Abby Rao clears the air on her break up with Ricegum, their relationship, who she really is, and her reaction to fans negative comments. #AbbyRao #Ricegum
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00:00Okay, guys, we are here today at Hollywood Life with a really special guest.
00:05Her name is Abby Rayo.
00:07You might know her from the YouTube scene.
00:11She dated Ricegum.
00:14They are no longer together as of recently.
00:18And so she's a friend.
00:20We'll start off briefly, and we don't have to go into super intricate details,
00:24but what's been going on the past few days?
00:28I mean, I think that this happened.
00:30Like, we kind of decided, I think it was about, like, two weeks ago.
00:35That's kind of when the breakup happened, and I went home for a while to be with my family.
00:44I was just really destroyed.
00:46I think, you know, with us two, the love was just so strong, and it still is.
00:53I mean, I still love him, but I think that we just wanted different things,
00:59and I think that we cared about different things.
01:03And, you know, this lifestyle is, like, so new to me.
01:10And I think, you know, for him, it's kind of like he's very used to this,
01:14and this is kind of just, like, his life, you know what I mean?
01:16And I think I, you know, came from a very, like, low-key, normal life,
01:22and I kind of just wanted that with him.
01:24And I wanted to focus on, you know, the things that I cared about, you know,
01:28like life things, and he kind of wanted to care about more his career things.
01:33And so I think it just caused us to clash.
01:40So you guys broke up, and once the internet caught wind of it,
01:48you kind of got some mean comments and people saying mean things.
01:52I fully knew that was going to happen.
01:55I mean, you know, when we started dating, it was like everybody was like,
01:59oh, you're a clout chaser, you're a digger, you're this, you're that.
02:03I mean, like, I get crazy, evil, evil messages.
02:07And, like, you know, that kind of, after the rush of us being together,
02:10it kind of died down.
02:12And, I mean, I do get a lot of love, and I'm very, very appreciative of,
02:16you know, the people that do send love.
02:18But I think, you know, when it came out, which was literally, like, yesterday,
02:22which is also his birthday, so that was kind of, you know, not that great.
02:27Yeah.
02:28And, you know, I was just getting an influx of just, like, hate.
02:33And, like, oh, I knew this was going to happen.
02:35You dip as soon as you get the clout.
02:37Like, it's just, it's really just heartless.
02:42It's crazy.
02:43Well, and it's so wild to me, too, because you're human.
02:47Like, it's like you were saying before, that you're from this low-key lifestyle.
02:51While you have a following and you have this great career now that you have built
02:57for yourself over the last year, you're still a normal person and you still have feelings
03:02and you're still going through a hard time right now, why do these people feel like they
03:09should just add to it with their opinions?
03:12I think it's so gross.
03:13I really have no clue.
03:14Like, I had no idea that, number one, I was even going to be on the Internet.
03:20Right.
03:20I'm from Louisiana, and I never even planned to leave Louisiana.
03:25So, you know, a year ago I had this, like, opportunity and things, you know, one thing
03:30led to another.
03:31And I met my friend Katie, and she's from Florida.
03:33And we kind of just, you know, she was like, hey, I'm leaving L.A.
03:36Do you want to come?
03:38And I was just like, okay.
03:40And so I left my job.
03:41I left, like, you know, everything I built for myself, and I kind of just, you know, went
03:45with it.
03:46It just kind of led me there.
03:47And, you know, to see the growth in a year, I'm very grateful, but at the same time, I
03:54don't feel any different inside.
03:56If anything, it's hurt me more because I felt more far from myself, you know, because you're
04:03around these people that, like, you know, everybody's in the media, and everybody's
04:07this person, and you're this person.
04:09And it's just, like, it's hard to not get wrapped up in it.
04:12Yeah.
04:12And start defining yourself through it.
04:14And I think I did for a moment, and I had to, like, check myself and be like, wait a
04:18minute.
04:19Like, you're just Abby.
04:20Yeah.
04:21You're a girl from Louisiana.
04:22You worked at Texas Roadhouse.
04:24You paid your way through school.
04:26Like, I drove around in a car with no AC.
04:28Like, you know, I've been there.
04:29Like, I'm just like, you know, all the people that are talking, that are bullying me.
04:35Right.
04:35Like, I'm just like you.
04:36Right.
04:37You know what I mean?
04:37If you had the chance, would you not take it too, you know?
04:41Right.
04:41That's what I don't understand, what people don't get.
04:43It's like, I get, you know, I guess it's just, you know, people want this lifestyle,
04:49or they want to have a chance to be, you know, on the internet.
04:53But it's, you know, it's not the greatest thing in the world.
04:57Yeah.
04:57But then again, I am grateful.
04:58I don't want to say I'm grateful.
04:59Of course.
05:00Of course.
05:00It's just the kind of external bullying and hatred that you get.
05:09I mean, similarly, I feel the exact same way.
05:14And I think it has to do a lot with, you know, how you're raised too,
05:18and like the community you grow up in.
05:19I mean, I'll call my parents and I'll be like, I interviewed Bradley Cooper today.
05:24And my mom's like, that's great.
05:25Wait, so did you get your groceries?
05:27And did you make your bed this morning?
05:29And you know what I mean?
05:30Like brings you right back down.
05:31Like you're still a person with duties and things in life that you have to do opposite.
05:36This is your job.
05:37It's not every little facet of you and who you are.
05:44And yeah, when I, I mean, I was talking to you two weeks ago, I guess, when I was in L.A.
05:50Or was it last weekend?
05:51When was I there for the fight two weekends ago?
05:53Yeah.
05:53And I got caught up in it too.
05:56I just even being, I was like, you measure your self-worth over who you're surrounded by.
06:05And very, you know, oh, how many followers do you have?
06:08You're this, you're this level.
06:10You're, you're socially accepted here.
06:12You're, you know, it's, it's very uncomfortable.
06:14And I think I, you know, I just, I couldn't mesh with that.
06:20And I think, you know, that's where, you know, to touch on him again, I think that's where
06:24him and I is like, he's so used to that world.
06:26Yeah.
06:26And so used to kind of just, he's a very neutral person.
06:29So, you know, he kind of just sits back and just, and I'm not, I can't like, you know,
06:34I can't like be fake.
06:37I can't be, you know, fit in and act like, you know, I speak up like that's the type of
06:41person I am.
06:42Yeah.
06:42And he's not.
06:43So it's like, we always clash, you know?
06:46And so I think for me, it was just important for us to just take a, you know, and I think
06:54people also think I broke up with him, but that's not true.
06:57So, you know, he broke up with me and then, you know, wanted to change his mind.
07:06And I think that I just couldn't do it again because this actually happened like six months
07:11ago, but like no one knew about it.
07:13And, um, so I think that, you know, this time I just really wanted to take time for
07:18myself and just focus on me and, you know, find myself again.
07:24Yeah.
07:25I think with guys, it's so different in this industry.
07:29Girls are sensitive.
07:31Girls are mean to each other.
07:34And guys.
07:35I have no friends.
07:37Yes, you do.
07:37I have, I have friends, but I only have like very few close, close, close friends, like
07:43three close friends.
07:44Yeah.
07:45In the industry.
07:45And there's nothing wrong with that.
07:47You know, you have to kind of pick your, pick your people.
07:50Um, but girls go after each other and it's one of those like hierarchies and it's competitive
07:57and it's dog eat dog.
07:58Whereas guys, you know, they sit back and like play their games in the area.
08:02Yeah.
08:02You just bro out.
08:03Whereas they don't, and no one's, no one bullies them really.
08:07I mean, I guess unless you're Logan Paul.
08:09Yeah.
08:09People always go after him.
08:11Yeah.
08:11Poor guy.
08:12But everyone else.
08:13And he's so sweet.
08:14He's a really nice person.
08:16Yeah.
08:16But.
08:17It's interesting.
08:18But I feel like also too, you know, that's why I stay kind of, that's why I was so secluded
08:23is like, because, you know, I saw the way things were and I just like kind of went
08:27into my shell and I was like, Ooh, that's weird.
08:30Right.
08:31Exactly.
08:31Like you'd rather protect yourself and, and pull yourself out of it than, you know,
08:36be vulnerable and, and be a part of it.
08:39But so now, cause we were talking about this before you are Abby where, you know, what are
08:47you kind of, what are the next steps that you're going to take for you and to even just
08:53be in this world?
08:55You.
08:55Um, you know, I think I'm trying to figure that out.
08:58I think a lot of why I haven't done more is because I kind of felt like it wasn't my
09:05lane almost.
09:06Yeah.
09:06Like I felt like, Oh, I'm new to this and, you know, Oh, I'm, I'm, I have this platform
09:12because of another person.
09:13And I kind of felt like, you know, I was made to feel a little like, um, I guess not as
09:21important or kind of like, this wasn't my thing.
09:23You know what I mean?
09:24I guess.
09:24And maybe it was just internal.
09:26Maybe it was just me kind of being like respectful and kind of just.
09:29It could have been those bullies though too.
09:30And what they said to you and put in your head that you were.
09:33I was kind of just only, you know, Ricegum's girlfriend.
09:36And I, and I was happy with that, to be honest.
09:39I was proud of that.
09:40I, I, I still am.
09:41I'm, you know, I'll never be ashamed of that.
09:44Um, but I think, you know, I also, it made me lose kind of like, okay, well, who's Abby
09:49and where do I stand in this space?
09:51You know what I mean?
09:52And I think, you know, the main thing I want to do is, you know, I want to be myself more
09:58and I want to, um, you know, talk to young people and just like in some ways show them
10:06that, you know, I don't want to be just another person on the internet that someone's comparing
10:10themselves to, you know, and I think I started to feel like a, a product of what's wrong
10:18with the internet and what's wrong with the world.
10:21And I started kind of looking at myself and I'm like, that's not really me.
10:25It's like 5%, you know what I mean?
10:28Yeah.
10:28And I have so much more to say and I have so much more inside.
10:31And I think, you know, I'm trying to figure out how to go about that.
10:36You know what I mean?
10:36Like how to get that out and kind of which direction I want to go in and kind of looking
10:40at the bigger picture now.
10:41Yeah.
10:42Because no matter where you got the platform from, you have a platform.
10:47Yeah.
10:47And so now you can take those steps to really decide what you want to do with it and how
10:52you want to change the world with it.
10:56And it doesn't mean that you can, you have to stop doing what you're doing.
10:59You can just add more.
11:00Right.
11:01To it.
11:02And I think that it'll be really good for you.
11:04I'm considering, I think I might start a YouTube.
11:06I feel like I should have.
11:08Like my own YouTube because, you know, we did a joint channel and then I did a lot
11:13of stuff on his channel and, you know, I learned so much.
11:17I learned so much.
11:17He's taught me so much and, you know, inspired me a lot.
11:22And I'm very grateful for that.
11:25I definitely wouldn't be able to, you know, I never, and I think another reason I didn't
11:30start YouTube is because before him, I never even considered YouTube.
11:33Like I never was like, hey, when I grow up, I want to do YouTube.
11:36So I guess, I guess that's kind of why I, I waited.
11:38Cause I was kind of like, well, you know, that's not really my thing, but really in
11:42reality, like it's anyone's thing.
11:44Like why wouldn't I at this point, you know what I mean?
11:47And people want to hear from you and that's a great outlet to do it.
11:50I mean, I was the same.
11:51I didn't, I think that YouTube like kind of skipped a generation, um, because I never
11:57really watched it.
11:58I never was really invested in it until I started working in it.
12:02And then I was like, I love this.
12:03Where's this been?
12:04Yeah.
12:04Like now I know so much about the YouTube community, but like when, you know, I met him, I, I literally
12:10had no idea.
12:11Like we met totally at a random.
12:12I didn't know who he was.
12:14I didn't know the only person I had heard of, I had heard of Logan.
12:18Yeah.
12:18And I knew who Logan was and I, um, I had watched Jeffree Star videos cause I used to
12:24do makeup.
12:24So like I would, I knew who he was, but I kind of used YouTube as more of a form of
12:28like Google.
12:29Yeah.
12:29Like I would like look up like, Oh, how do you do this?
12:32Or like, where's this?
12:33You know, I, there's this whole like community and like YouTube, YouTuber world.
12:38And it's so, um, the fan base is so diehard and so loving, you know?
12:43Yeah.
12:44At times.
12:45At times.
12:45At times.
12:46I like to focus on the positive.
12:47Yeah, exactly.
12:48They can be very loving.
12:49Yes, exactly.
12:50And you do have a lot of people out there who love and support you.
12:54So even when you have the trolls, they're, you know, the one in a million.
13:00Yeah.
13:00Yeah.
13:01And I think, you know, I try to focus on that and I, it still blows my mind.
13:04Like, um, that people even care about what I have to say or like care about looking.
13:10It's so interesting to me.
13:11Like I, I'm so grateful.
13:13And anytime I meet someone that, you know, comes up to me and they're like,
13:16Abby, I'm just like, I'm just as excited as they are.
13:18I'm like, oh my God.
13:19Hey, like, I love you so much.
13:21Yeah.
13:22Like I have to hug them because I'm just so grateful that they even like are excited.
13:27But I think, you know, a lot of people don't think about that.
13:30You know, they kind of just think about, oh, you know, I want to be popping.
13:34I want to be like on top.
13:35I want to be, you know, I want to do whatever I can to get there.
13:39Yeah.
13:39You know, and, and that's what's scary about, you know, the scene and kind of just LA and
13:44like everything.
13:45And it's like, you know, a lot of people will step on you to get where they need to go.
13:50And, you know, what, the way I grew up and the people I grew up around, you know, it's
13:54very opposite.
13:56It's very, you know, at a really good home base.
14:01Good.
14:02And so being away from that has also been really hard because I'm so, I'm so young,
14:07like I'm only 22.
14:08Yeah.
14:09You know, it's kind of an interesting, you know, in my head, I don't think I'm like anything,
14:14you know, like in my head, I'm like, oh, okay.
14:16Like I have followers.
14:17Who cares?
14:18What does that mean?
14:19Right.
14:19I'm not, I'm not, you know, Ariana Grande.
14:22Right.
14:22Let's calm down.
14:23You know, so I guess that's like when, you know, I'm getting so much hate, you know, it's
14:28just, it blows my mind.
14:29And I think it's, it's really, really, you know, no one teaches you how to deal with
14:32something like that.
14:34Until you're right in it and you're like, I don't, you're, feel so out of control.
14:39Helpless and just kind of like, you know, I never have been able to like, it's weird
14:43because I just feel like I can't defend myself.
14:45Yeah.
14:45And I feel like, you know, all of these people, like I went from, you know, knowing exactly
14:49who I was and being around people who know exactly who I am to like being on the internet
14:54and just be like, I'm just a person behind a picture and people just say and think what
14:59they want to think.
14:59And it's just, it's so, it's, it's very just hard on the mental.
15:04So I can't imagine people that, you know, are even at a higher level and have to deal
15:08with that.
15:09I really don't.
15:10You have like so much respect.
15:11I mean, the fact that Chrissy Teigen just starts retweeting the hate that she gets.
15:15I want to get to that level.
15:16She's a legend.
15:17I want to get there.
15:18I don't think she lets anything bother her.
15:20No.
15:20Like, honestly, you can, if you're like that beautiful and perfect and married, she's
15:25a legend.
15:26But, and it's easy, you know, I definitely, you know, I had to check myself yesterday and
15:30be like, you know, none of this really matters.
15:32Like it's just people on the internet being hateful behind a screen, you know, no profile
15:37picture.
15:38So yeah, it still is hard.
15:39If you have a heart inside, it's going to hurt you a little bit.
15:44You know what I mean?
15:44And especially when you're already, you know, heartbroken, because I'm already, you know,
15:49having a hard time keeping it together in general right now.
15:52So, you know, I just wish people could be a little kinder.
15:57Me too.
15:58Well, hopefully this will help them and put things in perspective, because I think that
16:02talking about it's really important because they might not know the effect that they're
16:06having.
16:06They might, they definitely don't because they're not in your shoes and they don't understand
16:11how it, you know, they think, oh, well, but she has all these followers and she's,
16:14you know, beautiful and this and that.
16:16So she's, she's fine.
16:18It doesn't matter what I say to her, but it does.
16:20Yeah.
16:21In reality, like none of that matters.
16:24Like none of, like the followers, none of that, none of it, none of it has made me happy.
16:29That's for sure.
16:30Yeah.
16:31You know, if anything, I miss like, you know, the things that really used to make me happy.
16:36I think, you know, now my life is kind of surrounded by that and that's why I've been sad.
16:42Yeah.
16:43Yeah.
16:43So I think I need to figure out, like you said, kind of how to make it more me and how
16:47to make myself feel, you know, like I have worth again, like I'm doing something good
16:54in the world.
16:55And I think, you know, I think the one thing I want people to know, I think maybe the one
16:59thing that bothers me the most is, you know, just people saying that, you know, our relationship
17:05wasn't real or, um, sorry, I'm just getting sad.
17:12No, you're fine.
17:13I don't know why I'm emotional right now.
17:22Sorry.
17:23Don't apologize.
17:24It's completely valid.
17:27Your feelings are valid.
17:32It's just like hard because like, there's so much love there.
17:36And I like really love this person.
17:38And, um, I just don't understand like why people say that.
17:45And I just feel like that's the most hurtful thing is to just like dismiss it.
17:49Like it didn't exist or like it wasn't what it was, you know, because like there's real
17:54feelings, you know, of course.
17:56And, um, there's two hearts here that are hurting and going through something and we
18:01don't need other people adding their commentary into it and dismissing it.
18:06Yeah.
18:06Yeah.
18:07And, um, I just think that, um, I just hope that people can understand that, you know,
18:12it is very real and there's a lot of love and I still love him and, you know, who knows
18:19what will happen in the future.
18:21But, um, I think this is what's best for right now.
18:26Yeah.
18:27And you're going to focus on you.
18:28Yeah.
18:29And you're going to come out of it stronger.
18:31Yeah.
18:32I'm proud of you.
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