Rented a Billionaire Husband for Christmas #reelshort
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'm on the space shuttle for the second time
00:00:02and this guy passes out
00:00:04Alright, it's about that time
00:00:06So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:08Uh, uh
00:00:14Yeah, him
00:00:16Hi!
00:00:18Just play along
00:00:206, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
00:00:24Hey!
00:00:30You have a cute scar
00:00:50It's just my birthmark
00:00:52If you want me to stop, tell me now
00:00:56I don't want you to stop
00:00:58I don't want you to stop
00:01:00Oh
00:01:02Oh
00:01:04Oh
00:01:06Oh
00:01:08Oh
00:01:10Oh
00:01:12Oh
00:01:14Oh
00:01:16Oh
00:01:18Oh
00:01:20Oh
00:01:22Oh
00:01:24Oh
00:01:26Oh
00:01:28Oh
00:01:30I was so drunk last night
00:01:32I can't remember who I was with
00:01:34I must return this to her so I can see her again
00:01:44Happy New Year
00:01:46Sam, it's me
00:01:48Hey, find me the girl from last night
00:01:50I don't care how, just do it
00:01:52I will find you
00:01:54I will find you
00:01:58Maximus
00:02:00Can you get married already?
00:02:02Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend
00:02:04I need grandkids
00:02:06I need you to-
00:02:07Message received mom
00:02:08I need to go now
00:02:10I have to inspect the new headquarters
00:02:12Seven years
00:02:20Seven years
00:02:22Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:24And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:34Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:36Boss, it's been years
00:02:38I'm ready to go to the inspection now
00:02:42Your vest, sir
00:02:44Uh, but first we found your fake Christmas wife
00:02:46She's waiting in the coffee shop
00:02:48Blonde hair, red top
00:02:50And, sir, make sure you use an alias
00:02:52We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO
00:02:54Or she'll jack up the price
00:02:56Good
00:02:57Finally I can get my mother off my back
00:03:01Hi
00:03:02One iced vanilla latte please
00:03:04And one hot chocolate
00:03:06I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy
00:03:10Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore
00:03:15Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend
00:03:18It's just for Christmas
00:03:19But mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:22Where's my real one?
00:03:24Uh...
00:03:30I'll tell you when you're older
00:03:32Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:34Daddy!
00:03:35No!
00:03:36Whoa!
00:03:38Daddy!
00:03:39No!
00:03:40I'm sorry
00:03:41I'm not your dad
00:03:43No, I know you're my daddy
00:03:44Just as handsome as I thought
00:03:45Oh
00:03:47Mommy, hurry!
00:03:48Your fit Christmas husband has arrived!
00:03:49I asked the agency for an average looking guy
00:03:50He's gorgeous
00:03:51Ugh
00:03:52Ugh
00:03:53Why is she...
00:03:54Why is she...
00:03:55Why is she...
00:03:56Why is she...
00:03:57Why is she...
00:03:58No, I'm sorry
00:03:59I'm sorry
00:04:00I'm not your dad
00:04:01I'm not your dad
00:04:02No, I know you're my daddy
00:04:03Just as handsome as I thought
00:04:04Oh
00:04:05Mommy, hurry
00:04:06Why is she...
00:04:07Why is she feeling so familiar?
00:04:09I asked the agency for an average-looking guy. He's gorgeous.
00:04:21Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:24She's waiting in the coffee shop. Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:28You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:30So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:33See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:35Hi, my name's Piper. What's your name?
00:04:37Oh, Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:41Max, Aurelius.
00:04:42Eva, I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:48I just need a wife for the holidays. I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:04:54So, per hour agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:00$1,000 an hour?
00:05:01Well, yeah.
00:05:03It's $500 a day.
00:05:05Is that enough?
00:05:06That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:08Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:10That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:12You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:14Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:16Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:19and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:22And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:24so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:26So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:31Fine.
00:05:32But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:37Okay.
00:05:38Deal.
00:05:41Ready to go get married?
00:05:42Wow.
00:05:56Clean up nice.
00:05:58This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:00Pictures.
00:06:01Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:12I think we got it.
00:06:36Oh, I need some photos of us together, too,
00:06:40to prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:43and have a happy family.
00:06:44Yeah, of course.
00:06:55Happy holidays, Mom.
00:06:57From my family to you.
00:06:59Bad news, boss.
00:07:09The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:10to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:13Wait, she bailed?
00:07:14Then who is...
00:07:16Who is she?
00:07:20Whatever.
00:07:21It doesn't matter.
00:07:23I've got what I need.
00:07:26Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:27I already found someone.
00:07:34Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:37Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:39Christmas shopping?
00:07:41I should come.
00:07:43Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:44in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:46I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:49It will make it more believable.
00:07:53Fine.
00:07:54Yeah, fine.
00:07:55Okay.
00:07:56You can come.
00:07:57Let's go.
00:08:05Which mall are we going to?
00:08:06Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:08Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:09What the actual fuck?
00:08:20Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:25Get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:29She does kind of look like him.
00:08:37So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:42Here, let me get this.
00:08:45I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:46Oh, so I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice in front of them.
00:08:59Okay.
00:09:00Should we use our tongues or?
00:09:02No, no, definitely not.
00:09:04And absolutely no.
00:09:05Sex?
00:09:06Yes.
00:09:07This is strictly business.
00:09:10Anything physical outside of that does not have any.
00:09:13What?
00:09:15Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:16I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:24Let's go.
00:09:31Here.
00:09:32What are you doing?
00:09:33I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:37Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:41Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:4650% off pies?
00:09:48Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5012 pumpkin pies, I hear this right?
00:09:51They're the best kind.
00:09:53Hurry up and go.
00:09:54Go.
00:09:54What are you standing here for?
00:09:57Hello there.
00:09:58Hi.
00:09:59You ready?
00:09:59Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:00Okay, great.
00:10:02We have a holiday special today.
00:10:04Spend $500, get 10% off, and you are just short $15 if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:10Oh, great.
00:10:10Yeah, what do you have that's just $15?
00:10:13Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:15I just got here.
00:10:17Relax.
00:10:18Yeah, yeah.
00:10:21Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:23Okay, thank you.
00:10:26Hurry up and pay.
00:10:30I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:32You can wait your turn.
00:10:38Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:40Oh, wait, wait, wait, not the pies.
00:10:47Not the pies.
00:10:48You can just set those on top.
00:10:54Hi, guys.
00:10:56I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:10:59I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:00I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:00I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:02Of course.
00:11:03Thank you so much.
00:11:04Of course.
00:11:05I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:07She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:08Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:10Just to give it away.
00:11:11Yeah.
00:11:13Merry Christmas.
00:11:14Merry Christmas.
00:11:15Hi.
00:11:16Merry Christmas.
00:11:17What?
00:11:18You do that often?
00:11:19As often as I can.
00:11:20We should go.
00:11:21We got to pick up paper.
00:11:22We should go.
00:11:23We got to pick up paper.
00:11:25Watch out.
00:11:27You done feeling me up?
00:11:57Shut up.
00:11:57Sorry, I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:00Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:07And don't be late.
00:12:20Harrison Group?
00:12:21Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:24Sort of.
00:12:25Not that I'm judging, I just...
00:12:27need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:32Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:35I think that's respectable.
00:12:37Can we pick another company?
00:12:39No.
00:12:40Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:42And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:43My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:45So, it's perfect.
00:12:51Oh, and, uh, wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:12:54Don't worry.
00:12:55Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:12:56I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:00Too much.
00:13:01Let's go, Sam.
00:13:23It's time to check out the new HQ set.
00:13:24Hold on, you're covered in water, and you have a hair on your shoulder, and it's not yours.
00:13:30It's my daughter's.
00:13:32Daughter's?
00:13:34Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:37Hey, there they are!
00:13:53Yay!
00:13:53Nice to meet you!
00:13:54Nice to meet you!
00:13:55Aw!
00:13:55Aw!
00:13:56Aw!
00:13:56Dad.
00:13:57So glad you made it.
00:13:58Aw, I missed you.
00:14:00Hi.
00:14:00So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:04He's coming.
00:14:05He's coming.
00:14:06Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:08Good, good, good.
00:14:10So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:13When's he arriving?
00:14:15Aw, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:20Poor thing.
00:14:21Not surprising.
00:14:22I mean, she's 30.
00:14:23Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:26No.
00:14:27Plus, a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:33This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:36Auntie Pamela, Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:41We're only worried about you.
00:14:43All these years without a husband.
00:14:46Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:47Ugh.
00:14:48You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:51And look what happened.
00:14:52She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:14:56I'm not alone.
00:14:57Mm-hmm.
00:14:58And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:04He's a manager.
00:15:05Manager of what?
00:15:08Trash.
00:15:09Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:13Mm-hmm.
00:15:14You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:16Actually, he's right here.
00:15:20Oh, wow.
00:15:21Wow.
00:15:22He is really good looking.
00:15:23Ah, must be AI.
00:15:24Mm-hmm.
00:15:25Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:26Fake.
00:15:27That's enough.
00:15:28She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:29Show some respect.
00:15:30Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned
00:15:33him down?
00:15:34Well guess what?
00:15:35William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:36Makes 500 grand a year.
00:15:37Oh, that's half a million.
00:15:39Half a million.
00:15:40Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:15:45And speak of the devil.
00:15:46No.
00:15:47No, no.
00:15:48No, no.
00:15:49No, no.
00:15:50No, no, no, no.
00:15:51No.
00:15:52No.
00:15:53No, no, no.
00:15:54No.
00:15:55No, no.
00:15:56No, no, no, no, no.
00:15:57No, no, no, no, no.
00:15:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:16:02And speak of the devil.
00:16:07Willie, you made it.
00:16:19There you are.
00:16:20Oh, look at you now, living the dream.
00:16:24Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:26Well, you could be driving around in a car like that
00:16:29had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:32So married, huh?
00:16:34Is it serious?
00:16:37That's what marriage is.
00:16:38It's pretty serious.
00:16:40Wow.
00:16:41You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:43Makes sense, though.
00:16:45You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:48Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:50Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:16:53Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:16:57That's right.
00:16:58Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:02Women love a man in red.
00:17:04Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:07When I sit on my lap.
00:17:09Don't touch me.
00:17:10Oh, so entitled.
00:17:13Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:16And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:21I mean, look at that car.
00:17:23Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:26Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:30Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:35I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:37My mom would never marry.
00:17:43She already has a husband, he's gonna kick your butt.
00:17:46wait.
00:17:51Well, then where is he?
00:17:54Because I don't see him.
00:17:55Does anyone see him?
00:17:58Now, just like I thought, telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:05That puts you on the naughty list, and let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:11Hey.
00:18:12Mommy.
00:18:13Hey.
00:18:14Are you okay?
00:18:15I see your hands.
00:18:16Oh, my God.
00:18:17I'm gonna take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:20Come on, honey.
00:18:21Let's go.
00:18:22What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:25How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:30Let me go.
00:18:31Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:36Let me go.
00:18:38Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:18:43Well, it looks like we've got a real grinch to dispose off.
00:18:58Max, you came.
00:19:00Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:04Where's Piper?
00:19:05William Hitter.
00:19:07Mom, Deadhut, take her inside.
00:19:09Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:12Well, well, well. If it isn't a waste marriage I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:17That's right.
00:19:19Now I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:23Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:27I'm Max.
00:19:28Eva told us all about you. From New York. Polite. Handsome.
00:19:32Just like she said.
00:19:34Wow. He was an A.I.
00:19:37See? He's real.
00:19:39And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:42Son of a bitch! You just ruined my suit!
00:19:45And watch the way that you drive that pristine automobile.
00:19:49Gap. Car. Oh, my God. That's worth more than a house.
00:19:54That car. It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:00Wait. Are you?
00:20:06Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:09And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:11I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:13You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:16You stole it!
00:20:17That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:19Jesus!
00:20:20How did he get away with it?
00:20:22That's what I want to know.
00:20:23Enough! Please!
00:20:25I trust my daughter.
00:20:28She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:31Max, be honest with me.
00:20:34Where did that car come from?
00:20:36How much did you want for it?
00:20:39I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:43So?
00:20:44You need a breath, man.
00:20:48Hey, that's it! I'm calling the cops!
00:20:49Oh, way ahead of you.
00:20:51Wait.
00:20:52What?
00:20:54Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:20:57Oh, well.
00:20:58Too late.
00:20:59Listen, hon. I believe you. But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:11Mr. Smith, don't worry. It's my car. Okay? It's not stolen.
00:21:15Yeah? If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:19Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:21Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:23Okay. I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:25But then you have to get lost.
00:21:27And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:30Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:32Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison. Loser!
00:21:35Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:40Jesus. Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:43It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:47Here. Title and proof of ownership.
00:21:57Mr. Harrison?
00:22:00Mr. Harrison?
00:22:03Mr. Harrison?
00:22:05Mr. Harrison?
00:22:07Just play alone.
00:22:09Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:11Now get the fuck out of here.
00:22:13Before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:15Yes, sir! I'm so sorry, sir!
00:22:17Please accept my serious apologies.
00:22:20Oh, that William. What a jerk, huh?
00:22:35He fooled me.
00:22:36What can I say?
00:22:37Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:41Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:43Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:44We were just looking out for you.
00:22:46Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:22:49You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:22:51Soon.
00:22:52Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:22:55A job at the Harrison Group even in the mailroom would open doors.
00:23:00We are family, aren't we?
00:23:02Family takes care of each other.
00:23:05If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group,
00:23:07you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:09Abigail, come on. Talk to her for us.
00:23:12Pause.
00:23:13Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:15Yeah.
00:23:16I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:19My daughter is just far too busy for your best life for my new son-in-law.
00:23:24Come on, guys. Let's go in. Welcome to the family.
00:23:31Welcome. Come on in. Come on in.
00:23:33This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:38You can't tell the difference between A.I. and reality.
00:23:42My fault.
00:23:43You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:46Ugh!
00:23:48Hey, how do you have that car? And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group? And how do you...
00:24:00I told you. I work for Harrison Group, remember? I have a friend in high places.
00:24:05A friend who just hands you keys to million dollar one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:10Yes. It's the season of giving. He knows people. Has connections. He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:18You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:20Yeah, and you best not forget it. Capisce?
00:24:22Oh, my God. Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:26Dad! Mom! Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:31Oh, honey. We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking.
00:24:38I think they get it, hon.
00:24:41Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:43Oh, she's fine. One of you guys just get settled in and we will go check on her.
00:24:48And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:24:53Great.
00:24:54See you in a bit, shall we?
00:24:56What are you doing?
00:24:59Okay.
00:25:01Hey, was that not a breach of contract?
00:25:04Relax. It was just a hug.
00:25:09Ugh.
00:25:11We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:14You'll be okay. It's just one week.
00:25:16Kill me now.
00:25:17Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:19I need to get paid.
00:25:25What are you doing?
00:25:27That's weird.
00:25:28They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:31I don't know. Something just feels off.
00:25:33That's ridiculous.
00:25:35I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:37Make our progress to prove it?
00:25:38I don't like this.
00:25:41I don't think that.
00:25:42Later.
00:25:44Let's go.
00:25:49Here we go.
00:25:51Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:25:53Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:25:55To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:25:59Aw.
00:26:00Welcome.
00:26:01Cheers.
00:26:02Thank you, Ms. Smith.
00:26:03Looks great.
00:26:04Aw, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:06I had no idea what you liked,
00:26:08so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:11But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:15Mmm.
00:26:16Oh, no. Mom's testing him.
00:26:17She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:19You mean to tell me you two are married
00:26:20and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:26Ow.
00:26:27Eva, sweetie.
00:26:29Kicking my foot.
00:26:30Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:31I...
00:26:32Oh, jeez.
00:26:34It's okay.
00:26:35Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:37I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:44Um...
00:26:52Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:26:53Did I hear this right?
00:26:54They're the best kind.
00:26:57Well, of course.
00:26:58It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:00See?
00:27:01Are you happy now?
00:27:02That's good, but something still feels off.
00:27:05Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:08We had a whirlwind romance,
00:27:10and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other,
00:27:13but our marriage is real.
00:27:15I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:19Uh-huh.
00:27:20Now those are quality.
00:27:23Okay.
00:27:24Well, then answer this.
00:27:26Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:30Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:31I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:36Well, um...
00:27:38It's...
00:27:39Silly face.
00:27:40Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:42Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:45Silly face.
00:27:47I am not paying extra for this.
00:27:49Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:27:51Christmas gift.
00:27:52It's losers.
00:27:53It's nice.
00:27:55You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:27:57Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith,
00:27:59there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:01And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:04I'll drink to that.
00:28:06I agree with you there.
00:28:07So, come on, guys.
00:28:08Let's eat.
00:28:22And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:25I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:28Nice and festive for you.
00:28:30No complications, right?
00:28:32Sorry, honey.
00:28:33Uh, Mom, you know what?
00:28:34I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:36Oh, honey.
00:28:37Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:41Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:43The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:45Something about water conservation.
00:28:47That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:28:4915 minutes?
00:28:51Honey, it's no big deal.
00:28:52Just shower together.
00:28:54Yes.
00:28:55Shower together?
00:28:56Shower together?
00:28:59Just shower together.
00:29:00Okay, you guys.
00:29:01Have a good night, okay?
00:29:06You heard her.
00:29:07Whoa!
00:29:08Why are you stripping?
00:29:20Well, I can't take a shower with your clothes on.
00:29:34Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:35You have 15 minutes.
00:29:36Nice try.
00:29:37I am not showering with you.
00:29:39All right, sleep yourself.
00:29:40More room for me in there.
00:29:41Not if I meet you there first.
00:29:42Come on, Max.
00:29:43Get out of the way.
00:29:44We agreed.
00:29:45Nothing physical.
00:29:46You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:29:47Relax.
00:29:48I won't touch you unless you say you want me to.
00:29:51But that'll cost extra.
00:29:52You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:29:53I won't touch you unless you say you want me to.
00:29:59But that'll cost extra.
00:30:05In your dreams.
00:30:26In your dreams.
00:30:28Free to join me.
00:30:48You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower or water left.
00:30:52You wish.
00:30:54Why aren't you getting in?
00:30:55Pray you'll fall for me.
00:30:58It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:00Oh, yeah?
00:31:02True.
00:31:14Holy shit.
00:31:18This is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:23I'll say.
00:31:24What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:27Still think you can resist?
00:31:30Baby.
00:31:32I don't think I want you.
00:31:37I should have.
00:31:42Or maybe we should.
00:31:44God, he's such a good kisser.
00:31:46Why does this feel so familiar?
00:31:48Why does this feel so familiar?
00:31:55Mom, we're so sexy.
00:31:58Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:08What?
00:32:09I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:11It's not you, Max.
00:32:12It's us.
00:32:13It's this.
00:32:13This is all an act.
00:32:14Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:17You're right.
00:32:20I'm sorry.
00:32:20I just need to be sorry.
00:32:22I just need to be sorry, just...
00:32:27That birthmark.
00:32:37What is that?
00:32:40It's him.
00:32:41The man from New Year's.
00:32:42Is he Piper's father?
00:32:47Why are you acting?
00:32:50Oh my God.
00:32:52Max is Piper's father.
00:32:54Are you okay?
00:32:56Yeah.
00:32:57I just, um...
00:32:58I just got lightheaded.
00:32:59I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:02Alone.
00:33:02Of course.
00:33:08We have a daughter together.
00:33:10Oh my God.
00:33:11What do I do?
00:33:18I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:33:20You can take the bed.
00:33:22Thanks.
00:33:25Hey.
00:33:26Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:28Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:30I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:32So if there's something you need,
00:33:33I can help.
00:33:35I want to help.
00:33:37He's Piper's father.
00:33:38He has a right to know.
00:33:41Um, Max?
00:33:43How would you feel
00:33:45if you found out you had a kid?
00:33:50A child?
00:33:52No, no, no.
00:33:52That's impossible.
00:33:54I'm very careful.
00:33:57Mostly.
00:33:59I just mean I'm not the type of guy
00:34:01to sleep around.
00:34:02Family to me is a big commitment
00:34:04and I don't want any loose ends.
00:34:07You know?
00:34:08Right.
00:34:10He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:12I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:14Why do you ask?
00:34:16No reason.
00:34:17Just curious.
00:34:19No, I feel like you're
00:34:21going somewhere with this.
00:34:23What?
00:34:25No.
00:34:25Well, then,
00:34:26can I ask you a question?
00:34:29Shoot.
00:34:35Where did you get these?
00:34:36And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:39I did not get those.
00:34:41I don't know where those came from.
00:34:42Are you sure you're just not trying
00:34:44to break the contract?
00:34:48Give me the rest.
00:34:49Give me the rest.
00:34:49Give me the rest.
00:34:50Give me the rest.
00:34:50Give me the rest.
00:34:51Woo!
00:34:51Woo!
00:34:51Evan, the truth is
00:35:04is that I...
00:35:06Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:09Just a second.
00:35:12Come in.
00:35:13Hey, hon.
00:35:15Oh!
00:35:16Sorry for interrupting,
00:35:17but Piper is asking
00:35:19for a bedtime story
00:35:20before I tuck her in.
00:35:21Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:23We're kind of in the middle
00:35:24of something.
00:35:25I can see that.
00:35:27Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:29I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:31Well, atta boy.
00:35:33You know what?
00:35:33Just put a shirt on.
00:35:35I'm going to go get her.
00:35:36Piper!
00:35:37Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:39He sprang to his sleigh,
00:35:43to his team gave a whistle,
00:35:45and away they all flew,
00:35:46like the down of a thistle.
00:35:48But I heard him exclaim
00:35:49as he drove out of sight,
00:35:52Merry Christmas to all,
00:35:54and to all,
00:35:56a good night.
00:35:59If Piper knew he was her real dad,
00:36:01she'd be over the moon.
00:36:03Good night, Piper.
00:36:04Is her dad still around?
00:36:10Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:36:12because you're her dad.
00:36:15Uh, no.
00:36:16That man has no idea
00:36:18what a treasure
00:36:19he's missing out on.
00:36:24Do you really think so?
00:36:26From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:27Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:30He deserves to know.
00:36:38Max.
00:36:41You're Piper's father.
00:36:43I'll tell you
00:36:51when the time's right.
00:36:52I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:36:52Where's Piper?
00:37:18She must have snuck off
00:37:19while we were asleep.
00:37:20God, he's such a good kisser.
00:37:46Just gonna kiss and run?
00:37:49Not on my watch.
00:37:50Yeah, this.
00:37:56I remember this.
00:38:07Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:09How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:13Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:14It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:16Wonderful.
00:38:17Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:21Oh, no.
00:38:22What is that?
00:38:23Sardines and Saltines.
00:38:25It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:27It was my gram-grams favorite
00:38:28during wartime.
00:38:29Don't be shy.
00:38:30Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:33Max, you don't have to.
00:38:34No, no, no.
00:38:35It's okay.
00:38:35It's a Smith family staple.
00:38:39There we go.
00:38:40Good?
00:38:41Good?
00:38:41Good?
00:38:41It's grumpy.
00:38:42Well, you two better get dressed.
00:38:46You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:38:48Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:38:51That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:38:55What's the deal with them?
00:38:57Every year Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:14What's the deal with them?
00:39:16Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:18Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:39:22Hey, don't worry.
00:39:24I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:28Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:39:32Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:39:44Wait, that earring.
00:39:48Wait, that earring.
00:39:50You like it?
00:39:52I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:39:55Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:39:57I don't really remember the details, but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:03Right. It's just a common earring. Anyone could have it.
00:40:07Maybe I'm reading too much into it. She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:14So Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:18But Derrick said that Ava got married.
00:40:21What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:25An aging single mom. Slim pickings.
00:40:28I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:31That explains it. She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:40:35Oh, please, Miranda. Ava is your niece.
00:40:39Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:41Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one night stand.
00:40:44Her track record speaks for itself.
00:40:46Exactly. Not like my Sierra. Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:40:54Oh, they're here.
00:40:56Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:40:58Merry Christmas.
00:40:59You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:00I am.
00:41:01I'm Eva's husband.
00:41:02Max.
00:41:03Pleasure to meet you. Welcome.
00:41:04You're Eva's husband.
00:41:05But you're gorgeous.
00:41:06But not as handsome as you.
00:41:07Look at you two. You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:09Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:10Merry Christmas.
00:41:11This is from Max and I.
00:41:12Oh, my goodness.
00:41:13Thank you, Eva.
00:41:14Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:15Oops.
00:41:16Oh, my bad.
00:41:17Oh, a homemade gift.
00:41:18How thrifty.
00:41:19Not all gifts are for you, Daddy.
00:41:20Oh, my bad.
00:41:21Oh, a homemade gift.
00:41:22How thrifty.
00:41:23Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:41:24Mommy's right, you mean it'll have.
00:41:25You little.
00:41:26You will not lay a hand on my daughter or you will lose yours.
00:41:27Oh, my goodness.
00:41:28I just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:29I just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:30Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:31Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:32This is from Max and I.
00:41:33Oh, my goodness.
00:41:34Thank you, Eva.
00:41:35Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:36Oops.
00:41:37Oh, my bad.
00:41:38Oh, a homemade gift.
00:41:39How thrifty.
00:41:40Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:41:43Mommy's right, you mean all high.
00:41:45You little.
00:41:46You will not lay a hand on my daughter or you will lose yours.
00:41:52Oh, I think you broke my wrist.
00:41:55Look what you just did to my mother.
00:41:57My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:00He could ruin your life.
00:42:14Mommy, are you okay?
00:42:15I'm fine.
00:42:16I'm just wet, honey.
00:42:17Yeah.
00:42:18It's okay.
00:42:19It's okay.
00:42:20What are you?
00:42:23Ow!
00:42:24Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:27Did you just slap me?
00:42:29Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:31You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:32You know what, Sierra?
00:42:33I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:42:39Her family.
00:42:40She needs me.
00:42:41You okay, honey?
00:42:42Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:42:43Do something.
00:42:44You don't know who you're messing with.
00:42:45I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:42:46Oh, wow.
00:42:47I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:42:48Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:42:50Let's call him.
00:42:51I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:42:52Please.
00:42:53Who do you think you are?
00:42:54Enough!
00:42:55There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:42:57Fine, Dad.
00:42:58Let it go, Nathan.
00:42:59They're just jealous.
00:43:01For grandpa's sake, what is your fault?
00:43:03What's your fault about that?
00:43:04What's your fault?
00:43:05I'm just a little more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:07What's your fault?
00:43:09What's your fault?
00:43:10No, you're not.
00:43:11We're not dealing with the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:13I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:16Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:18Let it go, Nathan. They're just jealous.
00:43:22For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:26I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:30I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you. Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:34Alright, that's enough. Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:43:48Is this a joke?
00:44:00Can you please pass me some food? Hold it!
00:44:04Who said you could eat anything else? My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:12My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:14King crab, fresh from Alaska.
00:44:18And grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:20Three times the price.
00:44:22Fifty times the flavor.
00:44:24And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:26It's just petty. Maybe so.
00:44:28But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:32Fine.
00:44:34Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:44:36Come on, let's go. No, no.
00:44:38Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:44:42I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:44:44I know, dear.
00:44:46I just want to have our family together.
00:44:48Fine. We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:44:51Better a stray than a bitch.
00:44:53What was that?
00:44:57I just want to have our family together.
00:44:59Fine. We'll stay.
00:45:01Can I have a little napole?
00:45:03It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:05We'll get something right after.
00:45:07Like drive-thru?
00:45:09I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:11That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:15No strays!
00:45:17Ow!
00:45:18Sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:20Yes, I'm fine.
00:45:21You hit my child!
00:45:23You're fucking crazy!
00:45:24Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:32Don't worry, baby.
00:45:33I'll handle it.
00:45:36Don't worry, baby.
00:45:37I'll handle it.
00:45:38I'll handle it.
00:45:41Piper.
00:45:42Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:45:49Okay, sweetheart.
00:45:50Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:45:52As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:45:55Actually, I do.
00:45:57He's such a liar.
00:45:59This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:01Oh.
00:46:02It will be.
00:46:04Sam!
00:46:05Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:09I'm already on my way.
00:46:14Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:16I'm already on my way.
00:46:20You hear this guy?
00:46:21He wants the best king crab in the world from Antarctica.
00:46:26Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:28His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:46:31Max, what are you doing?
00:46:33Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:46:35Santa's already on his way.
00:46:36Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:46:46A helicopter?
00:46:48Ah!
00:46:49Ah!
00:46:54There's no way.
00:47:00How did you pull this off?
00:47:01Sam is like family.
00:47:02I thought I'd introduce you, too.
00:47:04Thanks, boss.
00:47:06Boss?
00:47:07Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:09Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:11Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:14I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:17You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:21Mm-hmm.
00:47:25Come on.
00:47:27You can stop kidding around.
00:47:29If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:47:33No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:35Come on.
00:47:36You can stop the charade.
00:47:37Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:47:40Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:47:44Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:47:47How is this possible?
00:47:58This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:04Who are you?
00:48:06I told you.
00:48:07I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:08That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:11Wait.
00:48:12No.
00:48:13Hold on.
00:48:14You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:19You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:21Hmm.
00:48:22Some of the small ones.
00:48:24I mean, you know that.
00:48:26You work for me.
00:48:27Oh, God.
00:48:28I insulted my own boss.
00:48:30I'm finished.
00:48:36Oh, God.
00:48:37I insulted my own boss.
00:48:39I'm finished.
00:48:40Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:48:43Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:48:45Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:48:47For tonight, your fee stands.
00:48:49And with that, your career.
00:48:52You're fired.
00:48:53Fired?
00:48:54Sam?
00:48:59Fired?
00:49:00Oh, God.
00:49:01I can't be fired.
00:49:03What?
00:49:05Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:06You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:08Please, Mr. Harrison, I'll do anything.
00:49:11Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:19And you.
00:49:20Oh, me?
00:49:22Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:23That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:25A family tradition.
00:49:27Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:30Sam?
00:49:31Will you do me the honors?
00:49:37Glassly.
00:49:42Merry Christmas, Aunt William.
00:49:46Father, do something!
00:49:48Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:49:50I'm leaving!
00:49:52Mmm, pumpkin's my favorite.
00:49:54Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:49:59Come on, sweetie.
00:50:00Daddy had the scrapped line just for you.
00:50:03Eat as much as you want.
00:50:04Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:09I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:11I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:13Honestly?
00:50:15This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:17Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:19Just like this.
00:50:21Does he really mean that?
00:50:22Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:24I can't tell.
00:50:26And that terrifies me.
00:50:32Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:50:33I brought you a gift.
00:50:34Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:50:42Oh, this is wonderful!
00:50:45Sam, I have a granddaughter!
00:50:48Tell me everything.
00:50:50Miss Eva Smith.
00:50:51Single mother.
00:50:52Small town gal.
00:50:53Didn't finish high school.
00:50:54Currently works in retail.
00:50:56Oh, Maximus.
00:50:57I thought I raised you better.
00:50:59A high school dropout?
00:51:01In the Harrison family?
00:51:04Not a chance!
00:51:08She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:12Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:13Silence!
00:51:14Get me the address where she works.
00:51:16It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:18That's nice.
00:51:19We own that one.
00:51:20Good work.
00:51:21But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:22Thanks.
00:51:23So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:51:26Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:51:27And how about you?
00:51:28Me?
00:51:29Yeah.
00:51:30Are you happy with your new husband?
00:51:31Eva.
00:51:32Eva.
00:52:03That birthmark.
00:52:04That birthmark.
00:52:05Family to me is a big commitment and I don't want any loose ends.
00:52:13You know?
00:52:15Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:17So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:19No feelings, no complications.
00:52:20No feelings, no complications.
00:52:22That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:23Hey, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:26Max.
00:52:27Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:30Well, it's cold.
00:52:32Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:52:35Max.
00:52:36I need to tell you something.
00:52:42Something important.
00:52:43What's gotten into her?
00:52:45Is she hiding something?
00:52:47Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:52:50I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:52:55Piper is...
00:52:58Piper is...
00:52:59Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:02Sweetie.
00:53:03Oh my gosh.
00:53:04Someone's swollen.
00:53:05Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:07Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:08Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:13Come on, Piper.
00:53:17Okay, let me see.
00:53:21I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:25But that's not true.
00:53:26You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:30Uh...
00:53:31Daddy!
00:53:32Yo!
00:53:33What?
00:53:34What?
00:53:39Don't you dare disrespect my husband!
00:53:45Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:48Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:49Really?
00:53:50Please stay, Daddy.
00:53:51Daddy?
00:53:55You think it was Scar?
00:53:58Hmm.
00:54:01I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:02Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:04I have one, too.
00:54:06Dad.
00:54:08I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:10Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:12Really?
00:54:13No way.
00:54:14No.
00:54:15It was actually a cactus.
00:54:17But it's still cool.
00:54:19I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:22Piper, how long have you had that?
00:54:23My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:54:25And how old are you?
00:54:26Six.
00:54:27Six?
00:54:28That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:54:29Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:54:30Yvor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:54:34What do I even say?
00:54:35And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:54:36Sorry, honey, this man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed till now.
00:54:39Um, yeah.
00:54:41Oh, okay.
00:54:43How old are you, huh?
00:54:44How old are you?
00:54:45How old are you?
00:54:46Six.
00:54:47Six?
00:54:48That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:54:49Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:54:50Ivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:54:51What do I even say?
00:54:52And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:54:53Sorry, honey, this man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:54:55Um, yeah.
00:54:58Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:02Eva.
00:55:07Okay, look.
00:55:11Piper is...
00:55:17Go on.
00:55:24Must be an emergency.
00:55:26Excuse me.
00:55:28Sorry, I'll take this.
00:55:35Mommy, are you okay?
00:55:37Yeah.
00:55:39Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:55:42I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:55:47Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:55:49I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:55:53She's a high school dropout.
00:55:55Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:55:57And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:55:59I'm Eva's husband, Max.
00:56:01That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:06He's missing out on.
00:56:10I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:11You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:13Your mother would take her away.
00:56:15After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:19Eva?
00:56:20Maximus?
00:56:21Are you even listening to me?
00:56:23No, Mom, Mom.
00:56:24Listen.
00:56:25I'm sorry.
00:56:26Okay?
00:56:27Eva's my wife.
00:56:28And I've made up my mind.
00:56:29I'm not leaving her.
00:56:31Eva?
00:56:34Oh, thank you.
00:56:35This is for you, Grandma.
00:56:36Oh, wow.
00:56:37That's so cool.
00:56:38What did you make?
00:56:39Derek, this is from Eva.
00:56:41Oh, thank you so much.
00:56:42Thanks, guys.
00:56:43I'm glad you're here.
00:56:44Oh, wow.
00:56:45That's so cool.
00:56:46What did you make?
00:56:47Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:56:48Oh, thank you so much.
00:56:49Thanks, guys.
00:56:50I'm glad you're here.
00:56:51Got it.
00:56:52Oh.
00:56:53Damn, these are nice.
00:56:54Thanks.
00:56:55Grandpa.
00:56:56Language.
00:56:57Little ears.
00:56:58Try it.
00:56:59I'm glad you're here.
00:57:00I'm glad you're here.
00:57:01I'm glad you're here.
00:57:02Oh.
00:57:03Oh.
00:57:04Oh.
00:57:05Damn.
00:57:06These are nice.
00:57:07Grandpa.
00:57:08Language.
00:57:09Little ears.
00:57:10Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:16It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:18Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:19Remember?
00:57:20The song that we sang.
00:57:21Ready? Ready?
00:57:22Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:57:24What do we got, guys?
00:57:25Billy.
00:57:26Walking home from our house.
00:57:27Christmas Eve.
00:57:32You never told me.
00:57:35Have we met before?
00:57:40She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:57:48I don't know what you're getting at.
00:57:51Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:02I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:03Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:04They're very common.
00:58:05I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:08No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:13Maybe.
00:58:16Are you okay?
00:58:19Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:22No.
00:58:23I'm fine.
00:58:25Um.
00:58:27Oh.
00:58:28I almost forgot.
00:58:31I got you this.
00:58:32You got me a gift, too?
00:58:34Tis the season.
00:58:36Open it.
00:58:49Gloves.
00:58:51Did you make these?
00:58:53Yeah.
00:58:54I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:58:58You've already done so much for me.
00:58:59I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:03How did I feel?
00:59:05Warm, right?
00:59:07Yeah.
00:59:08Warm.
00:59:10Soft.
00:59:13Perfect.
00:59:18Thank you, Eva.
00:59:20I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:59:24Really?
00:59:26Yeah, my mom.
00:59:27She partied all the time.
00:59:28And I got gifts.
00:59:30Plenty of them, but...
00:59:32I don't think she ever bought one herself.
00:59:36Nothing personal.
00:59:38Well, you deserve it.
00:59:40You're a good guy.
00:59:42And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
00:59:50What if that day's today?
00:59:51What if I already found someone special?
00:59:55Right here.
00:59:59Right here.
01:00:21Max, we can't...
01:00:27If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:00:34Come on.
01:00:36I don't want you to stop.
01:00:37No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:43No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:46I don't think I've already found you.
01:00:50I don't think I've always said that they're true.
01:00:51No matter how many years pass, I still want my life toán.
01:00:53It's true.
01:00:55It's true.
01:00:56It's true.
01:00:57It's true.
01:00:58It's true.
01:00:59It's true.
01:01:00I don't like you.
01:01:01It's true.
01:01:03It's true.
01:01:05It's true.
01:01:07Oh, God, you were trying to be fucking insane.
01:01:09Oh God, you are driving me, you're fucking insane.
01:01:16Piper!
01:01:25Piper?
01:01:28She can't see us.
01:01:39Eva?
01:01:49Grandma, I'm up here!
01:02:03That was way too close.
01:02:05Yeah, we would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:12Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:02:16Can I still unwrap my present?
01:02:21You still have been giving me mine.
01:02:27Let me give it to you.
01:02:35What?
01:02:36No!
01:02:37That's what you're going to do.
01:02:41You're fanny roars.
01:02:43Oh my lord.
01:02:44I really hate this.
01:02:45You're sick.
01:02:46We get out of the gate.
01:02:47A few seconds.
01:02:48I have stopped.
01:02:49I'm a pig.
01:02:50I'm a pig.
01:02:51I'm a pig.
01:02:52I had no pig.
01:02:53I'm a pig.
01:02:54I'm a pig.
01:02:55I'm a pig.
01:02:57I'm a pig.
01:02:58I'm very hungry.
01:02:59I want to eat.
01:03:00You're a pig.
01:03:02I don't want to eat.
01:03:03Why are you calling me to survey?
01:03:10Hello?
01:03:11Hello, Eva Smith.
01:03:14I'm Max's mother.
01:03:16Name your price.
01:03:17What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:03:20W-what?
01:03:21We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:03:25Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:03:29My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:03:33Piper is my daughter.
01:03:34And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:03:37So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:03:39But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:03:45Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:03:51You okay?
01:03:55Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:03:59So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:03What are you talking about?
01:04:04It's over.
01:04:05It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:11Eva, wait!
01:04:15So last night meant nothing to you?
01:04:21Well, Max, it's not real.
01:04:23None of it was real.
01:04:25Look.
01:04:26So, this is just a goodbye.
01:04:30Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:04:32Look.
01:04:35Last night,
01:04:37I let my guard down.
01:04:39But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:04:42And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:04:44Just tell me what you need.
01:04:47I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband,
01:04:49a good father.
01:04:51Just say the word.
01:04:58You don't get it.
01:05:00You don't get it.
01:05:08I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:10I won't give up on us.
01:05:31Are we here?
01:05:33Yes.
01:05:35As much as I don't want us to be,
01:05:37we're back.
01:05:41Piper.
01:05:42Sweetie, wake up.
01:05:43We're home.
01:05:48How can she just walk away?
01:05:49Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:05:59It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:01Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:04You promised.
01:06:06Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:08Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:12Alright, fine.
01:06:13When?
01:06:15Two days.
01:06:16I'll come pick you up.
01:06:18No need.
01:06:19Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.
01:06:26I know you and mommy thought,
01:06:29but she still really likes you.
01:06:31So don't give up, okay, daddy?
01:06:34Thank you, sweetie.
01:06:36If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:06:38I always fight for the ones I love.
01:06:46I love you.
01:06:48I love you.
01:06:52I love you.
01:06:53I love you.
01:06:54I love you.
01:06:55I love you.
01:06:56I love you.
01:06:57I love you.
01:06:59Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:01Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:04Boss.
01:07:06Boss?
01:07:10Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:07:13I need to go win back my family.
01:07:14Family?
01:07:16Boss, you okay?
01:07:18Never better.
01:07:20Go get her, Max.
01:07:25Give it your best smile.
01:07:27Ah, there he is.
01:07:29Maximus, darling.
01:07:31I have some prospects for you.
01:07:34Nice high society girls from the city.
01:07:39Oh.
01:07:41I told you.
01:07:42I already found the woman I love.
01:07:50Maximus, stop this.
01:07:52That Eva woman is scamming you, son.
01:07:56Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:00You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:03No, I'm not.
01:08:05Oh?
01:08:07I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:08:11I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:08:15What?
01:08:16That's her.
01:08:17The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:08:20Hi.
01:08:21Welcome in.
01:08:22Can I help you find something?
01:08:24I want to try those.
01:08:25Awesome.
01:08:26I'll get them for you right away.
01:08:27Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:08:30No, no, no.
01:08:31I know what I want.
01:08:32Size seven.
01:08:36Oh, little bitty can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:08:37Come on.
01:08:38She wants the white shoes.
01:08:39I know what I want.
01:08:40Size seven.
01:08:41Oh, little bitty can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:08:43Come on.
01:08:44She wants the white shoes.
01:08:45Ignore her.
01:08:46She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:08:47Here, let me help you.
01:08:48Come on.
01:08:49Come on.
01:08:50Come on.
01:08:51I know what I want.
01:08:52I know what I want.
01:08:53Size seven.
01:08:54Oh, little bitty can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:08:56Come on.
01:08:57She wants the white shoes.
01:08:58Ignore her.
01:08:59She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:09:00Here, let me help you.
01:09:01Come on.
01:09:03Come on.
01:09:04She seems kind.
01:09:08I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:09:10She's just doing her job.
01:09:16How do they feel?
01:09:25Well, I love the style.
01:09:30How do they feel?
01:09:31Well, I love the style, but it's too small.
01:09:35I think I need a size up.
01:09:37Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:09:41Right away.
01:09:43I'll be right back.
01:09:44She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:09:47Was I wrong about her?
01:10:00Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:07Well, who gives a shit?
01:10:09She can't walk.
01:10:13That's just pure evil.
01:10:16Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:10:19She's in a wheelchair.
01:10:21Who cares?
01:10:22It's the last pair.
01:10:23I get paid commission.
01:10:30I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:10:33See?
01:10:35This is your whole problem.
01:10:38This is why you'll always be broke.
01:10:42I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:10:45I'm not selling her junk.
01:10:47She has to deal with people like this?
01:10:50People who insult her all day?
01:10:53I'm your manager.
01:10:55I don't care if I'm your manager.
01:10:58Sell the old bitty the shoes, or you're fired.
01:11:07Did I stutter?
01:11:12You don't have to fire me.
01:11:16I quit.
01:11:16I don't work here anymore.
01:11:23Listen.
01:11:24Don't buy the shoes.
01:11:26They're broken.
01:11:27Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:29You're a good person, after all.
01:11:32Looks like I misjudged you.
01:11:35I'm sorry?
01:11:36Why are you still here, Eva?
01:11:40Get out!
01:11:42Get out!
01:11:48You're not disabled?
01:11:50Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:11:54Absolutely shameful.
01:11:56Who are you?
01:11:58I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group, and the owner of the store.
01:12:05You're Eleanor Harrison, mother of the CEO?
01:12:08I am, and you, my dear, are fired.
01:12:13What did I do?
01:12:17You are a good person.
01:12:20From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:12:26Are you serious?
01:12:28That's right.
01:12:30Don't be nervous, child.
01:12:33You are professional, responsible, far better than that two-bit manager.
01:12:38You, out.
01:12:42I'll leave.
01:12:44I'm leaving.
01:12:47I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:12:53No, don't worry.
01:12:56You're getting a promotion.
01:12:58You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:03First assignment.
01:13:05I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:13:12Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:13:14Hmm?
01:13:15Okay.
01:13:16Yeah.
01:13:17Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:13:21I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:13:26She's the mother of a CEO.
01:13:32Of course she lives like this.
01:13:35Mrs. Harrison, I'm here with your delivery.
01:13:50Max?
01:13:51Eva?
01:13:52What are you doing here?
01:13:54I, uh...
01:13:55There you are, Eva!
01:13:58Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:01My new daughter-in-law.
01:14:04What are you ta-
01:14:06That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:14:12Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:14:15Stop!
01:14:16And you?
01:14:17You lied to me at the store.
01:14:20Y-You were both just testing me?
01:14:23Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:14:26I'm sorry, Eva.
01:14:27I thought you might be using my son just after his money, but I was wrong.
01:14:32Eva, please.
01:14:33I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:14:35Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:14:38How could you think that of me?
01:14:40It's not like that, dear.
01:14:42Eva, what are you talking about?
01:14:44Mom!
01:14:45Mom!
01:14:46What did you do?
01:14:47I-I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:14:50We're not together.
01:14:51And I can't love something that was never real.
01:14:54I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:00W-What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:03Go after her!
01:15:05Eva.
01:15:06Let me go!
01:15:08I swear, it's not what you think.
01:15:10But we come from two completely different worlds.
01:15:12Stop pretending like you care!
01:15:13I'm not pretending!
01:15:15Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:15:17And everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:15:25Touch my wife again and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:15:29Max, you came.
01:15:30God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:15:33I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father, just say the word.
01:15:44See?
01:15:45Stop fighting.
01:15:47We belong together.
01:15:50You're wrong.
01:15:52Wrong about what?
01:15:54That you care?
01:15:56Or we belong together?
01:15:58Look, I already told you.
01:16:00We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:02Now, I held up my end of the deal, and I met your mother, like we discussed.
01:16:06Now, I want a fake divorce from my fake cousin.
01:16:09I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:16:19Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:16:21Ow!
01:16:22Are you okay, Mommy?
01:16:23Yeah, sweetie.
01:16:24I'm fine.
01:16:25Come here.
01:16:26No, you're not fine.
01:16:27You're sad.
01:16:28I'm okay, sweetie.
01:16:30I'm okay, Mommy.
01:16:31Yeah, sweetie.
01:16:32I'm fine.
01:16:33Come here.
01:16:42No, you're not fine.
01:16:44You're sad.
01:16:45I'm okay, sweetie.
01:16:50I miss Daddy, too.
01:16:55I want Max to be my real Daddy.
01:16:59Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:03Lovebug.
01:17:04You're right.
01:17:06What am I doing?
01:17:07Running like a coward?
01:17:09I've always taught you to be brave.
01:17:12Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:17:15I believe in you.
01:17:17What are you gonna do, Mommy?
01:17:19I know exactly what to say to him.
01:17:22Maximus deserves to know Piper is his daughter.
01:17:32Enough sulking.
01:17:35Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:17:39Don't you think I want to?
01:17:41She doesn't want me.
01:17:43I didn't raise you to give up.
01:17:45Your daughter is still out there.
01:17:46You can't abandon her.
01:17:48Mom, you don't get it.
01:17:50I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:17:53And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:17:57What are you talking about?
01:17:59I already ran a DNA test.
01:18:03Piper is your daughter.
01:18:05What?
01:18:06See for yourself.
01:18:13I was right.
01:18:14Seven years ago.
01:18:16New Year's, that woman was Eva.
01:18:29Eva!
01:18:30Hey.
01:18:31Daddy!
01:18:32Daddy!
01:18:33Piper!
01:18:34I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:18:36You came back.
01:18:50I, uh...
01:18:53Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:18:56I, uh...
01:19:01I was scared.
01:19:04But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:19:06Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:19:11Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:19:14I have something to tell you, too.
01:19:17Piper is your daughter.
01:19:20Piper is your daughter.
01:19:21You knew.
01:19:22My sweet granddaughter.
01:19:24Mama.
01:19:25Oh.
01:19:29Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:19:31But you've known this whole time?
01:19:33I was scared.
01:19:34Okay, I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:19:36I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:19:39How could you not know how I felt?
01:19:42I love you, Eva.
01:19:56I love you, too.
01:19:58I promise.
01:19:59For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:20:03As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:20:16Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:18For real this time?
01:20:20Yes.
01:20:21Yes.
01:20:22Yes, of course.
01:20:23I'll marry you.
01:20:28Yes.
01:20:29Hi.
01:20:37Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas, and the Christmas after that, and forever.
01:20:42I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:20:43Who's that?
01:20:44Eva!
01:20:45Take me back!
01:20:46I'm sorry!
01:20:47I'm sorry!
01:20:48I'm sorry!
01:20:49I'm sorry!
01:20:50You're tired!
01:20:51Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:20:53Again.
01:20:54No?
01:20:55Not funny?
01:20:56Take me back!
01:20:59I'm sorry!
01:20:59I'm sorry, you're tired!
01:21:04Looks like I have to take out the trash again.
01:21:09No?
01:21:10Not funny?
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