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Futile Attraction-Sd
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00:02:43M.K.
00:02:53M.K.
00:03:18Sorry about that Becky, do carry on Dudley.
00:03:21So, um, has anybody famous ever used your services?
00:03:27Well, no. Celebrities don't generally need dating services.
00:03:34That's what groupies are for.
00:03:36Ha.
00:03:38Yeah.
00:03:39Tell me about it.
00:03:41Oh, thank you honey.
00:03:48What about him? Maybe he's our guy.
00:03:51I don't think he's quite what you're looking for.
00:03:54He's what we in the industry call a bit of a challenge.
00:04:02Look, I get hundreds of calls a day. Just give it five minutes.
00:04:06I'm sure someone much more suitable will call.
00:04:18There'll be a rugby game on. There's always a dip in phone calls when there's a rugby game on.
00:04:23Are you guys sure you don't want me finding you a girl as well?
00:04:26I mean, I have plenty of those on my books.
00:04:29Mackenzie, our boss, wanted to go with Jermaine.
00:04:31He saw a photo of her in your brochure.
00:04:34And to be honest, that's why he chose your agency.
00:04:37I think she'll be great.
00:04:40I'm sure she'll be fine. It's just, that's why she's on my books.
00:04:44Because of that modelling contract.
00:04:46That's the appeal. We need sponsors. They love models.
00:04:51Have you met her yet?
00:04:53Oh, that's Saturday, isn't it?
00:04:55Really looking forward to that.
00:04:58As are we all, eh?
00:05:01I'm sure she'll be fine.
00:05:04What was the last movie that you saw?
00:05:13Oh, yeah.
00:05:15Sorry.
00:05:16I'm sure I'll find the one near any time.
00:05:19No, that's good.
00:05:20How many people have you got on your books?
00:05:22Two hundred and fifty minutes at the moment.
00:05:24Thank you.
00:05:25It's good, Mum, isn't it?
00:05:27Dudley! We're on!
00:05:30Hi, and welcome to the Flying Kiwi Dating Agency, where we take the grating out of dating.
00:05:46This is a business, not a household.
00:05:49Don't you people have a proper telephone directory?
00:05:51Or do you just punch random numbers and hope for a sale?
00:05:55Violet, get out of shot!
00:05:57Ah, right. Sorry.
00:06:04Judging from your job, I take it you're a single man.
00:06:10How would you like to buy some love?
00:06:17No, our prices are very reasonable.
00:06:20Not just because you've had no success with dating services in the past,
00:06:25there's no reason to give up on them entirely.
00:06:27It's like the Vietnam War.
00:06:30But nobody admitted defeat.
00:06:33Anyway, we can guarantee you one date.
00:06:38And when was the last time you had a date?
00:06:42I knew you'd see it my way.
00:06:46Now, what was your name again?
00:06:51Randall, uh-huh.
00:06:55And what's your phone number, Randall?
00:06:59Mm-hmm.
00:07:02I'm going to start processing this, but I'll need you to come down and complete the forms.
00:07:07Do you know where we are?
00:07:10That's right.
00:07:12Next to the marriage guidance counsellor.
00:07:16See you soon.
00:07:23Told you it'd be easy.
00:07:26Are we rolling?
00:07:41Yes.
00:07:42So, you've had a date set up for you by someone you've paid with someone you've never met.
00:07:49Isn't this just a 21st century reworking of the ancient arranged marriage?
00:07:55How do you plan for such a date?
00:07:57What are you going to wear?
00:07:58What are you going to say?
00:07:59What is the most important thing you need to know about the other person?
00:08:04Will it be the chicken liver, the vegetarian, or the steak meal?
00:08:10We're here today at Randall's house to find out the answers to some of these questions
00:08:17and to watch him get ready for the big date.
00:08:24Fuck, Anne. This is ridiculous. Why isn't there a runner in there telling him to open the door?
00:08:47I mean, Jesus, it's not fucking rocket science. And I am not doing that intro again.
00:08:53It's fine, Dudley. We can edit around this.
00:08:56Why? Oh, you guys must be the film crew. Sorry about that. My mum was on the phone.
00:09:01Hey, Randall. It's great to finally meet you. I'm Dudley Earnsworth.
00:09:06We talked on the phone. Can I come in and ask you a few questions?
00:09:10Sure.
00:09:11Sorry. Do you want me to do that again?
00:09:18Oh, these are my flatmates Ian and Oscar. Are they a problem?
00:09:28No, that's cool. They show you in your environment just so long as they keep quiet.
00:09:36Oh, um, what did you guys want to ask me?
00:09:39This is your...
00:09:40Oh, I know where I know you from. You did that flea powder ad and you used to be the weatherman, didn't you?
00:09:45My mother loved you.
00:09:46I was the economics reporter. I did the stock market report. I did the special reports on national and international economic issues.
00:09:58So why don't you do it anymore?
00:10:00They restructured.
00:10:03Did they? Who else lost their jobs?
00:10:06No one. Look, why haven't you had a date in more than a year?
00:10:10Oh, well the last girlfriend I had didn't like my mother and the one before that my mother didn't like.
00:10:15And more recently I've been far too busy working and trying to achieve my master plan.
00:10:21Oh, and what is your master plan?
00:10:24Well, it's something that me and mum sorted out after I finished tech.
00:10:28Um, get a steady job, save for a house, find a woman mum likes, get married and have kids.
00:10:37How far have you got in your master plan?
00:10:40Well, I've got a steady job, but that's as far as I've got so far.
00:10:44This program kind of took me by surprise. I guess it might help me jump to step three.
00:10:49I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it.
00:10:51Do you think the plan still works if I do it out of order?
00:10:54Yeah, I guess. I think what the viewers would really like to know is, what is your favourite colour?
00:11:04Oh, I don't know. I haven't thought about that in at least three months.
00:11:12Um, let's see.
00:11:15Well, Western Electric first mass-produced colour telephones in 1954.
00:11:20If you're talking about late model digital, I prefer the burgundy colour of this FX480 Mark II.
00:11:29Awesome, get me a drink, make it snappy.
00:11:31But if you're talking about vintage early electric, you can't really go past the classic ebony of this Bakelite handset here.
00:11:39I much prefer it to the black.
00:11:41Thanks man, you're a lifesaver.
00:11:43Randall, what are you talking about? Phones. I'm a telephile?
00:11:48Well, can we say that on television? I did not know that we were going to do a sex thing.
00:11:52No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not a phone freak. I'm just into phones. It's not sexual.
00:11:57Well, not usually.
00:11:59Yeah, right, I knew that.
00:12:03We telephiles are used to being misunderstood and persecuted.
00:12:07Call that snappy.
00:12:09Did you know that in 1884 the New York state legislator voted to have all the telephone poles removed?
00:12:15It was because of the noise the wind made whistling through the lines.
00:12:18The mayor even led a team of axemen through the city cutting down the poles.
00:12:22That's great. What about the rugby? Who's your pick to win the shield?
00:12:34I don't really know. The All Blacks.
00:12:39More of a league man, are you?
00:12:42Are those the only two options?
00:12:45Randall, what do you want out of this relationship?
00:12:52Well, I'd really like to meet my soul mate.
00:12:56Like I said before, I'd like to find my ideal woman and settle down.
00:13:01I think that's wonderful. And how would you describe your ideal woman?
00:13:07Oh, that's a hard question. Truly ideal.
00:13:11Well, she'd be into phones or at least something similar so she could relate to my being a phone enthusiast.
00:13:18But, to be honest, I've pretty much given up on that.
00:13:22I'd settle for someone who really liked me and who got along with my mother.
00:13:27That's really sweet, Randall. I hope you find your telephile.
00:13:30Cheers.
00:13:31Thanks, Randall. We've got a bit of extra stuff we need to film here before we go.
00:13:35But if you've got other stuff you need to do, we're fine without you.
00:13:39Cool. Yeah, well, I'd better ring my mum back.
00:13:47What the hell was that?
00:13:48Sorry, Dudley, but we needed to wrap it up and he was going off on unsuitable tangents.
00:13:52I asked the questions.
00:13:53Oh, absolutely. Irina, get a close up on Dudley. Ready and action.
00:13:58Oh.
00:14:02So, Randall, what are you looking for in this relationship?
00:14:10Well, I think that's wonderful, Randall.
00:14:13How would you describe your ideal partner?
00:14:16Well, that's really sweet, Randall. I hope you find your phonophile.
00:14:26Telephile?
00:14:28Shit.
00:14:30There's Irina in there with her, right? I'm not having a repeater yesterday.
00:14:46Relax, Dudley. I sent Mark ahead. I phoned him when we arrived. They're inside waiting for us.
00:14:51Good.
00:14:53So, there is, of course, another half to our couple.
00:14:57Her name is Jermaine, and she is the face of the Flying Kiwi Dating Service.
00:15:01And maybe also, it's Wings.
00:15:04She is a model, which makes Randall one of the luckiest blind daters in the world.
00:15:11But maybe there's more to her than meets the eye.
00:15:15We're about to find out.
00:15:17Oh, hi. How are you?
00:15:22Oh, hi. Is Jermaine in?
00:15:24Yeah, that's me.
00:15:26Sorry, I didn't recognise you without me.
00:15:29Sorry, Jermaine. Has there been some miscommunication?
00:15:33I thought you were expecting us at two?
00:15:35Yeah, that's right. Come on in.
00:15:37Yeah, do you want a minute to get ready?
00:15:39No, I'm ready. I've been waiting for you.
00:15:47Well, Jermaine, you're a model, obviously.
00:15:54Oh, God, no. I did it for a while to pay off some of my student loan, but I absolutely hated it.
00:16:00How strange. Why?
00:16:01Well, for one thing, I hate wearing dresses or any kind of glamorous clothes.
00:16:07You know, it's just not me. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.
00:16:10And I realised that all of the clothes I were modelling were made in third-world sweatshops.
00:16:15If it wasn't clothes, it was mainly make-up.
00:16:18The whole concept of which I find abhorrent.
00:16:20Not to mention what was done to animals to make it.
00:16:24I mean, after all my parents did to try and bring us up outside of that kind of a system,
00:16:29I felt like I was slapping them in the face by engaging and that sort...
00:16:35Sorry, I'm getting carried away. What was the question?
00:16:39So, where are you from?
00:16:41Originally Coromandel, but I've lived in Wellington since I was 18.
00:16:45I love it here.
00:16:46Yeah, it's great. Te Papa. The stadium. The Hurricanes. The new town under 18 netballers.
00:16:56But, what I love more than anything else, is the Korea Stream.
00:17:01The Korea Stream? I'm not familiar with it.
00:17:05I hate to tell you this, love, but if you're into boating, you really should be living in Auckland.
00:17:10I'll get you a photo.
00:17:11Dudley, would you mind asking Jermaine some relationship questions?
00:17:17Yeah, I was just getting to that, Anne.
00:17:24Here.
00:17:26Isn't it beautiful?
00:17:28We used to go camping there when I was a kid.
00:17:31It actually might not be around for much longer, unless...
00:17:34That's too bad, eh?
00:17:35So...
00:17:37What do you want from a relationship?
00:17:41Hmm...
00:17:43Let's see.
00:17:45Well, I like my independence, so I wouldn't want someone too clingy.
00:17:50Hmm...
00:17:52I find people obsessed with money, shall we say, frustrating.
00:17:56I'm fairly impulsive and don't like over-planning.
00:18:00I really don't want to be part of someone else's life plan.
00:18:04You know, I'm sick of all these insert girl hair guys, who have the house and the car and now want the girl.
00:18:10But most of all, I don't want to be someone's mother.
00:18:13Slab!
00:18:15Who the fuck left their phone off?
00:18:20Talk to me.
00:18:22Hey, Dad.
00:18:24Sure.
00:18:25It's for you.
00:18:31Howard, Mr McKenzie.
00:18:33This is a surprise.
00:18:34Hey, do you mind if I go to the note?
00:18:36No, no. Go right ahead.
00:18:38A sponsor already? That's great news.
00:18:40Yeah, I'm sure it'll look fantastic on her.
00:18:42Look, um, we may have a bit of a situation here and I just want to let you know now in case it comes back to bonus later.
00:18:49These two are going to hate each other.
00:18:51You'll never understand true hatred until you've gone to beauty magic.
00:18:54No, they're cooperating fine.
00:18:57It's just that I don't think we've got a compatible couple here.
00:19:01Slab?
00:19:03Sweet!
00:19:05No, mate. Violet knows her the slab. She fucked up a take.
00:19:08Chuck them in my curry.
00:19:09No, I don't think we'll make any kind of connection.
00:19:12I mean, I'm happy to continue, of course, that's your call, but...
00:19:15I think we should consider looking for a new couple.
00:19:18So, er, you're Howard McKenzie's daughter?
00:19:21Yeah. What about him?
00:19:24I don't know.
00:19:25Don't worry, we'll get your footage.
00:19:33Great, great. I'll look forward to it.
00:19:38Good news, everybody. We've got our first sponsor.
00:19:41Praline Artero want to provide Germaine's wardrobe. If all goes well, we can sell them the naming rights.
00:19:47Wicked! They rock!
00:19:49Er, that's, er, women's fashion? What about me?
00:19:52Yeah.
00:19:54McKenzie's sorting that out as we speak. He's got a lot of big phone calls scheduled.
00:19:59Jermaine, hun, um, things just got a whole lot better for you.
00:20:05What were you planning on wearing tomorrow night?
00:20:09Oh, I hadn't really thought about it. Jeans and a t-shirt, probably.
00:20:13Well, how would you like to wear a dress by Praline Artero?
00:20:16No thanks. Like I said, I'm not really into dresses. I'll just stick with my jeans.
00:20:20I'll wear it.
00:20:22Shut up, Violet. I'm sure that you could keep it afterwards.
00:20:25Thanks, but no thanks.
00:20:26Seriously, check it this way.
00:20:28Violet, you're not helping.
00:20:31You want to be on TV, right?
00:20:34Yeah.
00:20:35Of course you do. That's why most people do these things.
00:20:37Their reasons may be different, but at the end of the day, they all just want to be on telly.
00:20:42What's your point?
00:20:43To be quite honest, Jermaine, we had a lot of women lined up who would love the chance to wear a Praline Artero dress if we were to choose them.
00:20:52I like you, Jermaine.
00:20:54You're easily the smartest, most articulate of the woman that we filmed, and I would love to put you on TV.
00:21:02But sponsorship deals, they're out of my hands.
00:21:05And if you refuse to wear this dress tomorrow night, we'll have to go with somebody else. I'm sorry.
00:21:13Jermaine, it is my job and my pleasure to introduce you to Randall.
00:21:39Hi, Randall. How are you?
00:21:43Jermaine, is it?
00:21:45Wow. Um, hi.
00:21:48Oh, sorry. It's just that you look like a younger version of my mother.
00:21:52You look beautiful.
00:21:53What are your vegetarian dishes?
00:21:54You look beautiful.
00:21:55You look beautiful.
00:21:56You look beautiful.
00:22:00What are your vegetarian dishes?
00:22:01Uh, we have a range of vegetarian pasta dishes and salads. This column here.
00:22:14These are all tomato based, aren't they?
00:22:15That's right, ma'am.
00:22:16I don't suppose you know if the tomatoes are genetically engineered or not, do you? Most are.
00:22:17No, I'm afraid I don't. I don't order the food.
00:22:18The chef doesn't make a point of buying organic veggies, though.
00:22:19No, he doesn't.
00:22:20No, he doesn't.
00:22:21This is awkward.
00:22:22Sorry.
00:22:23What are your vegetarian dishes?
00:22:24What are your vegetarian dishes?
00:22:25Uh, we have a range of vegetarian pasta dishes and salads. This column here.
00:22:29These are all tomato based, aren't they?
00:22:31That's right, ma'am.
00:22:33I don't suppose you know if the tomatoes are genetically engineered or not, do you? Most are.
00:22:38No, I'm afraid I don't. I don't order the food.
00:22:42The chef doesn't make a point of buying organic veggies, though.
00:22:44No, he doesn't.
00:22:49This is awkward.
00:22:51Sorry to be a pain, guys.
00:22:54Well, what about your soup?
00:22:56Oh, soup of the day is clanducana.
00:22:58What's that?
00:22:59Duck.
00:23:02Can you eat bread?
00:23:04Yeah, but I don't really trust the wheat.
00:23:09Oh, well, why not live a little?
00:23:12How about some garlic bread?
00:23:15One garlic bread.
00:23:18And you, sir?
00:23:20You guys are picking up the tab, right?
00:23:21Yes, but that doesn't mean...
00:23:22What's your most expensive dish?
00:23:24Ah, that would be the vermicelli a la montarodoni o cello.
00:23:27What's that?
00:23:28A duck.
00:23:29Yes, tis the season, sir.
00:23:31Sounds fantastic. One of those, please.
00:23:33Wait a sec.
00:23:34And a drink?
00:23:35A bottle of your most expensive wine.
00:23:37Hold it. Cut.
00:23:38And yet people talk about live webcasts as though they're a modern idea, when as early as 1880 rich telephone operators were paying theatre employees to hold a phone receiver backstage so they could hear the opera from the comfort of their own homes.
00:23:56Wow, that really surprises me.
00:24:02Hey, do you know if they ever used Rimu logs for telegraph poles here?
00:24:07Unfortunately, New Zealand telecommunications history isn't easily accessible.
00:24:12But I believe Rimu would be a good wood to use, whatever your polling needs.
00:24:16I really love Rimu trees.
00:24:19Have you ever been to the Cordedetti stream?
00:24:22No, I can't say that I have.
00:24:24It's one of my favourite places in the world and there's a Rimu grove there. You'd really like it.
00:24:30I've got quite a collection of Rimu furniture.
00:24:34Hey, I know where I recognise you from. You used to be on Lotto, didn't you?
00:24:38No, I was the economics correspondent on the news.
00:24:41I thought they got the weather guy to do that.
00:24:43He replaced me.
00:24:44Yeah, they restructured and made him redundant.
00:24:47Oh no, you must be bitter.
00:24:50No, no, I totally understand their reasons for restructuring and I respect their decision.
00:24:55I always wondered if they actually used economists.
00:24:58Sometimes I get the impression they just used front men or women who are fed a dumbed down version of information they don't understand and attempt to make complex issues seem accessible and down to earth.
00:25:08Well, that's the way it is now, if you can get what I mean.
00:25:13Really?
00:25:14No.
00:25:16So, do you ascribe to the economic thinking of Philip Van Parise?
00:25:20Or are you more of a Milton Friedmanist?
00:25:24I'm going to be the next Simon Barnett.
00:25:26So, in response, they came out with a limited edition azure coloured model.
00:25:33I love azure. It reminds me of the deeper parts of the Koredere stream.
00:25:39You don't say.
00:25:40Yeah, it's quite tragic actually. Unless something's done in the next few months, it'll pretty much cease to exist.
00:25:45Yeah? You mean like the pole-mounted ceramic payphone?
00:25:50I guess. Anyway, the Parahehe Dam will be finished construction soon. That's upstream damming the Waiwai River that feeds the Koredere stream.
00:26:00And, er, you're against the Hydro Dam project?
00:26:04I'm not fond of it, but it is better than another fossil fuel power station.
00:26:08What concerns me is that the City Council Ecology Impact Report recommend that the stream provide a controlled, comparable flow to Koredere,
00:26:16because without it the stream will dry up, which will destroy the delicate ecosystem.
00:26:22Not only that, but the stream naturally irrigates a stand of Rimu trees there.
00:26:27It's unknown how many of them will survive and they're at least 300 years old.
00:26:32Oh, that's terrible.
00:26:34Yeah, and they could stop it quite easily if they provide the controlled flow.
00:26:37It only costs an extra $100,000.
00:26:41Only $100,000?
00:26:42That's nothing when the whole dam costs 37 million dollars.
00:26:47Can I get you some coffee or tea?
00:26:49I don't suppose it's ethically grown fair trade coffee?
00:26:53I don't suppose so, no.
00:26:55You should really order some from East Timor.
00:26:58They deserve all the support we can give them.
00:27:02Maybe it's time for the bill, eh?
00:27:04Certainly.
00:27:05Can I give you a card here?
00:27:06Oh, but of course.
00:27:07It's alright then.
00:27:09I've got it.
00:27:13I'm sorry sir, but we do not accept library cards.
00:27:16This radio mic's really uncomfortable.
00:27:19Do you think that violet girl knows what she's doing?
00:27:21No, that you don't mind poking me in the throat.
00:27:23I can't be in the right place.
00:27:24Evet.
00:27:36Bu radio mic is really uncomfortable.
00:27:38Adın mı LAactırlasına bakma şeyin?
00:27:41Cepetine pık lightalıyor.
00:27:43Ne?
00:27:47Bu, yaına koydu!
00:27:50Evet, iyi.
00:27:52Evet, çok iyi.
00:27:54Evet, iyi.
00:27:56Ben bir saksın.
00:27:58Bir gününün günü.
00:28:02Evet, iyi.
00:28:04Evet, iyi.
00:28:06Evet.
00:28:20İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:28:50İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:29:20İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:29:50İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:30:20İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:30:22Dudley, are you planning to ask him about Jermaine anytime soon?
00:30:25Yes, Mr. Werner.
00:30:26Don't tell me how to do my job, Anne.
00:30:28Sorry, sir.
00:30:29It's called Direction.
00:30:30Ah, I should get back to work.
00:30:35That was my boss asking why I hadn't made any calls in the last two minutes.
00:30:38Psst.
00:30:42Psst.
00:30:43Psst.
00:30:44Hi, my name is Randall.
00:30:47I'm calling on behalf of Dayton and Wood.
00:30:50And you play it all in real time, aye?
00:30:56The Great Depression is over a decade of high strategy real time gameplay.
00:31:04We're linked to fellow depressors all over the world.
00:31:07I'm going to try and steal his rationale.
00:31:11James T.
00:31:15Kirk!
00:31:16What happened?
00:31:21Picard beat me to it.
00:31:24Do you think it's really Patrick Stewart?
00:31:25He's way too cool for that.
00:31:33You, however, are stupid and uncool.
00:31:37You would've last five minutes in the Babylon 5 universe.
00:31:44It's probably Mark Hamill.
00:31:45Mark, coffee!
00:31:57Yep.
00:32:00And I'm ready to talk to your, talk to your husband.
00:32:05You got sugar?
00:32:06Hello?
00:32:06Sorry.
00:32:07Blank and tea.
00:32:09That sounded like...
00:32:10You all right?
00:32:11Yep.
00:32:12I'll just do it some cutaways.
00:32:14How do you do that?
00:32:15No, I'm sure what you're suggesting is completely illegal.
00:32:19No, I'm hanging up.
00:32:21I'm hanging up.
00:32:22Goodbye.
00:32:24Randall.
00:32:26What did you think of Jermaine?
00:32:28Well, I thought she was great.
00:32:31Sometimes I find it really hard talking to new people.
00:32:33But we really clicked.
00:32:35Every time I offered a new subject of conversation,
00:32:37she'd just roll with it and go in all sorts of different directions.
00:32:40Yeah.
00:32:41She seemed really interested in everything I had to say.
00:32:44Yeah, she's cool.
00:32:45So you want to keep going and see what happens?
00:32:51Oh, definitely.
00:32:53Well, I thought she might like it if I made a donation to that river thing she's into.
00:32:57Surely there must be some sort of save the river fund or something.
00:33:00If I gave you guys five bucks, would you be able to find out where to send it?
00:33:05Hello and welcome to Dayton and Werner.
00:33:13You're speaking with Randall.
00:33:15How may I help you?
00:33:17Yes, Mr. Werner?
00:33:19No, surely that isn't necessary.
00:33:23Well, couldn't you dock my pay like last time?
00:33:25No, that sounds more than fair.
00:33:33I should get back to work.
00:33:35We've all seen guys get their hopes up,
00:33:45only to have them dashed on the rocks of unrequited love.
00:33:49It's all up to Jermaine now.
00:33:52Will Randall's dreams come true?
00:33:53Or will she crush his little heart?
00:33:58Jermaine, honey.
00:34:00Tell me, of all the crazy important things in the world to get upset about,
00:34:04why do you get passionate about a stream?
00:34:07Believe me, I get upset and passionate about all sorts of things.
00:34:11Take death, for instance.
00:34:15Cordedity is one of the least of my worries,
00:34:17but you've got to pick your battles.
00:34:19I thought long and hard about what I should and shouldn't talk to Randall about,
00:34:22because activism can be intimidating if it's piled on all at once.
00:34:26I also wanted to be careful about what I said
00:34:28so I couldn't be edited to sound like a new age flake.
00:34:31And there's a chance that a lot of people watching this
00:34:34will be exposed to some ideas for the first time,
00:34:36so I'd rather they were exposed to issues they could do something about
00:34:40rather than abstract economic philosophy.
00:34:44Excuse me.
00:34:50Hello, Trade Aid.
00:34:52Yeah, she is. Hang on.
00:34:55Anne, it's for you.
00:34:57Eh?
00:35:00Anne here.
00:35:02Mr McKenzie.
00:35:04Yeah, I asked her to turn it off while we were shooting.
00:35:06Is that really necessary?
00:35:13Okay, I suppose it's not a problem.
00:35:16Yeah, we're filming her at her work.
00:35:21No.
00:35:23Just sort of casual clothes.
00:35:27That is not the arrangement we discussed.
00:35:29Oh, I suppose so.
00:35:35But they only supplied us with one outfit.
00:35:41Consider it done.
00:35:46This is unfair.
00:35:49Just think about the stream, Jermaine.
00:35:51You're doing it for the stream.
00:35:53This is the last time.
00:35:54Jermaine, what did you think of Randall?
00:35:58Did he, um, get your motor running?
00:36:00Or was the fan belt broken?
00:36:04He seemed like a nice guy.
00:36:07I kind of dominated the conversation a bit,
00:36:10so I can't say I really got to know him.
00:36:12We should talk again and see what happens.
00:36:13Now is the moment of truth.
00:36:23Randall's been psyching himself up all day,
00:36:25and now he's ready to find out
00:36:27if he has the guts to ask Jermaine out on a date
00:36:29we didn't set up.
00:36:31She may say no,
00:36:33but at least then, in his loneliness,
00:36:35he'll know he wasn't a quitter.
00:36:42Come on, Randall.
00:36:43You can do this.
00:36:46I'm just hoping that for the first time,
00:36:48since the great Alexander Bell died,
00:36:50that the entire phone network
00:36:52is experiencing a minute's silence.
00:36:55For fuck's sake, Randall,
00:36:56this is the third time I've introduced you.
00:36:58Now just us go out so we can all go home.
00:37:01I can't believe he made such a generous donation
00:37:04to the Save the Kuretide stream fund.
00:37:06Yeah, I think he likes you.
00:37:08But $500?
00:37:09I kind of feel bad about that.
00:37:10Didn't look like he had much money.
00:37:13Hello?
00:37:13$500?
00:37:15What the fuck?
00:37:16He only gave us five.
00:37:18Oh, hi Dudley.
00:37:19Oh, well, Dan might have beefed it up a bit.
00:37:21You know, help speed things a lot.
00:37:23Jeans and a t-shirt?
00:37:25You what?
00:37:27Randall has something he wants to ask you.
00:37:29Hi.
00:37:31Hi.
00:37:31Hi, Randall.
00:37:33Look, it was really nice of you to make the donation.
00:37:36Oh, that's cool.
00:37:37It was nothing really.
00:37:38It was very generous.
00:37:40Look, I hope you didn't feel I was pressuring you.
00:37:42No, it's not pressure.
00:37:44Well, if you're sure.
00:37:47Look, it'll make a huge difference to our work.
00:37:50Thank you.
00:37:52Do you, um, maybe want to, um, I don't know.
00:37:56Oh, forget about it.
00:37:58It's silly.
00:37:58Ow!
00:38:00Do you want to go out again?
00:38:01Yeah.
00:38:03That's okay.
00:38:04Look, I said it was silly.
00:38:06Hold on.
00:38:07Did you say yes?
00:38:08What do you want?
00:38:08Sure, that sounds great.
00:38:10What do you want to do?
00:38:11Um, hold on a sec.
00:38:12What should we do?
00:38:14I didn't think she'd say yes.
00:38:15Oh, she's smart.
00:38:16The museum is an exhibit of modern architecture.
00:38:19New Zealand stuff.
00:38:20She'll like it.
00:38:21Do you want to go to the museum?
00:38:22There's an exhibition on modern New Zealand architecture.
00:38:28That's funny.
00:38:31But seriously, what are we going to do?
00:38:34I'm out of ideas.
00:38:35Is there anything you've always wanted to do on a date?
00:38:39They're paying for it.
00:38:40Oh, look, how about a picnic at the Franz Josef Glacier?
00:38:46Okay.
00:38:47Well, that was going to be my next suggestion.
00:38:51Where is that again?
00:38:53Look, we could do a day trip.
00:38:54Fly down in the morning, take a helicopter up to the top,
00:38:57have a picnic, and fly back in the afternoon.
00:39:00Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:39:01Back the helicopter up, honey.
00:39:02Our budget does not cover adventure tourism.
00:39:05It's got to be something we can film easily.
00:39:07Now, the most adventurous thing you two will be doing
00:39:09is watching an action movie on video.
00:39:13Anne says we can get out of video.
00:39:18Well, that could also be fun.
00:39:24She sounds horrible.
00:39:25How did you break up in the end?
00:39:26She dumped me and repainted the house.
00:39:28This is getting ridiculous.
00:39:30What sort of sponsor provides only one outfit?
00:39:34That's a nice watch, is it, old?
00:39:36Yeah, and who's thinking this documentary?
00:39:38Praline Atero, or Anne Radha?
00:39:39Yeah, I've had it since I was ten.
00:39:42I've only taken it off three times since my mother gave it to me.
00:39:45Mama's boy.
00:39:46That's so sweet.
00:39:46It must be pretty waterproof to handle 15 years' worth of showers.
00:39:49Sadly, no.
00:39:50The three times I took it off was to get it fixed,
00:39:52but now it's permanently broken.
00:39:54All I'm saying is get her another outfit.
00:39:56I'll settle for a poncho and a beanie.
00:39:58That's funny.
00:39:59Yeah, hasn't told the time since June 1993.
00:40:02Is that the last time you said no to your mother?
00:40:06No.
00:40:07I do feel that they're taking it in a different direction tonight.
00:40:10My mum bought my dad a watch for their anniversary last week.
00:40:13It's got a pearl in it because of their 30th anniversary.
00:40:15Oh, yeah?
00:40:16Can I get him lemonade?
00:40:17Of course I'm playing on the same team as you.
00:40:21You had my word as an employee.
00:40:23Can you imagine being married for 30 years?
00:40:25I think it's amazing that I've managed with all of us kids.
00:40:29It's pretty cool, actually.
00:40:33Yeah.
00:40:35Violet, your father says hi.
00:40:37Oh, cheers.
00:40:40So, why do you still wear that watch?
00:40:42Oh, general principle.
00:40:44Now that it's broken, it doesn't matter how wet it gets.
00:40:46So, how do you tell the time?
00:40:48Oh.
00:40:50See, this one works fine.
00:40:53What, Jake?
00:40:54Sorry, sorry.
00:40:55Look, the lemonade was fat.
00:40:57A bit too strong for you, was it, Dudley?
00:41:00Jermaine, there's some toilets out the back if you want to dry off.
00:41:02I'm really sorry about that.
00:41:04Yeah, thanks.
00:41:06Oh, Randall, you choose the video.
00:41:07Whatever you pick will be fine.
00:41:09OK.
00:41:10My lemonade is not fat.
00:41:13Hey, Violet, can I ask your advice?
00:41:15Yeah.
00:41:16You might want to try something different with your hair.
00:41:19No, no, no, it's not that.
00:41:20You're a girl, right?
00:41:21Yeah.
00:41:22What video should I choose?
00:41:24What do you think Jermaine would like?
00:41:25Oh, easy.
00:41:26Get the suppiest romance thing you can find.
00:41:28Something with a girl gets totally swept off her feet, she'll love it.
00:41:32Great.
00:41:33Like what?
00:41:35Let's see if they've got pride and prejudice.
00:41:37Hey, here it is.
00:41:47Nah, get this version.
00:41:49It's heaps better.
00:41:50I saw it like five times in the cinema.
00:41:53You'll have it eating out of your hand.
00:41:55Great.
00:41:56Thanks, Violet.
00:41:56So what did you get?
00:42:04Oh, pride and prejudice.
00:42:05Oh, what get?
00:42:06The Colin Firth version?
00:42:07Uh, no.
00:42:09Freddie Prinze Jr.
00:42:10Darn it, Elizabeth.
00:42:15I don't know how else to say it.
00:42:17I...
00:42:18I love you.
00:42:21Oh, Darcy?
00:42:22I love you too.
00:42:24But not as much as I love you, Snookims.
00:42:27What are you doing, sir?
00:42:29I go to Boston for a week and look what happened.
00:42:33How do you know that I'm a single man in possession of a good fortune?
00:42:38I need a dream.
00:42:38And I want Elizabeth for my wife.
00:42:41Gosh.
00:42:43No, Wickham.
00:42:44I can never love a man who played such a nasty trick.
00:42:47Poor Darcy told me what you did.
00:42:49First you spiked the punch,
00:42:52and then he had to go through the entire ball
00:42:53with a woodpecker in his trousers.
00:42:56Feel funny.
00:42:57And it hurt to walk for a week.
00:42:59I can't put my finger on it, but something's not right.
00:43:01It almost ruined his good name,
00:43:02and I thought for the longest time
00:43:04that he was a good one.
00:43:06And it hurt him to walk for a week.
00:43:08I just said that.
00:43:10Oh, I know that.
00:43:12I was just repeating the end of it.
00:43:14Elizabeth, stop your crackling.
00:43:16You will marry me.
00:43:17You have no choice in the matter.
00:43:18Hello.
00:43:19Oh, hi, Mrs. Fotoist.
00:43:22Yeah, I'll just get in for you.
00:43:23Number one, Supreme Leader.
00:43:24Kindly place the lady back on the ground.
00:43:27Your fight is with me.
00:43:29Oh, you're right.
00:43:30Philadelphia ain't big enough for the both of us.
00:43:34Hi, Mum.
00:43:35Uh, Mum!
00:43:36No!
00:43:38I'm truly fortune's fool!
00:43:40Oscar, give me a drink.
00:43:40Darcy!
00:43:41Stop your whinging.
00:43:42Now's not really a good time, though.
00:43:43Darcy, you'd still be alive.
00:43:44Is that a good time to hear?
00:43:46I am still alive!
00:43:49Oscar!
00:43:50What?
00:43:51No, of course you're more important to me than that.
00:43:53How?
00:43:54Your bullet hit my Bible,
00:43:56which I carry over my heart.
00:43:58Oscar, don't make me Vulcan neck grip you again.
00:44:00Oh, Mr. Wickham.
00:44:02Now, let me ask you,
00:44:04how much of a religious man do you feel you are?
00:44:08Oh, no!
00:44:10Mum, I love you the most.
00:44:12I'll call you later.
00:44:13Philadelphia truly is the city of love.
00:44:15Yes, it is.
00:44:17And who would have thought that a bleeding corpse
00:44:19could bring such happiness?
00:44:22Truly such...
00:44:23That's Steve Hedner!
00:44:26He was on episode B-19 of Star Trek Voyager!
00:44:29Police aren't pressing charges.
00:44:31And he played Mulder's adopted twin brother's clone
00:44:34in the X-Files episode Little Nimoy wrote.
00:44:36If I don't do this,
00:44:37your little munchkin won't be on the TV.
00:44:39You left your reoccurring role on Deep Space Nine
00:44:42to pursue a movie career?
00:44:43He would offer himself on the mercy of the Tuxan legal system.
00:44:46Traitor!
00:44:48Yes, Mum.
00:44:50I know my labour was painful.
00:44:52You make me suck!
00:44:54But not nearly as much as I love you, sweet pea.
00:44:57While if you both smile at each other...
00:44:59I know.
00:45:00I suppose...
00:45:0023 hours.
00:45:02Yeah, I'm really lucky you survived.
00:45:04Just...
00:45:04I'd like to have a little chat to stop that.
00:45:07Woodpecker.
00:45:11Wasn't that just the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
00:45:15Mum, do you want grandchildren?
00:45:17Thanks.
00:45:18Yep, 20 minutes tops.
00:45:19That was the best movie I've seen in ages.
00:45:29Sorry, I dropped some popcorn there before.
00:45:32Movie over?
00:45:33Oh, yeah.
00:45:34Do you want to rewind and watch the last bit again?
00:45:36No, that's fine.
00:45:37Hey, Jermaine,
00:45:38do you want to go get some ice cream,
00:45:40curl up in blankets at my place
00:45:41and watch Steel Magnolias, the director's cut?
00:45:43Is it as good as this one?
00:45:44Better.
00:45:45I've got it on DVD
00:45:46and there's an extra two hours.
00:45:47Sounds great.
00:45:48Random?
00:45:50No, I'd better not.
00:45:51I've got to make some calls.
00:45:52You sure?
00:45:53Yeah.
00:45:55You guys can go.
00:45:57Uh, can I come?
00:45:59Yeah, sure you can.
00:46:00Violet!
00:46:12Get back here,
00:46:14you fucking sound gear,
00:46:15you stupid bitch!
00:46:20Lily?
00:46:20Lily?
00:46:22You'd never survive out there without me.
00:46:29You all right, Randall?
00:46:30My watch?
00:46:34Oh, yes.
00:46:36Sorry about that.
00:46:37I think Jermaine's still on it.
00:46:40Uh, we'll get you a new one.
00:46:43Mum's going to kill me.
00:46:46Sports cut?
00:46:47Are we going to get any sponsorship
00:46:49that involves me?
00:46:50Yes!
00:46:50You couldn't drive a bus into a wall.
00:46:54Ah!
00:46:54Well, the ball is well and truly rolling
00:47:14and love is in the air.
00:47:16The third date is about to begin
00:47:18and I think Randall has to ask himself one question.
00:47:22Does he feel lucky?
00:47:24Well, do you?
00:47:25What's up, Randall?
00:47:29Oh, God.
00:47:30What am I going to do?
00:47:33About what?
00:47:34Well, Mum keeps bugging me
00:47:35to get married and settle down.
00:47:36She thinks I'm too old
00:47:37to be playing the field.
00:47:39I thought that's what I wanted too,
00:47:40but after Jermaine started talking about marriage...
00:47:43I don't know.
00:47:44I guess it's the first time
00:47:47that's really seemed like a reality.
00:47:51I don't know if it's what I want.
00:47:54Want a warm milk?
00:47:55Oh, that'd be great, yeah.
00:47:57Oh, get out of shock, will you?
00:48:00Go on!
00:48:04White with one.
00:48:05Coffee, for me.
00:48:07So, Jermaine's talking marriage, huh?
00:48:09Yeah, well, she wants to get married for 30 years
00:48:12and have heaps of kids.
00:48:13Oh, this is too much pressure.
00:48:16I really don't know if it's what I want.
00:48:18Is it what you want?
00:48:19I don't know.
00:48:21And then she broke my watch.
00:48:23I don't think I can stay with a watch breaker.
00:48:26And it's affecting my work too.
00:48:28Yesterday, I only managed to hitch up 150 sit-downs.
00:48:32That's right, I'll be earning less than a nurse.
00:48:35Maybe it'd be easier if she dumped me.
00:48:38Do you mean you dumped her?
00:48:39Oh, I don't think I could do that.
00:48:41But I'm pretty sure I could make her dump me.
00:48:44That's really your decision to make, Randall.
00:48:46But I want you to know that whatever you decide,
00:48:48we'll be there to film it.
00:48:50Oh, and, um, Anne, I almost forgot.
00:48:52Mackenzie, what are we going to do with these?
00:48:54What are they?
00:48:55Oh, I don't know.
00:48:56He mentioned something about script pages.
00:48:58The footage he wants today.
00:48:59Where he wants the relationship to go.
00:49:01Something like that.
00:49:02What?
00:49:03What is this shit?
00:49:06Now he's trying to control the relationship.
00:49:08One kiss, two handholds,
00:49:11and a cliffhanger aiming so we can cut to an ad break.
00:49:15The whole point of a documentary is that you document things.
00:49:22It's not called a manipulatory or a fictionary.
00:49:25It's a fucking documentary.
00:49:27Anne, I think you're overreacting.
00:49:29Let's just give Mackenzie what he wants.
00:49:31If they kiss, film it.
00:49:33If they hold hands, for fuck's sake, film it.
00:49:35If there is a cliffhanger and we don't get it on camera,
00:49:37then somebody is going to lose an eye.
00:49:39But we do not change the course of the days.
00:49:44I'm going to do it.
00:49:45She's going to dump me.
00:49:46Oh yeah, how are you planning to do that?
00:49:48Well, so far Jermaine's only seen one side of me.
00:49:50The caring, sensitive, reliable Randall.
00:49:54The side that mum taught me to show women.
00:49:56It's no wonder she wants to marry me.
00:49:58But there's a side of me that nobody's seen.
00:50:00Not even mum.
00:50:02It's the rugged, rough Randall the loner.
00:50:05And once Jermaine sees that side of me,
00:50:09she'll have no choice but to dump me.
00:50:11I know it's going to be really hard for her,
00:50:13but I think it's best for both of us.
00:50:22All right, Don.
00:50:23Come on, let's go.
00:50:25Yeah.
00:50:25Yeah.
00:50:35Mark, get it out!
00:50:58Get it out!
00:50:59When the Parahehe Dam is finished construction,
00:51:16it will completely stop the flow of Koredere
00:51:18and dry up the stream bed.
00:51:21Unless, of course,
00:51:23we can make them adjust their plans.
00:51:25It's a bit of a tiddler, isn't it?
00:51:28That's exactly the point.
00:51:29It would make such a small change
00:51:31in the volume of water
00:51:32they'll have flowing through the dam.
00:51:33They act as if it'll ruin the whole project.
00:51:37It's all pretty ugly, if you ask me.
00:51:39Absolutely.
00:51:40The dam's horrible.
00:51:42Even for a dam,
00:51:43Parahehe's dam ugly.
00:51:46If you'll excuse the pun.
00:51:47I've got so many childhood memories
00:51:51associated with this place.
00:51:54It conjures up images of family
00:51:57and community in me.
00:51:58This inspires images of solitude in me.
00:52:01Sometimes my father would go off by himself.
00:52:03He'd just disappear.
00:52:05Sometimes he'd be gone for weeks.
00:52:08It's at times like this
00:52:09that I understand him.
00:52:11Just buggering off without telling anyone
00:52:13sounds very peaceful sometimes.
00:52:14Wow, that sounds fantastic.
00:52:16I can so relate to that.
00:52:18You just want to step out of society
00:52:20for a while
00:52:21and be by yourself in the bush.
00:52:23Just you and nature.
00:52:25I try and do it whenever I can.
00:52:27Just me, a blanket
00:52:28and a bag of squabbing.
00:52:30When it comes down to it,
00:52:32you know,
00:52:32at the end of the day,
00:52:34all I care about is myself.
00:52:36What I do is important.
00:52:38I don't care about anyone else.
00:52:40It's all about me.
00:52:41The personal is political.
00:52:43You're so right.
00:52:44I mean, you can talk all you like.
00:52:46Argue, campaign, sign petitions.
00:52:49But to actually live your life
00:52:51as a statement,
00:52:53it forces people to look at their own lives.
00:52:57Is this all really worth it?
00:53:00I mean, come on,
00:53:00this place is history.
00:53:02Yeah, this place is history.
00:53:05New Zealand should know its history
00:53:07and preserve the few remaining patches
00:53:09of native bush we have.
00:53:15Touching trees can be almost spiritual sometimes,
00:53:18can't it?
00:53:19How's this
00:53:34for spiritual?
00:53:38You shame me, Randall.
00:53:42All these weeds should be ripped out.
00:53:44Only endemic plants
00:53:45should be left growing.
00:53:46If we're going to save the Korerere stream,
00:53:48we should do it properly.
00:53:52I think I might just
00:53:53spend a little time
00:53:56on my own now.
00:54:03This is such a perfect sight
00:54:05to meditate alone
00:54:07while you take in the beauty.
00:54:09And yet,
00:54:14if we don't do something
00:54:15to save this stream,
00:54:17it could be lost forever.
00:54:25I don't know what to do
00:54:26about Randall.
00:54:27I honestly never thought
00:54:28I'd get anything personally useful
00:54:30out of this,
00:54:30but I really like him.
00:54:33I just thought it would be
00:54:34geeks and losers
00:54:35who use the dating service,
00:54:36but at Korerere
00:54:38I realised
00:54:39he's something special.
00:54:41I guess he's just a bit shy.
00:54:43I know he's been busy at work.
00:54:45He quit.
00:54:46He wasn't returning our calls.
00:54:48We called his work
00:54:49and his boss told us
00:54:50he's quit.
00:54:51Really?
00:54:52Any time I try
00:54:53and ring him at home,
00:54:54his flatmates say
00:54:54he's not on the bridge
00:54:55or something about a wormhole.
00:54:57I don't know,
00:54:57I think it's some sort of a code.
00:54:59But it's been over a week.
00:55:01Oh, well, there's nothing.
00:55:02I mean,
00:55:03this is just the way
00:55:04guys relate to women,
00:55:05you know?
00:55:06I sometimes go months
00:55:07without talking to girlfriends.
00:55:11I think I must have upset him.
00:55:14I don't know how,
00:55:15but I want to get him
00:55:15something to apologise.
00:55:17Maybe it'll go nowhere,
00:55:19but maybe it will.
00:55:20I don't want to miss my chance.
00:55:22Do you guys know
00:55:23what I might have done
00:55:24or how I could make it up to him?
00:55:28I'm sorry, Jermaine,
00:55:29but we can't give you
00:55:30that kind of information.
00:55:32I mean,
00:55:32this is something
00:55:33the two of you
00:55:33should sort out.
00:55:36Please?
00:55:41Hello?
00:55:42Oh, hi, Carl.
00:55:44You all know
00:55:45how I feel
00:55:46about getting involved
00:55:46in the relationship,
00:55:47but we need an ending.
00:55:50No, it's Saturday's
00:55:51GE Free Day.
00:55:52Thursday's the peace vigil.
00:55:53Well, they've got to get together.
00:55:54It's the only way.
00:55:56The International Bolshevik
00:55:57Tendency are painting banners.
00:55:59Wellington Trotsky Collective
00:56:00are printing leaflets.
00:56:01Under no circumstances
00:56:03do you let them
00:56:03in the same room
00:56:04as each other.
00:56:05Look, I don't care
00:56:05if they're getting married
00:56:06or killing each other
00:56:08at the end of this,
00:56:09but we need
00:56:10something definite.
00:56:12I mean,
00:56:12it's all too anticlimactic.
00:56:15I could never make this
00:56:16work in the edit.
00:56:17Well, Nicky should be keen,
00:56:18but you'll have to talk
00:56:19to him in person.
00:56:20He's too paranoid
00:56:21to talk on the phone.
00:56:22Well, if you really
00:56:23don't care,
00:56:24then help her out.
00:56:25Jermaine wants Randall.
00:56:27Randall wants Jermaine.
00:56:28And he's too chicken
00:56:29to admit it.
00:56:30They'll be happy.
00:56:32And if you remember
00:56:33today's script pages,
00:56:35Mackenzie wants them
00:56:36to get together.
00:56:37And if he's happy,
00:56:39we're happy.
00:56:40It's a win-win,
00:56:42win-win situation.
00:56:44Cool.
00:56:45I'll see you
00:56:46at the Cenotaph.
00:56:46So I was thinking
00:56:53flowers.
00:56:54Would he like that?
00:56:55No, no, no, no.
00:56:56No, he's a guy.
00:56:58Give him something manly,
00:56:59like a drill.
00:57:01I once got sent a toaster.
00:57:04He was a really nice guy.
00:57:05I should have gone out
00:57:06with him.
00:57:09Get him a phone.
00:57:11What?
00:57:12He's a telephile.
00:57:14I mean, he'd love it.
00:57:15I can't get him a phone.
00:57:16and there couldn't be
00:57:17a worse present
00:57:18for a telemarketer
00:57:18who just quit his job.
00:57:24Hey, I've got it.
00:57:29Anne, look alive.
00:57:32This is a rock.
00:57:33I found it could.
00:57:34He'll love it.
00:57:36Can you give it to him
00:57:37for me, please?
00:57:41Yeah.
00:57:42Yeah, sure, Jermaine.
00:57:44That'd be my pleasure.
00:57:46I took your advice, Ed.
00:57:50I've started standing up
00:57:52for myself.
00:57:53I quit my job.
00:57:54I told my mum
00:57:55to give me some space.
00:57:57And I've been doing
00:57:58some soul searching.
00:57:59Good on you, Randall.
00:58:00I'm pleased to hear it.
00:58:02Sorry if I was avoiding you.
00:58:04I was just finding my head,
00:58:06if you know what I mean.
00:58:07So,
00:58:09who do you think's
00:58:10going to win Survivor?
00:58:12I've no idea.
00:58:14But I did figure out
00:58:15what I want
00:58:15from a relationship.
00:58:16Great.
00:58:17And what's that?
00:58:18Well, I don't want
00:58:19to be pushed around anymore
00:58:20and made to fit
00:58:21someone else's idea
00:58:22of who I should be.
00:58:23I just want someone
00:58:24who understands me
00:58:25and will accept me
00:58:26for who I am.
00:58:29And I learned to say no.
00:58:30Open the present, Randall.
00:58:34No.
00:58:36See?
00:58:39I was just kidding.
00:58:40We were suggesting
00:58:41some possible gifts
00:58:42that Jermaine could get you,
00:58:44but ultimately
00:58:44she wanted to get you
00:58:45something personal
00:58:46and from her.
00:58:48So she got you this.
00:59:00Mum's the only one
00:59:14that's ever got me
00:59:15a bone before.
00:59:16Obviously it's a bit old.
00:59:18No, no.
00:59:19It's perfect.
00:59:22I can restore it.
00:59:30How do you know
00:59:47they're going to be here?
00:59:48We sort of tapped
00:59:49their phones.
00:59:51Bugging their phones,
00:59:51isn't that a tad extreme?
00:59:53For one thing,
00:59:53it's illegal.
00:59:54Hey, shh.
00:59:54Here they come.
00:59:57And filming them
00:59:58without permission?
00:59:59Drop it, Irina.
01:00:00You're in it.
01:00:03Yeah, just do
01:00:04your fucking job, Irina.
01:00:08I'd prefer not to see
01:00:09Van Damme's face kicker.
01:00:11I'm not saying
01:00:11you can't choose the movie.
01:00:13I'm just saying
01:00:13you can't choose that one.
01:00:15Okay, desert killer it is then.
01:00:17Oh.
01:00:18What?
01:00:18Nothing.
01:00:29No, it's completely realistic.
01:00:30Stallone would have survived
01:00:32that airstrike.
01:00:33I mean, they don't just
01:00:33bomb everywhere these days,
01:00:35you know.
01:00:35They have special,
01:00:36smart bombs
01:00:37that only kill soldiers.
01:00:39You say the funniest
01:00:40thing sometimes.
01:00:41What gets me
01:00:42is how they were claiming
01:00:43it was anti-war.
01:00:44I mean, first of all,
01:00:45the heroes invaded
01:00:46the country they were
01:00:47fighting in.
01:00:48Second, they were
01:00:48waving their flags
01:00:49about clearly assuming
01:00:50an imperialistic cultural
01:00:51dominance.
01:00:52and then they solved
01:00:53their conflict
01:00:53by military means.
01:00:55I mean, that by its
01:00:55very definition
01:00:56is pro-war.
01:00:57I just thought
01:00:57it was a good action film.
01:01:01Hey, what do you think
01:01:02you're doing?
01:01:03Oh, it's just
01:01:03scratching it honest.
01:01:04I mean her,
01:01:05she's recording us.
01:01:06Um, uh-huh.
01:01:08It wasn't my idea.
01:01:09Could you use
01:01:10another help here, Irina?
01:01:11Have you been recording
01:01:12everything we've been saying?
01:01:13You weren't filming us
01:01:14during the movie, were you?
01:01:15With a night vision camera
01:01:16that can see things
01:01:17in the dark.
01:01:18Um, ask Dudley.
01:01:20Here we are
01:01:20on the fourth day.
01:01:21Randall and Jermaine
01:01:22have decided to make
01:01:23a go of it.
01:01:23Randall survived
01:01:24the chick flick
01:01:24and now Jermaine
01:01:26has endured
01:01:26the inspired by real
01:01:27events Stallone vehicle.
01:01:29A free test
01:01:29of any relationship.
01:01:31Holy cow!
01:01:32This is an invading
01:01:33of our privacy!
01:01:34Sorry guys,
01:01:34you don't have any privacy.
01:01:36You signed a contract
01:01:36that stated we could
01:01:37film you while you were dating.
01:01:39That includes all
01:01:39contact you two had,
01:01:40going to the movies,
01:01:41throwing conversations.
01:01:42We even had the right
01:01:43to film you in the bedroom.
01:01:44if we want to.
01:01:45You've been taping
01:01:45our phone conversations!
01:01:47Michael, we've been bugged!
01:01:48I'm going to sue you
01:01:49with the people I know
01:01:49this could be
01:01:50very embarrassing for you!
01:01:52Who do you think
01:01:52can afford the best lawyer?
01:01:53Look, let's just calm down
01:01:55Jermaine, we don't want
01:01:56to upset you,
01:01:56but we need to finish
01:01:57our show
01:01:58and you two are
01:01:59making it really difficult.
01:02:00How much longer
01:02:01are we allowed
01:02:01to film us for?
01:02:02Five days
01:02:03and one interview.
01:02:04This is our fourth date,
01:02:05right?
01:02:05And you're allowed
01:02:06our fifth date
01:02:06and an interview.
01:02:07But we need
01:02:08a climax.
01:02:09And the two of you
01:02:10together, preferably.
01:02:11Excuse me?
01:02:11Yeah, and McKenzie
01:02:12has first right of refusal
01:02:13so I need to tell all books
01:02:14you may write
01:02:14about your experiences.
01:02:16I'll get this over
01:02:16with as quickly as possible.
01:02:18Randall, when's our next day?
01:02:19Well, I'm going to go
01:02:19tomorrow morning
01:02:20with some friends at six.
01:02:21Do you want to come?
01:02:22Perfect.
01:02:23We can do the interview
01:02:24after all the over
01:02:25with lunch here.
01:02:25That's doable.
01:02:27What?
01:02:27I've got to get out of here!
01:02:29Randall, I'll see you
01:02:30at your place at six.
01:02:32Okay.
01:02:33See you later, Jermaine.
01:02:38Oh.
01:02:39See you guys
01:02:40at six o'clock
01:02:41in the morning.
01:02:42How am I going to edit
01:02:43this into a watchable
01:02:44documentary?
01:02:52Oh my gosh.
01:02:58So where are we off to?
01:03:00It's duck hunting season.
01:03:02And you think
01:03:03this is a good way
01:03:04to impress Jermaine?
01:03:05Yeah, she'll like it.
01:03:06She's into animals
01:03:07and nature, right?
01:03:08Oh, of course.
01:03:10So where are these friends
01:03:11you mentioned?
01:03:12Oh, look.
01:03:13That's fallen through.
01:03:14Well, Oscar hasn't been seen
01:03:16since that video night.
01:03:17I guess he's found
01:03:18something more interesting
01:03:19to do than play
01:03:19virtual depression.
01:03:21Ian hasn't been handling
01:03:23it very well, though.
01:03:24His depressing character
01:03:25took Oscar's
01:03:26cyber gin ration
01:03:27and has been drinking
01:03:27it ever since.
01:03:29Last night his character
01:03:29was up on disorderly
01:03:30conduct charges.
01:03:32Oh, and James,
01:03:34who you haven't met,
01:03:35he was also unable
01:03:36to come.
01:03:37What was that?
01:03:38Well, he got drunk
01:03:38at a party last night
01:03:39and can't find his clothes.
01:03:42Oh, here's Jermaine.
01:03:44Jermaine.
01:03:45Good.
01:03:46You dressed up warm.
01:03:47I forgot to mention that.
01:03:49Where are we going?
01:03:50Here, put these on.
01:03:53Is that a gun?
01:03:55I guess we're going
01:03:55in the production van.
01:04:00Is that a gun?
01:04:03Coffee?
01:04:06Adley Unsworth.
01:04:23Mr. McKenzie.
01:04:25Howard.
01:04:27What can I do for you?
01:04:29Yep.
01:04:30I actually suggested
01:04:31that to Anne yesterday,
01:04:32but she rejected the idea.
01:04:35Yeah.
01:04:35Yeah.
01:04:36Well, what can you do?
01:04:40Yeah, I'd be delighted.
01:04:43Do you want to tell her
01:04:44or I want to do it myself?
01:04:46Fine.
01:04:47I'm sure you know best.
01:04:48All right.
01:04:49See you tonight.
01:04:51What's up?
01:04:54Nothing.
01:04:56Anne.
01:04:57Howard has got a couple
01:04:59of amendments
01:04:59for today's script.
01:05:01He wants Randall and Jermaine
01:05:02to break up
01:05:03in the last scene.
01:05:04Someone is going
01:05:06to die!
01:05:18So, we're here
01:05:20to shoot ducks?
01:05:22Yep.
01:05:23Damn.
01:05:30So, how do you feel
01:05:31about that, Jermaine?
01:05:33Randall likes to kill ducks.
01:05:39Frighten away the ducks.
01:05:40Your voice is too gruff.
01:05:41They'll think you're a dog.
01:05:44So, Randall,
01:05:45you like killing things.
01:05:48May I remind you
01:05:48that I'm the one
01:05:49holding the gun?
01:05:50The only voice
01:05:52that I want to hear
01:05:53other than my own
01:05:53is Jermaine's.
01:05:56After all,
01:05:57this is our date.
01:06:00Dan.
01:06:25So, do you do this often?
01:06:28Yep.
01:06:28Damn.
01:06:35Why do you do this?
01:06:38Because
01:06:38my friends are into it.
01:06:45Damn.
01:06:46Have they ever
01:06:47had anything?
01:06:49Well,
01:06:51Oscar once
01:06:52shot a possum,
01:06:53but he was aiming
01:06:55for a duck.
01:06:57And
01:06:58James shot
01:06:59Warwick
01:07:00that he was
01:07:02also aiming
01:07:02for a duck.
01:07:07Damn.
01:07:08Who's
01:07:09Warwick?
01:07:11Well,
01:07:11he was my best friend.
01:07:19Damn.
01:07:20So why do you
01:07:21go out shooting
01:07:22then?
01:07:26Well,
01:07:27Warwick was
01:07:28into it.
01:07:36I understand,
01:07:37Randall.
01:07:38Damn.
01:07:39You poor thing.
01:07:40this is the only way
01:07:42you feel close
01:07:43to your dead friend.
01:07:45You're missing the ducks
01:07:46on purpose,
01:07:47aren't you?
01:07:48You've got to be
01:07:49kidding me.
01:07:51Yes.
01:07:52Yeah,
01:07:53that's right.
01:07:55I'm
01:07:55missing the ducks
01:07:57on purpose.
01:07:58Damn.
01:08:07Remember,
01:08:08we need them
01:08:09to break up.
01:08:10Piece of piss.
01:08:11I made my parents
01:08:12break up.
01:08:12I can certainly
01:08:13make these two
01:08:13break up.
01:08:17To be
01:08:17in a relationship
01:08:18or not to be
01:08:20in a relationship,
01:08:21that
01:08:23is the question.
01:08:25Whether
01:08:25tis no...
01:08:26Can we get on
01:08:27with it, please?
01:08:29Five dates.
01:08:31Is that a record,
01:08:31Randall?
01:08:32No.
01:08:35No.
01:08:37So where do
01:08:38things stand now?
01:08:39After five dates
01:08:41with Jermaine,
01:08:42do you really
01:08:43want some more?
01:08:45Do you really
01:08:45think you can
01:08:46get some more?
01:08:47How's your opinion
01:08:48of Jermaine
01:08:49changed
01:08:50since you met?
01:08:52I don't really
01:08:53know where to start.
01:08:54I've just come
01:08:54for my stuff.
01:08:56I think Jermaine's
01:08:57great.
01:08:58We've had a few
01:08:59ups and downs.
01:09:01Well, maybe
01:09:01one of each.
01:09:02But then what
01:09:03couple doesn't?
01:09:04We've had some
01:09:05laughs, at least
01:09:06four of them.
01:09:07Five if you
01:09:08count my phone
01:09:08anecdotes.
01:09:10Jermaine understands
01:09:11me like nobody
01:09:12ever has.
01:09:13She accepts me
01:09:14for who I am.
01:09:16So what you're
01:09:16saying is that
01:09:17you want to keep
01:09:18on going, at least
01:09:19until you've had
01:09:20sex.
01:09:21Hey, now, hang on.
01:09:22those are your
01:09:22words, not mine.
01:09:24And for your
01:09:25information, Jermaine
01:09:26and I...
01:09:27Hold on a minute,
01:09:29that didn't actually
01:09:30happen.
01:09:30What didn't happen?
01:09:32Nothing.
01:09:34And how about you,
01:09:35Jermaine?
01:09:36How low are your
01:09:37standards?
01:09:39Do you really want
01:09:40to stay with Randy?
01:09:41Leave him alone,
01:09:42dud.
01:09:42For your information,
01:09:43he's one of the
01:09:44sweetest guys I've
01:09:44ever met.
01:09:46I am?
01:09:46He shares my
01:09:47world of view.
01:09:49I do?
01:09:49He gave the
01:09:50biggest financial
01:09:51contribution to the
01:09:52Save the Koredere
01:09:53Stream Fund of any
01:09:54individual person.
01:09:55I did?
01:09:57I think I love him.
01:09:59He was cute.
01:10:01We had fun together
01:10:02on at least one of
01:10:03our dates.
01:10:04Yeah.
01:10:06You don't think
01:10:06he's a dork?
01:10:08No, Dudley, I
01:10:09don't.
01:10:10Anne, I think we're
01:10:10done here.
01:10:11You've had your
01:10:11interview.
01:10:12Jermaine, we'll get
01:10:13out of you here in
01:10:13five minutes, but
01:10:14could you do me a
01:10:15small favour?
01:10:16We kind of need
01:10:17you two to break
01:10:18up, so could you
01:10:19pretend, just act
01:10:20like you hate each
01:10:21other for a couple
01:10:21of minutes?
01:10:22Get fucked!
01:10:23We've fulfilled our
01:10:24obligation, this is
01:10:25over!
01:10:25Hey, when is this
01:10:26going to screen?
01:10:27Because I should
01:10:27ring my mother and
01:10:28tell her if she's
01:10:29still talking to me.
01:10:30I don't know.
01:10:31Mackenzie's not
01:10:32going to be happy
01:10:32with this.
01:10:33The soonest will
01:10:34be December, maybe
01:10:35next year.
01:10:36What?
01:10:37What's that?
01:10:38The Parahehe Dam
01:10:39will dry up the
01:10:40Koredere in November.
01:10:41It'll be dead and dry
01:10:43before the screens.
01:10:44Well, thank God we
01:10:45got that footage
01:10:46then, eh?
01:10:46Yeah, whatever.
01:10:50Slap!
01:10:53Howard, talk to me.
01:10:57Hey, that's great
01:10:59news.
01:11:00Yeah, well, if that's
01:11:02the way you want it to
01:11:02end, then I think
01:11:04we're done here.
01:11:05You're going to be
01:11:06very pleased with what
01:11:08we've got.
01:11:11Sure.
01:11:13Can I tell her?
01:11:15Thanks.
01:11:16Anne, you're fired.
01:11:18What?
01:11:19What the fuck?
01:11:21Howard thinks that
01:11:22you're too objective.
01:11:23It's clouding your
01:11:24judgement.
01:11:25I'll be taking over
01:11:25for the editing.
01:11:27Yep.
01:11:29Sure.
01:11:31I'm looking forward
01:11:32to it.
01:11:33Shall I put her on?
01:11:35All right.
01:11:38Hey, Dad.
01:11:40That was quick.
01:11:42Can I be the
01:11:43bridesmaid?
01:11:43That felt real good.
01:11:45I want more.
01:11:46Anyone for lemon tea?
01:11:48It's very soothing.
01:11:49Hey, you there,
01:11:50coffee boy.
01:11:51You're fired.
01:11:53What?
01:11:55Why?
01:11:56I don't quite
01:11:57follow you, Dad.
01:11:58I won't get angry.
01:11:59I won't give you
01:12:00the satisfaction.
01:12:02Anne, there is no
01:12:03need to be melodramatic.
01:12:04Howard wants the story
01:12:05to end with them
01:12:06together.
01:12:07We've got what we want.
01:12:08You'll still get a
01:12:09credit.
01:12:10You want us to
01:12:11what?
01:12:12Can I still put this
01:12:13on my CV?
01:12:14No.
01:12:15You fucking
01:12:16asshole!
01:12:17You do not decide
01:12:18who I date.
01:12:18What do you think
01:12:19this is, the fucking
01:12:20Middle Ages?
01:12:21I wouldn't date
01:12:21Dudley if he was
01:12:22in a boy band.
01:12:26Randall,
01:12:28Jermaine never
01:12:28got you that phone.
01:12:30She wanted to
01:12:31get you a rock.
01:12:33I thought you
01:12:34might like to know
01:12:34that.
01:12:36You are
01:12:36something else,
01:12:38Dudley.
01:12:38Yeah, in control.
01:12:40Speaking of which,
01:12:40I want a coffee.
01:12:42A rock.
01:12:43I was
01:12:43when caught in it
01:12:44there.
01:12:44You didn't get
01:12:44me the phone.
01:12:45I thought they
01:12:46were joking.
01:12:47Erin,
01:12:47coffee boy
01:12:48seems to quit.
01:12:49I wonder if
01:12:50you'd like to
01:12:50do the honours,
01:12:51eh, love?
01:12:51Get fucked,
01:12:52Dudley.
01:12:53The only person
01:12:54I make coffee
01:12:54for is Pete.
01:12:55They'd go with
01:12:56a puppet before
01:12:56taking you back
01:12:57on the news.
01:12:58You suck so
01:12:59badly.
01:13:00You got turned
01:13:00down for reading
01:13:01the numbers
01:13:01on Daily Keno.
01:13:02Pete.
01:13:03I don't even
01:13:03make myself
01:13:04coffee.
01:13:05Oh, look,
01:13:05everyone,
01:13:06calm down.
01:13:07We got what
01:13:08we wanted.
01:13:08Jermaine and
01:13:09Randall are still
01:13:09together, so
01:13:10why don't we
01:13:11just sum up,
01:13:12leave them alone,
01:13:13and maybe we can
01:13:14get a coffee
01:13:14down the road.
01:13:16Jermaine,
01:13:17Randall only
01:13:17donated five bucks
01:13:18so you'll save
01:13:19the stream thing.
01:13:20My dad did the
01:13:21rest to try and
01:13:21get you two
01:13:22together.
01:13:22You didn't donate
01:13:23$500?
01:13:24Are you kidding?
01:13:25If I had that
01:13:26kind of disposable
01:13:27income, I'd be
01:13:27buying phones.
01:13:28and where the
01:13:30fuck do you get
01:13:31off arranging
01:13:32with my dad
01:13:33for us to date?
01:13:34I think you're
01:13:34overreacting,
01:13:35Violet.
01:13:36He just wanted
01:13:36to see us on
01:13:37the cover of
01:13:37the women's bags.
01:13:38You know,
01:13:38new celebrity
01:13:39couple.
01:13:40Don't think
01:13:40it was anything
01:13:40more than that.
01:13:41It would be
01:13:42very good
01:13:42for our careers.
01:13:43At what point
01:13:44in your mental
01:13:44process did you
01:13:45think I'd
01:13:46haul myself
01:13:46for your career?
01:13:47I mean,
01:13:48do you really
01:13:48think I'd give
01:13:48a fuck if you'd
01:13:49do anything
01:13:50but advertise
01:13:50Fleepad for
01:13:51the rest of
01:13:52your life?
01:13:54Only hands
01:13:55worth here at
01:13:56the end of
01:13:56a remarkable start
01:13:58to a relationship.
01:13:59Randall and
01:14:00Jermaine are
01:14:01in love.
01:14:01Randall,
01:14:02Jermaine was
01:14:02never really
01:14:03interested in you.
01:14:04She was just
01:14:04trying to get on
01:14:05air to make
01:14:05a political point.
01:14:07She only actually
01:14:07started liking you
01:14:08when you started
01:14:09trying to make
01:14:10her break up
01:14:10with you.
01:14:11She doesn't
01:14:12accept you
01:14:12for who you
01:14:13are and does
01:14:13not understand
01:14:14your love of
01:14:15phones.
01:14:16Jermaine,
01:14:17Randall wants
01:14:18you to be his
01:14:18mother.
01:14:19He doesn't share
01:14:19your world view
01:14:20and was trying
01:14:21to get you to
01:14:22dump him at
01:14:23the river.
01:14:24He really
01:14:25does love
01:14:25phones and
01:14:26he's never
01:14:26intentionally made
01:14:27you love.
01:14:28Every time
01:14:29you've laughed
01:14:29at something
01:14:30he's said,
01:14:30he's been
01:14:31dead serious.
01:14:32Now,
01:14:32I don't mean
01:14:33to be cruel
01:14:34and I think
01:14:35the two of you
01:14:36will make good
01:14:36friends but I
01:14:37just wanted
01:14:38you to know.
01:14:41I think I
01:14:42should go.
01:14:44Sorry,
01:14:45Randall,
01:14:45I'm sure you'll
01:14:46meet someone
01:14:47who's right
01:14:47for you.
01:14:48who's right.
01:14:49You bitch.
01:14:53I said I
01:14:55wanted coffee.
01:14:56I could make
01:14:56things very
01:14:57difficult for you
01:14:57professionally.
01:14:58Get out!
01:14:59All of you,
01:15:00get out of my
01:15:01house.
01:15:02You guys have
01:15:03ruined my life.
01:15:04I'm alone.
01:15:05I'm unemployed.
01:15:07One friend's
01:15:08disappeared,
01:15:08the other one's
01:15:09suicidal.
01:15:10My mother won't
01:15:11even speak to me.
01:15:13I never want to see
01:15:13any of you
01:15:14again in my
01:15:14life.
01:15:15Get out of my
01:15:15house before I
01:15:16call the police.
01:15:20I need to call
01:15:21my mother.
01:15:38I think that's
01:15:39the least of my
01:15:40worries.
01:15:42Point that thing
01:15:43is left out of
01:15:43my head.
01:15:45You mean lady.
01:15:51I suppose
01:15:53there's really
01:15:53only one thing
01:15:54left for me to do.
01:16:13I'm not out of
01:16:24my heart.
01:16:26I know.
01:16:26I know.
01:16:27I know.
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