I'm not.
06:34A very close friend of mine from out of town is supposed to attend your funeral tomorrow,
06:39but if you're alive, then, well, I guess he's not coming to Palm Beach after all.
06:43I'm not supposed to tell you this, but great news.
06:50The funeral's actually still on.
06:53You better get down here to this hot tub right now.
06:58Come to the tub.
06:59Oh.
07:00Come to the tub.
07:02Come on.
07:02Come to the tub.
07:04Come to the tub.
07:06Come to the tub.
07:08Come to-
07:09She's coming.
07:10She's coming.
07:11I don't want to do this.
07:27The funeral, the big wedding, the constant public humiliation.
07:32Promise me, once the baby is born, I won't have to jump through any more hoops or loops
07:37or ex-wife funerals.
07:38Promise, we just have to fly to Switzerland first.
07:43Why are we flying to Switzerland?
07:44To sew up the baby trust with the bank.
07:48It's a paperwork thing.
07:50I'm sorry.
07:51I should have told you earlier.
07:52Dinah!
07:55Norma sent another note!
07:59Where's Dinah?
08:00She went to the morgue.
08:01Not if I can help her.
08:02The literal morgue, Perry.
08:03She just went there to identify Max's body for me.
08:08I'm coming for you.
08:10I'll see you at the funeral.
08:11I shouldn't have let her go in my place.
08:13I'll find Dinah before Norma does.
08:15Yeah, I'll come with you.
08:16Okay?
08:16Fuck, I gotta get changed first.
08:17Do not leave me here alone, Douglas!
08:19You're carrying the Delacorte air.
08:22Norma would never hurt you.
08:26I found out I had a twin sister, and her name is Mirabelle.
08:28And this woman, Norma, who was my husband's ex-husband's aunt, she tried to kill me, thinking
08:33it was me, but she ended up killing Mirabelle.
08:35I love you.
08:37You're the most fascinating woman I've ever met.
08:39You're like Doris Dave, she wasn't such a big jerk.
08:43I've told ex-lovers of mine they're gonna miss me when I'm gone, but you, you actually
08:46get to see your ex-husband missing you.
08:49You get to hear the tears, see the rending of garments.
08:52Shoot, I'm not gonna be able to see any of that.
08:54Well, Maxine, I do have a call.
08:58Oh.
08:59She really would love to see him cry.
09:02Did we just become best friends that are about to spy on our men?
09:05I think so.
09:06Let's go!
09:07Maxine, everybody!
09:09Excuse me.
09:19I need to speak to Agent Trainee Tom Sanka about the murder of Maxine Delacorte.
09:23Tom Sanka no longer works here.
09:25What?
09:26Why does the FBI care nothing about the endangered wives of Palm Beach?
09:30Robert?
09:30Why did Norma Delacorte want to kill your wife?
09:32Because Norma knows that Dinah knows that Norma killed Axel Rosenberg!
09:36I can't believe that she's gone.
09:38This is so fucked, man.
09:42This is so true, brother.
09:44So true.
09:46My wife, a potential future first lady of Palm Beach, is receiving death threats from the
09:53same killer who put this sad, sax ex-wife in the morgue across town.
09:57And?
09:58And we allowed my wife to identify the dead body of his ex-wife, and now my wife is in danger.
10:05If you don't hear from her in 24 hours, you can come back here and report her missing.
10:10Look at him.
10:13Look at him.
10:14The sad husk of a human.
10:15The morgue told us that no one could see his ex-wife on the orders of the FBI.
10:21No one else sees her until the funeral.
10:23You're gonna keep her on ice?
10:25When I know best what her wishes were?
10:29Shame on you.
10:29It's a doozy, Doug Boat.
10:35No doubt about it.
10:37A doozy.
10:39Maxine wouldn't want to be on display like some ornamental fern.
10:42She always said that if she went first, she'd want her ashes to be scattered in the wind
10:50from my bi-play.
10:53Hey, uh, do you need a hug?
10:59Yeah.
11:01Oh.
11:05That's it.
11:09Sorry.
11:10Don't worry about that.
11:12I just want to be able to honor her.
11:19Honor her in a way that I couldn't in life.
11:23I gotta get back to Mitzi.
11:26Let me drive you.
11:27Oh, thanks, man.
11:28I'll go off.
11:29I'll go off.
11:42Gosh, I really hope I didn't miss Douglas.
11:47I want to see him wail.
11:49Listen, who is the mystery man coming to my funeral?
11:52This is not a Japanese decorative pond.
11:57Do not be coy.
11:58I can't.
11:58I can't.
11:59He's well-known.
12:00Oh.
12:00Famous.
12:02Oh.
12:03Okay.
12:04Well, you can tell me.
12:06I'm dead, remember?
12:07Oh, please, just give me a hand.
12:08Okay, just a hand.
12:09Okay.
12:09Okay.
12:10A boulder plus a body of water in New York.
12:21No?
12:22No.
12:23Okay.
12:24Um, Doris Day's best friend.
12:28Oh.
12:30Tony Randall.
12:31No, but he's around.
12:33Okay.
12:35It rhymes with Sock Sudson.
12:39Rock.
12:41Rock Hudson's coming to my funeral.
12:43Shh, stop.
12:44He'd be ruined if it got out.
12:45Oh, gosh.
12:46That's so exciting.
12:47Yes.
12:48Oh, my God.
12:49I swear to God, it's like a fairy tale.
12:50Oh, my goodness.
12:51And then I never know if it's real.
12:53The other guys think I beat him up.
12:54If it's real to you, then who cares what the world thinks?
12:58It doesn't matter if he's a movie star or, well,
13:01an ex-husband.
13:03Yeah, back to you.
13:05Why, if he's your ex-husband, do you keep coming back?
13:10Do you promise you won't judge me or tell me to let it go
13:13or make me list all of his transgressions in detail?
13:15Who do you think I am?
13:18Okay.
13:22He can't go back to a man you never left.
13:26And Mirabelle, the twin sister I just found out I had,
13:29I told her the big secret that Douglas was the only man
13:32that no one ever loved.
13:34And then he confessed to her his love for her,
13:36which she thought was me.
13:37And then Mirabelle died.
13:39I know it's a lot to process.
13:41Yeah.
13:43You haven't had time to grieve your sister or your marriage.
13:47You are very wise.
13:49We're a wise people.
13:50Oh, yes.
13:56Speaking of grieving.
13:57Is that the new one?
13:58Gosh, yes.
13:59I hate to see a sheep girl cry.
14:03Here.
14:06Stop.
14:07What are you doing?
14:09I can't watch someone cry, even if it's her.
14:11That was the whole point.
14:12We came to watch people cry.
14:13I have done everything you told me to.
14:20But I can't do it anymore.
14:24You said no one would get hurt.
14:30What happened?
14:34She fainted.
14:35She fainted.
14:35She fainted.
14:35She fainted.
14:37She fainted.
14:39She fainted.
14:43Is Agent Sanka here?
14:54Tom left.
14:55Robert.
14:56I am so sorry.
15:00I would never do anything to hurt him.
15:03And if I'd known he'd lose his job, I would...
15:06He didn't.
15:07J. Edgar Hoover himself was taking an interest.
15:10A transfer was offered, and I insisted he take it.
15:13Before something bad could happen.
15:16Again.
15:18I don't know what rules you live by in Palm Beach.
15:22But some things are hard to bore you.
15:26Including my husband.
15:28We have children together.
15:32Do you know what that's like?
15:33Of course you don't.
15:39Can you tell him I said goodbye?
15:42Please.
15:43Yes.
15:44I can.
15:47But I won't.
15:48Do you think she's okay?
16:01What about the baby?
16:02You think the baby's okay?
16:03She's a kimbo on the wall-to-wall.
16:05This is how I spent my 20s.
16:06She's fine.
16:06Let's get her to the bed.
16:07You get heads, I'll get tails.
16:08Yeah.
16:09I'm trying to keep her hair nice.
16:10Oh.
16:10Okay.
16:11From the knees.
16:12Oh.
16:13Oh.
16:14Okay.
16:14Okay.
16:15One.
16:16Step.
16:16Two.
16:16Two.
16:17Three.
16:17Alley-oop.
16:19Protect the head.
16:20Okay.
16:21Okay.
16:22Gorgeous.
16:25I really scared her, didn't I?
16:27You are literally haunting the woman who stole your husband.
16:31Golly.
16:32That is sweet revenge.
16:34Should we let her stew in it a bit longer?
16:37Yeah.
16:37Let's go back to the hot tub and do some old-fashioned gloating.
16:40Sleep down, Betsy.
16:41I actually used to think minestrone was boring, but I don't think that anymore.
16:48I used to feel that way about chowder.
16:49Oh, my gosh.
16:50Soup sisters.
16:51Soup sisters.
16:52What in the literal fuck have you been?
16:55Oh.
16:56Um, I went to see Douglas, just to soothe his grief over my alleged death.
17:01But don't worry, he did not see me.
17:02But Missy did, and she thinks Maxine's a ghost.
17:05Who are you?
17:06Oh, sorry.
17:07Manners.
17:08This is Bruce, my new best friend.
17:10He's gay.
17:10Maybe you don't tell people that.
17:12Oh, I'm sorry.
17:13Okay, look.
17:14One or two things are gonna happen.
17:15Either you stay dead and we catch Norma, or the next funeral in Palm Beach will actually
17:19be yours.
17:20Nobody else can see you.
17:22There's only so many women this gay hotel can hold.
17:25There's other women here?
17:28Nothing Norma could inflict on us would be worse than this room.
17:31I do like the bedspread.
17:32Not after you read the comments in the guest book.
17:34I'll sleep in the bathtub.
17:42You might want to rethink that.
17:46Maxine?
17:47I'm so glad you're alive.
17:49Now I can kill you myself.
17:51I will explain everything to you and answer all of your questions.
17:55Can we do it downstairs in the jacuzzi?
17:58See my new gay best friend, Bruce?
18:00He's invited us all to a pool party.
18:02Jacuzzi mixer, he called it.
18:03The guest book calls it egg drop soup.
18:05Virginia said, nobody can see us.
18:08We can't go cavorting in a jacuzzi.
18:10I am a target, Maxine.
18:11These men are very discreet.
18:13Why would we go to a gay party with you?
18:15Because in the wake of tragedy, the only thing we have is community.
18:21And there are no mini bars.
18:23They have tons of booze.
18:24Now you're talking.
18:27I should have led with that.
18:29I'm going to write about this, but...
18:31Ooh, white hanky.
18:32That means they just like to watch and stroke it together.
18:37Oh.
18:38Do you ever stroke it?
18:40Huh?
18:40I have.
18:42Not my favorite thing to do.
18:44It's more attitude that makes a bear a bear.
18:47And their general interest in nipples.
18:49I panic every time, and I just can't do it.
18:51And I feel like I'm broken.
18:55You just have to relax.
18:58And learn how to relax into your breathing.
19:03Do you have access to a bidet?
19:05Wait.
19:06Do you and your husband?
19:08Perry says it reminds him of boarding school.
19:10Oh, hey, no.
19:11We're not all sex-crazed perverts.
19:13That would be the pigs.
19:15I see.
19:17And what kind of a man would a whale be?
19:22I'm a blower.
19:24I love that light blue.
19:26Light blue, left pocket.
19:27This is stunning.
19:28Do you know that I was the inspiration for the roommate in the bell jar?
19:32Oh, gosh.
19:32I just love all your pals.
19:34Come on.
19:34Thanks for including us and making us feel welcome.
19:37Well, it's not totally selfless.
19:38Cops won't raid a party with women.
19:42What are you doing?
19:44Out here looking folks in the eyes telling people about your own fuel.
19:47Bruce invited us all to a party.
19:48Oh, everyone.
19:49This is Virginia.
19:50She's a federal agent.
19:53Ladies, do you mind joining me for a private chat?
19:57This woman is like the plague.
19:59Oh, God.
20:00Get rid of her.
20:03Thanks.
20:08Ladies, nothing can go wrong tomorrow.
20:10Evelyn, you're in charge of the funeral, while Dinah will sit in the pew and wait.
20:14For what?
20:15For Norma to kill me?
20:17Will I at least get a security detail or a bulletproof vest?
20:22Discretion is key.
20:22Y'all can't tell nobody about this thing, not even your husband's.
20:25Great.
20:26And then you and I will be in the balcony together.
20:28Well, we'll, you know, surveil the premises.
20:32I think it's best for you to attend the services and provide credibility as press.
20:36But this was our case.
20:37We were working it together.
20:39You know, it's the FBI's case now.
20:41I got complete buy-in for once.
20:45Your staff is to proceed as instructed.
20:47May I point out that, like Dinah, there is zero upside in my participation here.
20:53And what about me?
20:54What's my role?
20:55Your sister is playing your role.
20:57I have to go to my own funeral.
20:58I need to see Norma's capture.
20:59I must be there.
21:00I'll see you all tomorrow.
21:02Except Maxine.
21:09Oh, well, look who it is.
21:13Boys!
21:14Boys, I have a question for you.
21:16If your best friend was almost killed by an old lady,
21:19and that same old lady accidentally killed her twin sister instead,
21:24whose side would you be on, huh?
21:25Your best friends or the mean old ladies?
21:30Yours!
21:31Thank you, Bruce.
21:32See?
21:33I saw Douglas.
21:34He's not taking your death well.
21:37Even I feel bad for you.
21:38But don't let us spoil your fun with your new friends.
21:46Oh my God.
22:13what in the world excuse me you're not allowed in here you can't take those what do you what
22:37what you put those down hello virginia get your officers out of my office it's out of my
22:45jurisdiction what's that saying about death and taxes not even the fbi can stop a federal order
22:50taxes you mean i told you and maxina let me handle pinky but no you had to call the irs they showed
22:56up last night where were you you never came to bed well late night funeral prep this is the biggest
23:04event of the season insomnia i thought this might help ma'am with your grief and the irs jed thank
23:13you you don't ask how to help you just do it i like that why don't you go clean the pool jed actually
23:23i'm gonna need jed on door duty this is still an active murder scene so we're gonna need extra
23:28security ma'am we have a major problem it's hard enough grieving my sister i've only known for
23:34as long as i've known you but the event of the off season in my honor and i can't even go you have
23:41to report back to me in full detail preferably written i'm not going what we both can't not go
23:50rock sent a note too much publicity rendezvous rescheduled he said he'd call after but
23:58not getting my hopes up if you want to make a man hear you you've got to make a man see you some
24:04advice don't take her advice especially if it's about men and where are you off to with that fancy
24:08suitcase i'm going to your fake funeral to give a fake eulogy as a fake american hero i hear you fake
24:14but what's with the bag well i'm taking this norma just in case she gets arrested
24:18you know what it's like maxine to be stripped from your dignity tossed in a cell and stuffed into a paper
24:23gown
24:26well at least i didn't kill my sister
24:30that middle finger again oh let's blow this joint
24:40wow you are very good at this bruce you should have seen me outside the ice station zebra premiere
24:45oh by the way look at that one she's devastated oh yeah her plastic surgeon he's a heavy drinker
24:51i always say if she sneezes she might look like a basset hound
24:56careful
24:58oh look who just zipped up on his vespa
25:03oh my god it's him who my rock
25:08oh and he's with the governor of california no his wife she's rocks best judy i think her name's nancy
25:23you have a lot to learn nancy learned a lot from me too she can fit a golf ball through a garden hose now
25:28thanks to me
25:32oh gosh mirror bells in there and i'm sitting here talking about movie stars and golf balls
25:38i need to give her a proper goodbye i'm going in
25:41actually you'll never get in through the front door there's one thing i know how to do it's sneak into
25:46the palm royale and you are still invited to my funeral you'll never let me undress like this
25:53wish me luck good luck maxine promise me you'll make him see you
26:06i just had to see you one more time
26:19i just had to see you one more time
26:33you know i've always wanted a family of my very own
26:52and i just want you to know i i cherished every second we had together
27:00i'm gonna miss you my little buttercup
27:03i can't believe we're going through with this
27:27everyone out there believes maxine's in that casket when she's actually in a hot
27:30hotel with her new gay best friend
27:33if it makes you feel any better there's nobody in the coffin
27:37i can't go the whole town thinks i'm the one who killed maxine
27:42we all know that norma's the one who killed her
27:45they think i killed her spirit
27:48that's why she's haunting me that's just your guilty conscience playing tricks on you it'll pass
27:52she was she was at our back door i'm telling you
27:57i can't go to the funeral and see her body
28:00i may never see my wife again but here's yours
28:03what is this maxine as per the grieving wishes of you my stag brother
28:14let's get her away apparently perry donahue went down to the morgue and threw a temper tantrum until
28:18they agreed to cremate the body this town is so up and you know who the most up of them all is
28:28maxine i can't believe i have to eulogize someone that i actually want to kill
28:32just get through today norma is in palm beach you know she won't be able to stay away
28:42i appreciate your persistence mirabelle whoever you are but until i find my bootlegger i won't
28:50be delivering any messages today you'll be delivering a message mary i know as soon as
28:57the processional starts i make my move and then you don't worry about me you do your part and i'll
29:04take care of the rest and once that's done i'll be free we'll all be free come on normal show yourself
29:16rock hudson he's even cuter up close now as soon as the ceremony is underway i want you to head
29:28out back and start scrubbing nobody's gonna want to swim in a pool with pieces of maxine's decomposing
29:33body floating about right away ma'am hey hey do you want to talk no i do not want to talk i want
29:42she had to clean the rotting flesh out of the pool oh gosh happy rockeviller
29:50and as i live and breathe babe pailey oh
29:59excuse me
30:04diana i thought you were a goner
30:06i'm married not now not now norma could be anywhere i don't want to draw attention to myself
30:12you have no idea i've been through it now maxine's gone get your shit together mary
30:16jay perry didn't think we knew each other that well are you wearing a bulletproof vest two i took
30:23yours when i thought you weren't coming yes give it to me right now give it to me give it to you right
30:27now you have the balls to protect me i am just gonna have to protect myself where are you going
30:35the only place a woman can truly feel safe in this world the ladies room thank you very much excuse me
30:45see they're all looking at me and so is maxine she's following me and she's right too i've been
31:00terrible to her i promise you maxine is on the counter where we left her
31:07no she's not she's right there if she's in there then whose ashes do we have
31:12someone's in the kitchen at diners i am so sorry there must have been a mix-up with the cremains
31:17but i can assure you there's no one in that coffin see mitts it's all fine come on
31:26welcome friends i can hardly believe this is happening it all feels so terribly unreal
31:36i can't help but feel somehow that maxine's just gonna turn up one day
31:40and yet here we are saying our final farewell to maxine who knows what her last name is now
31:51maxine came to us as an outsider but she worked and wormed her way into our hearts and burrowed in
32:01like a like a barnacle a clung onto a piece of driftwood and could not be scraped off oh no no no
32:11mary mary stop right there mary mary what do you do i have a message for maxine from the other side
32:25so if you all would just give us a moment of privacy no no no no don't do it mary
32:33no no no no no no i just need a minute i need a minute
32:47this is up
32:52what the fuck
32:57someone named mirabel came to me she says
33:03don't worry about her she's having a lot of fun and she loves you and I'm not sure what this part
33:13means but she said there's lots of man rods in heaven all right Mary that's quite enough from
33:21the spirit world for today now we'll continue with the service actually I do have another
33:28message to deliver I know what you're all thinking that I shouldn't even be here much less speak but
33:40I'm gonna Maxine and I were married for 20 years and I loved her
33:58and Maxine I just want you to know that I am so sorry for everything that I have done I don't know
34:05if you chose me or I chose you or if love is just something that happens when two people choose
34:14each other the same moment like a bargain and that beautiful fragile bargain that may only happen once
34:24for a person could last a lifetime if both people keep believing in the singularity of that magic
34:34if anyone else has the urge to express themselves please have the good sense to repress it we will now
34:58resume the scheduled eulogy delivered by Maxine's dearest friend patriot warrior American hero Mr. Robert Diaz
35:09I don't know about y'all but I can't bear to look at her oh no
35:30if Maxine were here with us today she would want us to move on with our lives
35:42yes she wouldn't want us to get stuck in sentimental stories or touching anecdotes
35:50oh I love touching anecdotes Maxine contrary to popular opinion she was a very private person
35:57I was so I'm gonna ask you all to make a sullen pact where we don't talk about Maxine ever again
36:06life is too fucking short
36:08thank you and now before the palm royale waitstaff brings Maxine to her
36:20eternal resting place on the ninth hole won't you join me in singing Maxine's favorite song
36:30honoring her hometown Chattanooga
36:34the lyrics are on the back side of your prayer cards
36:40Marjorie Merriweather post
37:08how's the mayoral campaign Diana
37:13I must admit it is a terrifying time to be in politics
37:18ever since my speech at your square dance someone's been threatening to unleash the dogs on us
37:23you
37:36are the one that's been sending the threatening letters
37:42but why
37:46because you took my dick
37:48I'm sorry
37:50my dick
37:51Richard Milhouse Nixon
37:53my little Ricky
37:54my little Dickie
37:56my little droopy dog cutie pie
37:59oh I am so sorry
38:02I didn't realize that you and the president were so close
38:05of course you didn't
38:05then to have your hand in the next camera line up
38:08when you hear the whistle blow and ain't to the bar
38:11then you know that Tennessee is not very far
38:14shovel all the coal and gun
38:17the only way for a woman to have power in this world is to obtain three things
38:21a buttload of money
38:23a buttload of guns
38:24and the ear of the most powerful man in the country
38:27I've been seeing after Dick's needs for decades
38:32I'm the one that always made sure
38:34that his milk was lukewarm
38:36and his saltines were cold
38:38whatever he needed
38:40I provided
38:42how very nurturing of you
38:49I know
38:49I'm a saint
38:50unfortunately some little hippie tried to kill him
38:54so now he doesn't want to come to Palm Beach anymore
38:57so I thought I'd sweeten the pot
38:59I offered to donate Mar-a-Lago
39:01to the cause of liberty
39:03use it as his winter white house
39:05and then we could continue to canoodle
39:07under the cover of real estate
39:09but now I realize the real reason
39:12he didn't want to come around
39:13there wasn't a gun wielding assassin
39:15it was something far more dangerous
39:18what?
39:19you
39:19me?
39:20you
39:20with your white teeth
39:22and your tight little tush
39:23I can see
39:35you were upset
39:36how can I make this up to you?
39:40I'll give you one hint
39:41you can crack it
39:42pour a little milk on it
39:44add some herbs
39:44but you'll never get an omelet
39:46Axel's Faberge egg
39:48I can assure you
39:52I have looked
39:54high and low
39:55all over my home
39:57believe me
39:57we've looked too
39:58you've
39:59yes
39:59in your home
40:00with my men
40:01eating malta meal in your kitchen
40:03whilst they tore the place apart
40:04and put it all back together again
40:06I feel so violated
40:08good
40:08and after
40:10we searched your home
40:11I now know
40:11that Axel had a top secret
40:13safety deposit box
40:14in Switzerland
40:15it's the only conceivable place
40:18that final imperial egg
40:19could possibly be
40:21so if I go to Switzerland
40:23and get that egg
40:24then we'll be square?
40:26we'll be square
40:27and if I don't get that egg?
40:32I'll kill you
40:32what?
40:34societally I mean
40:34I'll tell everyone
40:35you're Nixon's whore
40:36but won't that hurt Nixon?
40:38no
40:39people never remember
40:40what the man did
40:41only the woman
40:42you'll have to carry
40:43that stench
40:44for the rest of your life
40:45rough
40:47egg
40:50call me boys
40:53is that the Chattanooga choo choo
40:56right on track 29
40:58well you can give me a shine
41:02give me a merry good shine
41:04hello friend
41:18I have a message for you
41:21from Norma
41:23go home
41:26now
41:27I used to call her
41:28I used to call her
41:28just a funny thing
41:30she's gonna cry
41:31she's gonna cry
41:32until I tell her
41:33I'm gonna
41:34look
41:34Norma
41:35Norma
41:46Virginia
41:48Virginia
41:56Virginia
41:57Anna
41:58I thought I told you to stay down there with the mourners
42:00she just went into the baby's room
42:01veil Norma
42:03there
42:04I got eyes on Norma
42:12suspect is on the premises
42:13hold your positions
42:15gotcha
42:28gotcha
42:35gotcha
42:37hey Bruce
42:52don't shoot
42:54please hold your fire
42:56put your guns down
42:57what are you doing?
42:59what you told me to do
43:00I just want to talk
43:05I just want to talk to him
43:08Rock please
43:10Rock don't go
43:12whoa
43:13Nancy you are such an evil bitch
43:15you listen to me Rock Hudson
43:17that woman is not your friend
43:19she's a mediocre actress too
43:21and a superior bitch
43:23Nancy Reagan is a fair one
43:25stand down
43:27not our target
43:28I can explain
43:33um
43:34you see
43:35I was forced against my will
43:37by the
43:38it's gonna sound crazy
43:39the federal government
43:41they made me
43:41do this
43:42tell them Virginia
43:44tell them
43:45thank you so much for coming
43:47we have open swim
43:50tomorrow at 11 a.m
43:51you would let me believe
43:58that you were dead
43:59I never wanted
44:01just let me live my life in peace
44:02Douglas
44:07I never want to believe
44:15I never want to believe
44:16I never want to believe
44:17I never want to believe
44:17I never want to believe
44:18I never want to believe
44:18I never want to believe
44:19I never want to believe
44:20I never want to believe
44:21I never want to believe
44:21I never want to believe
44:23I never want to believe
44:24I never want to believe
44:25I never want to believe
44:25I never want to believe
44:26I never want to believe
44:27I never want to believe
44:27I never want to believe
44:29I never want to believe
44:29I never want to believe
44:30I never want to believe
44:31I never want to believe
44:31I never want to believe
44:32I never want to believe
44:32I never want to believe
44:33I never want to believe
44:33I never want to believe
44:34I never want to believe
44:34I never want to believe
44:35I never want to believe
44:35I never want to believe
44:35Oh, you've really let the place go to hell, haven't you?
44:53Roma, the entire town is looking for you.
44:57The FBI is looking for you.
44:59Ditch the turban, ditch the moo moo.
45:02Nobody's gonna pay a little old lady any by it.
45:07I could get away with murder dressed like this.
45:11I should turn you in to the police.
45:13But you won't.
45:15We're family, you and I.
45:17What are you doing here?
45:20Darling, I can see it in your face.
45:24This town has become cruel to you,
45:28which is why I've come back to spirit you away.
45:33Don't you realize I've always thought of you as a son?
45:40Come on, let's blow this popsicle stand.
45:47Yes, mother.
46:04Mrs. Martinez, we have concluded our investigation.
46:08Our final assessment.
46:11Oh, my God.
46:13Evelyn?
46:17What's going on?
46:18Well, dead corpse floating in the pool.
46:21FBI sting foiled by Maxine rising from the dead.
46:24And now the Palme Royale owes eight million dollars in back taxes.
46:28So the IRS is shutting us down until we settle.
46:30That's what's going on.
46:31At least you didn't lie to me.
46:33I'm sorry.
46:34I cooperated with the FBI.
46:36My mistake.
46:37I'm sorry.
46:38I took charge of our lives while my husband sat around looking pretty.
46:42That is so unkind.
46:44The Palme Royale is finished.
46:45There's no coming back from this shit parade.
46:47And it's all on me to dig us out of another goddamn hole.
46:50It's all on you because you want it that way.
46:53Because you like it that way.
46:55And how about you stop being so fucking nasty?
46:57How about you tell Jed to get out there and scrub the goddamn pool?
47:01Ay, por favor, arrodillate and clean the goddamn pool yourself.
47:22Where are you going?
47:24Don't talk to me.
47:25What? What did I do?
47:26Rock left for it at the front desk.
47:28He never wants to see me again.
47:31You did the right thing.
47:33I know you're right, but I still feel like shit.
47:37So thanks for that.
47:39See you around, maybe.
47:43Okay.
47:44See ya.
47:45Okay.
47:46See ya.
47:55Tentless.
47:58Virginia filled me in on what happened.
48:01With Mirabelle.
48:02And I brought you her ashes.
48:05I thought you might want them.
48:07I know you always wanted a family, Max.
48:11I'm just, I'm so sorry.
48:17This is so sweet.
48:19You will ever learn.
48:20You will ever learn.
48:21Is just to love.
48:22And be loved in return.
48:23You will ever learn.
48:24Is just to love.
48:25And be loved in return.
48:28You will ever learn.
48:37Judd.
48:38These are my private quarters.
48:43You shouldn't be here.
48:45I was wondering if there was anything you needed.
48:49Did you clean the pool?
48:50Maybe I did.
48:51You will ever learn.
48:52Maybe I didn't.
48:53Is just to love.
48:54And be loved in return.
48:55Oh.
48:56Shit.
48:57The greatest thing.
48:58You will ever learn.
48:59You will ever learn.
49:00Is just to love.
49:01And be loved in return.
49:03Oh.
49:04Shit.
49:05The greatest thing.
49:06You will ever learn.
49:07Permission to come aboard.
49:08Permission granted.
49:10And be loved in return.
49:15I love it.
49:18交代 kablar.
49:21Oh.
49:23Oh.
49:24Where is it going?
49:25Yeah.
49:26Oh.
49:28Oh, oh, oh.
49:31Ah.
49:32Oh, oh, oh.
49:33Oh.
49:34Oh.
49:36It's very graceful of you, considering the circumstances.
50:00Maxine?
50:03Trust me.
50:06She'll be happy in here.
50:15Maxine, I need to ask you something.
50:17I'm going to Switzerland, and I want you to come with me.
50:21Actually, I need you to come with me, to be there in person,
50:27so that you can sign away your claim on the baby trust.
50:30It's just kind of a red tape thing, because of us having been married.
50:39I'm sorry it's so last minute.
50:41It didn't matter when you were dead, but now that you're alive...
50:53I heard what you said at the funeral.
50:56That you love me, and I want you to know that I accept your apology, and I love you too.
51:07This has all just gone... it's gone too far.
51:13I've had so many feelings today, and I just...
51:17I need to go home and stop feeling.
51:20Well, did you mean what you said?
51:22Are you sad?
51:23Take that as a yes. I'll go to Switzerland.
51:35Wait, Switzerland?
51:37That's the scene of Mormon's first crime.
51:40Max...
51:44You ready for round two?
51:46I'm ready for you.
51:49I'm ready for you.
51:51I'm ready for your first time.
51:52I'm ready for you.
51:55I'm ready for you.
51:58I'm ready for you.
52:00I'm ready for you.
52:02I'll go to Switzerland.
52:04I'll go to Switzerland.
52:05too. I'm ready for you to clean the pool. That'll be all, Jed. Well, goddamn. Get back inside your
52:27coffin, Maxine. She's mad at you. Yeah, I can tell. You know, they almost fired me today. And if I was a
52:33white man, they probably would have. The only reason why they're keeping me around is to trot me out
52:36whenever the FBI is accused of being racist. I'm so sorry. She's in a very dark place. Maxine. Oh.
52:45Hello, Mary. Virginia. Now that you are in law enforcement, I would like to report a missing
52:54person. Oh, yeah? Who? Me. For three days, I was being held hostage in my very own home. What? By
53:09the same murderess that you have been trying to capture. And no one cared. No, no one sent up
53:22flares for Mary. Meanwhile, my bootlegger is gone. My one chance at finding true and lasting passion
53:37evaporated into thin air as soon as Norma arrived and took me hostage. When will I find love?
53:47When? I... I don't know. But can we go back to Norma? I'm sorry. She's... she's at your
53:56house? Was. She left. She had me deliver a message to Robert saying to go home. And I did
54:07that. And now I'm free. No thanks to you. To go and search for my bootlegger.
54:14And no, I do not need any help from law enforcement. The spirit is strong. And she will guide me.
54:34We got to get to the Delacorte. Norma's a genius.
54:47They're gone. They're both gone. Both? Norma and Robert. Don't you see? While this whole town
54:56was here trying to trap her, she slipped in and she took him.
55:00Where her trail ran cold. Where she vacations with Mary in the Alps.
55:04Where she had Robert send her paintings.
55:07Switzerland!
55:08Switzerland!
55:14Fools rush in
55:21Where angels fear to tread
55:25And so I come to you, my love
55:33My heart above my head
55:39Though I see
55:43The danger there
55:49To Jed, I'll love you forever
55:53You're Mitzi
55:55Well
55:57This will do quite nicely
56:02I know today was a bit challenging
56:10But I'm going to Switzerland with Douglas and Mitzi
56:12Strictly business
56:14But since you're my conservator
56:18I need your permission
56:20To travel, just a quick John Hancock
56:22With Mitzi, you don't say
56:24I know
56:26I'll do you one better, Maxine
56:28I'll come with you
56:30Eddie and I could use a little time away
56:32And Switzerland could be just the thing
56:36Maribel said
56:46I would find the killer by the pool
56:50Look at this
56:54The energies are strong right here
56:58Killer of Maxine
57:02Reveal thyself
57:04I feel thyself
57:16My bootlegger
57:18At last
57:20Where have you been?
57:22At this pool
57:24I've missed you
57:26Rush in
57:30Someones
57:40Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah
57:42Someone's in the kitchen, I know
57:44Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah
57:46Strumming on the old banjo
57:48Dinah didn't make no pudding
57:50Dinah didn't make no pudding
57:52Didn't make the apple pie
57:54Cause she's pitching in the kitchen with the apple of her eye
58:00Someone's in the kitchen
58:02Someone's there, I know
58:04Someone's in the kitchen, I know
58:08I know
58:10Somebody's in the kitchen
58:12Somebody's there, I know
58:14Someone's in the kitchen
58:16Strumming on the old banjo
58:18Come on out of the kitchen
58:20Get away
58:22Get away
58:24From the old banjo
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