In this video, Outlook travelled to Periyar Thidal in Chennai, Tamil Nadu, to understand why and how self-Respect Marriages are still relevant in India. Why are self-respect marriages popular among younger generations? Reporter Priyanka Tupe met with some couples who have chosen self-respect marriages in their lives, and they share their journey.
As part of Outlook’s Dravida issue, we have also written a long-form story on self-respect marriage and its social relevance.
00:00To me, self-respect is the core of my existence, you know, without self-respect, there's no need to lie and there was no other marriage, you know, that could, that could give me that status of equality to that of my husband. That's the reason I chose a self-respect marriage.
00:16Today we are here at Periyarthidil in Chennai in Tamil Nadu. This is not just a memorial or a resting place of revolutionary leader and thinker Periyar, this Periyarthidil also conducts self-respect marriages.
00:39Self-respect marriage is an alternative to the Brahminical traditional weddings and this self-respect marriage is outcome of self-respect movement started by Periyar and his colleagues back then during 1920 and now even after 100 years, these kind of self-respect marriages are performed across Tamil Nadu.
01:01What exactly the self-respect marriages are and why do they resonate to the youth of Tamil Nadu and outside Tamil Nadu even today? We'll get to know soon. We'll speak to some people.
01:13I've had.
01:17If you are on the right side of that truth, how many people come and choose to come and ask people?
01:22You know, some people come and say that they will be the right side of this world and that they are in the right side of this country.
01:27Someone will come and see this kind of peace.
01:30If you are on the right side of this country, I will have all to come and ask people who are on the right side of this country.
01:35In 1974, in 1974, Periyah spoke about self-respect marriage in multiple occasions and multiple marriages as well.
02:00He always spoke about how women will feel liberated by these self-respect marriages.
02:07So the youngsters who can't convince their parents for self-respect marriage, they will choose the Tirukural marriage.
02:13Tirukural marriage because in the outset, it looks very traditional.
02:17And for families who are not really hung up on having a Brahmin place, they would be quite happy with it.
02:26And if you look at Periyah, Periyah's poet, he was minimalist as well as his poet, materialist.
02:34In a sense, he only wanted rituals or he only wanted processes which sort of like you bare, you remove all the unnecessary stuff.
02:43And what is left is two individuals coming together and they get married in front of their parents.
02:51And they want wise elders who will be part of the entire process.
02:58We are from different communities.
03:00So, because of my struggle, we have a one side of the rituals and what other side of the rituals?
03:06So, we have two classes.
03:08So, we have a relationship with all the people who are related to this.
03:11So, in subdivisions, we have a problem with the rituals in our class.
03:16So, I have an idea about self-respect marriage.
03:22So, it's a new term.
03:25So, this is how it will happen.
03:30There is no ritual. There is no higher or nothing will be there.
03:36Then, I explained it.
03:39But, it's okay in one or two days.
03:43Because, it's a follower.
03:45So, it will be accepted.
03:47But, I don't accept it.
03:49We were struggling for one year almost.
03:52Then, we got married with a self-respect marriage.
03:58Our marriage has been...
04:00In our stage itself, we played Parai.
04:02With the sounds of Parai, we exchanged our malas.
04:05And, also, there is other rituals.
04:07We exchanged our notes.
04:08We both, like, take the oath.
04:10That was the rituals.
04:11And, all the other people have been there.
04:13Like, they... I mean...
04:15I completely cherished with my marriage.
04:16Until, my marriage was being...
04:18Talked by my family.
04:19Though, there are...
04:20Still, we are getting hate from others.
04:22But, my family is very happy.
04:24And, my surrounding is very happy.
04:26And, people are still, like, asking us.
04:28Like, how to do this kind of marriage?
04:29How to enroll this?
04:30How long it will take for you to convince your family and other things?
04:34There was a time, I think, in 1956.
04:37When the legality of self-respect marriage was questioned.
04:40And, it was taken to the court.
04:41And, we had a judgement in Madras.
04:43Saying that these marriages are...
04:45They are not legally valid.
04:47Because, they do not adhere to the rules and the regulations of the Hindu Marriage Act.
04:52What the judgement also said was...
04:55The offsprings were born to such...
04:57Out of such marriages are also really deemed as illegitimate.
05:00But, what's really surprising is that...
05:03People then shy away from...
05:05Opting for self-respect marriage even after that judgement.
05:08Because, the legality of the offsprings didn't matter.
05:11It was the self-respect that this marriage provided.
05:14That is what it mattered to people.
05:16So, it broke away patriarchy.
05:18It broke...
05:19It breaks away the caste system.
05:20It breaks away the...
05:22The wealth...
05:23The...
05:24The differences between...
05:25You know.
05:26So, this is...
05:28Basically, it's a solution for almost everything.
05:30Yeah.
05:31And...
05:32Probably, if you conduct a root cause analysis.
05:33Yeah.
05:34In which you are...
05:35We will conduct a root cause analysis for all the problems that we have.
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