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  • 9 hours ago
Kumail Nanjiani returns to the stage with Night Thoughts, a sharp, introspective, and laugh-out-loud stand-up special exploring the strange, hilarious corners of the mind after dark. Stream it on December 19 only on Hulu.

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TV
Transcript
00:00Watching your movie made me want to get therapy.
00:02Oh, that's good.
00:03That's clever.
00:05Do not get weird about the muscles.
00:07These muscles can't hurt you.
00:09These muscles are decorative.
00:11Never been in a fight because I'm super good at apologizing.
00:15I am an immigrant.
00:17I am.
00:18Are there any other immigrants here?
00:21OK, what you can't do is point at someone else.
00:27I thought I was happy.
00:29And then every now and then, I'd get very angry out of nowhere.
00:32I washed bananas in the sink.
00:35Anyone remember what it was like buying marijuana before it was legal?
00:40You had to go to a guy's house, pretend to be friends with a guy.
00:44You had to, like, watch a little bit of The Matrix with him.
00:48You guys get night thoughts?
00:50When you're laying in bed in the middle of the night,
00:52and you can't sleep, and your brain's like,
00:54here's something new for you to worry about.
00:57Or you hadn't thought of that, it's because you're a little bit stupid.
01:01Night thoughts are like day thoughts, except they hate you.
01:04This one's really keeping me up at night.
01:06White people, there's more.
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