00:01Oh my gosh, that was so crazy!
00:04I am so honored to be able to help you!
00:08Yeah, of course!
00:10You're the Wadi and Dissident who's standing up to that asshole, Aladeen!
00:14So brave of you!
00:16My name's Zoe!
00:18What's yours?
00:23Allison?
00:24Right, Allison!
00:25What's your last name?
00:30Allison Burgers!
00:32It's nice to meet you, Allison Burgers!
00:34You know what?
00:35Oh!
00:36Allison!
00:37Could you please take your hands off my breasts?
00:40Those breasts?
00:41I thought you were a pie!
00:46Where are you taking me to?
00:48To Brooklyn!
00:49Oh!
00:58So, yeah!
00:59This is my store!
01:00This is the Free Earth Collective!
01:02We are a vegan, feminist, non-profit cooperative operating within an anti-racist, anti-oppressive
01:07framework for people of all or no genders!
01:10We are a pure democracy, just like Wadiah's going to be soon!
01:15Get me clothes, little man!
01:17Oh, you know what?
01:18There's some in the earthquake relief box in the lesbian bathroom, right there!
01:20Right!
01:23So, Allison, we're the only store in New York other than that fascist super chain Green World
01:28that sells your nation's specialty fruit, mafroom, which I know you people eat a lot of!
01:32Oh!
01:33I hope that didn't come off as like a cultural stereotype because I'm like the furthest thing
01:36from a racist!
01:37Pretty much haven't had a white boyfriend since high school!
01:40Well, the dark races are less choosy!
01:42Okay, that came off as kind of offensive!
01:45Thank you!
01:46Um, anyway, let me give you the grand tour!
01:50Up on the roof, we've got this amazing organic garden and...
01:53Boring!
01:54Do you sell any assault rifles?
01:56Oh, wait!
01:57I got it!
01:58Humor, right?
01:59I took a feminist clown workshop once!
02:01Help!
02:02Help!
02:03I'm trapped under a glass ceiling!
02:04What the fuck?
02:05I wasn't the best student, but, um, we've got this wellness center downstairs in the basement
02:11where, um, we do water birth.
02:13Have you ever seen a water birth?
02:14Not a water birth, but I've seen a water death.
02:17Wow!
02:18Was it moving?
02:19There was actually very little movement.
02:21A little wriggling, then two bubbles, and then a big bloop, and the wallet floats up.
02:26You seem educated!
02:28Yes, I went to Amherst.
02:30I love it when women go to school.
02:33It's like seeing a monkey on the roller skates.
02:36It means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.
02:39Okay.
02:40Well, hey, Allison, you know, we'd love to have you work here if you ever wanted to.
02:45All of our employees are political refugees, just like you.
02:49There's Hannah over here.
02:50She's from El Salvador.
02:52She's a really useful member of our team.
02:57Useful as what?
02:58A coat hanger?
02:59Come on!
03:01Allison, that's not funny.
03:02Okay.
03:03I tell you what, get back to work, Captain Hook.
03:05Captain Hook!
03:06That's funny.
03:07No, it's not funny.
03:08Who's that?
03:09Oh, this is Jotef.
03:10He's from a Sudanese tribe that has no concept of money.
03:13His entire village was ransacked.
03:16Hey, Sub-Saharan.
03:18Do you think you could get me 100 child soldiers here by 5 p.m.?
03:22No.
03:23Okay, time out.
03:24Time out.
03:25Whoa, whoa, whoa!
03:26Ah!
03:27The arms.
03:28I dread to think what kind of jungle you have on your Malawakh.
03:31That is very inappropriate.
03:33Don't tell me what to say and what not to say, little boy.
03:36I won't be...
03:37You need to put that finger away.
03:38I won't put my finger away because this...
03:40Look, I've got two fingers now.
03:41Ah!
03:42If you do not stop using hateful language, you cannot work here.
03:46All right.
03:47I promise.
03:48Okay.
03:50Ha ha!
03:51I tricked you, Wolverina!
03:55Justin Bieber's chubby double!
04:00Harry Potter!
04:01Potter?
04:03Himientos más pequeños.
04:04...
04:06...
04:07...
04:11...
04:13...
04:14...
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