- 4 months ago
- #reelshort
#ReelShort
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So I'm fighting the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:12Uh, uh...
00:00:15Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:22Just play along.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Hey!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58Do you want me to stop?
00:00:59Tell me now.
00:01:00I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:07I don't want you to stop.
00:01:09I don't want you to stop.
00:01:13I don't want you to stop.
00:01:15I don't want you to stop.
00:01:21I don't want you to stop.
00:01:24I don't want you to stop.
00:01:26I don't want you to stop.
00:01:32I don't want you to stop.
00:01:34I don't want you to stop.
00:01:38I don't want you to stop.
00:01:40I don't want you to stop.
00:01:41I don't want you to stop.
00:01:44I don't want you to stop.
00:01:46I don't want you to stop.
00:01:48I don't want you to stop.
00:01:50I don't want you to stop.
00:01:51Sam, it's me. Hey, find me the girl from last night. I don't care how, just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can't you get married already? Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend? I need grandkids. I need you to-
00:02:13Message received, Mom. I need to go now. I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:21Seven years. Why can't I ever find you? And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl? Boss, it's been years.
00:02:45I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:47Your vest, sir. But first, we found your fake Christmas wife. She's waiting in the coffee shop. Blonde hair, red top. And, sir, make sure you use an alias. We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good. Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:04Hi. One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:12I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now Auntie Debra and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend. It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy? Where's my real one?
00:03:28Uh, I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:48Danny!
00:03:49Yo!
00:03:49What?
00:03:50Daddy!
00:03:57Yo! I'm sorry. I'm not your dad.
00:04:01No, I know you're my daddy. Just as handsome as I've had.
00:04:05Oh.
00:04:06Mommy, hurry! Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:09I asked the agency for an average-looking guy. He's gorgeous.
00:04:26Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:30She's waiting in the coffee shop. Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:36So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:38See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Cybert. What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess Mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:00So, per hour agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:12That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:22Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:25and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:27And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:29so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43Deal.
00:05:44Ready to go get married?
00:05:48Okay.
00:06:01Wow.
00:06:03Clean up nice.
00:06:04This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:06Pictures.
00:06:07Pictures.
00:06:07Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:18Oh, I think we got it.
00:06:43Oh, I need some photos of us together, too,
00:06:46to prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:49and have a happy family.
00:06:50Yeah.
00:06:51Of course.
00:07:01Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:03From my family to you.
00:07:13Bad news, boss.
00:07:14The agency said that the girl
00:07:16that they recruited to be your fake wife
00:07:17failed last minute.
00:07:19Wait, she bailed?
00:07:20Then who is...
00:07:23Who is she?
00:07:26Whatever.
00:07:28It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:33Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:34I already found someone.
00:07:35Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:45Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:50in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:52I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It'll make it more believable.
00:07:59Fine.
00:08:00Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:14Oh, let's go to the...
00:08:15Sam, is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:30of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Get me a DNA test for that little girl
00:08:34that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:40So, when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:45we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Here, let me get this.
00:08:51They're going to love you, Max.
00:08:54Oh, so, I was, uh, thinking
00:08:57that since we're married,
00:09:00we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:03in front of them.
00:09:05Okay.
00:09:07Should we use our tongues, or...?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:10And absolutely no...
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:14This is strictly business.
00:09:17Anything physical outside of that
00:09:18is not happening.
00:09:20What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:24I just don't want Piper
00:09:25to have messy complications
00:09:27getting in the way
00:09:28of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:30Let's go.
00:09:37Here.
00:09:38What are you doing?
00:09:39I'd never let my woman
00:09:40pick up the tab.
00:09:43Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:45and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:47and I don't want your money.
00:09:50Attention, shoppers.
00:09:51All bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies?
00:09:55Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies.
00:09:57Did I hear this right?
00:09:58They're the best kind.
00:10:00Hurry up and go.
00:10:00Go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:02Hello there.
00:10:05Hi.
00:10:05You ready?
00:10:06Yes, yeah.
00:10:06Just these things.
00:10:07Okay, great.
00:10:09We have a holiday special today.
00:10:11Spend $500,
00:10:12get 10% off,
00:10:13and you are just short
00:10:14$15 if you want to take advantage
00:10:16of the deal.
00:10:17Oh, great.
00:10:17Yeah.
00:10:18What do you have
00:10:19that's just $15?
00:10:20Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:22I just got here.
00:10:24Relax.
00:10:25Yeah, yeah.
00:10:28Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:30Okay, thank you.
00:10:33Hurry up and pay.
00:10:37I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:39You can wait your turn.
00:10:45Damn.
00:10:45My fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:50Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:54Not the pies.
00:10:54Not the pies.
00:10:55You can just set those on top.
00:11:01Hi, guys.
00:11:03I'm going to hand you
00:11:04all these pies.
00:11:09Of course.
00:11:11Thank you so much.
00:11:12Of course.
00:11:12I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:15She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:16Don't worry, I have enough
00:11:17for everybody.
00:11:18Just to give it away.
00:11:19Yeah.
00:11:21Merry Christmas.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29You do that often?
00:11:31As often as I can.
00:11:36We should go.
00:11:37We got to pick up paper.
00:11:41Sit.
00:11:42Watch out.
00:11:42You done feeling me up?
00:12:03Shut up.
00:12:05I'm sorry.
00:12:06I was just in character, wife.
00:12:07We'll stay out of character
00:12:09until Christmas.
00:12:09And don't be late.
00:12:15And don't be late.
00:12:27Harrison Group?
00:12:28Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:32Sort of.
00:12:32Not that I'm judging.
00:12:34I just need to get my story straight
00:12:36or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:39Why don't we say that you do mid-level management
00:12:41for Harrison Group?
00:12:42I think that's respectable.
00:12:44Can we pick another company?
00:12:47No.
00:12:48Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:50And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:51My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:53So, it's perfect.
00:12:54Oh, and, uh, wear something nice
00:13:01for Christmas dinner.
00:13:02Don't worry.
00:13:03Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:04I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:08Too much.
00:13:08Let's go, Sam.
00:13:30It's time to check out the new HQ set.
00:13:33Hold on, you're covered in water
00:13:34and you have a hair on your shoulder
00:13:35and it's not yours.
00:13:37It's my daughter's.
00:13:40Daughter's?
00:13:41Give me a DNA test
00:13:43for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:59Hey, there they are!
00:14:01Hey, there you are!
00:14:02Nice to meet you!
00:14:03Oh, Dad.
00:14:05What you needed?
00:14:06Oh, I missed you.
00:14:08So, where's this mysterious husband
00:14:11we heard all about?
00:14:12He's coming.
00:14:13Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:15Good, good, good.
00:14:18So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:21When's he arriving?
00:14:23Oh, it's probably just some story
00:14:25she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:28Poor thing.
00:14:28Not surprising.
00:14:29I mean, she's 30.
00:14:30I mean, she's 30.
00:14:31Once a woman hits that age,
00:14:33you become undateable.
00:14:34Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:38This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:44Auntie Pamela, Debbie,
00:14:46my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:49We're only worried about you.
00:14:51All these years without a husband.
00:14:54Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:56You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:59And look what happened.
00:15:00She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:04I'm not alone.
00:15:05Mm-hmm.
00:15:06And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:12He's a manager.
00:15:13Manager?
00:15:15Of what?
00:15:16Trash?
00:15:18Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:22You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:25Actually, he's right here.
00:15:31Oh, wow.
00:15:32Wow, he is really good looking.
00:15:37Ah, must be AI.
00:15:39Mm-hmm.
00:15:40Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:43Fake.
00:15:44That's enough.
00:15:44She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:47Show some respect.
00:15:48Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William,
00:15:53and you turned him down?
00:15:55Well, guess what?
00:15:57William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:59Makes 500 grand.
00:16:01A year.
00:16:02That's half a million.
00:16:04Half a million.
00:16:06Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:10And speak of the devil.
00:16:15Willie, you made it.
00:16:17There you are.
00:16:29Oh, look at you now.
00:16:31Living the dream.
00:16:33Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:35Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:41So married, huh?
00:16:42Is it serious?
00:16:45That's what marriage is.
00:16:46It's pretty serious.
00:16:48Wow.
00:16:49You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:52Makes sense, though.
00:16:53You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:56Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:58Ah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:01Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:05That's right.
00:17:07Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:11Women love a man in red.
00:17:12Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:16Want to sit on my lap?
00:17:18Don't touch me.
00:17:19Oh, so entitled.
00:17:21Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:25And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:29I mean, look at that car.
00:17:31Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:34Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:38Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:43I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:50My mom would never marry.
00:17:52She already has a husband.
00:17:53He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:59Is that so?
00:18:00Well, then, where is he?
00:18:02Because I don't see him.
00:18:04Does anyone see him?
00:18:08Now, just like I thought, telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:13That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:16And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:22Mommy.
00:18:23Hey.
00:18:24Are you okay?
00:18:25I see your hands.
00:18:26Oh, my God.
00:18:27I'm going to take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:29Come on, now.
00:18:30Let's go.
00:18:32What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:35How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:37Let me go.
00:18:40Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:45Let me go.
00:18:47Let me go.
00:19:00Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:04Max, you came.
00:19:09How are you, sweetie?
00:19:13Where's Piper?
00:19:15William Hitter?
00:19:17Mom, Dad, I'll take her inside.
00:19:18Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:21Well, well, well.
00:19:23If it isn't a waste marriage or I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:26That's right.
00:19:27Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:32Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:35It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:36I'm Max.
00:19:37Eva told us all about you.
00:19:39From New York.
00:19:40Polite.
00:19:41Handsome.
00:19:42Just like she said.
00:19:44Wow.
00:19:45He was an AI.
00:19:47See?
00:19:48He's real.
00:19:49And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:52Son of a bitch.
00:19:53You just ruined my suit.
00:19:55And watch the way that you drive that...
00:19:56That pristine automobile.
00:19:59That car?
00:20:00Oh, my God.
00:20:02That's worth more than a house.
00:20:04That car?
00:20:05It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:08Wait.
00:20:11Are you?
00:20:16Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:19And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:21I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:24You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:26You stole it.
00:20:27That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:29Jesus.
00:20:30How did he get away with it?
00:20:32That's what I want to know.
00:20:34Enough, please.
00:20:37I trust my daughter.
00:20:39She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:42Max, be honest with me.
00:20:45Where did that car come from?
00:20:47How much do you want for it?
00:20:49I'll pay you more money than you'd make it three lifetimes.
00:20:52So, you need a breath, man.
00:20:58Hurry!
00:21:03Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:06Oh, well.
00:21:07Too late.
00:21:15Listen, hon.
00:21:16I believe you.
00:21:18But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:22Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:23It's my car.
00:21:24Okay?
00:21:24It's not stolen.
00:21:25Huh, yeah?
00:21:27If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:29Cops will be here in 15...
00:21:34I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:36But then you have to get lost.
00:21:38And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:41Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:43Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:45Loser!
00:21:46Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:51Jesus.
00:21:52Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:54It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:58Here.
00:21:59Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:00Mr. Harrison?
00:22:12Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:18Just play along.
00:22:19Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:22Now get the fuck out of here.
00:22:23Before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:26Yes, sir!
00:22:27I'm so sorry, sir!
00:22:29Please, let me tell my serious apologies.
00:22:31Oh, jeez.
00:22:41Oh, that William?
00:22:44What a jerk, huh?
00:22:46You fooled me?
00:22:47What can I say?
00:22:48Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:52Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:54Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:55We were just looking out for you.
00:22:57Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:22:59You know my youngest son is graduating soon.
00:23:02Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:06A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:11We are family, aren't we?
00:23:13Family takes care of each other.
00:23:14If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:20Abigail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:23:24Didn't you just say...
00:23:25You need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:30My daughter is just far too busy.
00:23:33For your best life, my new son-in-law.
00:23:36Come on, guys.
00:23:37Let's go in.
00:23:38Welcome to the family.
00:23:42Welcome.
00:23:43Come on in.
00:23:46This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:50You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:53My fault.
00:23:54You are the one who is pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:58Oh!
00:24:08Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:10And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:12And how do you...
00:24:12I told you.
00:24:13I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:16I have a friend in high places.
00:24:17A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:22Yes.
00:24:23It's the season of giving.
00:24:25He knows people.
00:24:27Has connections.
00:24:28He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:30You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:32Yeah, and you best not forget it.
00:24:33Capisce?
00:24:34Oh, my God.
00:24:35Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:38Dad!
00:24:39Mom!
00:24:40Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:43Oh, honey.
00:24:43We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking.
00:24:50I think they get it, huh?
00:24:54How's Piper?
00:24:55Oh, she's fine.
00:24:56One of you guys just gets settled in and we will go check on her.
00:25:00And if your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:05Great.
00:25:06See you in a bit, shall we?
00:25:08What are you doing?
00:25:11Okay.
00:25:11Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:25:19Relax.
00:25:19It was just a hug.
00:25:22Ugh.
00:25:24We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:26You'll be okay.
00:25:28It's just one week.
00:25:29Kill me now.
00:25:30Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:37What are you doing?
00:25:39That's weird.
00:25:40They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:43I don't know.
00:25:44Something just feels off.
00:25:46That's ridiculous.
00:25:47I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:49Make them a promise to prove it?
00:25:52Something like this.
00:25:54Later.
00:25:57Let's go.
00:25:57Here we go.
00:26:04Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:06Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:26:09To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:12Oh.
00:26:13Welcome.
00:26:14Cheers.
00:26:15Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:16Looks great.
00:26:17Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:19I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:24But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:28Mmm.
00:26:29Oh, no.
00:26:29Mom's testing him.
00:26:30She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:32You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:36Ow.
00:26:40Eva, sweetie.
00:26:42Kicking my foot.
00:26:43Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:44Oh, jeez.
00:26:47It's okay.
00:26:49Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:50I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:52Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:27:06Did I hear this right?
00:27:08They're the best kind.
00:27:10Well, of course.
00:27:11It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:13See?
00:27:15Are you happy now?
00:27:16That's good, but something still feels off.
00:27:19Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:21We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:27But our marriage is real.
00:27:29I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:33Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:37Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:40Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:44Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:48I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:50Well, um, it's...
00:27:53Silly face.
00:27:54Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:56Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:59Silly face.
00:28:01I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:03Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:06Those blazers.
00:28:07It's nice.
00:28:09You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:12Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:15And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:18I'll drink to that.
00:28:20I agree with you there.
00:28:21So, come on, guys.
00:28:23Let's eat.
00:28:24Come on.
00:28:24And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:39I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:42Nice and festive for you.
00:28:44No complications, right?
00:28:46Sorry, honey.
00:28:47Mom, you know what?
00:28:48I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:50Oh, honey.
00:28:51Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:55Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:57The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:59Something about water conservation.
00:29:01That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0315 minutes?
00:29:05Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:06Just shower together.
00:29:09Shower together?
00:29:13Just shower together.
00:29:14Okay, you guys.
00:29:15Have a good night, okay?
00:29:16You heard her.
00:29:46Come on, Max.
00:30:17Get out of the way.
00:30:19We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:20You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:22Relax.
00:30:23I won't touch you.
00:30:25Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:29But that'll cost extra.
00:30:30Yeah.
00:30:39And your dreams.
00:30:42Free to join me.
00:30:46You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:31:07You wish.
00:31:08Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:10Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:11It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:15Oh, yeah?
00:31:16True.
00:31:16Holy shit.
00:31:23Oh, yeah.
00:31:23Holy shit.
00:31:25Oh, yeah.
00:31:26Oh, well, this is.
00:31:29Oh, wait.
00:31:30This is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:32Um, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:37I'll say. What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:41Still think you can lose this?
00:31:44Oh, baby. I don't think I want you.
00:31:52Maxie, shut it up.
00:31:56Or maybe we should. God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:02Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:10Oh, we're so sexy.
00:32:21Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:23What? I didn't mean to cross any-
00:32:26It's not you, Max. It's us. It's this. This is all an act.
00:32:29Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:32You're right. I'm sorry.
00:32:35I'm sorry.
00:32:36I just don't need to be sorry. Just...
00:32:46That birthmark.
00:32:52What is that?
00:32:53It's him. The man from New Year's. Is he Piper's father?
00:33:03Why are you acting?
00:33:06Oh, my God. Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:11Yeah. I just, um...
00:33:14I just got lightheaded. I think I just need a few more minutes. Alone.
00:33:20Of course.
00:33:24We have a daughter together.
00:33:26Oh, my God. What do I do?
00:33:28I'm gonna sleep on the floor. You can take the bed.
00:33:38Thanks.
00:33:40Hey.
00:33:42Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:44Look, fake marriage aside, I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:47So, if there's something you need, I can help.
00:33:51I wanna help.
00:33:53He's Piper's father. He has a right to know.
00:33:56Um, Max...
00:33:59How would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:06A child?
00:34:08No, no, no. That's impossible.
00:34:10I'm very careful. Mostly.
00:34:16I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:18Family, to me, is a big commitment.
00:34:21And I don't want any loose ends. You know?
00:34:24Right.
00:34:26He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:29I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:31Why do you ask?
00:34:33No reason. Just... just curious.
00:34:36No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What?
00:34:41No.
00:34:43Well, then, can I ask you a question?
00:34:45Shoot.
00:34:51Where did you get these?
00:34:53And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those. I don't know where those came from.
00:34:59Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:35:02No.
00:35:04No. No. No. Stop coming!
00:35:06Get off!
00:35:07Get off!
00:35:08Woo!
00:35:18Oh...
00:35:20Elon...
00:35:21The truth is...
00:35:22Is that I...
00:35:24Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
00:35:26Just a second. Come in!
00:35:29Hey, hon.
00:35:41Oh! Sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:35:48Think you could take this one, Dad? We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:52I can see that.
00:35:54Well, why don't I read it to her? I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:58Well, that a boy. You know what? Just put his shirt on. I'm gonna go get her.
00:36:03Piper! Here comes Grandpa!
00:36:08He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.
00:36:15But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
00:36:19Merry Christmas to all. And to all, a good night.
00:36:26If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:36:30Good night, Piper.
00:36:31Piper.
00:36:32Is her dad still around?
00:36:37Yeah, but he doesn't know it. Because you are her dad.
00:36:41Uh, no.
00:36:43That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:36:48Do you really think so?
00:36:52From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:55Maybe I should tell him. He deserves to know.
00:36:58He deserves to know.
00:37:05Max.
00:37:09You are Piper's father.
00:37:18I'll tell you when the time is right.
00:37:28Where's Piper?
00:37:46She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:37:58God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:14Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:17Not on my watch.
00:38:22Yeah, this.
00:38:24I remember this.
00:38:28Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:38How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:41Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:42It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:44Wonderful.
00:38:45Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:49Oh, no.
00:38:51What is that?
00:38:52Sardines and Saltines.
00:38:53It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:55It was my Graham Graham's favorite during wartime.
00:38:57Don't be shy.
00:38:58Go ahead.
00:38:59Grab a handful.
00:39:01Max, you don't have to.
00:39:02No, no.
00:39:03It's okay.
00:39:05Smith family staple.
00:39:06There we go.
00:39:07Good?
00:39:08Mmm.
00:39:09Good?
00:39:10It's crunchy.
00:39:11Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:12You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:13Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:17That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:18What's the deal with them?
00:39:20Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:21Says, Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm, I'm
00:39:24No, no.
00:39:25I'm not.
00:39:26It's a mess.
00:39:27It's a mess.
00:39:28It's a mess.
00:39:29I'm not.
00:39:30It's a mess.
00:39:31It's a mess.
00:39:32It's an awesome mess.
00:39:33It's a mess.
00:39:34It's a mess.
00:39:35It's a mess.
00:39:36It's a mess.
00:39:37Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:39That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:43What's the deal with them?
00:39:44Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:47Says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:39:51Hey, don't worry. I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:57Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:40:01Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up, then.
00:40:07Wait, that earring.
00:40:18Wait, that earring.
00:40:20You like it?
00:40:22I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:24Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:27I don't really remember the details, but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:33Right. It's just a common earring.
00:40:35Anyone can have it. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:39She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:43So Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:47But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:50What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:54An aging single mom.
00:40:57Slim pickings.
00:40:58I heard he's in waste management.
00:41:00That explains it.
00:41:02She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:41:05Oh, please, Miranda.
00:41:06No, Ava is your niece.
00:41:08Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:41:10Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:14Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:16Exactly.
00:41:17Not like my Sierra.
00:41:18Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:23Oh, they're here.
00:41:26Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:27Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:34Merry Christmas.
00:41:36You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:38I am.
00:41:39I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:41Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:42Welcome.
00:41:42You're Ava's husband.
00:41:44But you're gorgeous.
00:41:48But not as handsome as you.
00:41:51Look at you two.
00:41:52You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:54Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:55This is for Max and I.
00:41:59Oh, my goodness.
00:42:00Thank you, Eva.
00:42:01Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:42:04Oops.
00:42:04Oh, my bad.
00:42:05Oh, a homemade gift.
00:42:08How thrifty.
00:42:10Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:42:12Mommy's right, you mean all high.
00:42:15You little...
00:42:15You will not lay a hand on my daughter, or you will lose yours.
00:42:22Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:25Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:27My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:30He could ruin your life.
00:42:32Mommy, are you okay?
00:42:46I'm fine.
00:42:47I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:48Yeah.
00:42:48It's okay.
00:42:49It's okay.
00:42:52What are you...
00:42:53Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:57Did you just slap me?
00:42:59Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:43:01You're a fucking psycho.
00:43:03You know what, Sierra?
00:43:03I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:43:09Her family.
00:43:10She needs me.
00:43:11You okay, honey?
00:43:18Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:20Do something.
00:43:21You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:23I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:26Oh, wow.
00:43:26I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:32Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:35Let's call him.
00:43:36I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:39Please.
00:43:40Who do you think you are?
00:43:42Enough!
00:43:44There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:48Fine, Dad.
00:43:49Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:51They're just jealous.
00:43:54For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:56I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:44:00I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:44:04Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:44:05All right, that's enough.
00:44:07Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:11Is this a joke?
00:44:30Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:33Hold it.
00:44:34Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:36My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:39King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:51Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:54And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:57It's just petty.
00:44:58Maybe so.
00:45:00But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:45:04Fine.
00:45:05Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:45:07Come on, let's go.
00:45:08No, no.
00:45:09Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:12Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:16I know, dear.
00:45:17I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:23Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:24What was that?
00:45:29I just want to have our family together.
00:45:32Fine.
00:45:33We'll stay.
00:45:34Can I have a little nipple?
00:45:36It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:38We'll get something right after.
00:45:40Like drive-thru?
00:45:42I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:44That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:49No strays.
00:45:50Ow.
00:45:51Sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:53Yes, please.
00:45:54You hit my child.
00:45:55You're fucking crazy.
00:45:57Well, if you'd teach her some manners,
00:45:59maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:46:04Don't worry, baby.
00:46:05I'll handle it.
00:46:06Don't worry, baby.
00:46:10I'll handle it.
00:46:14Piper.
00:46:15Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food
00:46:18you've ever had in your life?
00:46:22Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:23Give me two minutes or one phone call.
00:46:25As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:28Actually, I do.
00:46:29He's such a liar.
00:46:32This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:34Oh, it will be.
00:46:37Sam.
00:46:39Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:42I'm already on my way.
00:46:48Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:50I'm already on my way.
00:46:51You hear this guy?
00:46:54He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:46:56From Antarctica.
00:46:57Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:47:01His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:47:04Max, what are you doing?
00:47:06Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:47:08Santa's already on his way.
00:47:09Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:19A helicopter?
00:47:27There's no way.
00:47:33How did you pull this off?
00:47:35Sam is like family.
00:47:36I thought I'd introduce you, too.
00:47:38Thanks, boss.
00:47:40Boss?
00:47:41Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:43Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:45Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:49I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:52You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:56Mm-hmm.
00:47:59Come on.
00:48:01You can stop kidding around.
00:48:03If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:48:07No, I actually am the CEO.
00:48:09Come on.
00:48:09You can stop the charade.
00:48:11Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:48:14Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:17Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:21How is this possible?
00:48:32This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:39Who are you?
00:48:40I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:43That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:46Wait, no.
00:48:47Hold on.
00:48:49You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:54You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:56Hmm.
00:48:57Some of the small ones.
00:48:59I mean, you know that.
00:49:00You work for me.
00:49:02Oh, God.
00:49:02I insulted my own boss.
00:49:05I'm finished.
00:49:11Okay.
00:49:12I insulted my own boss.
00:49:14I'm finished.
00:49:15Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:18Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:20Worth every penny I...
00:49:21You're fired.
00:49:28Fired?
00:49:29Sam?
00:49:34Fired?
00:49:35Oh, God.
00:49:36I can't be fired.
00:49:38What?
00:49:40Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:41You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:43Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:44I'll do anything.
00:49:46Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:53And you.
00:49:54Oh, me?
00:49:56Mr. Harrison.
00:49:58Come on.
00:49:58That was a Christmas joke.
00:50:00A family tradition.
00:50:01Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:50:04Sam?
00:50:09Will you do me the honors?
00:50:12Glad, baby.
00:50:16Merry Christmas, Aunt Ryan.
00:50:20Father, do something.
00:50:23Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:25I'm leaving.
00:50:27Mmm, pumpkin.
00:50:28My favorite.
00:50:33Come on, sweetie.
00:50:36Daddy had the scrapped line just for you.
00:50:38Eat as much as you want.
00:50:39Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:44I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:46I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:48Honestly, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:52Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:54Just like this.
00:50:56Does he really mean that?
00:50:58Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:59I can't tell.
00:51:01And that terrifies me.
00:51:02Merry Christmas, Miss Harrison.
00:51:09I brought you a gift.
00:51:10Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:51:12Oh, this is wonderful.
00:51:21Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:24Tell me everything.
00:51:25Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:51:31Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:34A high school dropout in the Harrison family?
00:51:39Not a chance.
00:51:43She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:47Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:49Silence.
00:51:49Get me the address where she works.
00:51:52It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:53That's nice.
00:51:55We own that one.
00:51:56Good work.
00:51:58But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:59Thanks.
00:52:10So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:16Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:19And how about you?
00:52:23Me?
00:52:24Yeah.
00:52:26Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:29Eva.
00:52:40That birthmark.
00:52:44Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:52:51Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:53So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:54No feelings, no complications.
00:52:58That's what we agreed upon.
00:53:00Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:53:02Max.
00:53:03Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:53:06It's cold.
00:53:08Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:53:12Max.
00:53:12I need to tell you something.
00:53:17It's something important.
00:53:19What's gotten into her?
00:53:21Is she hiding something?
00:53:23Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:26I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:31Piper is...
00:53:31Piper is...
00:53:32Piper is...
00:53:36Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:39Sweetie.
00:53:40Oh my gosh.
00:53:41It's so swollen.
00:53:42Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:44Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:46Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:47Come on, Piper.
00:53:54Okay, let me see.
00:53:58I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:54:02But that's not true.
00:54:03You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:54:07Uh...
00:54:08Daddy!
00:54:09No!
00:54:11What?
00:54:11What?
00:54:11Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:54:22Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:26Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:28Really?
00:54:28Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:33You think it was Sky?
00:54:37Hmm.
00:54:39I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:41Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:43I have one, too.
00:54:45Dad.
00:54:46I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:48Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:51Really?
00:54:52No way.
00:54:53No.
00:54:54It was actually a cactus.
00:54:56But it's still cool.
00:54:58I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:55:04Piper, how long have you had that?
00:55:06My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:55:11And how old are you?
00:55:16Six.
00:55:17Six?
00:55:17That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:20Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:22Eivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:24What do I even say?
00:55:29And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:31Sorry, honey.
00:55:32This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:36Um, yeah.
00:55:38Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:42Eva.
00:55:47Okay, look.
00:55:51Piper is...
00:55:52Go on.
00:56:03It must be an emergency.
00:56:06Excuse me.
00:56:08Sorry.
00:56:08I'll take this.
00:56:15Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:16Yeah.
00:56:19Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:22I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:27Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:30I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:34She's a high school dropout.
00:56:35Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:38And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:40I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:42Max.
00:56:42That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:50I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:52You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:54Your mother would take her away.
00:56:55After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:59Eva?
00:57:01Maximus?
00:57:02Are you even listening to me?
00:57:04No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:57:05I'm sorry, okay?
00:57:07Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:57:09I'm not leaving her.
00:57:12Eva?
00:57:20I need that.
00:57:21Ha, ha.
00:57:22For me?
00:57:23Oh, good boy.
00:57:24This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:30Oh, wow.
00:57:33That's so cool.
00:57:33What did you make?
00:57:35Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:38Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:40Thanks, guys.
00:57:41I'm glad you're here.
00:57:44Oh, God.
00:57:45Oh.
00:57:45Wow.
00:57:46Damn, these are nice.
00:57:48Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:52I'm glad you're here.
00:57:56Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:58It's in the other room by the train set.
00:58:00Here, I'll go with you.
00:58:01Remember the song that we sang?
00:58:03Ready?
00:58:03Ready?
00:58:03Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:58:06What have we got, guys?
00:58:06Billy.
00:58:07Walking home from our house.
00:58:08Christmas Eve.
00:58:13You never told me.
00:58:17Have we met before?
00:58:22Have we met before?
00:58:25She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:28I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:36That's Piper.
00:58:45I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:46Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:47They're very common.
00:58:48I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:52No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:56Maybe.
00:58:56Maybe.
00:58:59Are you okay?
00:59:02Were the clogs a bad idea?
00:59:05No.
00:59:06I'm fine.
00:59:08Um.
00:59:10Oh, I almost forgot.
00:59:14I got you this.
00:59:15You got me a gift, too?
00:59:17Tis the season.
00:59:19Open it.
00:59:28Gloves.
00:59:35Did you make these?
00:59:42You've already done so much for me.
00:59:43I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:48How do they feel?
00:59:49Warm, right?
00:59:50Yeah.
00:59:51Yeah.
00:59:52Warm.
00:59:54Soft.
01:00:02Thank you, Eva.
01:00:04I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:00:08Really?
01:00:08Really?
01:00:08Yeah.
01:00:09Really?
01:00:09Really?
01:00:09Really?
01:00:20Well, you deserve it.
01:00:24You're a good guy.
01:00:26And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:33And what if that day's today?
01:00:39What if I already found someone special?
01:00:43Right here.
01:00:44Max, we can't.
01:01:12If you want me to stop.
01:01:14You better tell me right now.
01:01:19Come on.
01:01:21I don't want you to stop.
01:01:28No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:31I don't want you to stop.
01:01:35No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:44I don't want you to stop.
01:01:50I don't want you to stop.
01:01:52Oh, God, you are driving fucking insane.
01:02:01Piper!
01:02:11Piper?
01:02:13She can't see us.
01:02:22Piper!
01:02:32Eva?
01:02:36Grandma, I'm up here!
01:02:39That was way too close.
01:02:53Yeah.
01:02:54We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:03:00Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:03:02Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:09You still haven't given me mine.
01:03:15Let me give it to you.
01:03:32?
01:03:33No.
01:03:39I love you.
01:03:40You will never know.
01:03:41I'm just kidding.
01:03:43You're not really going to play front of me.
01:03:45You're not really going to play front of me.
01:03:46You're not really at all.
01:03:48I'm just kidding.
01:03:50I ended up taking a nap.
01:03:52For what's happening in my life?
01:03:54All the time and everything, I'm going to go back and learn.
01:03:55What's happening?
01:03:57Is that the only way you are?
01:03:58Hello?
01:04:00Hello, Eva Smith.
01:04:02I'm Max's mother.
01:04:04Name your price.
01:04:06What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:08What?
01:04:10We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:04:12Take the money,
01:04:14leave my granddaughter with us,
01:04:16and go.
01:04:18My son will find a better wife and a better mother
01:04:20for his child. Piper is my daughter.
01:04:22And no amount of money you offer
01:04:24could ever make me give her up.
01:04:26Your money. And I'll leave on my own.
01:04:28But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:32Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:38You okay?
01:04:42Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:46So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:50What are you talking about?
01:04:52It's over.
01:04:54It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:59Eva, wait!
01:05:03So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:10Well, Max, it's not real.
01:05:12None of it was real.
01:05:14So, this is just a goodbye?
01:05:16I didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:21Look.
01:05:23Last night,
01:05:26I let my guard down.
01:05:27But I'm a mother,
01:05:28and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:30And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:32Just tell me what you need.
01:05:35I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:05:37a good father.
01:05:40Just say the word.
01:05:46You don't get it.
01:05:48You don't get it.
01:05:56I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:58I won't give up on us.
01:06:03Are we here?
01:06:04Yes.
01:06:05As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:09Piper, sweetie, wake up. We're home.
01:06:14How can she just walk away?
01:06:16Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:19We're home.
01:06:21How can she just walk away?
01:06:23As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:30Piper, sweetie, wake up. We're home.
01:06:36How can she just walk away?
01:06:45Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:06:48It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:50Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:53Hey, you promised.
01:06:55Eve, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:57Can you do this for me, please?
01:07:01Fine.
01:07:02When?
01:07:04Two days.
01:07:05I'll come pick you up.
01:07:06No need.
01:07:08Just send me the address and I'll be there.
01:07:15I know you and Mommy thought,
01:07:18but she still really likes you,
01:07:20so don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:24If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:07:26I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:29Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:51Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:52Boss?
01:07:54Boss?
01:07:55Boss?
01:07:59Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:08:02I need to go win back my family.
01:08:04Family?
01:08:05Boss, you okay?
01:08:07Never better.
01:08:10Go get her, Max.
01:08:11Give it your best smile.
01:08:16Ah, there he is.
01:08:19Maximus, darling.
01:08:21I have some prospects for you.
01:08:23Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:26Oh.
01:08:27I told you.
01:08:33I already found the woman I love.
01:08:41Maximus, stop this.
01:08:43That evil woman is scamming you, son.
01:08:46Tell me what kind of woman you want
01:08:49and I'll find you another.
01:08:50You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:53No, I'm not.
01:08:56Oh.
01:08:57I work in waste management
01:08:59and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:09:01I'm Eva's husband
01:09:02and I'm a father.
01:09:06What?
01:09:06Oh, that's her.
01:09:21The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:26Hi.
01:09:27Welcome in.
01:09:28Can I help you find something?
01:09:30I want to try those.
01:09:34Awesome.
01:09:34I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:37Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:43No, no, no.
01:09:44I know what I want.
01:09:46Size seven.
01:09:48Oh, baby can't even walk,
01:09:50but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:52Come on.
01:09:53She wants the white shoes.
01:10:00Ignore her.
01:10:01She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:10:03Here, let me help you.
01:10:04Come on.
01:10:06She seems kind.
01:10:16I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:10:18She's just doing her job.
01:10:21How do they feel?
01:10:23Well, I love the style,
01:10:24but it's too small.
01:10:26I think I need a size up.
01:10:28Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:33Right away.
01:10:34I'll be right back.
01:10:36She's not only kind,
01:10:37she's patient.
01:10:38Was I wrong about her?
01:10:40Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:58Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:00She can't walk.
01:11:02That's just pure evil.
01:11:09Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:11:12She's in a wheelchair.
01:11:14Who cares?
01:11:14It's the last pair.
01:11:16I get paid commission.
01:11:17I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:26See?
01:11:27This is your whole problem.
01:11:30This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:33I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:37I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:40She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:42People who insult her all day?
01:11:45I'm your manager.
01:11:51Sell the old bitty the shoes,
01:11:53or you're fired.
01:12:00Did I stutter?
01:12:06You don't have to fire me.
01:12:09I quit.
01:12:15I don't work here anymore.
01:12:18Listen,
01:12:19don't buy the shoes.
01:12:21They're broken.
01:12:22Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:12:24You're a good person, after all.
01:12:28Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:30I'm sorry?
01:12:33Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:35Get out!
01:12:42You're not disabled?
01:12:43Selling a broken heel
01:12:45to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:48Absolutely shameful.
01:12:50Who are you?
01:12:51I am the chairwoman
01:12:53of the Harrison Group,
01:12:55and the owner of the store.
01:12:58You're Eleanor Harrison,
01:13:00mother of the CEO?
01:13:02I am.
01:13:03And you, my dear,
01:13:05are fired.
01:13:07What did I do?
01:13:08You are a good person.
01:13:13From now on,
01:13:15this store is yours to run.
01:13:19Are you serious?
01:13:23That's right.
01:13:25Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:27You are professional,
01:13:30responsible,
01:13:30far better than that
01:13:32two-bit manager.
01:13:36You.
01:13:38Out.
01:13:39I'll leave.
01:13:42I'm leaving.
01:13:46I...
01:13:46I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:49No.
01:13:50Don't worry.
01:13:52You're getting a promotion.
01:13:54You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:59First assignment,
01:14:00I want that row
01:14:02and that row
01:14:03and the entire display case.
01:14:07Pack it all up
01:14:08and bring it to my house.
01:14:10Okay.
01:14:11Yeah.
01:14:13Once we're home,
01:14:14I'll tell her
01:14:15I'm her mother-in-law.
01:14:17I can't wait
01:14:18to finally meet
01:14:18my granddaughter.
01:14:19She's the mother of a CEO.
01:14:28Of course she lives like this.
01:14:39Mrs. Harrison?
01:14:41I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:45Max?
01:14:46Eva?
01:14:47What are you doing here?
01:14:51I, uh...
01:14:52There you are, Eva.
01:14:55Wonderful we can finally
01:14:56meet each other properly.
01:14:58My new daughter-in-law.
01:15:01What are you...
01:15:02That means you really are
01:15:06the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:15:09Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:15:11Stop.
01:15:13And you.
01:15:14You lied to me at the store.
01:15:16You were both just testing me?
01:15:19Is this some sick game
01:15:21rich people play?
01:15:21I'm sorry, Eva.
01:15:23I thought you might be
01:15:24using my son
01:15:25just after his money.
01:15:26But I was wrong.
01:15:28Eva, please.
01:15:29I don't deserve
01:15:30to be treated like this.
01:15:31Not every working-class girl
01:15:33is after your money.
01:15:35How could you think that of me?
01:15:36It's not like that, dear.
01:15:38Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:41Mom, what did you do?
01:15:43I-I was just trying
01:15:44to get the two of you
01:15:45back together.
01:15:46We're not together.
01:15:48And I can't love something
01:15:49that was never real.
01:15:54I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:57What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:59Go after her!
01:16:03Eva.
01:16:04Let me go!
01:16:05I swear it's not
01:16:06what you think.
01:16:07Look, we come from
01:16:08two completely different worlds.
01:16:09Stop pretending like you care.
01:16:10I'm not pretending.
01:16:12Okay, I can't fake
01:16:13what we have.
01:16:14And everything I've done
01:16:15for you and Piper,
01:16:16this is real.
01:16:22Touch my wife again
01:16:23and I will snap
01:16:24every finger
01:16:24that you've got.
01:16:26Max, you came.
01:16:27God, you are driving me
01:16:29fucking insane.
01:16:32I'll do whatever it takes
01:16:33to be a good husband,
01:16:34a good father.
01:16:36Just say the word.
01:16:40See?
01:16:42Stop fighting.
01:16:45We belong together.
01:16:48You're wrong.
01:16:49Wrong about what?
01:16:51That you care?
01:16:53Or we belong together?
01:16:55Look, I already told you.
01:16:56We're from two
01:16:57completely different worlds.
01:16:59Now, I held up
01:16:59my end of the deal
01:17:00and I met your mother
01:17:01like we discussed.
01:17:03Now, I want a fake divorce
01:17:04from my fake cousin.
01:17:08Eva.
01:17:11Eva!
01:17:14I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:17:16Walking away
01:17:16is the only choice I have.
01:17:24Ow!
01:17:26Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:28Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:17:30Come here.
01:17:39No, you're not fine.
01:17:40You're sad.
01:17:43I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:47I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:48I want Max to be my real daddy.
01:17:56Don't you want to be with him?
01:18:00Love bug.
01:18:04Like a coward?
01:18:07I've always taught you to be brave.
01:18:10Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:18:12I believe in you.
01:18:14What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:18:17I know exactly what to say to him.
01:18:22Maximus deserves to know
01:18:23Piper is his daughter.
01:18:25Enough sulking.
01:18:33Go get your wife
01:18:35and my grandbaby back.
01:18:37Don't you think I want to?
01:18:39She doesn't want me.
01:18:41I didn't raise you to give up.
01:18:43Your daughter is still out there.
01:18:44You can't abandon her.
01:18:46Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:48I made a deal with Eva
01:18:49to play my wife.
01:18:50And Piper, she was
01:18:53an added bonus.
01:18:55What are you talking about?
01:18:57I already ran a DNA test.
01:19:00Piper is your daughter.
01:19:02What?
01:19:03See for yourself.
01:19:10I was right.
01:19:12Seven years ago.
01:19:14New Year's.
01:19:15That woman was Eva.
01:19:20Eva.
01:19:28Hey.
01:19:30Daddy!
01:19:32Daddy!
01:19:33Piper!
01:19:35Oh.
01:19:37I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:44You came back.
01:19:47I, uh...
01:19:49Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:19:58I, uh...
01:20:00I was scared.
01:20:02But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:20:05Because what we have is real
01:20:06and it's worth fighting for.
01:20:09Sweetheart, I have
01:20:10something to tell you.
01:20:13I have something to tell you, too.
01:20:17Piper is your daughter.
01:20:18Piper is your daughter.
01:20:19You knew.
01:20:20My sweet granddaughter.
01:20:22Hey, Mom.
01:20:23Oh.
01:20:27Well, I just found out for sure
01:20:28a few minutes ago.
01:20:29But you've known this whole time?
01:20:31I was scared.
01:20:32Okay, I didn't know
01:20:33if you were going to take her from me.
01:20:34I didn't know
01:20:35how you were feeling.
01:20:38How could you not know
01:20:39how I felt?
01:20:39I love you, Eva.
01:20:54I love you, too.
01:20:56I promise
01:20:57for the rest of my life
01:20:59I'm going to make it up to you.
01:21:02As long as we're together
01:21:03it doesn't matter where we are.
01:21:05Will you marry me, Eva?
01:21:17For real this time?
01:21:19Yes.
01:21:19Yes, of course.
01:21:22I'll marry you.
01:21:22Yes.
01:21:28Hi.
01:21:35Looks like you're stuck with me
01:21:36the next Christmas
01:21:37and the Christmas after that
01:21:39and forever.
01:21:39I wouldn't have it
01:21:43any other way.
01:21:49Who's that?
01:21:51Eva!
01:21:54Take me back!
01:21:57I'm sorry!
01:21:58I'm sorry!
01:21:58I struck your tire!
01:22:02Looks like I have to
01:22:03take out the trash.
01:22:05Again.
01:22:08No?
01:22:09Not funny?
01:22:09I'm sorry!
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