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  • 1 week ago
Transcript
00:00Both parties have arrived at the Black Tower.
00:04Hi, guys.
00:06Father.
00:07Joseph Gordon.
00:09We are here so Tristram Steelheart,
00:12Lord of the Sky Spiders, can slay the Necromancer.
00:15You guys cool or are we gonna have to get red?
00:17Tiny Nuggins, Water Border of Goblins,
00:19will do the slaying because every man has the right
00:22to hang out with his grandson.
00:24Too bad you're outnumbered.
00:25No, they're not.
00:27I'm not part of this.
00:28I am Joseph Gordon Die Hard
00:31and I am only here to hug my father,
00:33which I now do.
00:34It's a trick.
00:35I'm not letting him hug me.
00:37I hug my father.
00:38He has gunpowder in his pants.
00:39I draw my sword.
00:40Stay back.
00:41I draw an arrow.
00:42So do I.
00:43Trolls out.
00:44Jeff, do you lower your sword?
00:45No.
00:45Dean, are you?
00:46I hug my father.
00:48You're impaled.
00:49Ah!
00:53Ah!
00:57Ah!
00:58Ah!
00:59Ah!
01:00Ah!
01:01Ah!
01:02Ah!
01:02Ah!
01:03Ah!
01:04Oh, good lord.
01:07Sun Slayer!
01:08I attack Jeff!
01:09Arrow and check!
01:10Arrow and Annie!
01:11I head for the door of the tower.
01:13So do I!
01:14Taste the blade of Die Hard!
01:16I turn a snake into a rope!
01:18Two arrows and Annie!
01:19I take the kid on Popper.
01:20Three damage.
01:21Lightning bolt!
01:22Lightning bolt!
01:23Lightning bolt!
01:23Pure moderate wounds!
01:25I spray all over there!
01:28I hold Britta's face in a puddle.
01:30Seven damage.
01:31Please!
01:31Please!
01:32Please!
01:32I'm going to kill Arrow!
01:34I'm going to kill Arrow!
01:35I'm going to kill Arrow!
01:36I think you're a little bit better than that on you.
01:38I ain't going to work so good in one eye, are you there now?
01:41Demonic eye look!
01:43Oh, please!
01:43I'm shoving up him!
01:44I put one right behind the ear!
01:46I'm going to kill Arrow!
01:48I'm going to kill Arrow!
01:48I'm going to kill Arrow!
01:49I'm going to kill Arrow!
01:50So, Riggs, hand in your character sheet.
02:01Top floor of the tower, one door.
02:03I open it.
02:03I cast Flamestrike on him.
02:04You cast that already.
02:05Mace!
02:06Okay.
02:06Missed.
02:07Ah!
02:07I hit him with a throwing dagger.
02:08You used all your knives.
02:09Ah!
02:10When one of you guys take care...
02:11What?
02:12You're all dead?
02:13I keep going.
02:14I follow.
02:15You've reached the Necromancer's workshop.
02:16You see his bed.
02:17Some bottles of goop.
02:18They're necromancing crap, but no Necromancer.
02:21I search.
02:22I search.
02:23Can I search, or are you going to stab me in the back?
02:24Hey, I am a thief, not a wuss.
02:26I search, too.
02:28You find a secret door.
02:29It's easy because it's already open.
02:30It leads to a ladder which goes straight down to another open door on the back of the tower.
02:34Oh, man!
02:35Way to go.
02:36That's great.
02:37He just got away.
02:38Hey, you can't just say he's gone.
02:40You owe us an ending.
02:42I owe you nothing.
02:44I am a dungeon master.
02:45I create a boundless world and I bind it by rules.
02:48Too heavy for a bridge?
02:49It breaks.
02:50Get hit, take damage.
02:51Spend an hour outside someone's front door fighting over who gets to kill him?
02:54He leaves through the back.
02:56He's out there somewhere.
02:57You might find him if you get your crap together.
03:00Hey, guys.
03:01Take it from a bunch of ghosts.
03:02This is no kind of life.
03:04You need fresh air and frozen yogurt.
03:06It's on me.
03:07Hug it out.
03:08Hug it out.
03:09Hug it out.
03:10Who even uses that phrase?
03:12I'm climbing down the ladder.
03:13I'm going to find this guy.
03:14I stay in search of the workshop.
03:16Does he have any stuff there that can heal me?
03:18You do find some potions.
03:19Okay.
03:20Well, I get half of that.
03:21Excuse me.
03:22You just went down the ladder.
03:23Well, I can hear you.
03:24Can I hear him looting upstairs?
03:25Not if I move about silently.
03:26Fine.
03:27Fine.
03:28If I heal you, can we divide the potions?
03:30Okay.
03:31But I decide who gets what.
03:32All right, fine.
03:33But we've got to be wary of traps and the wand of Orcus.
03:35What's going on?
03:37Get you out of your mind.
03:38Oh, you give me a break.
03:39I'm sorry.
03:40What the hell would you do?
03:42Do they like each other now?
03:43Are you kidding me?
03:45They can't stand being in the same room.
03:47I also don't think they can handle being apart.
03:49And I think they just found a way to avoid doing either.
03:59And that's the best most fathers and sons can do.
04:03You've made me so proud today.
04:07Does anyone know where we can buy a real sword?
04:09God, Efrain.
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