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Something Remote -Sd
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00:03:41Lisa
00:03:42Lissabredi
00:03:43Neden Eceola
00:03:44Bu ne çok çok hoş
00:03:45Bakayla
00:03:46Bakayla
00:03:47Bu ne
00:03:52Bir ayı
00:03:54Bu ne
00:03:55Bir
00:03:56Bir
00:03:57Bir
00:03:57Bir
00:03:59Bir
00:03:59Bir
00:04:00Bir
00:04:00Bir
00:04:01Bir
00:04:02Bir
00:04:02Bir
00:04:03Bir
00:04:03Bir
00:04:04Bir
00:04:05Bir
00:04:05Bir
00:04:06Bir
00:04:07Bir
00:04:08Bir
00:04:09Bir
00:04:09Bir
00:04:10İçerângı olan piękler.
00:04:14Ya?
00:04:15Evet, resimler.
00:04:17Ama lisayı ben de şimdi mi hafta.
00:04:19Ya, bunu birингdim.
00:04:20Peki, benim.
00:04:21Me?
00:04:22Evet, bu.
00:04:23Dalsam véi teprinikan mı?
00:04:24Sure.
00:04:29Ne?
00:04:33Scriştini mi?
00:04:34Oh, o ile çiftliğine bu.
00:04:35Yani.
00:04:37Ne?
00:04:38Örünü.
00:04:39Kıramı bir şeyamadın.
00:04:41Bu sizin bende bu sallamın.
00:04:43Biri?
00:04:44Tıra Conventioniz.
00:04:46Kızımın selamada.
00:04:47Bu ne?
00:04:49Tıra.
00:04:50Biri mi olay arriesteğiniz şeyle o...
00:04:52consegue сделать...
00:04:54İkört Cara?
00:04:56Biri.
00:04:57Biri.
00:05:00Nehane, 40.
00:05:04Şarkı eventual, en iyi günler.
00:05:06fullest.
00:05:07Bakın yani?
00:05:09Evet.
00:05:11Yani bu.
00:05:13Evet.
00:05:15ииue...
00:05:17Ne?
00:05:19Ya?
00:05:21Ne?!
00:05:23Ne?
00:05:25Ne?
00:05:27Eleurken...
00:05:29I.
00:05:31Erick, bu ne?
00:05:33Ah, you changed them!
00:05:34No, guys. I did it.
00:05:36And I did it.
00:05:37Ya, that's what I thought.
00:05:39Ya.
00:05:40Ya?
00:05:40Well, your windows are still made of glass.
00:05:43Our slovenlandlord isn't gonna fix that.
00:05:45Ya, neither are you.
00:05:46Hush, Eric.
00:05:47What are you even doing here?
00:05:48I, uh, came here for my stuff.
00:05:51Like what?
00:05:53Like, uh, my hammer.
00:05:55Hey!
00:05:56That's it, you're done, Lisa.
00:05:57I'm calling the cops.
00:05:58Oh, and my cell phone.
00:06:01Fine, just take it and get out of here, Lisa.
00:06:03Millal
00:06:09ond profits
00:06:11new
00:06:13difficulty
00:06:14alt
00:06:16SJ
00:06:17h obser
00:06:22yok
00:06:24ladies
00:06:25Apple
00:06:27hal
00:06:28im
00:06:29?!?!
00:06:30bu
00:06:32I really meant...
00:06:34...him.
00:06:36Hi.
00:06:38This is my brand new boyfriend.
00:06:42Isn't he?
00:06:44Fucking gross.
00:06:46Rugged.
00:06:48Oh yeah, if you're her new boyfriend, what's her name?
00:06:50Lisa, don't say a word.
00:06:52But Eric, shut up.
00:06:54Well? Hmm?
00:06:56Ha! See? I knew it.
00:06:58I was just happy she noticed me.
00:07:00How much did she pay you to do this?
00:07:02She gave me $40 to stay with her.
00:07:04Paying someone $40 to be their boyfriend?
00:07:06Now that's low.
00:07:08Well that's funny, cause Abby over here sure doesn't look like your girlfriend.
00:07:12Oh yeah? How do you figure?
00:07:14Well, first of all, a girl has to have some standards.
00:07:18Look at her, and look at you.
00:07:20Like trying to fit a small square peg into a round hole.
00:07:24And B, she doesn't smell like you.
00:07:28You were smelling me?
00:07:30That's it.
00:07:3240 bucks is not worth putting up with you freaks.
00:07:34Ha ha ha ha!
00:07:36Who's winning the limbo contest now?
00:07:38What?
00:07:40Just leave.
00:07:42Get going. Now.
00:07:44I'm not done with you, Neil.
00:07:46I'll be back for my stuff later.
00:07:48I doubt that, you crazy psycho bitch!
00:07:50What a waste of $40.
00:07:52I don't know, I uh, I think she wants you back.
00:07:54Why would you even say something like that?
00:07:56Yeah seriously, Eric. Why would you curse that upon him?
00:07:58He's better off now than ever.
00:08:00She doesn't want me back. She just wants to make my life miserable.
00:08:02Come on, Neil. That's not so-
00:08:04Uh uh, I buy a good first slice.
00:08:06I hope you got meat lovers this time, Matt.
00:08:08Yeah, you would say that you do-
00:08:10What the hell are you still doing here?
00:08:12She also said I could take whatever I wanted.
00:08:14What? No! Get the hell out!
00:08:16Um. These are ours. Sorry.
00:08:18Um, that too.
00:08:20Thanks.
00:08:22Well, uh. Hold it, hold it.
00:08:24We're good to go.
00:08:26You'd never be too sure with hobos.
00:08:28All right.
00:08:30No, no.
00:08:32I'm sorry.
00:08:34I'm sorry.
00:08:36We're good to go.
00:08:38I'm sorry.
00:08:40You're good to go.
00:08:42No, no.
00:08:44Giz...
00:08:47At least she's been such a bitch since I broke up with her.
00:08:50I thought she broke up with you.
00:08:52Is that what she's been telling people?
00:08:53Forget about her now.
00:08:54Must not be too hasty, Matt.
00:08:56I mean, breakups are a delicate situation.
00:08:58Like those Russian fabric eggs.
00:09:01It's Faberge.
00:09:03No, no, he dumped her.
00:09:05Alright, that egg is smashed, move on.
00:09:07I think you should re-examine the situation.
00:09:09I mean, it's been like two days since you guys split.
00:09:12About that yet.
00:09:13Right, so there's some heated emotions getting in the way of everyone's thinking right now,
00:09:17and you should probably just talk to her.
00:09:18Nah, she just wants to move on.
00:09:20Get her goods and go.
00:09:22I mean, she broke in here.
00:09:24Rash, yes, but if you look past all the raw emotion,
00:09:27you might be able to see what you actually want from all this.
00:09:30Nah, I don't think so.
00:09:32Why did you guys even break up? You two were perfect together.
00:09:35She was... too loud.
00:09:38Heh, tell me about it.
00:09:39Nah, I mean, in bed.
00:09:42What?
00:09:43I wanted to liven things up, so I told her to be louder, get into it.
00:09:48And?
00:09:49And she took it way too far, started yelling and screaming, you know, really getting into it.
00:09:54Wait, so that's why you used to crank your music?
00:09:56Funny I like those tunes.
00:09:58I'll never listen to Rock You Like a Hurricane the same way again.
00:10:01I told her to tone it down, but she said it was only getting better for her the louder and angrier she got.
00:10:06And that's when we started to fight.
00:10:08But before all that, don't you miss being with her?
00:10:11Well...
00:10:12Neil, don't listen to him. Look, you got your own boob tube right here.
00:10:15Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, I hadn't been spending that much time with you guys while I was with Lisa.
00:10:19Nothing like pizza and TV, right?
00:10:21Yeah, two pizza pies coming right up.
00:10:23Wait, you got pie?
00:10:24No, you douchefag. It's not actually pie. I'm just calling it pizza pie like the gangsters of old New York used to do.
00:10:30I've never heard of that before.
00:10:32Yeah, me neither. Does anyone still call it that?
00:10:35Does it matter? It's cool. Unique.
00:10:38Uncommon. And with good reason.
00:10:40No way. Look, a grinder is a hoagie is a foot long. They're all tasty sandwiches.
00:10:44I'm just saying, pizza pie? It doesn't sound that appetizing.
00:10:48Excuse me, I like a pizza with some whipped cream and cheese on it.
00:10:52Ooh, and some sprinkles. Yum yum.
00:10:54Yeah, it's like cheesecake. It just doesn't sound like you'd ever want to eat it.
00:10:57What do you have against cheesecake?
00:10:59Yeah.
00:11:00Listen to it. Cheese. Cake.
00:11:03Sounds like someone took some fresh Gouda and threw it on some crust.
00:11:06I mean, I like cheese and all, but a big honking slab of thick gooey just never really tempted me.
00:11:12You do know it's not actually cheese.
00:11:15Well, I know that now, but when I was little the name was all I had to go on.
00:11:19No, he's right. Bullshit.
00:11:21I'm just saying, a whole cake full of cheese, it sounds a little...
00:11:27What the hell is that?
00:11:29I can't really describe it.
00:11:31You still haven't.
00:11:32I boiled it down to an action.
00:11:34What the hell is that? That doesn't say shit to me.
00:11:37Yeah, it does. It's like, uh...
00:11:39Too sweet.
00:11:40What? No, not at all.
00:11:41Yeah, no, it's like when you wipe your brow cause it's hot, or you keel over cause you're sick.
00:11:46Going like...
00:11:47Saying it's too sweet or something.
00:11:49Eric, that's ridiculous.
00:11:51Well, that's what I did.
00:11:53Dude, no wonder Lisa broke up with you. You can't even communicate your own fucking thoughts.
00:11:56Hey, that was a low blow.
00:11:58I broke up with her, remember? She's the crazy one.
00:12:00And don't you forget it. I just had to refocus your anger onto her.
00:12:03We're all friends here. Let's get to that TV.
00:12:18So where the hell is Howie? We can't watch TV without him.
00:12:21Did we lose it?
00:12:22Get his whistle.
00:12:23Got it.
00:12:24Come on.
00:12:25I hear him. Again.
00:12:39Found him.
00:12:40Oh, Howie, thank God.
00:12:41How could we ever lose you?
00:12:42Good thing we attached this locator to him just in case. Oh, put this back, Eric.
00:12:55No, Eric. In its holder. If we lose that whistle and then Howie again, we're screwed.
00:13:02Okay, okay. Yeah, we'll be back to where we were before, Lisa. Remote-less.
00:13:09And thus TV-less. Remember when we broke a remote and got stuck on the Spanish-owned shopping network?
00:13:14Ah, si, si.
00:13:15Go on per Espanola, todo el dia, diario.
00:13:18Tuvimos que desenchufa la TV centena remoto.
00:13:21¿Listo a mirar a TV?
00:13:22Vamanos, baby!
00:13:23I love you, Howie.
00:13:25Look how cute he is.
00:13:26So much better than that dog we wanted.
00:13:28I know. I stole him when I broke up with Lisa. She got him when we were still together. Said she needed something size-wise in her life.
00:13:39Well, fuck her. I stole a remote.
00:13:42Right.
00:13:44Well, anyway, like we said, good thing. It's been a good addition to our family.
00:13:48Jeez. Girls are complicated.
00:13:49Yeah, but TV isn't.
00:13:54Or maybe it is.
00:13:56Damn it.
00:13:58No, no, I'll fix it.
00:14:01Yeah, from the sound of it, girls never seem to say what they're thinking.
00:14:04It's like you need some sort of decoder ring to figure it out.
00:14:06Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, you got it.
00:14:08Who can read that? These are police reports.
00:14:10What were you saying, Eric? I was just saying it.
00:14:13You seem like a good kid.
00:14:14I think you'll fit in just fine at the National Security Agency.
00:14:18Anyway?
00:14:21Here's your first code to break.
00:14:25Did a girl write this?
00:14:26It looks like a breakup note.
00:14:29What?
00:14:30Yeah, it looks like she's trying to break up.
00:14:35Impossible.
00:14:37You've had a super computer working on that one for four months.
00:14:40I just read it.
00:14:41No, no, you did much more than that.
00:14:44You're good.
00:14:46Here.
00:14:48Try this one.
00:14:53Looks like she's avoiding sex tonight.
00:14:55It's a common avoidance maneuver.
00:14:57How could we be so blind?
00:14:59Quickly, come with me.
00:15:00Director.
00:15:01What is the meaning of this?
00:15:03The new guy.
00:15:04He's a crypto analysis prodigy.
00:15:06He can crack anything.
00:15:08Well, is that so?
00:15:09Let's see if he can crack this.
00:15:12It's a trick.
00:15:13It has to be.
00:15:14What do you mean?
00:15:15A yes or no answer will lead to disaster.
00:15:17This is a question not meant to be answered.
00:15:18Where did you get this?
00:15:20My wife.
00:15:22Well, that was weird.
00:15:23Yeah, it was almost like...
00:15:24The television is watching.
00:15:26You!
00:15:27Okay.
00:15:28After that, I need something to drink.
00:15:31I'll have an MD.
00:15:32What?
00:15:33Oh, come on, Eric.
00:15:34You love me.
00:15:35It has to be.
00:15:36It has to be.
00:15:37What do you mean?
00:15:38What do you mean?
00:15:39A yes or no answer will lead to disaster.
00:15:40This is a question not meant to be answered.
00:15:41Where did you get this?
00:15:42My wife...
00:15:44Well, that was...
00:15:45Weird.
00:15:46Yeah, it was almost like...
00:15:47The television...
00:15:48Is watching.
00:15:49You!
00:15:50Okay.
00:15:51After that, I need something to drink.
00:15:52I'll have an MD.
00:15:53The Nose Game
00:15:54You're the last person
00:15:55You're the last person
00:15:55To touch their nose
00:15:56After a request
00:15:56So you have to take
00:15:57The Walk of Shame
00:15:58What?
00:15:59That's a stupid game
00:16:00Who came up with that?
00:16:01It's been passed out
00:16:02From generation to generation
00:16:03It's creation
00:16:03Of the sands of time
00:16:04I think it started
00:16:05With Jesus and his apostles
00:16:07You know who was
00:16:07Hattig on him there
00:16:08It's an invaluable tool
00:16:09For lazy people
00:16:10With quick hands everywhere
00:16:11Yeah, you know
00:16:12Matt's got the quickest
00:16:12Hands around
00:16:13All those years
00:16:14Of solitary practice
00:16:15Yep, and now
00:16:15You're taking a walk
00:16:16But I don't
00:16:18Sorry, Eric
00:16:19It's the rules
00:16:20I just got to know
00:16:21Why the nose?
00:16:23I think if you stuck your finger up your ass it would cause a few problems after multiple attempts.
00:16:27Yeah, some rough attempts for a Twisted Tootsie Roll.
00:16:29What?
00:16:30Wicked.
00:16:34It is strange.
00:16:35I guess I can understand it though.
00:16:36Your hand isn't normally near your face,
00:16:38so you gotta be quick if you wanna avoid being the last one.
00:16:40Yeah, totally.
00:16:41Hey, don't think I'm gonna forget.
00:16:42I'll have an MD.
00:16:43Ugh, fine.
00:16:45Yeah, there's been a lot of weird, stupid things that have been invented over time.
00:16:53Like this thing.
00:16:54Seriously, who thinks of this shit?
00:16:56Someone missing a finger, I guess.
00:16:58Yeah, but how does everyone even know about that?
00:17:00I mean, before the internet, people were like... dumb.
00:17:03I don't know, I guess people maybe did it at family gatherings in order to entertain each other
00:17:07and then they passed it on or something.
00:17:09Maybe they read it in the newspaper.
00:17:11Yeah, but still, how did that first person figure that out?
00:17:14Luck?
00:17:15I'm not so sure.
00:17:17I think one guy was just puffing on some wacky weed, shoved his thumb between his fingers
00:17:20and figured out pulling his finger off.
00:17:22I mean, people like that are really into weird, trippy shit like this.
00:17:25Yeah, tell me about it.
00:17:26I used to have this one friend who smoked a lot of dope,
00:17:28and one day when he was at his usual Chinese buffet,
00:17:30he thought he could understand what the workers were saying.
00:17:32He called me up and said,
00:17:33I can learn Chinese by smoking weed.
00:17:35What?
00:17:36Turns out the workers were trying to learn Spanish,
00:17:37and my friend was a fluent Spanish translator.
00:17:39Huh.
00:17:40People these days.
00:17:41Yeah.
00:17:42Well, whoever figured that out was probably related to this guy.
00:17:45Yeah, that one's a classic.
00:17:47Wherever it came from.
00:17:48At least I never knew about that one.
00:17:51God, not her again.
00:17:52Look, just let that slut go.
00:17:54Sorry, man.
00:17:55I've just been thinking about her.
00:17:56She's been acting really weird lately.
00:17:58I mean, I guess I can understand her breaking and entering,
00:18:01but bringing that smelly hobo in here?
00:18:03Just let it go.
00:18:04Alright?
00:18:05And once you realize you're better off living the life of a bachelor,
00:18:07you'll be living the high life like me.
00:18:09You'll be getting drinks served to you,
00:18:10watch all sorts of great TV.
00:18:12You'll be one with...
00:18:13I was gonna say universe.
00:18:14I was gonna say couch.
00:18:16Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:18:18I mean, what do you think about her bringing that hobo in here?
00:18:21I mean, he could've let some germs behind or something.
00:18:23Don't you think it's a little weird that she tried to make it seem like he was her boyfriend?
00:18:26I don't know.
00:18:27I thought it was weirder that we missed him.
00:18:29The second time.
00:18:30Eric!
00:18:31Where's that drink?
00:18:32You can't have pizza pie without a cold MD.
00:18:35Yeah, it's coming.
00:18:36You gonna answer that?
00:18:41Nope.
00:18:42What if it's important?
00:18:43Well, if it's important, they'll call back.
00:18:45You're not even gonna screen it.
00:18:47And waste the time?
00:18:48I know I'm not gonna answer it.
00:18:50See?
00:18:51Problem solved.
00:18:53No way, dude.
00:18:54There's only two of us here.
00:18:55You can't do that.
00:18:56Besides, you're closer.
00:18:57Can't deny that.
00:18:58Geez, remind me never to call you if I ever go to the prison.
00:18:59Hello?
00:19:00Oh, hey, Scott.
00:19:01Yeah, we're all here.
00:19:02Nah, Lisa's on the prowl.
00:19:03Nah, I don't know.
00:19:04I don't know.
00:19:05I don't know.
00:19:06I don't know.
00:19:07I don't know.
00:19:08I don't care.
00:19:09I don't know.
00:19:10You're okay.
00:19:11I don't know.
00:19:13Yeah, we're all here.
00:19:14Nah, we're all here.
00:19:16Nah, Lisa's on the prowl.
00:19:17Nah, I don't know.
00:19:18Nah, I don't know.
00:19:20Nah, I don't know.
00:19:21Nah, I don't care.
00:19:22Yeah, okay.
00:19:23See ya.
00:19:24What do you want?
00:19:26He's on his way over.
00:19:27What for?
00:19:28I don't know.
00:19:29Does he want to watch TV?
00:19:30I don't know.
00:19:31Well when's he going to be here?
00:19:33I don't know.
00:19:34What if Lisa sees him?
00:19:36I don't care.
00:19:37Geez, what do you want?
00:19:38Ağır işçi.
00:19:39Gerçekten sana anlayan alıyor.
00:19:40Ben.
00:19:41Ben karanlıkla gram although bir ürün mi ona da!
00:19:42Eric!
00:19:42Ya.
00:19:43Bu ne?
00:19:44Bakın bir şeyin.
00:19:45Bir şeyin nazık.
00:19:47Ya bir şeyin bir action figures?
00:19:48Ayy bu ne.
00:19:49Hay.
00:19:49Bu da aynı.
00:19:50Yeniden yokuz.
00:19:50Ve olaç için bir dola.
00:19:52La gibi bir tahmin.
00:19:57Ah bu.
00:19:58Bu ne.
00:19:59Lisa must bu.
00:20:01Bu ne.
00:20:02Ne?
00:20:03Ayy Jadi mi nesil böyle?
00:20:05Ya.
00:20:05Bu ne.
00:20:06Bu bir şey.
00:20:07Bir şeyin.
00:20:07No, really.
00:20:08It looks just like you.
00:20:09It's pretty beat up, too.
00:20:10What?
00:20:11It looks like the arms have been stabbed.
00:20:13Oh my god!
00:20:14And it looks like the head's been reattached.
00:20:16It can't be.
00:20:17And right here where the heart used to be is now a twizzler.
00:20:20Oh, that's not that bad.
00:20:21It's black licorice.
00:20:22She is psychotic.
00:20:23I wonder if it works.
00:20:28Oh my god, it's working!
00:20:30It's gonna be making him kiss his own ass.
00:20:32No you schmucks, I was just messing with you.
00:20:34Do you think that thing actually works?
00:20:36Well, it might have.
00:20:37Remember that one day we had to reattach your decapitated head?
00:20:39It's just like this voodoo doll.
00:20:41You can't be serious.
00:20:43Oh, wait.
00:20:44That was a dream I had.
00:20:46You dream about me?
00:20:48It's okay, Matt.
00:20:49I dream about you guys, too.
00:20:51I don't dream about you guys.
00:20:53Wait, what do you dream about?
00:20:55Just, you know, the three of us living together.
00:20:57Forever.
00:20:58I love it here.
00:20:59That's fucking creepy, dude.
00:21:00Well, you dream about Neil's head being cut off!
00:21:02I don't dream about any of you!
00:21:04There, there, we weren't fighting.
00:21:07There, there, Howie.
00:21:09We're upsetting him.
00:21:10I think he'll be okay.
00:21:11He knows we're friends.
00:21:13It's not a real person, Eric.
00:21:14I'm just making a point that Lisa's a crazy psycho bitch with voodoo Neil dolls.
00:21:18What, by talking to the remote?
00:21:19By luring him back to the couch with the seductive calls of Howie.
00:21:22It's TV that'll never do you wrong.
00:21:24I'm sure she's just bending or something.
00:21:26You know, getting her anger out in non-harmful ways.
00:21:29I'm sure she's hurt that you guys broke up.
00:21:31She might even be trying to patch things up.
00:21:33Patch things up?
00:21:34What, like my head back to my torso?
00:21:36Eric, Lisa clearly wants this guy dead.
00:21:38I don't know about that.
00:21:40Anger is her form of communication.
00:21:42Unconventional?
00:21:43Yeah, but it's been consistent since the breakup.
00:21:46What I see is that she's planning something bigger.
00:21:49I keep thinking she can't handle this breakup the way I can.
00:21:53I think I need to do something about this.
00:21:55See, there's a problem right there.
00:21:56You're thinking about things.
00:21:57We all know the cure for thinking, don't we boys?
00:22:00TV.
00:22:02It happens here every Friday night.
00:22:05Yeah.
00:22:06Ted over here is going to help us out with this operation.
00:22:08You ready, Ted?
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Let's do this.
00:22:11Come on.
00:22:12Alright.
00:22:13Guys, they think it's some kind of game.
00:22:15Hey guys.
00:22:16Ted, what are you doing here?
00:22:17Ted, your character died.
00:22:18Flagroth, the wizard mage died and left the dragon.
00:22:19Go, go, go.
00:22:20Everyone freeze.
00:22:21Everybody freeze.
00:22:22What?
00:22:23What's going on?
00:22:24What's this?
00:22:25What?
00:22:26Nothing.
00:22:27I don't have anything.
00:22:28What do you want?
00:22:29Give me that.
00:22:30What?
00:22:31Give me that.
00:22:32Dice.
00:22:33That's a felony, man.
00:22:34Oh my god.
00:22:35It's a felony.
00:22:36No.
00:22:37I don't have anything.
00:22:38I don't have anything.
00:22:39What do you want?
00:22:40Give me that.
00:22:41Give me that.
00:22:42Dice.
00:22:43That's a felony, man.
00:22:44I...
00:22:45You know?
00:22:46You can't have them.
00:22:47I need them.
00:22:48Okay.
00:22:49Coming downtown with you, man.
00:22:50What?
00:22:51Coming downtown.
00:22:52They're gonna be sick.
00:22:53Oh my god.
00:22:54Oh my god.
00:22:55My mom's gonna kill me.
00:23:00Well, that was interesting...ly bad.
00:23:03What?
00:23:04Man.
00:23:05TV's been sucking recently.
00:23:06Seems like our society is degenerating into a populace that's only interested in lower
00:23:09and lower forms of entertainment.
00:23:10That's perpetuating the de-evolution of our culture.
00:23:15Wow, that was really sophisticated, though, dude.
00:23:17Yeah, right on the back of a cereal box.
00:23:19Wow, what kind of cereal do you eat?
00:23:21Philosophicos.
00:23:22Wow.
00:23:23Wow.
00:23:24I was kidding, you douchefag.
00:23:26I have to disagree with you, Matt.
00:23:29I'm sure he's a douchefag.
00:23:30I think he meant about the TV sucking, Matt.
00:23:32Here.
00:23:33Let me show you the TV's not completely down the tubes.
00:23:36Careful with them.
00:23:37Soft hands.
00:23:38There's gotta be some quality stuff on here to watch.
00:23:39I wouldn't doubt it.
00:23:40TV's got all sorts of hidden gems.
00:23:42You probably won't find much, though.
00:23:43Most of it's pretty crappy.
00:23:44I don't know, Matt.
00:23:45We've had some great times in here together.
00:23:47Do us proud, Neil.
00:23:48Good luck.
00:23:49Balls, balls, balls.
00:23:52We've got all sorts of balls.
00:23:54Big balls, little balls, yellow balls, frisbee balls, black balls, blue balls, ugly balls, blue balls, salty balls.
00:23:58Then I mentioned blue balls.
00:23:59Everyone loves balls.
00:24:00Have we got a deal for you.
00:24:02Buy a ball, get a ball.
00:24:04Come in for a pair today at Big Al's Big Balls Emporium.
00:24:09Hmm, QED.
00:24:10Wow.
00:24:11Betrayed by our own TV.
00:24:13How could this be?
00:24:15Oh, it's pretty simple.
00:24:16I mean, people are subjected to many forms of entertainment.
00:24:18And all the new forms have to push the risque limits in order to garner the most attention.
00:24:22It's a recipe for disaster.
00:24:24No, I mean about you being right.
00:24:26You're almost never right.
00:24:27Especially about how your precious TV is losing its luster.
00:24:29Well, you tend to look past it and enjoy it for what it is.
00:24:32I don't know, guys.
00:24:33There's still some good stuff out there.
00:24:34Like this hit new superhero show my internet blogging sites keep talking about.
00:24:38This better not be another one of your stupid Asian cartoons.
00:24:41Geez, Matt, it's called anime.
00:24:43And no, this isn't.
00:24:44Yeah, good.
00:24:45Because I don't think I could take another five minutes of anime lines, overexpressions,
00:24:48and senseless emphasis.
00:24:50What?
00:24:51Oh, come on.
00:24:52Every anime is...
00:24:53Hello!
00:24:54How are you doing?
00:24:55Well, it's none of that.
00:24:56Yeah, we'll see.
00:24:57Heads up.
00:24:58Nice catch.
00:24:59Wouldn't want to hurt your precious baby.
00:25:02Hey.
00:25:03That's all of our babies.
00:25:05Okay.
00:25:06So...
00:25:07For Christ's sake.
00:25:09Hello?
00:25:10Hi.
00:25:11Yep.
00:25:12Mm-hmm.
00:25:13Right here.
00:25:15It's Lisa.
00:25:16Lisa!
00:25:17Yes, Neil.
00:25:18You still have more of my stuff.
00:25:20Don't play Koi, Neil.
00:25:21I know you're there.
00:25:22I know you're there.
00:25:23It was the wrong number.
00:25:40It was Lisa.
00:25:41Was she seriously going to do this?
00:25:46How about that show, Erick?
00:25:47Eric
00:25:48No way, I refuse to have my entertainment sphere be penetrated by this psycho.
00:25:51Either you settle this or I will.
00:25:53Maybe it's not even her.
00:25:56See?
00:25:58Oh, that is it.
00:26:01Lisa, you're being permanently disconnected.
00:26:04Oh man, I always wanted to have a bitch in one liner like that.
00:26:08Oh, that settles that.
00:26:10That was extreme.
00:26:11Hey, she had it coming.
00:26:14Why do you always have to be the Bieber in Neils Dam, Matt?
00:26:17You've been causing a lot of problems lately.
00:26:20What did he come up with this stuff, Eric? That was actually pretty...
00:26:26He never answers the first one.
00:26:28Just waiting it out.
00:26:31There.
00:26:34This is something else. I swear to god.
00:26:37Neil?
00:26:38What?
00:26:39No, wait. Lisa has my phone.
00:26:42Good call. I'm proud of you.
00:26:44Just turned it off.
00:26:46I hate when my dome is assaulted.
00:26:48This is why girls are the root of all evil.
00:26:50Let's just get to that show.
00:26:52Maybe you should just talk to her.
00:26:53She has been very forward.
00:26:55Eric!
00:26:56Yeah, okay.
00:26:57This is the college crew.
00:27:00Frat man with a stomach of infinite capacity.
00:27:04Blaine with a power of social invisibility.
00:27:09Has a car lad.
00:27:14Who has a car?
00:27:16And Amazo with the power of telekinesis.
00:27:28Wow, what an awful show.
00:27:29Yeah.
00:27:30Why aren't any good superheroes made anymore?
00:27:32Because it can't be the classic superheroes.
00:27:34Like Batman.
00:27:35Please, are you kidding me? Batman?
00:27:37Come on, he wasn't that bad.
00:27:38I don't give any shit about Batman.
00:27:39Ooh, he's not a real superhero.
00:27:41He's got a lot of money.
00:27:42Ooh, he keeps a small boy in a cave. Ooh.
00:27:44Well, that's true.
00:27:45He did keep a small boy in a cave.
00:27:47But he was a dark hero.
00:27:48Bound to service by the events of his childhood.
00:27:50That's not even the fucking problem.
00:27:52And he's basically Sherlock Holmes with a cool accent.
00:27:54And I'm gonna fight crime by being a detective.
00:27:56Yeah, that's cool.
00:27:57Oh, please, who's your superhero?
00:27:59Spider-Man.
00:28:00The semen slinger?
00:28:01Spider-Man's kinda cool.
00:28:03I guess.
00:28:04At least he actually has superpowers.
00:28:06Peter Parker's original conception was to make science cool
00:28:08and relate to other teenagers.
00:28:10He was a high school student and he dealt with everyday problems.
00:28:12I could totally see that happening.
00:28:14Now, originally Peter Parker was a jock with brains.
00:28:17Totally not happening.
00:28:19At least Batman's a hero that you could go around saying,
00:28:21with a little hard work and studying, I could be him someday.
00:28:24You wouldn't spend the rest of your life looking for a radioactive beetle.
00:28:27Radioactive beetle.
00:28:29Batman couldn't even keep his villains under control.
00:28:31It's a nice job security if you ask me.
00:28:32What?
00:28:33Look, a corporate entity such as Wayne Enterprises
00:28:35must have had a hand in sales such as security devices to shipping and construction.
00:28:39Making sure his villains weren't truly locked away forever,
00:28:41Batman had a pretty good guarantee that Gotham would be facing some tough times ahead.
00:28:45He'd be making profit repairing all the destruction caused by his publicly hated thorns.
00:28:48Meanwhile, ensuring a positive life for Batman and a financial foothold for Wayne Enterprises.
00:28:52So you're saying Batman actually expects his villains to escape?
00:28:55Totally.
00:28:56If he's so technologically advanced, how come each of his villains has escaped like a hundred times?
00:29:00Well, they have to keep the cast of characters relatively contained.
00:29:02People love seeing some of their favorite villains.
00:29:04Sure, and Bruce Wayne profits from it all.
00:29:06I mean, if you're here as the almighty dollar, then B-Money's your man.
00:29:09Well, what about Superman, guys?
00:29:11He's always been my hero.
00:29:12Okay, talk about the lame.
00:29:14Yeah, totally, come on.
00:29:15Man of Steel.
00:29:16Truth, justice, and the American way.
00:29:18The only real American way is Captain America.
00:29:20It's in his fucking title.
00:29:21Yeah, Superman's way too damn powerful to be a good hero.
00:29:24Plus, we should do what we do with all illegal aliens and throw them out of the country.
00:29:28Superman's character is all about the social struggles of being different.
00:29:31Yeah, but he looks great to the fly and his jack beyond belief.
00:29:34Oh, yeah.
00:29:35That's totally a social outcast.
00:29:37And yet, everything is such a huge struggle for his super strength, too.
00:29:40Like, he can stop a meteor from falling at 500 miles an hour, but he has trouble lifting a fucking car?
00:29:44I mean, it's like super strength is the ability to be just strong enough for a given task.
00:29:48What a crock of shit.
00:29:49Yeah, totally.
00:29:50I kinda like your show, Eric.
00:29:52College kids don't really act like that.
00:29:56Yeah, though...
00:29:57I could use an MD.
00:29:59I'll drive.
00:30:00Whoo!
00:30:02Team to myself.
00:30:03Eric, hold the fort.
00:30:05And if Lisa comes around again, call the cops.
00:30:07Geez, Duke.
00:30:08Why are you gonna keep bringing her own?
00:30:09You can never be too careful.
00:30:10I'm just...
00:30:11No one hangs up on me!
00:30:13Ah!
00:30:14She's still here!
00:30:16Shit, dude.
00:30:17What do we do?
00:30:18What do we do?
00:30:19Why didn't you feel her with your sense?
00:30:21I don't know.
00:30:22Shut up, Eric.
00:30:23You can't go out there now.
00:30:24Not with her watching and waiting.
00:30:26Lisa, what do you want?
00:30:27Do you want me to stay in front of everyone?
00:30:29You know what I want!
00:30:33No, I don't.
00:30:34That's why I asked you.
00:30:35No, don't.
00:30:36Shh!
00:30:37Get out of here.
00:30:38I think she saw you guys.
00:30:41Neil, just open the door!
00:30:43Don't drop!
00:30:44I'm all right, Neil!
00:30:45I'm all right.
00:30:46Open the door!
00:30:47I'm all right Neil.
00:30:48Open the door.
00:30:50I just want to talk.
00:30:51I'm all right.
00:30:52Open the door.
00:30:53I'm all right.
00:30:54I'm all right.
00:30:55Now open the door.
00:30:56Nele! Nele!
00:30:58Nele!
00:30:58Nele!
00:30:59Nele!
00:30:59Nele!
00:31:02Nele!
00:31:02Nele...
00:31:03Nele...
00:31:04Nele...
00:31:05Nele!
00:31:05Nele!
00:31:05Nele asked having done this shit!
00:31:06Nele!
00:31:07Nele!
00:31:08Nele!
00:31:08Nele!
00:31:10Nele!
00:31:10Nele!
00:31:11Nele!
00:31:11Nele!
00:31:12Nele!
00:31:13Nele!
00:31:13Nele!
00:31:13Nele manageable!
00:31:14Vielleobren тоже her this!
00:31:15�를 bu说白fait met Ini!
00:31:17ASeringi bulunu işte!
00:31:18Nele!
00:31:19Nele!
00:31:20Nele!
00:31:20Nele!
00:31:23Nele!
00:31:26İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:31:56İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:26İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:28İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:30İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:32Altyazı mı?
00:32:34Altyazı mı?
00:32:36İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:38İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:40İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:42İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:44İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:46İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:48İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:50İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:52İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:54İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:56İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32:58İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:00İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:02İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:04İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:05İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:06İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:07İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:08İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:09İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:10İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:11İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:33:12I live in the country.
00:33:13Ok.
00:33:14Now consider the psychological threat.
00:33:16What if your father, your mother, or even your best friend became infected?
00:33:20How would you kill that?
00:33:22The constant beating, banging, barraging on the door?
00:33:27Disturbing you while you eat, sleep, or watch TV?
00:33:30Stop it!
00:33:31You're scaring me!
00:33:32There, there Eric.
00:33:34Just trying to save you now while I can.
00:33:36I'll take your mind off it.
00:33:42The most terrifying thing is happening in your bed.
00:33:56In the shower.
00:33:58No matter where you run, you're going to be f***ed by fear.
00:34:07You're not that scared for a chick.
00:34:11Summer 2012!
00:34:13Top one's cough and bottom one's wing.
00:34:15And the rest of marbles.
00:34:16And the nine turtles and marbles.
00:34:18The giant crabs are everywhere!
00:34:20Everyone, run for your lives!
00:34:21Run!
00:34:22I think that slut Lisa is infected or something.
00:34:27Is the one that cream I mentioned?
00:34:29Hey, that's not nice.
00:34:30Hey, I'm just saying.
00:34:31Maybe she's some sort of demon zombie who craves pissing off her ex-boyfriend and his TV-watching friends!
00:34:36No!
00:34:37I mean calling her a...
00:34:38a slut.
00:34:39I don't think that's really nice of you.
00:34:41Sorry dude, but it comes with the territory.
00:34:43I mean, she was the one who decided to go all uber bitch.
00:34:45She can take her title with her.
00:34:47Neil, I'm sure you don't think calling her a...
00:34:49is right, ex-girlfriend or not.
00:34:52I don't know.
00:34:53I think she slept with about twelve guys.
00:34:55I think.
00:34:56I never really asked her that.
00:34:57I guess that's kind of slutty if you care about that sort of thing.
00:35:00Yeah, see?
00:35:01Total slut.
00:35:02I don't think she, I don't know, sucked 37 dicks or anything.
00:35:04Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:35:05That's completely different.
00:35:06Come on guys.
00:35:07I mean, this isn't right.
00:35:08What do you mean?
00:35:09You're saying that sucking 37 dicks isn't a slutty to sleeping with twelve guys?
00:35:12Totally not.
00:35:13No way.
00:35:14No way.
00:35:15Eric.
00:35:1637 dicks or twelve guys.
00:35:17Which is sluttier?
00:35:18I don't feel comfortable talking about this, guys.
00:35:20Come on, douchefag.
00:35:21May not be able to answer the question.
00:35:23Well...
00:35:24I mean...
00:35:25Sexual intercourse is something special shared between two lovers.
00:35:28And it shouldn't be entered in too lightly.
00:35:30I think if a girl is just throwing herself around like that, well then, she's not a very good-willed girl.
00:35:36I can see what you mean.
00:35:38It's just...
00:35:4037 dicks is a lot of dick.
00:35:42I don't think the term slut should be thrown around like a nickname.
00:35:45You think slut?
00:35:46You think sex.
00:35:47Twelve guys?
00:35:48Total slut.
00:35:49This is like what?
00:35:50Twenty-one?
00:35:51Twenty-two?
00:35:52Twenty-three!
00:35:53Right, twenty-three.
00:35:54So let's say she gets her first name when she's eighteen.
00:35:55That's like three guys per year.
00:35:56Total slut.
00:35:57By that method, let's say she was a teeny-bopper and started experimenting when she was fifteen.
00:36:01With 37 dicks, that's five d per y.
00:36:03Deeper y?
00:36:04Yeah, d per y. Dicks per year.
00:36:05Oh.
00:36:06That's not even considering her relationship spans.
00:36:08Uh, even if she wasn't sucking other dick during relationships, an average relationship span of, say, six months, the frequency of dicks has to go up when she's single in order to maintain that five d per y.
00:36:20Oh.
00:36:21I feel awful when I think of it like that.
00:36:23At least I never did anything like that, though. I was just saying that to prove my point.
00:36:27That was a mouthful.
00:36:30You guys are awful saying things like that.
00:36:32Man, that is a lot of dick. I'm gonna have to rethink this one.
00:36:36Man.
00:36:38I could use a drink.
00:36:40Yeah, me too.
00:36:42What are you doing?
00:36:44Not getting my drink.
00:36:46Yeah, but you started with your hand on your nose.
00:36:48That's the game.
00:36:49No, that's total disqualification. You can't start with your finger on your nose.
00:36:52What? Why?
00:36:54Because then you could just never have to get your own stuff.
00:36:56You get an advantage of being the asker, but that's it. Sorry, dude.
00:37:00Eleven MD.
00:37:01What?
00:37:02Punishment for your crime against humanity.
00:37:04Humanity?
00:37:05Gonna make an example out of this one. Sorry, Eric.
00:37:08You know, Matt, it seems like I'm always getting you a drink.
00:37:11But someday, somebody else is gonna get mine.
00:37:14Heh. Gotta pick your battles, man.
00:37:22Hey!
00:37:27Ain't nothin'.
00:37:28No, really. I think Lisa's gone.
00:37:30Again? Maybe it's for good this time.
00:37:34She can't really be gone.
00:37:36Why don't you go check?
00:37:37I can't.
00:37:38Why not?
00:37:39She might do something dumb when you saw the voodoo doll.
00:37:42Maybe you're overthinking the situation.
00:37:44Your fear seems out of place.
00:37:46I don't want to get my head cut off.
00:37:48Look, Neil. You want her gone, but you're concerned that she is.
00:37:51Why don't you reassess the situation and then talk to her?
00:37:54Neil, don't listen to this douchebag.
00:37:55Alright, we've had so much fun today just kicking back and watching TV.
00:37:58It's like I said, girls are high maintenance and dangerous no matter who they are.
00:38:01It's for the better.
00:38:02Yeah, but-
00:38:03Yeah, but you can work, come home, and watch TV.
00:38:05We can make fun of Eric together.
00:38:06It's worked for me and life is great.
00:38:08Yeah, but don't you want more?
00:38:09Hell no.
00:38:10I know to go and get more just leads you down a troublesome trail.
00:38:12I'd rather stick with what works.
00:38:14Look, you tried to trek down the love life path and now you're shitting bricks cause of it.
00:38:17So you know what?
00:38:18Come back to the couch. Your seat's getting cold.
00:38:20Neil, just check. Lisa's been at this for some time now. Give her a chance.
00:38:25Trust me, there might still be some electricity left in this one.
00:38:28I think I'm going to listen to Eric on this one, Matt, alright?
00:38:31It'll only be a minute.
00:38:33I'm telling you dude, security surrounds this couch. I know it for certain. See you in a bit.
00:38:39I'll wait here.
00:38:41I'll wait here.
00:39:09Lisa!
00:39:10Neil!
00:39:11What the hell are you doing? You weren't going to cut that cord were you?
00:39:15Am I not?
00:39:16Do you want to shock yourself to death? At this point I'd let you if it wasn't powering our TV.
00:39:20Oh of course, your precious TV. Jeez Neil, you've really taken a turn for the worse without me.
00:39:25What the hell is wrong with you?
00:39:27You've still got some of my stuff.
00:39:29I was getting to that. You'll get it. I just want to be alone.
00:39:33We are alone.
00:39:34That's not what I meant. We want to watch TV in peace.
00:39:37Is that it? Is that what you're going to do with yourself? Just get a decent job and sit and settle?
00:39:42I want more. You should know what my ambitions are.
00:39:44Then get more. It's not going to come to you in some song and dance.
00:39:48And those buffoons in there aren't going to help you. Well, Matt isn't at least.
00:39:53Those are my friends in there.
00:39:55Well you have to understand that there comes a time in life where you have to start making decisions for yourself.
00:40:00What choice are you going to make?
00:40:02You're not going to make me do this, are you?
00:40:04Dammit Neil, if not now, then when?
00:40:06Well I'm certainly not going to choose you. You're crazy.
00:40:09That wasn't the option. We're over, remember?
00:40:11Yeah, good thing too.
00:40:13You say that like it was some sort of prison sentence.
00:40:15Well I sure as hell feel free now.
00:40:17Dammit Neil, why are you siding with them?
00:40:19I didn't even say anything about them.
00:40:20You didn't have to.
00:40:22I came out here to talk to you.
00:40:23No, you came out here to save your precious TV time.
00:40:26What are you, just watching the Spanish shopping channel again?
00:40:29No, uh, we got a long stick.
00:40:32Well, I'm not leaving until I get what's mine.
00:40:35I know you're keeping them.
00:40:37We want you to leave.
00:40:38Why are you being such a bitch?
00:40:40Me?
00:40:41Didn't Matt send you down here to get rid of me?
00:40:44No, I came out here on my own.
00:40:46Liar.
00:40:47You can't make a decision for yourself, Neil.
00:40:50You've got to have someone lead you around or you'll just hang around and veg.
00:40:55Hell, you've got a poor reason for hanging around here.
00:40:58Dammit, I thought this was going to resolve something.
00:41:00Just give me my stuff and we'll solve this issue.
00:41:03You're so damn possessive.
00:41:04Don't just walk away from me.
00:41:06What do you want me to do?
00:41:07You want your stuff?
00:41:08You've already taken everything else that's mine.
00:41:09Isn't that good enough for you?
00:41:10No, not at all.
00:41:11What do you even want them for anyway?
00:41:14You just want an excuse to stay here, don't you?
00:41:17Yeah, you wish.
00:41:18You're just trying to get me to lead through reverse psychology.
00:41:21Well, it's not going to work.
00:41:22What did I ever see in you?
00:41:24Don't sell a relationship so short.
00:41:26You couldn't enjoy it for what it was worth, remember?
00:41:29Be louder.
00:41:31Yeah, you certainly took a liking to that, didn't you?
00:41:34God, you're an asshole.
00:41:36That is really rubbing off on you.
00:41:38Yeah, well, you're crazy.
00:41:39I told you, don't just walk away from me.
00:41:42Watch me.
00:41:43Go to hell!
00:41:51So what do you think?
00:41:52Is it going to work out?
00:41:53I think you should get Matt as a drink.
00:41:54Told you dude, total bitch, huh?
00:41:56Neil, don't give up on her yet.
00:41:58If you're trying to pass things up, Eric, you're a fool.
00:42:00You're just overly concerned with what everyone else thinks of her.
00:42:04She can't hate you.
00:42:05She's doing everything in her power to bug the hell out of us.
00:42:08She gives a massacred doll of me.
00:42:10She must really hate me.
00:42:17Welcome back, dude.
00:42:18Damn it, Matt.
00:42:19Hey, I told you. Stability.
00:42:21I can assure you that she'll never treat you wrong.
00:42:23I don't know.
00:42:24I just, I can't help the feeling that Lisa's plotting something bigger.
00:42:27It's not like she's going to blow up the apartment with her brain or anything.
00:42:29I guess so.
00:42:30What do you think Eric's selling to, anyway?
00:42:32Probably just some Asian love-hate theory of his.
00:42:35Like those animes he watches.
00:42:37Oh, look.
00:42:38Here comes the matchmaker now.
00:42:40How do they make it so green?
00:42:42What?
00:42:43Your drink.
00:42:44How do they make it so green?
00:42:45It's like the ooze from Ninja Turtles.
00:42:48You know, I always thought drinking MD would make me a turtle.
00:42:51A turtle.
00:42:54A turtle.
00:42:55Not a martial artist.
00:42:56A turtle.
00:42:57Yeah, I think you'd be evolving the wrong way if you turned into a turtle.
00:43:00Well, then again, for you, that might be an improvement.
00:43:02Did you guys know that the creators of the turtles took cheese graters and they put them
00:43:06on their hand and swung it around?
00:43:08And that's how they came up with the idea for Shredder.
00:43:10Is that what your blogs tell you?
00:43:12Wiki.
00:43:13Oh, right.
00:43:14My second guess.
00:43:15You live on those websites, Eric.
00:43:16And yet you stay culturally ignorant and socially dense.
00:43:19Huh?
00:43:20Why did you win in a fight between the Power Rangers and the Ninja Turtles?
00:43:23Rangers?
00:43:24I'm just surprised you know who the Power Rangers are.
00:43:26Well, it did start out as a Japanese show called Super Sentai Series.
00:43:29That's right.
00:43:30You're an Asian kid stuck in an American body.
00:43:32How could I forget?
00:43:33You're such an Asian-American.
00:43:34What?
00:43:35Asian-American.
00:43:36An American kid so enveloped in Asian culture that he forgets his own roots.
00:43:40It's people like you that allowed the teriyaki flood to come rushing into our country.
00:43:43From food to fashion to entertainment.
00:43:45What, is America not good enough for you?
00:43:47You don't like our cheeseburgers and our fast cars?
00:43:50That's a bit harsh, man.
00:43:51That wouldn't be a fair fight anyway.
00:43:53I mean, there's only four turtles and five Power Rangers.
00:43:55No, it'd still be a fair fight.
00:43:57They got two girls who are just basically one dude.
00:43:59Turtles would still win.
00:44:00No, wait, dude.
00:44:01The Rangers are way better.
00:44:02Dude, they're basically just different nationalities wearing different colored spandex
00:44:05and talking to a giant fucking floating head.
00:44:07Oh, cause talking to a giant rat is cooler than that.
00:44:09Hey, a genetically altered rat who knows martial arts.
00:44:12You can't beat that.
00:44:13They are better trained and more hardcore than the Rainbow Crew.
00:44:15Well, what about the Megazord?
00:44:17Alright, look.
00:44:18Every Power Rangers episode has the same damn formula.
00:44:20One, there's a normal human problem.
00:44:22Billy's got homework.
00:44:23Or Kimberly chipped a nail.
00:44:24Oh, no!
00:44:25Whatever.
00:44:26Two, some big beastie comes down from outer space and gets fought by the Power Rangers.
00:44:29Three, the creature gets fucking gigantic.
00:44:31Four, the Rangers call out the Megazord and they go all Godzilla on the city,
00:44:34causing millions in structural and collateral damage.
00:44:36In five, they finally get around to beating the monster and somehow manage to translate
00:44:39their success back to the problem at the beginning of the episode.
00:44:42By the way, there's no way they could beat the better trained turtles.
00:44:45Well, the pattern is because the American show is comprised of footage from the original
00:44:49Japanese series.
00:44:50Ah, he's right.
00:44:51Bullshit.
00:44:52Not really.
00:44:53Go back and watch the show.
00:44:54They were smart to use helmets to conceal the actors.
00:44:56The American show just cannibalized the footage from the Japanese one.
00:44:59Going all Godzilla was just a result of the Japanese audiences loving that man in a rubber
00:45:02suit type stuff.
00:45:03The Yellow Ranger was originally a dude in Japan.
00:45:05That's why she didn't wear a skirt.
00:45:07Whatever.
00:45:08They still couldn't beat the turtles.
00:45:09But they had the Megazord!
00:45:11Oh, so you're assuming they can use everything at their disposal?
00:45:13Of course they'd fucking win.
00:45:14They'd fucking stomp the turtles with a huge fucking robot.
00:45:17Turtles had a blimp?
00:45:18Shut up, Eric.
00:45:19It'd be like pitting a meat covered baby against a...
00:45:21A pit bull.
00:45:23So they would win.
00:45:24Shut up, Eric.
00:45:25Get my pocket knife out here.
00:45:28What the...
00:45:29What the hell?
00:45:30Oh no, that's a midget knife.
00:45:32Yeah!
00:45:33That's a knife.
00:45:34And dude, it's a tower.
00:45:36Seriously, a tower.
00:45:37You don't see that every day.
00:45:39A tower.
00:45:40A medieval tower.
00:45:41Can you imagine this with cannons and knights and s**t?
00:45:44Wow!
00:45:45Wow!
00:45:46Jesus Christ!
00:45:47How'd you ever become a doctor?
00:45:49It was in your veins.
00:45:52Yeah!
00:45:53Yeah!
00:45:54Fight the fight!
00:45:55I'll fight the fight!
00:45:56Yeah!
00:45:57Live for nothing or die for creed!
00:45:58CREED!
00:45:59CREED!
00:46:00Pain in the ass.
00:46:01I gave you an Oscar winning performance last time.
00:46:03And now you come around chase me with a camera.
00:46:05Now I know what it feels like.
00:46:07The paparazzi chase you around cause you're so damn popular.
00:46:10This is XL.
00:46:12Yo, yo, yo.
00:46:13My main man Luke here spawned a 1960 pre-Cold War short stack.
00:46:17He's been suffering with his crude queue for some time.
00:46:20Watch what happens when we take his lib locker and turn it into a bib locker.
00:46:25Oh sh...
00:46:26Is that my locker?
00:46:27No, that...
00:46:28Is that my locker?
00:46:29Oh my...
00:46:30Is that my...
00:46:31That is my locker!
00:46:32Oh sh...
00:46:33Oh my god!
00:46:34You got...
00:46:35Oh mother...
00:46:36Man, it's so...
00:46:37Check out the spinners!
00:46:38The...
00:46:39The spinners!
00:46:40Oh...
00:46:41Oh my god!
00:46:42Oh sh...
00:46:43Oh sh...
00:46:44Yeah!
00:46:45Yeah!
00:46:46Oh...
00:46:47Oh yeah!
00:46:48Oh my god!
00:46:49Oh man, it's so beautiful!
00:46:50I just wanna rub up against it!
00:46:52Oh!
00:46:53It's...
00:46:54It's amazing!
00:46:55It's so...
00:46:56Jeez!
00:46:57Oh my god!
00:46:58Oh my god!
00:46:59Oh the honeys are gonna be wanting to put their books in my locker!
00:47:01Oh!
00:47:02Oh yeah!
00:47:03Oh yeah!
00:47:04That's the only way I can get through the day.
00:47:07Jeez man, don't drop a knot.
00:47:19Yeah, what are you doing?
00:47:21I'm trying to see if Lisa's still here.
00:47:23Why?
00:47:24Anything?
00:47:25No.
00:47:26She must really be gone.
00:47:29I didn't want to embarrass you Neil, but now I really don't care!
00:47:33I want my bras back!
00:47:35Guys, do you know what this means?
00:47:37To finally have the support you always dreamed of.
00:47:39No, that I can't sense her anymore.
00:47:41She must be getting around it somehow.
00:47:43Hmm.
00:47:44Maybe...
00:47:45You don't sense your ex-girlfriends, but you only sense people who think of you as an ex-boyfriend.
00:47:50Which would mean...
00:47:51If she's starting to like you again...
00:47:53You can't sense her.
00:47:55That's ridiculous.
00:47:56Get off the couch, Eric.
00:47:58But...
00:47:59No, no.
00:48:00No more ridiculous ideas.
00:48:01I don't know guys.
00:48:03I think I'm onto something.
00:48:04If she's thinking of you as a boyfriend and all the mushy stuff that comes along with that,
00:48:08I could definitely explain why.
00:48:09You can't sense her.
00:48:10I'd be lucky if she doesn't kill me.
00:48:12Let alone while thinking of me as a boyfriend when she doesn't.
00:48:14Oh god, this is divine.
00:48:16TV is so much nicer with luxury seating.
00:48:18You guys are so lame!
00:48:20All you do is watch TV!
00:48:22Neil, I'm leaving!
00:48:23Sure this time?
00:48:24Is she really going?
00:48:26This could be it, Neil.
00:48:28She might really be leaving.
00:48:29Who cares?
00:48:30Shh!
00:48:31Seriously, you gotta just chill out, man.
00:48:34Come on.
00:48:35Shh!
00:48:36Just relax.
00:48:37Be happy for once.
00:48:38Matt, will you just...
00:48:39Shh!
00:48:42Oh shit!
00:48:43She's coming in.
00:48:48Do something.
00:48:49You want me to do?
00:48:50Lock the door.
00:48:51It is locked.
00:48:52Grayson!
00:48:56Come on, Eric!
00:48:57Help!
00:48:58I don't want to impede their lock.
00:48:59Eric!
00:49:00I thought you said this was locked.
00:49:02I thought it was locked.
00:49:03Guys, it is locked.
00:49:04I locked it.
00:49:05The door is clearly not locked.
00:49:08Fucking door!
00:49:10Fucking slumlord!
00:49:13Damn it, Lisa!
00:49:14Just go away!
00:49:15You guys, it's just me!
00:49:16Scott?
00:49:19Jeez, what the hell was that about?
00:49:21Sorry, I forgot you were coming.
00:49:22Why didn't you call?
00:49:23I did call.
00:49:24You weren't picking up your phone.
00:49:25I mean, we even called the house phone, too.
00:49:26We?
00:49:27Oh, great.
00:49:28That's it.
00:49:29I'm done.
00:49:30What's wrong, Matt?
00:49:31Shannon?
00:49:32Yeah, we had the double date tonight, remember?
00:49:34What's with the security?
00:49:35Lisa's got a bee in her bonnet.
00:49:38A bee in her bonnet?
00:49:39Yeah, like she's pissed off.
00:49:41Oh, why didn't you just say that?
00:49:42What did you do to her?
00:49:45Me?
00:49:46I didn't do anything.
00:49:47Well, you must have, otherwise she wouldn't be mad.
00:49:50Why do I have to say it like that?
00:49:51Because if you didn't start something, or just listen to her, then she wouldn't be flipping
00:49:55out right now.
00:49:56She's crazy!
00:49:57Why would I-
00:49:58Dude, no.
00:49:59Don't.
00:50:00Sometimes it's just easier.
00:50:02Good boy.
00:50:04Now shall we?
00:50:05I don't want to be a third wheel.
00:50:07I'm fine just watching TV.
00:50:08Come on, we have tickets already.
00:50:10Why don't you just beg Lisa for her forgiveness and smooth it over with some flowers and chocolate?
00:50:15Yeah, this can still work out.
00:50:17Um, you know what, Shannon?
00:50:18Maybe we can cancel tonight.
00:50:19I mean, there are other things we can do.
00:50:21No!
00:50:22No!
00:50:23We're not just going to-
00:50:24Girl!
00:50:25It's been like this all day, Eric?
00:50:29Yep.
00:50:30It's not so bad.
00:50:31I just think Lisa and Neil aren't completely over.
00:50:33Wait, they broke up?
00:50:35Supposedly.
00:50:36I think that right now, they're more concerned with what each other thinks of the other.
00:50:42What?
00:50:43Neil thinks Lisa wants to kill him.
00:50:46Oh.
00:50:47Would she?
00:50:49I think she still loves him.
00:50:51But Matt would say otherwise.
00:50:53Matt, huh?
00:50:54It's not, huh?
00:51:01That's not those hands.
00:51:06There you go, Shannon.
00:51:21Lost your couch privileges, huh?
00:51:23Yeah.
00:51:24You, uh, do know there were chairs here, right?
00:51:27We can't use those.
00:51:28That would break with tradition.
00:51:34So...
00:51:36This is it?
00:51:37Listen, I don't know how you slipped past her defenses, but you should be on some double trouble date with Neil and Lisa.
00:51:42But she screwed that up, and now you're sitting here with us. Enjoy the privilege.
00:51:45Wow, I didn't mean to offend your child, Matt.
00:51:48I just wanted to shed a little light on this matter of obsession, and not a light coming from a box.
00:51:52No, you just wanted us to know that you're against our TV-watching ways. What's so wrong with this?
00:51:56What do you got here?
00:51:57Pizza pie. It's for a TV-watching experience. You want some?
00:52:00No, thanks.
00:52:01I was talking to Scott.
00:52:03So, Neil, don't you think you should see what Lisa's doing?
00:52:06He's fine right here. Watches some top-notch programming.
00:52:09I was talking to Neil.
00:52:10Oh.
00:52:11I really don't think it's such a good idea. Besides, Matt says that this is for the best.
00:52:14Well, Matt also thinks that toasted bread has fewer calories.
00:52:18The toaster burned some of them away.
00:52:20This is what I'm trying to say.
00:52:21That toasted bread has fewer calories?
00:52:24No. Then Neil shouldn't be led around by Matt.
00:52:26I'm leading him around.
00:52:27Oh, yeah? Well, then why doesn't Neil try getting back together with her?
00:52:31She told me things were really heating up between you two.
00:52:33Yeah, I bet they were heating up.
00:52:34What is that supposed to mean?
00:52:35Look, girls think every relationship is some kind of firework show.
00:52:38Like, every love is supposed to be a set of rose petal trails and poems.
00:52:41It's a fabrication by the media, depicting a world of rainbows and lollipops,
00:52:44making it real tough on guys everywhere.
00:52:46Sometimes guys just want to hang out with guys, kick it back, shoot the shit.
00:52:49What is so wrong with that?
00:52:51If guys worked a little harder at what they claim to love,
00:52:54then there wouldn't be trouble in Loveland.
00:52:56Guys are too preoccupied with what their next meal is or when the next TV show is on
00:53:01to give a damn at a relationship.
00:53:03Hey.
00:53:04Is that my Scott?
00:53:05That's because Scott is whipped beyond belief.
00:53:07No, he's not.
00:53:08He totally is.
00:53:09He got him whipped to be the boy you want him to be.
00:53:12Matt, you're just jealous.
00:53:15Yeah.
00:53:16Yeah, sure.
00:53:17I want to be just like Scott.
00:53:18I read your book the other day, by the way.
00:53:19The Whipping Boy.
00:53:20You don't read books, Matt.
00:53:22Good one, Eric.
00:53:23Scott, tell him you're not whipped.
00:53:25Scott.
00:53:26What?
00:53:27Tell him.
00:53:28I'm not whipped.
00:53:30See?
00:53:31Wow.
00:53:32Yeah, you proved me wrong.
00:53:34That was kind of gross.
00:53:36What?
00:53:37You just bent over backwards for her, Scott.
00:53:40I thought you were going to put up a struggle or something, but you snapped like a twig bridge.
00:53:45Oh, I did not bend for her.
00:53:48Dude, you totally did.
00:53:49No, he didn't.
00:53:51Scott, stand up for yourself.
00:53:53I didn't, guys.
00:53:55Jeez.
00:53:56Scott.
00:53:57Stop.
00:53:58I'm sorry you have to see this, Eric.
00:54:00This is not a good model for a growing boy.
00:54:02Matt, you are something else.
00:54:04You think that you're the ringleader now that Neil is out of a girlfriend.
00:54:07Well, he didn't make her flip out.
00:54:09Yeah, well, he might as well have.
00:54:11Matt's sense of being in a relationship is that he's made out with a couple of MD more times than he needs to.
00:54:16You have no-
00:54:17Me what?
00:54:18It's sort of unsettling knowing that this couch has seen more ass than you ever will.
00:54:23You have no idea what you're talking about.
00:54:28Oh, no?
00:54:29Have I struck a nerve with you, Matt?
00:54:31I just want you to get a little taste of your own medicine.
00:54:33She's got you-
00:54:34Shut up, Eric.
00:54:35Oh, that's original.
00:54:37Pick on a little guy to boost yourself up.
00:54:39Are you done yet?
00:54:40Do you like it?
00:54:41Like what?
00:54:43The satisfaction of making other people's lives feel broken and imperfect, thus completing your own.
00:54:52Come on, Shannon.
00:54:53No.
00:54:54I just think we've had these tickets forever, and Matt's gone and ruined Neil's relationship for his own satisfaction.
00:55:00I didn't ruin anything.
00:55:02Well, you did tell him to start trying to lead his life without Lisa.
00:55:05I didn't make the decision for him.
00:55:06But you had a big influence.
00:55:08I'm just trying to bring that to light.
00:55:10That's what I've been hearing, but Matt over here is too deaf and dumb to take it to heart.
00:55:15Yeah, if I thought what you said made any sort of sense, I wouldn't do this.
00:55:18Do what?
00:55:19Now you see, what we have here is the beautiful Wister skyline, covered in trees.
00:55:23But thanks to the saving grace of the Asian Longhorn Beetle, these god-awful obstructions will soon be gone.
00:55:28Forever.
00:55:29Come on, get out of here. I'm working on that damn thing.
00:55:33Anthony, you got the lowest score on the test. I'm afraid you'll never be a doctor.
00:55:38Wow!
00:55:40Cal! Cal! Give me your diploma!
00:55:42You wouldn't have a hot damn camera.
00:55:44Captain freakin' video.
00:55:47Alright, are you done now?
00:55:48Yo, this ain't your grandma's show!
00:55:50It's D.A.V.A!
00:55:52Just call up and we'll do shit!
00:55:541-800-D.A.V.A!
00:55:56What? That's not enough numbers?
00:55:58Put a pound sign in there!
00:56:00Anywhere! We'll figure it out!
00:56:02D.A.V.A!
00:56:03D.A.V.A!
00:56:05Hmm, now is my chance.
00:56:09Scott and Shannon never played this before.
00:56:11They won't know what hit them.
00:56:13What if I don't make it?
00:56:15I will.
00:56:16Let's do it.
00:56:18I sure could use a drink.
00:56:35What?
00:56:42How?
00:56:43Take the walk, Eric.
00:56:44I'm sorry, Eric.
00:56:45You know you don't have to do this.
00:56:47Matt says it's the rules.
00:56:49I was the last one to touch my nose.
00:56:51Matt also says that dogs roll around in the dirt for minerals.
00:56:55Really? Well then how do they get such nice shiny coats then?
00:56:58The point is you don't have to be listening to him.
00:57:01Yeah, maybe.
00:57:03But this is how it is.
00:57:09See, I didn't make that choice for him.
00:57:11Well you could have influenced him to make the right decision.
00:57:14What is right anyway?
00:57:15He's got you there.
00:57:16Scott, don't team up with him.
00:57:18Neil, haven't you had enough of this?
00:57:21I don't think this situation is improving.
00:57:23Why aren't you listening to Eric?
00:57:25Eric?
00:57:26I tried and it just stirred up some old flames.
00:57:28Maybe I don't think Lisa's ever going to change.
00:57:30Besides, what's wrong with all this?
00:57:31This?
00:57:32This slump of mindlessness?
00:57:35Hey, watch it, alright?
00:57:36You're treading on thin ice.
00:57:37This is my sphere of entertainment you're talking about.
00:57:39Sphere of entertainment?
00:57:40Don't make it sound so legal.
00:57:41This place has been tuned to perform at its peak level.
00:57:44You blocked the windows with posters.
00:57:46Well there is a nasty glare without them.
00:57:48You have a giant ass remote that you talk to.
00:57:50Hey, whoa!
00:57:51Don't talk about Howie that way.
00:57:52Yeah, he's family.
00:57:53I'm just saying that this sphere isn't offering an environment to grow.
00:57:57Come on, Shannon.
00:57:58It's kind of nice.
00:57:59You know, it's quiet, quaint.
00:58:00I mean, we don't really sit around like this that often.
00:58:02We're always doing... stuff.
00:58:05Right.
00:58:06This is why I don't let you watch TV.
00:58:07It sucks you in.
00:58:08That's why I don't let you go back to Lisa.
00:58:10See?
00:58:11You are holding him back.
00:58:12She's just going to continue to hate and hurt until she gets her stuff back.
00:58:14Then why don't you just give it all back then?
00:58:16Yeah, lure her back here and just smack her.
00:58:18You want me to go to jail, dude?
00:58:19Hey, just don't call me, remember?
00:58:21Matt, you're terrible.
00:58:22I mean, aren't there equal rights nowadays?
00:58:24Oh, you would say that in a cave, man.
00:58:27Hey, just saying.
00:58:28Well, you shouldn't.
00:58:30Say something, Scott.
00:58:32Uh, yeah.
00:58:33Yeah, Matt, don't say such things.
00:58:37I'm just saying.
00:58:39If I had to deal with someone like Lisa, they could take a smack every now and then when
00:58:42they're out of line.
00:58:43Equal rights means equal opportunity to defend oneself.
00:58:45Yeah, I don't think it works like that.
00:58:47I mean, just cause you, you know, spend time with your lover, you know, listen to her
00:58:51wants and needs, or even just put some tampons in your pocket for her once in a while.
00:58:56Doesn't give you the right to beat a woman.
00:58:59Tampons in the pocket?
00:59:02Dude.
00:59:03What?
00:59:04There are just some lines that shouldn't be crossed.
00:59:06You put tampons in your pocket.
00:59:08You make him put tampons in his pocket.
00:59:10When we go hiking or wherever a person would be a burden.
00:59:14Well, touch them!
00:59:15Dude, that's not the point.
00:59:16That's not the point.
00:59:17That's a violation of your personal space.
00:59:18You're violating his personal space.
00:59:19What is the big deal?
00:59:21What if you get pulled over by the cops or something and they search you?
00:59:24You're gonna look like some kind of weirdo.
00:59:26You gotta defend your limits, dude.
00:59:27I mean, with girls, you gotta be ruthless.
00:59:28Oh, is that panning out for you?
00:59:30It's not like you're looking like a dead dog carrier.
00:59:32Scott, don't!
00:59:33Oh, it's about her?
00:59:35Do tell.
00:59:36Happened back in Beantown.
00:59:37Shannon carries around dead dogs, you carry around dead dogs.
00:59:40It's more than just that.
00:59:42How can it be more than that?
00:59:44It has to do with my friend's dog.
00:59:46While I was dog-sitting it, it died.
00:59:48I put the dog into some luggage to take it to the vet, and as I was getting onto the subway,
00:59:53a guy stopped to help me because I was struggling.
00:59:56And why am I even telling you this?
00:59:58Oh, you're too far in.
00:59:59You can't stop now.
01:00:00I don't want Matt to hear it.
01:00:01What?
01:00:02Just cover your ears.
01:00:04Well, he asked me why I had such heavy luggage, and I told him it was computer parts.
01:00:10And when I got to my stop, I went to thank him, and he punched me in the face, and he took the luggage, and he ran.
01:00:17He punched you in the face?
01:00:19Damn it, Matt!
01:00:20Oh my god.
01:00:21He really punched you in the face?
01:00:22Yeah, he did.
01:00:23I couldn't believe it either.
01:00:25Well, what did the guy seem like? Was he sketchy looking like?
01:00:27No, the guy was in a suit and tie. It was totally unexpected.
01:00:30You.
01:00:31I think I must think you're some kind of freak carrying around dead dogs.
01:00:34Oh my god.
01:00:35You're going to get remembered as the girl who carries around dead dogs forever.
01:00:38It just goes to show you that men are up to no good.
01:00:41No, it just goes to show you that you should have defended your limits and told your friends to go pick up their own damn dead dog.
01:00:46See, Neil, this is why you shouldn't be getting back with Lisa.
01:00:48She's just going to end up killing your dog.
01:00:50Well, I don't have a dog.
01:00:51Yeah, and you don't have tampons in your pockets either.
01:00:53That's true.
01:00:54I don't want that.
01:00:55Scott, let's salvage this night and go see that play.
01:00:58Oh, do we have to?
01:01:00Yes, Scott.
01:01:01Look at this place.
01:01:02What does it have that makes you want to stay in this dump?
01:01:05The cave of entertainment.
01:01:06Come on, Scott.
01:01:07I'm done here.
01:01:08You're blocking the damn TV.
01:01:09Scott, we're leaving.
01:01:13You know what?
01:01:14I think I want to stay.
01:01:15Call your girlfriend to go out with you.
01:01:17Excuse me?
01:01:20Dude, reconsider.
01:01:22I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Matt, but I have worked too hard on this one to let some brain box pose a bigger influence on him than me.
01:01:29Just go.
01:01:30Just go.
01:01:31Save us.
01:01:32This could get worse.
01:01:33I just want to watch TV with the guys.
01:01:35Yeah, you want that?
01:01:36Yeah, I do.
01:01:37Yeah?
01:01:38Yeah.
01:01:39Grab your ear then.
01:01:40And you two, you better stop watching this thing before you choke on stupid.
01:01:59Eric, we're leaving.
01:02:01What?
01:02:02Larry Singer is on next.
01:02:03We love him.
01:02:04Do you really like being here with them?
01:02:07You know Shannon, sometimes it's just easier.
01:02:10Yeah, and cheaper sometimes too.
01:02:12Scott, we're going.
01:02:13Yes, ma'am.
01:02:16Boys.
01:02:19We have a unique bond here.
01:02:20Maybe you just can't see it.
01:02:22I just know what works for me and Scott.
01:02:25But I want you to think about what you could be missing in the rest of the world.
01:02:30We're making our own memories here.
01:02:31What's so good about the rest of the world?
01:02:33What about starting a relationship and having a family?
01:02:37I have a family.
01:02:39One where their IQ passes their age.
01:02:42I like my friends.
01:02:44You like your couch spot too.
01:02:46Yeah.
01:02:49I'm just saying, I think Matt's been shaken up with a woman on his turf.
01:02:53Maybe with his defenses down you can get your point across to Neil?
01:02:56Eric!
01:02:57Singer's starting!
01:02:58Coming!
01:02:59Bye Shannon.
01:03:05Hey Eric!
01:03:07How's the MD?
01:03:08Just fine, Matt.
01:03:10Gotta pick your battles, man.
01:03:13So they gone or what?
01:03:15Yeah, they're gone.
01:03:17Man, I was getting worried.
01:03:18I hate having to defend my sphere from women.
01:03:20Matt, what's a chode?
01:03:22What?
01:03:23Before.
01:03:24You called me a chode.
01:03:25What's that?
01:03:27Ah, jeez.
01:03:28Well, it's like a...
01:03:30It's like a...
01:03:31It's a chode.
01:03:34It's like, um...
01:03:36It's sort of like...
01:03:38Kind of...
01:03:40Down here?
01:03:41Or something?
01:03:42Like, I guess...
01:03:43What the hell is that?
01:03:44That doesn't tell me shit.
01:03:45Well, screw you. It's hard to describe.
01:03:46Sure as hell try.
01:03:47No way. I'm just taking a page out of your book.
01:03:49You can't do that.
01:03:50I just need you stupid chode.
01:03:52What do you even want to know, anyway?
01:03:53Because I keep a list of everything you call me on my blog.
01:03:56I can't even tell if you're serious or not.
01:03:58You know what's kind of reminding me of a fish head?
01:04:01You know, a chode of a fish head.
01:04:04What?
01:04:05Thanks, Neil.
01:04:06You're always there to help me out.
01:04:07Alright, look. I got it.
01:04:08You remember Brian from school?
01:04:10Who?
01:04:11Brian. He was all, like, tiny and deformed.
01:04:13Had, like, short arms and fingers and shit like that.
01:04:15Oh, yeah.
01:04:16Didn't he have some rare deformation that screwed with his bones?
01:04:19I don't know.
01:04:20Anyway, he's chodey.
01:04:21Huh.
01:04:22Well, I'm still not really clear on what a chode is, but I guess I'll just think of Brian whenever I hear it.
01:04:27Great.
01:04:28Poor guy can't go one day without someone using his physical deformations as an example.
01:04:31If it gets used as an example, it helps the learning process.
01:04:34He shouldn't always be painted in a negative light like that.
01:04:37Now Eric's gonna think of Brian every time he hears chode.
01:04:39Sorry.
01:04:40Object association is the best way to remember it.
01:04:42That's how I do it.
01:04:43Why, do you associate girls with, like, knives or paint or something?
01:04:46No way.
01:04:47Above all that, my wallet.
01:04:48I just gotta remember how much girls I actually require.
01:04:51Unless you find one at a good rate.
01:04:53Of course.
01:04:54You ever think that letting a girl into your life might actually change it for the better?
01:04:59No.
01:05:00Couldn't picture man with a significant other.
01:05:02Unless she was totally succumbing to his demands.
01:05:04Unable to stay quiet.
01:05:06Unable to react quickly to changing circumstances.
01:05:09Like a computer.
01:05:11So you're saying I need a robot girlfriend?
01:05:13Oh yeah.
01:05:14I'm sure your thumb drive will fit her USB port just fine.
01:05:17At least I'm not like Brian.
01:05:19Chode?
01:05:20See?
01:05:21Come on.
01:05:22Look, all I'm saying is he's so short and squat, it reminds me of a dwarf.
01:05:25I thought he was a chode.
01:05:27Same thing.
01:05:28Just my thumb drive functions way better than his tunican dick.
01:05:31What?
01:05:32Dwarves are so chodey and squat and short, they gotta have tunican dicks.
01:05:36I'll never look at Gimli the same way again.
01:05:38Yeah, just a fact of life.
01:05:40Poor guy.
01:05:41It's gotta be tough handling a stunned nose like that.
01:05:43He probably deals with it the same way we all deal with our small problems.
01:05:47Heh.
01:05:48Readin' a book.
01:05:50Heh.
01:05:51Just kidding.
01:05:52You know what?
01:05:53Let's bring him out.
01:05:54Let's bring him out here.
01:05:55Yeah!
01:05:56Yeah!
01:05:57Oh!
01:05:58Oh!
01:05:59Bullshit!
01:06:00Bullshit!
01:06:01Bullshit!
01:06:02Bullshit!
01:06:03He's my man!
01:06:04He's my man!
01:06:05He's my man!
01:06:06Oh!
01:06:07Oh!
01:06:08Oh!
01:06:09Oh!
01:06:10That's resolution!
01:06:11That is res-
01:06:12F***ing resolution.
01:06:13This is him.
01:06:14Oh!
01:06:15Oh!
01:06:16Oh!
01:06:17Oh!
01:06:18Oh!
01:06:19Oh!
01:06:20Oh!
01:06:21Oh!
01:06:22Oh!
01:06:23Oh!
01:06:24Oh!
01:06:25Oh!
01:06:26Oh, fuck!
01:06:27Oh!
01:06:28Oh!
01:06:29Oh!
01:06:30Oh!
01:06:31Oh!
01:06:32I'm throwing this ch...
01:06:33F***!
01:06:34Don't bat!
01:06:35No!
01:06:36We'll be right back.
01:06:39Wow.
01:06:40There's so much swearing on this show.
01:06:42Why do they have to beep it out?
01:06:43Yeah, I know.
01:06:44We know what they're saying.
01:06:45Why can't they just let it go?
01:06:46It's probably just a cultural preservation thing.
01:06:48To keep the public away from it for as long as fucking possible.
01:06:52Yeah, but it cuts off the dialogue and it makes everyone sound like a robot.
01:06:55Well in that case, R2-D2 probably cusses like a fucking sailor.
01:06:58All it does is bloop and bleep.
01:07:01What?
01:07:02Think about it.
01:07:03If all the other bots could speak, why wouldn't they put voice modulators into the R2 models?
01:07:06He probably didn't need one.
01:07:07I mean, wasn't his job just to talk to the ships?
01:07:09The R2 models must have been programmed to cuss like hell and to preserve the culture of the galaxy.
01:07:13They were all bleeped.
01:07:14So you're saying that every time R2-D2 makes any noises, he's cussing like a truck driver?
01:07:18R2, shut down all the garbage compactors on the detention levels.
01:07:21No, shut them all down!
01:07:23Oh, hell no!
01:07:24I'm not sticking my fucking dick into another fucking computer.
01:07:26Last time I did that, I got a fucking virus, you son of a bitch.
01:07:29You hacked that shit yourself, you asshole.
01:07:31Wow.
01:07:32That's disturbing.
01:07:33Oh, right R2.
01:07:34We'll take care of everything.
01:07:35Yeah, you better you fuckhead.
01:07:36Seriously, what the fuck?
01:07:37I used to have my jets.
01:07:38Where'd the hell they go?
01:07:39I want my flamethrower back.
01:07:40I can't do shit with this little fucking taser thing I got.
01:07:41I used to fucking fly, can you believe that?
01:07:42You have any idea how fucking annoying that is to roll around when I could fucking fly at
01:07:43one point?
01:07:44Goddammit.
01:07:45You tell them to suck my fucking little metal dick.
01:07:46I can't do shit with this little taser thing I got.
01:07:49I used to fucking fly, can you believe that?
01:07:51You have any idea how fucking annoying that is to roll around when I could fucking fly at one point?
01:07:55Goddammit, you tell them to suck my fucking little metal dick.
01:08:00If only you used your time for something more constructive.
01:08:02Yeah, if I had 10% of the free time you have,
01:08:05I'd have like 7 extra hours of my day.
01:08:08You're saying my days have 70 hours in them?
01:08:10Yeah.
01:08:11Yeah, you're that lazy.
01:08:13Okay, whatever.
01:08:14Can I get back on the couch now?
01:08:16Sorry, Eric. The couch is for winners.
01:08:18Nah, he's right.
01:08:20Bull. Shit.
01:08:22I am sick and tired of this, Matt. You are not right.
01:08:25Turn off the TV.
01:08:26Fuck no.
01:08:27Hey, hey, what the-
01:08:28I've tried to be nice, but I don't think I can take it anymore.
01:08:31Eric, turn to the fucking TV!
01:08:32Quiet!
01:08:33Do you hear that?
01:08:38No, it's completely quiet.
01:08:39Listen.
01:08:40God.
01:08:41It is quiet.
01:08:47Maybe Lisa's really gone.
01:08:48Exactly, they can watch TV in peace.
01:08:50No, Matt.
01:08:50I have to do this.
01:08:52Maybe she's still here.
01:08:55And maybe she's not.
01:08:56Maybe we should go check.
01:08:58I still think there's something here, Neil.
01:09:00You and Lisa have been longing for each other, but you express it through your anger.
01:09:03It's too dangerous.
01:09:04This could all be part of a plan.
01:09:05Or in your case, it's paranoia.
01:09:07I listened to you before, Eric.
01:09:08What's going to change now?
01:09:09You, Neil.
01:09:10You have to change.
01:09:11You can't keep wanting what other people want you to want.
01:09:13You have to want whatever it is that you really do want.
01:09:16What?
01:09:17A life living fear is a life half-lived.
01:09:19It sounds to me like you don't want Lisa to be gone.
01:09:21Aren't you at least curious whether she wants you back or not?
01:09:24Or do you just want to watch some more TV?
01:09:26No way, Neil.
01:09:27Look.
01:09:28This is for the better, alright?
01:09:29You can watch way more TV without her.
01:09:30Don't you want more than that, Neil?
01:09:32I do.
01:09:33What if she's waiting for you right now?
01:09:34I have to go get her.
01:09:35Well, she's certainly not going to come to you.
01:09:37She's been trying, but you keep the door locked.
01:09:39Shittily.
01:09:41What do you want, Eric?
01:09:42It doesn't matter what I want.
01:09:43I just want to help you make the right choice.
01:09:47We should check if she's still here.
01:09:49Matt, go get the door.
01:09:50Eric, check that window.
01:09:51I'll get this one.
01:09:52Ready? Go.
01:10:00Clear.
01:10:01Clear.
01:10:08All clear here, too.
01:10:10I guess she's really gone.
01:10:12I wonder where she went.
01:10:13Who cares?
01:10:14Seriously, dude.
01:10:15It's probably just post-traumatic breakup residue or something.
01:10:17It'll pass.
01:10:18Look, we got a good thing here.
01:10:20Let's just keep it forever, yeah?
01:10:21I just thought I was onto something.
01:10:23Jeez, Bruce, thanks for coming out here on such short notice to see me.
01:10:28I know you have that deadline for that new office building next Monday and your car just got towed and-
01:10:33Hey, I only had to take two buses and a cab to get here.
01:10:36You're worth it.
01:10:37Thanks.
01:10:38I just really needed to talk to someone.
01:10:40I can see that.
01:10:42You sounded distressed when I talked to her on the phone.
01:10:44Yeah, I don't really want to talk about that.
01:10:47I just want to talk to someone else about anything else.
01:10:50Okay, uh, how about politics?
01:10:53No way!
01:10:54Politics are terrible!
01:10:55It's about who has the most pull and the most money.
01:10:57It's not even a representation of the people anymore.
01:11:00Don't even get me started.
01:11:01Okay, fine.
01:11:02Um, how about superpowers?
01:11:05Oh yeah?
01:11:06What about them?
01:11:08I've just always had this theory that everyone has a secret power hidden inside of them.
01:11:13You mean how Bruce Wayne is really Batman?
01:11:16No, even less than that.
01:11:18I just think that everyone has something inside of them, like a power or a talent.
01:11:23Besides, Batman isn't a superhero.
01:11:26So, it's something you're born with?
01:11:28Yeah.
01:11:29Maybe something trivial, like the ability to always know where your car keys are.
01:11:33Or maybe something so great that the government has to snatch you up and erase your existence.
01:11:38But I think everyone has something.
01:11:40Right.
01:11:41Surely you have some evidence to back this up?
01:11:44Well, take my power, for instance.
01:11:47Your power to make little babies cry by looking at them?
01:11:50No, silly.
01:11:52I have the power to instill desire in females.
01:11:55Oh, you're serious?
01:12:01Fat lot that did you.
01:12:03You're still a virgin.
01:12:05That's by choice.
01:12:07Well, how come you've never used this on me?
01:12:11Because it goes against my superhero code of ethics.
01:12:14I would never enchant a taken woman.
01:12:16Let's not bring him into this.
01:12:17Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it.
01:12:19I was just trying to prove my power.
01:12:21Well, I'll be honest with you.
01:12:22You're not doing a very good job.
01:12:24It seems like all men think they have this power by force or wealth.
01:12:28It's not too attractive if you ask me.
01:12:31I enjoy a man who needs his woman.
01:12:35Who can't sleep if she's not next to him.
01:12:38Uh, uh...
01:12:39A pushover.
01:12:40A romantic.
01:12:41Huh?
01:12:42Hey!
01:12:43Aha!
01:12:44Did you notice anything strange about that?
01:12:47That people in the city would step on you as soon as they look at you?
01:12:51No.
01:12:52What we just saw was a byproduct of Homeless Al's superpower.
01:12:56His power?
01:12:57To live off baked beans and brandy?
01:13:00No.
01:13:01Judging by his survival rate, Homeless Al has the ability to survive hypothermia every night.
01:13:06Which is a pretty good superpower for a homeless guy.
01:13:09But it comes at great cost.
01:13:11Ooh, the plot thickens.
01:13:13Yep.
01:13:14No one seems to notice him as they walk by.
01:13:16To the point where they stumble over him because he's practically invisible.
01:13:20A tragic superhero flaw.
01:13:22So instead of proving that everyone has a superpower, you just prove that everyone in the city is an asshole.
01:13:29Congratulations.
01:13:30Alright.
01:13:31Well, take Nelson here.
01:13:32Nelson?
01:13:33Ooh, did he share your power over women?
01:13:36No.
01:13:37No.
01:13:38Nelson has the ability to instantly transform his environment into a kung fu movie.
01:13:47I have yet to see it.
01:13:48But someday it will be a spectacle to behold.
01:13:51Okay.
01:13:52Let's say I believe you.
01:13:54What would my superpower be?
01:13:56I've always wanted to be in a musical.
01:13:58or blow up my ex-boyfriend with my brains.
01:14:01Well, that's radically different.
01:14:03Um, but how about something more useful?
01:14:06Like the ability to move on.
01:14:08Let go.
01:14:09Let go?
01:14:10Like, let go of my hands around his throat?
01:14:13No, I mean, turn the other cheek.
01:14:15Look to greener pastures.
01:14:17Go out with someone who thinks they're smart, funny, and beautiful.
01:14:21That'd be like giving up without a fight.
01:14:23Well, maybe that's someone who's right in front of you and you haven't even noticed
01:14:26it yet.
01:14:27Huh?
01:14:28Sorry, I was thinking.
01:14:30God, I must have hit you hard when he dumped you.
01:14:32Is that what he's telling people?
01:14:34I dumped him.
01:14:35What?
01:14:36Are you kidding me?
01:14:37Then why are you still stalking the poor bastard?
01:14:39Um, I can't say.
01:14:41Look, Lisa, I mean this in the nicest way possible.
01:14:44You need psychiatric help.
01:14:46The only reason that you still pursue someone, someone that you dumped, is that you have
01:14:51serious mental issues.
01:14:53Or that you still seriously like the person.
01:14:56I think you need to move on.
01:14:58Hmm.
01:14:59I never thought about it that way.
01:15:02You're right.
01:15:08Yeah?
01:15:09Yeah.
01:15:10I don't know how I could have been so blonde.
01:15:13Lisa, I...
01:15:15It was never about getting my stuff back.
01:15:18Thanks, Bruce.
01:15:24Lisa, wait!
01:15:25I...
01:15:27Fuck!
01:15:43Y...
01:15:44licorени
01:15:49...
01:15:53Cinq
01:16:07İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:16:37İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:17:07İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:17:37İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:17:39İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:17:41İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:17:43İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:17:45İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:17İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:19İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:21İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:23İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:25İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:27İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:29İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:31İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:33İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:35İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:37İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:39İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:41İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:43İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:18:45İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:19:15İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:19:45İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:20:15İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:20:45İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:20:46İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:20:47İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:20:48İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:20:49İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:20:50İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:20:51.
01:20:52.
01:20:53.
01:20:54.
01:20:55.
01:20:56.
01:20:57.
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01:20:59.
01:21:00.
01:21:01.
01:21:02.
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01:22:39.
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01:22:58.
01:22:59DONE
01:23:00good Neal.
01:23:01Now we can eat.
01:23:02Yeah.
01:23:03Fuck.
01:23:04Pfff.
01:23:05Pfff.
01:23:06Fuck.
01:23:07Pfff.
01:23:08Pfff.
01:23:09Pfff.
01:23:10Pfff.
01:23:11Pfff.
01:23:12Pfff.
01:23:13Pfff.
01:23:14Pfff.
01:23:15Pfff.
01:23:16Pfff.
01:23:17Pfff.
01:23:18Pfff.
01:23:19Pfff.
01:23:20Pfff.
01:23:21Pfff.
01:23:22Pfff.
01:23:23Pfff.
01:23:24Pfff.
01:23:25Pfff.
01:23:26Pfff.
01:23:27Pfff.
01:23:28Pfff.
01:23:29Pfff.
01:23:30Pfff.
01:23:31Pfff.
01:23:32Pfff.
01:23:33Pfff.
01:23:34Pfff.
01:23:35Pfff.
01:23:36Pfff.
01:23:37Pfff.
01:23:38Pfff.
01:23:39Pfff.
01:23:40Pfff.
01:23:41Pfff.
01:23:42Pfff.
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