- 8 hours ago
A bumbling wedding party must battle the forces of hell when a bride becomes possessed by the Devil the night before her wedding HD ( Comedy, Horror )
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Holy matrimony, give it up for your bride and groom!
00:00:24After this shit, she's for sure my least favorite cousin.
00:00:27How many boyfriends did you steal from me in high school?
00:00:32Three.
00:00:33But stealing is a strong word for giving them half-assed blowjobs in the church parking deck.
00:00:40So we were just one blow-and-go-away from my baby sister marrying my ex instead.
00:00:49I'm sorry, Courtney. This must be really hard.
00:00:53I'm fine, Caitlin. You can go.
00:01:04Stop that.
00:01:05We're gonna slow it down for all the lovers out there.
00:01:08This one's for y'all.
00:01:10I don't think you're allowed to be this sad at a wedding.
00:01:27Well, this DJ has played Tub Thumping by Chumbawumba three times in 45 minutes, so how happy can any of us be?
00:01:33Sorry, I was talking to...
00:01:36Courtney. Courtney.
00:01:37Courtney.
00:01:38Right.
00:01:39I'm Dave.
00:01:40You don't have to sit here.
00:01:41Well, now you have my handkerchief.
00:01:42And you are never getting this back.
00:01:44I love a good never.
00:01:45What?
00:01:46I'm never getting that back.
00:01:47Ever.
00:01:48No loopholes.
00:01:49No questions.
00:01:50No questions.
00:01:51No questions.
00:01:52No questions.
00:01:53No questions.
00:01:54I'm Dave.
00:01:55You don't have to sit here.
00:01:56Well, now you have my handkerchief.
00:01:57And you are never getting this back.
00:01:58I love a good never.
00:01:59What?
00:02:00I'm never getting that back.
00:02:01Ever.
00:02:02No loopholes.
00:02:03No questions.
00:02:04No falling through or falling apart.
00:02:05It's comfortingly infinite.
00:02:08That's mine.
00:02:09Oh, is it?
00:02:10Oh, is it?
00:02:11No.
00:02:12No.
00:02:13No.
00:02:14No.
00:02:15No.
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00:02:59Katelyn Manuel Miranda.
00:03:16I've asked you repeatedly to give that nickname up.
00:03:19What?
00:03:20It's a lyrical visionary.
00:03:21It's a big compliment, little sis.
00:03:23Oh, my God.
00:03:24I am not your sister.
00:03:26You will be tomorrow.
00:03:29I can't wait.
00:03:37You really mean that, don't you?
00:03:39Like you actually love her that much.
00:03:44Okie dokie, Glenn.
00:03:45You better go say goodbye to Courtney.
00:03:47We're about to leave.
00:03:49Tyrannosaurus Lex!
00:03:51Good looking out.
00:03:53All right, guys.
00:03:53I'll see you later.
00:03:55It's like Cotton Candy became a man.
00:03:57That man is Glenn.
00:04:00I feel it's my duty as maid of honor to ask you respectfully to not flirt with a groom.
00:04:05I'm sorry, what?
00:04:06It is unseemly.
00:04:09Lexi, I'm not trying to have sex with Glenn.
00:04:12Uh, why are we talking about sex with my brother?
00:04:15Ever, but specifically at his rehearsal dinner?
00:04:18Well, Jasmine, Caitlin was getting a little flirtatious, and I was just reminding her.
00:04:22Like, are you the small talk police?
00:04:23Like, why are you watching me?
00:04:24It is my job to make sure that this day is perfect for court.
00:04:27Hey, fuck butt.
00:04:30Smash the groom in a bathroom like a civilized person instead of out in the fucking open,
00:04:35okay?
00:04:35Shut up, Jack.
00:04:36What?
00:04:37I'm the best man.
00:04:38I'm just looking out for my brother.
00:04:39Not your brother.
00:04:40Oh, really?
00:04:41Because frat is life.
00:04:44Jasmine, it's not too late.
00:04:46Grab Glenn.
00:04:47Run like hell.
00:04:48Bro, our family fucking rocks.
00:04:51Except for you.
00:04:51Okay.
00:04:52I think we need to regroup here.
00:04:54That's a good idea.
00:04:55Yeah.
00:04:56We should give our attention to the sister who actually deserves it.
00:04:59Right.
00:05:00Courtney's special day.
00:05:01Are you even invited to this thing?
00:05:27Not exactly.
00:05:28Okay.
00:05:28She never mentioned you after that night.
00:05:33Is that so?
00:05:37Now here you are.
00:05:43Give me your phone.
00:05:46Why?
00:05:47I'm gonna give you the address to our house.
00:05:50I don't know where it is.
00:05:54Okay, then.
00:05:55Come by later, maybe.
00:05:56Maybe.
00:05:56If I knock, you'll answer.
00:06:02I'd even let you in.
00:06:06Is that the same suit as last time?
00:06:09It's a good suit.
00:06:11Okay.
00:06:12I'll see you next time.
00:06:23Bye.
00:06:23Bye.
00:06:24Bye.
00:06:24Bye.
00:06:25Bye.
00:06:26Bye.
00:06:27Bye.
00:06:31Bye.
00:06:40Bye.
00:06:40so let's hold off on flirting with your sister's husband again can we drop this i just really
00:06:49didn't budget time for any family inviting tomorrow so fine courtney i'm sorry for speaking
00:06:56my cute female words at the male body of your fiance in my defense i didn't know that love
00:07:01was a form of absolute human ownership so yeah i don't care
00:07:05why is she acting so weird
00:07:12so what are we getting up to tonight ladies champagne do we need snacks i can braid your
00:07:24hair actually lexi told me that i could do coke off of her bare ass i did no such thing you are
00:07:30such a tease so yeah at least you'll probably want to head out just to maintain your plausible
00:07:35deniability yeah i'm gonna go call me if you need anything anything at all except cocaine
00:07:41i don't have that not anymore bye
00:07:47okay party time who's ready for pin the nose on glenn
00:07:55the hell flexi no it's gonna be so much fun and the printer charged me a pretty penny for this so
00:08:04we're doing this no i'm getting the tequila it's finally time to use these caitlin no i said no
00:08:14penises it's a bachelorette party you're supposed to be the maid of honor not our mom well your mom
00:08:19could come in at any moment and then what would she say please my mom once asked me if i spit or
00:08:24swallow did she really will you excuse me what is up with you
00:08:30are those my earrings no
00:08:35caitlin i thought you understood that this was her special day she's acting like a complete freak that
00:08:50is not nerves you couldn't possibly understand what she's feeling right she's my sister so i probably
00:08:56have said and yet i'm the maid of honor so wait what fluid does the alcohol represent
00:09:26if you get too drunk you're not going to stand a chance in the courtney trivia tournament
00:09:51that i made you can't even get courtney excited for your shit and that's embarrassing because she
00:09:56usually humors you she doesn't humor me she likes me you just wouldn't know what that feels like
00:10:02can you help me with something
00:10:03of course court
00:10:08bridesmaids
00:10:10assemble
00:10:16so i know i haven't been acting like myself
00:10:20lately it's just there's a weird energy so
00:10:24we're gonna fix it
00:10:28nope nope nope nope this is some white lady witch shit and i am not doing it i can attest that courtney
00:10:41has been really focused on her spirituality lately and i'm really proud of her for that commitment to
00:10:46self-care
00:10:48does mom know you used all of our salt don't touch that please
00:10:54this is really important to me to feel safe and centered this weekend
00:11:00can you just sit with me let's just cleanse this shit and be done
00:11:08she's got dolls in here and i am not okay
00:11:10so we're just gonna say destineo doma mumalo over and over
00:11:14we're chanting no can we please just hold a crystal and think happy thoughts god damn it caitlyn can you just cooperate for once
00:11:20this is her special day and if courtney wants to chant in latin in this candlelit room then that is what we're going to do
00:11:32we're going to do
00:11:51hands
00:11:52come on
00:11:54Destineo Domum Amalo
00:12:24Destineo Domum Amalo
00:12:26Destineo Domum Amalo
00:12:28Destineo Domum Amalo
00:12:30Destineo Domum Amalo
00:12:32Destineo Domum Amalo
00:12:34Destineo Domum Amalo
00:12:40Who the hell is here?
00:12:42Caitlin, I said no strippers.
00:12:44I didn't hire a stripper.
00:12:46Turns out it's really expensive
00:12:48to get them to come this far out into the suburbs.
00:12:50So you tried.
00:12:52There is someone here
00:12:54and I would like to know why.
00:12:56Oh.
00:13:00Caitlin?
00:13:02Caitlin, who is here?
00:13:04Hi.
00:13:06Hi.
00:13:08Dave?
00:13:10Hey Court.
00:13:12Your sister invited me.
00:13:14She said you never mentioned me.
00:13:16Caitlin, whatever you do, do not let me...
00:13:18Caitlin, you just gave him dominion over the house.
00:13:24I gave him what?
00:13:25Hi, babe.
00:13:26Why don't you introduce me to your friends?
00:13:36Caitlin!
00:13:37What the hell, Dave?
00:13:38I feel like you talk a lot.
00:13:40I'm gonna ask you to stop.
00:13:42Well, I don't actually give a shit what you tell me to do so...
00:13:44Dave?
00:13:46Dave, stop!
00:13:48Okay, fine.
00:13:50If any of you try to leave,
00:13:52that's what's gonna happen to you the second you step outside.
00:13:56So get in there.
00:13:58Who are you to tell me what to do?
00:14:02Oh, I thought that was obvious.
00:14:04I'm the devil.
00:14:06But you can call me Dave.
00:14:10Oh.
00:14:12Caitlin.
00:14:13Okay, that's the wildest stripper character,
00:14:15but you know what?
00:14:16Points for originality.
00:14:17Sir, I don't have any cash,
00:14:19but you deserve to be paid for your time and talents.
00:14:22Do you have a Venmo?
00:14:24Lexi?
00:14:27Lexi!
00:14:28Ow!
00:14:29Ow!
00:14:30Ow!
00:14:31Ow!
00:14:35Right.
00:14:36So...
00:14:38I...
00:14:39am the actual devil.
00:14:41Courtney here...
00:14:43belongs to me.
00:14:45And since you all cast that protection spell,
00:14:48she has ensured that you are all deeply
00:14:51and permanently involved.
00:14:54So take a goddamn seat!
00:15:17I like this.
00:15:19Who brought these?
00:15:25Oh, I knew I liked you.
00:15:27You choked me.
00:15:28Doesn't mean I don't like you.
00:15:33Ask your sister.
00:15:38I'm gonna order a pizza.
00:15:40What do you guys like?
00:15:42Oh, this one won't even look at me.
00:15:51I don't want any part of this.
00:15:53Or you.
00:15:54Or her.
00:15:55Yeah.
00:15:56Well, like I said...
00:15:57Just let me leave.
00:15:58They can stay.
00:15:59I don't give a shit about them.
00:16:00Let me go.
00:16:01I could.
00:16:02I really could.
00:16:03But then you'd technically be indebted to me.
00:16:06And yet this little guy right here
00:16:08makes me think that you don't really want to do that.
00:16:11I'm gonna get Hawaiian pizza.
00:16:12I don't care if you guys hate it.
00:16:13And while we wait, Courtney's gonna agree to be a hell bride.
00:16:14And the rest of you will be free of me forever.
00:16:15You can't do the ceremony.
00:16:16I don't consent.
00:16:17Yeah, which is why I'm gonna get your consent.
00:16:23No.
00:16:24No.
00:16:29I'm the king of hell, Courtney.
00:16:30You can't do the ceremony.
00:16:32I don't consent.
00:16:34Yeah, which is why I'm gonna get your consent.
00:16:36No.
00:16:40No.
00:16:42I'm the king of hell, Courtney.
00:16:46I ruin civilizations.
00:16:48I break up great pants.
00:16:50I raise the dead, and I hate...
00:16:52I mean, I really hate being told no
00:16:54by some piece of shit mortal.
00:16:56So let me go.
00:16:58Be rid of this piece of shit mortal forever.
00:17:00Do you read?
00:17:02Do you even know who I am?
00:17:04Like, that's never how this goes.
00:17:06You have plenty.
00:17:08You can get more. Just let me go.
00:17:10Just me.
00:17:12If she didn't let me in...
00:17:14What?
00:17:16You're just gonna spend your life
00:17:18behind protective wards.
00:17:20Do you really think, if you try to bind yourself to someone else,
00:17:30that mark isn't going to eat your flesh from the inside slowly and painfully?
00:17:36You've done all this work to learn all your little spells,
00:17:40but you still have no idea how any of this shit works.
00:17:44You probably don't even...
00:17:46You don't even know the one way out.
00:17:50Courtney?
00:17:52Do you know what he's talking about?
00:17:54Why did you bring him here?
00:17:56This changes everything.
00:18:00No!
00:18:02No!
00:18:04You can't do the ceremony. I do not consent.
00:18:10Yeah, but you will.
00:18:12I'm sort of known for being persuasive.
00:18:14No!
00:18:16No!
00:18:20Jasmine, move.
00:18:22Please, our friend and the devil are in there.
00:18:24She made her choice.
00:18:26Choices have consequences.
00:18:27Our lives shouldn't be one of those consequences.
00:18:29Do not agree.
00:18:34No!
00:18:35Wait!
00:18:36Help me!
00:18:37I really didn't want to do this, Cork.
00:18:40But honestly, you left me no choice.
00:18:42You get that, right?
00:18:47You have to let me in there.
00:18:48Alan, did you just hit me?
00:19:07He's gone.
00:19:08What? How?
00:19:10I don't know.
00:19:14The candles.
00:19:15The book.
00:19:18Maybe I banished him.
00:19:19Oh, Courtney, that's amazing.
00:19:21Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:19:22I'm touching what?
00:19:23Are you kidding, Lexi?
00:19:24Hey, is the...
00:19:26Is it still there?
00:19:29Yeah.
00:19:31But he's gone.
00:19:32That has to be good, right?
00:19:36Mother fuck...
00:19:38Plank me.
00:19:43Three...
00:19:44Two...
00:19:46One...
00:19:48Pizza city!
00:19:49Woo-hoo!
00:19:50That's spooky.
00:19:51You're too hot to be a pizza guy.
00:19:53You know, my mom says the same thing, actually.
00:19:54No.
00:19:55Those eyes, not of this world.
00:19:57Stab him now, Caitlyn.
00:19:59I'm not just gonna stab him.
00:20:00Well, what the hell are the knives for?
00:20:03Ignore them.
00:20:04I'll take it.
00:20:06All right!
00:20:07Squeeze me.
00:20:08Excuse me.
00:20:09Excuse me.
00:20:10Excuse me.
00:20:11Enjoy. Bye.
00:20:18Caitlyn, you don't need me for the stabbing, right?
00:20:20Yes, Hawaiian.
00:20:22You hate Hawaiian pizza.
00:20:23You wouldn't know.
00:20:24We're not close.
00:20:25But we are.
00:20:26Yeah, I'll just ask you, Ryan.
00:20:27Shit!
00:20:28The ferns!
00:20:29God damn it!
00:20:30All right.
00:20:31You got me.
00:20:32That was fun.
00:20:33Too bad he was still here.
00:20:35I feel bad.
00:20:56I feel bad.
00:20:59That whale.
00:21:07I usually think it's hot.
00:21:08But shit, not this context.
00:21:11Uh-uh-uh.
00:21:12Whatever you do hurts her.
00:21:14Not me.
00:21:15I, like, can't die, but she can.
00:21:17And you can.
00:21:18So, knives down, bitches.
00:21:20He won't.
00:21:27He won't do it.
00:21:28She has to consent to do the ceremony,
00:21:30and if he kills us, there's no way-
00:21:32I'm insider, ladies, and not in the fun way,
00:21:34so I really wouldn't bank on me giving a shit about-
00:21:37HANDS!
00:21:38The power's coming through the hands!
00:21:39You have to tie me!
00:21:40Shut up!
00:21:44I don't like how fast you did that.
00:21:46I'm not a cop.
00:21:47I just watched a lot of Law and Order.
00:21:49Criminal intent.
00:21:52Let's get her up the stairs.
00:21:59The original guy is totally not derivative.
00:22:01Shut up.
00:22:02Ooh, are you the leader now?
00:22:04Who's the leader?
00:22:09Okay, as maid of honor, I am clearly the one in charge.
00:22:12I've led every charge since this started, so-
00:22:14I am the only one that can be objective in this situation-
00:22:17No, you guys saw what we did with the knives.
00:22:18Dead Pete's a guy.
00:22:19It's your fault, and you're like-
00:22:20Are you kidding me?
00:22:21You're a hot guy.
00:22:22I am actually-
00:22:24Sabotage!
00:22:27Hallway meeting.
00:22:28Now.
00:22:30Sorry.
00:22:31I'm not trying to be the leader.
00:22:32I just, like, thought it was a good idea.
00:22:33White women and apologizing.
00:22:36Sorry.
00:22:37I'm not trying to be the leader.
00:22:38I'm not trying to be the leader.
00:22:39Okay, no one's the leader.
00:22:41But he's gonna try to pull shit like that at every turn.
00:22:44We need a plan.
00:22:45The only thing that really seemed to hurt him was your necklace.
00:22:47Yeah.
00:22:48Caitlin, do you have a crucifix?
00:22:50I, like, maybe have a Switchfoot CD.
00:22:52That's the best we're gonna get, Christwise.
00:22:55In the movies, they always have a priest.
00:22:57How are we gonna get a priest?
00:22:58We can't leave without choking to death, and my phone isn't exactly filled with men of God.
00:23:02I know how we get one.
00:23:06We have to call Glenn.
00:23:08No.
00:23:10It's just that it's really bad for the groom to see the bride right before the wedding.
00:23:20You're right.
00:23:21Yeah, like Satan is here.
00:23:23Yeah.
00:23:24Okay.
00:23:32You got Glenn.
00:23:37DJ Jazzy Jeff.
00:23:39Oh.
00:23:40Mm.
00:23:41Mm.
00:23:42Mm.
00:23:43Oh.
00:23:44Sounds fun.
00:23:45Cool.
00:23:46All right.
00:23:47We'll be there in the gym.
00:23:52I hate to press pause on fun, but the girls need a priest.
00:23:56The fuck?
00:23:57Why?
00:23:58I'm not really sure, but they seem like they were in a rush.
00:24:01So let's just pop this off, Matty, and fire up the old hiring horse.
00:24:04Okay.
00:24:05I'll bring the neck thing.
00:24:08All right.
00:24:10Well.
00:24:11I'm coming with you.
00:24:13This is weird.
00:24:14And if they're pranking you, I want to see it.
00:24:17Best man.
00:24:18Best man.
00:24:19What?
00:24:20I don't know, dude.
00:24:21Sometimes they'll just say shit.
00:24:22Yeah.
00:24:24Let's get up out of here.
00:24:25And, oh.
00:24:26When I come back, there better be a nose on my wife.
00:24:32I know that this must be really hard for you.
00:24:39I just feel like I'm setting a trap for him.
00:24:40It's not a trap.
00:24:41He loves her.
00:24:42He'd want to be here to help.
00:24:43I just don't want to scare him.
00:24:44You know?
00:24:45Yeah.
00:24:46We can't just leave him there.
00:24:47That can't do it.
00:24:48Yeah.
00:24:49Yeah.
00:24:50Yeah.
00:24:51I know that this must be really hard for you.
00:24:56I just feel like I'm setting a trap for him.
00:25:01It's not a trap.
00:25:02He loves her.
00:25:04He'd want to be here to help.
00:25:05I just don't want to scare him.
00:25:06You know?
00:25:07Yeah.
00:25:11We can't just leave him there.
00:25:14That can't stay.
00:25:33What are you looking for?
00:25:35It's my fault.
00:25:36Might as well try to fix it.
00:25:37When the hell did she learn Latin?
00:25:38You're the disgrace, right?
00:25:39Soiling the family name and shit.
00:25:42Yes.
00:25:43She didn't talk about you much.
00:25:44You went to jail, didn't you?
00:25:45Yeah.
00:25:46DUI.
00:25:47DUI?
00:25:48You kill anyone?
00:25:49No.
00:25:50Shame.
00:25:51Why her?
00:25:52Hot.
00:25:53Innocent.
00:25:54Exquisitely broken.
00:25:55Broken?
00:25:56No.
00:25:57She's perfect.
00:25:58Always has been.
00:25:59There's a million ways to be broken.
00:26:00I know them all intimately.
00:26:01Don't doubt my taste.
00:26:02Are there new people here?
00:26:03Hell yeah.
00:26:05What?
00:26:06What?
00:26:07What does he eat?
00:26:08What does he eat?
00:26:09Oh.
00:26:10Oh.
00:26:11Glenn.
00:26:12Jasmine.
00:26:13always has been there's a million ways to be broken i know them all intimately don't doubt my taste
00:26:21are there new people here
00:26:26hell yeah
00:26:31what what does he eat
00:26:39glenn jasmine jasmine
00:26:44glenn don't come jasmine jasmine
00:26:51jasmine
00:27:27she's not going anywhere
00:27:58frat
00:28:59it's not her she's possessed by the devil like we said so father will help
00:29:08i feel like now's a good time to mention that i was ordained online
00:29:11matt's my buddy from the office are you serious but whatever power there is to be
00:29:15found in the universal life church i'll use it
00:29:54the uh power of christ
00:29:58compels you
00:30:01please leave
00:30:02is that is that holy water
00:30:07i found it in glenn's car so no
00:30:10can we focus please and try again blessed assurance jesus is mine we learned it at camp
00:30:19we know it
00:30:26we don't hum
00:30:27or something
00:30:28Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine.
00:30:37Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine.
00:30:43Heir of salvation, purchase of God.
00:30:51Oh, she's going to dislocate her arms.
00:31:04No, wait.
00:31:04If he gets control of our hands, we're all dead.
00:31:16Bottled water and a church camp song.
00:31:19Are you serious?
00:31:20God damn it.
00:31:22Dang.
00:31:23I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
00:31:28Where?
00:31:29Sorry, it's call and response.
00:31:32What does that mean?
00:31:33Hey!
00:31:37Too spooky.
00:31:39We're going about this all wrong.
00:31:41Agreed.
00:31:42We've been trying to get him out, but maybe we should go directly to Courtney herself.
00:31:47Right.
00:31:47Like when he killed the pizza guy, but she screamed.
00:31:49Excuse me?
00:31:50What?
00:31:52Wait, what?
00:31:54Oh, we didn't mention the pizza guy.
00:31:56Oh, there's a dead pizza guy.
00:31:58We moved him.
00:32:00Define dead.
00:32:01It's a good looking man.
00:32:06Yeah.
00:32:08When he died, she screamed and she really came back.
00:32:17We saw it.
00:32:17It's got to be you, Glenn.
00:32:18This whole thing.
00:32:19This whole thing.
00:32:20I mean, he's here because she wants to be with you.
00:32:22Are you suggesting we use him as bait?
00:32:24No, no.
00:32:25I'm just wondering if, like, a show of love might do something.
00:32:29While I do love my future wife, uh, I'm a little concerned, uh, because I know that's the devil and I don't want to, you know.
00:32:37Oh, no.
00:32:38No, no, no.
00:32:38No, Glenn.
00:32:39And, uh, that is not the kind of show of love we're talking about.
00:32:41No.
00:32:42No.
00:32:43Oh.
00:32:44Okay.
00:32:45Got it.
00:32:46Yeah.
00:32:47Yeah.
00:32:48Like, it's not a sex thing.
00:32:49My mistake.
00:32:50Got it.
00:32:51My mistake.
00:32:52You have to do the thing, man.
00:32:54You have to, bro.
00:32:56It's for the wedding.
00:32:59And I, I, I've been practicing for months.
00:33:01I can't.
00:33:02I know.
00:33:03There will be no wedding if you don't get Satan out of her, man.
00:33:06Okay.
00:33:07Okay.
00:33:08Okay.
00:33:09Okay.
00:33:10Okay.
00:33:11Okay.
00:33:12Okay.
00:33:13Okay.
00:33:14I'm gonna do it.
00:33:15Um, just give me a minute.
00:33:16Hey.
00:33:17You take all the time you need, brother.
00:33:19You got this.
00:33:21Yeah.
00:33:22Yeah.
00:33:23Fly a little bird.
00:33:24Okay.
00:33:27What is it?
00:33:28Shut the fuck up, Caitlyn!
00:33:31Why is he friends with you?
00:33:34That's you.
00:33:35That is what your face looks like and sounds like when you do that.
00:33:38What the fuck are you doing?
00:33:43Seeing how to make water holy.
00:33:47We are so fucked.
00:33:52So fucked.
00:33:59Oh shit.
00:34:00Glenn's not choking.
00:34:01He could go get help.
00:34:02Oh my god.
00:34:03Yes.
00:34:04Yes.
00:34:05Let's bring more people into this.
00:34:06Especially the police who I'm sure would love to see that shockingly attractive dead pizza man.
00:34:17You wish you were as hot as that dead pizza man.
00:34:19I...
00:34:20Fuck.
00:34:21Yeah.
00:34:22Fuck.
00:34:23What are you looking for?
00:34:45My Switchfoot CD.
00:34:46Oh.
00:34:47Cool.
00:34:48So she told you about Dave.
00:34:49Not me.
00:34:50Yeah, she probably didn't want you to steal him.
00:34:51I never stole from her.
00:34:52Oh really?
00:34:53Because I fucking gave her those earrings for Christmas, you piece of shit.
00:34:56Why do you even care?
00:34:57You hate Courtney.
00:34:58So you went for ice cream.
00:34:59That was 20 fucking years ago.
00:35:00Can you let it go?
00:35:01Yeah.
00:35:02No.
00:35:03No.
00:35:04No.
00:35:05No.
00:35:06No.
00:35:07No.
00:35:08No.
00:35:09No.
00:35:10No.
00:35:11No.
00:35:12No.
00:35:13No.
00:35:14No.
00:35:15No.
00:35:16No.
00:35:17No.
00:35:18No.
00:35:19No.
00:35:20No.
00:35:21No.
00:35:22No.
00:35:23No.
00:35:24No.
00:35:25No.
00:35:26No.
00:35:27No.
00:35:28No.
00:35:29No.
00:35:30Oh, come on.
00:35:31I'm sorry.
00:35:32Can you let it go?
00:35:33You know what I did that night?
00:35:34What?
00:35:35I screamed and I cried so hard that I couldn't talk for a week.
00:35:36Cool.
00:35:37So you see why we didn't invite you.
00:35:38Did it ever occur to you that I might not be so miserable to be around if you didn't
00:35:40treat me like shit?
00:35:41You treat yourself like shit and that's contagious.
00:35:44You treat everyone like shit.
00:35:45You're self-possessed and you're cruel and you're shallow.
00:35:49And I don't understand why she still comes to you.
00:35:51I don't know what to fucking tell ya, okay?
00:35:54But I'm not gonna apologize because I'm not here for you.
00:35:57Right. It's Courtney's special day.
00:36:00God damn it. You are insufferable.
00:36:03That's a big word.
00:36:04Did you find my SAT flashcards?
00:36:06Oh, really? Did you find Dee's nuts?
00:36:13I never hated Courtney.
00:36:15I wanted to be everything she was,
00:36:18and when I wasn't, I took what I could.
00:36:22When what you want is all of somebody,
00:36:24and they only give you scraps,
00:36:25yeah, you start to wish that they didn't exist at all.
00:36:44What is happening?
00:36:47What is happening?
00:36:55Do you all have to be here?
00:36:58Yeah, Glenn, that's the king of hell in there,
00:37:00so I think you want all the backup you can get.
00:37:02Yeah.
00:37:06Okay, Courtneyito Burrito.
00:37:08I know you're in there.
00:37:12I was planning for this to be a little wedding surprise.
00:37:16As you know, I have a strong love for the legendary music group,
00:37:21Boyz II Men,
00:37:22balanced by a healthy fear of copyright infringement.
00:37:25Dude, for the last time,
00:37:27they can't sue you over a one-time performance at a private event.
00:37:30I was planning to go viral.
00:37:32I know, bud. That's not how viral works.
00:37:37This is, uh, an original spoken word.
00:37:41What in the fresh hell?
00:38:00Bowser said,
00:38:02we are wet,
00:38:04so let's dim the lights down, Lo.
00:38:07because I got some love to show,
00:38:12and I'm more confident in the dark,
00:38:16as you know.
00:38:21Tied or not, let's get hot.
00:38:26Just like the sexy kind of warm,
00:38:30my body is a sexy storm.
00:38:34You were gonna let him do this at the wedding?
00:38:36I co-wrote it.
00:38:39Oh, my God.
00:38:40I'm gonna make it rain.
00:38:43I'm gonna let this love pour.
00:38:47Too biblically know.
00:38:49Me too have sex so.
00:38:53I'm gonna know my wife
00:38:56for the rest of my life.
00:39:01Too biblically know.
00:39:02Me too have sex so.
00:39:05And I'm gonna know you so hard
00:39:08if you consent
00:39:10to.
00:39:12Well, fuck me.
00:39:16Oh, Glenn.
00:39:17Holy shit.
00:39:18Matt, untie her.
00:39:19We need the ropes.
00:39:21Glenn, I love you so much.
00:39:23I'm so sorry.
00:39:25No, he'll just try to jump into one of us
00:39:26if we try to get too close.
00:39:28Satanic possession can only happen
00:39:29if you have some major vulnerability
00:39:30usually caused by making a deal with him.
00:39:32How do you know that?
00:39:34You think I haven't spent every free moment
00:39:35on Satan's Wikipedia page?
00:39:39And what makes anyone more vulnerable
00:39:41than true love?
00:39:45Where did he go?
00:39:47Glenn, you're holding me really tight.
00:39:49Don't wanna let you go.
00:39:50No.
00:39:51No, no, no.
00:39:52Where did he go?
00:39:53What the fuck?
00:40:15Stronger than he looks.
00:40:17Oh, yeah.
00:40:20This works for you.
00:40:22What?
00:40:23It's me, Lisa.
00:40:25Who the fuck is Lisa?
00:40:27She's the wedding planner.
00:40:28Was she supposed to be here?
00:40:29No.
00:40:30I hope you don't mind.
00:40:31I just let myself in.
00:40:33We had a little hiccup with the ice sculpture.
00:40:35It required a conversation.
00:40:37No.
00:40:38No.
00:40:39No.
00:40:40No, Dave.
00:40:41No!
00:40:42No!
00:40:44No!
00:40:45No!
00:40:46No, Dave!
00:40:47No!
00:40:48No!
00:40:49No!
00:40:50No!
00:40:51No!
00:40:52No!
00:40:53No!
00:40:54No!
00:40:57No!
00:40:59Well, Glenn, what on earth are you doing here?
00:41:00Well, Glenn, what on earth are you doing here, you sly doggy?
00:41:07Yeah, we had a...we had an interesting night tonight.
00:41:10I know, snorting drugs off butts.
00:41:13Yeah, yeah.
00:41:14Oh, and look at that sharp suit.
00:41:17This little thing.
00:41:20Yeah, I really liked it, and, um, just hate to get something on it, you know?
00:41:25Well, how can I even call myself a wedding planner without these bad boys?
00:41:30Pew, pew.
00:41:40Help! Courtney!
00:41:42We gotta help, Glenn.
00:41:44Help! Help!
00:41:47We have to get him back in here.
00:41:48We need the book. I'll grab the salt.
00:41:50We have to save my brother.
00:41:52Lisa!
00:41:54Lisa!
00:41:56Lisa!
00:41:58Run!
00:42:00What happened?
00:42:02Jasmine? Jasmine.
00:42:04Jasmine.
00:42:06Jasmine.
00:42:08Jasmine.
00:42:10Jasmine.
00:42:12Jasmine.
00:42:14Jasmine.
00:42:16We have to get him back in my room.
00:42:26Uh, no.
00:42:28Shit.
00:42:32Shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:42:34Relax.
00:42:35You're not gonna die.
00:42:36But someone will.
00:42:37Are you really about to give a villain speech, Dave?
00:42:42Maybe.
00:42:43You see, this body, unlike Courtney's, belong to an actually good person.
00:42:44You know?
00:42:45You know?
00:42:46You know?
00:42:47Shit.
00:42:48Shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:42:49What?
00:42:50Relax.
00:42:51You're not gonna die.
00:42:52But someone will.
00:42:53Are you really about to give a villain speech, Dave?
00:42:55Maybe.
00:42:56You see, this body, unlike Courtney's, belong to an actually good person.
00:43:12It's airtight.
00:43:13So if you guys are thinking of trying anything heroic, don't.
00:43:25I do feel a little outnumbered.
00:43:36Valuable.
00:43:42Interesting.
00:43:49The whole reason why we're here.
00:43:55Expendable.
00:43:58Dave, don't.
00:44:03Did you really think I was gonna do that whole walkie-talkie thing and just kill him off right now?
00:44:10You have no sense of production value.
00:44:14Guys, relax.
00:44:16It's a party.
00:44:19Let's play a game.
00:44:21Welcome to Courtney trivia.
00:44:26That I made.
00:44:28Brought to you by her useless maid of honor.
00:44:32What's your name again?
00:44:34It's Lexi.
00:44:36Lexi.
00:44:37So I'm gonna ask the questions.
00:44:39And if you think the answer is...
00:44:42One more time.
00:44:45It's Lexi.
00:44:47If you think it's Lexi, put her shoe in the air.
00:44:51And if you think it's this piece of shit...
00:44:53Dude.
00:44:54Put his up.
00:44:56And if you both agree, you're safe.
00:45:00But if you disagree...
00:45:03I'll be forced to choose who's right.
00:45:06And that's the end of the game.
00:45:08No hints or helping.
00:45:13Please stop this.
00:45:15Just say the word.
00:45:17And I absolutely will.
00:45:20You know what I want.
00:45:27Okay, here we go.
00:45:29Question number one.
00:45:30Question number one.
00:45:35Who has known Courtney the longest?
00:45:41Three, two, one.
00:45:46It's easy.
00:45:48But very good.
00:45:50Very good.
00:45:51Question two.
00:45:55Who will Courtney bring with her in a fight?
00:45:57Three, two, one.
00:46:07Hmm.
00:46:10Still easy.
00:46:12Still easy.
00:46:14It's good though.
00:46:16Question three.
00:46:19Who loves Courtney more?
00:46:23Don't be a hero.
00:46:24Stop talking.
00:46:25Okay.
00:46:26Yes.
00:46:27We'll do that.
00:46:28Three.
00:46:30Two.
00:46:32One.
00:46:35Hmm.
00:46:36Excellent.
00:46:39Excellent.
00:46:41Hmm.
00:46:43This is a good one.
00:46:49Who deserves to live?
00:46:55One.
00:46:57Two.
00:46:58No.
00:47:00Two.
00:47:01One.
00:47:02Two.
00:47:04One.
00:47:06Three.
00:47:08Two.
00:47:10Two.
00:47:17Two.
00:47:20On NBC.
00:47:21There.
00:47:22Four.
00:47:23three two one oh my god I gave Lisa the key mom you're not answering your phones and you know how
00:47:42I hate that you got some pizza out here do you need it get rid of your mother I totally would
00:47:50Dave except I can't get close to that door without choking to death thanks to you so
00:47:54oh get rid of her my mom please don't hurt my mom dude just can we I'll get rid of her
00:48:06let's go
00:48:09mom what the fuck
00:48:16Chucky sweetie what on earth are you doing here silly boy oh um that's a good question I they the spilled
00:48:26some lip gloss and they needed my help so yeah on account of all that it's kind of not a good time
00:48:32and you should get the fuck out of here that bad over lip gloss yep lip gloss what's going on in
00:48:37there nothing nothing it's just well Courtney is nervous and Caitlyn's not helping kind of like
00:48:45you so you should go don't tell me they're fighting again a little bit they are can you just leave
00:48:50well mom you're just gonna have to tell me whatever the fuck it is you came here to tell them okay
00:49:04shit okay okay baby boy I just brought I just brought her a little gift great what the fuck
00:49:11is this lube yes it's organic oh my god it really is life changing oh mom what the fuck well it was
00:49:20supposed to be a little special wedding gift from a woman to a woman but you got in the way mom she's
00:49:25your daughter and she deserves an eco-conscious lubricated sexual experience like anybody else
00:49:33that's disgusting you're weird this is our chance
00:49:37I've beat his ass before
00:49:41oh and tomorrow please don't wear your sunglasses with those little chokey things around the neck
00:49:52it doesn't look good first of all don't tell me what to do okay and second of all they're called
00:49:58crookies you idiot okay okay sweetheart okay well it's time to go so just bye mom okay sweetie
00:50:06all right I love you this was fun bye mom fuck I love you okay now fucking leave
00:50:15and what a trip can I see that lube sure
00:50:22what the fuck oh shit
00:50:28you like that devil bitch
00:50:31still got it
00:50:44all right
00:50:48everyone get out and stay back
00:50:54what are you get out of my way caitlin
00:51:01give up court
00:51:15non for terabit
00:51:17non for terabit
00:51:18you have seasoning of library blood
00:51:19non for terabit
00:51:22non for terabit
00:51:24non for terabit
00:51:30non for terabit
00:51:32non for terabit
00:51:33you shall not pass
00:51:35god damn gandalf shit
00:51:37i will get you out of him
00:51:42you won't
00:51:43and you can't
00:51:45i'm not letting him get close to the surface
00:51:50he is trying though
00:51:53it must really hurt
00:51:56you remember
00:51:57you remember
00:52:01let's leave him
00:52:03caitlin
00:52:04keep watch
00:52:05feeling a little bit left out
00:52:12feeling a little bit left out
00:52:20okay
00:52:23i learned these protections in wards surely there's something else in here we can use
00:52:26so he can't die
00:52:27right
00:52:28whatever we do to his body now affects glenn
00:52:29not him and i am not willing to risk glenn
00:52:33okay what do you need court
00:52:34you want a water i'll get you water
00:52:35so we need to get him out of glenn and then sent back to hell
00:52:39sick
00:52:40okay
00:52:41we'll need the four of us again but we can banish him
00:52:43yes
00:52:44but if we do it now we're just sending glenn to hell that's what you just said
00:52:50yes
00:52:51and if there is another spell in that book to get him out of my brother i'm sure dave won't give us the time before he slaughters us all
00:52:58you're right i can make you a grilled cheese so what exactly is the plan i'm here now what i get him out you send him back what the fuck
00:53:15chuck the energy and focus these incantations require this is an exorcism but it asks for four mortals too
00:53:23okay so we just need three more people
00:53:25no
00:53:26i'm not bringing anyone else into this
00:53:28do they have to be alive
00:53:31me matt the pizza guy bucket of what's her fuck it's
00:53:35theoretically they could channel energy but they can't amplify it and you don't have enough intention on your own
00:53:40i don't know what any of that means
00:53:42anybody want a xanax
00:53:45right here
00:53:46lexi
00:53:48do you take adderall
00:53:50do i
00:53:52remember that econ final
00:54:01fuck yeah
00:54:02i can get you a water
00:54:04water
00:54:05you're cute
00:54:07thank you
00:54:08oh my god
00:54:24oh my god
00:54:25boop
00:54:27boop
00:54:28boop
00:54:29boop
00:54:30sorry
00:54:31you're not
00:54:52ma
00:54:53Fuck.
00:55:23Left out again?
00:55:30I'm used to it, it's fine.
00:55:35Convincing.
00:55:38Am I not?
00:55:41I can't come out.
00:55:44But you can come in.
00:55:47You gonna kill me?
00:55:50No, no.
00:55:53I like you, remember?
00:55:59What?
00:56:02It's nothing, it's, um...
00:56:05I always thought of Glenn as such a dweeb, but with you in him, he's...
00:56:09Hot, right?
00:56:12Yeah, I think I suit him.
00:56:16I think you do.
00:56:20Since we've already established how unconvincing I am, I suppose I can't persuade you to go away?
00:56:38Leave our family alone forever?
00:56:41Yeah, that's not really how I operate.
00:56:44I get it.
00:56:46It's not really how I operate either.
00:56:48If I don't look out for me, who will?
00:56:52Exactly.
00:56:53And if you want something, you better be willing to trade.
00:56:57Okay, I think this will work.
00:57:06Is he gonna be okay?
00:57:07Jesus, what is your dosage, Lexi?
00:57:10Oh, it's very high.
00:57:12Okay, have him stay focused on Glenn.
00:57:15We can't have him fixate on anything else.
00:57:16Okay, wait, wait, wait, does Glenn know that I'm the one who watched all the softcore porn on his old Cinemax account?
00:57:42He does now.
00:57:45How do you do the eye thing?
00:57:49Because, like, sometimes they're yellow, but sometimes they're not.
00:57:51Okay, hold on.
00:57:53No, you're still brown.
00:57:57It's not.
00:57:58It's not working.
00:57:59Sorry.
00:58:00I'm just a little nervous.
00:58:01I don't know why.
00:58:02This doesn't really happen to me.
00:58:04Dave, are you serious?
00:58:08Courtney, that is my husband.
00:58:12Not to split hairs, that's actually Satan possessing your fiancé.
00:58:16Oh, well, either way, you screwing him in my childhood bedroom does not seem appropriate or helpful.
00:58:20I wasn't.
00:58:21I was just talking.
00:58:22I'm trying to see if he'd be willing to trade it and let me go.
00:58:23Spare me.
00:58:24Spare me your constant lies.
00:58:25I'm not lying.
00:58:26Oh, so you'll just go live in hell?
00:58:27For you?
00:58:28For Glenn to fix this?
00:58:29Yeah, I would.
00:58:30Bullshit.
00:58:31You are the most selfish person I know.
00:58:32You take everything for yourself.
00:58:33Is it so impossible to believe that I'm trying to help?
00:58:35I don't want your help.
00:58:36The only thing you do is consistently get in the way and screw shit up.
00:58:51Says the woman bound to Satan.
00:58:52You invited him in!
00:58:53I didn't know, Courtney.
00:58:54You never tell me anything and now we're here and people are dead.
00:58:57I know that.
00:58:58Where are you going?
00:59:00I know what I did.
00:59:01I know it's sick.
00:59:02I know what we've already lost.
00:59:03I know all of that.
00:59:04I also know those are absolutely my earrings.
00:59:05For me.
00:59:06Will you just let me?
00:59:07Hi.
00:59:08What the fuck is all this yelling?
00:59:13John!
00:59:19Good job!
00:59:20What the fuck is all this yelling?!
00:59:24John!
00:59:25The people is yelling!
00:59:47We gotta go.
00:59:49We gotta go.
00:59:51We gotta go.
00:59:53We gotta go.
01:00:01Sorry, I just wanted to use the good bathroom.
01:00:06Lexi, run!
01:00:19Stay with Jack.
01:00:23Come on, Cuy.
01:00:25Go!
01:00:27Go!
01:00:28Go!
01:00:29You want me?
01:00:57I let her go.
01:01:01Court, what's the fun in that?
01:01:04She's innocent.
01:01:11She's expendable.
01:01:15And she's under the bed.
01:01:20You can come out now.
01:01:25That's my obedient girl.
01:01:32I'm not perturbed.
01:01:38What did you just say?
01:01:43I said, you shall not pass.
01:01:49I'm perturbed.
01:01:51I'm perturbed.
01:01:53You're very slick.
01:01:54You know, you deserve to be paid for your time.
01:01:58Lexi!
01:02:00No, no, no, no.
01:02:06It's okay, Court.
01:02:08It's okay.
01:02:10No, Lexi!
01:02:14No, no, no, no.
01:02:18Courtney, I just saw Chuck.
01:02:21Courtney, look what you did.
01:02:27I didn't.
01:02:28I didn't.
01:02:29I know this is a bad time, but I think I know what he meant by one way out.
01:02:33Get the hell out.
01:02:35Now.
01:02:36Where?
01:02:37Where do you want me to go?
01:02:38Your boyfriend put a curse on the goddamn house.
01:02:40I don't give a shit.
01:02:42Go!
01:02:43Shut up, both of you!
01:02:44Courtney, if you have a mark, it means he gave you a ring.
01:02:48I know you're in pain, but I need you to think, Courtney, where is it?
01:02:51He didn't give me a ring.
01:02:52Jasmine, I would remember.
01:02:53It doesn't have to be a ring.
01:02:54It can be a necklace or a crown, as long as it's infinite.
01:02:58Just, it could be like...
01:03:00A bangle.
01:03:01That's very sweet.
01:03:03I usually do a lot of persuading, but the first thing you did when we met was bind yourself
01:03:08to me forever.
01:03:09Oh, my God.
01:03:11Courtney, you can use it against him.
01:03:14It works the other way.
01:03:15You can bind him.
01:03:16He didn't tell you that, but think.
01:03:18Where is it?
01:03:20I...
01:03:22What?
01:03:23I don't know.
01:03:24Unbelievable.
01:03:25I didn't know it was important, and I didn't know how any of this shit works!
01:03:37Why are you still here?
01:03:42Yeah, he's fighting.
01:03:46He's fighting.
01:03:47He's in here.
01:03:49No!
01:03:50If you die, he has no reason to spare Glenn!
01:04:04How is that not everything running through your mind right now?
01:04:06I can't figure this out!
01:04:07This ends one way!
01:04:08I love him so much!
01:04:09Bullshit!
01:04:10If you loved my brother, you would have stayed away.
01:04:14What did you think?
01:04:15You'd be the first person in history the devil just let go?
01:04:19Because you asked?
01:04:23You're the danger, Courtney.
01:04:25You.
01:04:26I love him.
01:04:27It isn't enough.
01:04:28You're a trap, Courtney.
01:04:34You give the devil his due, and you set my brother free.
01:04:40I can't.
01:04:41Courtney!
01:04:42No!
01:04:43Courtney!
01:04:44No!
01:04:45When you can breathe, and we can't...
01:04:47You're not special.
01:04:48You're not lucky.
01:05:02You're the cursed soul.
01:05:15You're the cursed soul.
01:05:16It's...
01:05:46Oh, my God.
01:06:16Hmm.
01:06:46I'll go.
01:07:03Let him out.
01:07:05I consent.
01:07:06No.
01:07:07After.
01:07:09After?
01:07:11I'll do the ceremony in this body.
01:07:13And then I'll release him after.
01:07:16Here.
01:07:18A little something I worked up?
01:07:24You and I both know you have no business being in a white dress.
01:07:35Witnesses?
01:07:38If you please.
01:07:45Where's your sister?
01:07:51Fuck my sister.
01:07:53Hmm.
01:07:54Maybe later.
01:07:56This is your day.
01:07:57I'll walk my sister.
01:08:00No like her.
01:08:01But they'll get away from me.
01:08:02What?
01:08:02I'm going to do there.
01:08:03Yes.
01:08:03I'll do it with her.
01:08:04春 is coming on the wedding day.
01:08:06I don't know.
01:08:36Showtime.
01:08:43You.
01:08:45There.
01:08:53And here comes the bride.
01:09:06And here comes the bride.
01:09:36And here comes the bride.
01:10:06Oh, shit.
01:10:09I've spent my entire life trying to live in your light and finding your shadow every time.
01:10:15The better daughter, better sister, better woman.
01:10:18But none of that goodness left for me.
01:10:20If I was lucky enough to get any of you, you fed me with anger and content.
01:10:27You never gave me shit.
01:10:28So are you surprised that I stole instead?
01:10:31I have stolen everything I possibly could from you.
01:10:37The only thing of yours I've never wanted is Glenn, but Dave.
01:10:45Dave I want.
01:10:48That's real cute.
01:10:50But that just won't work for me, babe.
01:10:52I'm not going to give her up.
01:10:56This isn't about her.
01:10:58I look out for me, remember?
01:11:01What I want.
01:11:02What is it you want?
01:11:12For the first time in my life, I am the right sister.
01:11:15I am the right sister.
01:11:16I am the right sister.
01:11:17I am the right sister.
01:11:18I am the right sister.
01:11:20So pick me.
01:11:23I am broken.
01:11:24I am broken.
01:11:25I am broken.
01:11:26Like her and more.
01:11:27But I also get you.
01:11:29I don't fight that side of myself like she does.
01:11:32I am the right sister.
01:11:34So pick me.
01:11:35And I am eagerly, enthusiastically yours.
01:11:40I said I don't want Glenn.
01:11:44You really do like me, don't you?
01:11:48Is this better?
01:11:56Glenn!
01:12:01Of all the things I have taken from my sister, I will always be proudest of this.
01:12:10What the?
01:12:11No way.
01:12:18You will never hurt any of us ever again.
01:12:23You liar.
01:12:26I always liked your sister more.
01:12:27I feel like you talk a lot.
01:12:29I am going to ask you to stop.
01:12:35Now heal him.
01:12:36Courtney!
01:12:37Courtney!
01:12:38Courtney!
01:12:39Courtney!
01:12:40Courtney!
01:12:41Courtney!
01:12:42Courtney!
01:12:43Courtney!
01:12:44Jazzy!
01:12:46Glenn.
01:12:49Jasmine, go.
01:12:52Live your lives, please.
01:12:53Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:12:54Jazzy, wait.
01:12:56I won't go.
01:13:00This woman brought hell on you.
01:13:02That woman beat hell back for me.
01:13:12Why would I want to walk away from something so powerful?
01:13:23Release her.
01:13:25Forever.
01:13:32Do you really want to be with Dave?
01:13:44Oh.
01:13:45God, no.
01:13:47I mean, I might have fucked him one time.
01:13:49Just to say that I did it.
01:13:55You may speak.
01:13:56Finally!
01:13:57God, it's so boring without me.
01:13:59Can I go?
01:14:00It's been like one minute.
01:14:02It sucks!
01:14:03You suck!
01:14:08Can you bring them back?
01:14:21One.
01:14:30Obviously, you have to bring your brother back.
01:14:43Are y'all for real?
01:14:45Think about how much nicer Lexi is.
01:14:47Like, who's gonna make the world a better place?
01:14:49Well, Chuck's Glenn's best friend, too, so...
01:14:51Yeah, well, we gotta be thinking about more people than...
01:14:53God damn it.
01:14:56Sabotage.
01:14:59Tell the truth.
01:15:01Okay, I can bring back two.
01:15:04I had a rollover from last month.
01:15:06Your resurrection powers work like cellular minutes?
01:15:09I don't make the rules.
01:15:11Who does?
01:15:13We don't really have time to tackle that at this point.
01:15:14Okay, uh, bring them both back, Lexi and Chuck, safely and as themselves.
01:15:21Oh, and for the next three months, your resurrections are reserved.
01:15:25Matt, hot pizza guy, bucket of Lisa.
01:15:30You are no fun.
01:15:31Which is really sad because I actually thought that you were.
01:15:33Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Fuck! God damn it! Fuck!
01:15:46Courtney, you look beautiful.
01:15:49Did I die?
01:15:52Glenn, did I die?
01:15:53You tell me if I died, right?
01:15:56Let's get married.
01:15:58Right now.
01:16:01How?
01:16:03You didn't even put priest dude in contention.
01:16:06Gah!
01:16:08Is anyone else online ordained?
01:16:16Dave?
01:16:18Are you an ordained priest?
01:16:21Okay, yes.
01:16:23I had some mortal friends in New York that asked me and I got online ordained, okay?
01:16:28Yes.
01:16:30We can get Dave to do it.
01:16:32Can I...
01:16:34Can I get ready first?
01:16:37Court!
01:16:39This is our purpose.
01:16:41Bridesbabes?
01:16:50Assemble!
01:16:53Excuse me.
01:16:54Excuse me.
01:16:55Hey, sorry.
01:16:56Did I die?
01:17:01Did I die?
01:17:05Someone answer me!
01:17:08Am I dead now?
01:17:10What the fuck?
01:17:12What the fuck!
01:17:25Uh...
01:17:26You good bro?
01:17:27Yeah man, hold still.
01:17:28I'm still.
01:17:29Almost there.
01:17:30I died.
01:17:31Yeah.
01:17:32Like, I died, died.
01:17:33Yeah, that was scary.
01:17:33And then I came back.
01:17:35Yeah, I saw the whole thing.
01:17:36Fuck.
01:17:45Court, no, your mascara.
01:17:46It's okay, Lexi.
01:17:51I'm ready.
01:18:00You will go through with this.
01:18:16Yeah.
01:18:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:18:18Then you will leave.
01:18:20You'll never return to any of us ever again.
01:18:24Never it is, then.
01:18:26I didn't ask you to do this.
01:18:41For that one time, just say you did.
01:18:47This is the front desk number for the Orlando DMV.
01:18:51Yeah.
01:18:56Got to be honest, man.
01:19:02Being dead takes a lot out of you.
01:19:04Hey.
01:19:07You know our feelings, man.
01:19:09You are strong as hell.
01:19:12Got to know what your protein intake is.
01:19:19Would you like to stand with your brother?
01:19:22His bench is depleted.
01:19:26I don't forgive you.
01:19:30You never should.
01:19:35Okay.
01:19:37So, at the rehearsal, I went first,
01:19:40and then Lexi goes right before you.
01:19:41I'd like you both to walk me down.
01:19:46My maids of honor.
01:19:49Courtney, no, you don't have to do that.
01:19:52Um, Lexi, can you give us a minute?
01:19:54You bet.
01:19:55I want to see if I can get some of this blood out.
01:19:59Caitlin?
01:19:59I know that I fixed it with the bracelet thing,
01:20:01but I stole the bracelet in the first place,
01:20:04and I brought Dave here because I knew it would make you mad,
01:20:07and I still did all that terrible stuff our whole lives.
01:20:09I was never as good as you thought I was.
01:20:12My whole life, you had me on this pedestal.
01:20:19I knew I was never going to live up to it.
01:20:22Chuck is terrible,
01:20:24but at least I never felt like I was disappointing him.
01:20:27I knew I'd always disappoint you.
01:20:34That isn't true.
01:20:36I mean, I know that now.
01:20:38But I was so focused on how you made me feel.
01:20:43I just never thought about what it was doing to you.
01:20:48My whole life, I've never thought about anyone but myself.
01:20:50And in spite of that,
01:20:55you still almost went to hell for me.
01:21:03You are not a disgrace.
01:21:11Ready?
01:21:13Hell yeah.
01:21:14Hell yeah.
01:21:45And now, by the power invested in me by the internet, I pronounce you husband and wife.
01:22:15You may kiss the bride.
01:22:25Yoo-hoo! I've got Grandma's key. You can't keep me out this time. Where's my pretty girl?
01:22:32Loop lady!
01:22:33Are those organs?
01:22:44Yeah. And a detergent stick if you want to use that.
01:22:47Oh, I did it!
01:23:00We all did it.
01:23:02Oh, fuck.
01:23:03I'm gonna head out.
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