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A cancer diagnosis, an accident, a miscarriage. In Good Shape looks at how to overcome devastating life events.
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00:00the future looks bright you've got your first proper job a wedding planned perhaps a baby on
00:13the way but then an accident a miscarriage or a life-threatening illness how do you cope
00:23at first the only thing that mattered to me was winning the fight
00:28i wanted to live overcoming adversity now on in good shape
00:35six years ago marvin pease who was training to be an electrician noticed a strange pulling sensation
00:55in his groin a urologist soon discovered the cause he told me it's not just a lump it's definitely
01:04cancer later we did another ultrasound and the tumor had already grown by three millimeters
01:09it was the size of a bicycle valve cap
01:12a shocking diagnosis cancer doctors advised marvin pease to undergo chemotherapy one of the potential
01:22side effects they said could be infertility even at 20 he knew that he wanted to have children one day
01:28so he decided to do something about it he launched a fundraising campaign to pay to have some of his
01:36sperm frozen the procedure was successfully carried out shortly before he was admitted to hospital to
01:42start cancer treatments in the first five to six days i was given chemo twice a day one session lasting
01:51half an hour and one for two hours and then over the following two weeks i was injected every monday as
01:57an outpatient during that time i often felt sick i took cortisone which made me gain weight all my hair fell
02:08out i slept a lot half of the day the chemotherapy weakened marvin so much that he had to take a break from
02:18his training course i was out for over half a year and in hospital i was plagued by self-doubt wondering
02:27whether i should continue my traineeship at all perhaps i should rethink everything
02:32but once the therapy was over marvin decided to return to the program
02:38cancer had shown him just how fleeting life can suddenly turn out to be
02:44life is too short to mess around i want to work hard now while i'm still young and enjoy more freedom
02:55later on that's why i decided to get my master craftsman qualification quickly and then start my
03:01own business now six years later marvin is considered cancer free he has his own company and an employee
03:10he even recently won an award for startups in the region
03:16i'm very proud definitely and there's much more to come too i want to build something up my colleague
03:28is a big help and i'm hoping i can bring more people on board i want to go into other areas like
03:33energy consulting and air con technology so there's a lot mapped out
03:37a lot has also happened in his private life since his diagnosis
03:44he met his partner jasmine both knew that his chemotherapy might have caused infertility
03:50i always wanted children i work with them too so that's actually a big part of it for me
04:00but we didn't worry too much about it at first because we knew we always had the option of
04:09artificial insemination and it wasn't as if there was no chance at all
04:15but as it turned out there was no need for artificial insemination
04:19jasmine became pregnant naturally the couple's daughter is now five months old
04:24as soon as we said okay let's just try and see what happens it worked right away so a big surprise
04:32of course we were very happy and i hope it works a few more times
04:36marvin pease has won his battle with cancer and he hopes that his story will help inspire others
04:44testicular cancer mainly affects young men the earlier it's detected the better the chances of
04:53recovery so it's a good idea to check yourself every few weeks for example in the shower if you notice
05:01any swelling hardening or small lumps see a doctor as soon as possible luckily testicular cancer isn't
05:09very common it's a different story with breast cancer every year over two million women receive a
05:16diagnosis here too a physical exam can reveal warning signs which are then confirmed via mammogram
05:23each cancer diagnosis brings fear and uncertainty will i survive how will my partner cope will i be able to
05:32take care of my children added to this are the side effects of treatment weakness nausea hair loss
05:39physical changes can deal a blow to your self-esteem but some simple tricks can boost self-confidence
05:46and even bring back some joy stephanie oester was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and today
05:55she's attending a cosmetics workshop for patients two of the five women here are happy to talk on camera
06:03the other three prefer to remain in the background cancer treatment side effects can make appearing in public
06:09hard i'm still quite relaxed but it would be more difficult if for example my eyebrows or eyelashes fell
06:17out there may be more to come for some it can help to consciously look for the positive during this
06:24difficult time i think it just does me good anything that's positive meeting friends exercising i think
06:32that's good for you even when you're not feeling so well or when you're pale and above all you can't sleep
06:39i think we all have that problem putting on makeup or getting dressed up can make you feel better
06:49beautician clara marie aust has a lot of experience helping women with cancer
06:55she runs the beauty courses on a voluntary basis
06:57you can still be attractive with cancer you can be beautiful of course your appearance changes but
07:05because many women develop real strength and say i'm fighting this that strength starts to shine
07:11through and they have a different aura
07:16stephanie oester has never worn makeup before now she thinks might be the time to start
07:21and practice makes perfect but it's not just about makeup sunscreen is very important even in winter
07:32that's because both radiation therapy and chemotherapy cause changes to the skin cells
07:38and to the cells in the body in general and that's why the skin needs extra protection
07:43thermal water for hot flashes and feel-good cosmetic products free of perfume and preservatives
07:51the dark circles under stephanie oester's eyes come from many sleepless nights
07:57but the 38 year old is determined to retain control where she can
08:03i can be in a bad mood i can also be in a good mood it's a decision and i prefer to be in a good mood
08:08it doesn't always work there are days when everything is just rubbish but on days when things are good it does
08:18heike weiss had some good news yesterday her doctors say she won't be needing chemo
08:25meanwhile stephanie oester marks points where she could draw eyebrows
08:32it's pretty close to how it might look
08:34she says the tips here are really useful this is something i definitely want to learn
08:41after all she says you never know what can happen so it's good to be prepared
08:46she wears a badge saying my oncologist did my hair humor as a survival strategy
08:53and clara marie aust shows the women how to use scarves once hat season has passed
08:59she says with cancer you can still be beautiful it happens an estimated 23 million times globally per
09:10year miscarriage and it can be devastating close to half of women affected develop depression or anxiety
09:17disorders and suicide risk increases almost fourfold at least in part because women rarely receive any
09:25support hardly anyone talks about it time for a change
09:31imagine saying to someone whose house has just burned down that sucks but you know you can build
09:37another house just try again would you tell someone whose dog just died at least he went as a puppy
09:44before you got too attached would you say to someone whose spouse or partner has just passed obviously it
09:52just wasn't meant to be maybe it's a blessing in disguise nope you would never say things like that
09:58would you and yet these kinds of comments are what many women hear when they open up about a loss that has
10:05brought their world crashing down today we're going to talk about something difficult losing a baby
10:13about the possible causes of miscarriage and how to be sensitive to someone who has experienced one
10:22a simple i'm sorry goes a long way there's no need to give your take on what happened says
10:28gynecologist laura trost even if the loss occurs very early in the pregnancy
10:35the grief of losing a child is still there many women already feel like mothers and have started to
10:41imagine a future together with their child perhaps they've calculated how much older a sibling will be
10:47or maybe they made plans to tell family and friends the good news the grief that none of these
10:52things will ever happen is justified miscarriage occurs often very often and it can happen to any
11:01woman regardless of ethnicity social class or age according to expert estimates about 15 out of every 100
11:09pregnancies worldwide and in miscarriage and the real numbers are likely to be twice as high that's
11:16because many of them happen at a very early stage before a woman even realizes she's pregnant
11:26very early miscarriages are also called chemical pregnancies they are a fairly common experience but
11:34that doesn't make them any easier of course in the past women would have a late period and think
11:39nothing of it this is changed with modern pregnancy tests modern tests are not all that different from
11:47old ones they measure levels of hcg also known as the pregnancy hormone in a woman's urine up until the
11:581960s the african clawed frog performed that task well sort of a doctor would inject the animal with a woman's pee
12:08then wait to see if it laid any eggs in the next 12 to 18 hours
12:18if the animal did the pregnancy was confirmed the frog test was accurate reliable and widely available
12:27but it was also a little slow to get an accurate answer women had to wait a few weeks after missing
12:33their periods modern pregnancy tests can give you a positive result several days before you even
12:40expect your next period to start but finding out you're pregnant so early is not always a good thing
12:46the disappointment can be huge if it doesn't work out that's why it's so important to talk about
12:51miscarriage right from the start even if it takes a little of the excitement
12:56out of the pregnancy if a pregnancy is lost at a later stage or if the fetus weighs over 500 grams
13:04the process is called stillbirth a miscarriage on the other hand is usually defined as the loss
13:11of a pregnancy in the first 24 weeks of gestation
13:16we distinguish between early and late miscarriages they happen for different reasons today we are going
13:22to focus on early miscarriages which is when the pregnancy ends before the 12th week there are
13:29several ways in which an early miscarriage can happen a spontaneous miscarriage sometimes called a
13:35spontaneous abortion involves severe cramping and bleeding that is heavier than a normal period it can
13:42last for several weeks the embryo detaches from the womb on its own and is expelled in the first few
13:50hours the woman passes fetal tissue which can look like large blood clots or be white or gray for many
13:57a traumatic experience a missed miscarriage happens when the embryo or fetus stops developing but there
14:05are no signs a miscarriage is going to occur then a procedure is needed either medical or surgical
14:13to remove the pregnancy tissue from the womb to acknowledge pregnancy loss a special ceremony
14:21is common practice in countries like japan thailand and china it gives parents space to grieve
14:30and is supposed to comfort the soul of the unborn child
14:34the experience of losing a pregnancy may be different around the world but when it happens
14:44many women regardless of culture feel stigma shame and guilt and then they fear it could happen again
14:53some plunge into a depression that lasts for months or years even if they go on to have healthy babies
15:00maybe we need a new word miscarriage sounds so judgmental as if the woman has failed to carry
15:17something or dropped it but when it happens it's not the woman's fault in fact it's nobody's fault and
15:25the reasons why it happened often remain unclear in the 19th century some believed that a fright
15:32such as seeing a mouse or having a bad dream could end a pregnancy or that the loss was a punishment for
15:39moral failure that's nonsense of course new evidence points to some clear risk factors for pregnancy loss
15:48they include increasing age in both women and men excess weight and being of black ethnicity
15:55in many countries access to good health care and antenatal care is not a given even though it's
16:04crucial for a healthy pregnancy outcome also linked to pregnancy loss are factors like alcohol and other
16:11drugs smoking air pollution pesticides prolonged stress and night shifts infections can also threaten a
16:22pregnancy or lead to fetal abnormalities for example preventable diseases like malaria and syphilis
16:30pose big risks in some parts of the world at other times the embryo is unable to attach to the womb because
16:38it has an unusual shape its lining may be scarred or there may be polyps or fibroids this can be easily
16:46treated what also plays a key role in a smooth pregnancy is hormone balance one can end early due to
16:53issues like pcos diabetes thyroid problems or low levels of progesterone so if a woman has one or more
17:00of these conditions they need to be treated good medical care can counter many of the causes of early
17:07pregnancy loss though unfortunately not all of them if the unborn child does not develop properly in the womb
17:16there's nothing we can do genetic defects such as missing or extra chromosomes end around two
17:22in three pregnancies spontaneously all on their own studies show that the older the mother or the father
17:30the more frequently genetic abnormalities occur but it's important to remember that most women even in their
17:40mid to late 30s will have normal pregnancies and healthy babies there are many misconceptions about
17:48what can cause things to go wrong in a pregnancy but feeling temporarily stressed or exercising really hard
17:57won't cause one to end be reassured that if it happens it's not because of anything you did or didn't do
18:09if you experienced a pregnancy loss talk to your midwife if you have one they're also trained to
18:15help with grief and it might be a good idea to involve your other children and especially your partner
18:21who may be affected too and when can you try to get pregnant again
18:26is there a rule of thumb
18:30this is pretty much up to the individual in theory you could start again right away but many women
18:37prefer to wait at least one cycle to get back into their own rhythm
18:42a pregnancy that follows an unsuccessful one can bring mixed feelings joy and healing but also anxiety
18:50sadness and guilt
18:56i like the idea of calling a child after a loss a rainbow baby it gives space to the emotional storm
19:03that comes with that loss but also the hope for a brighter future
19:07mental strength and flexibility in times of crisis resilience why do people respond so differently to
19:16adversity we spoke to resilience researcher donya gila
19:21one person will do everything they can to get out of a crisis another may remain passive
19:26these are mechanisms that we've learned over the course of our lives but even if we don't deal with
19:32a crisis very well once it doesn't mean that we'll continue to do that in future crises
19:38in other words each crisis is individual it's common to feel shocked when you receive bad news is it okay to allow yourself to feel anger grief and fear
19:50it's completely normal to react like that and it would actually be bad to suppress or deny our emotions
19:59that usually only makes them appear in other forms they might then manifest as physical ailments or we might
20:05become really frustrated or irritable but at some point you have to try to live your life and move forward
20:14how can you do that these are major events so there are no magic formulas but what can be said in
20:23general about such situations is that it always helps to have a support network because talking about
20:29your suffering helps you to stop feeling isolated social support can be the resilience factor that
20:35enables you to cope better with crises a serious illness can throw all your plans into disarray it's tough yet many
20:49people manage to overcome adversity soccer coach christian emers used to be a passionate player himself
20:59then at the age of 21 he injured his foot and the pain just wouldn't go away
21:06and then i have to keep my foot remained swollen around the ankle area and it always hurt
21:14but i just went back to playing soccer as normal like a young naive guy following his passion
21:21i took painkillers so i could keep on playing
21:27but over time the pain got worse so he sought medical advice
21:31and then the diagnosis i had a tumor in my foot it was ewing's sarcoma this extremely malignant tumor
21:40which forms in the bones only occurs in children and young people under the age of 25.
21:45with a tumor like this there's always a risk that it can spread usually to the vital organs
21:57so there was a risk that it would spread upwards
22:01i mean it's a long way from the foot to a vital organ but the doctors said
22:07okay even if the therapy works which it did we think we should remove everything around the tumor as well
22:13which meant amputating his lower leg a devastating prospect for such a young man
22:24at first the only thing that mattered to me was winning the fight i wanted to live
22:33so for me there really was no other option but to just go with it
22:37that was 10 years ago christian has worn a lower leg prosthesis ever since today he needs to get a
22:46new socket the stump changes over time so the prosthesis has to be adjusted this is now the
22:53lower edge of the kneecap let's take a closer look to see if there's anything special orthopedic
22:59technician martin brehm will make a plaster cast
23:02for me the most important part is making the plaster impression because i can use my hands to
23:09sense the stump the structure of the tissue the muscles the bone structures and i can already start
23:16shaping the plaster cast the prosthetic socket has to fit perfectly when the plaster is dry the cast is
23:26removed and then serves as a mold for a replica of the stump
23:30after a few minor adjustments the prosthetic socket is ready to be fitted
23:42you can learn how the shaft is positioned with the help of books
23:45or the manufacturer's specifications and then adjust as necessary
23:52but the art is preparing the socket so that the wearer can apply force without it causing any pain
24:00effects for christian getting a prosthesis was like starting a whole new life
24:06it promised a return to normality a way back to caring for his garden his family his children
24:13nonetheless he found adapting to his new limb challenging at first
24:21everything hurt there was pressure at the front and it was very uncomfortable at the back too
24:26the first few weeks weren't pleasant at all but with time i got used to it
24:34you have to make friends with the prosthesis and eventually you can put the crutches away and walk
24:39for five minutes then 10 then 15 it gets better every day the stump gradually hardens you develop calluses
24:50here and there and then over time you get used to it all and you can move around and lead a normal everyday life
25:02and that can include sports like cycling
25:08that and his job as a soccer coach have given christian back a lot of quality of life
25:13today at 31 he feels like he's back in control
25:20and he's proud of how he managed to navigate the challenges he faced
25:28i think it helps to try and stay optimistic
25:32don't think about giving up keep pursuing your goals
25:35i found that having a goal in mind helped me move forward i didn't even consider going backwards
25:47look forwards not backwards easier said than done if you find yourself stuck check out in good shape
25:55maybe we'll have an answer or two so see you next time and until then take care
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