BoJack Horseman Season 2 Episode 1, titled “Brand New Couch,” premiered in 2015 as the official launch of the show's second season. Produced by Tornante Company and ShadowMachine for Netflix, this acclaimed adult animated dramedy continues exploring BoJack’s personal crises, emotional setbacks, and his attempts to rebuild his public image after the release of his memoir. The series is created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg, with character design by Lisa Hanawalt, and features a blend of dark humor, psychological depth, and industry satire.
In this Season 2 opener, BoJack tries to reinvent himself by adopting a new positive attitude inspired by the self-help book “One Trick Pony.” He becomes determined to improve his life, framing the purchase of an entirely new couch as a symbolic fresh start, even as his past struggles and unhealthy patterns continue to resurface. At the same time, the episode reintroduces supporting characters such as Princess Carolyn, still juggling agency stress; Todd, embarking on strange side ventures; Diane, wrestling with her own direction in life; and Mr. Peanutbutter, maintaining his boundless optimism in the entertainment industry.
This episode sets the tone for the season’s deeper examination of identity, change, emotional labor, and the difficulty of escaping self-destructive behaviors. Season 2 consists of 12 episodes total, each contributing to BoJack’s complex character arc and the series’ exploration of fame, trauma, relationships, and personal accountability.
Key characters appearing in the episode include BoJack Horseman, Princess Carolyn, Diane Nguyen, Todd Chavez, Mr. Peanutbutter, Herb Kazzaz (flashback mentions), and supporting figures within BoJack’s professional world. The animation continues the distinctive visual and narrative style that has made the series internationally recognized for blending comedy with emotional realism.
This upload offers a polished, high-quality viewing experience designed for global audiences searching for full episodes, character-driven storytelling, and modern adult animation. With strong emotional writing, clever satire, and character depth, “Brand New Couch” serves as an essential starting point for Season 2’s overarching themes and narrative progression.
#BoJackHorseman #BrandNewCouch #BoJack #PrincessCarolyn #DianeNguyen #ToddChavez #MrPeanutbutter #AdultAnimation #AnimatedComedy #AnimatedDrama #DarkComedy #NetflixAnimation #Animation2015 #Season2Episode1 #S2E1 #AdultCartoon #ComedyDrama #CharacterDrivenStory #EmotionalComedy #SatireAnimation #HollywoodSatire #CelebritySatire #AnimatedSeriesHD #FullEpisodeHD #PsychologicalComedy #CharacterArc #EmotionalStorytelling #NarrativeDepth #AnimatedCharacters #AnimationFans #StoryRichAnimation #DramedySeries #ExistentialComedy #AnimatedAntihero #VoiceActingCast #WillArnett #AmySedaris #AlisonBrie #AaronPaul #PaulFTompkins #EmotionalThemes #ComplexCharacters #AnimatedPlot #StreamingAnimation #HDAnimation #EmotionalJourney #Modern
In this Season 2 opener, BoJack tries to reinvent himself by adopting a new positive attitude inspired by the self-help book “One Trick Pony.” He becomes determined to improve his life, framing the purchase of an entirely new couch as a symbolic fresh start, even as his past struggles and unhealthy patterns continue to resurface. At the same time, the episode reintroduces supporting characters such as Princess Carolyn, still juggling agency stress; Todd, embarking on strange side ventures; Diane, wrestling with her own direction in life; and Mr. Peanutbutter, maintaining his boundless optimism in the entertainment industry.
This episode sets the tone for the season’s deeper examination of identity, change, emotional labor, and the difficulty of escaping self-destructive behaviors. Season 2 consists of 12 episodes total, each contributing to BoJack’s complex character arc and the series’ exploration of fame, trauma, relationships, and personal accountability.
Key characters appearing in the episode include BoJack Horseman, Princess Carolyn, Diane Nguyen, Todd Chavez, Mr. Peanutbutter, Herb Kazzaz (flashback mentions), and supporting figures within BoJack’s professional world. The animation continues the distinctive visual and narrative style that has made the series internationally recognized for blending comedy with emotional realism.
This upload offers a polished, high-quality viewing experience designed for global audiences searching for full episodes, character-driven storytelling, and modern adult animation. With strong emotional writing, clever satire, and character depth, “Brand New Couch” serves as an essential starting point for Season 2’s overarching themes and narrative progression.
#BoJackHorseman #BrandNewCouch #BoJack #PrincessCarolyn #DianeNguyen #ToddChavez #MrPeanutbutter #AdultAnimation #AnimatedComedy #AnimatedDrama #DarkComedy #NetflixAnimation #Animation2015 #Season2Episode1 #S2E1 #AdultCartoon #ComedyDrama #CharacterDrivenStory #EmotionalComedy #SatireAnimation #HollywoodSatire #CelebritySatire #AnimatedSeriesHD #FullEpisodeHD #PsychologicalComedy #CharacterArc #EmotionalStorytelling #NarrativeDepth #AnimatedCharacters #AnimationFans #StoryRichAnimation #DramedySeries #ExistentialComedy #AnimatedAntihero #VoiceActingCast #WillArnett #AmySedaris #AlisonBrie #AaronPaul #PaulFTompkins #EmotionalThemes #ComplexCharacters #AnimatedPlot #StreamingAnimation #HDAnimation #EmotionalJourney #Modern
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Short filmTranscript
00:01This is from BoJack H. BoJack is nine years old.
00:05When I grow up, I want to be just like you, and I think I'm on the right track.
00:09Get it? Track? Because horses run on tracks, and you are a horse, and I am a horse.
00:13Do you get it? Do you get my joke about the track?
00:16Okay, there's a whole page of this.
00:18Should I write him back and tell him I get it?
00:20He goes on. My question for you is, I am a good kid, and I like to play, and I like to go to school.
00:25Sometimes I get sad. What do you do when you get sad?
00:29Oh, big stud running off to gallivant with your fillies.
00:33Is that supposed to impress me? Because I can smash a dinner plate, too.
00:37That's a salad plate, you peasant.
00:39What? I thought these were the salad plates.
00:41Those are saucers.
00:42Why do we even have saucers? We don't drink tea.
00:46Those saucers are for entertaining.
00:48Oh, yeah? Well, I'm exit-taining. Do you get it?
00:54But, uh, seriously, folks. Right?
00:59Don't sit so close to the TV. It'll make you cruel.
01:05You know, I was beautiful before I got pregnant.
01:09I know.
01:11You ruined me, Bojack.
01:13I know.
01:14You better grow up to be something great. To make up for all the damage you've done.
01:19I will.
01:23Okay. Enough me being a great mom. I'm gonna go hide your father's heart medication.
01:28Enjoy your dumb little TV show.
01:58Okay, let me read later, then.
01:59Come on.
02:00I should go.
02:01Are you still here on our phone TV show?
02:26The first thing is, you gotta believe that change is possible.
02:32You have to tell yourself every day, I can change and I will change.
02:37I can change and I will change.
02:40Louder.
02:41I can change and I will change.
02:43I still can't hear you.
02:45You're an audio book.
02:46I've got a brand new attitude.
02:48That's what your face should be saying to everyone you pass on the street.
02:53We call that the pants approach.
02:55P-A-N-T-S.
02:58People all need to see.
03:00People all need to see.
03:02Yeah, little to the right.
03:04No, house right.
03:05That's an acting term.
03:06It means left.
03:07I'm an actor.
03:12No.
03:13Oh Jack, why did I wake up in an alley?
03:16I had to get rid of the old couch, Todd.
03:18While I was sleeping on it?
03:20The couch was a metaphor for my old attitude.
03:22My audio book told me I had to let go of the burdens of my life sofa.
03:25Oh, you know what?
03:26Maybe it was my life so far.
03:28I still feel like you could have woke me up first.
03:30Todd, no one can wake anybody else up.
03:32You need to wake yourself up.
03:35I don't know if I trust this new guy.
03:37You know, I'm just gonna go sleep in your car.
03:39Uh-oh, I think someone needs a fab.
03:41A fab?
03:42F-A-B.
03:43Stands for fresh act of B-N-A.
03:44B-N-A?
03:45Brand new attitude, Todd.
03:46Try to keep up.
03:47Attitude stands for attention to...
03:48Did you also get rid of my stuff?
03:50Where's my duffel bag?
03:51I value you.
03:52Hashtag thank you for being a friend.
03:54Hashtag pants.
03:58You gotta conquer that hill.
04:00The hill is a metaphor.
04:02Everything is a metaphor.
04:04You are literally a metaphor.
04:07Oh, my God.
04:08Oh, my God.
04:09This is the worst.
04:10This feels awful.
04:11Why does anybody run?
04:13On your right.
04:17And she had no idea that her boyfriend was the strangler.
04:22I guess some people just see what they want to see.
04:24Right, Vincent?
04:25Um...
04:26Yeah!
04:27Hey, Princess Carolyn!
04:28I gotta go.
04:29One of my dumbass clients is here.
04:31Just out for a jog.
04:32Thought I'd say hello.
04:33I jog now.
04:34You jogged here from Laurel Canyon.
04:36Well, I drove here.
04:37But I moved my arm a bunch.
04:38So the Fitbit counted the miles.
04:39Uh, someone named Bojark Hoosman is here.
04:43Thank you, Stuart.
04:44Also, your coffee is coming late.
04:46Just like you ordered.
04:47I said latte.
04:49Oh.
04:50Well, I wrote down late.
04:51So...
04:52So it's gonna be...
04:53What happened to Laura?
04:54Assistants are like Belushi brothers.
04:56The good ones leave too soon and the bad ones never go away.
04:59It's a beautiful day though, right?
05:00Every morning is a miracle.
05:02Hashtag miracle.
05:03Hashtag every morning.
05:04Hashtag every morning is a miracle.
05:06Hashtag Bojack thoughts.
05:07Well, I'm glad you found your bliss, Bojack.
05:09But are you ready for your first day on set tomorrow?
05:11You mean am I amped?
05:12Because I am so pumped.
05:14This Secretariat movie is a big deal.
05:17Please do not blow it.
05:19Why would I blow it?
05:20I have a brand new attitude.
05:22You know, when I won that Golden Globe last month, I went to a very dark place.
05:26I was in a hole and I realized I can wallow in this hole or I can change.
05:31And while I was tempted to go with the former, sometimes the only way out of a hole is a ladder.
05:36No pun intended.
05:37You clearly intended that pun.
05:39Princess Carolyn, you gotta believe in the AHP of TPE.
05:42Huh?
05:43Uh-uh.
05:44I'm not asking.
05:45The awesome healing power.
05:46I am not asking.
05:47A total positive energy.
05:48Yeah, you should probably leave because I'm about to pretend to get a phone call.
05:52Hello?
05:53No, he's still here.
05:55No, he's not taking the hint somehow.
05:57Mm-hmm.
06:00Honey, where's my bandana?
06:03You chewed it up, but we had to throw it away, remember?
06:06No, not that one.
06:08The one with the bones on it.
06:09With the meat juice stains.
06:11The one I wore to the Emmys.
06:12I don't know.
06:13I gotta go.
06:14BoJack's gonna be here any minute.
06:15Did you check the hall closet?
06:17I can't see anything in this stupid thing.
06:20I know, Mr. Peanutbutter, but the doctor says you gotta keep it on for one more week.
06:28I look like an idiot.
06:30You look very responsible.
06:32Is the bandana doing anything?
06:36Hey, your work buddy.
06:38First day on the job, huh?
06:39Hashtag great day to start fresh at a new job.
06:41Sincerely, BoJack.
06:42At Diane.
06:43Still can't believe you wanted to carpool.
06:45Gotta save the planet, Diane.
06:46Hey, is that BoJack Horseman?
06:48I really don't know because I have no peripheral vision.
06:50Going off of smell here, folks.
06:52Mr. Peanutbutter, how the hell are ya?
06:54Lovin' it, buddy.
06:55Lovin' life.
06:56Brother, I am right there with you.
06:57I got a brand new attitude, and I am also loving life.
07:00Uh...
07:01Diane, look at us.
07:02A couple life lovers over here.
07:04Uh...
07:05Is that a new cone?
07:06Lookin' sharp, PB.
07:07It is a new cone.
07:08Is it really obvious I'm wearing a cone?
07:10Didn't even notice, because you've got the smile of a winner.
07:13What's going on here?
07:14I have to wear the cone so I don't gnaw on the stitches I had to get when I punched a mirror last week.
07:19I got drunk and thought my reflection was another dog.
07:21I was so mad at that other dog.
07:24He was wearing my clothes.
07:26Hey, we've all been there, brother.
07:27I don't understand what's happening.
07:29Did someone just say something to the left of me?
07:31Diane, sweetheart, is that you?
07:32Hey, why don't we just us two sketch a hang for this kend?
07:35Kend is how I say weekend now.
07:37Uh, I love that.
07:38And I got a pair of ticks to the stone show this kend.
07:41Wanna go?
07:42The Rolling Stones?
07:43What?
07:44Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
07:45The mighty, mighty boss stones.
07:47You know, I'm not really familiar with that outfit, but I do love trying new things.
07:50Who are you?
07:52Anyway, we gotta get to work.
07:53It was really great talking to you, Mr. Peanutbutter.
07:56All right, break a leg, good buddy.
07:58Diane, Bojack's ready to go.
08:00Where are you, sweetheart?
08:01Are you ready?
08:03The house is a metaphor for a home.
08:06Happiness is a metaphor for change.
08:09Happiness is a metaphor for...
08:11Where are we going?
08:12Oh, my God.
08:18Bojack, this is Corduroy Jackson Jackson, your co-star.
08:22Hey, man.
08:23Corduroy Jackson Jackson.
08:25Oh, right.
08:26The underwear guy.
08:27Underwear model slash actor slash dancer slash dreamer.
08:32Also, you know, I'm a huge fan.
08:33I'm so excited.
08:34Slash ant slash punk to be working with you.
08:37Yeah.
08:38Hey, man.
08:39That's fantastic.
08:40Slash great.
08:41Slash I ran out of things.
08:43Hi, Kelsey Jannings?
08:44That depends.
08:45Are you my ex-wife's lawyer?
08:46I'm Diane.
08:47I'm here to be a character consultant.
08:50What?
08:51I got a call from the studio.
08:52They said that...
08:53Yeah.
08:54Okay.
08:55Why don't you stand over there and make sure no one trips over that cable?
08:57This cable?
08:58Do you have $1,000 for me?
08:59What?
09:00Because each minute I spend talking to you, that's how much money I'm wasting.
09:04Oh, sorry.
09:05Hey, who's this guy?
09:06Who let this guy in?
09:07He's got a real funny face.
09:08I like your face, guy.
09:10What a cute funny face.
09:11You want a cookie?
09:12Can someone give this guy a cookie?
09:13He's got a very soothing face and I like looking at it.
09:15It's like a Matisse people.
09:16Whoa.
09:17Guys, guys, can I get everyone's attention, please?
09:19Oh, watch out for the cable.
09:21Don't trip over the cable.
09:22I just want everyone to know what an honor it is to be here.
09:25Secretariat has always been a personal hero of mine.
09:28It's a complex role that requires a precise touch and a deft hand and I...
09:32I just can't wait to tackle it head on.
09:34It's truly an honor.
09:36Namaste.
09:40Neat.
09:41So in this scene, Secretariat's at his lowest.
09:43He just lost his first race.
09:45His father was sent to the glue factory.
09:47It's a dark moment.
09:49You got it.
09:50Scene 22 Alpha, take one.
09:55Action!
09:56Hey, Secretariat.
10:01What are you doing here?
10:07What a...
10:10Eugh.
10:14Hello?
10:15Daya!
10:16I can't tell you how disappointed I am you're not here with me in Northern Cordovia.
10:21I'm incredibly disappointed.
10:23Boo!
10:24I didn't think I could do it, but I did it!
10:27I'm amazing.
10:29Sebastian, I know you're doing important work, but I couldn't just drop everything and fly
10:33to the third world.
10:34I just got married and...
10:35Diane!
10:36People are dying and I'm witnessing it!
10:38And I need people to witness me witnessing it!
10:41I know.
10:42I know.
10:43And I'll be there in three months.
10:44As soon as I'm done on the movie.
10:46This is also important.
10:48In a way.
10:49Well, lucky for you, there'll still be just as much famine and war and devastation in three months.
10:56I'm not dead yet.
10:57Yep.
10:58Lucky me.
10:59We're still rolling, people!
11:00So, Bojack, in this scene, Secretariat is sad, right?
11:03He's afraid he's gonna lose his scholarship.
11:05Oh, sure.
11:06Yep.
11:07Sad, of course.
11:08Duh.
11:09Okay, here we go.
11:10Action!
11:11Hey, Secretariat.
11:12What are you doing here?
11:15Well, that was bad.
11:16I know that was bad.
11:17Let's just keep it rolling.
11:18I'll say when to keep rolling.
11:20Okay.
11:21What are you doing here?
11:22Did we get it?
11:23I can tell by your face that we didn't get it.
11:24All right.
11:25Let me try again.
11:26What are you doing?
11:27I'm sorry.
11:28I am having trouble with the words.
11:29Is it okay if I play around with it a little bit?
11:31When did you get here?
11:33Sorry.
11:34No.
11:35Got it.
11:36Got it.
11:37Man, these lights are bright, huh?
11:38Can we kill these lights at all?
11:39Is that a...
11:40No.
11:41Okay.
11:42I'm sad.
11:43I'm sad acting sad.
11:44Secretariat is sad.
11:45Okay.
11:46Here we go.
11:47I'm sad.
11:48Sorry.
11:49What was the line?
11:50I don't know if this helps or not.
11:51But when Secretariat was a kid, he actually...
11:54Ah!
11:55Ah!
11:56Ah!
11:57Oh, my God!
11:58Oh, no!
11:59Hey, hey!
12:00Look out!
12:01Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
12:02Oh, my God!
12:03My face!
12:04My pitiful face!
12:06Why didn't someone tell me not to trip over that cable?
12:09It was such an important job, but no one was there to do it!
12:14And now my face is ruined!
12:16Okay.
12:17We're gonna need a couple of days to rebuild the set.
12:19So let's all just use this time to regroup and really figure out what we're doing and why
12:26we're here.
12:34So let me get this straight.
12:36Bad means good.
12:38Maybe you should leave the Teen Talk to me, Jeezy Kableezy.
12:42Well, it wasn't Ibsen.
12:49That's your takeaway?
12:50That your son's TV show wasn't Ibsen?
12:53I'm sorry.
12:54Did you need a compliment?
12:55That's...
12:56Oh, I love the part where you got your head caught in the banister.
12:59Yeah.
13:00Oh, and what's this letter I have?
13:01It's from the government saying, I'm proud of you.
13:04Are you...
13:05Oh, no.
13:06No, actually what I'm holding is nothing.
13:07Excuse me.
13:08Can you check on our drinks?
13:09I would love some gin right now.
13:10I wouldn't drink anything out of an open container.
13:12This town is full of AIDS.
13:14Well, that's not...
13:15You're a clown.
13:16You know that?
13:17And you've always been a wonderful pillar of support.
13:18Gin, please.
13:19Is there gin coming?
13:20I'm here, aren't I?
13:21I suffered through that ordeal.
13:22You know, the man sitting next to me was wearing a t-shirt.
13:25A t-shirt, Bojack, in the theater.
13:28Yes, a t-shirt.
13:29That is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone in a theater.
13:32The t-shirt told me to just do it.
13:35Here we go.
13:36I don't know to what it the t-shirt referred, but I will not be spoken to in that tone by an article of clothing.
13:41Vodka, triple sec, looking for any alcohol.
13:43You don't know how lucky you are to have me.
13:45I hope you die before I do, so you never have to know what it's like to lose a mother.
13:49Well, as long as one of us dies, that's good enough for me.
13:51Can we please get some alcohol into my mouth?
13:56The past is past.
13:58That's why it's called the past.
14:01Tomorrow is an opportunity.
14:03You can be big and proud and bang on your tom-tom drum.
14:07Or you can get in your boat and row.
14:10Tom or row tomorrow.
14:14Hey, do you want to talk?
14:16Talk? Why? Why would we do that?
14:17So you can put everything we talk about in a book and sell a million copies?
14:20Wow.
14:21Uh...
14:22Sorry, that's what the old me would have said.
14:23The new me doesn't hold a grudge.
14:25No.
14:26I gotta say, the new you seems a little on edge.
14:29What? Me? I'm as cool as the Fonz in a meat locker.
14:32That's a metaphor, Diane.
14:34Actually, it's a simile.
14:35Goddammit!
14:36Oh, okay. Hello?
14:38Hello?
14:39Hey, small talk, small talk, small talk.
14:40Are you blowing it?
14:41I heard you're blowing it.
14:42What? Who told you that? Was it Todd?
14:44Todd!
14:45You gotta turn the ship around, Boge.
14:46If you don't...
14:47Hey, can you hold on a second, sweetheart?
14:49I'm getting another call.
14:50What?
14:51Well, if it isn't my friend, Rutabaga, the boy prince of the 26th floor.
14:55Caroline! How are things all the way up on 27?
14:59Stump once for good, twice for killing it!
15:03Killin'...
15:05Give me some gossip.
15:07My wife is making me go to the opera tonight,
15:09and I need someone to distract me from the thought of a bunch of D-bags
15:12singing songs in German about their boners.
15:14Okay, you gotta keep this close to the vest,
15:16but I am inches from getting Emily Van Camp,
15:20the lead in Goose Van Sant's new movie about Jackie O.
15:24My clients would fa-ha, la-ha, eep if I got them parts like that.
15:29You were seriously killin' it in the department of kickin' ass
15:32in regards to you being an agent and being good at it,
15:34vis-a-vis crushing it.
15:35Well, you're not so bad yourself, Rutabaga, for a 26-er.
15:38You are the only one in this building who isn't a total snooze-cooze.
15:42Yes, Natasha! I'm talkin' about you! I know you're listening!
15:46Ugh, I gotta go. I made Natasha cry.
15:51Yeah, I don't think she's coming back to this call.
15:53Uh, could we keep it down in the front, please?
15:57What am I gonna do?
15:58Well, you were an actor for nine years on Horsin' Around.
16:01How did you do that?
16:02Uh...
16:04Hey, Herb, can I talk to you for a minute?
16:06Of course, buddy! I always have time for you,
16:08my good friend Bojack, in this, the year 1988.
16:11Have a seat.
16:13Hey! Enough with the stomping already!
16:16Am I... am I a clown?
16:19Oh, brother.
16:20Didn't I tell you not to invite your mom to the taping?
16:23As Max Headroom would say,
16:25your m-m-m-mom is a b-b-b-b-bitch!
16:28But I am a good actor, right?
16:30BJ, I don't know.
16:32Look, I...
16:33You know what you're good at?
16:35Hitting your mark
16:36and saying your lines loudly with good diction.
16:39But should I be doing more
16:40to capture the character
16:41and make the audience connect to his feelings?
16:43This is a situation comedy!
16:44No one watches this show to feel feelings!
16:47Life is depressing enough already!
16:49You bring joy to millions of people!
16:51Maybe, someday later,
16:53you'll need to learn how to act for real,
16:55but for now...
16:57Don't worry about it!
16:59Oh, shit.
17:00I'm not an actor.
17:02All this time,
17:03I assumed there was more to me
17:04than everyone thought.
17:06But maybe there isn't.
17:08That's the part
17:09where you're supposed to disagree with me!
17:11Oh, right!
17:12Well, you got the part, didn't you?
17:14What did you do in the audition?
17:16Well, how should I know?
17:17That was the old me!
17:18Now I've got a brand-new attitude!
17:21Oh, God.
17:22Okay, okay.
17:23What should I do?
17:24Make a break for it?
17:26Drive to Mexico?
17:27Start a new life there?
17:28Meet a local girl?
17:29Fall in love?
17:30Talk my way into a line job
17:31at a textile plant?
17:32Gradually work my way up
17:33until I own the place?
17:34No, what am I talking about?
17:35I can't run a textile plant!
17:36That's way too much responsibility!
17:38Oh, what am I gonna do?
17:39The walls are closing in!
17:40BoJack, breathe.
17:42You can do this.
17:43You have two days!
17:44Maybe you could...
17:45hire an acting coach.
17:46Yeah?
17:47Yeah!
17:48Plus, you can watch old secretariat videos.
17:50I've got a hard drive
17:51full of research.
17:52Yeah!
17:53Yeah, you're right!
17:54You're right!
17:55I can do this!
17:56I've got two whole days!
17:57And when the pressure's on,
17:58that's when I shine!
18:00Yeah!
18:01Two days!
18:02I can do all those things!
18:05Oh, shit!
18:06I didn't do any of those things!
18:11What are you doing here?
18:12That was it!
18:13Say that again!
18:14What are you doing here?
18:16No!
18:17Okay!
18:18BoJack!
18:19Before we get started today,
18:20I wanted to show you this.
18:21What is it?
18:22This is the machine
18:23that's gonna make you a good actor.
18:24Really?
18:25No, dummy.
18:26We just need to make a scan of your face
18:27so that if you die,
18:28we can finish the movie without you.
18:29What?
18:30Standard procedure these days,
18:31when your star is assessed
18:32to be of a certain liability,
18:33like, say,
18:34if there was a whole book
18:35written about what a reckless jackass he is,
18:37you make a digital replica of his head
18:39so you're not screwed
18:40if he goes all Belushi on you.
18:42Wait, which Belushi?
18:43Hold still, please.
18:46Terrific.
18:47We got it.
18:48You know, one day,
18:49that's gonna be the actor's whole job.
18:50Just sitting in a room
18:51for five seconds
18:52while a machine scans his face
18:53and then six months later
18:54plugging a movie on Kimmel.
18:55I gotta go on Kimmel now, too?
18:56What if he makes me read a mean tweet?
18:58I'm not emotionally prepared for that!
19:00Don't worry so much.
19:01If you can't do this part,
19:02we'll just fire you
19:03and get someone else who can.
19:04Either way, I'll be fine.
19:07What do you need?
19:08What do you need, Bojack?
19:10I don't know.
19:11I thought I wanted this,
19:12but now I'm feeling all this pressure.
19:13Do you think you made a mistake hiring me?
19:15I don't make mistakes, Bojack.
19:17I do the crossword in Sharpie,
19:18and I never learn the shortcut for undo.
19:20It's Command Z.
19:21Don't need it.
19:22Won't use it.
19:23I'm trying to have this brand new attitude,
19:24you know,
19:25be this better, more positive guy,
19:27but I just keep thinking about
19:28how this movie is my last shot at happiness.
19:30Well, Bojack, I hope this helps.
19:32I don't care if you are happy or not.
19:35You have a job to do.
19:38This guy again.
19:39I'm in love with this kid.
19:41I want to put you in my pocket.
19:42Oh, you're adorable.
19:44Aw.
19:48Hey, Diane, you're a writer, aren't you?
19:50Yes.
19:51Yes.
19:52I am a writer.
19:53What do you need?
19:54Can you write on a sign,
19:55watch out for cable?
19:56I know you were telling people that,
19:57but it's a really important job,
19:58and a sign is less likely to get distracted.
20:01Oh.
20:02Yeah.
20:03Okay.
20:04What are you doing here?
20:06What are you doing here?
20:07What are you doing here?
20:08What are you doing here?
20:09What are you doing here?
20:10So, I went a little overboard,
20:12and I made you two mixes.
20:14The first CD is all Mighty Mighty.
20:16The second CD is all of the Boss Tone's side projects
20:18and solo singles,
20:19so you can listen to it and imagine the band
20:21never took that hiatus in the mid-aughts
20:23when America briefly lost interest in ska.
20:25What?
20:26I don't have time for this.
20:27I don't want to listen to your music,
20:28and I don't want to hang out with you.
20:29Get the hell out of here.
20:30Oh, all right.
20:32You don't want to listen to the Boss Stones together.
20:34That's the impression that I get.
20:36Is it the impression that I get, though?
20:38Yes.
20:39That is the impression that you get.
20:40I see.
20:42Way to go, Mr. Peter Butter.
20:44Stupid move, mind you.
20:49Bojack, listen.
20:50I know you're scared,
20:52but it's gonna be okay.
20:54You gotta be strong.
20:55Yeah, but...
20:56You gotta rise to the occasion, okay?
20:58So what if the new couch is weird?
21:00Or lumpy?
21:01Uh, what?
21:02What are you gonna do?
21:03Just sleep in Bojack's car forever?
21:05Are you talking to me, or are you...
21:06Damn it!
21:07It's time to stop being a coward!
21:09It's time to go home
21:11and sleep on Bojack's couch!
21:14Hooray!
21:15Happy ending for Todd!
21:17Charlie Witherspoon, 28th floor agent!
21:30Charlie!
21:31Listen, I wanted to touch base about Emily's start date on Jackie O.
21:34Oh, yeah, uh, well, we got some new screen tests,
21:39and, uh, Goose decided to go in a different direction.
21:43Are you saying that Van Sant Camp wants to re-can on Van Camp?
21:46Because they can't!
21:47Uh...
21:48Charlie, you better get your client to change his mind,
21:51or I will walk up to the 28th floor...
21:53Uh, just kidding!
21:55Uh, I can't get to the phone right now!
21:57What?
21:58This is one of those answering machines!
22:00That sounds like it's Charlie talking,
22:03but it's actually just an answering machine.
22:05I know you're there, Charlie.
22:07Leave a message!
22:08I'm not gonna leave a message!
22:09Beep!
22:10Hey, Charlie!
22:11Princess Carolyn again!
22:12Listen!
22:13Mailbox is full!
22:14What? Mailbox full?
22:15Error!
22:16What?
22:17Message deleted!
22:18Gotta go! Bye!
22:23Carolyn!
22:25Brutapega, this is not a good time.
22:27Okay.
22:28Can I please just tell you about the opera, though?
22:30Mmm.
22:31How did you like the opera?
22:32I loved it!
22:34Loved Tristan, loved his soul to cry like a bunny!
22:37Listen, my brain has been a-buzzin' for the past few days,
22:40thinking about that Jackie O movie.
22:42I know it's your baby, but I did make a few phone calls
22:44and got my Rooney a screen test!
22:47I put that movie together for my client!
22:49Oh, no, no, no, no, don't, don't freak out!
22:51It's just a screen test!
22:52But honestly, how fantage would my Rooney be as a young Jackie Booth?
22:56Stomp once for so fantage, twice for stupid fantage!
23:01Carolyn, I only heard one stomp.
23:05Oh, Carolyn, I heart you! You're beautiful!
23:07I wish I met you before I got married!
23:08Peace!
23:09Ugh!
23:10You can do it!
23:12Only you hold the keys to the house that is you!
23:15The house is at the top of the hill.
23:18The hill is also you!
23:21Five minutes, Mr. Horseman.
23:23When you get your brand new attitude,
23:25you're gonna wave goodbye to the old-
23:28What do you want, Mom?
23:33Look who finally decided to pick up the phone.
23:36Do you need more blood?
23:37I don't need blood.
23:38I read your book, Bojack.
23:40Oh.
23:41It takes a real narcissist to think anyone wants to buy a book about him.
23:45You know how I feel about Anne Frank.
23:47That was a diary.
23:48I read the parts about me.
23:50The things I've said to you.
23:52You must think I'm a real monster.
23:55Mom.
23:56I don't wanna fight you, Bojack.
23:58I just wanted to tell you, I know.
24:01I know you wanna be happy, but you won't be, and...
24:05I'm sorry.
24:06What?
24:07It's not just you, you know.
24:10Your father and I, we...
24:12Well...
24:13You come by it honestly.
24:15The ugliness inside you.
24:17You were born broken.
24:19That's your birthright.
24:21And now you can fill your life with projects.
24:24You know, your books and your movies and your little girlfriends, but...
24:29Well, it won't make you whole.
24:31You're Bojack Horseman.
24:33There's no cure for that.
24:36Anyway...
24:38Do you remember who directed the Philadelphia story?
24:41Five letters, second letter U.
24:43Lubitsch?
24:45No, Bojack.
24:47Goodbye.
24:49You need to visualize it flying out the window over the...
25:02What are you doing here?
25:04Great. We got it. Let's move on.
25:07Back in the 90s, I was in a very famous TV show.
25:16I'm Bojack Horseman, Bojack Horseman.
25:20Don't act like you don't know.
25:25And I'm trying to hold on to my pants.
25:30It's been so long, I don't think I'm gonna last.
25:35I guess I was trying to make you understand.
25:39That I'm more horse than a man.
25:43Or I'm more man than a horse.
25:47Bojack.
25:48Bojack.
25:51Boxer versus Raptor.
25:53No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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