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Reality Realm US
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Short filmTranscript
00:00To be continued...
00:30I'm very nervous.
00:32Been a while since I've been on a date.
00:34Well, don't worry, because it isn't a date.
00:37Oh, yeah, sorry. This is a non-date.
00:39Right.
00:42I'm happy you messaged me, you know?
00:45Well, that's good.
00:47I have to admit, we're here at this rink because I'm in desperate need of fun and a palate cleanser.
00:54A palate cleanser?
00:55Yeah.
00:55Do people still say that?
00:57Oh, no, am I old-fashioned?
00:59Oh, no, yeah.
01:00Just great.
01:06You skate with a helmet?
01:08Yeah. Safety before beauty.
01:13Wow, all righty then.
01:14I forgot to mention I can't do this without holding on to someone for dear life.
01:25Oh?
01:26So you suggest we go skating so you can get touchy-feely?
01:30That's a little plan.
01:31I can't let go of your arm.
01:33I can't let go of your arm.
01:35It's kind of nice.
01:38Are you okay?
01:40I borrowed these skates from my son's stepdad.
01:43Oh.
01:44I think he lied about the size.
01:47Ow.
01:49Your ex's new man exaggerates his size?
01:52At least with skates.
01:53Yeah.
01:53It's nice that you have a relationship like that, where you can borrow stuff from each other, and it sounds like nothing but good vibes there.
02:03Whatever's in Jesper's best interest, right?
02:05Yeah.
02:06I think we should throw in the towel.
02:15You know what?
02:16As a nurse, I'm putting my foot down about those tiny baby manscapes.
02:20How about we have some hot cocoa instead?
02:22Yeah.
02:22I like that plan.
02:23Yeah.
02:23Yeah.
02:26You know, I bet that's a new record.
02:28We were on the ice for about 30 seconds total.
02:31I'm sorry.
02:33And I hate to break it to you, but don't wear the helmet.
02:36Why not?
02:37Well, it looks dorky.
02:38A concussion would be a sexier look than the helmet.
02:43So your son's name is Jesper, you said?
02:47Yeah.
02:48Yeah.
02:49Does he have any brothers or sisters?
02:51Jawbert, Drax, and Joshly?
02:55Dumb joke.
02:57No.
02:57Jesper's a lone wolf.
02:59Gotcha.
02:59At least for now.
03:00I don't know whether my ex has plans to grow the flock.
03:06And how about for you?
03:07You see more kits in your plan?
03:09Wow.
03:09We're blowing right past the small talk.
03:11We're diving right into it.
03:14Well, honestly, I'm very happy with just the one.
03:17Is that a deal breaker?
03:21Definitely not.
03:32You have a little...
03:34On my lip?
03:36Can I remove it?
03:37Yeah, is it?
03:39Yeah, it's a...
03:42You have a mustache.
03:48Oh.
03:49Now it's gone.
04:14Skull.
04:15Skull.
04:16Skull.
04:19It's like that moment just before you kiss, right?
04:25You know what's about to happen, so it's like...
04:31But you didn't kiss?
04:33We didn't.
04:34Huh.
04:35Yeah.
04:35But since he's a single parent, I could understand why he'd want to take it a bit slower.
04:39Right.
04:39And I think it's important for me to go old-fashioned and take things slowly.
04:43Yeah.
04:43That sounds like a smart way to do it.
04:45Is this good?
04:46Thank you so much.
04:47Merry Christmas.
04:48Merry Christmas.
04:50And he's invited me out to dinner.
04:51Whoa.
04:52And it's at a super fancy restaurant.
04:54I think you should go.
04:55You do?
04:56Yeah.
04:56Plus, you could use a little...
04:58Wow!
04:58Wow!
05:00A little...
05:01A little palate cleanser?
05:03Yeah, exactly. That's a good way to put it.
05:04Hi.
05:05Hello.
05:07How about you, Morton?
05:08Yeah?
05:08Like, is your life still hunky-dory, ripped straight from a fairy tale?
05:12Yeah?
05:13Yeah?
05:14Ugh.
05:14Oh, well.
05:15Think you're having any more children?
05:18Uh, nah. The twins aren't plenty.
05:20Thank you so much. Have a Merry Christmas.
05:22You too.
05:22And you as well.
05:24You're 100% sure?
05:25Yes. No more kids, I'm sure.
05:27Right.
05:28Are you going to pups?
05:29Yeah.
05:29Right.
05:30I'm picking up the decorations we made when we were little.
05:33Remember, I'm decorating at my place.
05:35Okay, bye. Say I had a pop.
05:37Yeah? Oh, you're leaving?
05:39Morton?
05:40What's happening?
05:41Ah! Oh, shoot. Hi.
05:43Why won't Maria answer her phone?
05:45Uh.
05:45She's not at rehearsals. Won't answer the phone. Neither does her husband.
05:49Really? Okay.
05:50So what do you think we should do about the costumes, then?
05:53You're asking what I think?
05:55Yeah. Someone in your family needs to handle them.
05:59Uh.
06:00Well, I don't know. We can put the kids in hats so they look like gnomes.
06:03Then we could maybe paint their cheeks red?
06:06I don't get the problem here.
06:07The Christmas show is meant to make sure the parents have an opportunity to be more involved in their children's lives.
06:14Many children have parents who don't get along and fight.
06:17Or children who, God forbid, have lost their mom or dad.
06:21For example, to cancer.
06:23Not to mention it's important to have a space where people feel welcome and can come together.
06:28Especially during the holiday season, when people feel incredibly lonely.
06:32That's why it's important to me that things are done properly, including the costumes the children will be wearing.
06:39That's the problem.
06:42Yeah, okay. I'll try to get a hold of Maria.
06:45Yeah, okay.
06:46Hey, Maria. I just bumped into your favorite person, Marianne, who chewed me out because you're not answering her calls.
06:59So, call her, please.
07:01I know you're not answering me either, but, um, for real, what's up with grown adults scolding other grown adults like children?
07:07And, uh, yeah. Anyway, please just, uh, call me back.
07:16You trying to kill the Christmas spirit in here?
07:20Oh, hi.
07:21So, you're here?
07:23We're doing some soldering.
07:25Okay, here's my father.
07:27Hey, pops.
07:28Hi, uh, passing through.
07:30Did you find the boxes with the old Christmas decorations and stuff?
07:34Huh?
07:36Oh, my God, I can't hear anything.
07:41I was wondering if you had found those boxes with the, uh, the old Christmas...
07:45Oh, yeah, that. Uh, I found some boxes. I put them in the kitchen.
07:50Okay.
07:51Uh, if you want, I can take over the soldering.
07:53Yeah.
07:54And you can thank your son for getting all of your Christmas shopping done.
07:58Oh, that's great.
08:04Hmm.
08:05You should try to keep your kitchen a little more presentable.
08:08I, uh, try to tidy up at least once a week.
08:11Well, it's looking like you should maybe do double that.
08:16Remember this?
08:17Yeah.
08:17These were grandmas, right?
08:19Yeah, good old grandma.
08:20Look at this.
08:21That one's absolutely hideous.
08:23But where is the, uh, here?
08:34I'm glad you didn't toss this one.
08:37Yeah.
08:38Remember when we put these together with you and mom in this kitchen?
08:42Hmm.
08:44And this one.
08:45Err.
08:45I've been thinking, Yana.
08:54Mm-hmm.
08:55Um, so I was talking to Oistein.
08:58He has no one to celebrate with.
09:00Huh?
09:00So I invited him to come here.
09:03Huh? You...
09:04I thought it was a nice thing to do.
09:06Sure, but wait a minute.
09:07What are you saying?
09:08Well, I thought I'd come to your place earlier in the day and then spend Christmas Eve back here with Oistein.
09:14What's wrong with bringing him over to my place?
09:16Bring Oistein over there.
09:18Why not?
09:19If that's what we have to do, so be it.
09:21But you don't have any trains.
09:24I don't have any trains, you said?
09:25Yeah.
09:26Are you serious?
09:27Let me get this straight.
09:28You'd rather spend Christmas driving trains with your buddy than spend it with me?
09:32With your kids?
09:33Well, I thought you'd be more understanding about this.
09:36Oistein out there doesn't have anyone.
09:38I'm sorry, but what the hell's going on?
09:41You had Morton shop for all your Christmas presents.
09:44You don't put up the Christmas lights.
09:45You don't even decorate.
09:46You don't listen to Christmas music.
09:48And meanwhile, I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off to create some Christmas spirit here.
09:53And what are you doing?
09:54You're prioritizing some randle with model trains over your own daughter.
09:58Oh, my God.
10:28hello
10:38want to tell me what's going on when i checked the extent of the damage from the leak i found a
10:44bunch of rot water damage yeah so why is everything all we have to remove a lot more flooring than
10:51we thought and we have to make sure what's left is completely dry before rebuilding but uh will
10:56you be finished in here by christmas eve i'd have to be at it 24 7 to make it work i'm begging you
11:01make it work stop that december 24th hey i'm giving it my best shot and is this machine really
11:06necessary it's drying out the kitchen okay
11:26how did it go with mr hot dad we went ice skating you went yeah we went all old school
11:51ew why what do you mean and was that all you did yeah and he's picking me up later today we're
12:00gonna go to a restaurant a restaurant oh my god you millennials and getting laid you really work for
12:06it who said anything about getting laid what that's the point i'm just saying you really gotta go for
12:13oh before i forget you get willy's test results back yep they believe he has a lung infection
12:20sarcoidosis yeah and the doctor also wants to do an mri of his heart yeah
12:26that's what he was afraid of more testing think we can nudge him into it yeah well eric's already
12:33down there with him now okay yeah
12:36so i was thinking we should have a funeral for the gold monk
12:42tonight no i i mean it'll be so fun uh what's a gold monk and how exactly did he die
12:48uh well it's when you don't know that'll do
12:52so long good monk so long oh god right you'd almost think you were bffs
13:00not that you're upper management i'm teaching her some norwegian words and she's teaching me
13:05some swedish ones so if i were to crack open a swedish dictionary and look up gold monk it would
13:09say it's someone who hasn't had sex in a year
13:13wow that's actually a seriously long time
13:23i was waiting to bring this up but you showed up at singles night the other night
13:32so what if i did just what's up with that johanna we've got a problem willy he won't do the mri
13:38no no okay uh if someone asks i'll be in radiology all right gold monk
13:45i'm not doing it that's a heck of a lot of tests we've put you through
14:03quite an understatement but sure did the doctor tell you the reason you need the mri
14:08i've just been shipped around like a package without a word of explanation
14:12yeah that's tough um you have something called sarcoidosis which is a sort of mysterious
14:20inflammatory condition that attacks healthy tissue so we need to look at your pericardium
14:27to see if maybe it's spread since you've been having chest pains
14:31and if it's spread elsewhere it's a treatable condition but if the inflammation's left untreated
14:39it can have very serious consequences okay and you have to put me in there to figure that out
14:45yep
14:46i don't want to go in there
14:51would it help if maybe i stayed in the room with you
14:56don't you have better things to do with your time
15:00nah i sort of have a date but uh that can wait i'll stay here
15:05are you into the whole dating thing
15:12oh sure i try to pencil in several women a day
15:16do you now
15:16if you can find me a date in that machine there i'll think about it
15:21yeah
15:21you could listen to some music to get you in the mood if you know what i mean
15:26i can listen to music in there
15:29mm-hmm no one told you that no what would you like to listen to
15:34only one of the best albums ever recorded
15:40sure
15:41ballads john coltrane 1963
15:45okay
15:48now let's see
15:49there
15:53you heard his choice of music right yeah
15:56good
15:59louder
16:01a little louder
16:02yeah and uh
16:05uh i'll hold your hand when i can sound good
16:08okay
16:09but you'll be staying
16:11yep
16:26yohana
16:35yeah
16:36thank you for what you did for willie
16:38it was my pleasure
16:40uh yes
16:42i actually have to finish a report
16:46it's so hard to pretend i'm not head over heels in love with you
16:50eric
16:50i mean it
16:52well
16:53that's sweet of you
16:54i'm serious
16:55i can't
16:56you're so lovely
16:57thank you very much
16:59well i must say
17:07i know what that looked like
17:08i assure you nothing's going on
17:10you may be terrified of becoming a gold monk
17:12but uh this office is not your little personal fuck cave
17:16my fuck cave what
17:18i also heard you're doing secret santa this year
17:21rookie mistake
17:22yeah just a little gift exchange
17:25don't people like that
17:26sure because right before christmas everyone wants even more things that they have to do
17:30besides in today's world people get offended by the tiniest things
17:33have you even thought about that
17:35what happens if someone in your ward gets a present they happen to find offensive
17:39but look right there someone got you a gift
17:42it didn't make your day
17:43this one is personal and therefore a completely voluntary gesture
17:47that report
17:48yeah i'm working on it right now
17:51yeah
17:51right
17:53oh yuck
17:57hi
18:08sorry to keep you waiting
18:15i'm sorry my day has been an absolute train wreck
18:18completely imploded
18:19no problem
18:21over dinner you can tell me all about it
18:24sounds good
18:25nice outfit
18:28i'm not really supposed to wear it outside but i felt bad keeping you waiting
18:31can we swing by my place on our way to the restaurant
18:35it's in the city on the way
18:37i like that uniform all right
18:38all right mister that's an inside thought
18:40copy that
18:42let's go
18:45okay i'll be super quick
18:56yay by the way uh the other night you were randomly here working and i brought someone home
19:20and it got real really awkward you know so if you could just give me a heads up if you're gonna be working later bringing chainsaws bulldozers and into my kitchen just so i know what's going on
19:31heads up
19:32yes
19:34take a moment to text me or write me a fucking note or something whatever i live here you know
19:39okay
19:43okay
19:43okay
19:47um yeah
19:48maria
19:58hi
19:59hi
20:00what's going on
20:04can i sleep here tonight
20:07i just need some peace and quiet you know
20:11you'll definitely get that here
20:14but uh yeah of course
20:17awesome
20:18okay
20:19wanna talk about it
20:20actually
20:22i really would
20:24then let's do it
20:27uh let me take care of something first
20:31but i'll be back
20:31don't go anywhere
20:32got it
20:33i'm sorry
20:42this day just keeps getting crazier and crazier
20:45my sister just showed up inside and there's a family crisis and
20:48uh i have to call off her date
20:51anything i can do to help out
20:53maybe you could give me a rain check
20:56you got it
20:58okay perfect
20:59i'll call you then
21:01oh uh i forgot to mention
21:04remind me to tell you who i ran into at the christmas market
21:07i'll give you a hint
21:08okay
21:11i'll remember that
21:12good
21:12okay
21:13but hey
21:14take care
21:16i will
21:16you too
21:17would you like some wine
21:27please
21:29that'd be great
21:29okay
21:30there
21:32thank you
21:37you're welcome
21:38it doesn't seem
21:43very ready in here
21:45no it's
21:47not finished yet
21:49want me to ask beau to leave
21:52beau
21:53beau
21:54the weirdo in the plastic fortress
21:56oh don't worry
21:58it's fine
21:59i gather there's quite a bit going on
22:04i don't even know where to begin
22:08it's not just work that's really putting me through the ringer right now
22:14i never get a break from the kids screaming and whining all the fucking time
22:19and as if having three kids wasn't enough
22:22it's like um
22:27ayaz has become a fourth little boy
22:29he never has the slightest idea of what's going on
22:33he he doesn't notice anything
22:35it's almost like he's um
22:36regressing backwards
22:39or shrinking away
22:41and it
22:43it hurts
22:45to feel so alone
22:48but hey
22:49but it's obvious
22:52he loves you a ton
22:54i can see that
22:55and
22:56he picks up and helps out right
23:00did you hear a word of what i just told you
23:03i listened to you
23:05if you're just gonna defend him
23:07why did i say anything
23:08huh
23:09that wasn't me defending him
23:11just giving you a different perspective
23:13one that's all about me being tightly wound
23:15and him being such a great guy
23:17yeah no that's not what i said at all
23:19okay
23:20well sometimes you do tend to
23:23insist on having things a particular way
23:26or i'm guessing it's a control thing maybe
23:29i have no idea
23:30control
23:31it's not about control
23:33but being a responsible adult
23:34i'm sick of feeling obligated to carry around
23:38some sort of guilty conscience
23:39because i'm the only one holding my home together
23:42taking care of my job
23:43my family
23:44my marriage
23:44yeah maria
23:45i'm sorry
23:45i didn't mean to
23:46it came out weird
23:47it's called being an adult
23:49it's something you would know nothing about
23:50since you avoid ever having to act like one
23:52okay what do you mean by that
23:55like for example insisting on having christmas eve at your place
23:58you say it's to take the burden off our shoulders
24:00but meanwhile your kitchen isn't even functional
24:02so the rest of us have to step up and take responsibility
24:05which now doubles our stress
24:07but we have to let it go
24:08because johanna meant well you know
24:09even though honestly you're kind of acting like a little brat
24:12i think you're being damn harsh maria
24:14as if you're the only one with responsibilities to handle
24:17i have a lot on my plate
24:19who's keeping our family from falling apart
24:22huh that falls on me
24:23who takes care of pop
24:25oh wait that'd be me
24:26because you guys are all too busy to handle it
24:29except nobody asked you to do that
24:30you're the one who chose to take on that role
24:32so you'll feel important to this family
24:34because you don't have one of your own
24:35god damn
24:42shit
24:54shit
24:56shit
24:59shit
25:01shoo
25:06shit
25:06Hi, would it be a bit too soon to cash in that rain check?
25:19That's fine.
25:22Just send me the address.
25:24Okay, thank you.
25:36Hi.
26:03Come on in.
26:05Thanks.
26:06Hungry?
26:13More thirsty, actually.
26:15I poured a glass for you there.
26:17Oh, wow. Thanks.
26:19Stealing your work clothes, huh?
26:21This really is a never-ending day.
26:23Yeah. It really won't end.
26:30Oh, jeez.
26:33It's really nice in here.
26:34I'm glad you think so.
26:37I try to keep it tidy, but it gets pretty messy in here.
26:42You're kidding. You think this is messy?
26:44Then you should see my place. It's a pigsty.
26:47Meanwhile, this is all zen heaven.
26:50If you're hungry, food will be ready soon.
26:54I'm good with my wine. Lost my appetite, honestly.
26:57Okay.
26:58So what happened?
27:02No, we can just, uh, let it lie.
27:08Wine soup and a handsome man will make it all right.
27:13Mmm.
27:13Cheers.
27:16Mmm.
27:16I have to tell you about the thing I forgot to say earlier.
27:20Guess who I ran into at the Christmas market yesterday? Just sneak attacked me.
27:25I have no idea.
27:28That bitch, Marianne.
27:30Oh?
27:31Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's not a nice thing to call her.
27:33Now, listen, I'm just saying.
27:35I think it's a rather appropriate name for her, because she acts like one.
27:38She was standing there chewing me out because my sister won't answer the phone as if that's somehow my fault, right?
27:45Proceeds to lay a massive guilt trip on me for not thinking the Christmas show's the most important thing ever.
27:50That sounds like Marianne.
27:52Yeah.
27:52And then I went to work, and my boss spent the day hovering over my shoulder, only to come home and get chewed out by Maria.
27:59Yeah.
28:00Yeah.
28:01Yeah.
28:01You don't deserve that.
28:02I'm sorry. I shouldn't be venting.
28:05Adults scolding each other? What's up with that?
28:08Yeah.
28:08Yeah, that's exactly what I said.
28:17We're having one of those, uh, little moments again.
28:23Like at the skating rink?
28:25Yeah.
28:27It wasn't just me who...
28:28No.
28:28Hey, it's okay to wait. We don't have to...
28:44Or we can take it slow and still do this, too.
28:48Great idea.
28:48Yeah.
29:11Yeah.
29:13I'm just picking up some school stuff for just her.
29:38Okay.
29:39Okay, what's going on here?
29:43Oh, it just got so hot in the air that I had to...
29:46Yeah.
29:47You've literally never cooked in your boxers before.
29:50Well, first time for everything.
29:54Okay.
29:55Yeah.
30:02Can I go in?
30:08Well, look at this.
30:09Oh.
30:13Cosplay, sex, Adrian.
30:16I had no idea.
30:17No, I'm a nurse.
30:18This isn't cosplay.
30:20Wait, really?
30:21Really.
30:22Weren't you just picking something up?
30:25How long has this been going on?
30:28Why wasn't I updated?
30:29I mean, it's only our first or second date.
30:33Why didn't you mention she was your ex?
30:35Well, I thought you knew.
30:36I mean, you've met each other.
30:38Adrian?
30:39Yeah?
30:40I would very much appreciate it if you could give me ample warning before she meets Jesper,
30:44since she knows nothing about his allergies and sleep habits,
30:47or that he's being assessed for ADHD.
30:49So I think it's a good idea to not introduce him to all of your new...
30:56This is only our first date, like he said.
31:00And it would be nice if you'd add it to the shared calendar,
31:03so I'll know when you have visitors.
31:05Mm-hmm.
31:06I'll do that.
31:07Does she have the door code?
31:09No, of course not.
31:10Hi, I'm right here, guys.
31:12I think I should just go ahead and book another session with the family therapist
31:15so we can set some clear boundaries right from the get-go.
31:18Okay.
31:19Yeah.
31:21Hmm?
31:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:24So when would it be good for you, Johanna?
31:30Johanna?
31:31Adrian.
31:41Hello?
31:53Hello?
32:05Maria?
32:11Bo?
32:12Bo?
32:13Bo?
32:14Bo?
32:15Bo?
32:16Bo?
32:17Bo?
32:18Bo?
32:19Bo?
32:20Bo?
32:21Bo?
32:22Bo?
32:23Bo?
32:24Bo?
32:25Bo?
32:26Bo?
32:27Bo?
32:28Bo?
32:29Bo?
32:30Bo?
32:31Bo?
32:32Bo?
32:33Bo?
32:34Bo?
32:35Bo?
32:36Bo?
32:37Bo?
32:38Bo?
32:39Bo?
32:40Bo?
32:41I say, yeah, did you know that these stars take a million light years to reach?
32:57And it's funny how time changes everything now.
33:01We're dancing in Lisbon on New Year's Eve.
33:06But tomorrow you'll wake up beside me.
33:17And we'll go search for footprints of dinosaurs by the coast.
33:27And we'll laugh about how we came once without talking, not even that long ago.
33:36And I'll wake up beside you each morning now.
33:43I know which way your bed here is falling out.
33:48I never thought I would be calling you mine.
33:57We'll sit in the car watching surfers fall off their board.
34:03And we'll talk about some things and nothings for maybe just one hour more.
34:15And we'll laugh about what we said one more bottle of wine.
34:20And we'll laugh about what we said one more bottle of wine.
34:24Cause now I wouldn't mind getting married tonight.
34:29So I'd ask you again.
34:31Let's go again.
34:32Let's go again.
34:33Let's go.
35:01Let's go.
35:04Let's go.
35:05Let's go.
35:06Let's go.
35:07Let's go.
35:08Oh.
35:09Haha.
35:13You
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