- 4 weeks ago
Ep 1: The Soldier and Death. A soldier returns home after 20 years of war with three biscuits in his knapsack. On his way he meets three beggars to whom he gives the biscuits. In return one gives him a ruby whistle, one the jolliest dance, and the final man gives him a pack of magic playing cards and a musty sack that has the power to trap anything ordered into it. Little does he realize just how powerful his new acquisitions are or what he will be called to use them for, or how it can also backfire for him...
Starring Bob Peck, John Franklyn-Robbins, Stuart Richmond, Walter Sparrow, Ishia Bennison, Jan Chappel, Gavin Knights, David Fleeshman, plus John Hurt as the eponymous storyteller of the title. Originally broadcast in the USA on January 31st 1987 and in Britain a year later. These are from old video tapes I had of the series, but still in pretty good nick, though I am aware that the story order differs depending which site you visit. According to IMDB it starts with Hans My Hedgehog, but wikipedia lists it as The Soldier and Death as the first episode. As I have no idea, I decided to stick with wikipedia, so this is the episode I have started with. It features Bob Peck just a year after his huge success in Edge of Darkness, while The Storyteller itself managed to win the Best Children's Drama BAFTA the following year, beating a tough bunch including The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe, The Snow Spider and...Bodicea. Not sure how the last got in there, but that is some competition for the TV BAFTAs that year!
Starring Bob Peck, John Franklyn-Robbins, Stuart Richmond, Walter Sparrow, Ishia Bennison, Jan Chappel, Gavin Knights, David Fleeshman, plus John Hurt as the eponymous storyteller of the title. Originally broadcast in the USA on January 31st 1987 and in Britain a year later. These are from old video tapes I had of the series, but still in pretty good nick, though I am aware that the story order differs depending which site you visit. According to IMDB it starts with Hans My Hedgehog, but wikipedia lists it as The Soldier and Death as the first episode. As I have no idea, I decided to stick with wikipedia, so this is the episode I have started with. It features Bob Peck just a year after his huge success in Edge of Darkness, while The Storyteller itself managed to win the Best Children's Drama BAFTA the following year, beating a tough bunch including The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe, The Snow Spider and...Bodicea. Not sure how the last got in there, but that is some competition for the TV BAFTAs that year!
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TVTranscript
00:00When people told themselves their past with stories,
00:13explained their present with stories,
00:16foretold the future with stories,
00:20the best place by the fire was kept for the storyteller.
00:30What's in your bag? I can smell biscuits.
00:49Imagination.
00:50Let me see.
00:51Certainly not.
00:53There are important things in this bag.
00:56And besides, I need those biscuits for my story.
01:00Well, tell your story. Then we can eat them.
01:03Is it an old story?
01:04Ancient. Antique.
01:06Oh, stale biscuits, then.
01:09It begins a thousand miles from anywhere,
01:13after twenty years of war with a soldier,
01:16an honest soul with nothing but a shilling in his pocket
01:19and three dried biscuits for the long trudge hole.
01:22This was his regiment,
01:26the Royal Hussars.
01:28Oh, yes, a thousand miles, the soldier marched,
01:31whistling his tuneless whistle.
01:33And he spent his shilling and was down to the three dried biscuits
01:36when one day he comes across an old beggar.
01:39And the soldier stopped and joined in with the beggar's fiddle.
01:45The one couldn't fiddle,
01:47the other couldn't whistle.
01:48And quite happy they both were.
01:50A merry tune.
02:00Is it worth a farthing?
02:02More.
02:04No, I can give you nothing.
02:06I do have a biscuit you can have.
02:07And you're a good man, Father.
02:10And I'll thank you.
02:13Go on, eat.
02:15Hmm.
02:16You're a good man who deserves a better whistle.
02:19And off the soldier went and took up with his tuneless tune.
02:23But funny, peculiar and strange indeedy.
02:26He had a whistle like...
02:28Well, imagine what rubies would sound like if they whistled.
02:33And he kept it up all the way down the road
02:35until he met another old boy down in his lock and warner.
02:37And this old man, he played one,
02:40he played knick-knack on his drum.
02:42And the soldier stood and whistled his ruby whistle
02:45and did a little jig and his weary boots,
02:48a stumble and a hopping.
02:49And then he swaps a second biscuit.
02:53And now look at his dance.
02:59Oh, yes, a fine Terpsichorey.
03:03Good as new, a skipper to hop down the road.
03:06At length he comes to a third old soak,
03:09worn to a whisper and playing a game of cards by the road.
03:13And the soldier looks as the fellow shuffled the pack
03:19and dealt out the cards, one after the other,
03:21a perfect hand, and gave him a huge clap.
03:25A splendid game.
03:28Worth a farting?
03:30More, though I have nothing to give you.
03:32Now the soldier had but a single biscuit in his bag
03:35and he was hungry as heck, so he thought on it.
03:39But I have a biscuit you can share with me.
03:42And the soldier held out his last dry biscuit and broke it in two.
03:47But it didn't feel good, did it, dearies,
03:49to give the old boy less than the others.
03:52So he gave him both halves.
03:54You're a good man and deserve more luck
03:57than to be on your last biscuit.
03:59Here, take my card, children.
04:01And may they never lose for you.
04:04Take this sack also.
04:06An ugly thing, but remarkable.
04:10Order a bird in or a beast or anything you like
04:14and it'll be there in a twinkle.
04:16And off he went, a skip and a whistle
04:18and a light heart and an empty sack
04:20and walked a warm night and a bright day
04:23and came to a river.
04:25Peace!
04:28Oi!
04:31Get in my sack!
04:44That's a nice whistle.
04:55I got it off a poor soul down on his luck.
04:58Come from the war, are you?
05:00Aye.
05:01And the sack's full of spoils?
05:04No.
05:05This is three geese I trapped yesterday.
05:07I want one for me supper.
05:10If you'll cook it for me and give me a bed,
05:12you can have the other two for your trouble.
05:13I like a nice bird.
05:17Be sure to bring back the sack.
05:19And the landlord roasted him the goose in clove and honey
05:23and brought it back with a bottle of best wine
05:26and the soldier ate it all
05:27and sucked the bones and drank the wine
05:30and danced until the morning when he sank,
05:33swam, flopped into bed.
05:38Three days later, he woke up and looked out of the window
05:41and there on the hill he saw a palace.
05:45I thought I heard you.
05:48Slept well, soldier?
05:49Not bad, not bad.
05:51Whose palace is that?
05:53Why are the windows all smashed?
05:55That's the Tsar's palace.
05:57It was once a place of waltzes and chandeliers and fabulous parties.
06:01Now the devils have it for their card games.
06:03Devils?
06:05Devils.
06:06Every night they tumble in and scream and shout and play at cards.
06:10No decent folk go near they're so devilish.
06:12That's a nice pass.
06:14Someone should deal with those devils.
06:16An army tried.
06:18In the morning there was nothing left but shadows and that's the truth.
06:21These are devilish devils.
06:23And gamblers too.
06:24I think I'll take a closer look.
06:27Well, that's folly.
06:30Folly or not, the soldier goes, sack on his shoulder, whistle on his lips, into the palace.
06:39And inside it's very quiet.
06:43As if the walls were holding their breath.
06:47And waiting.
06:49Tessa!
07:15Tessa!
07:15We have a visitor.
07:20A guest.
07:21And his whistle.
07:23That's a nice whistle.
07:25I want to have it.
07:27Hello.
07:28Hello!
07:31I hear you like a game of cards.
07:33I hear you like a game of cards.
07:36So, what shall we play for?
07:40His soul.
07:41His whistle.
07:42His teeth.
07:44Our collective.
07:46Fair enough.
07:48And what will you stake?
07:50We've got 40 barrels of gold.
07:52Any good?
07:53Very good.
07:56Fetch the coffers!
07:57Yes!
07:58Let's play, then.
08:10And with that, they settled down to business.
08:12The soldier dealt the cards.
08:16And won.
08:19My run, eh?
08:20And won again.
08:32Is he cheating?
08:34Well, I am.
08:35And I'm still losing.
08:37Me too.
08:38Deal again!
08:40Certainly.
08:41And he did.
08:42And he won.
08:43And the devils got into the kind of fume only devils can get in.
08:50Fume, fume, fume.
08:53He won game after game while the devils cheated to high heaven and low hell to no avail.
08:58By the first bells of morning, the 40 barrels of gold were stacked behind the chair of the soldier who whistled as he won.
09:11Well, my friends, I suppose we'd better call it a day.
09:17No, we will not!
09:19We will call it a breakfast and you the meal!
09:22First, make sure who eats who.
09:28What do you call this?
09:29It's a sack.
09:31A sack.
09:32Just a sack.
09:33Is it?
09:35Then, by the grace of God, get in it!
09:38No!
09:39No!
09:39No!
09:39No!
09:40No!
09:40No!
09:41No!
09:42No!
09:42No!
09:43No!
09:43No!
09:44No!
09:44No!
09:45No!
09:45No!
09:46No!
09:46No!
09:47No!
09:47No!
09:48No!
09:48No!
09:49No!
09:49No!
09:50No!
09:50No!
09:51No!
09:51No!
09:52No!
09:52No!
09:52No!
09:54No!
09:54No!
09:56No!
09:57No!
10:00No!
10:01No!
10:02No!
10:03No!
10:03No!
10:05No!
10:13No!
10:14No!
10:14No!
10:15No!
10:15No!
10:15No!
10:16No!
10:18No!
10:18On will that be the end of your mischief in these parts?
10:22us our place. We're past a place. Let me go. Let me go. I won't let you go, my boy, until
10:36you swear to serve me faithfully. I swear. I swear. I'll hold you to your promise. Hey,
10:43my foot's come off. That's right. Now off you go and remember where you left it. The
10:50devils rushed to hell and slammed shut the doors for fear of being followed by the soldier
10:55in his sack. And they trembled and quivered and fumed, fumed, fumed. But the soldier had
11:03no time for devils. He was the toast of the town and the star of the Tsar. But howsoever
11:10life smiles on us, the last laugh is reserved for death. Oh, yes. Everything is dandy with
11:21our friend the good soldier in his magic sack. Rewarded by the Tsar, he's a rich gentleman
11:28now, a husband and a father, lives in the castle. Blessed crest and couldn't be better. Until
11:38one day, because fate is fickle, one day, because fortune is cruel, his son falls into a terrible
11:49fever. He's worse. And they calls for quacks and apothecaries and healers. And soon the boy's
11:56room is full with grey beards and shaking of heads. But still the fever rages and the
12:03boy passes into a swoon. And, oh dear, the grey beards are replaced by priests mumbling
12:12and praying. And a man in black comes to measure a coffin. Oh, what shall we do? My lips are sore
12:21with praying. And my knees are weary of kneeling. And I've lost my whistle from worrying. It's
12:28the very devil, I say. The very devil. Now, where the devil's that devil of mine? I'm here, your
12:40excellency. Where have you sprung from? Not so much sprung as hopped, sir. You have my foot. Cure my son and you can have it back.
12:49This is my good wife, by the way. And this is my devil. How do you do? How do you do? Yes, I saw your son was ill. Let me have a look at him. Look in here, your excellency.
13:08I see a small creature. That's death, excellency. Where does he stand? At my son's feet. Ah, good. He will recover. It's when he comes to the head you must worry. Now, sprinkle some of the water from the glass on your child.
13:24Oh, you're a marvel. Well, we do our best. Could I have my foot back then? Most certainly. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Er, will there be anything else, sir? Give me that glass and I'll release you from your promise. Really? Oh, thank you.
13:53Thank you. Hmm, quite nice, black flowers. And so the soldier set up in his new trade as Miracle Man and travelled the world on a camel with his magic glass.
14:05Show him a sick man and he would hold up the glass. If death sat at the foot of the bed, a quick splish-splash and up the invalid would sit pouring out blessings.
14:17If death stood staring at the other end, the soldier would shake his head solemnly and depart and the relatives would mutter, what a pity, he came too late and pay him all the same.
14:27But as often as not, he left with all happy and amazed and praising him.
14:33And it went well for the soldier until one day, far from anywhere, he gets a message from home to say the old Tsar has fallen ill and sends for him.
14:46I've come too late.
15:00You save beggars and thieves and cats and dogs, yet you won't save your master.
15:06If death needs a new friend, I cannot fight him.
15:11Then let me go in his place.
15:15No.
15:18The Tsar has been my friend and father.
15:21If anyone should go, it should be me.
15:31Sir, take me and spare the Tsar.
15:36I beg you.
15:41The Tsar has been my friend and dad.
16:11husband? Is it all up with you? Do you know what this is? A sack. Well, if this is a
16:34sack, then get in it. Good, eh? Death a prisoner. The news whispered from one of the Tsar's 50 wives to the
16:58other spread through the town as fast as gossip, which is what it was, and nothing spreads faster.
17:03And within four and a half minutes, the whole town knew. And within seventeen minutes, the whole
17:08country knew. And by the following morning, it was the talking point of a thousand languages.
17:14Death a prisoner. Muerte un prisionero. Tote ein gefangener. Smiert us Nietzsche.
17:26I forgot the Greek.
17:28Ec melatissime tontanito. Exactly. And the soldier, to be on the safe side, set off with death in his sack
17:37and found the thickest forest and the highest tree and clambered up it and hung death from the longest
17:44branch and promptly fell off. But there's nothing like death off duty to cushion a fall.
17:50So nothing died? Nothing. The oddest battles. There were wars going on in most places and they were very
17:59strange. At the end of a day's carnage, flashing swords and explosions, the air thick with arrows and
18:06savage swoosh of axes, nobody had died. The armies would look at each other exhausted and intact.
18:13Duels at dawn went on till midnight when the rivals would go home confused. Crossed lovers would throw
18:21themselves off cliffs and have a long climb back. And my friend the soldier was the most famous man in
18:28the world because suddenly everyone could live forever. He sat in his palace and whistled his ruby
18:34whistle. And then one day, looking down from his window, he sees his courtyard full of poor souls
18:45wandering. Old scrags of folk barely held together. They were waiting, waiting for death, for death's release.
18:56And it would not come. And the soldier could not bear their sorrow. Back he went to the forest.
19:10Death? I've led you a merry dance, but now you must have me and set the world to rights.
19:17Death! Come back! But death had fear of the soldier and his sack and would not come back.
19:35He was condemned to watch while others aged and died, but death would not come for him.
19:41No, the soldier, old chipper, dried beef, lived on and on and on until he could stand it no longer.
19:53And dragged his dust and fragments across to the edge of the earth and slowly down to hell.
20:01Yes. A sinful soul comes to surrender his life.
20:14Yes. What's that you'll carry?
20:17Nothing. An old sack.
20:20A sack? Ah!
20:23Let me in! I beg you!
20:26Go away! Go on! I'll take that horrible sack with you!
20:31But where can I go?
20:33We don't care! Just dig it off!
20:41I won't go unless you give me a map to heaven and a way in!
20:48And two hundred souls you've no further use for!
20:57One hundred and fifty!
20:58Do you know what this is?
21:00Don't wave that sack around! All right, two hundred!
21:04Yuck!
21:06Follow the map until you can go no further!
21:10And then go directly up until you get the sensation of standing on your head!
21:15That's the edge of heaven!
21:17After that, follow the church music!
21:20Who approaches the gates of heaven!
21:29I am the soldier who took death prisoner!
21:33And I have brought two hundred souls from hell in the hope that God will forgive me and let me in with them!
21:39The souls may enter, but alone!
21:45Go then, and be blessed!
21:47Take this, friend, and once inside, call me into the sack!
21:59Remember, I delivered you from the furnace!
22:05But you see, there is no memory in heaven!
22:12Souls forget!
22:14The soldier waited and waited an inch from paradise!
22:19Until after a long time, forgotten, he turned and walked slowly back to earth!
22:25And for all I know, he wanders still!
22:32So sad!
22:34Oh, he's a rare boy, my friend the soldier!
22:38He's somewhere about his business!
22:40You sure?
22:44Come on, you can have your biscuit!
22:55Do you know what this is?
22:57A sack!
22:58Well, if it's a sack, then get in it!
23:04Just checking!
23:25Do you kind of have your chocolate if you should go passengers?