The Graham Norton Show - Season 33 Episode 06- Keira Knightley, Malala Yousafzai, Aimee Lou Wood, Chris McCausland, Mumford and Sons, Hozier
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00:00MUSIC
00:13Oh! Oh!
00:16Thank you very much!
00:18Oh, hello, hello, hello, good evening!
00:22Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:25Lovely to see you all.
00:27You are so welcome to the show.
00:29Hey, everyone, it's Halloween!
00:31Oh, I know!
00:33The spookiest night of the year.
00:35I couldn't be more scared if I was Alan Carr
00:37walking across a rickety bridge.
00:39LAUGHTER
00:42And that is very scared.
00:44And we've got a great line of brief tonight.
00:46Singing for us later, we've not won,
00:48but two brilliant music acts.
00:50It's Mumford & Sons with Hosier!
00:52CHEERING
00:54They're joining forces for the new single,
00:57sober band man.
00:58But first, who's joining forces on my sofa tonight?
01:00Well, he's one of the nation's favourite comedians
01:03who won the Glitterball Trophy and the BAFTA
01:05for his inspiring journey on Strictly Come Dancing.
01:07His new autobiography is called Keep Laughing.
01:10Please welcome Chris McCausland!
01:13CHEERING
01:15Hi, Chris.
01:16Good to see you.
01:17Good to see you.
01:18There you go.
01:19There you go.
01:20There you go.
01:21Whoo!
01:22This BAFTA-winning actress shot the fame in sex education
01:27and recently stole every scene as Chelsea and the White Lotus.
01:31Now she's back on the BBC with a new series of daddy issues.
01:35It's a first-time welcome to Amy Lou Wood!
01:39CHEERING
01:41Yay!
01:42CHEERING
01:44Hi, hi, hi.
01:46Hi, hi, hi.
01:47Amy Lou Wood's here.
01:49At the age of 15, this extraordinary woman
01:53survived a brutal attack by the Taliban
01:55to become an advocate for education and women's rights
01:58and a global icon,
02:00not to mention the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.
02:03Her latest memoir, Finding My Way,
02:05brings her incredible story up to date.
02:07It is a pleasure to welcome Malala Yousafzai!
02:11CHEERING
02:16Hello!
02:17So nice to see you.
02:18Come in and have a seat.
02:20I know!
02:21And we've loved this actor from her breakout role
02:26as a footballing tomboy in Bender Like Beckham
02:29to her Oscar-nominated roles in Pride and Prejudice
02:31and The Imitation Game.
02:33Now she's turned children's author with her book
02:36I Love You Just The Same.
02:38It's a warm welcome back to Keira Knightley!
02:40CHEERING
02:42Hello!
02:43Hello!
02:44It's mad and mad!
02:45Let's have a seat there!
02:46CHEERING
02:47Really nice to see you all.
02:55Welcome back to Keira and Chris.
02:57A first-time welcome to Malala and Amy.
02:59Hello!
03:00Hello!
03:01You're very welcome.
03:02Now, we've had Oscar winners and BAFTA winners,
03:04all sorts, on the show.
03:05You are the first person to sit on that couch
03:07who's won a Nobel Peace Prize, Malala.
03:10CHEERING
03:11So, how does it, like, do they bring it round on a cushion
03:17to your house?
03:18How, how do you get it?
03:20No, they just announce it on television.
03:22OK!
03:23Yeah, and I was actually at school.
03:25I was in my chemistry class and my school's deputy head teacher
03:28walked in and called me outside and she informed me
03:31that I had won the Nobel Peace Prize.
03:33Did you ask whether it was a chemistry?
03:35LAUGHTER
03:36Well, I knew I was good, but...
03:39LAUGHTER
03:40But she usually calls you when you are in trouble.
03:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:43So I was like, huh, you know, not too bad today.
03:46And then I finished my school day
03:49because I thought if you receive the Nobel Peace Prize
03:51for education, you have to finish your school day.
03:54Very wise.
03:55That's insane, to be honest.
03:56I mean, like, just...
03:57Yeah.
03:58Since the last time I was here, I've come on.
04:00I, I, I wouldn't strictly come dancing.
04:02I've won a BAFTA for it.
04:03Woo!
04:04And then you've had me, you've had me sat next to someone
04:06who's got a Nobel Peace Prize.
04:07LAUGHTER
04:10Yeah.
04:11Everything does kind of pale.
04:13It's really weird.
04:14And, er, apparently there are good vibes.
04:17This show's got to go well.
04:18Amy Lewwood, you've done research.
04:21Yes.
04:22I always do research.
04:23OK.
04:24From the stars.
04:25OK.
04:26This is a good astrological mix.
04:28Oh, is it?
04:29Yes.
04:30Very good.
04:31So you've researched us all?
04:32Yes.
04:33I mean, I might not remember now because it's scary
04:34and my mind's gone blank.
04:35OK.
04:36LAUGHTER
04:37I'm all looking at you going, go on then.
04:38Yeah, I know.
04:39Just make it up, that's what all the good ones do.
04:41Yeah, yeah.
04:42You two are Aries, right?
04:44Yes!
04:45Are you?
04:46So you bring the passion, the energy, you know,
04:49you'll keep the fire going.
04:50That's us, that's us.
04:51You're cancer, aren't you?
04:52I am cancer, yeah.
04:53You're the mother of the zodiac.
04:55Hello children.
04:56Yeah.
04:57LAUGHTER
04:58So it's a lot of nurture, and emotional intelligence,
05:03and, yeah, so, and depth.
05:05What are you?
05:06I'm an Aquarius.
05:07Oh.
05:08Yeah, which is like the weird one.
05:10Yeah, it is.
05:11Chris, you're a Gemini, aren't you?
05:13I am, yeah.
05:14Yes, we're quite similar.
05:15Aquarius and Gemini, both of them.
05:16OK.
05:17OK.
05:18Gemini's a very chatty.
05:19Gemini's a very chatty, so that's good.
05:20Yes, it is.
05:21Right.
05:22Yeah.
05:23It's a chat show.
05:24Yeah.
05:25Yeah, we're delighted.
05:26I mean, she's predicted I'm going to be chatty.
05:28LAUGHTER
05:29She's seen it in the stars.
05:30I've seen it.
05:31And can I just say, Amy Lee Wood, thank you very much
05:33for making the effort to do that.
05:34Yeah.
05:35You know, not many guests do, so thank you very much.
05:36Yeah.
05:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:39Well, listen, it's a bit of a book club tonight, because three books
05:43to talk about, as well as Amy's television show.
05:46So let's get started with Keira Knightley.
05:49She has written a children's book, a beautiful thing.
05:52It is called I Love You Just The Same.
05:55I've got an angle until we get to see the gold lettering.
05:57Nice.
05:58Yeah.
05:59It's...
06:00Good oohing.
06:01Good oohing.
06:02Thank you very much for the oohing, yes.
06:03It's out now.
06:04And so this is a children's book, but it was inspired by your own children.
06:07Yes, my own children.
06:08So my oldest daughter didn't like sleeping at all.
06:11And so she didn't sleep through the night until she was five.
06:13And as part of that, we went through, like, various different strategies.
06:17Can I just say, anyone pregnant now is going, what?
06:20Yeah, don't worry.
06:21You know, it happens, but not always.
06:23But anyway, you know, it happened with her.
06:25And so we got to a point where I would say to her,
06:28OK, at bedtime, I will draw you a picture at night.
06:31And so when you wake up, you'll see the picture
06:34and you'll know that I've been thinking about you.
06:36And so every single night she'd ask for a drawing.
06:38And it would be, like, of a bird or of a cat.
06:39And then eventually she'd be like, OK, can I be in it?
06:41Can my sister be in it?
06:42And then one day she said,
06:44Can you draw a bird and can it take the baby away?
06:48And I was like, wow, OK, yes, I can.
06:51So I drew this picture.
06:53And at the end of this five months, we had, like, I mean, so many images.
06:56And I said to her, OK, I'll put them into a book for you.
06:58And she said, no, they're boring.
06:59They're just in black and white, you know, as children do.
07:01Brilliant, OK.
07:02So I spent, like, another couple of months trying to colour them in.
07:05And then I put them up on the wall and I just kind of kept playing with them.
07:08And this story kind of came out of it of this, um, of this girl
07:13whose baby sister gets taken away by a pigeon.
07:15And she has to go on a magical adventure to find her again.
07:18Of course she does.
07:19Yes, because I had to get the baby back.
07:21And, er, and, er, I like that it's a pigeon,
07:24because apparently there's some pushback for the publishers.
07:26Yes.
07:27They thought the pigeon was not appropriate.
07:28No, they felt that it shouldn't be a pigeon
07:30and it should be a lovely, mysterious bird.
07:31I felt very strongly about the pigeon,
07:33but apparently lots of people don't like pigeons.
07:35But I, I like a pigeon.
07:36I'm a big fan of a pigeon.
07:37Yeah.
07:38So there are pigeons.
07:39And can I just say, so, you know,
07:40it's not like they didn't use your pictures.
07:41These are your pictures in the book.
07:42They are my pictures in the book, yes.
07:44And can we just admire her pigeon, frankly?
07:46Admire my pigeons.
07:53Yeah.
07:54It's so detailed.
07:56I mean, it's...
07:57It's very detailed.
07:58So it's, I actually, I draw a lot anyway.
08:00Um, and it's partly, I'm dyslexic,
08:02so I find learning lines quite difficult.
08:04So I normally record the lines that I'm doing
08:06and I listen to them and listen to them.
08:08And when I'm listening to them, I'm drawing the whole time.
08:10So I think they have to be quite detailed,
08:12otherwise the lines don't go in my head.
08:14So normally I'm drawing kind of pictures of, I don't know why,
08:16but it's old men with wrinkles.
08:18Hello.
08:19LAUGHTER
08:20Sounds like you've done it already.
08:23Yeah.
08:24So this was the first time that I've had to do something
08:26not old men with wrinkles and it had to be something other.
08:29But it was actually, I was doing it the whole time I was doing
08:31Black Dove season one.
08:33So I was...
08:34I can only just say, I'm very aware, Chris,
08:35that I'm showing illustrations that you can't see.
08:37Yeah.
08:38Because in life you use AI.
08:40Yeah, yeah.
08:41A lot of people use AI to kind of create images these days.
08:44That's what you hear about.
08:45But I use it the other way and I can use it to take photographs
08:48and it will describe things to me,
08:50whether it's just anything in a room,
08:53a drawing my daughter's done.
08:55Literally, it will describe things to me with so much more patience
08:59than any human has come to get for me.
09:02And honestly, it's...
09:07I can ask it, like if I'm shopping for something
09:09and there's like a jumper on the internet,
09:12I can get it to describe it to me.
09:14And it never says to me, I'm watching CSI,
09:17can you come back in an hour?
09:21Unlike my wife.
09:22It's phenomenal.
09:24But I get it to describe my daughter's drawings and things like that.
09:27It's really incredible.
09:29And you mentioned there you were working on this book, Kira,
09:32while you were doing Black Doves.
09:33Were you literally drawing these pictures on set?
09:36Yeah, so there was about a three-year period
09:39where I was just doodling myself.
09:40And then when we went to the publisher and they said yes,
09:43I then had about a year to do it.
09:44But they literally said yes the week I started Black Doves.
09:47So I was kind of doing the whole thing at the same time.
09:49And you still chose pigeons.
09:50I still chose pigeons.
09:51Yeah.
09:52Yes, I like pigeons.
09:54Rather than doves.
09:55Sorry, that was good.
09:56I should have done.
09:57They are, aren't they?
09:58Yeah, I think they are.
09:59But also I love the idea of this woman
10:01wandering off to draw lovely pictures of cats and flowers.
10:05It was literally that day was a pigeon day.
10:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:08We're looking at a picture of Kira covered in blood.
10:10Yeah.
10:12Yeah, I think all of the other actors on set
10:14were a bit kind of going,
10:15what on earth is going on?
10:16I'm like, here's a lovely goldfish.
10:18And here's a lovely...
10:19As I'm looking like that.
10:20It was a bit much.
10:21Well, writing, writing is in Kira Knightley's blood.
10:23Because your mother was a very successful playwright and novelist.
10:26Yeah, she was.
10:27She was a successful playwright and scriptwriter.
10:29She also wrote a couple of novels.
10:31I'm not sure that they did that well.
10:33But they were...
10:34Wow.
10:35They did make it.
10:36Sorry, here's mother.
10:37Sorry, Mum.
10:38But she would say it herself.
10:40But they did make it to the school library.
10:42And one of them was the most taken out book in our school library
10:45because it had a sexy bit in it.
10:47Oh, wow.
10:48And I didn't realise until I was like,
10:49wow, it's amazing how many people.
10:50And then suddenly I got to the sex scene
10:52and it was a sex scene written by my mother in the school library.
10:54Wow.
10:55A little bit much.
10:56Well, talking of the library,
10:57we went to the library and we found your mother's book.
10:59Oh.
11:00There you go.
11:01Is it?
11:02It's called Night Night.
11:03Night Night.
11:04There's your mum on the back.
11:05There she is.
11:06Yeah, lovely.
11:07And you're not joking.
11:08Like, it opens...
11:09Is it a sex...
11:10Is it?
11:11Because I don't remember it.
11:12I don't know.
11:13Now, somebody didn't enjoy it overly.
11:15But...
11:16What is it?
11:18We don't know what it is.
11:20It's just a stain.
11:21It's just a stain.
11:22Yes.
11:23It's a stain.
11:24It's a very mysterious stain.
11:25There's a brown stain on the front.
11:27You know.
11:28It's fine.
11:30I wonder what AI would say.
11:32Yeah.
11:37But it begins...
11:39This is literally the first sentence of your mother's book.
11:42Oh, no.
11:43Yeah.
11:44In the middle of the ballroom, in the middle of the ball, Francis began to unbutton all
11:47the tiny pearls down the front of her Cinderella ball gown.
11:50Oh.
11:51Cinderella didn't have tits with milk in.
11:53She shouted to all the other guests.
11:55Oh, no.
11:56That's the first sentence.
11:57That would do it, wouldn't it?
11:58Yeah.
11:59It's the library.
12:00Absolutely.
12:01Yeah.
12:02They loved it.
12:03We'll be returning it to...
12:05Where do we go?
12:06I think Redbridge Library we've got it from.
12:07OK, good.
12:08I like it.
12:09Yes.
12:10And maybe do something about that, I would say.
12:11LAUGHTER
12:12And putting it back on the shelves.
12:13Yeah.
12:14Maybe, yeah.
12:15Yeah.
12:16Just tip-ex that bit out.
12:17Just a reminder that Keira's book, I Love You Just The Same, is out now.
12:22Now...
12:23APPLAUSE
12:24Malala Yousafzai has a new memoir called Finding My Way, It Is Out Now.
12:35And this documents kind of the second half of your life, really,
12:40since you came to this country, isn't that right?
12:42Yeah, and this is my coming-of-age story.
12:45And these are the most personal reflections I have ever shared.
12:49This is about my time in school, in high school, when I was a lonely student,
12:54to then becoming a reckless college student.
12:58And navigating my way as a young woman.
13:01So I have shared a lot about my personal experiences, about belonging, friendships,
13:06love, mental health, and many other topics.
13:09And my hope is that when somebody reads this book, they know that they're not alone.
13:15So that's the message I want to spread.
13:17Yeah.
13:18APPLAUSE
13:20And...
13:22If you don't mind, I mean, because what happened to you,
13:25the murder attempt was sort of 15 years ago,
13:27so there might be some people who don't remember, who don't know.
13:30Can you briefly remind us of what happened and how you ended up in this country?
13:35Yeah, my life completely changed when I was only 11 years old,
13:38extremists took over our hometown.
13:41And when they announced a ban on girls' education,
13:43that's when I started doing my activism,
13:46because I knew that I could not have a future without an education.
13:49Then they attempted to kill me.
13:52I survived that attempt.
13:54And my life took a whole different pathway after that,
13:57because I was moved to the UK for my treatment.
13:59I received surgeries here.
14:01And I started my high school here.
14:03And then, you know, I felt so lucky that I went to college
14:07and I completed my degree.
14:08And that was the moment when I felt that I had won,
14:11because the people who tried to silence me
14:13and stop me from learning failed,
14:15and I actually completed my education.
14:17But I have the same dream for all of you.
14:20APPLAUSE
14:22Because, you know, in the book, you leave hospital, you go to high school,
14:27but as you say, it was when you went to university,
14:29that's when you, you kind of, not reinvent yourself,
14:31but just kind of wanted to become, you know...
14:34A normal, a normal person.
14:36Yes.
14:37And did you feel, because you know, you were so famous and known,
14:40you know, when you showed up at university,
14:42did you feel that everyone had an expectation of who Malala was going to be?
14:45A hundred percent, but I didn't want it to be that way.
14:48So that's why I remember when I was packing for university,
14:52I wanted to pack all the things that made me look like a normal college student.
14:57And I knew that if I wore my traditional shalwar kameez,
15:00the Pakistani traditional outfit, I would stand out,
15:02and then people would see me as the public figure Malala.
15:05So I wanted to wear, like, jeans and jumpers,
15:08anything that's just, like, basic and normal.
15:10So I went on Google, and I looked up, like, casual style 2017,
15:16and then I searched up Selena Gomez, casual.
15:21Now, so you, you, so you googled it.
15:23So this is Selena Gomez here.
15:25Yes.
15:26And you sent us these pictures.
15:27Yes.
15:28And I said that's Selena Gomez.
15:29And this is Malala channeling Selena.
15:30There she is.
15:31Oh, wow.
15:32It's good.
15:33We've got another one here.
15:34This is, now, when I saw that, I thought,
15:36Malala didn't wear that, did she?
15:37But she did, went very zippy.
15:38Look at you.
15:39They do.
15:40Yeah.
15:41Yeah.
15:42And when you were walking around Oxford, you know,
15:49were you very aware, were the paparazzi,
15:52or were you getting a lot of attention?
15:54I was aware that there are people sort of following me around.
15:57You know, I wanted to be a normal student in college,
16:01but, of course, I knew that if, you know,
16:03like, some people are just looking for some excuse
16:05to create a whole controversy out of it,
16:08seeing me in a club or, you know, having fun with friends.
16:11But, yeah, then a whole controversy came out
16:13that was quite surprising to me.
16:16So I was out that day for rowing,
16:19and I was wearing skinny jeans and a bomber jacket
16:22and my headscarf.
16:23That's where I was.
16:24There you are.
16:25Yeah.
16:26I regret going for rowing that day, of course,
16:28because I had signed up for everything at college.
16:31And I said, oh, let's try rowing as well,
16:33because I want to be this active student.
16:34I want to make friends.
16:35I don't want those, like, lonely high school years.
16:37And I realized that for rowing you have to be up at 5 a.m.
16:41And you need to know how to swim.
16:44And I couldn't swim at the time.
16:47But then walking back from there,
16:49somebody took a photo of me wearing skinny jeans.
16:52And I got this call from my parents telling me
16:55that they were really concerned
16:57because people are criticizing me for wearing jeans,
17:00that this is not a traditional outfit
17:03and somehow I am shaming the country and the culture.
17:06But I told my parents that I'm not in college
17:08for some pilgrimage or some, you know,
17:11cultural representation.
17:12I'm here as a student.
17:13And I reminded my dad
17:15that when my brothers came into this country,
17:17they switched to the Western clothing right away.
17:21They wear jeans and tops.
17:22But nobody criticized them.
17:24It's only women and girls who are being criticized.
17:27So it's not fair.
17:28APPLAUSE
17:31Every time that anything like that happens,
17:33you just text them a photo of the Nobel Peace Prize.
17:36LAUGHTER
17:39Yes, as I was saying.
17:40Yeah, no comment needed.
17:42But in terms of being scrutinized by, you know,
17:45the public and paparazzi, Keira Knightley, you had it,
17:48like, there was kind of a peak moment in your fame
17:51when the paparazzi just decided they were obsessed with you.
17:53Yeah.
17:54And you came up with a devious plan.
17:55Oh, yes.
17:56My devious plan was for about two years
17:58I wore exactly the same clothes every single day.
18:01LAUGHTER
18:02I mean, actually, when I was...
18:03I had, like, about four stripy T-shirts
18:05and two pairs in the same jeans.
18:06So, you know, I did actually change my clothes.
18:08But every single time I went out, it was a uniform.
18:10And if they were following me, I would just stop.
18:12So I wouldn't have anyone follow me.
18:14So I'd just stop and I'd stand there completely still.
18:16And it would be hours and hours and hours and hours.
18:20But eventually I think I'd just freak them out and they'd stop following me.
18:23Wait a minute, so would they...
18:24If you stood there, would they just continue to take pictures of you?
18:26Yeah.
18:27Yeah.
18:28For hours, five hours, one day.
18:29It was five hours stood on a thing like this.
18:31And they...
18:32And they...
18:33And...
18:34I honestly do think I freaked them out.
18:35They were like, I don't understand what's happening here.
18:37Imagine people walking past going, that statue of Keira Knightley's in a wheelchair.
18:41I like that there's something so bloody minded about it.
18:42I know it was.
18:43It was a bit.
18:44And, you know, and again, it was quite fun going, oh, this is what freaks you out.
18:57If you run away, that doesn't freak you out.
18:58But if you stand still and just stand there, completely freaks them out.
19:02Yeah.
19:03And now, the second half of Manala's book is a love story.
19:07Yes.
19:08So tell us about Asa.
19:10Yeah.
19:11I met him through some friends in college.
19:14And the moment I saw him, I knew he was a good looking guy.
19:17There he is.
19:18Can I just ask, how long does he spend doing his hair?
19:21That is some careful hair.
19:22Forever.
19:23Yeah.
19:24It's true.
19:25It's true.
19:26I mean, I'm like, why are you in the toilet for hours?
19:28Like, you know, how much gel do you need to put on your hair?
19:31Yeah.
19:32But, um...
19:33But you met him and you thought, hello.
19:35Yes.
19:36My experience was go-karting.
19:37And I had a mini crash at go-karting.
19:41And I, you know, made it into a big deal.
19:45He was beside me and I told him, I said, you don't understand.
19:49I think I had a concussion.
19:51But he was, he was trying to make me feel normal.
19:54He was being funny.
19:55He reminded me that I was driving at five miles per hour.
19:58But we immediately connected.
20:01He has a good sense of humour.
20:03He laughed at my jokes, which is important.
20:05Yes.
20:06Yes.
20:07And how difficult is it to, you know, to date Malala?
20:10Because you have security with you all the time.
20:12Yeah, I took him to this movie, Toy Story 4.
20:15And I was like, relax, you know, we're together, enjoy the popcorn.
20:19And he said, there's, like, bodyguards behind me.
20:22You want me to relax?
20:24So, yeah, I understood it from his point of view, of course.
20:27But I said, you know, just be yourself.
20:31Yeah.
20:32Forget about those men.
20:33Exactly.
20:34At any moment, just get rid of me.
20:37Yes, they, they started looking after me.
20:41Yeah.
20:42Especially after, like, the Nobel Peace Prize.
20:43Yeah.
20:44Wow.
20:45Wow.
20:46And they, is that kind of forever in your head?
20:47Do you kind of think that's it now?
20:48I've just got security?
20:49So far, yes.
20:50Yeah.
20:51So, um...
20:52Wow.
20:53And I don't want to spoil the ending of the book, but you are a married lady now.
20:56Yes.
20:57And I've suddenly been struck by a question.
20:59What star sign is Asa?
21:00He's a Virgo.
21:01Is that a good name?
21:02Very good.
21:03Yeah.
21:04Very good.
21:05I'm married to a Virgo.
21:06Okay.
21:07But he was a premature baby and he was supposed to be a Scorpio.
21:10Oh.
21:11What does that...
21:12But both would have worked for you.
21:13Yeah, I think...
21:14Yeah, both would have worked.
21:15It's maybe like a bit of a mix.
21:16He has traces of a Scorpio.
21:17Okay.
21:18That's good.
21:19That'll keep you on your toes.
21:20Yeah.
21:21Yeah.
21:22Amy Lou Wood has spoken.
21:23Yes.
21:24And Chris, you're married to a Brazilian woman.
21:27Yeah.
21:28And now you decided...
21:29No, you decided, you decided to do quite a big romantic gesture, I think, quite early
21:34on.
21:35Well, I was never good at languages as a kid in school and obviously, you know, she
21:40speaks Portuguese with her family and stuff.
21:42So I thought, well, I'm an adult now.
21:43I want to learn her language and kind of, you know, be part of that culture really.
21:49And I thought, well, I can just speak it with her when she's at home as well and I'll
21:52learn really fast and it'll progress.
21:54So, two months in, I'm learning the language and she's coming home from work.
21:59And in the end, she said, please stop.
22:02She said, I can't handle this.
22:04I'm at work all day.
22:05I'm coming home.
22:06She said, it's like speaking to a toddler.
22:08Because I was like, she came home and was like, today is Wednesday.
22:12I have bought a hat.
22:15I am a businessman from Sao Paulo.
22:20And, you know, Malala, this book, a lot of it's about you adapting kind of to Western
22:31society, but it's also a story about your parents.
22:34Yes.
22:35And how they've adapted and changed a lot.
22:38Yeah.
22:39My mom, especially, she was very new to the UK culture.
22:42She couldn't speak English initially.
22:44So she had to adjust to everything.
22:47But my mom was also, you know, very strict.
22:50She wanted me to stick to the Pakistani traditional culture.
22:54And so we, so when I met Prince Harry, we were taking a photo together.
23:03So he put his, like, arm around my shoulder, if you don't mind, like this.
23:07And my mom goes off to him.
23:09And she says, remove.
23:10Like.
23:11She just, like, shoves off his hand.
23:15And a bit of a background to this.
23:17So, you know, for my mom, it was always a concern that her daughter is safe.
23:21Because in patriarchal cultures, you know, girls are not allowed to be outside their homes or, like, to see another guy.
23:29Or, so she was just always worried.
23:32She said, I'm not ready to, like, receive another backlash and, you know, see another controversy happening.
23:36And then there was another moment where I took a picture with David Beckham.
23:40And again, we were, like, you know, standing sort of close together.
23:43And again, my parents were, like, freaking out because they were receiving calls from our conservative relatives that, you know, why is Malala standing next to a man?
23:52And I said, firstly, I'm 17.
23:55Secondly, that's David Beckham.
23:57So, like, my mom and I, like, we are becoming more of friends now.
24:05And she, you know, she's, now, like, I just like watching her focus on herself.
24:13She's learning English.
24:14She loves shopping.
24:15I mean, she's, she's at John Lewis more than at home.
24:18And, yeah, she loves Pilates.
24:21Yeah, she loves Pilates.
24:22So, she's exploring these new things.
24:24So, I'm very happy for her.
24:25And we should say that, of course, your work continues with Malala Fund and you're, you're building schools and you're, you're getting your message out there still.
24:33Yeah, we work in a lot of countries, including Afghanistan, where education is banned for girls.
24:38We're supporting online learning and underground schools.
24:42And we're also working in Pakistan, of course.
24:44We have invested more than 15 million dollars in education, um, activists.
24:50And, uh, we built a school there in my parents' village.
24:53And there was no high school for girls there.
24:56So, we wanted to make a difference in our community.
24:59And I met the first class of girls who graduated this year from that school.
25:03And it was amazing that their lives have changed completely.
25:06Wow.
25:07Uh, it's an amazing story.
25:09And Malala's book is called Finding My Way.
25:12Malala Yousafzai, everybody.
25:14Thank you so much.
25:16Um, and now, uh, Amy Lou Wood, uh, you bring us the second season of the hit sitcom Daddy Issues.
25:25So, BBC One, BBC Three and BBC iPlayer in November.
25:29So, uh, first season, it was a big hit.
25:31Yes.
25:32I'm just finding it funny that that's what's following that.
25:34I know.
25:35As I did it, I felt sorry for you.
25:38I felt sorry for you.
25:39I felt sorry for you.
25:40I was just in such a deep moment of contemplation about your amazingness.
25:43And then I was like, yes, this, this thing.
25:46More amazing than everything Malala just said followed Cinderella's tits are not full of you.
25:52Yeah, that's true.
25:54I wasn't going to dwell on that, Chris.
25:57It's a broad, it's a broad, it's a broad church.
26:02Yes, exactly.
26:03All human life is here.
26:04Yes.
26:05So, uh, Daddy Issues.
26:06Yes.
26:07Daddy Issues.
26:08It's important, Amy Lou Wood.
26:09It is very important.
26:10It matters.
26:11Uh, so, uh, first season, uh, Gemma, obviously, uh, with, with, she's pregnant.
26:16Yes.
26:17Uh, but now, uh, the baby's happened.
26:19So what's going on in Gemma's life?
26:20Babies happened.
26:21I love that.
26:22Yes, the baby's happened and she's feeling quite lost.
26:26Quite unanchored.
26:28She doesn't really know what her new identity is.
26:31She feels an amazing amount of gain from baby Sadie, but also loss of her old life.
26:37And she's missing a dad because her dad's moved out of the flat because her mum's moved in and her dad's terrified of her mum.
26:43Um, so, the cat, you, we kind of meet her when she's trying to get her dad back and, and get her mum out.
26:50And we should say her dad paid by the amazing David Morrissey.
26:52David Morrissey.
26:53Yes.
26:54He's so brilliant.
26:55And it's actually bad how funny he is.
26:58It's bad.
26:59We can't get through the day.
27:00When I can get through a day without ruining a million takes, people actually come and say,
27:05well done to me.
27:06The crew come up and go, you owned the corpse like six times today.
27:10Well done.
27:11It's just so much fun.
27:12And, of course, it's filmed in your hometown, Stockport.
27:15Yes.
27:16Yes.
27:17It's lovely.
27:18Yeah.
27:19I didn't say anything.
27:21I know.
27:22I know.
27:23I don't know why.
27:24I'm always like, Stockport jokes coming.
27:25No.
27:26Do you actually film it there or is it just set there?
27:28No, we film it there and it's, and it's really, the first season I have people coming over going like,
27:33I know your auntie.
27:34You know, it's like, it's very cosy and nice, but also we get a lot of hecklers.
27:39Whenever we film on a certain street in Stockport, it's like, what's it going to be today?
27:44So it's fun.
27:45It's like a Greek chorus.
27:47Constantly in the background.
27:49We've got a clip.
27:50This is you as Gemma sort of getting back out there after the birth of your baby.
27:54Yes.
27:55Mmm.
27:58Now that is a tasty snack.
28:00Oh, if you're getting a snack, Gemma, I would love some peanuts.
28:03Yeah.
28:04Yeah.
28:07Oh!
28:08Bye!
28:09Hey.
28:10Hi.
28:11Is your friend Bill Coyne?
28:12Mm-hmm.
28:13She's not had any tea, so...
28:16I'm Hodge.
28:17Paul Hodgson.
28:18People call me Hodge.
28:20I'm Gemma.
28:21People call me Gemma.
28:23Ah!
28:24Ow!
28:25You're having a heart attack.
28:27Oh!
28:28Well, let's hope so.
28:30So tell me about yourself then.
28:31While out working...
28:32Actually no, I can't do that, I need to whimper.
28:34Mmmm!
28:35Mmmm!
28:36Cherry!
28:37Oh!
28:38Yeah.
28:39Hi!
28:40Go, babe.
28:41My boobs are about to explode.
28:42Oh, right.
28:43Are they fake?
28:44No, you're bellend.
28:45They're full of milk.
28:46Oh my God, why?
28:47She's just had a baby and she's missed a feed.
28:50How do I make it stop?
28:51You need to get the milk out.
28:52Erm...
28:53Shall I get a pen lid and a knife?
28:55Why?
28:56Like when people's throats swell up, stab the pen lid.
28:57And a knife why but when people's throat swell up stop the pen lid in and release the pressure you want to perform a tracheotomy on her tears
29:21Like she wrote it
29:27It's written in the stars and Keira Knightley you have a personal connection with daddy issues my husband does the music
29:32He does yeah
29:38No, I live with your face in my house because he works from the house, so I've literally I've seen it all it's great
29:48Choose not to watch it. No, I've seen the first one. I have it so I don't know why a screen
29:53I've seen the first one. Yeah, but I haven't seen the second yet
30:01I've just not been sent it. Oh, I have seen the second to me
30:07Why can't I see it? I really feel like you should be able to see it
30:12Yes, I'll ask for it
30:14Yeah
30:14And er...
30:15Lala, should we go and have a drink?
30:18And Amy, here you are, back on the BBC, er, and it, I, I, you're probably very sick about talking about the White Lotus but that show, the White Lotus
30:28What? Which show?
30:29Well, I know, we did a lot of it, but like, did that, the attention that that show brought you
30:34Yes
30:34Has it kind of changed your life?
30:35Yes
30:36Yeah
30:36Yes
30:37Because like there's movies happening now and all sorts, yeah
30:39Yeah, it's very intense
30:41It's very intense, it is, people kept saying your life's gonna change, your life's gonna change
30:46And I was, I was kind of going, but I don't want it to, I just want to play this part
30:49But then, and I kind of thought everyone was being dramatic, and then I realised they weren't being dramatic
30:55It's a big, you know, I was gonna go and get coffee on my street that no one knows where I live
31:00And then all of a sudden I'm being filmed, it was just that stuff
31:03So are you, are you getting the Kira thing of people?
31:06Yeah, and I've just thought that's what I need to do, I just need to stand still
31:10You won't get your coffee, which is annoying
31:12But I, yeah, but they could just replace the coffee in my hand
31:15Oh, there you go, yeah
31:16Yeah
31:17Yeah
31:18But here's the thing, there were lots of fan theories about, you know, because we knew something bad was gonna happen
31:22Yes
31:23And there were lots of fan theories about what might have happened
31:25Yeah
31:26Somebody worked it out
31:27I did
31:28You did
31:29Okay, I've got a thing where I always guess what's gonna happen in a TV show
31:32And it causes big problems between me and my husband
31:34Of course
31:35Because quite often I'm right, and then I ruin the whole thing for him
31:38So now I have to write it down on a piece of paper and hide it somewhere
31:42So when I think about it, I write it down and then it's hidden in a book
31:45And then at the end of it, if I'm right, if I'm wrong, I just forget about it
31:48But if I'm right, I go
31:50I got it
31:51And I was right
31:52Before I killed you off, before you got killed off
31:54I was like, she's gone, she's too nice, she's gone
31:56Well done
31:57Yeah, thank you
31:58Well
31:59Didn't you guess who did the shooting?
32:01No, I didn't guess who did the shooting, but I guess the dad thing
32:04That I guess that he was the dad of the other guy
32:07Wow
32:08And I guessed that early on too
32:09Because I know Malala, you watched White Loaders as well, didn't you?
32:11Yes, but I didn't guess anything
32:15It was all a terrible surprise
32:16It was all a terrible surprise
32:17That's fine
32:18And Amy, you also had an impact on Malala
32:22Because one of your first jobs, I think you binge watched
32:25I know, sex education
32:27And I, yeah
32:29And I watched it
32:30It was so cool
32:31So cool
32:32It sounds different when you say it Malala
32:36I know
32:37Because I truly watched it as an educational show
32:40I actually learnt a lot, like honestly
32:42I'm glad to have been of service
32:43Yeah
32:46That's so cool
32:47Was that your first ever screen job?
32:49It was, yes
32:50Yes
32:51Which was quite daunting, I imagine
32:53Because to be straight out of drama school
32:55And yeah
32:56Yeah, it was very daunting
32:57And we all kept being like, it's just going to go under the radar
32:59It's just one
33:00And we're just, we're happy with that
33:01It's going to be under the radar
33:02And then it wasn't under the radar
33:03No
33:04But the good thing, you won a BAFTA for it
33:05Yes
33:06There you go
33:07Yeah
33:08Yeah
33:09Yeah
33:10Yeah
33:11Um
33:12And probably, you know
33:13Filming these things
33:14It looked fabulous
33:15You know, you were staying in a fabulous hotel
33:16You just did the women in Cabin 10
33:19Cabin 10
33:20How expensive was that superyacht you were filming on?
33:21It was something like 160 million for the superyacht
33:24Wow
33:25If you've got that in spare change
33:26You can buy that superyacht
33:27Wow
33:28And was it fabulous?
33:29I was really excited because I was like
33:30Oh, I never get to, you know, film anywhere glamorous
33:32And now it's a superyacht
33:33And there'll be champagne
33:34It'll be gorgeous
33:35And instead, it was like
33:36We were crammed together
33:37We weren't allowed to touch anything
33:38You weren't allowed to sit on anything
33:39Because it was too expensive
33:40You weren't allowed to walk on the carpets
33:42Because they were too expensive
33:43So we were all sort of like that
33:44So we were all sort of like that
33:45We weren't allowed to drink anything
33:46It was um
33:47And there was a woman whose job it was
33:49To fluff up the carpets
33:51So she was a carpet fluffer
33:53One might say
33:54Wow
33:55And if you put your toe on it
33:56Then you got hit on the back of your leg
33:57To get off the carpet
33:58To
33:59I had such hatred over this piece of carpet
34:01It was quite extraordinary
34:03But it was always fluffed
34:05Wow
34:06That's her job
34:07I mean, I think she was chairs as well
34:09So the chairs
34:10But it appeared a lot of carpet fluffing
34:13And we all know what a fluffer is traditionally
34:16Yeah
34:17If you get hired as a fluffer
34:18And then you realise
34:19You've only got to do the carpets
34:20You've been made up
34:21LAUGHTER
34:23We're not explaining Malala
34:26Erm
34:27Do you know what a fluffer is?
34:29No, leave it
34:30Where's the fluffer?
34:31Oh, OK
34:33Remember the star sign said it was going to go well
34:35Yeah, yeah, yeah
34:36Leave it
34:37Yeah, OK
34:38It's fine
34:39I think the Gemini's being too chatty
34:41Yeah
34:42Exactly
34:43Exactly
34:44Exactly
34:45Just a quick reminder
34:46AV's latest show Daddy Issues
34:48Kicks off on the BBC next month
34:51OK
34:52We...
34:53Whoo!
34:58We turn to Chris McCallson
34:59His autobiography is called Keep Laughing
35:02It is also out now
35:03And I'm struck with...
35:05You know, you are a young man, Chris
35:06So a life story, a memoir
35:08Why did you decide to do it now?
35:10I mean, Penguin asked me if I wanted to do it
35:13Towards the end of last year
35:14And then they...
35:15A stroke of genius on there
35:16They put it on sale
35:18Erm...
35:19On a pre-order
35:20Before I'd started writing anything of it
35:21LAUGHTER
35:22And there is...
35:23There is...
35:24I mean, I'm a procrastinator at the best of times
35:26There is nothing like a book being on sale
35:28That doesn't exist to make you write a book
35:29LAUGHTER
35:31LAUGHTER
35:32Yeah
35:33That would motivate you
35:34Yeah
35:35You know, I'm 48
35:36And, like, you can write a book at any...
35:38It depends what it's about, doesn't it?
35:39But, you know, there's kind of three parts to it, really, I suppose
35:43And, you know, losing me sight for 25 years
35:47Becoming a comedian
35:48And getting to do telly
35:50And then, obviously, strictly, really
35:53Which felt like a really kind of positive, good end
35:56Yeah
35:57For that kind of part of the story
35:58And I heard you talking
35:59And you thought that writing that first 25 years
36:03Was going to be the difficult bit
36:04Describing your sight getting worse
36:07Yeah, well, I mean, talking about, like, being a kid
36:09And losing me sight and stuff
36:11And I was like, well, who's want to read this?
36:13This is...
36:14And also, I'm a bloke from Liverpool
36:15Who grew up in Liverpool in the 80s
36:17I'm quite close, I dig a hole, I bury things in
36:20And I put a front on for people to see, you know
36:23And once you've kind of cried on the telly
36:25In front of 10 million people
36:27You feel a lot more open about things
36:30And so I thought that would be the hardest bit to write
36:33Because I know what I'm like
36:35But it actually ended up being, like, the most...
36:37What I thought was the most kind of interesting
36:39And original part
36:41And then, when you get to the stuff about being a comedian
36:44Which I thought would be the stuff that was easiest
36:46Because it's what I do and it's what I love
36:49And you can be really funny about being a comedian and stuff
36:52You kind of get to that bit
36:53And you go, this is the bit every comedian's got in their book
36:55So this is actually...
36:57It's harder to make this bit from an original perspective
37:00If you know what I mean
37:01Yeah
37:02Compared to the whole first bit
37:03Which is really just, you know, my own story
37:05That no one else has, really
37:07Well, as you say
37:08The book has a fabulous conclusion with your triumph on Strictly
37:11And Strictly, that is something you are justifiably really proud of, aren't you?
37:16Yeah, I mean, it's mad, you know
37:19Because it wasn't on my radar and I knew nothing about it
37:22And it was...
37:23But it's the most proud of anything I've ever been, you know
37:25And it's everything I've ever done in comedy
37:28Apart from that very first gig, which was a dare to give it a go
37:32But everything else has been incremental
37:34It's always...
37:35You know, last time I was on, Graham
37:37I was talking about making a Christmas film with Lee
37:39I'd never done a... with Lee Mack
37:41I'd never done a film before
37:42But it's still within my wheelhouse
37:44It's expanding your comedy chops, you know
37:46Yeah
37:47And doing something that's very much within what your job and your skill set is
37:51Whereas this was so far out of my comfort zone
37:53It was such an unknown
37:55And it was so intensive and consuming and terrifying
37:59The most terrifying thing I've ever done in my life
38:01And for us to kind of maintain it for four months
38:04And for it to connect with people the way that it did
38:07It's...
38:08Honestly, I couldn't... I couldn't be prouder of it, you know
38:10So, yeah
38:11It feels...
38:12Absolutely
38:13APPLAUSE
38:14And very quickly, Chris, there's a story you tell
38:20You used to do material about your daughter
38:22How old were you when this happened?
38:23Was you two or something?
38:25So the first kind of break I had on mainstream telly was live at the Apollo
38:29And I had this bit of material about my daughter being a baby
38:32And her doing a poo in the bath
38:34And she kind of noticed it floating past her
38:38And she handed it to me and asked me what it...
38:41She said, what's that, Daddy?
38:43And I had to sniff it to find out
38:45LAUGHTER
38:46And the joke was kind of...
38:50I kind of...
38:51I told the story but I kind of put myself into her head
38:53As if she knew what she was doing
38:55Like, you know, just saying to her little toy penguin
38:57Watch this Mr Penguin
38:58I'm going to ask him with its ice cream or whatever
39:01And then I did this bit of material
39:02It's the only bit of my stand-up my daughter saw
39:04Like, for years of mine when she was older
39:07And she thought that's all I did for a living
39:10She just thought I went out and I told rooms full of people
39:12That she shit in the bath
39:14LAUGHTER
39:15And then when she kind of...
39:17She learnt that, like, obviously I went out
39:19And that's how I earned money
39:21And I paid for, like, you know, food and everything
39:24And all because I went out and I told this story
39:27And she was like, God, thank God I did that shit in the bath
39:29We'd have nothing...
39:30LAUGHTER
39:32She said to me, and she must have been about ten at this point
39:35And she said to me, I said I was going out to do a gig in London
39:39And she said, can I come, Daddy? I said, no
39:41She said, when can I come? I said, when you're 18, yeah?
39:43And she said, and you can be on stage
39:45And you can tell everybody that I did a poo in the bath
39:47And then at the end I can come on and go, hey, everybody, it was me!
39:51LAUGHTER
39:53LAUGHTER
39:55I said, you're not going to feel like that when you're 18
39:58LAUGHTER
40:01Very good!
40:03APPLAUSE
40:04OK, it's time for music
40:07This Grammy-winning British band has had three number-one albums
40:10And headlined Glastonbury
40:12And are joined tonight by an Irish superstar
40:14Collaborating for the first time on their new single, Rubber Band Man
40:17It is Mumford & Sons with Hosier!
40:20APPLAUSE
40:28When you can't win for losing
40:38And the beggars start choosing the chaos in your head
40:43Calls the cracks to start showing
40:47All-knowing, all glowing with the light of the light
40:51Dying to raise the dead
40:59You're a world away
41:03But you're still the same
41:05I know you by your heart
41:08And I will call you by your name
41:10And it's a long way
41:12From a crack to the break
41:16You know that I remember everything
41:20We can't win for you
41:31Steady yourself
41:32And your tumbleweed words
41:34Be a street corner preacher
41:36Or just feed the birds
41:38But don't hold to yourself
41:40With hard mortar and stone
41:43Be a rubber band man
41:45Bake the water your bones
41:47I am just to live now
41:56You're a world away
41:59But you're still the same
42:02I know you by your heart
42:04And I will call you by your name
42:06And it's a long way
42:08From the crack to the break
42:11You know that I remember everything
42:15And I said forever
42:17You said get back in the car
42:20Nothing hurts forever baby
42:23You know it breaks my heart
42:24And I'll call you anything
42:30That you like
42:34And I am free
42:41And I'm able
42:44To call you the second
42:48That you died
42:52Just to live now
42:59You're a world away
43:02But you're still the same
43:05I know you by your heart
43:07And I will call you by your name
43:09And it's a long way
43:11From the crack to the break
43:14You know that I remember everything
43:18And I said forever
43:21You should get back in the car
43:24Nothing lasts forever baby
43:26No, it breaks my heart
43:28And you're a world away
43:30But you're still the same
43:33You know that I remember everything
43:37And you wink on your skin
43:44Red lips in the dark
43:46Nothing lasts forever baby
43:49You know it breaks my heart
43:51Put a shiver on your skin
43:53Do your hair in the car
43:56If nothing lasts forever baby
43:58Can we make a start
44:00Oh
44:02Wow
44:04Wow
44:05My foot and drag
44:06With Hosier
44:07Beautiful job
44:10I think Marcus and Hosier
44:11Are coming over to see us
44:13Come on over there you go
44:16Hi Marcus
44:19Oh really nice to see you again
44:21Oh that's Chris McCrosley
44:23Oh that's Chris McCrosley
44:24Oh I don't know
44:25Hosier can be in
44:26Amy LaGourne
44:27Malala
44:28Kira
44:29That's Marcus
44:30And Hosier
44:31There you go
44:34Have a seat too
44:36Have a seat too
44:37There you go
44:38Lovely
44:40Thank you so much for that performance
44:41What a gorgeous gorgeous thing
44:43And star signs
44:45Star signs
44:47And Pisces
44:49Oh yes
44:49My boyfriend thought you were a Pisces
44:54Okay
44:54What does that mean he's going to sing a song
44:57Oh yeah they are the dreamers
45:01They are the dreamers
45:03Marcus what are you
45:04Aquarius
45:05Same
45:06What does that mean
45:07Weird
45:07Cool
45:08It's really worked out so far
45:12I have to say
45:14That rubber band man
45:15Is off this just announced album
45:18Prizefighter
45:19I haven't seen that yet
45:20That looks wicked
45:21That's how new it is
45:22So how did it happen
45:25How did the two of you get together
45:26The band and you get together
45:28Yeah
45:28It was our first collaboration on record
45:30We've known each other for a long time
45:32We've collaborated live a number of times
45:34Oh
45:35Friends for a long time
45:36And then we sent Andrew a bunch of demos
45:39And then we sent Andrew a bunch of demos
45:39For this new record we were working on
45:41Yeah
45:42And you listened
45:43And gave some notes
45:45No
45:45I sent the entire album in fact
45:48Which was like
45:48I think that's so rare when you do a collab like this
45:51And to be given the whole body of work
45:53And I think you would just say just listen through
45:55And if there's something that connects
45:56That you connect with as well
45:58If there's a song that you love
45:59And so it was a real treat
46:00I got to listen to
46:01And why this song?
46:02I just love the
46:03I think the lyrics are stunning
46:05I didn't even know
46:06Where the
46:07Oh yeah
46:08So this is
46:09There's a weird story behind the lyrics
46:10Of this song
46:11Tell us
46:11It's very Aquarius actually
46:12Oh yeah
46:13I think I get that
46:15I get it
46:15Um
46:17Brandy Carlisle
46:18Who's a mutual friend of ours
46:19Love Brandy Carlisle
46:20Who we love
46:20Um
46:21I think she had a dream about me
46:23In a non-weird way
46:25And um
46:27And wrote
46:28Wrote me a text message
46:29With a bunch of lyrics
46:30Which became the verse
46:32For Rubber Band Man
46:33She's like
46:34She's like a sister
46:35To many of us
46:36Yeah
46:36And sort of like a soothsayer as well
46:39And she had these words
46:40That she felt were for me
46:42And it was the verse lyrics
46:44For Rubber Band Man
46:44So I turned it into a song
46:45Wow
46:46Yeah
46:46And a very nice time for a host here
46:48Because you've just finished
46:49A very long tour
46:51Yes
46:51Yeah
46:52I've been out of a suitcase
46:53Just about three years
46:54Maybe just over three years
46:55Yeah
46:56So
46:56So I'm winding down
46:58And the guys are getting ready
46:59For a
46:59Like a hurricane
47:00It's very sweet of him
47:01To be up for this
47:02Yeah
47:02But no
47:03It's a nice
47:03It's like
47:03It's like
47:04It's supposed to be on your holidays
47:05Delighted
47:05No
47:05It's just a nice little thing to do
47:07And as you say
47:07Mark
47:08You're touring this year
47:08And it goes right into next year
47:10Yeah
47:10It's no three year tour though
47:12Is it
47:12Well
47:12Not
47:13Well
47:13Not yet
47:14Yeah
47:15Oh yeah
47:16You're getting there
47:17Listen
47:17We've loved having you on the show
47:19Thank you so much
47:20For that
47:20Performance
47:21And good luck
47:22With the collaboration
47:22And the new album
47:23Very good
47:24Right
47:28That is nearly it
47:30Before we go
47:31And it's just time
47:32For a quick visit
47:32To the big red chair
47:34Who do we have
47:35Hello
47:35Hello
47:36Hi
47:36What's your name
47:37I'm Jennifer
47:38Jennifer
47:38Lovely
47:39Where are you from Jennifer
47:40Central New York State
47:41Okay
47:42Central New York State
47:43Very specific
47:44I like it
47:45If I do on a map
47:46And do you live there still
47:47Or live here
47:48No
47:48No
47:49I live there
47:49Oh right
47:50So you're just on holiday
47:51Yep
47:51Yeah
47:52We just arrived this morning
47:53Oh my goodness
47:54Wow
47:54How long are you staying for
47:55A week
47:56Okay
47:57Touring around
47:58Or just in London
47:59No we're going to tour around
48:00A little bit
48:00Okay
48:01Where are you heading
48:01From here we're going to head up
48:03To the Cotswolds
48:04For a few days
48:05What a lovely idea
48:06Off you go with your story
48:11Okay
48:12So I'm a veterinarian
48:14And one day this guy
48:16Brings his dog in to see me
48:18Because he's been vomiting
48:19The dog's been vomiting
48:20And I do some diagnostics
48:21And I ascertain that this dog
48:22Has something stuck
48:24In a small intestine
48:25And needs surgery
48:25So I take the dog to surgery
48:27Remove what it is
48:29That's blocking him
48:30And the next day
48:32I'm getting the dog
48:32Ready to go home
48:33The wife comes in
48:34To pick him up
48:35And I give the dog
48:37The owner
48:38What I took out
48:39Of the dog's intestines
48:40Which was a pair
48:41Of women's panties
48:42And they're not
48:44Minivan panties
48:45They are Lamborghini panties
48:47And so I give her
48:49These panties
48:50In the plastic bag
48:51And I said
48:51This is what
48:52You paid for essentially
48:53And she looked at them
48:55And she said
48:56These aren't my underwear
48:57Great story
49:01There you go
49:02You can walk
49:03I can walk
49:04I'm not even done
49:05I can walk
49:05Oh is there more to it?
49:06Oh there's more
49:07Oh let's go with the more
49:08Yes
49:09So it's me
49:11The dog
49:11And this homicidal woman
49:12And I look at the dog
49:14And I'm thinking
49:15Buddy
49:15I don't know
49:16Who's going to get you
49:17In the divorce
49:18But you ain't no man's
49:21Best friend right now
49:22You can walk
49:23You can walk
49:24Go go go go
49:24Lovely
49:27And that's really all
49:30We've got time for
49:30Do you have to go
49:31On the red show yourself
49:32And tell your story
49:33Contact us via our website
49:34This is very addressed
49:35And please say huge
49:35Thank you to all of our guests
49:36Mumford and Dungeons and Hoesier
49:38Chris McCausland
49:42Amy LeWood
49:45Malala Yousafzai
49:48And Keira Knightley
49:52Join me next week
49:55With pop superstar Ed Sheeran
49:57Comedian Jack Whitehall
49:58Saltburn star Rosamund Pike
50:00And Hollywood leading man
50:01Glenn Powell
50:02I'll see you then
50:03Good night everybody
50:03Bye
50:03Ghost hunting in some
50:10Of the nation's
50:11Spookiest places
50:12Daisy Mae
50:13And Charlie Cooper's
50:14Nightwatch
50:15Spirits and giggles
50:16With the siblings about
50:17Press red now
50:18In ex-RuPaul's Drag Race UK
50:33Users have a friend
50:35Silence
50:35You should take off
50:36Keyword
50:38In ex-RuPaul's Drag Race UK
50:39Please tell them
50:41From the ŃŠ°ŠŗŠ¾Šµ
50:42faut-
50:44vice versa
50:45Yes
50:46You should play
50:48On ma
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