- 5 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:19Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:22Just play along.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58Do you want me to stop?
00:00:59Tell me now.
00:01:00I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:07I don't want you to stop.
00:01:09I don't want you to stop.
00:01:13I don't want you to stop.
00:01:15I don't want you to stop.
00:01:18I don't want you to stop.
00:01:20I don't want you to stop.
00:01:24I don't want you to stop.
00:01:26I don't want you to stop.
00:01:30I don't want you to stop.
00:01:32I don't want you to stop.
00:01:35I don't want you to stop.
00:01:37I don't want you to stop.
00:01:41I don't want you to stop.
00:01:43I don't want you to stop.
00:01:47I don't want you to stop.
00:01:49I don't want you to stop.
00:01:50I don't want you to stop.
00:01:52I don't want you to stop.
00:01:54I don't want you to stop.
00:01:55I don't want you to stop.
00:01:56I understand.
00:01:57I don't want you to stop.
00:01:58I don't want you to stop.
00:02:00Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:07Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:10I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:15I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:26Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:29And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:45I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:53Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:55And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:57We can't have her know you, the Harrison Group CEO, or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:11I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:27Where's my real one?
00:03:28I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:39Daddy!
00:03:49No!
00:03:49Whoa!
00:03:56Daddy!
00:03:57No!
00:03:58I'm sorry.
00:04:00I'm not your dad.
00:04:01No, I know you're my daddy.
00:04:03Just as handsome as I have.
00:04:05Oh.
00:04:06Mommy, hurry!
00:04:06Your fit Christmas husband has arrived.
00:04:16I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:19He's gorgeous.
00:04:26Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:30She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:31Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:35So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:38See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Piper.
00:04:42What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess Mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:04:58So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:12That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:22Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown, and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:27And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:06:02Wow.
00:06:03Clean up nice.
00:06:04It is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:06Pictures.
00:06:15Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:36Touching.
00:06:40Okay.
00:06:41I think we got it.
00:06:43Oh.
00:06:44I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:46To prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
00:06:50Yeah.
00:06:51Of course.
00:06:51Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:03From my family to you.
00:07:05Bad news, boss.
00:07:14The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:18Wait, she bailed.
00:07:20Then who is...
00:07:21Who is she?
00:07:26Whatever.
00:07:27It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:32Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:34I already found someone.
00:07:35I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:45Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake-it-to-your-family plan, I think I should
00:07:53have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It will make it more believable.
00:07:56It will make it more believable.
00:07:59Fine.
00:08:00Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:12Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:14Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:19Oh!
00:08:21What the actual fuck?
00:08:26Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:43So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Here, let me get this.
00:08:51I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:52Oh, so I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:03in front of them.
00:09:05Okay.
00:09:06Should we use our tongues or?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:10And absolutely no.
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:14This is strictly business.
00:09:16Anything physical outside of that is not happening.
00:09:19What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:24I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:30Let's go.
00:09:37Here.
00:09:38What are you doing?
00:09:39I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:41Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:50Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies?
00:09:55Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies, did I hear this right?
00:09:58They're the best kind.
00:10:00Hurry up and go.
00:10:00Go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:04Hello there.
00:10:05Hi.
00:10:05You ready?
00:10:06Yes.
00:10:06Yeah, just these things.
00:10:07Okay, great.
00:10:08We have a holiday special today.
00:10:11Spend $500, get 10% off, and you are just short $15 if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:16Oh, great.
00:10:17Yeah, what do you have that's just $15?
00:10:20Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:22I just got here.
00:10:24Relax.
00:10:25Yeah, yeah.
00:10:28Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:30Okay, thank you.
00:10:33Hurry up and pay.
00:10:34I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:39You can wait your turn.
00:10:45Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:53Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:54Not the pies, not the pies.
00:10:55You can just set those on top.
00:11:01Hi, guys.
00:11:02And I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:09Of course.
00:11:11Thank you so much.
00:11:12Of course.
00:11:12I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:15She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:16Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:18Just to give it away.
00:11:21Merry Christmas.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:28What?
00:11:28You do that often?
00:11:29As often as I can.
00:11:36We should go.
00:11:37We gotta pick up paper.
00:11:41Sit, watch out.
00:11:42You done feeling me up?
00:12:04Shut up.
00:12:05Sorry, I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:07Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:15And don't be late.
00:12:16Okay.
00:12:16And don't be late.
00:12:16Harrison Group?
00:12:29Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:32Sort of.
00:12:33Not that I'm judging.
00:12:34I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:38Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:42I think that's respectable.
00:12:45Can we pick another company?
00:12:47No.
00:12:48Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:50And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:51My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:53So, it's perfect.
00:12:54Oh, and, uh, wear something nice for Christmas dinner.
00:13:02Don't worry.
00:13:03Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:04I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:08Too much.
00:13:08Let's go, Sam.
00:13:30It's time to check out the new HQ side.
00:13:33Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:36It's my daughter's.
00:13:40Daughter's.
00:13:41Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:59Hey, there they are!
00:14:01Hey!
00:14:01Nice to meet you!
00:14:03Oh, Dad.
00:14:05Aren't you maybe?
00:14:06Oh, I missed you.
00:14:08So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:12He's coming.
00:14:13Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:15Good, good, good.
00:14:18So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:21When's he arriving?
00:14:23Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:28Poor thing.
00:14:28Not surprising.
00:14:29I mean, she's 30.
00:14:31Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:34Plus, a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:38This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:44Auntie Pamela?
00:14:45Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:49We're only worried about you.
00:14:51All these years without a husband.
00:14:54Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:56You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:59And look what happened.
00:15:00She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:04I'm not alone.
00:15:05And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:11He's a manager.
00:15:13Manager?
00:15:15Of what?
00:15:16Trash.
00:15:18Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:22You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:25Actually, he's right here.
00:15:30Oh, wow.
00:15:33Wow.
00:15:34He is really good looking.
00:15:37Ah, must be AI.
00:15:39Mm-hmm.
00:15:40Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:43Fake.
00:15:43That's enough.
00:15:44She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:47Show some respect.
00:15:48Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned him down?
00:15:55Well, guess what?
00:15:57William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:59Makes 500 grand a year.
00:16:02That's half a million.
00:16:04Half a million.
00:16:06Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:10And speak of the devil.
00:16:14Willie, you made it.
00:16:17There you are.
00:16:28Oh, look at you now.
00:16:31Living the dream.
00:16:33Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:35Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:40So married, huh?
00:16:42Is it serious?
00:16:45That's what marriage is.
00:16:46It's pretty serious.
00:16:48Wow.
00:16:49You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:52Makes sense, though.
00:16:53You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:56Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:58Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:01Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:05That's right.
00:17:06Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:10Women love a man in red.
00:17:13Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:15When I sit on my lap.
00:17:18Don't touch me.
00:17:18Oh, so entitled.
00:17:21Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:25And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:29I mean, look at that car.
00:17:31Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:35Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:38Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:43I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:48My mom would never marry.
00:17:52She already has a husband.
00:17:53He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:58Is that so?
00:18:00Well, then, where is he?
00:18:02Because I don't see him.
00:18:04Does anyone see him?
00:18:08Now, just like I thought, telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:13That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:15And let me show you what happens to the naughty children.
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:22Mommy.
00:18:23Is he okay?
00:18:25See your hands.
00:18:26Oh, my God.
00:18:27I'm going to take her in and get her packed stuff, okay?
00:18:29Come on, honey.
00:18:30Let's go.
00:18:32What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:35How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:39Let me go.
00:18:40Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:45Let me go.
00:19:00Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:04Max, you came.
00:19:09How are you, sweetie?
00:19:13Where's Piper?
00:19:15William Hitter.
00:19:17Mom, Deadhut, take her inside.
00:19:18Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:21Well, well, well.
00:19:23If it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:26That's right.
00:19:28Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:30Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:35It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:36I'm Max.
00:19:37Eva told us all about you.
00:19:39From New York.
00:19:40Polite.
00:19:41Handsome.
00:19:42Just like she said.
00:19:44Wow.
00:19:45He was an AI.
00:19:47See?
00:19:47He's real.
00:19:49And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:52Son of a bitch!
00:19:53You just ruined my suit!
00:19:54And watch the way that you drive that...
00:19:56that pristine automobile.
00:19:58That car?
00:20:00Oh, my God.
00:20:02That's worth more than a house!
00:20:04That car?
00:20:05It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:10Wait.
00:20:11Are you?
00:20:16Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:19And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:21I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:24You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:25You stole it!
00:20:27That car belongs to the CEO of my company!
00:20:29Jesus!
00:20:30How did he get away with it?
00:20:32That's what I want to know.
00:20:34Enough!
00:20:34Please!
00:20:37I trust my daughter.
00:20:39She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:42Max, be honest with me.
00:20:44Where did that car come from?
00:20:47How much did you want for it?
00:20:48I'll pay you more money than you'd make it three lifetimes.
00:20:52Sir, you need a breath, man.
00:20:57All right, that's it!
00:20:58I'm calling the cops!
00:20:59Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:01Wait.
00:21:02What?
00:21:03Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:06Oh, well.
00:21:08Too late.
00:21:09Listen, hon.
00:21:16I believe you.
00:21:18But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:22Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:23It's my car.
00:21:24Okay?
00:21:24It's not stolen.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:29Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:32Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:34Okay.
00:21:34I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:36But then you have to get lost.
00:21:37And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:41Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:43Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:45Loser!
00:21:46Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:51Jesus.
00:21:52Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:54It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:58Here.
00:21:59Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:00Mr. Harrison?
00:22:12Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:18Just play alone.
00:22:20Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:22Now get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:25Yes, sir!
00:22:27I'm so sorry, sir!
00:22:29Please, please, please, please, please.
00:22:30Please.
00:22:31Please.
00:22:41Oh, that William.
00:22:44What a jerk, huh?
00:22:45He fooled me.
00:22:47What can I say?
00:22:48Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:52Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:54Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:55We were just looking out for you.
00:22:57Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:22:59You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:01Soon.
00:23:02Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:06A job at the Harrison Group even in the mailroom would open doors.
00:23:11We are family, aren't we?
00:23:13Family takes care of each other.
00:23:16If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:20Abigail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:23:24Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:27Yeah.
00:23:28I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:30My daughter is just far too busy for your best life for my new son-in-law.
00:23:36Come on, guys, let's go in.
00:23:38Welcome to the family.
00:23:42Welcome.
00:23:43Come on in.
00:23:44Come on in.
00:23:44This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:50You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:53My fault.
00:23:54You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:57Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:10And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:12And how do you...
00:24:12I told you, I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:15I have a friend in high places.
00:24:18A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:22Yes.
00:24:23It's the season of giving.
00:24:25He knows people.
00:24:27Has connections.
00:24:28He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:30You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:32Yeah, and you best not forget it, capisce?
00:24:34Oh, my God, just don't blow your cover.
00:24:38Dad!
00:24:38Mom!
00:24:40Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:43Oh, honey.
00:24:44We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:49I think they get it, hon.
00:24:52Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:55Oh, she's fine.
00:24:56One of you guys just gets settled in, and we will go check on her.
00:25:00And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:05Great.
00:25:06See you in a bit.
00:25:07Show me?
00:25:08What are you doing?
00:25:11Okay.
00:25:13Hey, was that not a breach of contract?
00:25:19Relax.
00:25:19It was just a hug.
00:25:22Ugh.
00:25:24We just got here, and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:26You'll be okay.
00:25:28It's just one week.
00:25:29Kill me now.
00:25:30Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:32What are you doing?
00:25:38It was weird.
00:25:41They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:43I don't know.
00:25:44Something just feels off.
00:25:45Come on.
00:25:46This is ridiculous.
00:25:47I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:49Make them promise to prove it?
00:25:52I don't want this.
00:25:53Mm-mm.
00:25:54Later.
00:25:54Let's go.
00:26:01Here we go.
00:26:04Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:06Everything looks amazing, and happy holidays.
00:26:08To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:12Aw.
00:26:13Welcome.
00:26:14Cheers.
00:26:15Thank you, Ms. Smith.
00:26:16Looks great.
00:26:17Aw, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:19I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:24But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:28Mm.
00:26:28Oh, no.
00:26:29Mom's testing him.
00:26:30She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:32You mean to tell me you two are married, and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite
00:26:35food?
00:26:39Ow.
00:26:40Eva, sweetie.
00:26:42Kicking my foot.
00:26:43Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:45Oh, jeez.
00:26:47It's okay.
00:26:49Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:50I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:5212 pumpkin pies.
00:27:06Did I hear this right?
00:27:08They're the best kind.
00:27:10Well, of course.
00:27:11It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:13See?
00:27:15Are you happy now?
00:27:16That's good, but something still feels off.
00:27:18Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:21We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each
00:27:27other, but our marriage is real.
00:27:29I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:33Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:37Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:40Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:44Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:47I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:50Well, um, it's...
00:27:53Silly face.
00:27:54Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:56Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:59Silly face.
00:28:01I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:03Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:06Those are losers.
00:28:07It's nice.
00:28:09You can afford this on a waste manager's salary.
00:28:12Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:15And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:18I'll drink to that.
00:28:20I agree with you there.
00:28:21So, come on, guys.
00:28:23Let's eat.
00:28:23Come on.
00:28:24And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:39I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:42Nice and festive for you.
00:28:44No complications, right?
00:28:46Sorry, honey.
00:28:47Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:48I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:50Oh, honey.
00:28:51Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:55Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:57The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:58Something about water conservation.
00:29:01That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0315 minutes?
00:29:05Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:06Just shower together.
00:29:09Shower together?
00:29:13Just shower together.
00:29:14Okay, you guys.
00:29:15Have a good night, okay?
00:29:16Well, you heard her.
00:29:42Oh, whoa!
00:29:44Why are you stripping?
00:29:46Well, I can't take a shower when you're closed on.
00:29:49Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:50You have 15 minutes.
00:29:51Nice try.
00:29:52I am not showering with you.
00:29:54All right, suit yourself.
00:29:55More room for me in there.
00:29:57Not if I meet you there first.
00:29:58Come on, Max.
00:30:16Get out of the way.
00:30:18We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:20You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:22Relax.
00:30:23I won't touch you unless you say you want me to.
00:30:29But that'll cost extra.
00:30:30Yeah.
00:30:39In your dreams.
00:30:42Free to join me.
00:30:43You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:31:07You wish.
00:31:07Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:10Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:12It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:15Oh, yeah?
00:31:16True.
00:31:16Holy shit.
00:31:32Oh, this is, I'm, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:37I'll say.
00:31:38What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:42Still think you can resist?
00:31:44Oh, baby.
00:31:45I don't think I want to.
00:31:52Max, I shouldn't.
00:31:56Or maybe we should.
00:31:59God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:01Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:10Oh, we're so sexy.
00:32:13Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:23What?
00:32:24I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:26It's not you, Max.
00:32:27It's us.
00:32:28It's this.
00:32:28This is all an act.
00:32:29Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:32You're right.
00:32:35I'm sorry.
00:32:36I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:37That birthmark.
00:32:52What is that?
00:32:55It's him.
00:32:56The man from New Year's.
00:32:57Is he Piper's father?
00:33:02Why are you acting?
00:33:06Oh, my God.
00:33:07Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:11Yeah.
00:33:12I just, um...
00:33:14I just got lightheaded.
00:33:15I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:17Alone.
00:33:18Of course.
00:33:23We have a daughter together.
00:33:25Oh, my God.
00:33:27What do I do?
00:33:34I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:33:36You can take the bed.
00:33:38Thanks.
00:33:38Hey.
00:33:42Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:44Look, fake marriage aside, I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:48So if there's something you need, I can help.
00:33:51I want to help.
00:33:52He's Piper's father.
00:33:54He has a right to know.
00:33:56Um, Max.
00:33:59How would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:06A child?
00:34:08No, no, no.
00:34:09That's impossible.
00:34:10I'm very careful.
00:34:13Mostly.
00:34:15I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:18Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends.
00:34:23You know?
00:34:24Right.
00:34:26He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:28I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:31Why do you ask?
00:34:33No reason.
00:34:33I'm just curious.
00:34:35You know, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What?
00:34:41No.
00:34:42Well, then, can I ask you a question?
00:34:45Shoot.
00:34:46Where did you get these?
00:34:52And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those.
00:34:57I don't know where those came from.
00:34:58Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:35:02get them down.
00:35:05Give me the...
00:35:06Give me the...
00:35:06Give me...
00:35:07Give me the...
00:35:07Woo!
00:35:11Oh.
00:35:18Eva.
00:35:20The truth is...
00:35:21Is that I...
00:35:24Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:27Just a second.
00:35:28Come in!
00:35:30Hey, Helen.
00:35:31Oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:35:48Think you can take this one, Dad? We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:52I can see that.
00:35:54Well, why don't I read it to her? I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:57Well, I had a boy. You know what? Just put a shirt on. I'm going to go get her.
00:36:03Piper! Here comes Grandpa!
00:36:08He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.
00:36:15But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
00:36:23If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:36:30Good night, Piper.
00:36:35Is her dad still around?
00:36:37Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you are her dad.
00:36:42Uh, no.
00:36:43That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:36:48Do you really think so?
00:36:53From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:56Maybe I should tell him. He deserves to know.
00:37:05Max.
00:37:05You're Piper's father.
00:37:18I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:19I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:35Where's Piper?
00:37:46She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:37:48God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:05Just going to kiss and run?
00:38:17Not on my watch.
00:38:21Yeah, this.
00:38:24I remember this.
00:38:25Good morning, you two lovebugs.
00:38:38How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:41Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:42It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:44Wonderful.
00:38:45Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:49Oh, no.
00:38:50What is that?
00:38:51Sardines and saltines.
00:38:52It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:55It was my gram gram's favorite during wartime.
00:38:58Don't be shy.
00:38:58Go ahead and grab a handful.
00:39:01Max, you don't have to.
00:39:02No, no.
00:39:03It's okay.
00:39:05Smith family staple.
00:39:16Yeah.
00:39:22Good?
00:39:27Mmm.
00:39:28Good?
00:39:29Scrunchy.
00:39:31Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:33You got to go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:36Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:39That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda in her brood this year.
00:39:43What's the deal with them?
00:39:44Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:47Says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:39:49Hey, don't worry.
00:39:53I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:57Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:40:01Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:40:04Okay.
00:40:04Wait, that earring.
00:40:18Wait, that earring.
00:40:20You like it?
00:40:22I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:24Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:27I don't really remember the details, but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:33Right.
00:40:34Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:36Anyone can have it.
00:40:37Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:39She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:43So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:48But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:50What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:54An aging single mom.
00:40:57Slim pickings.
00:40:58I heard he's in waste management.
00:41:00That explains it.
00:41:02She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:41:05Oh, please, Miranda.
00:41:06Look, Ava is your niece.
00:41:08Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:41:10Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:14Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:15Exactly.
00:41:16Not like my Sierra, married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:23Oh, they're here.
00:41:26Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:32Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:34Merry Christmas.
00:41:36You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:38I am.
00:41:39I'm Ava's husband.
00:41:40Max.
00:41:41Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:42Welcome.
00:41:42You're Ava's husband.
00:41:44But you're gorgeous.
00:41:48But what is handsome as you?
00:41:51Look at you two.
00:41:52You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:54Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:55Merry Christmas.
00:41:57This is from Max and I.
00:41:59Oh, my goodness.
00:42:00Thank you, Ava.
00:42:00Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:42:03Oops.
00:42:04Oh, my bad.
00:42:05Ooh, a homemade gift.
00:42:08How thrifty.
00:42:09Andy, not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:42:12Mommy's right, you mean old hat.
00:42:15You little.
00:42:17You will not lay a hand on my daughter, or you will lose yours.
00:42:22Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:25Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:27My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:30He could ruin your life.
00:42:32Honey, are you OK?
00:42:46I'm fine.
00:42:46I'm just wet, honey.
00:42:48Yeah.
00:42:48It's OK.
00:42:49It's OK.
00:42:52What are you?
00:42:54Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:57Did you just slap me?
00:42:59Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:43:01You're a fucking psycho.
00:43:03You know what, Sierra?
00:43:03I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:43:09Her family.
00:43:10She needs me.
00:43:16You OK, honey?
00:43:17Do I look OK to you, dumbass?
00:43:20Do something.
00:43:21You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:23I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:25Oh, wow.
00:43:26I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:32Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:35Let's call him.
00:43:36I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:39Please.
00:43:40Who do you think you are?
00:43:42Enough!
00:43:42There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:48Fine, Dad.
00:43:49Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:51They're just jealous.
00:43:54For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:56I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:44:00I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:44:04Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:44:05All right, that's enough.
00:44:07Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:09Is this a joke?
00:44:31Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:33Hold it.
00:44:34Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:36My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:39King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:51Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:55And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:57It's just petty.
00:44:58Maybe so.
00:45:00But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:45:03Fine.
00:45:05Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:45:07Come on, let's go.
00:45:08No, no.
00:45:09Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:12Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:15I know, dear.
00:45:17I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:23Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:24What was that?
00:45:25I just want to have our family together.
00:45:32Fine.
00:45:33We'll stay.
00:45:34Can I have a little napole?
00:45:36It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:38We'll get something right after.
00:45:40Like drive-thru?
00:45:42I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:44That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:49No strays.
00:45:50Ow.
00:45:51Sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:52Yes, I'm fine.
00:45:53You hit my child.
00:45:55You're fucking crazy.
00:45:57Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:46:04Don't worry, baby.
00:46:05I'll handle it.
00:46:08Don't worry, baby.
00:46:10I'll handle it.
00:46:14Piper.
00:46:15Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:19Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:23Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:25As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:28Actually, I do.
00:46:30He's such a liar.
00:46:32This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:33Oh, it will be.
00:46:37Sam.
00:46:38Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:42I'm already on my way.
00:46:47Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:50I'm already on my way.
00:46:53You hear this guy?
00:46:54He wants the best king crab in the world from Antarctica.
00:46:59Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:47:01His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:47:04Max, what are you doing?
00:47:06Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:47:08Santa's already on his way.
00:47:09Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:19A helicopter?
00:47:26There's no way.
00:47:33How did you pull this off?
00:47:35Sam is like family.
00:47:36I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:47:37Thanks, boss.
00:47:39Boss?
00:47:41Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:43Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:45Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:49I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:52You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:56Mm-hmm.
00:47:59Come on.
00:47:59Harrison, you can stop kidding around.
00:48:03If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:48:07No, I actually am the CEO.
00:48:09Come on.
00:48:09You can stop the charade.
00:48:11Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:48:14Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:17Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:20Come on.
00:48:22How is this possible?
00:48:32This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:39Who are you?
00:48:40I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:43That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:46Wait, no.
00:48:47Hold on.
00:48:49You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:54You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:56Hmm.
00:48:57Some of the small ones.
00:48:59I mean, you know that.
00:49:00You work for me.
00:49:02Oh, God.
00:49:03I insulted my own boss.
00:49:05I'm finished.
00:49:06Oh, God.
00:49:12I insulted my own boss.
00:49:14I'm finished.
00:49:15Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:17Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:20Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:21For tonight, your feast ends.
00:49:24And with that, your career.
00:49:27You're fired.
00:49:28Fired?
00:49:29Sam.
00:49:34Fired?
00:49:35Oh, God.
00:49:35I can't be fired.
00:49:38What?
00:49:39Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:41You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:43Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:44I'll do anything.
00:49:46Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:53And you.
00:49:54Oh, me?
00:49:56Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:58That was a Christmas joke.
00:50:00A family tradition.
00:50:01Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:50:03Sam.
00:50:09Will you do me the honors?
00:50:12Gladly.
00:50:16Merry Christmas, Evelyn.
00:50:20Father, do something.
00:50:23Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:25I'm leaving.
00:50:27Pumpkin, my favorite.
00:50:28Come on, sweetie.
00:50:36Daddy had this crab line just for you.
00:50:38Eat as much as you want.
00:50:39Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:44I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:46I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:48Honestly, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:52Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:54Just like this.
00:50:56Does he really mean that?
00:50:57Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:59I can't tell.
00:51:01And that terrifies me.
00:51:07Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:51:09I brought you a gift.
00:51:10Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:51:12Oh, this is wonderful.
00:51:21Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:24Tell me everything.
00:51:25Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:51:31Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:35A high school dropout?
00:51:37In the Harrison family?
00:51:39Not a chance.
00:51:40She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:47Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:48Silence.
00:51:49Get me the address where she works.
00:51:51It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:53That's nice.
00:51:55We own that one.
00:51:56Good work.
00:51:58But take off that stupid hat.
00:52:09Thanks.
00:52:10So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:16Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:19And how about you?
00:52:23Me?
00:52:24Yeah.
00:52:27Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:32Eva.
00:52:32That birthmark.
00:52:44Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:52:51Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:53So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:54Uh, no feelings, no complications.
00:52:58That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:59Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:53:02Max.
00:53:03Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:53:04Well, it's cold.
00:53:08Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:53:12Max.
00:53:14I need to tell you something.
00:53:17Something important.
00:53:19What's gotten into her?
00:53:21Is she hiding something?
00:53:23Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:25I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:31Piper is...
00:53:33Piper is...
00:53:36Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:39Sweetie.
00:53:40Oh, my gosh.
00:53:41It's all swollen.
00:53:42Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:44Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:46Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:50Come on, Piper.
00:53:54Okay, let me see.
00:53:55I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:54:02But that's not true.
00:54:03You were leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:54:07Uh...
00:54:08Daddy!
00:54:09No!
00:54:10Well...
00:54:16Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:54:22Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:25Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:28Really?
00:54:28Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:33You think it was Scar?
00:54:36Hmm.
00:54:39I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:41Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:42I have one, too.
00:54:43Dad.
00:54:44I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:48Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:51Really?
00:54:52No way.
00:54:53No.
00:54:54It was actually a cactus.
00:54:56But it's still cool.
00:54:59I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:55:01Piper, how long have you had that?
00:55:06My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:55:14And how old are you?
00:55:15Six.
00:55:17Six?
00:55:17That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:20Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:21Ivar, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:27What do I even say?
00:55:29And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:31Sorry, honey.
00:55:32This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:36Um, yeah.
00:55:38Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:42Ivar.
00:55:47Okay, look.
00:55:51Piper is...
00:55:57Go on.
00:56:03That must be an emergency.
00:56:06Excuse me.
00:56:07Sorry.
00:56:08I'll take this.
00:56:15Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:17Yeah.
00:56:19Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:22I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:27Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:30I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:33She's a high school dropout.
00:56:35Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:37And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:40I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:41Max.
00:56:42That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:48I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:52You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:54Your mother would take her away.
00:56:55After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:59Eva?
00:57:01Maximus?
00:57:02Are you even listening to me?
00:57:04No, Mom, Mom.
00:57:05Listen, I'm sorry, okay?
00:57:07Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:57:09I'm not leaving her.
00:57:10Eva?
00:57:20Oh, I'm glad you are.
00:57:24This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:25Oh, wow.
00:57:32That's so cool.
00:57:33What did you make?
00:57:34Uh, Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:38Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:40Just thanks, guys.
00:57:41I'm glad you're here.
00:57:44We got you!
00:57:45Oh!
00:57:45Oh!
00:57:46Damn, these are nice!
00:57:47Thanks!
00:57:48Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:51Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:58It's in the other room by the train set.
00:58:00Here, I'll go with you.
00:58:01Remember the song that we sang?
00:58:03Ready?
00:58:03Ready?
00:58:03Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:58:06What do we got, guys?
00:58:06Billy.
00:58:07Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:58:13You never told me.
00:58:17Have we met before?
00:58:21She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:30I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:34Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:44I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:46Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:47They're very common.
00:58:48I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:52No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:56Maybe.
00:58:59Are you okay?
00:59:02Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:59:05No.
00:59:06I'm fine.
00:59:08Um.
00:59:10Oh, I almost forgot.
00:59:14I got you this.
00:59:15You got me a gift, too?
00:59:16Tis the season.
00:59:19Open it.
00:59:33Gloves.
00:59:35Did you make these?
00:59:37Yeah.
00:59:38I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:59:41You've already done so much for me.
00:59:43I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:47How did I feel?
00:59:49Warm, right?
00:59:51Yeah.
00:59:52Warm.
00:59:54Soft.
00:59:57Perfect.
01:00:02Thank you, Eva.
01:00:02I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:00:08Really?
01:00:09Yeah, my mom.
01:00:11She partied all the time.
01:00:12And I got gifts.
01:00:14Plenty of them.
01:00:15But I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:20Nothing personal.
01:00:21Well, you deserve it.
01:00:24You're a good guy.
01:00:26And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:34What if that day's today?
01:00:38What if I already found someone special?
01:00:43Right here.
01:00:43Max, we can't.
01:01:12If you want me to stop.
01:01:13You better tell me right now.
01:01:19Come on.
01:01:20I don't want you to stop.
01:01:28No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:31I don't want you to stop.
01:01:43I don't want you.
01:01:46I don't want you.
01:01:54Oh, God.
01:01:56You are trying to be fucking insane.
01:01:58Yeah.
01:01:59I don't want you to stop.
01:02:01Hi, sir.
01:02:02Hi, sir.
01:02:10Hi, sir.
01:02:11She can't see us.
01:02:32Eva?
01:02:36Grandma, I'm up here.
01:02:41That was way too close.
01:02:52Yeah.
01:02:54We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:59Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:03:03Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:08You still haven't given me mine.
01:03:11Let me give it to you.
01:03:46Hello?
01:03:47Hello, Eva Smith.
01:04:02I'm Max's mother.
01:04:04Name your price.
01:04:05What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:08What?
01:04:09We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:04:13Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:04:17My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:20Piper is my daughter.
01:04:22And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:25So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:04:27But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:30Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:37You okay?
01:04:39Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:44So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:49What are you talking about?
01:04:51It's over.
01:04:52It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:54Eva, wait!
01:04:58So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:04Well, Max, it's not real.
01:05:09None of it was real.
01:05:10So this is just a goodbye?
01:05:13Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:17Look, last night I let my guard down.
01:05:22But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:25And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:27Just tell me what you need.
01:05:29I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:05:33Just say the word.
01:05:46You don't get it.
01:05:48You don't get it.
01:05:56I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:06:03I won't give up on us.
01:06:20Are we here?
01:06:22Yes.
01:06:23As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:30Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:32How can she just walk away?
01:06:45Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:06:47It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:49Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:52Hey, you promised.
01:06:54Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:56Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:58All right, fine.
01:07:01When?
01:07:03Two days.
01:07:05I'll come pick you up.
01:07:06No need.
01:07:07Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.
01:07:11I know you and Mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:07:20So don't give up.
01:07:21Okay, Daddy?
01:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:24If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:29Are you pretty dead?
01:07:30I'll be right back.
01:07:32But I'll be right back.
01:07:35I'm sorry.
01:07:37I'll be right back.
01:07:39I'm sorry.
01:07:40I'm sorry, that I'm sorry.
01:07:41I'm sorry I said the truth.
01:07:42I'm sorry, that I'm sorry.
01:07:44I'm sorry.
01:07:45You can do this.
01:07:46I'm sorry.
01:07:47It's okay.
01:07:48Eva's meeting my mother today. Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:53Boss? Boss?
01:07:59Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:08:02I need to go win back my family.
01:08:04Family? Boss, you okay?
01:08:07Never better.
01:08:10Go get her, Max.
01:08:12Give it your best smile and...
01:08:17Ah, there he is. Maximus, darling.
01:08:21I have some prospects for you.
01:08:23Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:29Oh.
01:08:32I told you, I already found the woman I love.
01:08:35Maximus, stop this.
01:08:43That Eva woman is scamming you, son.
01:08:46Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:50You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:53No, I'm not.
01:08:56Oh?
01:08:57I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:09:01I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:09:06What?
01:09:20That's her.
01:09:21The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:26Hi, welcome in. Can I help you find something?
01:09:30I wanted to try those.
01:09:31Awesome, I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:37Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:43No, no, no.
01:09:44I know what I want.
01:09:46Size seven.
01:09:48Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:52Come on, she wants the white shoes.
01:09:54Ignore her.
01:09:55She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:09:57Here, let me help you.
01:09:58Come on.
01:09:59She seems kind.
01:10:00I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:10:01She's just doing her job.
01:10:02How do they feel?
01:10:03Well, I love the style, but it's too small.
01:10:04I think I need a size up.
01:10:05Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:06Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:07Right away.
01:10:08I'll be right back.
01:10:09I'll be right back.
01:10:10She's not only kind.
01:10:11She's patient.
01:10:12Was I wrong about her?
01:10:13No.
01:10:14No.
01:10:15No.
01:10:16No.
01:10:17No.
01:10:18No.
01:10:19No.
01:10:20No.
01:10:21No.
01:10:22No.
01:10:23No.
01:10:24No.
01:10:25No.
01:10:26No.
01:10:27No.
01:10:28No.
01:10:29No.
01:10:30No.
01:10:31No.
01:10:32No.
01:10:33No.
01:10:34No.
01:10:35No.
01:10:36No.
01:10:37No.
01:10:38You're patient.
01:10:39Was I wrong about her?
01:10:55Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:58Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:00She can't walk!
01:11:03That's just a period of evil.
01:11:08Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:11:12She's in a wheelchair.
01:11:13Who cares?
01:11:14It's the last pair.
01:11:16I get paid commission.
01:11:22I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:26See?
01:11:27This is your whole problem.
01:11:30This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:34I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:37I'm not selling her joke.
01:11:39She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:42People who insult her all day?
01:11:45I'm your manager.
01:11:50Sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired.
01:12:00Did I stutter?
01:12:02You don't have to fire me.
01:12:09I quit.
01:12:15I don't work here anymore.
01:12:18Listen, don't buy the shoes.
01:12:21They're broken.
01:12:22Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:12:23You're a good person, after all.
01:12:27Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:30I'm sorry?
01:12:33Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:35Get out!
01:12:36You're not disabled?
01:12:43Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:48Absolutely shameful.
01:12:50Who are you?
01:12:51I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group, and the owner of this store.
01:12:58You're Eleanor Harrison, mother of the CEO?
01:13:02I am.
01:13:03And you, my dear, are fired.
01:13:07What did I do?
01:13:08You are a good person.
01:13:13From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:13:19Are you serious?
01:13:23That's right.
01:13:25Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:28You are professional, responsible, far better than that two-bit manager.
01:13:33You, out!
01:13:39I'll leave.
01:13:42I'm leaving.
01:13:46I, I, I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:49No, don't worry.
01:13:52You're getting a promotion.
01:13:54You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:58First assignment?
01:13:59I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:14:06Pack it all up and bring it to my house, hmm?
01:14:10Okay.
01:14:11Yeah.
01:14:13Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:14:17I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:14:19She's the mother of a CEO.
01:14:28Of course she lives like this.
01:14:39Mrs. Harrison?
01:14:41I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:45Max?
01:14:46Eva?
01:14:47What are you doing here?
01:14:51I, uh...
01:14:52There you are, Eva!
01:14:55Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:58My new daughter-in-law.
01:15:01What are you talking...
01:15:03That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:15:09Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:15:11Stop!
01:15:12And you?
01:15:14You lied to me at the store.
01:15:17You were both just testing me?
01:15:19Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:15:21I'm sorry, Eva.
01:15:23I thought you might be using my son just after his money.
01:15:26But I was wrong.
01:15:28Eva, please.
01:15:29I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:15:31Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:15:34How could you think that of me?
01:15:36It's not like that, dear.
01:15:39Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:40Mom, what did you do?
01:15:43I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:15:46We're not together.
01:15:48And I can't love something that was never real.
01:15:54I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:57What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:59Go after her!
01:16:04Eva...
01:16:04Let me go!
01:16:05I swear, it's not what you think.
01:16:07We come from two completely different worlds.
01:16:09Stop pretending like you care.
01:16:10I'm not pretending.
01:16:12Okay?
01:16:12I can't fake what we have.
01:16:14And everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:16:17Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:16:26Max, you came.
01:16:27God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:16:32I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:16:36Just say the word.
01:16:40See?
01:16:40Stop fighting.
01:16:45We belong together.
01:16:48You're wrong.
01:16:49Wrong about what?
01:16:51That you care?
01:16:53Or we belong together?
01:16:55Look, I already told you.
01:16:56We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:59Now, I held up my end of the deal, and I met your mother, like we discussed.
01:17:03Now, I want a fake divorce from my fake cousin.
01:17:08Eva!
01:17:08Eva!
01:17:10Eva!
01:17:14I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:17:16Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:17:24Ow!
01:17:26Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:28Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:17:30Come here.
01:17:39No, you're not fine.
01:17:40You're sad.
01:17:43I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:47I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:51I want Max to be my real Daddy.
01:17:56Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:58I love bug.
01:17:58I love bug.
01:18:01You're right.
01:18:03What am I doing?
01:18:04Running like a coward?
01:18:07I've always taught you to be brave.
01:18:10Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:18:13I believe in you.
01:18:14What are you gonna do, Mommy?
01:18:16I know exactly what to say to him.
01:18:18I know exactly what to say to him.
01:18:22Maximus deserves to know.
01:18:24Piper is his daughter.
01:18:25Enough sulking.
01:18:34Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:18:37Don't you think I want to?
01:18:39She doesn't want me.
01:18:41I didn't raise you to give up.
01:18:43Your daughter is still out there.
01:18:44You can't abandon her.
01:18:46Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:48I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:18:51And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:18:55What are you talking about?
01:18:56I already ran a DNA test.
01:19:00Hyper is your daughter.
01:19:02What?
01:19:03See for yourself.
01:19:10I was right.
01:19:12Seven years ago.
01:19:14New Year's, that woman was Eva.
01:19:16Eva!
01:19:28Hey.
01:19:30Daddy!
01:19:32Daddy!
01:19:33Piper!
01:19:35I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:44You came back.
01:19:46Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:19:58I, uh...
01:20:00I was scared.
01:20:02But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:20:05Because what we have is real,
01:20:06and it's worth fighting for.
01:20:09Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:20:13I have something to tell you, too.
01:20:16Piper is your daughter.
01:20:19You knew.
01:20:20My sweet granddaughter.
01:20:22Mama!
01:20:23Oh!
01:20:26Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago,
01:20:29but you've known this whole time?
01:20:31I was scared.
01:20:32Okay, I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:20:34I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:20:36How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:39I love you, Eva.
01:20:54I love you, too.
01:20:55I promise, for the rest of my life,
01:20:59I'm going to make it up to you.
01:21:02As long as we're together,
01:21:03it doesn't matter where we are.
01:21:05Will you marry me, Eva?
01:21:17For real this time?
01:21:19Yeah, yes.
01:21:21Yes, of course, I'll marry you.
01:21:26Yes!
01:21:27Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas
01:21:37and the Christmas after that and forever.
01:21:42I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:21:49Who's that?
01:21:50Hey, Eva!
01:21:54Take me back!
01:21:57I'm sorry!
01:21:58I'm struck your tire!
01:22:02Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:22:05Again.
01:22:08No?
01:22:09Not funny?