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Oliver Hudson Gets Candid on Sex, Family Reconciliations and Anxiety in 'Just Like Us'
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00:00On this episode of Just Like Us, I sit down with Oliver Hudson as he stares down 50 and starts
00:06asking the big questions. We're always evolving and I am so interested in the human condition
00:11and especially my own. Trying to be better, trying to strive, trying not to placate, trying to put
00:20myself out there and not worry about what people think. A dad who's just hoping he's not screwing
00:25up his kids too much. I always say it's not about if we screw up our kids, it's about to what
00:29to greed. We're all trying our best. We're never going to get it right right. It's not
00:34a possibility. Perfection is a word that shouldn't even exist in the English language. I don't
00:39even know what is perfect. He opens up about the panic attacks that left him barely holding
00:43it together. I get into the city, sleep the night. I get into a cab. I'm puking. I'm like
00:49the cab out on the sidewalk. I'm just like a complete wreck. I remember sitting in the waiting
00:54room talking to my mom like, Mom, I don't know what to do. And gushes about how 20 years
00:59in. His marriage to Erin just keeps getting better. There's no one quite like Erin. I
01:06don't want to cry about all this. What are you doing, dude? And even at nearly 50, he still
01:11needs his mom, the one and only Goldie Hawn. I don't know who I would be without my mother.
01:16I mean, she is who I go to. She's still my mom. I'm almost 50 and she will always be my mom.
01:23Sometimes a guy called Ma.
01:29Meet Oliver Hudson, a name you might know from his classic Hollywood looks and charm that
01:34first caught Us Weekly's attention when he enjoyed a stint playing Katie Holmes' love interest
01:38on Dawson's Creek. But his talent has led to captivating roles in hit shows like Walls of
01:44Engagement and Nashville. He's also an accomplished broadcaster as co-host of the brilliant podcast
01:48sibling revelry with his sister, Kate Hudson. Yes, he is Hollywood royalty. His mom is Goldie
01:54Hawn and stepdad is Kurt Russell. But Oliver is more than just a famous last name. He's
01:59a passionate storyteller, a devoted father and an advocate for embracing vulnerability and
02:04de-stigmatizing mental health. Oliver has said that big stars are often perceived to have
02:09everything, but that doesn't mean everything is shiny and perfect and they have mental health
02:13issues too. And that we're all human beings. So he's perfect for our first guest of this video
02:19series. Today, we'll chat to Oliver about his joyful new role as host of the Gingerbread Land,
02:24the biggest little holiday competition, but also explore how he's navigated the pressures of the
02:29industry to finding his own voice beyond the shadow of his famous family. Welcome.
02:35Wow. Was I supposed to hear that?
02:37You were. Were you rushing?
02:38I need a copy of that because I'm going to use that for my bio.
02:44Okay. You're welcome. You're very welcome.
02:46That was the greatest introduction that I've ever had in my life, hands down. I mean,
02:50I got emotional at my own self.
02:53Well, you've done a lot of good work, so it was very easy to write.
02:56That was great.
02:57We'd like to open with a little ritual. We have some gingerbread here. So cheers.
03:02Cheers. So this show looks so super fun. What made you do it?
03:10I got a call about hosting. And it's something that I'd wanted to do for a while. And I'm not
03:20necessarily a manifester, even though that is like sort of the big buzzy thing right now. I manifested it.
03:25And actually on my podcast, I had someone who was in that field who comes from the science side of
03:34what manifestation really is. And it was very interesting. It wasn't like, oh, I want 24 inches
03:39of snow because I'm going to go skiing. I'm going to manifest that. It's not how it works. It's not
03:43magical that way. There's actually something, you know, scientific chemical that happens in our brain.
03:51So you put something out in the world and it comes back.
03:53Right, right. Exactly. But there's something that you're subconsciously reprogramming your brain to,
03:58you know, achieve certain things. And it may take a long time. Anyway, all that being said,
04:05in the last year, I've been thinking, man, I think I need to host because I love it. Number one,
04:11I think I can be good at it. I like the spontaneity of it. I get to be myself. And it was just this
04:17overall feeling of like, I think I can do that. And then boom, I get this call.
04:21I guess it's an extension of the work you've done on the podcast as well.
04:24I mean, yeah, exactly. I think you're right. I mean, that was part of the reason they listened
04:28to the show, the podcast. And I guess they could see that I could, you know, chat it up. And I got
04:37the offer on this gig and I was immediate. Yes, honestly, I was like, oh, this is fun.
04:42Are you a big holiday guy?
04:44Yeah, exactly. There was that as well. So my family is very traditional.
04:47And very much into Christmas. And, you know, when the opportunity arose to actually host
04:55something in the Christmas world, in the baking world as well, which I watch all the shows.
05:02You watch all the baking shows.
05:02I watch baking shows. I watch cooking shows, you know.
05:05I live with a baker, so I understand.
05:07Oh, do you?
05:08The risks of baking.
05:09Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, exactly. So it was just a perfect fit, honestly.
05:15Fantastic. So what are the holidays like in the Hudson household?
05:19Very fun, very festive, a lot of energy, you know, that is usually very positive.
05:27But, you know, you're a family, you know what I mean? Like, stuff happens.
05:31But for the most part, it's all positive stuff. It's all beautiful.
05:35And everyone's there. All the cousins, myself and Kate and Wyatt and all the kids.
05:41So it's a big family Christmas.
05:43Oh, yeah, it's big. And then, you know, Danny's family comes and this family comes.
05:47And my wife's parents come sometimes. And it's just a huge, huge thing.
05:52And do you have help or do you all pitch in?
05:54We all pitch in. I mean, we have some help, but not help help.
05:57Like, that's the whole idea. It's like, we sustain. We're self-sustaining.
06:03Like, we need to do our dishes and mom is on the kids.
06:05I mean, it's like a very typical tableau of what a family might look like.
06:09Like, their grandmother's saying, kids, take your bowls to the sink.
06:14You know, and then me as a dad saying, Wilder, yeah, take your bowls. What are you doing?
06:17So who does more washing up your cake? Because I saw there was an Instagram recently.
06:22Yeah, yeah. I'm going to say I do more washing. But my mom does. My mom washes dishes.
06:31Really?
06:31Yeah, she's so funny. She's just, I'm like, Mom, let me do it. Let me take care of it.
06:36And I got it, I got it, you know. But the kind of idea is if you cook, then you don't clean.
06:43I believe in that philosophy as well. We have that in our house.
06:47So I like that stars are just like us. They're splitting the chores.
06:52That's why I like to cook, because I'd rather cook than clean, I'll tell you that.
06:55That's great. Are there any traditions that you do as a family that you do every year,
06:58like the whole Hudson clan, that this is non-negotiable, we have to do this?
07:02Like games, baking?
07:03Yeah. Well, there's nothing sort of, there's nothing odd.
07:10Again, when I go back to the tradition, you know, it's very much Christmas Eve is big.
07:16That's when we do the Christmas tree, lights, ornaments. Everyone starts drinking.
07:22Christmas music is on. And kids are back from skiing, and it's just got that sort of log cabin, old school vibe.
07:33Light the fire and do the night before Christmas. We read the book.
07:37And someone gets to read the book. We choose who's reading the book that year.
07:40Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it goes way off the rails, because someone might have been drinking too much.
07:44I love that you've got these four famous actors in the book. Do you fight over parts?
07:49No, no, I know. Well, sometimes it's them. Sometimes it's like an uncle.
07:52You know, sometimes it's one of the kids, you know, if they're old enough.
07:55I mean, we kind of just decide in the moment.
07:58At which point, we have another family member who is playing Santa.
08:03Now, whoever's going to play Santa either has no kids or their kids are too old to believe now, because they have to run out into the backyard.
08:13Once Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night is read, we're done, boom, the kids go to this bay window.
08:20And Santa, you hear his bells, and he's running as a silhouette, you know, in the lights and the trees.
08:25And he's, oh, oh, oh, and he's running as a thing, and the kids are freaking out, screaming.
08:30Some of them are crying, because they have to go to sleep, because they know if they're not asleep, Santa won't bring them gifts.
08:37So everyone's, it's just chaos.
08:38I have video of it every year, where it's just complete chaos.
08:41They're like, oh, my God, it's Santa.
08:44And the kids are like, no.
08:45And some of them are crying, like, oh, you're going to give me presents.
08:48It's like, go upstairs.
08:49I mean, and that has been in our family for 40 years.
08:51I used to be the kid as the oldest.
08:54I'm the oldest.
08:55So it must be emotional seeing it all happen.
08:56Oh, yeah, it's amazing.
08:57And then, you know, Wyatt's got his babies now.
08:59And so it's just fun to watch this whole thing continue and just become generational.
09:04Oh, that's so lovely.
09:05So with the show, did you put on any weight with all this gingerbread around?
09:09Well, I would have.
09:11But although everything was edible, you weren't really eating it, you know, because, and I'm like you.
09:18I don't know if you saw the show, but it was, I didn't know what I was getting into.
09:24I didn't realize that it was going to be like these architectural masterpieces.
09:29You know, it's seven feet by seven feet is what the end game looks like.
09:33And they've built out an entire community.
09:35And it's beautiful.
09:37I mean, it is artwork.
09:38It's not necessarily like, let me crack that off and eat it.
09:41I mean, Joanna Gaines is one of your judges on the final round.
09:44I don't expect anything less, but she's demanding it to be a modern farmhouse with clean lines.
09:50Yeah, no, well, that's what was fun about it is that there were different tableaus.
09:54And each team were assigned that.
09:56So there was like coastal.
09:58There is mid-century modern.
10:00There's Mediterranean.
10:02There is chalet.
10:04I think there was one more.
10:06Maybe I said all five.
10:06I'm not sure.
10:07But yeah, so everyone had their own sort of genre that they had to work in.
10:12And those were their parameters.
10:14So we had it all.
10:16We had the fine lines.
10:17We had the architects who were working.
10:19I mean, actual architects.
10:20One woman was from Colombia who was a studied school architect who got sort of screwed over by COVID.
10:29And so she decided to take her skills and put it into gingerbread making.
10:32And that's what she does.
10:33So you have that build and then you have sort of the more emotional builds that aren't necessarily so precise, but you want to shrink yourself down and go live in there.
10:42Oh, wow.
10:44What was with our emotional moments?
10:46Oh, yeah.
10:46That's what was very surprising for me.
10:49I was like, oh, this is going to be great.
10:50I'm going to go host a baking show and I can be funny and weird and dig into personal experiences.
10:57And I love that stuff.
10:58That's why I love doing my podcast.
11:01I had no clue that I was going to get weepy three times during this show because they care so much.
11:07It's about the people and the emotional experience.
11:09It's the people, yeah.
11:10When you watch baking shows and the investment and the stories.
11:12Yes, it means a lot, you know, to them.
11:15And there's national champions who were on our show.
11:18I didn't realize there was even a national championship baking for gingerbread.
11:22But, oh, yeah, I learned a lot about the whole gingerbread community.
11:25You are now an expert, an official expert.
11:27I am an expert, yes.
11:30So how was Brad Goretzky as a judge?
11:32How was he as a judge?
11:34Was he like demanding like chic drapes?
11:36No, no, I know.
11:37Yeah, he was cool.
11:38Yeah, I've actually known him a little bit, you know, through, I think, my sister and my friend Rashida.
11:44But, yeah, he was definitely, he looked good.
11:49He was very put together.
11:50But, no, his judging was spot on.
11:52All the judges were very spot on, you know, and they did bring their own unique perspectives to it.
11:58They were asked to judge that way.
11:59But, you know, they were moved by some of it.
12:03And, interestingly enough, I don't want to give anything away, but I think emotion, the feels, superseded, you know, the precision.
12:14Yeah, it's about people, not about lessons.
12:17You want to, when you're looking at gingerbread, yes, you can appreciate how beautiful it is.
12:21But it's Christmas, it's gingerbread.
12:23You want to feel something, you know.
12:26Joanna said that the show's about joy and wonder.
12:29Wonder's a very strange emotion.
12:31Is there anything that gives you wonder now and still?
12:35Oh, well, I think your children are always bringing wonder to your life.
12:40And wonder is usually a positive connotation.
12:43But with your kids, you can wonder how insane they are as well.
12:48Don't give them your kids.
12:49You know what I mean?
12:49Like, yes, there's wonder.
12:51You know, like I just did this movie, this Netflix movie, and my son is in it.
12:55I read about this.
12:57And so there was a lot of wonder there, meaning there was nostalgia for me.
13:02There was just wonder and awe that he was here.
13:05He was doing it.
13:07You know, he had earned the gig.
13:09Yeah, nepotism is real.
13:12Okay.
13:12But in our business, you get your foot in the door.
13:16You know what I mean?
13:17Yes, of course.
13:18But you have to prove yourself.
13:19You know what I'm saying?
13:20Like, you still have to go perform.
13:22He auditioned five times.
13:24He got the job.
13:25And it was just, you know, I got to live with him in Toronto.
13:28It was beautiful.
13:29But again, then I said, then I wonder why they're such idiots at times.
13:34How did you react when he said he wanted to be an actor?
13:37I kind of knew.
13:39I don't know what else these kids are going to want to do.
13:42As of right now, nothing.
13:45This is what they want to do.
13:46Wilder, my oldest, Bodhi, my middle, and then Rio, my girl.
13:49They all want to be in the business.
13:51And then, of course, you've got Kate's kids.
13:53They all want to be actors.
13:54I mean, Wyatt's her baby, so who knows.
13:56But it's just kind of, I don't know.
13:58Is that because they've been around it their whole life?
14:00It's been modeled for them, and they've seen how satisfied their parents and grandparents are doing this?
14:05I think so.
14:06I think so.
14:06I think that's correct.
14:07I also think they understand how fun it is, you know, when you get work.
14:11It's a tough gig, you know what I mean?
14:13It's a tough gig.
14:14Even if you have the pedigree, you know, even if you do come from a family, a generational family of actors, it's still difficult, you know what I mean?
14:24Did you find it difficult?
14:24Like, how did you deal with, you had a leg up by having the door opened, by having a famous last name and connections, but like, how was that pressure?
14:33That must also come with added pressure.
14:35Yeah, I've talked about that sometimes with my sister and other people about how, yes, you get the foot in the door, but those expectations, they're raised for you.
14:45If you're going into an audition and it's like, oh, you know, let's speak for Kate when she was younger.
14:50Oh, it's Goldie Hawn's daughter because it's such a, you know, apples and apples, right?
14:55And my mom was an icon, and it's like, oh, the daughter of, well, let's see how she does.
14:59And they're both doing rom-coms.
15:00Right, right, right, or even I'm saying when Kate's even beginning, it's like, let's see how she does.
15:04And I think there's an expectation that gets put on you.
15:08So, yeah, I think, you know, the lights might be a little brighter when you walk into a room just to see how this person does, given the fact that they've come from this place.
15:17I never thought about that, you know what I mean?
15:20For me, it was just about the commitment to what I was doing.
15:26I honestly didn't commit to it at all.
15:29I finished college.
15:30I left college at 19.
15:32I worked as a PA for two years.
15:34I wanted to be a director, writer.
15:35This is still what I'm mostly passionate about.
15:38And I just decided to try acting because my whole family did it.
15:44Took the opportunity but didn't get after the opportunity.
15:50I got the auditions, but I didn't focus enough.
15:53I didn't give it my all.
15:55And not to get into my own psychology here, but I think for me, the harder I tried, the further I would fall.
16:02The harder I went after it, when that failure happened, which inevitably it will, it's going to hurt more.
16:08So what I did was just sort of half-ass it because I knew that when I didn't get the job, I could use the excuse consciously or even subconsciously of, oh, I mean, I didn't really give it 100%.
16:24So let's delve into that a little bit.
16:25So when you really tried for things, you didn't get them.
16:29But when you didn't try for things and you were a bit more casual about it, things went better.
16:34No, no, no, no.
16:34Not necessarily.
16:35Meaning I was afraid to give it 100% because when that failure did happen, it would hurt more.
16:45It's like the higher you climb up in the tree, the more it's going to hurt when you fall.
16:52You were scared to try and follow your dreams.
16:54Yeah, yeah.
16:55And I just didn't like the rejection.
16:58And it was tough for me trying to follow in the footsteps of that gave me some anxiety around that.
17:09So I had a moment there and then I finally said, you know what, if I'm going to do this, I have to do this.
17:15I was living at home.
17:17Everything was, I'm about to curse.
17:19Everything was paid for.
17:20I had no stress in my life and I took the initiative.
17:26My parents didn't kick me out and they said, I just said, I got to get out of here.
17:30I have to put some pressure on myself.
17:32So I got an apartment with a friend, could barely afford it because I wanted like the nice apartment.
17:37I was like, first month, last month and maybe four months.
17:40And the minute I sort of put myself out there and created some pressure for myself, even though I knew I'm not an idiot.
17:48You knew you had to say do that.
17:49I knew my parents are going to let me just starve.
17:51I get that.
17:52But it was what I needed.
17:54Putting yourself in the real world.
17:55Yeah, and then immediately I got my first television show, like within three weeks of moving out.
18:01And that was?
18:02It was called My Guide to Becoming a Rockstar.
18:04It was in Vancouver and I was the lead of the show and I tested and I worked hard.
18:09I worked hard at the audition.
18:10I made sure I didn't go out and drink the night before and be hung over.
18:15You know what I mean?
18:15I just think that's something to be learned there to put yourself out in the world, what you want and chase it hard.
18:20And then that's what happens.
18:22So it's a really good takeaway.
18:23Yeah, yeah.
18:24So with the kids, it's like, you know, there was no surprise.
18:28But it's like, look, it's going to be tough.
18:29Don't think it's going to be easy.
18:31But when Wilder finished this job, I was like, did this solidify what you want to do?
18:34And he goes, I love this.
18:36No.
18:36I love this.
18:37And then my middle son, we watched the screening of it and he goes, Dad, like watching that makes me want to, I just want to be an actor.
18:43I just want to act right now.
18:44I'm like, okay, here we go.
18:46It's good that they know what they want to do and that you can help guide them a little bit.
18:50So you started your career as Katie Holmes' boyfriend on Dawson's Creek.
18:56How was that experience?
18:57Eddie Doling was his name.
18:59I'll never forget that.
19:00I could never remember any of my characters, but for some reason I remember that one.
19:04Oh, that was amazing.
19:05I had so much fun.
19:06I lived in Wilmington, North Carolina.
19:08I lived right on the beach, you know.
19:10And so I was like fishing and surfing and I had a basketball court right behind me.
19:14So there was that part of it.
19:15And then, you know, working with her on such an iconic show was very, very cool.
19:21Adjusting to the dialogue was interesting because it was such a specific witty, snappy dialogue, you know.
19:28But it was great, you know.
19:31Met a ton of really fun people and it was a good jump off, you know, for me.
19:37I watch that stuff now and again, I show my kids.
19:39I'm like, look at me.
19:40They're like, oh my God, Dad.
19:42I'm 24, 25 years old.
19:44I mean, it's crazy.
19:45Do they recognize you?
19:46Yeah, I mean, it's unbelievable to them how young I look.
19:50And it's unbelievable to me, too.
19:52I'm like, Jesus.
19:53And you're playing a 17-year-old.
19:55Yeah, exactly.
19:56And it's just kind of like, what is happening here?
19:59So when I was at school, like Private Benjamin movie was my favorite movie.
20:04And I think we're roughly the same age.
20:06How was it going to school when your mom was like an icon and on everybody's TV screens?
20:11Yeah.
20:14It was okay.
20:15It was, you know, I mean, look, it's always a little rough as a boy, you know.
20:20When your mom is funny and sexy and, you know, hot and all those things.
20:25I mean, so there was some of that.
20:29But it was never egregious.
20:31It was never, it would never put me down in any way.
20:36More so with Kurt, actually.
20:38Really?
20:39I had an instance, because I played hockey for eight years.
20:42And it was my own teammate.
20:43And we were playing and we were doing pictures.
20:46Picture day is like 4 a.m. on a Saturday.
20:49And it's just like you're exhausted and whatever.
20:51And this idiot teammate of mine who I just didn't like in general.
20:55We got our helmets off.
20:56And he said something that I can't even say.
20:58He here.
20:59But he goes, do you blank your dad's dick or whatever?
21:03Okay.
21:03You can cut it out.
21:04And just, I don't know, blank Kurt Russell's blop.
21:08Yeah.
21:09And I lost it.
21:11Just fuck love off.
21:13Just hauled into him.
21:14Just got in the eyes and started fighting him.
21:17So he was using his knowledge of your and being antagonistic.
21:21And then I went through a phase in my life where I was just wondered why people were friends with me or liked me.
21:28You know, where there was because they just wanted an in.
21:32And to get home and to be served tea by Goldie Hawn.
21:35Yeah.
21:35No, exactly.
21:36And that was a thing.
21:37You know, that was a thing.
21:38That's not a nice feeling.
21:40A lot of that was in my head, though.
21:41You know, I, again, I would rather protect myself by thinking that than be blindsided by that if that, in fact, was the case.
21:53So I would project that to, you know, just protect my feelings.
22:01And then maybe some of it was true or there's an allure there.
22:07But that was, for me, growing up, that was a big thing.
22:09I remember I was at camp.
22:09I'm sorry, getting up on these stories.
22:11But I was at camp.
22:13And I had an amazing summer.
22:14I was 10 or 11 years old.
22:15And I was great friends with these girls.
22:17And they were older than me.
22:19And it was just so much fun.
22:20And we're on the bus ride back.
22:22And for some reason, I remember her name.
22:24Her name was Ellen.
22:25And I was kind of into her, you know, young love or, you know, attraction.
22:30And I would just randomly say, you know, you only like me because of my mom.
22:35And she's like, what?
22:36And I was like, yeah, I know you only like me because of my mom.
22:38I don't know why I tried to pull it.
22:39Did she know who your mom is?
22:41Yeah.
22:42Excuse me.
22:42She did.
22:43But then she starts crying because it was so untrue.
22:47And I'm like, uh-oh.
22:48You seem to have sabotaged certain results growing up.
22:51Yeah.
22:52Absolutely.
22:53I mean, I'm 49 and I work on that stuff now.
22:56You know, I mean, we're always content.
22:58We're always evolving.
22:59And I am so interested in the human condition and especially my own trying to be better, trying to strive, trying not to placate, trying to put myself out there and not worry about what people think.
23:13Like, you know.
23:14That's what we're all trying to do.
23:16We are.
23:16I mean, that was the advice.
23:17When I was 24 years old, Kurt came up to me.
23:19I just started acting.
23:20I was late to the game, as I sort of said.
23:23And he goes, look, you're a good actor, okay?
23:26You know, you've never really done it.
23:27But here's your thing.
23:28Here's my advice to you.
23:30You have to stop giving a s***.
23:32Just stop giving a s***.
23:34And it makes so much sense.
23:35And it's very simple.
23:37But it's not simplistic.
23:38It's hard.
23:39It's hard to truly not give a s*** unless that is who you are.
23:44Unless that is innately who you are.
23:46And that is innately who Kurt is.
23:47And even Wyatt, to a certain extent.
23:50You know, I just admire his Wyatt's freedom.
23:54Like resolve and not worrying what people think.
23:56Yeah, yeah.
23:56And he played professional sports.
23:57So he's been through the ringer, man.
23:59This Hollywood thing is easy.
24:00Well, you turn 50 next year.
24:02I turn 50 this year.
24:04And I'm in my era of not giving a damn.
24:06And I think as you get to 50, you start to feel like I've got less time than I've had.
24:11Let's just enjoy it and not care.
24:14So how do you feel about turning 50 next year?
24:16It's funny because age never really played a part in my life.
24:19My birthdays never mattered to me.
24:20My mom was like, we need a party.
24:22I'm like, okay, you know, we can do it.
24:24And I always have fun.
24:25But age was never a thing.
24:26I feel like I'm 18 still, you know, and act like it at times.
24:32But 50 is different, I think, for me.
24:34You know, it feels like a big number.
24:38It's one of those numbers that you sort of reflect back on your life.
24:41You're like, I'm 50.
24:42What have I done?
24:43What do I need to do?
24:44Where should I be?
24:46Even though that's not a real question because you are where you should be, essentially.
24:49But I'm using it as a jumping off point as well.
24:55Kind of like you said.
24:56Like, all right, let's make the back nine of life amazing.
25:00Let's stop giving a shit.
25:02Let's go after the things that you want to do.
25:04Well, I love being an actor.
25:07But, you know, when my sister was acting out of the womb, I was making movies every weekend with my partner.
25:13Producing partner was still my producing partner now.
25:15We were in third grade.
25:16I mean, it's what we love.
25:18It's what I love.
25:20And directing.
25:21I mean, that, my vision, what's in my head, the way that I see life, the way I perceive things, the way that I like to story tell, you know, something that I dream of.
25:31I have a block, you know.
25:34It's overwhelming, the process.
25:36I can't think of an idea.
25:37I don't know this.
25:38Instead of just fucking doing it.
25:40And now it's like, you know what, just go and do it.
25:43Don't worry about if it's bad.
25:46You know, there's a perfectionist in me that stops me from doing a lot of things, you know.
25:51And not to mention, 49, I was like, I want to be in the best shape of my life at 50.
25:56So I'm on all these crazy peptides.
25:59I'm seeing a nutritionist.
26:01You know, I'm working out five days a week, 45 minutes of cardio, seven days a week.
26:06You know, I'm like, I've got to train you.
26:08So you're going to be jacked.
26:09I want to see what I can do.
26:11I want to see where I can get.
26:13We'll have to do you a topless cover for the cover of Us Week.
26:16Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:17For your 50th birthday.
26:18Yes, exactly.
26:19Exactly.
26:21Back to your upbringing.
26:22Like, is there something from your upbringing with Kurt and Goldie that you now catch yourself
26:27passing on to your kids, like unintentionally or intentionally?
26:30Yeah, it's a funny, it's a good question.
26:34It's funny because obviously Kurt's not my blood father, but I have a lot of his mannerisms.
26:41And sometimes my inflections, the way that I get angry sometimes, the way that I get excited
26:49and praise, because, you know, Paul, I call him Paul.
26:53Paul is just a, he's just got so much life force in him, you know.
26:59And when he loves, he loves hard.
27:01And when he laughs, he laughs hard, you know.
27:03And when he is opinionated, he opinionates hard.
27:06And it's the beautiful thing about him.
27:08And so I take that, a lot of my, I'm weirdly getting emotional, with his, you know, with
27:20his sort of life force, when he gets loud and he gets big, when I get big, I find my inflections,
27:28the way that I speak, very similar to him.
27:30That's lovely.
27:32And then just raising your children.
27:33Like, you can't help but mirror all the great things that your parents gave to you, you
27:40know.
27:40I think it's normal for us to pick and choose.
27:43Because I always say it's not about if we screw up our kids, it's about to what degree,
27:48you know.
27:49I mean, we're all trying our best.
27:50We're never going to get it right, right.
27:52That's not a possibility.
27:53Perfection is a word that shouldn't even exist in the English language.
27:57I don't even know what is perfect, you know.
27:59So I find myself, you know, doing things like Kurt does.
28:04For me personally, what he did for me was, took me from sort of a little scared boy who
28:11was a mama's boy and taught me how to be alone, taught me independence, the freedom of sort
28:17of being able to find your way and not have to rely on people, a toughness.
28:23He may be the man that I am, 100%.
28:25And I find that I am doing the same thing with my kids, that sort of, that tough love
28:31a little bit when it's needed, that, hey, shake it off, buddy, you're okay.
28:35When to step forward and when to step back.
28:36Yeah, yeah.
28:37And then mom, for me, is just, I have all of her sensitivity, all of her empathy, you
28:43know, I feel a ton, you know, too much.
28:46That's why I'm on 20 milligrams of Lexapro, you know.
28:49So I've got them both.
28:52That's really beautiful.
28:53Thanks for sharing that.
28:55So Kate said that your relationship with your paternal dad is, your biological dad's
29:00warming up.
29:01Would you agree?
29:02A hundred percent.
29:03Yeah, it's been great.
29:04Honestly.
29:05We're in contact now more than ever.
29:07I text with him almost every other day now.
29:10We're talking about a few little projects together.
29:14Yeah, it's been great.
29:15You know, I think it's important.
29:16It was very important.
29:17You know, coming off of the heels of a joke online is how it all stemmed.
29:22You know, when I posted something and I was trying to be funny and it was a bit dark and
29:27it just set off this firestorm that I wasn't expecting.
29:31But it definitely brought us together.
29:34And we've had amazing conversations.
29:36We've had amazing lunches, you know, throwing back some beers and crying and sort of understanding
29:43each other more and more.
29:44And it was really beautiful, honestly, to sit down with him and look at my reflection in a
29:52way.
29:53You know, he's he's the man in my life.
29:55He made me.
29:56I'm half of that that dude.
29:59And I don't see that in Kurt, you know, to be fair, because he's not biological.
30:04So when I look at my dad, he looks a lot like me.
30:07The way he thinks about life is a lot like mine.
30:12The way he operates.
30:14It was just so interesting.
30:16So interesting.
30:16The impact of nature and nurture.
30:18The two discussions you just said.
30:19It was it was really incredible.
30:21Yeah.
30:22And so him and I are getting along great right now.
30:25And my all my step.
30:27Sorry, my half brothers and sisters, Zach and Emily, are awesome.
30:32You know, so it's been it's been fun.
30:34It's been a really nice reunion.
30:36OK, congratulations.
30:37That's really nice.
30:38So like a lot of us, you've done a lot of personal work unpacking your childhood.
30:42And you said your mom caused the most trauma trauma as your primary caregiver.
30:46Did you talk to her about this?
30:48It's so funny.
30:49I was just talking about this today.
30:51I was on my podcast and I was talking about my experience at this place called the Hoffman Institute, which was basically unpacking childhood patterns, patterns that have been passed down from your parents that were actually passed down from their parents and so on and so on.
31:06You know, it's about breaking those patterns.
31:08And when I was discussing this on my podcast, I said something of the sort.
31:13And then the headline was like, of course, you know, you need everyone needs that clickbait, which is, you know, you Oliver's caused trauma.
31:20Mom caused Trump.
31:21And I get a call from mom.
31:23What are you doing?
31:24How would you?
31:25I was like, mom, please read the listen to the whole thing or listen to the whole thing, you know.
31:29And what I'm saying there is, is that, again, we're all doing our best to be parents.
31:35Absolutely.
31:38What I was getting at was when I went into this process, I thought it was going to be all about my dad, you know, because he was the one who kind of wasn't there.
31:45And interestingly enough, my mother came up a lot because she was my primary caregiver.
31:52It wasn't that she wasn't there.
31:53It was that I relied so much on her because I didn't have anyone else.
31:58That even the slightest, you know, sort of, oh, I'm going to, you know, do a movie and I'll see you in two weeks.
32:05Or, you know, even the slightest things were so amplified and magnified because I just needed her so much, you know.
32:13So that's sort of what that was about.
32:17So she listened to it and understood.
32:19Yes, she did.
32:20Yeah, yeah.
32:20No, she did.
32:21Thank God.
32:22Because I was like, oh, my God, I would never.
32:24She's the most amazing human in my life.
32:26You know, my wife, my mom and my wife.
32:29I mean, I don't know who I would be without my mother.
32:33I mean, she is who I go to.
32:34She's still my mom.
32:36I'm almost 50 and she will always be my mom.
32:39Sometimes I call her Ma.
32:41That's funny because she has a recent quote where she said, there will always be your children.
32:45She said exactly.
32:46Oh, I mean, advice or this or that or, you know, it's like, I'm feeling this, I'm feeling that.
32:52I can be as open with, I'm more open with her than anyone in my life.
32:58I'm most vulnerable with my mother than with anybody.
33:01That's beautiful that, like, you're a very, the most famous family in the world and you have a natural, very strong bond and families.
33:09Yeah, very much so.
33:11So you've talked about your lifelong anxiety and described your first panic attack as feeling as if you were going to die on the sidewalk.
33:17What made you speak publicly about that?
33:20I'm very unfiltered.
33:21You know, I just, it wasn't a choice to say, you know what, I think I can help a lot of people by telling my story.
33:30I just talk, you know, and I like expressing myself and it's fun for me and I like getting it off my chest.
33:38When I was having anxiety and didn't really understand what it was, I would talk about it.
33:44I wouldn't keep it inside.
33:47And then in turn, when you do have a platform and you do get the feedback of, wow, I feel this too.
33:57You know, your story has sort of shed some light on what my husband is going through.
34:01Or, you know, I felt alone in this process of trying to get better and now I don't.
34:09You get these affirmations that really make you feel.
34:12Well, I just want to say thank you because I think it means a lot to everybody.
34:17And talking about mental health and de-stigmatizing it, that's the only way to do that.
34:21And having a famous person who's very open about that, de-stigmatize that makes people feel less alone.
34:28But, like, also I think it's very good to share the solutions that you have found and things that have worked for you.
34:33Because navigating mental health is such a stressful situation.
34:38Even if you've got the resources, it's still trying to work out what to do.
34:41What did you find worked for you?
34:44Oh, so much stuff.
34:45So I've had different bouts of it.
34:46It's funny, different points in my life.
34:48When I was 24 years old, what you were mentioning right there is I didn't know what it was.
34:53I went to every doctor in the world.
34:54Like, something's wrong with me, you guys.
34:56I can't breathe.
34:56I'm this.
34:57I'm throwing up everywhere.
34:58You know, and then once you rule out all the medical, it's like, oh, well, you know.
35:03The physical medical.
35:04Yeah, the physical medical.
35:05Then you're going through, oh, you have a panic attack and you're in an anxiety place, you know, moment right now.
35:13And for me, at that time, there was no medication.
35:15I didn't do medication because I wasn't even presented with it.
35:18It was more meditation.
35:20Every single day, I had a rock in sort of the wooded area of my street.
35:24Meditation every day.
35:26Journaling every day.
35:27I'd try to work out.
35:28You know, I'd try to move my body.
35:31Of course, it would end up in like a panic attack because I'm like, I can't breathe, you know.
35:37And then humorizing it, honestly.
35:41Humanizing, but humorizing it.
35:43Making it funny.
35:45You know, I was being self-deprecating about it.
35:49Once I knew that it wasn't going to kill me, even though I felt like I was dying half the time, I couldn't breathe.
35:57You know, my wife and I would be having sex.
35:58I'm like, you got it.
36:00We got to stop.
36:01Like, I can't.
36:01I mean, it was just horrible.
36:02I was throwing up on the street because I was just had anxiety about going outside.
36:07I mean, it was got it got gnarly.
36:08Was that the worst?
36:09You couldn't leave the house?
36:11Yeah.
36:11Well, I would leave the house because I didn't want it, let it, to control me.
36:15So, I was like, I'm just going to, I'm going to grit through this.
36:17I was surfing at the time.
36:18I would be in like a lineup and be, you know, panicking, but out in the water because I'm not going to grit through this.
36:25I had an audition that I had to come to New York for.
36:27I was still trying to be an actor, too, which was crazy.
36:30Going to auditions is like losing my mind.
36:32I got a call back to go read with Laura Linney in New York City.
36:37I'm like, I can't get on an airplane, but I'm going to do it.
36:40I'm going to get it.
36:40The airplane was a disaster, completely crazy.
36:43I get into the city, sleep the night.
36:45I get into a cab.
36:46I'm puking.
36:47I'm like the cab, like out on the sidewalk.
36:50I'm just like a complete wreck.
36:52I remember sitting in the waiting room and talking to my mom, like, mom, like, I don't know what to do.
36:56I'm like, you know, and then like, Oliver, you're next.
37:00I'm like, oh, my God.
37:01Did you manage to get through?
37:02I don't even remember the audition.
37:04Don't even remember it.
37:05I remember the waiting room and then I don't know.
37:07I don't know what happened.
37:08I blacked out.
37:09I have no recollection of the read.
37:12I was just happy to be done with it.
37:14So anyway, went through all that.
37:16You didn't get the movie.
37:17You did not get the movie.
37:18I think it was called P.S.
37:19I Love You.
37:20I think that was the name.
37:21I think Topher Grace ended up doing it.
37:22But I, so I went through that.
37:25It was all the, it was, it was all the, the journaling and the meditation and all that.
37:29And I was able to sort of bring myself back into some, some semblance of reality.
37:34But there was a residual feeling.
37:37And that's when I went on Celexa.
37:39That's when my doctor said, here, try this.
37:41And then it sort of eased it, you know.
37:44But then there were two other more major bouts of it as well in my adulthood where it just took on a different role after having kids.
37:51You know, which was, you know, crazy, man.
37:55Crazy.
37:55I tried to wean off of my medication.
37:58And you had bad withdrawals.
37:59Yeah, horrible.
38:00And it was just so gnarly.
38:02And I was in Colorado.
38:03And I was trying to be a dad and downhill mountain biking and being with my kids.
38:08And at that time, it's kind of hard as a man, especially as a dad, to ask for help.
38:13How did you experience, like, how did you teach yourself to ask for help?
38:18Mm-hmm.
38:19Well, you know, when I was young, I felt like I didn't have a choice because I was feeling so horrible.
38:29And I was just getting with my wife, who's now my wife and my girlfriend.
38:33So she didn't understand what was going on.
38:34She's like, your life is great.
38:37Like, what's going on with you?
38:39Like, but it's not even about that.
38:41There's something deeper in there.
38:43It's human nature to try and pinpoint a cause of mental health.
38:47I've had issues of people very close to me.
38:49But it's not a cause and effect.
38:52Like, did you ever try to think about what happened?
38:56How did that?
38:56What led to this?
38:57Yeah.
38:57I mean, I think in the beginning, yes.
38:59I think for me at the time, I was trying to be an actor.
39:02I put a lot of pressure on myself.
39:04I wasn't taking it seriously, like I told you.
39:07My sister was blowing up.
39:09My parents were big.
39:10I'm like, where do I belong in this?
39:12What am I doing?
39:12It was sort of like a quarter-life crisis, you know, where I'm 24, 25 years old and boom,
39:18everything just goes to shit and it just short circuits.
39:23That must have been complicated when Kate became one of the biggest stars in the world after
39:27your mom as well.
39:27And you were thinking of that world.
39:29How was that?
39:30It was, that was not even a thing.
39:32I mean, the pride that I have for my family is enormous, you know what I mean?
39:37There's always envy, you know?
39:40On my podcast, when we have celebrities and their siblings on, I'm always asking, like,
39:44are you jealous?
39:45Is there any envy there?
39:46Everyone's like, no, no.
39:47I'm like, dude, come on.
39:49There's something there.
39:50I mean, you know, the only great one was Chad Lowe.
39:53We had Chad and Rob on and I asked the question.
39:55Chad's like, are you kidding?
39:57Of course.
39:58He's like, look at this guy, you know?
40:00He's like, what are you, nuts?
40:01What kind of question?
40:02I was like, I was laughing and I was like, dude, for sure.
40:04That's what I love about the podcast.
40:06It's so honest and full transparency.
40:09There's nothing, nothing is off the table.
40:10So there's, there's envy.
40:12There's not jealousy or wishing ill at all.
40:14But there's like this feeling of like, ah, that looks like so much fun working with that
40:19person and, and being able to sort of rehearse and explore and work with those creatives.
40:25I got it.
40:26It inspired you.
40:27Like that's a good, when your friends and your family are successful, it can inspire you to try,
40:31and I just watched Kate's movie, Song Song Blue, which is phenomenal.
40:35And she is phenomenal.
40:37She's going to be nominated for everything.
40:38And I hope she wins because she's incredible in it.
40:40And it was extremely inspiring and very emotional for me watching her come back to where she
40:47belongs.
40:47She's an incredible talent, incredible actor.
40:50And she's been in her business world for a minute.
40:54And I think now she's finally, you know, she's still doing that, but she's got her stuff.
40:59And this movie is going to show it.
41:00She's just awesome.
41:02I also love the side that you've, I think, brought out of her on the podcast.
41:07You kind of make her seem a little bit more relatable, more relaxed.
41:10Do you feel like that?
41:13That's the, it's the push pull.
41:15It's me going off the rails and her trying to bring me back.
41:18And no one, there's no one I love to make laugh more than my sister because her laugh
41:23is big and amazing.
41:24So when I get her going, it's just great.
41:27It's like a train where I make hard lefts and rights way off the track.
41:31And she's trying to like bring it back on the track.
41:33You know, she's always like, Oliver, you know, we had Michelle Obama on.
41:38Just Michelle Obama, just casually.
41:40We had Michelle Obama on and Michelle's team and everyone was there.
41:43She goes, Michelle just wants to keep it casual.
41:46Like, you know, everyone wants to dress casual.
41:49So, you know, I put a suit on, like slick hair, suit, the whole thing.
41:56And she's like, what?
41:57I thought there was this Kate.
41:58Kate's like, what are you doing?
42:00She's in her leggings.
42:01Yeah, because it's like Michelle Obama.
42:03She's like, not I'm disrespecting her, but, you know, this is my.
42:07And then she's like, I thought it was casual.
42:09I'm like, it is.
42:10And then I stand up and back up and I'm just wearing my underwear.
42:13Oh, I love that.
42:14I love that.
42:15You're such a cat.
42:17Hollywood and the media, like, always for years had a pressure for everyone to be perfect.
42:22And one of the good things about social media, there aren't that many,
42:25is that it kind of allowed everyone to be more open and authentic
42:28and provided a safety for celebrities,
42:31particularly to tell their own stories.
42:33Like, how have you found that evolution?
42:36Yeah.
42:36I mean, I think if used correctly, I think it can be a very beautiful, beneficial tool.
42:44You know, I mean, my Instagram is a lot of insanity.
42:48You know what I mean?
42:49Where I'm singing stupid songs and I'm out of my mind.
42:52And then there are those moments, you know, where I can reflect and get serious.
42:55I would like to actually open myself up to more, not serious, but more poignant things
43:02because I do like talking, you know, as like, you know, I enjoy talking and having an interview.
43:07Yeah, it's fun.
43:08It's fun for me.
43:10But no, I mean, look, you see, I think Ryan Reynolds has talked about mental health.
43:14You know, a lot of people, Chris Pratt sort of does a lot of fun, like good stuff.
43:17I mean, there's a lot of celebrities who bring out and talk about their own experiences
43:22and you know that it's helping and shifting people.
43:25And I think if used correctly, I think it can be a very powerful tool.
43:31You know, I mean, the flip side, of course, is the insanity of social media.
43:34Yeah, for sure.
43:36I'm a big believer that people can, you can help people by telling stories, particularly
43:40celebrities because they're the leading protagonists to storytelling in society.
43:44But like on your podcast, what the stories and the interviews you're most proud of?
43:52Oh, gosh, that's a tough one.
43:54We've done so, so many.
43:58I mean, they go from completely crazy, funny, like Bobby Lee and his brother, which was off
44:04the rails, you know, and then we've got Michelle Obama and her brother, you know, so it just
44:09runs this gamut.
44:10But then I love also talking to my favorite interviews aren't necessarily the celebrity
44:14ones.
44:15It's the people that we bring on who are interested in, you know, you know, the manifestors,
44:21you know, the doctors, the psychologists.
44:25We had this guy, Matthew Johnson on, who is the head of, you know, the psilocybin research
44:30at Johns Hopkins.
44:32And that was about sort of, you know, what mushroom therapy, what psilocybin therapy is
44:37doing.
44:37This was years ago.
44:38It's telling stories that can help people, that there's a takeaway that could change someone's
44:41life.
44:42I love that.
44:43But it's always fun.
44:44It's always fun to chop it up with the celebrities and learn about their stories and the fun.
44:49But when the combination of the two and celebrities tell stories like you are, that you can learn
44:53from and it has even bigger impact because it goes to the masses.
44:56It reaches everybody.
44:57Well, you know, to follow up on that, you know, talking about the Hoffman Institute, I talk
45:01about it a bunch on my podcast because it always...
45:04I bet their inquiries went up.
45:05Well, so when you're at the process, at the end of it, you write sort of on these note
45:11cards of, you know, who inspired you to go.
45:14And it's basically a thank you note with a personal story on it.
45:17And I have gotten hundreds sent to my house and I keep all of them, every one of them.
45:24And every time I read every one, I get emotional.
45:26Every one.
45:26Because you're helping people.
45:28It's like amazing.
45:29It's a byproduct of me just talking and telling my story.
45:33But when you get these letters, like I heard about this process through you, I was intrigued.
45:38I'm here now and my life has changed.
45:40You're like, oh shit, that's awesome.
45:44I mean, it's amazing, you know.
45:45Of course, every time I bring up the Hoffman process now, Kate's like, we know you went
45:50to the Hoffman process.
45:52I love that.
45:53Well, that's the beauty of the podcast and the beauty of a sibling relationship.
45:56You give each other a hard time.
45:57Of course.
45:58What's the secret about Kate, like, that she's so down to earth that we don't know?
46:03Like, anything that she does that's so down to earth?
46:06Well, you would think someone of her stature has things done for her.
46:09She does everything.
46:10Everything on her own.
46:11Yeah.
46:11Yeah.
46:12I mean, she is an amazing cook.
46:14You know, she's an incredible baker.
46:18You know, she just is an all hands on deck mother.
46:22You know, she's amazing that way.
46:24What's your favorite thing that Kate makes?
46:26Banana cream pie.
46:27Oh, I don't like bananas.
46:28Sorry, Kate.
46:29Do you not?
46:29That's my favorite.
46:30It's my favorite pie.
46:32The other woman in your life, your wife, you two celebrate 20 years of marriage next
46:37year.
46:38Are you the vow renewal type people?
46:40We were talking about that, actually.
46:42We were.
46:43I'm not.
46:44But we were talking about it only because we were in Mexico and it was the most fun wedding
46:51ever.
46:51Still to this day of all the friends and family who got married.
46:56It's like yours was.
46:58It was one of the first ones.
47:00You got married early.
47:02Well, I was 30, but it was the first ones of like my all my friends and, you know, family
47:06and stuff like one of my family.
47:08But my own Kate was married.
47:09Yeah.
47:09Anyway, it was just a blast.
47:11It was three days in Mexico.
47:14Everyone was at the same hotel and it was just a party.
47:17I mean, it was just a party.
47:18Everyone's going crazy.
47:20There was fights at my wedding.
47:22Someone got knocked up at my wedding.
47:25Yes.
47:26Like we had.
47:27It was a.
47:28Were they together at the time?
47:30Nope.
47:33It was a it was a blast.
47:35I mean, it was a true, true blast.
47:37It was and, you know, we the party after the reception, you know, after the wedding was
47:43only supposed to go to a certain time and we just it was just kept extending and extending
47:50and it was like five in the morning.
47:51And finally, they're just like, you guys have to leave.
47:53We have to set up breakfast because everyone was just having the time of their lives.
47:57It was it was a blast.
47:58The scrapbook memory.
47:59So I recommend you repeat that.
48:00So my point is, is like, that's the reason like we want to go do that again.
48:06But at the same time, just to be a little more heartfelt, I can't imagine my I can imagine
48:13my vows right now.
48:14They would be so much better, so much deeper.
48:18They would have so much more meaning than they did 20 years ago where I was basically
48:24a kid.
48:25I didn't understand it as much.
48:28I wasn't nearly as vulnerable and in touch with myself as I am now.
48:32So to rewrite your vows.
48:34Oh, I would love to do that.
48:35I think that that would be that's my number one priority.
48:38That will happen at some point, I think, because my vows sucked.
48:41I got to say it.
48:43I got lazy with the vows.
48:45I always write her letters.
48:47I've written her poems and all that stuff.
48:49So I basically made a mix mash of the poems and the letters that I wrote her and created
48:55vows from that rather than speaking something honestly that I'm feeling in that moment,
49:00you know, because I think I was too afraid of it.
49:03Honestly, I was too afraid to express those kinds of feelings.
49:07You know, do you two agree on everything within parenting or the things you step apart on and
49:11disagree?
49:12How's that process been?
49:13Not everything, but we're pretty in tune.
49:15Um, sometimes I, you know, I think she can get nuts and then I can get nuts.
49:22Like she's relating all this back to Christmas.
49:26It just popped into my head when the kids were little, you know, I'm all about trying to
49:31say things or, you know, that, that are, or you can, you can follow through with not
49:38these big outlandish things.
49:39And one time she's just, the kids are going nuts and we're in the car and it's Karen's just
49:43like, like holding it in and losing it.
49:45And then, and it was right in the holidays.
49:47And she's like, yeah, she goes, you need to stop or we're not celebrating Christmas.
49:52And I start laughing.
49:54I'm like, babe, really?
49:55Like, are we not going to celebrate Christmas?
49:57You know, like those kinds of things where it's just like, we can't follow through with
50:01that, you know?
50:03Um, but no, for the most part, we're, we're very much in line, you know, with how the kids
50:08are raised.
50:09I'm more free.
50:10I let them go do their thing.
50:12I believe that we need to let our kids fall and get hurt and fail and get themselves out
50:18of sticky situations.
50:20Uh, I think we're coddling our kids today too much generally.
50:24And I understand it.
50:25It can be a scary world, but the truth is statistically it's safer now than it was in the eighties.
50:30Yeah.
50:31So let them do their thing.
50:32And you're there if they make mistakes, but, but, but it's also scary now because we're on
50:37social media and the news and it's like, Oh, this kid got hit by a drunk driver.
50:41Or this kid was just kind of minding his own business and got mowed down.
50:44We just didn't know about it in the seventies, just riding our bike.
50:47And I understand how that elicits a ton of fear and especially for my wife and even for
50:52me.
50:52But I'm just like, you know what?
50:54I got to put that out there.
50:55I need to, he's 18, he's 15.
50:57And my, even my 12 year old, I'm like, they need to go experience life alone and independence
51:03in Los Angeles.
51:04And she can get a little nutty about that.
51:06That's where I'm like, babe, let it go.
51:09It's going to be fine.
51:09It's going to be fine.
51:10Oh yeah.
51:11So what's the best thing about your wife?
51:13Oh gosh.
51:16There are, she is the greatest human.
51:22Not only that I know, I'm speaking for all of her friends and her people around her.
51:28They would all say the same thing.
51:30There's no one quite like Aaron.
51:32I don't want to cry about all this.
51:35What are you doing, dude?
51:36Because she is so emotionally evolved.
51:45She understands the human condition.
51:49She understands men extremely well.
51:53She is the person that everyone goes to for advice.
51:57She is the common denominator of all of her friends, which can be taxing on her sometimes.
52:04You know what I mean?
52:06She gives so much of herself that sometimes I'm like, you need to just chill.
52:11Give some more to me.
52:12Yeah, exactly.
52:13Because she can be, she can be stressful.
52:15It can be, it can cause her stress.
52:17But she is the most loving, most forgiving, most understanding person.
52:22And it's reciprocated in that she lets me do what I want to do and I let her do what she wants to do.
52:29She knows I love to fish and golf and do my thing.
52:32She knows that I need space sometimes and I can get a little nuts, you know, as far as my anxiety goes.
52:38Because even though I'm on medication and I do my work, it's still there.
52:41She's the one who soothes me, who knows how to speak to me, you know, who knows how to sort of put me in my place, too, when I need it.
52:53And she's 52 and sexy as hell.
52:57Just sexy, sexy, sexy.
53:00Hot and sexy.
53:02And we've been together for 20 years.
53:04And I will honestly say that sex has gotten better and better and better.
53:08When you're young, you know, it's like 17 times a day, all right?
53:13But that's just like you're on auto.
53:15It's just like turn it up to a 10.
53:17Now it's quality, not quantity.
53:19No, exactly.
53:20And through my process of self-discovery has allowed me to be more vulnerable with her and express my feelings about her and how I feel about her.
53:30And it's deepened the sex.
53:32It's still crazy and nuts.
53:34It's not like the Red Shoe Diaries and some smooth jazz is on, it's all slow and beautiful.
53:39I mean, it still can get crazy, but there's a connection there that just makes it so much better.
53:47That's so beautiful.
53:48Yeah, and I look at her every day and I'm like, God, she's beautiful.
53:51Every single day.
53:5220 years later, that's something to aspire to, so thank you.
53:55We're going to play a little short game with you with your phone.
53:58It's called Unlocked.
53:59So the first question is, can you show us the last photo you took that sparked you joy?
54:05That sparked joy?
54:06Yeah.
54:10That's not joy.
54:12That's my son.
54:14Went as Hugh Hefner.
54:15Oh!
54:17That's an emotion for sure.
54:20Yeah, it was great.
54:22He went as Hugh Hefner, my boy, my 18-year-old boy.
54:24I'm like, do you know who Hugh Hefner is?
54:26He's like, yeah.
54:27Can you show us an unfinished note on your phone?
54:31Christmas lists.
54:33Now I'm going to show it to you.
54:36No one can steal these ideas.
54:38I have a thousand t-shirt ideas.
54:40For slogans on t-shirts.
54:42Yes.
54:43Yes.
54:44I don't know why they pop into my mind.
54:46Inside the brain of Oliver Hudson.
54:48This is amazing.
54:49What's your most played playlist or artist, usually?
54:52I grew up on 90s hip-hop and 90s R&B.
54:55And of course, you know, classic rock and all that stuff.
54:59But, and then the 80s, you know what I've been listening to a lot.
55:03Now I have a playlist that is all like 80s hairband ballads.
55:08And I've been like killing that.
55:10That's true.
55:10Oh yeah, because I just sing it.
55:12I mean, it's like nostalgic for me when I was a kid.
55:16Yeah.
55:17Well, that's just like, you know, White Snake, you know, and Sebastian Bach and Bon Jovi.
55:23All those like ballads.
55:24As long as it brings you joy, that's great.
55:26How about your Uber rating?
55:27I've never checked my Uber rating.
55:29How do you, how do you find it?
55:32Oh, oh, there it is.
55:33You are a 4.74.
55:35That is not bad.
55:36That's not bad.
55:37But it's not good.
55:37So we're going to wrap up.
55:39Now it's time to find out how, just like us, Oliver Hudson really is.
55:44It's a quick fire round.
55:45Questions come fast, answers come faster, and there's no hiding from your humanity.
55:50Are you ready to prove you're one of us?
55:52I am ready.
55:53What's your biggest fear?
55:55Death.
55:56Your go-to comfort meal.
55:57What do you eat when no one's watching?
56:00My mom makes chicken and dumplings that are amazing.
56:03Nice.
56:03What's the last time you did laundry, honestly?
56:06Honestly, I was in Toronto when I was, I do my laundry when I'm on location.
56:12So I was in Toronto in February.
56:14A nickname your family has for you?
56:17Shmoity.
56:18Why?
56:19I don't know why my mother calls me Shmoity sometimes.
56:23What show are you binging right now?
56:26Oh, gosh.
56:28It's so hard because I want, my wife, I always want to binge binge.
56:32She's like, you have to wait for me.
56:35That is Sasa just like us.
56:36That's me and my husband as well.
56:37I know.
56:38It's just crazy.
56:39I'm like, but I want to continue.
56:40But if you have a show that you watch together, it's important.
56:44Yes, exactly.
56:45What was the one?
56:47I'm trying to think.
56:47There's Black Rabbit.
56:51Oh, cool.
56:52What's the last time you changed a light bulb?
56:54Mine don't seem to run out actually anymore.
57:00Yeah.
57:01It's been a minute.
57:02It's been a minute.
57:03I will say though that a couple of years ago, my wife and I had to, not a fight, but
57:08she was always asking me to change these light bulbs.
57:10And I'd be like, yeah, I'll do it.
57:12But I just never did it.
57:13Of course.
57:13The intention was to do it, but it just kind of slips your mind.
57:17And then eventually she was so sweet.
57:19She's so sweet.
57:21And then she's like, we're talking about something.
57:23And she goes, and then I'm like, I asked you to change these light bulbs.
57:25You don't even care.
57:25And she's crying.
57:26I'm like, okay, I'm going to change these light bulbs right now.
57:29Those, the straw, the break, the camel's back.
57:31What's one thing your kids love to teach you about?
57:35Being old.
57:37Mm-hmm.
57:38Yeah.
57:39Have your kids ever asked you to introduce them to someone famous?
57:43No.
57:44They've never asked me.
57:45No.
57:47I mean, I...
57:48They're too cool for that.
57:49Yeah, yeah.
57:50No, they don't care necessarily.
57:53I think they think it's cool if I met someone who they dig, but they're not never...
58:00They're not fans of the voice.
58:01Yeah, you know.
58:02Well, actually, hold on, hold on.
58:04Rio, Rio's wanted to meet a few, my girl.
58:08You know, because she, like Chanel, Emma Roberts, Chanel, when I did Scream Queens, she loved her.
58:14She wanted to meet her, you know, Alicia Silverstone, because she loves Clueless, my daughter, and she was Cher for Halloween two years ago.
58:23Oh, that's cool.
58:23So there's a couple.
58:24There's been a couple.
58:25With her.
58:25The boys, no, but I think Rio's more so.
58:27Well, thank you, Oliver, for sharing your wisdom from your incredible journey, and for showing all of us that stars really are just like us.
58:36Yeah.
58:36Hey, what do you know?
58:38Uh-uh.
58:39Uh-uh.
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