- 4 hours ago
I Can't Divorce You HD ( Comedy, Romance )
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'm sorry, sir. We're going to have to cancel your reservation.
00:00:03The car rental lot had flooded.
00:00:06I didn't have time for this.
00:00:08I was already running a little late and was trying to remember my answers to all the pre-interview questions I'd practiced.
00:00:13So I had them drop me off to the closest place.
00:00:16Excuse me.
00:00:18And then suddenly, I was standing in front of her.
00:00:22Thank you for choosing Savannah Car Rentals. How can I help?
00:00:26I can't remember which one of us smiled first.
00:00:30Hi.
00:00:32Hi.
00:00:33I just wanted to get a car.
00:00:36Okay.
00:00:38It's nice to be careful.
00:00:41July 10th.
00:00:43I'm May 10th.
00:00:45What are the chances?
00:00:47Actually, the chances are 1 in 30, but that didn't matter.
00:00:51We both could feel something happening.
00:00:53Cool.
00:00:54And so, by the end of my first four hours in Savannah, I had a job.
00:00:59And more importantly, I had a date.
00:01:06A little less than a year later, we were married.
00:01:09And to think, it all happened because some guy working for Savannah Water forgot to regulate the pressure.
00:01:15And every time I think we should remodel, I speak up and say we have to go to Paris.
00:01:31Great.
00:01:32Great.
00:01:33Then let's go to Paris.
00:01:34And then I wake up the next morning and say we have to remodel.
00:01:37You know, we've been trying to decide if we want to put a new pool in the backyard or take that trip to Cabo.
00:01:44Oh.
00:01:45And I'm very glad that we decided that we're going to do the pool.
00:01:47Mm-hmm.
00:01:48Honey, I thought we decided on Cabo.
00:01:53Yes.
00:01:54Right.
00:01:55No, we're going to Cabo.
00:01:56We are going to Cabo.
00:01:57Rain Park.
00:01:58Wow.
00:01:59That must be Katie and Chuck.
00:02:01Here are the wines.
00:02:02She's wine, he's red.
00:02:05Hi!
00:02:06Katie, are you okay?
00:02:10Where's Chuck?
00:02:11I mean, that's why all these jobs are moved to Florida and Texas.
00:02:16There's no state income tax.
00:02:17You know, part of me has always kind of wanted to live in Texas.
00:02:19What about all those tornadoes?
00:02:20It's so dangerous.
00:02:21That about Florida.
00:02:22You know, Florida's great.
00:02:23It's right next door.
00:02:24Well, they have a lot of hurricanes.
00:02:27And not to mention the humidity.
00:02:29It's, it's...
00:02:30We were supposed to go to Florida this summer.
00:02:35Is this who's getting married?
00:02:38We have the plane tickets already in the hotel and my...
00:02:43My...
00:02:45Bridesmaid's dress.
00:02:48And he even said it was going to be like our second honeymoon.
00:02:52But then he screwed a girl he met online.
00:02:57Katie?
00:02:58Would you like to lie down?
00:02:59Or...
00:03:00Guys, I'm fine.
00:03:01I'm fine.
00:03:02I'm fine.
00:03:03I'm gonna be a divorce wedding planner.
00:03:04That's great.
00:03:05More Syrah?
00:03:06Anyone?
00:03:07Yes.
00:03:08Yeah.
00:03:09I think Jan might have some Xanax.
00:03:10Oh, Steve and Sabrina just liked our photo.
00:03:11Oh.
00:03:12They just said, where's their invite?
00:03:13I've always liked them.
00:03:14Yeah, they're nice.
00:03:15We haven't seen them in a while.
00:03:16I'm fine.
00:03:17I'm fine.
00:03:18I'm fine.
00:03:19I'm fine.
00:03:20I'm fine.
00:03:21I'm fine.
00:03:22I'm fine.
00:03:23I'm fine.
00:03:24I'm fine.
00:03:25I'm fine.
00:03:26I'm fine.
00:03:27I'm fine.
00:03:28I'm fine.
00:03:29I'm fine.
00:03:30I'm fine.
00:03:31I'm fine.
00:03:32You know, Sabrina just liked our photo.
00:03:33Oh.
00:03:34They just said, where's their invite?
00:03:36I've always liked them.
00:03:37Yeah, they're nice.
00:03:38We haven't seen them in a while.
00:03:39We should invite them to the next barbecue.
00:03:41Maybe we could have a cookout competition.
00:03:43I mean, he's always bragging about his brisket.
00:03:46That's not that good.
00:03:47No, it's too dry.
00:03:49No way.
00:03:52What?
00:03:53Um, Chuck just changed his status to single.
00:03:59He did?
00:04:00Yeah.
00:04:01Well, that is disgusting.
00:04:02You should unfriend him.
00:04:04No.
00:04:05Okay.
00:04:06I mean, it's up to you.
00:04:07Only do it if it's what you really want.
00:04:30No way.
00:04:31I won't feel alone when I fall.
00:04:37If I have your fingers on the window.
00:04:40I won't make you worry if he's coming home.
00:04:43I'll leave you wondering whether you're too late.
00:04:47Love won't tear you down and call your name.
00:04:48I'll laugh at your pain.
00:04:49Love won't sacrifice hopes and dreams.
00:04:50A heartache and shame.
00:04:51Love won't beat you or burn you.
00:04:52I'll bring you out to try.
00:04:53I'll hang you out to try.
00:04:54I'll leave you wondering whether you're too late
00:05:00Love won't tear you down and call your name
00:05:04I'll laugh at your pain
00:05:07Love won't sacrifice your hopes and dreams
00:05:11A heartache and shame
00:05:13Love won't beat you or blame
00:05:17I'll hang you out to dry
00:05:21If he goes, I'll buy you the first three rounds
00:05:26If he doesn't go, you owe me
00:05:28I can take that
00:05:29Prove me right, Nate
00:05:30No, no, no, prove me wrong
00:05:32We got an extra ticket for the game tonight
00:05:34And he thinks if we offer it to you, you won't go
00:05:36He thinks you will
00:05:37It's the first three rounds on the winner
00:05:39God, guys
00:05:41I can't
00:05:42I don't know
00:05:43I love it
00:05:44I can't
00:05:45Tonight I've got plans
00:05:46Susan, steak tips, game shows waiting on them
00:05:49That was last night actually
00:05:51No, no, tonight's remodeling shows
00:05:52Susan and I are redoing the new bathroom
00:05:54She'd kill me if I missed it
00:05:55Okay
00:05:56I'll go with you guys next time
00:05:57You realize you tell us that every single week, right?
00:06:00Look, it's cool
00:06:01Just tell us you'd rather go home and hang with your wife
00:06:03Well, stop asking
00:06:04No, it's just
00:06:06If I start going out on guys' nights
00:06:07Then she'll start going out on girls' nights
00:06:09And then before you know it
00:06:10I'm only going to see her on the weekends
00:06:12And that's wrong because?
00:06:15Weekends are for projects
00:06:17Projects
00:06:18Projects?
00:06:19Yeah
00:06:20Mowing the lawn, painting the trim, building a new deck
00:06:22Look, Susan and I made a commitment to make our commitment work
00:06:26And you know what that takes
00:06:27Masochistic guilt?
00:06:28No, it takes commitment
00:06:30Look, when you guys find the right relationship
00:06:33You love that commitment
00:06:36No, man, you're right
00:06:38You're right, I mean
00:06:40We're just going to go to the game
00:06:42Yeah
00:06:43We're going to get hammered
00:06:44Yeah
00:06:45We're going to probably embarrass ourselves
00:06:46Yeah
00:06:47In front of some co-eds
00:06:48Oh
00:06:49But you'd rather go home to your wife
00:06:51That's amazing
00:06:52Yeah
00:06:53Seriously, man
00:06:54I'm kind of lucky
00:06:55I tell myself that every day
00:06:58Just to clean down these walls
00:07:00Free it up from all the plastic plaster
00:07:01That is a great idea for a backsplash
00:07:03What do you think?
00:07:04Okay
00:07:05I'll start with the scrape
00:07:06I don't know, what do you think?
00:07:07Maybe
00:07:08Maybe
00:07:09Yeah
00:07:10Maybe
00:07:11Maybe
00:07:14Love you
00:07:15Love you too
00:07:18Well, we want to do the infinity pool
00:07:21It looks amazing, but
00:07:23Oh, grab the glasses
00:07:24He's recently
00:07:25She sent me
00:07:28Hi
00:07:29Hi
00:07:30Hello
00:07:31I can't eat it
00:07:32I thought you'd love cheesecake
00:07:37I do, but
00:07:38I made a deal with Deborah
00:07:40She stops using her passive-aggressive manipulation to make me go visit her mother and I lose ten pounds
00:07:48Oh
00:07:49Well, commitment takes compromise
00:07:52No
00:07:53It takes ignorance
00:07:55What's this?
00:07:56Some event the city's hosting
00:07:59They were looking for a design for the new concert hall
00:08:02Oh, cool
00:08:03Are you going?
00:08:04Oh, Christ
00:08:05I wish
00:08:06But I've got Deborah's third annual organic guacamole competition that she hosts every year with her sisters
00:08:13Oh, that sounds fun
00:08:14Yes
00:08:15If you don't have a dick
00:08:17You should go to that though
00:08:19Free food, free booze, and who knows
00:08:22You might even get inspired to design something
00:08:25Right
00:08:31It's the wife
00:08:32Time to compromise
00:08:42Hey
00:08:43Hey, I left some frosting off the list this morning, so can you pick some up?
00:08:47It's in aisle three next to the flower
00:08:50Yeah, but frosting for what?
00:08:52Well, I told Dan and Jan that we would bring a cake on Friday
00:08:59Nate?
00:09:00Yeah, uh, sorry
00:09:01I, um, do we really want to go to that?
00:09:04I mean, it's just to celebrate the first day of construction on the new pool
00:09:07Well, what else would we do?
00:09:09Well, uh, I was thinking the city's hosting this event to, uh, find architects to design the new concert hall and I don't know, I thought it sounded like it could be fun
00:09:21Susan?
00:09:22Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, we could go, but last time we went to one of those things you were bored out of your mind and you made me promise that we would never go again
00:09:31Besides, we already told Dan and Jan we would be there
00:09:36Yeah, you know what? It was unbearable
00:09:40Intolerable
00:09:41But it's up to you
00:09:44Only do it if it's what you really want
00:09:51Hello?
00:10:00Susan?
00:10:01What's wrong?
00:10:04It just hit me, okay? This, this, this wave of emotion, this, this feeling and, and
00:10:11I don't know how to describe it, but
00:10:14Every part of me realized that every part of me is just
00:10:16Unhappy
00:10:19Miserable
00:10:24Miserable?
00:10:26Miserable?
00:10:27How, how's that even possible? I mean, one minute
00:10:30I'm on the phone and we're debating, like, what to do Friday night
00:10:33And then the next you tell me that you're miserable? I mean, how, how the fuck is that even possible?
00:10:37It just is, okay?
00:10:40No, no, listen to me
00:10:46Let's talk about this
00:10:49What can we do?
00:10:51What, what can I do to fix this?
00:10:54I wish I knew
00:11:06I really think I just needed to put this all in perspective
00:11:11I mean, what marriage didn't have a little bump in the role?
00:11:15I healed a client
00:11:16I figured that when our friends heard about this Friday night, they'd cut the cake and toast to Nate's night out
00:11:32Good morning
00:11:34Oh my, Nate, what the hell are you doing?
00:11:36I, I just thought we could talk, I, I brought us some coffee
00:11:39Okay, but don't just barge in on me when I'm naked
00:11:40What are you talking about? I've seen you naked a thousand times, I don't get what the big deal is
00:11:45Look, we're having some issues and, and I don't want to complicate things
00:11:50I don't have any issues
00:11:52You said you were unhappy, I'm not unhappy
00:11:55I love our life, our marriage, getting to sleep in my own bed
00:11:59I know, but
00:12:00But
00:12:03I feel different, okay?
00:12:05Different?
00:12:07Better
00:12:09What do you mean, better?
00:12:11What do you think I mean?
00:12:13Do you want me to lie to you?
00:12:16Maybe
00:12:19But the fourth wife, she was a real looker
00:12:23We both got our money's worth on that one
00:12:25So do you think you, uh, could ever get married again?
00:12:30Nah, no, no, no, I don't think so
00:12:32I'm, uh, I'm so unlucky
00:12:35If it were raining pussies, the one that would land on my head would have a dick already in it
00:12:39Alright, uh, moving on
00:12:43Ed, how about you, any, uh, movement with your action items this week?
00:12:49Yes, I finally got rid of that hyphen at the end of my name
00:12:56So I'm no longer Ed Smith Meyers, I'm just Ed Smith
00:13:05Congratulations, Ed, you're making real progress, I'm proud of you
00:13:10So Nate, how about you, would you like to share with the group?
00:13:15Um, hi, um, I'm Nate, um, I, I just, I just came to check this out because, um, American Voice is finished for the season, so, I had a little bit of extra time this week, but I don't, I don't really know what I'm doing here.
00:13:40I don't know what I'm doing here
00:13:42So, I'm gonna be changing the group of people like you
00:13:45I'm not going to be doing this for the season
00:13:47If it weren't like you never know what I'm doing, I'm going to be using a new video
00:13:50I'm gonna be using a new video
00:13:53So, I'm gonna make a new video
00:13:55Kind of a great demo
00:13:57Like this video is coming up
00:14:00Well I'm gonna be using a new video
00:14:03I'm not gonna be expecting this for the season
00:14:05Let's go.
00:14:35I know I got really lucky I was able to get an earlier flight it means we can
00:14:43definitely make it to Peter and Penny's potluck yeah yeah I'll pick up the bottle
00:14:47of Syrah you look like the expert the waffles here any good the waffles here
00:14:59any good oh yeah yeah they're okay got better my wife actually makes really good waffles
00:15:08whole grain soy milk egg whites and we only use grade A maple syrup medium amber
00:15:14a little maple leaf bottle from Vermont Susan has this way of pouring the maple syrup into
00:15:21every other square there's never too much but never too little I mean she would even
00:15:26take the butter out of the fridge an hour before we ate so it softens and then
00:15:30when it hits the top of the waffle it just melts in every direction
00:15:41I bet you can't wait to get home
00:15:43the problem is you got to use it hey Nate how's it going I feel like it's been a while yeah it has hasn't it we cannot decide
00:15:50Nate what a surprise yeah yeah it is a surprise isn't it you're having a dinner party with all our friends as if nothing even happened
00:16:06are you okay yeah I'm really good thanks for asking I'm getting along just swell really glad that you're making good use of our time apart the space that you wanted so bad is treating you well and that hey it's just shits and giggles here at my expense isn't it
00:16:22let's not like that let's just go upstairs and talk holy shit is that the new 65 inch 4k HD TV with crystal clear pixelation the one that I wanted to get instead of redoing the bathroom okay the rockin ribs are ready to be tasted
00:16:37who wants some more pinot
00:16:54oh hey how's it going? I'm Nick, good to meet you
00:16:59what's your name?śmyが…
00:17:04My name is Nate Brown.
00:17:06Nate Brown.
00:17:07It's on the mail that comes here.
00:17:09It's on the cable bill.
00:17:11Nate, can we please just talk about this?
00:17:12You know what?
00:17:13It's really not the fact that you're screwing my wife.
00:17:15That bothers me, because honestly, that I could get over.
00:17:18But Susan, if you're gonna let this guy wear my kiss to the cook apron,
00:17:22use my dripless basting brush, and cook my 44-inch cobble grill,
00:17:25then, then...
00:17:26I'm sorry, but you're nothing but a filthy whore.
00:17:29I'm just having a really hard time adjusting to everything right now.
00:17:36Hard?
00:17:37How?
00:17:38Well, I just feel like my whole life has turned upside down, right?
00:17:44And I don't know where to start, you know?
00:17:48I'm also dealing with some pretty big issues at the moment,
00:17:52like not being allowed back into my own house that I bought and paid for.
00:17:55But then there's also, like, the little things that bother me even more than being homeless.
00:17:59Like, I passed our Thai food place the other night,
00:18:02and we loved Thai food.
00:18:04It was our favorite.
00:18:05And every time we'd go, I would get the chicken skewers,
00:18:08and she would get the garlic beef, and then we'd share.
00:18:10And it's like...
00:18:13What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
00:18:16I mean, I can't get both.
00:18:18Hey.
00:18:21It's just gonna take some time.
00:18:24How long have you been coming here?
00:18:26Fifteen years?
00:18:36I would have gone to Paris.
00:18:38No.
00:18:40You should have remodeled.
00:18:42No.
00:18:43Nate?
00:18:47Nate Brown.
00:18:49It's Katie.
00:18:52Katie Franco.
00:18:55Used to be Hamilton.
00:18:57Oh, Katie.
00:18:58Katie.
00:18:59Hi.
00:19:00What the hell happened to you?
00:19:03I'll take that as a compliment.
00:19:05And you look...
00:19:07like you always did.
00:19:10Really?
00:19:11Because half of me is divorcing the other half.
00:19:13Aw.
00:19:15You too?
00:19:16Mm-hmm.
00:19:19So, what are you up to now?
00:19:22Are you still helping the betrothed march to their emotional death?
00:19:25God, no.
00:19:26Really?
00:19:27That was your life.
00:19:28You lived for it.
00:19:29No.
00:19:30I had what could be innocently described as a complete fucking meltdown
00:19:36where I lost my cool on a customer to the point where they called off the engagement.
00:19:40Probably good you quit.
00:19:42Are you kidding?
00:19:43It was like the best day of my life.
00:19:45I suddenly felt empowered and inspired and it allowed me to shed the past and take hold
00:19:51of my own life.
00:19:53I thought, from that moment on, of my breakup as my wake-up.
00:20:02As the moment in my life when I said, I am my own person.
00:20:06I'm not just half of Katie and Chuck.
00:20:08I'm Katie Franco.
00:20:10And the fun of the single thing is starting over.
00:20:12Don't commiserate.
00:20:13Celebrate.
00:20:14What is there to celebrate?
00:20:16You.
00:20:17Your newfound freedom.
00:20:18Your independence.
00:20:19The new life you're about to embark on.
00:20:21Celebrate being single.
00:20:23My marriage was everything to me.
00:20:28Operative word was.
00:20:30You gotta start living in the now.
00:20:32Fuck the past.
00:20:33Fuck the past?
00:20:34Seize your future.
00:20:35Carpe diem.
00:20:36Listen.
00:20:37You guys planned a wedding, right?
00:20:40That was just one big party.
00:20:42Why don't you throw another one?
00:20:44I don't know.
00:20:45I guess I could try.
00:20:46I just don't know if I could pull it off.
00:20:48Seems like a lot to celebrate just moi.
00:20:51Who else would you rather celebrate?
00:20:58Well, listen.
00:20:59Call me if you need me.
00:21:01I'm back to being an accountant.
00:21:03Taxes after a divorce can be a bit tricky.
00:21:05I feel so.
00:21:15We just heard in thatает story there,
00:21:15There are a lot of people who seem to have it...
00:21:18...disrust of theav come and us a him to a them attitude.
00:21:23Why do you think that is it?
00:21:25I don't know, but as I, well, the only thing we can do is to go out and dress good and let me know what we're going to do.
00:21:34As I look over...
00:21:36You know, it's just so out of character.
00:21:38Honestly surprised he came up with it himself.
00:21:41Really? You think?
00:21:43If that was my ex-husband, I would sabotage the party and make a complete ass out of him in front of all of his loser friends.
00:21:54Hypothetically speaking, you know.
00:21:55Jan loves her little hypothecary.
00:21:59You know, I just, touring a party is hard.
00:22:02It's tough.
00:22:02It's not just buying a six-pack and serving some onion dip.
00:22:07It's a lot more, you know.
00:22:09I always planned who was coming and what we would serve and where they would sit, you know.
00:22:16I always made him feel like he was involved.
00:22:18Yeah, he always had those amazing syrupy sweet and spicy ribs.
00:22:22Seriously? It was seriously not therapy.
00:22:24Oh, misspoke.
00:22:26And if I hadn't added white pepper to the rub, it would have been bland.
00:22:33And if I didn't constantly baste the ribs, it would have burned.
00:22:37And if I didn't serve her low, we would have served chardonnay, so that would not have gone.
00:22:44Can't do that.
00:22:46After the term alimony, permanent alimony.
00:22:51Her pension contribution entitlement, her car insurance, her health care coverage.
00:23:02I see 17% of my salary.
00:23:07One, seven.
00:23:12No wonder I feel 83% like shit.
00:23:18The irony?
00:23:19Before our first date, I dreamed of fucking her.
00:23:29And now she's fucking me.
00:23:32Right up the ass.
00:23:33Okay.
00:23:41Anyone else have anything they'd like to add?
00:23:46I have something.
00:23:47I was actually trying to think about this divorce thing in a whole new way.
00:23:58So instead of feeling like shit about it, I decided, why not have a party?
00:24:02Um, I'm sorry, why not have a what?
00:24:09A divorce party.
00:24:12Nate?
00:24:14I think that might be misdirecting some of the pain that you were feeling.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:23Why would you want to do that?
00:24:25I mean, you can think about it any way you want.
00:24:28But you'd still be broadcasting your failure to the world.
00:24:31We come in here to share our lives with each other.
00:24:36But we keep it in this room.
00:24:38You want to share your misery with the world?
00:24:41Fine.
00:24:42But for me, I'd rather be safe in here than deal with what's going on out there.
00:24:56I need to understand how I, a guy that I think is pretty normal,
00:25:01non-offensive, only rarely loses his temper in public,
00:25:04only has one guest attending his party.
00:25:06What party?
00:25:07The divorce party.
00:25:10The one that you RSVP'd to?
00:25:13Oh, yeah.
00:25:14Here it is.
00:25:16Well, first of all,
00:25:18I RSVP yes to every invite.
00:25:20It doesn't mean I'm going.
00:25:21It means that you think I'm going.
00:25:23So for the next week, if I see you at spin class,
00:25:25you don't think I'm lame for saying no.
00:25:28Then, about an hour before the party starts,
00:25:31I send you an email with something along the lines of,
00:25:34Oh my God, I'm so sorry I can't make it.
00:25:37But do a shot for me.
00:25:38Love you, Katie.
00:25:38So you weren't coming either?
00:25:42No, of course not.
00:25:45Okay.
00:25:46Listen, Nate, I don't know what to tell you.
00:25:48You decided to throw a party,
00:25:49and now you're realizing that without your marriage,
00:25:51no one feels obligated to show up just for you.
00:25:54Why not?
00:25:56Because you used to be half of something,
00:25:58and now you're all of nothing.
00:26:01Do you think that's kind of your fault?
00:26:02Oh, my fault?
00:26:03Yeah.
00:26:04I mean, you gave me the whole
00:26:05don't commiserate, celebrate speech.
00:26:06Nate, please, look at your invite.
00:26:10Chips and dip at the Savannah Inn Express
00:26:12isn't a party, it's pathetic.
00:26:15I got the double deluxe sweep.
00:26:17Nate, if you want to have a successful divorce party,
00:26:19you've got to treat this as if...
00:26:20As if what?
00:26:21As if it was as important as your wedding.
00:26:25Okay, look, if I had 30 grand to spend,
00:26:27I'd throw something cool,
00:26:28but I don't have that kind of money.
00:26:29Are you telling me your new life
00:26:30is only worth a bag of tortilla chips
00:26:32and a jar of salsa?
00:26:33Because that's what I'm hearing.
00:26:35Okay, think about it.
00:26:36If you were getting married somehow,
00:26:39you and your over-eager bride
00:26:41would find the money
00:26:42to flaunt your new life together, right?
00:26:48Why don't you throw it for me?
00:26:51What?
00:26:52I mean, you love doing that.
00:26:53You lived for it.
00:26:55No.
00:26:57What I lived for was a feeling, you know?
00:26:59The rush of making a memory
00:27:03that could maybe carry someone through a lifetime.
00:27:06Like,
00:27:07I was creating a piece of art
00:27:10and I was the artist.
00:27:18But that was the past.
00:27:20Your specialty was sending people off
00:27:22into the world
00:27:22with the memory
00:27:23of the best day of their lives.
00:27:26Help me have a new best day of my life.
00:27:29Make me a work of art.
00:27:32Please?
00:27:32Okay.
00:27:42If you can find the money
00:27:43to pay my full fee
00:27:44and allow me to plan something
00:27:46with the bells and whistles
00:27:47that keeps my former reputation intact,
00:27:50then I'll do it.
00:27:51Okay.
00:27:56Okay.
00:27:56Okay.
00:27:56Okay.
00:28:21Come on, baby.
00:28:49Come on, baby.
00:28:49Oh, Jesus Christ already.
00:28:58Nice.
00:28:59What the hell are you doing here?
00:29:01Oh, my God.
00:29:02I thought you'd be at work.
00:29:04There must be some reason,
00:29:05some urgent need
00:29:06that absolutely could not wait.
00:29:08Well, I need my tennis shoes.
00:29:10Your tennis shoes.
00:29:11Yeah.
00:29:11I looked in the closet
00:29:12on the shoe rack
00:29:13and I did.
00:29:13Yeah, dude.
00:29:14Yeah.
00:29:15Right behind my ab roller.
00:29:18Yeah.
00:29:18Little guy, huh?
00:29:24He's, uh...
00:29:24Size, uh...
00:29:28Eight and a half, right?
00:29:32Uh, not nine and a half.
00:29:35Yeah.
00:29:39Uh, okay.
00:29:40There I was,
00:29:42standing in front of my soon-to-be ex
00:29:44and her buck-naked boyfriend.
00:29:45And it was clear
00:29:46that the ring meant absolutely nothing to her.
00:29:50It was like she was void
00:29:51of that gush of emotion
00:29:52that she had when I proposed.
00:29:55I spent weeks,
00:29:57months,
00:29:58even,
00:29:58researching the stupid four C's.
00:30:00cut colored clarity
00:30:02and carrot.
00:30:04I organized a flash mob
00:30:05for the perfect proposal.
00:30:08I even hired dancers
00:30:09to present the ring.
00:30:12The fucking absurdity
00:30:14of this invented tradition
00:30:15where men
00:30:15have to bust their ass
00:30:17and spend three months' salary
00:30:20just to express
00:30:21their undying devotion?
00:30:22When the hell did that start?
00:30:27When men were stupid enough
00:30:28to fall for it.
00:30:31I don't know.
00:30:31Maybe I should just give it back.
00:30:33Well,
00:30:34the courts look at
00:30:35an engagement ring
00:30:36as a promise
00:30:37for marriage
00:30:37and if the bride fulfills
00:30:39that promise
00:30:39and your ex certainly did,
00:30:41it's supposedly hers.
00:30:43Free and clear.
00:30:44You think I should return it?
00:30:46Hell no.
00:30:47It's a bullshit law.
00:30:48Hot that ring
00:30:48and you get as much money
00:30:50for it as you can.
00:30:52Fucker.
00:30:58This is the bridal Bible.
00:31:00All my girls used to get one.
00:31:02It's the how-to
00:31:03for the I do.
00:31:05Even if we're celebrating
00:31:06the death of your marriage.
00:31:09Since you've been lost
00:31:11in the delusional
00:31:11fair tale of marriage,
00:31:13how about something
00:31:14truly romantic?
00:31:16Maybe even a mass party
00:31:17where we reveal
00:31:18the new nate ground.
00:31:20What do you think?
00:31:22I don't know.
00:31:30How about this?
00:31:32You've got a sweeping view
00:31:33of the water.
00:31:34What's not to love?
00:31:35And we could even do maybe
00:31:37like a little spiritual
00:31:38cleansing in the river.
00:31:39Hmm?
00:31:39I don't know.
00:31:50I thought this could be
00:31:51the perfect place
00:31:52to be loud and proud
00:31:54about your new life.
00:31:56What do you think?
00:31:59Maybe.
00:32:03What about something
00:32:05exotic like Indian food?
00:32:06We don't like Indian.
00:32:09What do you mean we?
00:32:11I mean me.
00:32:15I was bitching.
00:32:17Yeah, and if I serve that,
00:32:18everyone's gonna think
00:32:19I'm a huge bitch.
00:32:20Hmm.
00:32:21No, baby, it's, um,
00:32:22it's, uh, it's kish.
00:32:25It's cringeworthy.
00:32:26I don't want people
00:32:28to think that I have
00:32:28all of these pent-up emotions.
00:32:30It's a bitter pill
00:32:31that I'm forcing them
00:32:32to swallow.
00:32:33This looks like
00:32:34a Halloween cake.
00:32:35Yeah.
00:32:35Besides, no one even likes
00:32:36white icing, do they?
00:32:38I mean, it's just a cake.
00:32:43I set the seating at 100.
00:32:45We can always adjust up
00:32:46if we need to.
00:32:48We're down for that matter.
00:32:49I don't understand
00:32:51why we're working
00:32:51on a seating chart
00:32:52when I don't have
00:32:52any guests yet.
00:32:53That's exactly my point.
00:32:55And it's valid,
00:32:56but I don't have
00:32:57anyone to invite.
00:32:59All of my so-called
00:33:00friends were just
00:33:01bodies that would come
00:33:02over two by two
00:33:03for bland wine
00:33:04and safe conversation.
00:33:05Trust me, I remember that.
00:33:06You're a revolving list
00:33:07of couple friend guests.
00:33:10Listen, it doesn't matter
00:33:10because I'm pretty sure
00:33:11those people are gonna
00:33:12go to Susan's party anyways.
00:33:13Of course she's
00:33:17having a party.
00:33:17She lives for those things.
00:33:20Exactly.
00:33:21So why don't you
00:33:22let her live her life
00:33:24while you go
00:33:25to find yours?
00:33:27Go find some people
00:33:28you actually want
00:33:29to be around.
00:33:3139 trees.
00:33:3339.
00:33:33It's gotta have greenery.
00:33:39Hey, you guys.
00:33:40Hey, man.
00:33:42Just wanted to see
00:33:43what you guys
00:33:43were up to this weekend.
00:33:44See if you wanted to
00:33:45down some brewskis
00:33:47or tea some tail
00:33:48or something.
00:33:50I'm sorry.
00:33:52Tea some tail?
00:33:53Yeah, you know,
00:33:54go out and just...
00:33:56Everything okay?
00:33:58Yeah, yeah.
00:33:59Everything's fine.
00:34:00I'm fine.
00:34:01Well, better than fine.
00:34:02You don't have to lie.
00:34:04Not...
00:34:05Lie about what?
00:34:07A guy's wife
00:34:08who's in my fantasy league
00:34:09who also takes yoga
00:34:09with Jen,
00:34:10who apparently attends
00:34:11your dinner parties,
00:34:12told us that Susan
00:34:12kicked you out.
00:34:14Why weren't we invited
00:34:15to those dinner parties?
00:34:17We're just...
00:34:18We're working through
00:34:19some issues.
00:34:20She's divorcing you.
00:34:21That is one of the issues.
00:34:23Look, those dinner parties
00:34:24were boring.
00:34:24I was bored.
00:34:25You guys would have been boring.
00:34:26All right, look.
00:34:27We see through
00:34:28your little charade here.
00:34:30Clearly, everything
00:34:31is in hunky-dory
00:34:31and brown manner,
00:34:32and now that there's
00:34:33no Susan,
00:34:34I'd say you're a little...
00:34:35desperate to hang out with us.
00:34:38Desperate?
00:34:39I'm not desperate.
00:34:43I don't know.
00:34:43What do you think?
00:34:44I knew we'd do it.
00:34:45We're going to that thing
00:34:46this weekend.
00:34:48Okay, thank you.
00:34:50All right.
00:34:53No.
00:34:53Here's the deal, Dave.
00:34:54No.
00:34:54Not in this condition.
00:34:56What condition?
00:34:57You're like a caged man
00:34:59in the zoo of life,
00:35:00a sad little panda cub
00:35:02that's been protected
00:35:02behind bars,
00:35:03suckling milk
00:35:04from your mother's tits,
00:35:05and now you don't have
00:35:07a mommy anymore.
00:35:08Trust us.
00:35:09This is for your own safety.
00:35:10If we put you into the wild,
00:35:11you'd be killed.
00:35:12I can survive in the wild,
00:35:14okay?
00:35:15I can be a tiger.
00:35:18I can kill.
00:35:18Just be cool, right?
00:35:42Bingo.
00:35:42Bingo.
00:35:42It's so good to be out,
00:36:00you know,
00:36:00on my own,
00:36:02solo,
00:36:03kicking it.
00:36:03Oh, thank you.
00:36:04Not having to worry about
00:36:06what time I get home tonight
00:36:06so I can make some stupid
00:36:08brunch plans in the morning.
00:36:09Do you know what that's like?
00:36:10I mean, dude,
00:36:11I spent
00:36:11so much time
00:36:14worrying about
00:36:15Susan this
00:36:16and Susan that
00:36:17and trying to keep her happy
00:36:18for her to turn around
00:36:19one day
00:36:20and tell me that she's
00:36:20unhappy.
00:36:23Like, what the fuck
00:36:23is up with that?
00:36:25Oh, baby!
00:36:27Yeah, baby!
00:36:29It's okay.
00:36:30At least I'm not one of those guys
00:36:31that has to talk about
00:36:31all the time, you know?
00:36:32All right, baby.
00:36:33Your turn to drink.
00:36:35Let's go, okay?
00:36:36Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug,
00:36:39chug, chug, chug, chug,
00:36:41chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
00:36:44Chud!
00:36:47Got you.
00:36:52Chad.
00:36:56Badass rad chud.
00:37:00What's up, motherfucker?
00:37:01Hey, dude, all kidding aside, you're a really awesome guy, man.
00:37:14Yeah, yeah.
00:37:15Cool, man.
00:37:16All right.
00:37:18I love you, buddy.
00:37:21Hey, we should hang out sometime.
00:37:23What do you put in your hair, too?
00:37:25How do you get it to...
00:37:27What do you mean, though?
00:37:29Hang out.
00:37:29Well, I don't mean that in a gay way.
00:37:31Like, I'm not trying to pick you up or take you like a homo bar or something.
00:37:35All right, so if you were, you know, trying to pick me up, would that be a bad thing?
00:37:41No, that's what I'm saying.
00:37:45You're a really good-looking guy, but I'm not gay, you know?
00:37:50I feel bad for the gays, though.
00:37:52Adopting children and marriage equality and, like...
00:37:56Oh, fuck marriage, man.
00:38:01It's bad enough being married to the opposite sex.
00:38:03Like, why the fuck would you want to be married to the same sex?
00:38:07You know what I mean?
00:38:12Sorry.
00:38:12Hey.
00:38:25Hey, guys.
00:38:26Do you guys want a drink?
00:38:27Fuck no, I don't want a drink.
00:38:29Why would you hate on Chad?
00:38:31Yeah, but what are you thinking?
00:38:32What do you mean?
00:38:35Oh, dude, come on.
00:38:36We're cool.
00:38:37Hey, Chad!
00:38:38Shh, Chad, do you want a drink?
00:38:42Watch, watch.
00:38:43I got this.
00:38:43Yeah, yeah, I got this.
00:38:44Listen, I don't know where the hell you think you are,
00:38:47but I think I speak for everyone here when I tell you that it's time for you to go home.
00:38:52Nice, nice, nice.
00:38:53I think you're in serious need of inspiration.
00:39:04I think you need a date.
00:39:06A date?
00:39:07Yes.
00:39:08Not a girlfriend, not a wife, not someone to help you plan everything.
00:39:12Just someone who might actually enjoy your company during your divorce party.
00:39:16A date.
00:39:17A date.
00:39:21At least I'll have one person coming.
00:39:23Exactly.
00:39:24Maybe a little momentum will help figure everything else out.
00:39:28Where do you want me to find somebody?
00:39:30I don't know if you know, but I'm not the best at socializing.
00:39:32It's strange, really.
00:39:58I mean, if the flood hadn't delayed my flight, I wouldn't have been bored sitting there on
00:40:02my laptop looking at dating sites.
00:40:05I mean, what are the chances?
00:40:07Tell me more about yourself.
00:40:08Well, I've always wanted to go to Ireland.
00:40:11It just looks so pristine online, which isn't to say that I feel the need to go jet-setting
00:40:16across the world all the time or anything like that.
00:40:18I have this really great couch at home.
00:40:22It's white, shabby chic, so comfortable for watching TV.
00:40:27But it's just too big.
00:40:29Too big?
00:40:30Yeah, I mean, whether it's on the couch or the beach or even on the moon, it's just
00:40:35not the same unless someone's there by your side watching remodeling shows with you.
00:40:41Do you like your job?
00:40:42It's a job.
00:40:43That's all it is, really.
00:40:44I know I shouldn't feel that way about my career, but I don't care.
00:40:49I told them I don't want to go into management because I need time to live, to nurture the
00:40:55relationships in my life, to find someone.
00:41:05I want to bury it at the party.
00:41:07You want to get some flowers and a tombstone for it also?
00:41:11I'm serious, Nick.
00:41:14I want to do this.
00:41:15I need to do this.
00:41:17I think it's going to be really therapeutic, you know?
00:41:20It'll help me just get rid of the ring for good.
00:41:22One final symbolic gesture.
00:41:25Say so, babe.
00:41:27Makes sense, right?
00:41:28Yeah.
00:41:28Makes sense to you.
00:41:30Makes sense to me.
00:41:31Great.
00:41:42You've got to be kidding me.
00:41:44What are you doing?
00:41:48You're living the best day of my life.
00:41:50Nate, the whole idea is to make your divorce party your new best day.
00:41:54I don't want a new best day.
00:41:56I just want to lie here until they find my corpse fused to the comforter.
00:41:58I hate to tell you, but your bridal Bible planning guide sucks.
00:42:13Finding a date was meant to help me get over Susan.
00:42:16But every girl felt like some kind of virgin Susan, except they weren't Susan.
00:42:19Now I can't stop thinking about it.
00:42:20Susan?
00:42:22Jesus Christ!
00:42:23Enough with your whole misery routine.
00:42:26It's tiring.
00:42:27Then why was everyone so much like her?
00:42:29Because of this.
00:42:30How did you get that?
00:42:35I hacked into your account.
00:42:36How do you know my password?
00:42:38It's Susan and the year you were married.
00:42:40You said, willing to adjust your life goals for the right person.
00:42:46You prefer someone adverse to breaking up after a year and are interested in exploring
00:42:51the interests and hobbies of your next partner.
00:42:53So what?
00:42:55What's wrong with that?
00:42:56If someone really likes cycling, there's no problem with me taking time out of my day
00:42:59to do that with them.
00:43:00If they want to go on a cruise ship to Mexico, then sure, why not?
00:43:03Something to do.
00:43:04Do you even like cycling or cruising?
00:43:07That's not the point.
00:43:08It shows that I'm willing to meet them in the middle.
00:43:11Oh.
00:43:13Is that where you want to live your life?
00:43:15In the middle?
00:43:17It's called compromise.
00:43:18No, it's called sacrifice.
00:43:20Giving up who you are to be someone you're not.
00:43:22Well, sometimes that's what it takes.
00:43:25That's why Susan and I worked so well for all those years.
00:43:31How's it working for you now?
00:43:37Okay, throw it in.
00:43:44I don't want to.
00:43:46Do it.
00:43:48No.
00:43:51Nate?
00:43:58Listen, I know how this feels.
00:44:00No, you don't.
00:44:01I'm not as strong as you think I am.
00:44:15I thought you got rid of every picture of you and Chuck.
00:44:22Believe me, I know this is hard.
00:44:25I know it better than anyone else.
00:44:27Because you're not just letting go of the past, but you have to let go of the future, too.
00:44:34The future?
00:44:36The memories you've dreamed of that you'll never share.
00:44:40And the kids you won't know.
00:44:41And the Christmases you won't celebrate.
00:44:44And growing all together.
00:44:47And you have to say goodbye to all of it.
00:44:49Even if you know it was probably your fault.
00:44:56You don't blame Chuck?
00:44:57You know when people say it's not you, it's me, and they're completely lying?
00:45:02Well, it actually was me.
00:45:03In trying to make our relationship perfect, I completely suffocated him.
00:45:08Come on, Nate.
00:45:20You can do this.
00:45:24Start over.
00:45:38And your wedding picture.
00:45:52And your honeymoon picture.
00:45:54And the picture you keep in your wallet, behind your license, is next to the spare key that opens the house that used to be yours.
00:46:12How do you...
00:46:13You're like an addict.
00:46:15I have to search everything.
00:46:16Okay, now light it.
00:46:28Okay.
00:46:46You're going to sleep right now.
00:47:05I don't want to be yet.
00:47:08You're done.
00:47:09I...
00:47:09I...
00:47:10I...
00:47:11I...
00:47:11I...
00:47:11I...
00:47:11I...
00:47:12I...
00:47:12I...
00:47:12I...
00:47:12I...
00:47:13I...
00:47:13I...
00:47:13I...
00:47:13I...
00:47:13I...
00:47:14I...
00:47:14I...
00:47:16I...
00:47:16As the memories of my past burned away, I couldn't help but wonder why they had been
00:47:33so damn important to me.
00:47:37She was right all along.
00:47:40Carpe diem, the future holds the memories of tomorrow, and I was ready to experience every
00:47:48single one.
00:47:53Okay, so my whole plan for tonight is that you're no longer naped.
00:48:00Who am I?
00:48:01You're going to choose an alter ego and role play.
00:48:04Trust me, this works.
00:48:05I used it whenever my brides were really nervous about their wedding.
00:48:09It breaks you out of that shell and gives you that confidence that frankly you have none
00:48:13of and desperately need.
00:48:15So, who do you think I should be?
00:48:17Whoever you want to be, it doesn't matter.
00:48:20But no matter who you choose to be, you have to, and I mean have to, follow my two rules.
00:48:24Okay.
00:48:25You cannot break character, and you cannot talk about Susan.
00:48:28Susan who?
00:48:29How are we getting into this thing?
00:48:34Didn't I tell you?
00:48:35I RSVP to everything.
00:48:42Fromage.
00:48:47Interesting.
00:48:51What do you think?
00:48:54It's quite clever.
00:48:55I took several courses at the Echo Depots.
00:48:59Modernism, postmodernism, the avant-garde.
00:49:01How presume.
00:49:02Well, you should know the tales of the life I've lived.
00:49:07Excuse me.
00:49:08Where in France are you from?
00:49:09We're going to Cannes next year.
00:49:10Really?
00:49:11I thought we had settled on Copenhagen.
00:49:12I am from Normandy.
00:49:13Normandy?
00:49:14Normandy?
00:49:15Oui.
00:49:16Yes.
00:49:17Have you had this painting here?
00:49:19No, I haven't.
00:49:20You see, on the surface, Adam and Eve in a disrupted Eden, it's a familiar topic, but if you look at it, there is no depth, no soul, no character.
00:49:35It is nothing more than shock art.
00:49:36Wow.
00:49:37Very insightful.
00:49:38What do you think of this painting?
00:49:42This one.
00:49:43Oh, this…
00:49:44This is…
00:49:45I'm…
00:49:46Oh, this, this is…
00:49:47I'm…
00:49:48Oh, this…
00:49:49Character, it is nothing more than Chocart.
00:49:53Wow.
00:49:55Very insightful.
00:49:58What do you think of this painting?
00:50:01This one, right there.
00:50:06Oh, this...
00:50:09This is...
00:50:11I'm...
00:50:13What?
00:50:14I'm speechless.
00:50:17It's brilliant.
00:50:20Well, you should tell the artist.
00:50:22He's right behind you.
00:50:26Excuse me.
00:50:27This lovely Frenchman was just admiring the depth of your work.
00:50:32Yes, your painting...
00:50:33Do I know you from somewhere?
00:50:37No, no, I don't think we've ever met.
00:50:42It is you.
00:50:44You're the guy from the party.
00:50:46No.
00:50:47What are you putting on some kind of accent?
00:50:51No, you're mistaken.
00:50:53My name is Pierre...
00:50:55Pierre Lemieux.
00:50:57No, I remember your drunken ass.
00:50:59I remember the whole night.
00:51:00So what?
00:51:01You, uh...
00:51:03You made fun of me in your native tongue, and then you thought,
00:51:06Hey, I'm gonna track this guy down, put on some phony-ass French accent, and want to fuck with me again?
00:51:12Because I remember you droning on and on and on about your ex-wife, right?
00:51:17Stacy.
00:51:19How Stacy broke up with you, how Stacy won't return your calls, and how you're worried that Stacy's gonna find some other cock...
00:51:24And she's gonna be back?
00:51:25It's Susan!
00:51:27Okay?
00:51:29Her name is Susan.
00:51:31Susan.
00:51:32Sarah, Steve, who cares?
00:51:35And then you mock me for being gay.
00:51:38What the fuck is that?
00:51:40Maybe we should go.
00:51:41You give me shit about my work now, too?
00:51:43Is that it?
00:51:44No. No.
00:51:47You're right about me.
00:51:48Yeah.
00:51:49I am stuck in my head about my relationship and the whole fucking thing, and the other night, I was a mess.
00:51:54I barely even remember what happened, but screw all that.
00:51:57Tonight's about you.
00:51:59It's about appreciating your work.
00:52:02It's impressive.
00:52:05I really like this, man.
00:52:06The texture, the weight of it, the simplicity.
00:52:15It's moving.
00:52:19You should be really proud.
00:52:22I mean, you're an incredible artist.
00:52:25I'm sorry for othering you.
00:52:29Come on.
00:52:36Okay, what do you think?
00:52:40Does it look like I'm going to a funeral?
00:52:43Should I add, like, a pop of color?
00:52:46Something more casual?
00:52:48Nick, I need your help, okay?
00:52:50Is this stunning or stupid?
00:52:52I still have time to take it back.
00:52:54It's black, right?
00:52:56So, can I go along with the whole thing?
00:52:59Okay, well, even if that's the case, could you just indulge me, please?
00:53:03Is this costume or couture?
00:53:07Uh, isn't bad luck for me to see you in the dress?
00:53:11Nick, that's a wedding!
00:53:13This whole thing sort of feels like a wedding.
00:53:15What?
00:53:17Babe, you're having a ring ceremony, you know, a cake.
00:53:19You're trying on a dress.
00:53:20I mean, next thing I know, you're going to be asking me to take you on some post-divorce honeymoon.
00:53:23You know?
00:53:26Well, you know what?
00:53:28After all of this, it would be nice to have a little getaway.
00:53:30I was kind of surprised when you said that you wanted me to meet for a drink.
00:53:47Yeah, well, it's because I have to do something that I really hate.
00:53:52What do you mean?
00:53:53I gotta give someone else credit.
00:53:57The other night when you walked into my show, you really helped.
00:54:03Really?
00:54:04Yeah.
00:54:06I thought I ruined everything.
00:54:08No, no, no, no, not at all.
00:54:10You, um, you broke me out of my misery.
00:54:14You know, so here I was bitter because I wasn't in a relationship.
00:54:19You know?
00:54:21And then you spot my work.
00:54:23And it speaks to you.
00:54:25Truly speaks to you.
00:54:27When you shared that passion, it became infectious.
00:54:32I remember what I said.
00:54:34Yeah, well, because of that, I, uh, I sold my first painting.
00:54:39You did?
00:54:41Yeah.
00:54:42My first.
00:54:43Oh, good for you.
00:54:44Thanks.
00:54:46I know, it just made me think, man, that, um, who cares if my ex broke up with me, right?
00:54:52It was the first time in, um, in a long time, I, um, felt like something more than his boyfriend.
00:55:01Sorry, sorry we're late.
00:55:04Jake didn't know his ass from his hand.
00:55:05Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:55:06I thought we told you to crash him.
00:55:07What are you doing here?
00:55:08What'd you overhear us about?
00:55:09No, no, relax, relax.
00:55:10I invited you.
00:55:11You did?
00:55:12Yeah.
00:55:13He's getting first round.
00:55:14Right, Nate?
00:55:18Yeah!
00:55:21We play our cards right.
00:55:23We close the bar down.
00:55:26Damn straight.
00:55:28I'm gonna let my sorrows drown.
00:55:31Anybody need to call home to get a hall pass?
00:55:39Uh, nope.
00:55:41I'm newly single, so, uh, nobody's watching my ass.
00:55:46Yeah!
00:55:48Well, my wife loves when I go out so she can work on her novel.
00:55:53Really? You don't have to go home and grovel?
00:55:55Yeah!
00:55:57I haven't had this much fun since I don't know when.
00:56:01Keep hanging with us.
00:56:02You'll find your zen.
00:56:04Hey!
00:56:05I need one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.
00:56:08What about a Chardonnay from a Stellar Eve?
00:56:12I know before hanging with you guys, I was a pathetic dude.
00:56:16But, thanks to your help, I'm feeling renewed.
00:56:21Well, congratulations, and welcome to your new life.
00:56:25You should come help me get over my ex-wife.
00:56:29That sounds like a party with no remorse.
00:56:32Actually, I'm sending out invites to celebrate my divorce!
00:56:40Yeah!
00:56:41Yeah!
00:56:56Hello?
00:56:57Chapter 7 in the Bridal Bible.
00:56:59Squeezing sublimely into the wedding dress.
00:57:01We need you toned and tight.
00:57:03No one will ever call me.
00:57:09No one will ever need me.
00:57:15No one will ever love me at all.
00:57:22No one will ever deserve me.
00:57:27No one will ever leave me.
00:57:34No one will ever deserve me.
00:57:40No one will ever leave me.
00:57:52I'd like to register for the beer mug set, the ping pong table, and the 65 inch 4K Ultra HD TV with crystal clear pure pixelation.
00:58:04Oh, and if you could also throw in one of the mini fridges for the bedroom.
00:58:08I've kind of gotten used to it.
00:58:10Is this for a wedding?
00:58:12No.
00:58:14It's for a divorce.
00:58:15So, I have a challenge for you.
00:58:23A challenge for me?
00:58:24Like, fixing you hasn't been enough.
00:58:27You have to say yes or no before I hear any question.
00:58:31That seems a little unfair.
00:58:32Oh, it's completely unfair.
00:58:34The odds are totally in my favor.
00:58:37What's it gonna be?
00:58:39I'm too tired of this.
00:58:40Yes or no?
00:58:46Yes, fine.
00:58:48Okay.
00:58:50Now can you end my misery and tell me what horrible thing I just agreed to?
00:58:54A night on the town with me.
00:58:57Well, consider it a practice date before I find a real date.
00:59:01Assuming you can even find someone willing to hang out with you.
00:59:04I just did, didn't I?
00:59:05Look, I'm ready for something new.
00:59:16I mean, look at me.
00:59:18This is Susan's idea of what I should look like.
00:59:23For example, my hair.
00:59:25She made an appointment for me every fourth Saturday.
00:59:27And every fourth Saturday, I would go.
00:59:29I get it.
00:59:31You're a blank canvas.
00:59:32Exactly.
00:59:33Yeah.
00:59:34I need your help.
00:59:36Okay.
00:59:37I'll make some calls and put you in touch with the right people.
00:59:41Okay?
00:59:43Okay.
00:59:47I had no clue so many guys use low lights to offset the highlights so that their hair looks darker and thicker.
00:59:53I never even thought to do anything to my face.
00:59:56I didn't exfoliate.
00:59:57I didn't moisturize.
00:59:58I just showered, shaved, and maybe threw some chapstick on when my lips cracked.
01:00:04And when Susan and I shopped, we always bought clothes a little bigger so if I put on a few pounds they'd still fit.
01:00:28What the hell happened to you?
01:00:34Take that as a compliment.
01:00:39Did you think of a name for your signature cocktail yet?
01:00:51I was thinking the Tyrannosaurus X.
01:00:55The he-devil.
01:00:58Um...
01:01:00The obituary.
01:01:02You're such a cunning linguist.
01:01:05Yes.
01:01:06Yes.
01:01:07Yes.
01:01:10This is a classic classic for you.
01:01:12By the by-所以呢.
01:01:13There you go.
01:01:14From looking at Joseph Wether.
01:01:15Like, no, nothing.
01:01:16Ask possibilities there.
01:01:17Okay.
01:01:19Many people ask questions.
01:01:21So I can't get to know.
01:01:22If it they would be HDMI.
01:01:23They would have manos of love.
01:01:24And see for RJ.
01:01:25Near people.
01:01:26Here they wouldиковby.
01:01:27Yes.
01:01:28There you go.
01:01:29Sir pecking to the lava house.
01:01:30It's enfim.
01:01:32Hi.
01:01:33Oh, thanks the durch and DMV.
01:01:36Have I?
01:01:37Do my personality.
01:01:39You haven't been a part of a matter of thing
01:01:40One dance.
01:01:54As your primaries, Vangali, I'm telling you, this is taking it too far.
01:01:58I insist.
01:01:59I resist.
01:02:00I persist.
01:02:01Nathaniel.
01:02:02Katharina.
01:02:10So far, I'm only going to play, I'm telling you, this is taking it too far, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play.
01:02:40I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play, I'm only going to play
01:03:10Not bad for a first date.
01:03:24I think the support group of divorcees would be proud.
01:03:40I don't know what do you mean you don't know all right I don't know
01:04:01it's just so daring so you don't like it no no I love it so what is it don't take this the wrong way
01:04:24but I'm just I'm just surprised and shocked that something so smart sophisticated and unique
01:04:35actually came from you
01:04:54I'm sorry did I do something you guys are staring at me like I did something wrong
01:04:59I mean I know I know I skipped a few sessions but what what's going on here
01:05:05I don't know about the other guys but me personally come in here with new shoes
01:05:12hip hair like you're ready to conquer the world makes me feel a little uncomfortable
01:05:20wait are you serious I'm just supposed to come here when I feel down and struggling and feeling
01:05:28miserable maybe what are you guys saying we're thinking maybe you don't belong in this group
01:05:40anymore we think maybe you need to leave
01:05:42you did look pretty good though
01:06:12hi hi everyone um just wanted to say thank you so much for coming to my little dress rehearsal
01:06:32I want to make sure that this goes off without a hitch so without further ado Nick
01:06:37excuse me Nick can you hear the music please
01:06:42Nick
01:06:47oh you want it right now hi guys
01:06:53hey
01:06:56hi
01:07:00what are you doing here
01:07:02do you mind if we just talk privately
01:07:06if you have something to say you can just say it in front of everyone
01:07:09okay
01:07:14I'm also having a divorce party
01:07:18I uh
01:07:20I miss you guys and I just
01:07:22I just wanted to extend the invite
01:07:24I also really love to have you there
01:07:29if you can make it
01:07:30I mean that
01:07:34I'm just gonna leave these here
01:07:39I can't believe that just happened
01:07:49not to mention those weird clothes
01:07:52your clothes are weird
01:07:55no they're not
01:07:57yes they are
01:07:58you said I looked nice
01:08:00well
01:08:01I lied
01:08:03hey muffin
01:08:04these are great
01:08:07I really like the uh you can like you can feel the letters
01:08:11you know it's I got like the raised letters like little goose bumps on the paper
01:08:15did you still want to play the song or
01:08:17what is this
01:08:25um
01:08:42all right
01:08:42Did I miss something?
01:08:52Listen, I don't know.
01:08:54I...
01:08:54This started as a business arrangement.
01:08:58I signed on to plan your party and that was it.
01:09:02I mean, it didn't even cross my mind that I would...
01:09:05actually start to soften or...
01:09:08actually start to feel like I was missing who I used to be.
01:09:11But the closer I got to you,
01:09:13the more it reminded me of what Chuck and I used to be.
01:09:17And as much as it ended badly...
01:09:21that life was comforting and enticing.
01:09:25Of course you're still gonna have memories and feelings for who you used to be.
01:09:28But that's my problem, Nate.
01:09:31That life is addictive.
01:09:33It's all-consuming and I...
01:09:36If I'm not careful,
01:09:37I end up standing behind double-pane windows
01:09:40holding a bun cake and commenting on how I really hope to get to Europe this summer.
01:09:46I understand.
01:09:48I understand what you're saying, but...
01:09:50you can't just predetermine...
01:09:52where two people are gonna end up in a relationship.
01:09:57I mean, isn't it about the journey?
01:09:58And then there will be one night when you come back home and...
01:10:05you look at me and you say,
01:10:08I'm just not happy.
01:10:10And then where do we go?
01:10:14Good luck with the party.
01:10:18Good luck with the party.
01:10:20Good luck with the party.
01:10:22Good luck with the party.
01:10:26Well, I'm not going to sugarcoat bad news.
01:10:53Everybody loved your design for the concert hall.
01:10:56But you came in second.
01:10:59Something about it being too inventive, too creative, and simply the best, most original idea they ever saw.
01:11:08Too creative?
01:11:09What can I say?
01:11:12That's why I do many mals.
01:11:24Hi.
01:11:25Whoa, hey.
01:11:26What are you doing here?
01:11:30Oh, I told the guy at the front desk I was your wife, and he was so excited.
01:11:33He showed me the door and everything.
01:11:35Have you been working out?
01:11:36Just barge in here while I'm naked?
01:11:38I don't get what the big deal is.
01:11:39I've seen you naked a thousand times.
01:11:41Well, the big deal is that we're kind of working through some issues at the moment.
01:11:46I don't know if you've got the right to see my new body.
01:11:48Ouch.
01:11:49Ouch.
01:11:50You're right.
01:11:51And I have some things that I'd like to talk to you about, so...
01:11:59Can I buy you dinner?
01:12:01Why would I let you buy me dinner?
01:12:04Why would I let you buy me dinner?
01:12:06I could apologize.
01:12:19I could make excuses, but the truth is.
01:12:25I miss you.
01:12:26I miss you.
01:12:27I miss us.
01:12:28We had a language, we had a way of communicating that belongs to us.
01:12:48And I foolishly tried to recreate that with Nick.
01:12:52I foolishly tried to recreate that with Nick.
01:12:56We didn't get each other.
01:12:59I wasn't in sync with him like I am with you.
01:13:04I miss that.
01:13:09And I'm willing to bet that you miss it too.
01:13:14There's a lot I miss.
01:13:33So what do you think?
01:13:36I don't know. What do you think?
01:13:43Well, I think we were together for five years and it would be crazy not to give it another shot.
01:13:59Excuse me? I'm sorry to bother you. I was told I could find you here.
01:14:13I know this is going to sound really weird but I heard you help people with divorce parties.
01:14:31Who did you hear that from?
01:14:37The former member of our group?
01:14:41Yeah, we thought he was emotionally unstable at the time.
01:14:45But now it seems like a pretty good idea.
01:14:49I'm sorry. That was just a one-time thing.
01:14:55Oh. That's too bad. You said you're a real artist.
01:15:03Sorry to bother you.
01:15:07I don't want to stop by.
01:15:10I'm sorry.
01:15:12You have this.
01:15:13You have to go away.
01:15:14And now it's time to stop.
01:15:16It's time to stop.
01:15:17And now it's time to stop.
01:15:20You don't want to stop.
01:15:21You got to stop playing.
01:15:23Do you know what you want?
01:15:26You got to stop playing.
01:15:28You got to stop playing.
01:15:30We got to stop playing.
01:15:32You got to stop playing in the game.
01:15:34Hi.
01:15:50Shit.
01:15:54What?
01:15:56I was still trying to figure out what the hell I was going to say to you.
01:16:00Do you need me to give you another minute?
01:16:01Do you want me to close the door and come back out again?
01:16:04No, I'm fine.
01:16:11Moving out?
01:16:14What, doesn't Mattel down the street have better rates?
01:16:19No, I'm...
01:16:20I'm getting back together with Susan.
01:16:26I'm going home.
01:16:27That's it? You're not going to say anything else?
01:16:39There's nothing more to say, Nate.
01:16:45You know, I gotta say, this is one of the things I really missed.
01:16:51Well, I gotta say, I miss doing it for us.
01:16:53So, I was thinking, for the party, maybe I could invite some of my friends?
01:16:58Would they be, uh, new friends?
01:16:59Uh, Colin and Jake?
01:17:00You mean the Colin and Jake who brag about sleeping with co-eds?
01:17:04You know, it's probably not their kind of party.
01:17:05I'm not sure they'd be going to have fun.
01:17:06Yeah, we should have them over another time.
01:17:07Yeah, we should have them over another time.
01:17:08You know, it's probably not their kind of party.
01:17:09I'm not sure they'd be going to have fun.
01:17:10But you know what?
01:17:35It's up to you.
01:17:37Only do it if it's what you really want.
01:17:38Oh, I, uh, I am getting my hair done tomorrow and I made you an appointment.
01:17:53I asked where you'd been and I told them, traveling for work.
01:18:00Tell me it is not fucking true.
01:18:04Of course it's true.
01:18:05How can you tell?
01:18:06His shoulders are slumped, his head is sagging, and he's wearing that new cologne defeated
01:18:10by Lane Jackoff.
01:18:11What the hell are you guys talking about?
01:18:12Remember that guy's wife who's in my fantasy league who also takes yoga with Jan?
01:18:16Did I hear that she got invited to a barbecue you and Susan are throwing?
01:18:19Why weren't we invited to that barbecue?
01:18:21Okay, wait.
01:18:23Unbelievable.
01:18:24You got back together with her?
01:18:25So, there's no divorce party?
01:18:27I wanted to take you guys out to lunch and explain everything properly.
01:18:30Explain?
01:18:31What is there to explain?
01:18:33I'm trying to work things out with Susan at the moment.
01:18:36It's really complicated.
01:18:37Look man, divorce Susan.
01:18:40Stay with Susan.
01:18:41Honestly, we don't care.
01:18:43It's really not that complicated.
01:18:51Guys.
01:18:52Hey, I am so glad you called because I left some things off the list this morning.
01:19:05I have decided to make potato salad instead of coleslaw.
01:19:07So, can you please pick up a pound of red skin potatoes, a bunch of chives and some mayonnaise?
01:19:13Yeah, actually, you know what?
01:19:14That's perfect because I was thinking of inviting a friend of mine.
01:19:17Oh, you are?
01:19:18Yeah, Chad.
01:19:19I met him through Colin and Jake.
01:19:22You're going to love him.
01:19:23This barbecue isn't really the environment for guys who chase co-eds.
01:19:27No, trust me.
01:19:28He's the last person to be chasing co-eds around.
01:19:32Yeah, we could do eight.
01:19:34Of course.
01:19:35Is he bringing a wife or girlfriend?
01:19:38No, actually, he just broke up with his boyfriend.
01:19:40So, it'll just be seven.
01:19:42You know, seven's like just an odd number.
01:19:47And I don't want him to feel like a seventh wheel.
01:19:49Trust me.
01:19:50He's going to blend right in.
01:19:54Well, I don't want to tell you you can't invite him.
01:19:57So, is that what you really want to do?
01:20:00I really do.
01:20:02Okay?
01:20:04Bye.
01:20:05I know what you mean.
01:20:21Nate and I have been trying to decide if we should get pregnant or if we should take one last trip to Paris.
01:20:27Oh.
01:20:28Nate, how's work stuff going?
01:20:33You know, honestly, I've been thinking about leaving.
01:20:36Really?
01:20:37Yeah.
01:20:38I actually entered this competition to design the new concert hall and it sort of got me thinking about striking out on my own.
01:20:46Yeah, well, you know how risky it is to go out on your own.
01:20:50You know, I said to him, let's just make that a goal for the future when we don't have a mortgage to pay every month.
01:20:55And not to mention the distance.
01:20:57You know, it's like what happens if you get a job to do a building in some other city?
01:21:01Like Omaha.
01:21:02Oh, I hope not.
01:21:04I hate Omaha.
01:21:05Alright.
01:21:06Yeah.
01:21:07Well, if you never take a leap, then things never change.
01:21:09Yeah.
01:21:18You know, there's plenty of room for an in-ground pool back here.
01:21:21Yes.
01:21:22I'm always saying that to these two.
01:21:23That it could increase the property value 20%.
01:21:26Easy.
01:21:27It looks so nice, too.
01:21:28Okay.
01:21:35You know what?
01:21:36I don't think our guests are interested in playing some unintelligible drinking game so they can get hammered.
01:21:58I'm drinking water.
01:22:01I want to play.
01:22:03I think I'm enamored.
01:22:07Maybe it's time for a change of pace.
01:22:11So we don't spend the whole night treading in the same place?
01:22:16Exactly.
01:22:17It doesn't hurt to try something new.
01:22:20Unless you're scared to face yourself and what is true.
01:22:27Okay.
01:22:28Play your stupid game.
01:22:29Fine.
01:22:30Can I have some more wine?
01:22:35We can sit here and eat chips all night.
01:22:49Feels like we're trying to force something that shouldn't be forced.
01:22:54Feels that way, doesn't it?
01:22:55Um...
01:22:57I think I need to be on my own for a while.
01:23:02You take it from me, it's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:03Okay?
01:23:04It's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:06Okay?
01:23:08You take it from me, it's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:12Okay?
01:23:13You take it from me, it's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:20Okay?
01:23:21You take it from me, it's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:26It's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:27It's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:28Okay?
01:23:29It's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:30Okay?
01:23:31Okay?
01:23:33Okay.
01:23:34There's an ignore.
01:23:35It looks like a little�boss and it's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:38Holy shit.
01:23:39It's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:41It's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:43I think it's out of my mind.
01:23:46Well, it's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:48I think it's not gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:49Is it right?
01:23:50I'm gonna be as bad as you think.
01:23:51You're signing?
01:24:03Yeah.
01:24:05I need to.
01:24:07I mean, you believed in me, and I thank you for that,
01:24:10but I always wanted my own firm.
01:24:12I know it's gonna be tight,
01:24:13but I feel like now's the time to take a shot.
01:24:15Well, funny enough,
01:24:22you're already reaping the rewards.
01:24:25What do you mean?
01:24:26The city called.
01:24:27All that imagination and creativity
01:24:29that was way too much for the concert hall
01:24:31is perfect for the new skate park
01:24:33they just commissioned.
01:24:36Why don't you make it
01:24:38your very first official job
01:24:40for your new company?
01:24:42Are you serious?
01:24:45What?
01:24:49Hey, man.
01:24:51We just, uh, wanted to congratulate you.
01:24:54Yeah, that design kicked ass.
01:24:56Thanks, guys.
01:24:58Well, whenever you're free,
01:24:59I'm ready to go down some brewskis
01:25:01or tease some tail.
01:25:03Of course, you're both still invited to the party.
01:25:06We wouldn't miss it.
01:25:08Yeah, I want to meet Katie.
01:25:09Yeah, well, unfortunately,
01:25:11she's the only one who has an RSVP.
01:25:15who may be better.
01:25:15And it won't treat these balls
01:25:24to ground
01:25:28because this looks perfectly delicious.
01:25:29I'll just transfer them to my paper drawer, and I'm going to bring them over here, and you can serve these whole...
01:25:40I'm trying to cut them all.
01:25:43I need more than that bad boy I'm done.
01:25:47I need more than that bad boy I'm done.
01:25:50I need more than that.
01:25:53Just okay.
01:25:55Alright y'all, I've got a chocolate glaze and a strawberry.
01:26:11I'm going to tell you the story about how I recently met someone remarkable.
01:26:33That person was pretty invisible for a long time.
01:26:39You, you worry about nothing.
01:26:43That's what I find so crazy about you.
01:26:47There's no silver lining, no gray sky that could ever be blue.
01:26:53And with the help of someone special, this invisible person was finally able to emerge and find his voice.
01:27:03You don't trust the sun cause it's always setting down.
01:27:13Here you go.
01:27:15You ready for the first night of the rest of your life?
01:27:19It's a good ride.
01:27:21Well, let's get this party started.
01:27:23Okay?
01:27:24You guys don't have to wait.
01:27:26Okay?
01:27:27Yes, sir.
01:27:28Okay?
01:27:29Let's walk into this party.
01:27:52I thought you RSVP to everything.
01:27:59I guess I've changed.
01:28:05Shall we, Ms. Franco?
01:28:08Certainly, Mr. Brown.
01:28:22Thank you, Mr. Brown.
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