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Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00...boyfriend, so I can finally lose my virginity!
00:04Please come back!
00:06Oh god, I think she's mistaking Santa for Tinder.
00:13Look at you.
00:15Freckles like a mooned sandwich.
00:18Even your body looks like you haven't used Kate to...
00:21Let's spare Santa the tough case this year.
00:30Oh god, you virgin ass will expire before any of this do.
00:47You get your options.
00:48First, strip down and ask who wanna make your little Christmas kiss come true.
00:54Or...
00:57I can print this.
00:59And put it all over your name, okay?
01:02Please don't.
01:06There is no way out of this.
01:08Guys.
01:10Why didn't you ask James?
01:13Go on!
01:16Three.
01:20Two.
01:21James, don't you?
01:24Ew, what the fuck?
01:26I don't see a motherfucking cactus.
01:29Are you okay?
01:49Where did you come from?
01:54Santa?
01:55Could it be?
01:56Did Santa send down a hot guy to be my boyfriend?
02:01You look like you need a Christmas present.
02:04Go on.
02:05Pick one.
02:07It's yours.
02:13I pick you.
02:14Oh.
02:16No.
02:17No.
02:18No.
02:18No.
02:21No.
02:32Yes.
02:32So, Mr. Silvea, are you ready to be my reindeer?
02:53Wait, how?
02:55How do you know my name?
02:57Magic.
02:59No, it's right on that student card over there.
03:02Can I tell you a secret?
03:07This is my first time.
03:09I don't really know what I'm doing.
03:12Our first time?
03:14Do you not...
03:15Do you not like me because I'm a virgin?
03:18No, it's just...
03:21Are you sure you want your first time to be...
03:25With me?
03:29I'm sure.
03:32Do you leave?
03:51Morning, Miss Reyn, dear.
03:53Last night wasn't a game to me.
03:55If you are up for more, let's see where this goes.
03:59Brett Langley.
04:00I slept with Brett Langley.
04:07The bad boy?
04:12I got remarried.
04:15You got remarried?
04:16We just buried Mom a few months ago.
04:20Where's the goddamn rush to swap her out?
04:22I'm telling you, not asking.
04:26Her name is Rosemary Vale.
04:29She's got a daughter that goes to your school.
04:31Her name's Thistle.
04:32And she's a freshman.
04:33Like I fucking care.
04:35I will never accept that.
04:37It's not your call.
04:42I'm planning a family dinner next Monday.
04:45Play nice, and you'll get your credit cards back.
04:49No more busting ass over these shitty jobs.
04:55Not a goddamn chance in hell.
04:57But you're not quite what I pictured.
05:07I did it.
05:21I proved myself.
05:23Maybe they'll finally accept me.
05:27Well, well.
05:29Here comes our virgin queen.
05:32I'm not a virgin anymore.
05:33I will delete it right now.
05:47Give it to me.
05:52This is too good to delete.
05:55Imagine how pissed Rat will be
05:57when he hears that this bitch was name-dropping him for attention.
06:03Who made our little reindeer climb?
06:15Let's go.
06:24Relax.
06:25I've got you.
06:26I was wrong about him.
06:28He's actually nice.
06:30Nothing likes a bad boy everyone talks about.
06:32He'll help me with Britney, right?
06:36Brad?
06:37Would you be my date to the Hong Kong dance on Monday?
06:42What?
06:43I can't hear you.
06:45Forget it.
06:46I'll ask another time.
06:52This is how you'll help me shake it off.
06:57You?
06:58Baking a cake.
06:59All right.
07:04Just some tough guy with some bad temper and no hobbies.
07:08Is that the picture?
07:12Is that right?
07:13How's that taste?
07:31Just me.
07:33All right.
07:34Let's go.
07:40I have teamwork.
07:41Bet the homecoming dance is in two days.
07:51Would you maybe want to...
07:53Now sugar.
07:58Sugar makes you happy.
08:01It's science.
08:01Anyway, what were you saying?
08:12This is the first cake anyone's ever given me.
08:19I'll never forget it.
08:21You're telling me you've never had a birthday cake?
08:25No one's ever thrown me a birthday party before.
08:27All right.
08:33Well then.
08:35Every cake...
08:37Needs a candle.
08:45Go ahead.
08:46She's not as bad as her mother.
09:01She's just...
09:02Her.
09:03So...
09:07Fire rat isn't here yet.
09:10He's like...
09:11Just ten minutes late.
09:14He's probably just...
09:16Run away.
09:16I'll...
09:17I'll text him again.
09:18Take it as fast.
09:20Oh, it's not again.
09:22There's no way you ever eaten to someone who looks like a 12 years old boy.
09:27Dude, you've got to see this.
09:33Rini's about to eat her alive.
09:37Since you're so desperate for Red's attention...
09:42Why don't I help you up?
09:43No.
09:44No, let me go.
09:55Oh.
09:56Oh, my God.
10:13Look at you.
10:14Oh, don't do it.
10:15Oh, don't do it.
10:18So pretty.
10:20Really?
10:20Let's show everyone how gorgeous you are.
10:23Okay.
10:26Everyone, check this out.
10:29Fix your eyes on Aston Heights Top Girl.
10:34They so fail.
10:39Look how popular you are.
10:42Unfortunately, no matter how pathetic you look,
10:46Red won't care.
10:48Because he only belongs to me.
10:50No way.
11:18Red won't go for anyone but me.
11:22Hey.
11:26Now I heard someone's been spreading rumors that I slept with you.
11:34Great joke.
11:38Red, I need...
11:39It's showtime, liar.
11:53Oh, don't be shy now.
11:56Show us your charm.
11:58Everyone, let's give a round of applause for our new walking sex symbol.
12:05Dicks and Stormwoods know her.
12:15Sister's body makes us her.
12:19Oh, you get tired so soon.
12:22We should keep you going with some carbs, eh?
12:24Yummy.
12:34Yummy.
12:40Great.
12:41That's so much better.
12:45Don't let her joke.
12:47There's something to wash it down with.
12:49why did you lie is this what you wanted
13:00is she out of her mind this is a gala not a strip club
13:05something doesn't feel wrong isn't she doing folks into this
13:19we're even hiding you've got nothing in there she looks like a stick figure
13:26strip all you want honey no one's getting hard
13:49so i can finally lose my virginity
13:58oh god i think she's mistaking santa for tender
14:04oh look at you freckles like a moon to sandwich
14:12even your body looks like you haven't used kate to
14:15let's spare santa the tough case this year
14:18too bad your virgin ass will expire before any of this do
14:38you get your options first strip down
14:45and ask who in a make your little person's fish country
14:48or i can print this and put it all over your neighborhood
14:55please don't
14:58there is no way out of this
15:03why didn't you ask james
15:07go on
15:08three
15:11two
15:15james would you
15:17ew what the fuck
15:19i don't see what a fucking cactus
15:22are you okay
15:41where did you come from
15:45santa
15:49could it be
15:51did santa send down a hot guy to be my boyfriend
15:54you look like you need a christmas present
15:58go on
15:59pick one
16:00it's yours
16:02i pick you
16:08you
16:22oh
16:23oh
16:26So, Mr. Silvea, are you ready to be my reindeer?
16:47Wait, how?
16:49How do you know my name?
16:52Imagine.
16:53No, it's right on that student card over there.
16:56Can I tell you a secret?
17:01This is my first time.
17:04I don't really know what I'm doing.
17:06Our first time?
17:08Do you not like me because I'm a virgin?
17:12No, it's just...
17:15Are you sure you want your first time to be with me?
17:23I'm sure.
17:26Do you leave?
17:40Morning, Miss Reindeer.
17:48Last night wasn't a game to me.
17:50If you are up for more, let's see where this goes.
17:53Brett Langley.
17:56Langley?
17:58I slept with Brett Langley.
18:01The bad boy?
18:02I got remarried.
18:09You got remarried?
18:12You just buried mom a few months ago.
18:15Where's the goddamn russ to swap her out?
18:16I'm telling you, not asking.
18:20Her name is Rosemary Vale.
18:22She's got a daughter that goes to your school, her name's Thistle, and she's a freshman.
18:28Like I fucking care.
18:29I will never accept that.
18:32It's not your call.
18:33I'm planning a family dinner next Monday.
18:40Play nice, and you'll get your credit cards back.
18:43No more busting ass over these shitty jobs.
18:45Not a goddamn chance in hell.
18:59But you're not quite what I pictured.
19:02I did it.
19:15I proved myself.
19:17Maybe they'll finally accept me.
19:22Well, well.
19:24Here comes our virgin queen.
19:27I'm not a virgin anymore.
19:29I...
19:29I will delete it right now.
19:42Give it to me.
19:47This is too good to delete.
19:49Imagine how pissed Rat will be
19:51when he hears that this bitch was name-dropping him for attention.
19:54Who made our little reindeer cry?
20:10Let's go.
20:18Relax.
20:19I've got you.
20:20I was wrong about him.
20:23He's actually nice.
20:25Nothing likes to vibe the way everyone talks about.
20:27He'll help me with Britney.
20:29Right?
20:30Brad?
20:31Would you be my date to the pumpkin dance on Monday?
20:36What?
20:37I can't hear you.
20:39Forget it.
20:40I'll ask another time.
20:42This is how you'll help me shake it off.
20:51You?
20:52Baking a cake.
20:57Alright.
20:59Just some tough guy with some bad temper and no hobbies.
21:02Is that the picture?
21:07Is that right?
21:08How's that taste?
21:25Sweet.
21:27Alright.
21:28Let's go.
21:34I have teamwork.
21:38The homecoming dance is in two days.
21:45Would you maybe want to...
21:50Now sugar.
21:53Sugar makes you happy.
21:55It's science.
22:02Anyway, what were you saying?
22:04This is the first cake anyone's ever given me.
22:14I'll never forget it.
22:16You're telling me you've never had a birthday cake?
22:19No one's ever thrown me a birthday party before.
22:27Well then.
22:29Every cake...
22:31needs a candle.
22:32Go ahead.
22:52She's not as bad as her mother.
22:55She's just...
22:57her.
22:57So...
22:57fire rat isn't here yet.
23:05He's like...
23:0615 minutes late.
23:09He's probably just...
23:10ran away.
23:11I'll...
23:11I'll text him later.
23:12Take it back.
23:14It's not again.
23:16There's no way he will be into someone who looks like a 12 years old boy.
23:22Dude, you've got to see this.
23:28Brittany's about to eat her alive.
23:32Since you're so desperate for Brett's attention...
23:36Why don't I help you up?
23:38No.
23:39No, let me go.
23:39Oh my god.
23:53Look at you.
23:56Oh my god.
23:57Look at you.
23:58Oh my god.
24:02oh my god look at you both dolled up
24:09so pretty really let's show everyone how gorgeous you are
24:18everyone check this out
24:23it's your eyes on aster heights top girl
24:28please don't fail
24:30look how popular you are unfortunately no matter how pathetic you look
24:40rat won't care because he only belongs to me
24:44no way
25:00no way
25:12rat won't go for anyone but me
25:15now i heard someone's been spreading rumors
25:23that i slept with you
25:25great joke
25:29rat i need
25:33it's showtime liar
25:40oh don't be shy now show us your charm
25:51charm
25:53everyone
25:54let's give a round of applause
25:56how are you walking sexy
26:01dicks and stonewits know her so so spuddy makes us her
26:11oh you get tired so soon
26:16we should keep you going with some carbs
26:18yummy
26:24yummy
26:25great that's so much better
26:35that's so much better
26:37but don't let her joke
26:41there's nothing to do what she done with
26:43why did you lie
26:52is this what you wanted
26:54is she out of her mind
26:57this is a gala not a strip club
27:00something doesn't feel wrong
27:03isn't she being forced into this
27:06we're even hiding
27:16you got nothing in there
27:18she looks like a stick figure
27:20strip all you want honey
27:22no one's getting hard
27:24so i can finally lose my virginity
27:54oh god
27:56i think she's mistaking santa for tinder
27:59look at you
28:03freckles like a wounded sandwich
28:06even your body looks like you haven't used kate to
28:09let's spare santa the tough case this year
28:24too bad your virgin ass will expire before any of this do
28:32you get your options
28:37first strip down
28:39and ask who want to make your little christmas fish country
28:43or
28:44i can print this
28:47and put it all over your neighborhood
28:49please don't
28:51there is no way out of this
28:57why didn't you ask james
29:01go on
29:02i don't see what the fuck
29:16i don't see what a fucking cactus
29:18are you okay
29:35where did you come from
29:39santa
29:43could it be
29:45did santa send down a hot guy to be my boyfriend
29:49you look like you need a christmas present
29:52go on
29:53pick one
29:54it's yours
29:56i pick you
30:03i pick you
30:16so
30:36mr. surveyor
30:38are you ready to be my reindeer
30:40wait how
30:42how do you know my name
30:45magic
30:46no it's right on that student card over there
30:50can i tell you a secret
30:54this is my first time
30:57i don't really know what i'm doing
31:00our first time
31:02do you not
31:03do you not like me because i'm a virgin
31:06no it's just
31:08are you sure you want your first time to be
31:13with me
31:15i'm sure
31:18do you leave
31:35morning
31:41in this reendear
31:42last night wasn't a game to me
31:43if you are up for more
31:45let's see where this goes
31:47brett langley
31:48i slept with brett langley
31:54the bad boy
31:56i got remarried
32:02you got remarried
32:05you just buried mom a few months ago
32:09where's the goddamn rush to swap her out
32:11i'm telling you not asking
32:12the name is rosemary vale
32:17she's got a daughter that goes to your school
32:19name's thistle
32:20and she's a freshman
32:21like i fucking care
32:24i will never accept that
32:26it's not your call
32:28i'm planning a family dinner next monday
32:33play nice
32:35and you'll get your credit cards back
32:37no more busting ass up with these shitty jobs
32:40not a goddamn chance in hell
32:46but you're not quite what i pictured
32:56i did it
33:10i proved myself
33:10maybe they'll finally accept me
33:14well well
33:17here comes our virgin queen
33:20i'm not a virgin anymore
33:22i
33:23i will delete it right now
33:36give it to me
33:37huh
33:41this is too good to delete
33:43imagine how pissed rat will be
33:45when he hears that this bitch
33:47was name dropping him for attention
33:49who made our little reindeer cry
34:03let's go
34:05relax
34:13i've got you
34:14i was wrong about him
34:16he's actually nice
34:18nothing like the bad boy everyone talks about
34:21he'll help me with britney
34:23right
34:23brad
34:25would you be my date to the homecoming dance on monday
34:28what i can't hear you
34:33forget it
34:34i'll ask another time
34:36this is how you'll help me shake it off
34:42you
34:46you
34:46baking a cake
34:48all right
34:52just some tough guy with some bad temper and no hobbies
34:56is that the picture
34:58is that right
35:02how's that taste
35:14it's me
35:20all right
35:22all right let's go
35:23that's
35:35that's
35:36the homecoming dance is in two days
35:40Would you... maybe... want to...
35:45Now sugar.
35:47Sugar makes you happy.
35:49It's science.
35:57Anyway, what were you saying?
36:01This is the first cake anyone's ever given me.
36:07I'll never forget it.
36:10You're telling me you've never had a birthday cake?
36:13No one's ever thrown me a birthday party before.
36:22Well then, every cake needs a candle.
36:34Go ahead.
36:37She's not as bad as her mother.
36:49She's just... her.
36:51So...
36:52Why Rat isn't here yet?
36:57He's like...
36:59Just ten minutes late.
37:01He's probably just...
37:03Run away.
37:04I'll...
37:05I'll...
37:06I'll touch him again.
37:07Hey there, Rat.
37:08Ritz-Laggy.
37:09There's no way you're ever into someone who looks like a 12-years-old boy.
37:15Well, here's a boy.
37:20Dude.
37:21You've got to see this.
37:22Rini's about to eat her alive.
37:27Since you're so desperate for Rat's attention...
37:30Why didn't they help you up?
37:32No.
37:33No, let me go!
37:34No.
37:35No.
37:36No.
37:40No.
37:46No.
37:48Oh my god, look at you, they're all dolled up.
38:07So pretty, really.
38:09Let's show everyone how gorgeous you are.
38:15Everyone, check this out.
38:18Fix your eyes on Aston Heights Top Girl.
38:23Please don't fail.
38:29Look how popular you are.
38:31Unfortunately, no matter how pathetic you look,
38:35Rhett won't care because he only belongs to me.
38:45No way!
38:53Press won't go for anyone but me.
38:55Hi!
38:57Now I heard someone's been spreading rumors that I slept with you.
39:07Great joke.
39:11Where's Rhett?
39:12Rhett, I need her.
39:13It's show time, liar.
39:17rumors that i slept with you great joke
39:27right i mean
39:33it's show time liar
39:42oh don't be shy now show us your charm
39:47everyone let's give a round of applause our new walking sex
40:01dicks and stonewits know her sister's buddy makes us
40:07oh you get tired so soon we should keep you going with some carbs
40:17it's so much better
40:25great that's so much better but don't let her choke because i'm going to wash it down with
40:38why did you lie is this what you wanted
40:48out of her mind this is a gala not a strip club
40:55something doesn't feel wrong isn't she being forced into this
41:09where are you even hiding you got nothing in there
41:13she looks like a stick figure strip all you want honey no one's getting hard
41:25so i can finally lose my virginity
41:33so i can finally lose my virginity
41:45oh god i think she's mistaking standoff for tender
41:56look at you freckles like a moon to sandwich
42:01even your body looks like you haven't used kate to let's spare a sound to the tough case this
42:06here
42:23too bad your virgin ass will expire before any of this
42:26you get your options first strip down and ask who want to make your little person's fish country
42:37so i can print this and put it all over your name with it please don't
42:46there is no way out of this nice why didn't you ask james go on
42:56what the fuck i don't know what the fuck i don't know what the fuck the characters
43:18are you okay
43:30where did you come from
43:33santa could it be did santa send down a hot guy to be my boyfriend
43:45you look like you need a christmas present go on pick one it's yours
43:56i pick you
44:03i pick you
44:16so mr sylvea are you ready to be my reindeer wait how how do you know my name
44:39i do no it's right on that student card over there
44:47can i tell you a secret this is my first time
44:53i don't really know what i'm doing
44:55our first time
44:57do you not do you not like me because i'm a virgin
45:01oh it's just
45:02are you sure you want your first time to be
45:08with me
45:12i'm sure
45:16do you leave
45:28do you leave
45:29morning this reindeer last night wasn't a game to me if you are up for more let's see where this
45:41goes Brett Langley I slept with Brett Langley the bad boy I got remarried you got
45:59remarried we just buried mom a few months ago where's the goddamn rush to swap her out
46:05I'm telling you not asking the name is Rosemary Vale she's got a daughter that goes to your school
46:13name's Thistle and she's a freshman like I fucking care I will never accept that it's not your call
46:22I'm planning a family dinner next Monday play nice and you'll get your credit cards back
46:31no more busting ass over these shitty jobs
46:34not a goddamn chance in hell
46:40but you're not quite what I pictured
46:50I did it I proved myself maybe they'll finally accept me
47:09well well here comes our virgin queen I'm not a virgin anymore I
47:18I will delete it right now give it to me
47:31huh this is too good to delete imagine how pissed Brett will be when he hears that this bitch was
47:42name dropping him for attention
47:44who made our little reindeer fly let's go
48:00relax I've got you I was wrong about him
48:11he's actually nice nothing likes the bad boy everyone talks about
48:15he'll help me with Britney right
48:18Brett would you be my date to the Hong Kong dancer
48:22what I can't hear you forget it I'll ask another time
48:30this is how you'll help me shake it off
48:36you baking a cake
48:42all right just some tough guy with some bad temper and no hobbies
48:50is that the picture
48:52is that right
48:56how's that taste
49:08that's me all right let's go
49:17that's the homecoming dance is in two days did you maybe wanna
49:36go
49:38now sugar sugar makes you happy it's science
49:50anyway what were you saying this is the first cake anyone's ever given me
49:58thank you
50:00I'll never forget it
50:04telling me you've never had a birthday cake
50:06no one's ever brought me a birthday party before
50:10well then
50:16every cake needs a candle
50:20go ahead
50:28she's not as bad as her mother
50:30she's just her
50:44she's just her
50:48so
50:50why rat isn't here yet
50:52he's like
50:54that's ten minutes late
50:56he's probably just
50:58went away
50:59I'll test him again
51:00hey rat
51:02rich legging
51:04there's no way he'll ever eat
51:06someone who looks like a
51:08twelve years old boy
51:10dude
51:12you gotta see this
51:14Brittany's about to eat her alive
51:16since you're so desperate for Brett's attention
51:20why don't I help you up
51:22no
51:24no let me go
51:26no
51:28no let me go
51:38aww
51:40oh my god
51:54oh my god
51:56look at you
51:58oh doll doll
52:00so pretty
52:02really
52:04let's show everyone how gorgeous you are
52:08everyone
52:10check this out
52:12it's your eyes
52:14on the Aston Heights top girl
52:16he's so
52:18sale
52:22look how popular you are
52:24unfortunately
52:26no matter how pathetic you look
52:28rat won't care
52:30because he only belongs to me
52:32no way
52:34mij
52:36no way
52:3835
52:59no way
53:01no way
53:01Hey, Brett won't go for anyone but me.
53:05Hey!
53:09Now I heard someone's been spreading rumors that I slept with you.
53:17Great joke.
53:21Brett, I need...
53:27It's showtime, liar.
53:31I feel like only you could stand.
53:36Oh, don't be shy now.
53:39Show us your charm.
53:41Everyone!
53:43Let's give a round of applause for our new walking sex symbol.
53:55Dix and Stormwitz know her.
53:58Sister Spuddy makes us her.
54:02Oh, you get tired so soon.
54:05We should keep you going with some carving.
54:13Yummy.
54:14Great. That's so much better.
54:27Don't let her joke.
54:30I think there's something to wash it down with.
54:32Why did you lie?
54:42Is this what you wanted?
54:45Is she out of her mind?
54:47This is a gala, not a strip club.
54:48Something doesn't feel wrong.
54:49Isn't she being forced into this?
54:51Where are you even hiding? You got nothing in there.
55:07She looks like a stick figure.
55:09Strip all you want, honey.
55:10No one's getting hurt.
55:12No one's getting hurt.
55:14Ya, they've got nothing to come.
55:15You're so hard.
55:16What happened?
55:17No one's getting hurt.
55:18I'm going to get hurt.
55:20It's because I'm not getting hurt.
55:21It's because I'm not getting hurt.
55:23She looks like a buck.
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