- 2 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The hopes, the dreams, the aspirations of a striving people for a better world to live in.
00:00:26The future is with us today. Their bright, shining faces are ours.
00:00:38These young people will sally forth for us carrying the banner of decency, love, honesty, intelligence,
00:00:53and they will forge our coming world.
00:01:02They will be our hairdressers, undertakers, automobile salesmen, sex therapists, interior decorators,
00:01:20gynaecologists, and perhaps a president of our United States.
00:01:32And today we celebrate their beginnings. I proudly give you our graduating class.
00:01:41Pat Rosen, Robin Gallop, Betsy DeBella, David Marwood, Kimberly Ann,
00:01:50Kimberley Ann, Kimberley Ann,
00:01:55Jonathan Martin,
00:01:59Max Cooney,
00:02:00Max Cooney,
00:02:02Jeffrey J. Newman,
00:02:04Jennifer Grant,
00:02:06Inga Johansson,
00:02:07Edward Morris,
00:02:08Edward Morris,
00:02:09David Marwood,
00:02:10David Marwood,
00:02:11Kimberley Ann,
00:02:12Kimberley Ann,
00:02:13Jonathan Martin,
00:02:15Thank you for fidget.
00:02:33Who hacked,
00:02:34who hacked,
00:02:36Mr ganel Al Quesvili,
00:02:37Marty ElЯ,
00:02:39next time
00:03:10Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
00:03:14You're going to be late for school again.
00:03:17Do you intend never to graduate?
00:03:19Hmm.
00:03:27Where'd she get it?
00:03:28My cousin of Southern Method has sent it to me.
00:03:30How long can we keep it?
00:03:31As long as we want. He says we're sexually ignorant.
00:03:33I guess we'll see.
00:03:34Yeah.
00:03:36Hey, you guys! Will you see what we got?
00:03:38Hey, hold on. Pee-wee's telling us about his dreams.
00:03:40So then she takes out this kazoombie.
00:03:41Kazoombie? What's that?
00:03:43You know, you know, num-nums, choo-choo's, tits.
00:03:46You know, she flashes at me right in the middle of the graduation ceremony.
00:03:49The biggest kazoombie I ever saw.
00:03:50This girl was practically deformed.
00:03:52Then Carter steps in my gown,
00:03:54and the whole graduating class is looking at my wiener.
00:03:56They'd need magnifying glasses to see your wiener.
00:03:59It's more like a wienerette.
00:04:00Oh, yeah? Well, when they saw it, I got a standing ovation.
00:04:02They were standing to get a better look.
00:04:03Well, at least I had something they wanted to see, Wendy.
00:04:06Well, we've got something you'll all want to see.
00:04:08A stag film.
00:04:10A real stag film?
00:04:12You're too young, Pee-wee.
00:04:13They drove us stunted enough.
00:04:14Come on, meet. You gotta let me see it. You gotta...
00:04:16Well, I don't know, Pee-wee.
00:04:18This has got more beaver in it than the entire state of Wisconsin.
00:04:21They say you can go blind for looking at stuff like that.
00:04:23No, the only way you'll go blind is by looking at it like that.
00:04:26Yeah, well, you got any better ideas?
00:04:28Well, I am the president of the audio-visual club.
00:04:54Hey, guys, what's he doing to her now?
00:04:56Hey, it looks like he's trying to take her temperature.
00:04:59Yeah, without a thermometer?
00:05:01Oh, I'm sure he'll take her something.
00:05:03Oh, shit.
00:05:05Look familiar, guys?
00:05:07Yeah, it looks like your entire arm.
00:05:09Matt, that's disgusting.
00:05:11Hey, you're talking like you.
00:05:15Close the door, Pekka-Brett. The light's coming in.
00:05:17Decency demands that the culprit be thrown out of school.
00:05:29These pupils don't deserve to graduate.
00:05:32They're sick.
00:05:33They're perverted.
00:05:35Ha-ha!
00:05:35They're retarded.
00:05:36Mr. Carter.
00:05:40Mr. Carter, I demand to know what you intend to do about this.
00:05:46Mr. Carter!
00:05:47Oh, yes, this is awful.
00:05:51Awful.
00:05:51Especially the woman with the big teeth.
00:05:54With the big teeth.
00:05:55I am ashamed at each and every one of you.
00:06:03What have you got to say for yourselves?
00:06:05Maybe you better explain to them what will happen
00:06:10if the culprit who's responsible for the schlock film
00:06:15doesn't step forward.
00:06:17Yes, certainly.
00:06:20What will happen?
00:06:22Expulsion for all of them.
00:06:24Right, right.
00:06:26Who is responsible?
00:06:35Mr. Carter, I brought it in.
00:06:39But I don't think that the film can be fairly judged
00:06:42without viewing it in its entirety.
00:06:46How's that?
00:06:47He means, it's true, there is some nudity.
00:06:50Some nudity.
00:06:51But I can assure you,
00:06:53before the principal performers disrobed,
00:06:56they were fully clothed.
00:06:57That's right.
00:06:58It's art.
00:06:59It's filth.
00:07:00Disgusting, naked filth.
00:07:03Miss Belbricker, if I may be so bold
00:07:05that your characterization...
00:07:07They all had boners!
00:07:10Mr. Carter, I will not stand here
00:07:12and be accused of having a boner.
00:07:14This particular film
00:07:15was directed by the infamous Sven.
00:07:21Sven Splinken from Sweden.
00:07:23Sven Splinken from Sweden.
00:07:26It's trash, garbage, gunk.
00:07:29We're late for class.
00:07:31Oh, yes, yes, good idea.
00:07:33I'll go back to your classes.
00:07:37Except McCarty and Turner.
00:07:41I haven't finished with you two yet.
00:07:44Good luck, guys.
00:07:46When can we arrange a screening?
00:07:51I'll have to check the schedule
00:07:52because the projectors are sort of tied up
00:07:55for the safety films.
00:07:56The safety films?
00:07:57You know, when you go to cross the street
00:08:02Watch out where you put your feet
00:08:05Look both ways and be alert
00:08:08If a car hits you, it's gonna hurt
00:08:11Safety, safety
00:08:14It's a safe, safe way to be
00:08:17Come on, guys, pick it up
00:08:29There's too much gloom around here
00:08:31Are you kidding?
00:08:31They're kicking our asses out
00:08:33The Angel Beach hasn't been the state finals
00:08:35in over 20 years
00:08:36Maybe it's because your cheers are crying
00:08:37Why don't you get some new ones here?
00:08:39What's wrong with our cheers?
00:08:40Apparently they're not working
00:08:42If you really want to help us
00:08:44Why don't you throw a victory party after the game?
00:08:47Okay, if you win, you got it
00:08:49And we're not talking about a milk and cookies party
00:08:52We want an orgy
00:08:53Orgy?
00:08:55Yeah, I think Tommy has a point here
00:08:57That's what the Roman women did for the gladiators
00:08:59after a big battle
00:09:00They threw a victory orgy
00:09:02Forget it
00:09:03No way
00:09:04What do you think?
00:09:10I'm with you
00:09:11I'm in
00:09:12It's worth a shot
00:09:13The slumber party cheer
00:09:14Change the words
00:09:15Let's do it
00:09:16All right, let's go
00:09:18No, not you
00:09:19Go on home
00:09:22Hey, Angel Beach, strong and hearty
00:09:34Win the game, have a party
00:09:36We decided you were right
00:09:39Put it in the basket, fight, fight, fight
00:09:41Throw in women, give in, in, in
00:09:44Use your balls and win, win, win
00:09:46Join the basket, fight, fight, fight
00:10:04And win the basket, play in women
00:10:04Go!
00:10:05Go!
00:10:05Go!
00:10:06Go!
00:10:07Go!
00:10:08Go!
00:10:08Go!
00:10:09Go!
00:10:10Go!
00:10:10Go!
00:10:12Go!
00:10:12Go!
00:10:13The game is tied at 7.
00:10:3447 seconds left to the side.
00:10:36Who goes to the state championship?
00:10:43The game is tied at 7.
00:11:13Number 4, Edward Morris, replaced the clincher for Angel B.
00:11:34Angel B. twins, they're on the way to the state championship.
00:11:43Meet, meet, did you see the girl in the fourth row?
00:11:57Beautiful, blonde all over.
00:11:59I sang it.
00:12:00She's a Swedish foreign exchange student.
00:12:01That's the girl in my dream.
00:12:05Buddy, your motor's running.
00:12:07Why don't you save it for the horse?
00:12:08Good game, coach.
00:12:13What are you guys doing here?
00:12:15You shouldn't be on school grounds.
00:12:17Yeah, what are you going to do?
00:12:18Give us detention?
00:12:20Look, I don't exactly have all the money right now.
00:12:23I'll talk to Porky.
00:12:25I can get the rest of the money in about a month or so.
00:12:27Now look, you's the one that come into Porky's.
00:12:30You's the one that got drunk.
00:12:32Now we asked you not to gamble.
00:12:33I know, I got carried away.
00:12:35You'll get carried away again.
00:12:38Peace.
00:12:49You heard it all, huh?
00:12:53Not that word.
00:12:54So, uh, when is this orgy supposed to begin?
00:13:10As soon as my parents leave.
00:13:12They just want to say hello.
00:13:13They're not going to stay very long.
00:13:15Neither are we.
00:13:18Well, I guess we got to be going.
00:13:20Sorry, we got to have dinner with the Franklins.
00:13:26Oh, well, listen, if it's that important, I mean...
00:13:30Have a great day.
00:13:31Have a great day.
00:13:34Bye.
00:13:36Drive fast.
00:13:40Well, ladies, let's go.
00:13:46Let's orgy.
00:13:47Let's get it on.
00:13:48Hell no, let's get it on.
00:13:50Hold it.
00:13:51What?
00:13:52What's this?
00:13:52Now, you line up like good little Roman soldiers.
00:13:56Pay attention.
00:13:57Follow the rules.
00:13:59First, we all get undressed.
00:14:06They're taking it off.
00:14:07Let's go, gentlemen.
00:14:09They're going to get laid.
00:14:10They're going to get laid.
00:14:11Don't get scared.
00:14:12It's amazing that my fertile mind has come up.
00:14:14I can't believe they're going to go through it.
00:14:16We're going to get laid.
00:14:17Well, Billy, you'll finally get to see your girl naked.
00:14:20She's not bad either.
00:14:21Oh, very funny.
00:14:23Hey, hey, hey.
00:14:24Come on.
00:14:24Let's pull.
00:14:25Last one in is last one in.
00:14:28Roman soldiers in the defense.
00:14:30Woo-hoo.
00:14:31You guys.
00:14:32Weren't you tired?
00:14:33Ah!
00:14:33Ah!
00:14:33Ah!
00:14:33Ah!
00:14:33Ah!
00:14:34Ah!
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00:15:00Ah!
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00:15:04Ah!
00:15:05Ah!
00:15:06Ah!
00:15:07Ah!
00:15:08Ah!
00:15:09Ah!
00:15:10What's the matter with you?
00:15:21Here it's one.
00:15:29Okay, soldiers, get them off.
00:15:32We've got to get them off.
00:15:33We've got to get them off.
00:15:40On the Roman army, there were gladiators, slaves, horsemen, and cannoneers.
00:15:47Cannoneer, I'm definitely a cannoneer.
00:15:50And eunuchs.
00:15:52What's a eunuch?
00:15:53It's a guy with no balls.
00:15:55I'm a horseman!
00:15:56You start swimming toward us.
00:15:58Make it graceful.
00:16:00Come to your ladies' heroes.
00:16:03Just make it graceful.
00:16:05And what about your cannoneer?
00:16:06Oh, get it off!
00:16:09I'm the cannoneer.
00:16:10What are you guys going to do, living here or what?
00:16:23Back to the G-Fans!
00:16:24Okay, who wants to get dressed first?
00:16:40Come on, come and get it.
00:16:43Here, boy.
00:16:44Here, boy.
00:16:44What are you doing?
00:16:49We're going to make a movie.
00:16:51Yeah, yeah, a movie?
00:16:53Well, Meath, we're naked in a pool.
00:16:55Would you please go get our clothes?
00:16:56No way, man.
00:16:57If they're making a movie, I've got to be the main attraction.
00:16:59Meath's right.
00:17:00Be where you go.
00:17:01You're the short subject.
00:17:02Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:17:04I'm naked, treading water in a pool.
00:17:06You're making jokes.
00:17:07Jokes?
00:17:08Yeah, yeah.
00:17:08Go find a plug for the lights.
00:17:11Yeah, yeah, plug.
00:17:14Okay, you guys, quit stalling.
00:17:16Who's going to be first?
00:17:18What the hell?
00:17:19I always wanted to be a star.
00:17:21No, he's not going to do it.
00:17:24He is going to do it.
00:17:33We thought we'd come back early to join us.
00:17:36It was the most humiliating experience of my life.
00:17:39I mean, it wasn't bad enough.
00:17:40We're running around the pool, bare-assed,
00:17:42with our Winky slopping in the breeze.
00:17:44You decide you're going to go out and breed your folks.
00:17:46Bare-ass naked.
00:17:47I had a good time.
00:17:47Really good idea.
00:17:48I had a good prep, too.
00:17:49I liked it.
00:17:49I don't care.
00:17:49Oh, I'm glad you guys like it.
00:17:51You love running around talking with your friends.
00:17:53You know what?
00:17:53I'm watching the road.
00:17:54Well, you're not watching the road.
00:17:55What do you got angry with me?
00:17:56I didn't even want to talk about it.
00:17:57A lot nicer without her hanging out with you bitterly.
00:18:00My mom's going to kill me when she finds you.
00:18:02Don't worry about it.
00:18:02I'm trying to show you guys a good time.
00:18:04What are your mom doing so different about it?
00:18:05I don't think you're in my league.
00:18:07I'm going to start hanging out with myself.
00:18:09Well, you hang out with yourself a lot by the looks of it.
00:18:11And you know what?
00:18:12You're pissed off.
00:18:13You're pissed off because you didn't get to be a cannoneer.
00:18:16When we went there, you thought it was going to work.
00:18:18Everything was fine, and now you were throwing out of the pool.
00:18:22Hey, you had your hand on my ass.
00:18:23That's why.
00:18:24I couldn't avoid it.
00:18:25Hey, slow down.
00:18:26There's Brian.
00:18:27Hey, Brian.
00:18:29Whoa.
00:18:34What the hell happened to you?
00:18:35Yeah.
00:18:35Aren't you a little bit late for the orgy?
00:18:38We've got something important to do.
00:18:39Why don't you pick me up?
00:18:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:44Brian's born in oil.
00:18:48So, how was your orgy?
00:18:57Why weren't you there?
00:18:58Yeah.
00:19:00Uh-oh.
00:19:01Going wrong.
00:19:02No orgy, huh?
00:19:04Well, there was a tender moment with Connie's parents.
00:19:07It was.
00:19:08Come on, drive.
00:19:10Where are we going?
00:19:11Porky's.
00:19:12Porky's?
00:19:13Where are we going to Porky's?
00:19:14Oh, no, no way, Brian.
00:19:15Look, Coach Goodenough's in trouble.
00:19:17What are you talking about?
00:19:19The coach is a good guy.
00:19:20He's helped us out a lot of times.
00:19:21Now I think it's our turn to help him out.
00:19:23Well, I agree with that.
00:19:24But we go to Porky's, and then what do we do when we get there?
00:19:28It's easy.
00:19:28We shoot pictures of his illegal gambling casino, and then we take him to the DA.
00:19:33Oh, come on.
00:19:34Porky ain't going to let us anywhere near his place.
00:19:35Meat, if you remember, we didn't exactly have a written invitation the last time we called.
00:20:02Great body.
00:20:03Look at that ass.
00:20:04I could lick her waist.
00:20:05No, you don't lick a waist.
00:20:07It's not one of the designated areas.
00:20:13How you doing, babe?
00:20:18Hmm?
00:20:19Oh.
00:20:21Hey, Meat, see you later.
00:20:23Come on, man.
00:20:25Come on, man.
00:20:28Hi.
00:20:30Hi, I'm Blossom.
00:20:32Why do they call you Meat?
00:20:34I don't want to be inside.
00:20:37What do they call you?
00:20:38I don't want to be inside.
00:20:39Boy.
00:20:39Whoo-hoo!
00:21:09What happened?
00:21:11We happened.
00:21:13I guess he hasn't fixed it up since our last visit.
00:21:15He must have.
00:21:17I mean, I heard the coach say he was there.
00:21:23Whoo-hoo!
00:21:25Whoo-hoo!
00:21:27Whoo-hoo!
00:21:29Whoo-hoo!
00:21:31Whoo-hoo!
00:21:33Whoo-hoo!
00:21:35Whoo-hoo!
00:21:37Whoo-hoo-hoo!
00:21:39Whoo-hoo-hoo!
00:21:41Whoo-hoo-hoo!
00:21:43Sir?
00:21:45You are!
00:21:47Whoo-hoo-hoo!
00:21:57Unbelievable.
00:21:59That son of a bitch got a boat.
00:22:07What do we do now?
00:22:09Let's go.
00:22:11Where are we going?
00:22:13He's got a dock somewhere.
00:22:15Well, yeah, well, what do we do when we get there?
00:22:17Let's just get there.
00:22:19Unbelievable.
00:22:21Unbelievable.
00:22:31You've got to here.
00:22:33Thank you all!
00:22:34We did, we're full!
00:22:36We did, we did.
00:22:37We did to our best friend who's the one who was on fault.
00:22:39I didn't tell him what we could.
00:22:40He's the only one who was on fault.
00:22:41He's the only one who was on fault.
00:22:42He told me he was on fault.
00:22:44That didn't kill me.
00:22:45We have to kill him.
00:22:46We killed him.
00:22:47We killed him.
00:22:48We killed him.
00:22:49Sam, you drink that damn stuff faster than they can make it, you fool.
00:23:14Mr. Johnson, sure, I'm glad you won all that money tonight. Thank you for the tips.
00:23:25Bernie, move your ass. Don't get in the way of a high bar.
00:23:27I almost forgot what a mean son of a bitch he is.
00:23:31Hey, Bob, come on back and see you. Take care of me.
00:23:35You get your ass inside. I want to go.
00:23:38Come on, knock it off, will you?
00:23:50Come on, keep your hands off me. Be a nice girl.
00:23:52Get away from the wheel. Leave me alone for God's sake.
00:23:56You know you guys are morons.
00:23:58Shh. I don't want to shush.
00:24:00Hey, keep this down, huh? Look where you are.
00:24:03It's just a little joke. A little joke?
00:24:05She practically raped me, man. She said she was going to leave me out there on the highway
00:24:08unless I promise to show her why they call me me.
00:24:10Shh.
00:24:11Are you still talking? You think this is funny, right? Huh?
00:24:16Hey, look, you. Come on, get out of my car.
00:24:18Okay, guys, enough, enough. Look, we still got to find a way to get onto this boat.
00:24:22Hi, Daddy!
00:24:25Hi, baby. Blossom, you have a good time tonight, child?
00:24:29Yes, I did, Daddy.
00:24:32Is that Porky's daughter?
00:24:34That's it. What's it?
00:24:40Me, do you know how to use a camera? For what?
00:24:43Because you've got to take this and go with that girl into the casino
00:24:46and take a few photos of the layout.
00:24:49Wait, wait, wait.
00:24:51She's going to let me go into her old man's illegal casino to take pictures?
00:24:55What, are you nuts?
00:24:56Well, you have to, um, distract her.
00:25:02Distract her with what?
00:25:04My friend, there comes a time in every man's life where he must rise to the occasion.
00:25:09Aw, come on, man.
00:25:10And there's no one on a child.
00:25:12Aw, no, no, no, no, no.
00:25:14Every time you guys get a wild hair up your ass, I gotta go stick my neck out, you know?
00:25:18Come on, please, not my pants.
00:25:19Mom.
00:25:20Mom!
00:25:21Not my pants!
00:25:22Oh, come on, come on, please, not my pants!
00:25:23Mom, Dad, come on, Mom!
00:25:24Oh, come on. Come on, please. Not my pants.
00:25:27Not my pants.
00:25:28Come on.
00:25:45Stop it. Please. Huh?
00:25:46Come on, will you get off of me?
00:25:48I want to ride you, jungle beast.
00:25:50Hey, come on. Please.
00:25:51Get off my shorts.
00:25:52Get it. Come on. Leave me alone.
00:25:54Oh, shit.
00:25:56Hey.
00:25:57Cut it out.
00:26:01What's going on?
00:26:03Well, Meat's doing pretty great up there.
00:26:04Are you sure?
00:26:05Yeah, he's doing terrific.
00:26:07Yeah, he's getting a lot of pictures.
00:26:09Okay, boys, what the hell are you doing here?
00:26:11This is private property.
00:26:19What the fuck do you all think you're doing?
00:26:21Oh, I was, I was, and we were, uh...
00:26:23You was trespassing, boy.
00:26:25According to the law, I could shoot...
00:26:29Great galloping, gobs of ghost shit.
00:26:32Your little bastards are ruining my place.
00:26:35Well, I'm glad to see you back, boys.
00:26:37Because now I'm going to ruin you for good.
00:26:40Wait a minute.
00:26:40Uh, look.
00:26:42You really don't want to do this.
00:26:43I don't, huh?
00:26:46Porky, do you really think we came all, all this way down here to see you without, without
00:26:50a good reason?
00:26:51I mean, we knew we were risking our lives.
00:26:52At least give us a chance to talk to you.
00:26:55You better talk fast, boy.
00:26:57Because I've been wanting to find you kids for one hell of a long time.
00:27:00Look, uh, do you think we could, uh, go ashore and talk?
00:27:04This is kind of complicated business.
00:27:06Yes, we'd like to talk business.
00:27:08Business.
00:27:10Business.
00:27:13Kill the little fuckers.
00:27:14Do the word state championship mean anything to you?
00:27:17Yeah, it does.
00:27:20All right.
00:27:22Let's go into my bar.
00:27:23Maybe we can talk something.
00:27:24How, how, how, how, how?
00:27:25Get in there, god damn.
00:27:27Don't argue with me.
00:27:28Where are you?
00:27:30What are you doing?
00:27:31How are my pants?
00:27:33This ain't funny here.
00:27:34Where's my pants?
00:27:36What the hell are you doing?
00:27:37Here, big boy.
00:27:39Now, what is this bullshit about the state championship, boy?
00:27:43Yeah, uh, state championship.
00:27:44That's, that's what we were talking about, wasn't it?
00:27:49Tommy, why don't you explain what we mean when we, we say state championship?
00:27:53Oh, right.
00:27:57Uh, Billy, I think you're probably better at this sort of thing.
00:28:02Uh-huh.
00:28:04No, thank you, sir.
00:28:05I don't drink.
00:28:06Hey, I don't do business with pussies.
00:28:08Drink up.
00:28:10Drink.
00:28:11You.
00:28:13Uh.
00:28:13You know what you're saying?
00:28:15Say funny, man, there's somebody downstairs.
00:28:18You gotta get dressed and get out of here.
00:28:20Come on, big boy, ride me.
00:28:23Yeah, come on, ride me.
00:28:26Yes.
00:28:27Yes.
00:28:28Yes.
00:28:29Yes.
00:28:30Yes.
00:28:31You're gonna throw the state championship?
00:28:34Bullshit.
00:28:35Have our word out of it.
00:28:36Yes.
00:28:37Yes.
00:28:37Yes.
00:28:39Yes.
00:28:39Yes.
00:28:40Yes.
00:28:40Yes.
00:28:41We told Porky we'd throw the game, right?
00:28:47So the coach is off the hook and now it's our asses, right?
00:28:52I don't believe it.
00:28:54Four years of practice, we finally get to the state championship and we gotta lose.
00:28:59Look, I mean, we at least got the coach out of trouble, right, guys?
00:29:02Yeah, ourselves into it.
00:29:04Hey, what's life all about?
00:29:06Living.
00:29:07It's definitely about living.
00:29:08Yeah.
00:29:09Well, I ain't throwing no game.
00:29:10Hey, that's it.
00:29:15Of course.
00:29:16It's so simple.
00:29:18All we have to do is win that game.
00:29:21Win?
00:29:21Yeah, sure.
00:29:23And then we're heroes and nobody fucks with heroes.
00:29:26You bought the funny phone.
00:29:28Wait a second.
00:29:28I like his idea.
00:29:29Look, if we hold a press conference after we win the game and announce that certain unscrupulous
00:29:37elements wanted us to throw that game, nobody will be able to touch us.
00:29:42We'll be a shining example of good, clean American youth.
00:29:47Us?
00:29:47Yeah.
00:29:48We believe in mom, apple pie, and the American flag, right?
00:29:51Yeah.
00:29:51People eat that stuff up.
00:29:52Including me.
00:29:53Especially the part about winning games.
00:29:55Well, Angel Beach games?
00:29:57Yeah!
00:29:58Yeah!
00:29:59You may notice the pericardium, which is that little sack around the heart.
00:30:04Once you find it, be...
00:30:10Mr. Tuparello, you have not made your dorsal incision.
00:30:15I don't feel so hot.
00:30:17Make the incision.
00:30:24I can't.
00:30:26Here is your scalpel.
00:30:28Now cut.
00:30:28You expect me to believe that the captain of the basketball team would faint at the sight of a mere frog?
00:30:56It wasn't just a frog, it was a dead frog.
00:30:59She wanted me to cut the thing open.
00:31:00She hates me.
00:31:01Miss Webster is one of the finest, most dedicated teachers in this school.
00:31:05She wants you to get the best education possible, if that's possible.
00:31:09Even.
00:31:10Now get this, Tuparello.
00:31:11Even if it means giving up all extracurricular activities.
00:31:14I'll do anything as long as I can play basketball.
00:31:17I was talking about basketball.
00:31:25I can't give a plan.
00:31:26We're going to the state championships.
00:31:28Fail your biology exam, and the team will have to win without you.
00:31:33Miss Webster's recommended that you not be allowed to play basketball unless you get a passing grade on her biology exam,
00:31:40and I'm backing her up on that 100%.
00:31:44Get the hell out of here!
00:31:47Get the hell out of here!
00:31:47Get the hell out of here!
00:32:06Got it covered.
00:32:09Come on.
00:32:19What's the problem, buddy?
00:32:24Door won't open.
00:32:25Try the knob.
00:32:26Nice work.
00:32:27Come on.
00:32:34Okay.
00:32:35Spread out.
00:32:36Search the drawers, the shelves, everywhere.
00:32:39Hey, Meat, what's the exam look like?
00:32:48It's furry.
00:32:49It's got balls.
00:32:50It's big.
00:32:51What the hell do you think a biology exam looks like?
00:32:52I didn't know.
00:32:53I'm not in your class.
00:32:54Hey, Meat.
00:32:57Human brain.
00:32:58You could use one, huh?
00:33:06Hey, Meat, you okay?
00:33:08Meat?
00:33:09Meat.
00:33:10Meat.
00:33:11Let's get some air.
00:33:12Come on.
00:33:13Over here.
00:33:14Chief, who's out?
00:33:19You okay?
00:33:20Come on, Meat.
00:33:21Meat.
00:33:22Meat.
00:33:23It's just a brain.
00:33:24You're not helping.
00:33:25I can't find the dang test anywhere.
00:33:27Maybe it's in her apartment.
00:33:29You're crazy.
00:33:30We're gonna break into Miss Webster's apartment and steal an exam?
00:33:38Think about this, Tommy.
00:33:40If we get caught, we could get sent to jail.
00:33:42Think about this.
00:33:44If Meat doesn't pass a biology exam, we can kiss the state championship goodbye.
00:33:50Okay.
00:33:51Come on.
00:33:52Come on.
00:33:53Come on.
00:33:54Come on.
00:33:55Yeah.
00:34:00Okay.
00:34:02Come on.
00:34:03whoa not bad some joint let's just hurry up get the test get the hell out of here okay guys
00:34:25hey maybe better check that desk yeah check the desk yeah check the desk
00:34:29oh hey guys come here quick look you can see my grandma's apartment here she's dusting her
00:34:45furniture oh this must be our lucky day maybe we can watch her give her cat a flea bath my grandmother
00:34:50doesn't have a cat oh but if she's in your family i bet she has fleas you guys cut it out we got to
00:34:55get back to work
00:34:56oh that was a lovely dinner
00:35:26great pop and the service was extraordinary and the ambience and the music
00:35:33you know that anthony tuparillo really is a dumb son of a bitch he's gonna win the state championship
00:35:54for us we need him need i don't need him throwing frogs down my blouse he's just a kid he's no kid
00:36:01okay he's a dumb son of a bitch
00:36:04what'll it be tonight
00:36:13i could be the southern bartender
00:36:17and you can be the impotent alcoholic monk that just escaped from the monastery
00:36:24what'll it be
00:36:31what'll it be
00:36:39what'll it be
00:36:53what'll it be
00:36:53what'll it be
00:36:57i don't know i'm i'm i'm not much of a drinker
00:37:00You don't look like you're much of anything to me.
00:37:04I know.
00:37:05That's what they tell me about the monastery.
00:37:09How about some Benedictine?
00:37:12Sure.
00:37:13You're the boss.
00:37:15Isn't that what they drink at the monastery?
00:37:19On the rocks.
00:37:21On the rocks.
00:37:30How come you left the monastery?
00:38:00I guess because I always wondered what it would be like to say to you.
00:38:06Say it, little boy.
00:38:07It's the old press.
00:38:22Cough.
00:38:30Cough.
00:38:31Cough.
00:38:32Cough.
00:38:33Cough.
00:38:34Cough.
00:38:35Cough.
00:38:36Cough.
00:38:37Cough.
00:38:38Cough.
00:38:39Cough.
00:38:40Cough.
00:38:41Cough.
00:38:42Cough.
00:38:43Cough.
00:38:44Cough.
00:38:45Cough.
00:38:46Cough.
00:38:47Cough.
00:38:48Cough.
00:38:49Cough.
00:38:50Cough.
00:38:51Cough.
00:38:52Cough.
00:38:53Cough.
00:38:54Cough.
00:38:55Cough.
00:38:56Cough.
00:38:57Cough.
00:38:58Cough.
00:38:59Cough.
00:39:00Cough.
00:39:01Cough.
00:39:02Cough.
00:39:03Cough.
00:39:04Cough.
00:39:05Cough.
00:39:06Cough.
00:39:07Cough.
00:39:08Cough.
00:39:10Cough.
00:39:11Now I know how she affords this apartment!
00:39:18Come on. Come over here.
00:39:29Where?
00:39:31Oh, Billy, when can I view the Slinkin film?
00:39:35Is Slinkin, the Swedish director, remember you said you'd arrange a screening?
00:39:39Oh, right, right, yes. You're really gonna love it, sir.
00:39:42There's this man in black socks and a mask.
00:39:45He represents the loneliness of the Hungarian peasants.
00:39:48Oh, that's very interesting.
00:39:50I'll schedule the film just as soon as we stop running those personal hygiene films.
00:39:54The hygiene films?
00:39:55You know, take a bath every day, let your odor float away.
00:40:01Hygiene means we all keep clean.
00:40:04See what I mean?
00:40:06Take a bath every day, let your odor float away.
00:40:10Keep clean, Billy.
00:40:13Yes.
00:40:15I'm telling you, come on, keep it alone.
00:40:16Couldn't believe it.
00:40:17I'm sitting, I'm looking through this keyhole.
00:40:18I have this incredible view, right?
00:40:19Guys, I'm telling you, these two are hot.
00:40:21They're really hot.
00:40:22Dobish and Miss Webster?
00:40:24I can't believe it.
00:40:25Then what happened?
00:40:26I don't know.
00:40:27I had to leave when they started singing Mac the night.
00:40:28Pee Wee says Dobish and Miss Webster are going at it again in her apartment tonight.
00:40:32So?
00:40:33We might be able to get some photographs of them.
00:40:36Perfect blackmail material.
00:40:38Forget it.
00:40:39We blew it last time with your stupid camera.
00:40:41Look, I'll take the photographs this time.
00:40:43I'll even rent a better camera with some telephoto lenses.
00:40:45Well, how do we get the shots?
00:40:47Easy.
00:40:48Pee Wee's grandmother was right across the street.
00:40:51Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:40:52Time out, Brian.
00:40:53Come on, let's leave my grandmother out of this.
00:40:55Pee Wee.
00:40:57If you let us use your grandmother's apartment, I'll give you your own private personal collection
00:41:02of photographs of Dobish and Miss Webster, including Mac the night.
00:41:07So what time do I tell her to expect us?
00:41:10I can't wait to share this recipe with my mother.
00:41:13I wish I had a grandmother just like you.
00:41:15Thank you, boys.
00:41:17I sure do appreciate your help.
00:41:19Oh, it's our pleasure, Grandma.
00:41:20To be in the company of such a gracious, charming, attractive woman is a joy.
00:41:24Yes, and to allow us into your kitchen and teach us all your great culinary secrets.
00:41:29My husband, Fat Harry May, rest in peace, always used to tell me, never shit, never shit.
00:41:36He has his teeth.
00:41:38You know, he was such a greedy dude.
00:41:40Pee Wee got a great grandma.
00:41:44Isn't she great?
00:41:45One of a kind.
00:41:46Work of art.
00:41:47Yeah.
00:41:48Made her and threw away the mold.
00:41:51Oh, Edward, where'd you ever find these slick boys?
00:41:54Did you just meet them?
00:41:55Uh, no, Grandma.
00:41:56We've been friends for a long time.
00:41:58Well, how come you never told me about it?
00:42:01Well, I've been busy.
00:42:03Never say you're too busy to visit your grandmother.
00:42:08Now eat your soup.
00:42:10I already broke the bread for you.
00:42:13You sure you know how to work these things?
00:42:18Yeah.
00:42:19You know, you're, uh, typically complicated.
00:42:22It's so simple a child could use them.
00:42:24Yeah, I don't mean that as an insult me.
00:42:27It's anything you'll watch stupid pictures, huh?
00:42:29Okay.
00:42:30Tell me again about that boy at the window with the camera.
00:42:34Um, you see, he's studying photography, and he needs these pictures for his term paper.
00:42:39And it's only from my window that he should get such pictures.
00:42:44You have a great view.
00:42:46The perfect angle.
00:42:59Hey, could you excuse us a second, Grandma?
00:43:00Yeah, we'll be right back.
00:43:02You hungry?
00:43:05I'm always hungry.
00:43:06He's always hungry, Grandma.
00:43:07You want to eat?
00:43:08Yeah.
00:43:09Ooh.
00:43:10It's funny, buddy.
00:43:11Yeah, Grandma's funny.
00:43:13You just hit pay dirt.
00:43:15Oh, look at that.
00:43:17Were you kidding?
00:43:18Were you kidding?
00:43:19Were you kidding?
00:43:20Was you kidding?
00:43:30I'm kidding.
00:43:31I'm getting it all.
00:43:33Magda Knife?
00:43:34You got a chain?
00:43:36You got a nine tails?
00:43:38What are they doing?
00:43:41Whipping up me to 4.0 grade average.
00:43:44Do you want to dance and hold my hand?
00:44:04Tell me, Kitty, if you're a loving man, oh baby, do you want to dance?
00:44:14Hey, here's a picture of my mom in the drama club.
00:44:24I thought he sure dressed funny then, didn't he?
00:44:27There's ball records.
00:44:30Look, you're a ball record.
00:44:32There is a debating team, arts and crafts, and wrestling.
00:44:38Bubbles may be the captain of the girls' wrestling team,
00:44:41but Snooki Kelton is the one she'd most like fumbling around with.
00:44:46They call it Balbricker Bubbles?
00:44:49Let's see what old Snooki looks like.
00:44:52He is Sam Snooki Kelton.
00:44:55You know, I wonder what would happen if we got old Bubbles and Snooki back together again.
00:45:00He just gave me a wonderful idea.
00:45:04You guys hungry?
00:45:05Yeah, let's hit dead boots.
00:45:12My dearest, darling, Bubbles.
00:45:21It's been so long since I've felt your grip.
00:45:31Oh!
00:45:32Oh!
00:45:33Oh!
00:45:53Oh!
00:45:55Oh!
00:45:56Oh!
00:45:57Oh!
00:45:59Oh!
00:45:59Hey, you little devil. You latched on to that Inga, huh?
00:46:17Told you it's not the size of the dog. It's how hard he bites.
00:46:20Tommy, you're not going to believe this. It's great. I can't wait. It's incredible. I can't believe it.
00:46:24She's meeting the motel room. I can't believe it.
00:46:27I can't believe it.
00:46:27Believe it. I mean, the girl must have recognized that I'm into my prime.
00:46:30Yeah, I mean, you know, she's Swedish. They have knowledge.
00:46:34You say she's going to meet you in the Moonbeam Motel, room 48?
00:46:38Naked and ready.
00:46:39Oh, hey, hey, easy, easy.
00:46:41Naked and ready.
00:46:43Jeez.
00:46:47You going to go dressed like that?
00:46:50Yeah, what's wrong with the way I look?
00:46:52Varinga? From a foreign country with the great Kazumbis?
00:46:55Your old man got a tux?
00:47:00A tuxy?
00:47:00Well, yeah. Why?
00:47:02Why don't you get it?
00:47:04You show up, all distinguished, tuxedo, nice big bow tie.
00:47:08She'll like it.
00:47:10Thanks, Tommy.
00:47:10No, don't take flowers and candy.
00:47:13Show up like a man.
00:47:15A man.
00:47:16Yeah.
00:47:16Thanks, Tommy.
00:47:26Oh, great.
00:47:27Lucky us.
00:47:29Hello, boys.
00:47:30What's going on, ladies?
00:47:31How about all Ballbricker in the raw, in a motel room, waiting for her true love?
00:47:37You know what that's supposed to mean?
00:47:40Ballbricker sent this reply to the post office box I assigned to Snooki Kelton.
00:47:45She wrote,
00:47:46Dear Snooki, after all these years and after all that's happened, it was wonderful hearing from you again.
00:47:52I would love to see you whenever and wherever you want.
00:47:56Just name the time and the place, impatiently yours, Bubbles.
00:48:02I named the time and the place.
00:48:05She's going to show up?
00:48:07The Moonbeam Motel, right about now.
00:48:10But not with Snooki.
00:48:12Who with?
00:48:13Pee-wee.
00:48:36All right, let's keep her down.
00:48:38Here he comes.
00:48:43Come in.
00:48:58Oh.
00:49:04Is that you, darling?
00:49:05Oh, Charlie.
00:49:27Hurry.
00:49:29Hurry, please.
00:49:30Please.
00:49:31Oh.
00:49:33Oh.
00:49:33I love this.
00:49:43Wish we had a program.
00:49:45Here, come the girls.
00:49:49I can't wait.
00:49:50Are we going to kiss him back?
00:49:52Yep.
00:49:52Great.
00:49:53Oh, candy.
00:49:58It tastes like butter.
00:50:00Ah.
00:50:01All right.
00:50:05Yeah.
00:50:06Yeah.
00:50:07Yeah!
00:50:08Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:50:09Ha, ha, ha.
00:50:11Ha, ha, ha.
00:50:12Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:50:12Ha, ha, ha.
00:50:14Ha, ha, ha.
00:50:14Ha, ha.
00:50:14Ha, ha.
00:50:15Ha, ha.
00:50:17Ha.
00:50:17Ha, ha.
00:50:17Ha, ha.
00:50:18Yeah!
00:50:19What the hell is this?
00:50:23It's Pee-wee.
00:50:25I don't get it.
00:50:29Hi, guys.
00:50:30Uh, what's going on?
00:50:31What are you doing here?
00:50:32What am I doing here?
00:50:33What are you doing here?
00:50:34You're supposed to be in there with Ballbricker.
00:50:36Ballbricker?
00:50:37Well, Jesus, Pee-wee, if you're not in there, who the hell is?
00:50:45Tommy Turner.
00:50:48Oh, God!
00:50:52What, do you think I was made with a finger?
00:50:57Where's your camera when we need it?
00:50:59Oh, God!
00:51:00Oh, God!
00:51:01Oh, Inga!
00:51:04Oh!
00:51:05Snooki!
00:51:06Oh!
00:51:07Snooki!
00:51:08Oh!
00:51:09Oh!
00:51:10Oh!
00:51:11Oh!
00:51:12Oh!
00:51:13Oh!
00:51:14Oh!
00:51:15Oh!
00:51:16Oh!
00:51:17Oh, Inga!
00:51:18Oh!
00:51:19Snooki!
00:51:20Oh!
00:51:23Snooki!
00:51:24Inga!
00:51:25Inga!
00:51:32Aaaaaaah!
00:51:38Shit!
00:51:39Shit!
00:51:41Oh!
00:51:42Oh!
00:51:45Oh!
00:51:46Oh! Oh!
00:51:48God!
00:51:49Oh! Oh!
00:51:51God!
00:51:52What was that?
00:51:54God!
00:51:56Oh! Oh!
00:51:58Oh! Oh!
00:52:00Ah! Ah! Oh!
00:52:02Shh!
00:52:04Oh!
00:52:08I've got you now, you freak!
00:52:12You juvenile obscenity!
00:52:14I've got you now, Tommy Turner!
00:52:16You poor excuse for humanity!
00:52:18You juvenile!
00:52:24Introducing the Angel Leeds Leader!
00:52:32Welcome to the state championship game.
00:52:44I'm gonna break this fucking fingernail.
00:52:50He'd just be having your game at all.
00:52:52Well, it turns out that we didn't need those photographs of Miss Webster after that.
00:52:56Wendy true to me, and I'm pretty sure I've passed.
00:52:58Why didn't you tell him?
00:53:00What are you talking about? I told Billy.
00:53:02He said that he was gonna leave the photograph.
00:53:04No!
00:53:06No, I left him right on Miss Webster's desk.
00:53:18Shoot.
00:53:20He's the hands or happy hands?
00:53:24Cut it out.
00:53:26Son of a bitch.
00:53:28What's the matter, huh?
00:53:30He's got a lot of right answers.
00:53:32That's good.
00:53:34Not as far as I'm concerned.
00:53:36I'm gonna make sure that that Anthony Tuparello doesn't play in that basketball game.
00:53:40Why didn't you tell me the final game is tonight?
00:53:44Everybody knows it's tonight.
00:53:46It's for the state championship.
00:53:50Well, if it's such an important event,
00:53:52why aren't we going?
00:53:54I promised I'd take Sharon and the kids.
00:53:56You're taking your wife to a school function?
00:53:58Darling, it's just for tonight.
00:54:00Don't you, darling! Me, you two-timing pervert!
00:54:02Get out!
00:54:04Out!
00:54:06I never wanna see you again!
00:54:08Out! Out!
00:54:20Howdy, coach.
00:54:22What are you doing here?
00:54:24I don't have the money yet.
00:54:26Hey, don't worry about a thing.
00:54:28That's already been taken care of.
00:54:30I got a bundle riding on this game tonight.
00:54:32You understand me?
00:54:34Well, I hope you bet on Angel Beach.
00:54:36You're a very funny man, coach.
00:54:38Very funny man.
00:54:42Kids are returning to the dressing room for last minute instruction.
00:54:46Tonight, you have the chance to be champions.
00:54:58And if you do that, I'm the coach that got you there.
00:55:00And that's what my life is about.
00:55:02Now, I want you to go out there.
00:55:04Win!
00:55:06Win!
00:55:10Locker room.
00:55:12Coach.
00:55:18Coach, good enough.
00:55:20Oh, Miss Webster, what can I do for you?
00:55:22Hold it, Meat.
00:55:24I can't let you play.
00:55:25Why not?
00:55:26That was Miss Webster.
00:55:27You failed your biology exam.
00:55:28Oh, come on, coach.
00:55:29It's impossible.
00:55:30I know I passed.
00:55:31Come on, you guys.
00:55:32Quit stalling.
00:55:33Get out there and play.
00:55:34Coach, there's no way we can win without Meat.
00:55:35Who's gonna play for Meat?
00:55:36Now, quit stalling.
00:55:37You guys got a game to win.
00:55:38Come on, you guys.
00:55:39Quit stalling.
00:55:40Get out there and play.
00:55:41Coach, there's no way we can win without Meat.
00:55:42Who's gonna play for Meat?
00:55:43Now, quit stalling.
00:55:44You guys got a game to win.
00:56:06If the wish, doesn't even dispatch a game at schon예요.
00:56:10Want that?
00:56:11Can they play for Meat?
00:56:13Let's do it again.
00:56:15Check out what you just saw this game.
00:56:16We shooter and win for Winans.
00:56:33Gotcha!
00:56:34Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!
00:56:40Your daddy's gonna win a bundle on this guy.
00:56:42You having a good time?
00:56:44I'd have a better time if my meat was playing.
00:56:46Say what?
00:56:48I'm happy.
00:57:04Half-time buzzer!
00:57:22The score, Baham and Hornets, 39.
00:57:25The Angel Beach Gators, 19.
00:57:34I thought I told you to get out!
00:57:49If we don't do something about bees, we'll both be out.
00:57:55I know they're bigger and stronger,
00:57:58but if we don't start crashing the boards in the second half,
00:58:01the score of this game's gonna wind up in the Guinness Book of Embarrassing Records.
00:58:05Locker room.
00:58:07Coach.
00:58:12Coach, good enough.
00:58:14And upon closer scrutiny,
00:58:16I discovered that Mr. Tuparello has passed his biology exam.
00:58:21So, should you decide that his participation
00:58:23would enhance your chances at the basketball championship,
00:58:26please feel free to use him.
00:58:31Enjoy.
00:58:34Overallね.
00:58:35With God.
00:58:36I will, thank you.
00:58:37I will...
00:58:38You are my best.
00:58:39I'll help.
00:58:40Did you.
00:58:41I won!
00:58:42You are my best.
00:58:44I will have a better job.
00:58:45I can't do it.
00:58:46You are my best.
00:58:47We have a better job.
00:58:48I will.
00:58:49The champ has given the fortune on theoun.
00:58:50We have a better job.
00:58:52You are my best.
00:58:53I have a better job.
00:58:54I will, I have a better job.
00:58:55I will.
00:58:56So, should I help you?
00:58:57You are my best.
00:58:58I will try.
01:02:19You want him dead or just crippled?
01:02:23I want that bastard married to her.
01:02:27And then with two seconds left, a reserve guard with nerves of steel came to the floor.
01:02:33Edward Pee Wee Morris took the last shot to win the game, proving that this young man has ice water running in his veins.
01:02:42He's gonna love that.
01:02:44He's gonna love that.
01:02:46You know, come and think, where the hell is he?
01:02:48Guys!
01:02:49What's with him?
01:02:50How do I look?
01:02:51You look like he had a rug.
01:02:52Oh, yeah.
01:02:53Well, when Porky comes looking for you guys, just remember who is smart enough to wear a disguise.
01:02:57He's not gonna come looking for us.
01:02:59Uh-uh.
01:03:00Yeah, you made the winning shot.
01:03:01It says so right here in the paper.
01:03:04Oh, shit.
01:03:06It was luck, I'm telling you.
01:03:07It was just luck.
01:03:08The ball landed on my hands.
01:03:09I just threw it up in the air so the Tarman guys wouldn't kill me.
01:03:11I didn't know where the basket was.
01:03:13I swear.
01:03:16Hi, guys.
01:03:19Hi.
01:03:20Did you see who's on the beach?
01:03:23The ball breaker.
01:03:24She's been there all morning.
01:03:28God, I feel awful.
01:03:30What?
01:03:31Look what we did to her.
01:03:32We built up her hopes to see somebody she's been crazy about all these years,
01:03:36and then we zapped her with a sick, practical joke.
01:03:40What do you mean, we?
01:03:42All right, I started it.
01:03:44It's my fault.
01:03:45I feel terrible.
01:03:46Well, how do you think I feel?
01:03:47I was in bed with her.
01:03:49Boy, she looks in pretty bad shape.
01:03:52Well, there's nothing we can do about it now.
01:03:54Yes, there is.
01:03:56We can find Snooki Kelton.
01:03:58What are you nuts?
01:03:59How are you gonna find them?
01:04:00Well, besides, he could be dead already, for all we know.
01:04:03He's alive and living in Miami, and we can be there by this afternoon.
01:04:08I'm so sorry.
01:04:09We're all in business.
01:04:10I'm so sorry.
01:04:11No, that's it.
01:04:13We're all in business.
01:04:14I'm so sorry.
01:04:16Maybe I'm so sorry.
01:04:17We can find some work inside.
01:04:18I'm so sorry, but I can find some work inside.
01:04:20We were all in business just for now.
01:04:23VIOLIN PLAYS
01:04:53Love me tender, love me true
01:05:11Never let me go
01:05:16You have made my life complete
01:05:25And I love you so
01:05:30Love me tender, love me true
01:05:38All my dreams fulfill
01:05:44For my darling, I love you
01:05:52And I always will
01:05:57guitar solo
01:06:04For my darling, I'll love you
01:06:22For my darling, I'll love you
01:06:31Till the end of time
01:06:37This is pure filth
01:06:45Pornographic filth
01:06:47I sat through every
01:06:49Disgusting frame of this film
01:06:52Twice
01:06:53And
01:06:55As a result
01:06:57I am physically ill
01:07:00Mr. Carter
01:07:03Art
01:07:04Is a very subjective phenomenon
01:07:07Can it, Bacardi?
01:07:08You're not gonna pull the wool over my eyes again
01:07:10Now, I have no choice
01:07:13Good morning, everybody
01:07:32I'm so sorry I'm late
01:07:34Oh, no, no, no
01:07:35You're not late at all, Miss Pop
01:07:37About the film
01:07:41Now, you are perfectly right
01:07:42It is the worst piece of pornographic trash
01:07:46That I have ever seen
01:07:47It's raunchy, degrading
01:07:48Beneath the human dignity
01:07:49Come off it, Harold
01:07:52Don't be such a tight-ass
01:07:54He was wrong
01:07:57And he's sorry
01:07:59Aren't you?
01:08:02Aren't you?
01:08:04Uh-huh
01:08:05All right
01:08:08Snooki
01:08:11Snooki
01:08:13Snooki
01:08:15Snooki
01:08:18Mr. Kelton
01:08:22An old friend
01:08:23And
01:08:24Former
01:08:25Alumnus
01:08:26Of
01:08:27Angel Beach High
01:08:28Has
01:08:28Generously
01:08:30Offered to donate
01:08:32His beautiful home
01:08:33And host the party
01:08:35For this year's
01:08:36Senior prom
01:08:37Ha, ha
01:08:39That's great
01:08:40But what about
01:08:41The Splinkin' film?
01:08:43Well
01:08:43I, uh
01:08:44Guess I better be going now
01:08:46And let the seniors know
01:08:47The good news
01:08:47Thank you both so much
01:08:49It's, it's really going to mean a lot to everybody
01:08:51It means a lot to me
01:08:52Uh
01:08:53Wow
01:08:54Gosh
01:08:57Gee
01:08:59Zowie
01:09:01Snooki
01:09:10I'd like you to meet Edward Morris
01:09:25Uh, Edward
01:09:27Have you met our exchange student
01:09:28Yeah
01:09:29Yeah
01:09:30Are you
01:09:30That's great
01:09:31Small
01:09:34Oh look at
01:09:35The nice people
01:09:36Isn't she pretty
01:09:37Huh
01:09:37Huh
01:09:38Oh
01:09:39Oh
01:09:40Oh
01:09:41Oh
01:09:42Oh
01:09:42Oh
01:09:42Oh
01:09:43Oh
01:09:43Oh
01:09:44Oh
01:09:44Come on, come on, come on, come on.
01:09:48Looks like Goose is airing out a Chevy again.
01:09:51We better walk.
01:09:54Come on, buddy. Leave it there, meat.
01:09:56We're gonna walk in.
01:09:58Shall we?
01:10:03It's really a drag, man.
01:10:05Come all the way down here.
01:10:07I win the state championships. I bring the car here.
01:10:09I put on this monkey suit, and now I gotta walk there.
01:10:11It's really garbage, man.
01:10:13Take his legs.
01:10:25Now, I want you to tell those double-crossing, rat-faced basketball pricks
01:10:30that Parky finally got his revenge.
01:10:34Mr. Meat Tipperillo will be at no graduation.
01:10:38He's signing on board the HMS Pig Nuts with me for an indefinite cruise.
01:10:42You understand me?
01:10:43That's kidnapping!
01:10:44It's not kidnapping when he's gonna be my son-in-law, girl!
01:10:47And that he's gonna be!
01:10:48You gotta get him.
01:10:49You gotta get that fat son of a bitch.
01:10:50You gotta get him.
01:10:51You gotta get him.
01:10:52You gotta get that fat son of a bitch.
01:10:55You gotta get him.
01:10:56You gotta get him.
01:10:57You gotta get that fat son of a bitch.
01:11:00Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh.
01:11:03You gotta get him.
01:11:04You gotta get him.
01:11:05You gotta get that fat son of a bitch.
01:11:11That fat son of a bitch.
01:11:21Okay.
01:11:23Okay.
01:11:25Good luck.
01:11:27Yep.
01:11:41This is the most important day of my life, you understand?
01:11:55It's not every day that my philosophy is married.
01:11:57And I don't want nobody fucking it up.
01:11:59You get that?
01:12:01I got it, Porky.
01:12:03All you gotta do, girl, is come down the aisle with him and give him away.
01:12:06And don't fuck it up.
01:12:08I won't fuck it up.
01:12:10I'm gonna come down the aisle and I'm gonna give meat away.
01:12:12All right, you got it.
01:12:13Now get your ass back to work.
01:12:14Go on.
01:12:15What's the matter with you?
01:12:16Can't you smile, boy?
01:12:17Huh?
01:12:18Daddy, I'm sorry to interrupt you.
01:12:19What the hell are you doing here?
01:12:21There's a hooker back there.
01:12:22Don't you know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?
01:12:25Get your ass back in your cow.
01:12:27I mean, lay off.
01:12:40They played tonight's dress, and they got hammered?
01:12:42They were all off though.
01:12:56Yeah.
01:12:57Too much fun for everyone?
01:12:58Deal, mate.
01:13:00Too much fun to see the bride.
01:13:03Come on, give me your hand, me.
01:13:32Come on, get up here.
01:13:39Here, you gotta forgive me for my temper, me.
01:13:43But I'm glad to see my son-in-law is a moxie guy,
01:13:46because that's exactly what I want from my grandson.
01:13:49What grandson?
01:13:50The one from you and Blossom, asshole.
01:13:52Now, what the hell you think you're getting married for, boy?
01:13:55Beats the shit out of me.
01:13:57You know, I hope we don't have to do that.
01:14:01Ah, shit, those days are over.
01:14:04Man, all I want now is a young grandchild,
01:14:07a little porky, somebody to bounce on my knee,
01:14:09teach them how to hustle, beat people,
01:14:11go fishing, break heads, kick ass.
01:14:13Something to be proud of. Carry on the family name.
01:14:16I'm your son-in-law.
01:14:22Thanks for listening.
01:14:24I'm your son.
01:14:26I'm your son-in-law.
01:14:29I'm your son-in-law.
01:14:30I'm your son-in-law.
01:14:32I'm your son-in-law.
01:16:04For better for worse, for richer for worse, in sickness and in health, ill death.
01:16:42Um, how do we, uh, how do we, uh, you know, get out of here?
01:17:20I know you're out there, you little bastards,
01:17:27and I'm gonna find you.
01:17:31There you are, you candy asses!
01:17:33Hey, ugly! Hey, big man!
01:17:36I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna chew up your asses!
01:17:43What the fuck are you doing?
01:17:44I'm antagonizing him.
01:17:45Will you get the motor squad if Christ said he's coming after us?
01:17:48That's exactly what we want.
01:17:49Come on, Paddy!
01:17:51Get up with the paddle wheel!
01:18:19Come on, Paddy!
01:18:21Come on, Paddy!
01:18:22Woo-hoo!
01:18:23Hey, Paddy, but you can't catch us!
01:18:26You polished shit!
01:18:28Give it full speed!
01:18:30Back to the motor!
01:18:31Okay!
01:18:32Fire!
01:18:33Yeah!
01:18:34What we're going?
01:18:35Come on!
01:18:36On speed!
01:18:37Throw!
01:18:38On fire!
01:18:39Look at me!
01:18:40That's your plan!
01:18:41Fire!
01:18:42How are we going?
01:18:43Come on!
01:18:44On speed!
01:18:46On fire!
01:18:51On speed!
01:18:53Fire!
01:18:53Fire!
01:18:56Fire!
01:18:56All right, guys!
01:19:07Hey, get the troops.
01:19:09Get the Marine Patrol.
01:19:11I got another suicide.
01:19:12Come on!
01:19:20Come on!
01:19:24Lady, please, don't jump.
01:19:37Captain, I have to be with you.
01:19:40In?
01:19:40In?
01:19:40In?
01:19:42He's gone!
01:19:44Yep, real gone.
01:19:47He's a real gone guy.
01:19:49More jump on!
01:19:50Come on!
01:19:57What's you, Batman?
01:20:00Woo-hoo!
01:20:01Woo-hoo!
01:20:02It's easier to squeeze your fat ass underneath this bridge!
01:20:06Sound your heart!
01:20:07You're nuts!
01:20:08You're nuts!
01:20:14Lady, please, I gotta open the bridge.
01:20:17You gotta open the bridge, and I gotta jump.
01:20:19That's life.
01:20:21Everybody's got something to do.
01:20:24Come on.
01:20:25I'm coming after you!
01:20:26I'll be in the lake.
01:20:26Okay, you're gonna get the sea off the ocean.
01:20:30I'm coming after you!
01:20:32Come on!
01:20:33Come on!
01:20:34Come on!
01:20:35Come on!
01:20:35Come on!
01:20:36Come on!
01:20:36Come on!
01:20:37Come on!
01:20:37Come on!
01:20:38I'm coming after you, you bastard!
01:21:08No, no, no!
01:21:38You know, we got a bridge coming up our ass?
01:21:42Reverse the speed.
01:21:43We don't have a reverse.
01:21:44They've cut the engines, asshole.
01:21:46Oh, they're goddamn users, kid.
01:21:47Yo, give me a hard-ride runner.
01:21:49We don't have a runner.
01:21:50Asshole.
01:21:58Offer our goddamn bridge!
01:22:03Bridge dog, you son of a bitch!
01:22:05Wake up!
01:22:08Offer the fucking bridge!
01:22:13Offer our guns!
01:22:17Daddy!
01:22:18Daddy!
01:22:28Ah!
01:22:29Ah!
01:22:29Ah!
01:22:38Oh, my God.
01:23:08And so, as we say farewell to our youths and our carefree days of chronic and frivolities, we are going out into a larger world of...
01:23:27Well, Wendy, I gotta hand it to you. You really did it this time.
01:23:30Yeah, this is gonna be the best graduation ever.
01:23:33So when are we gonna do it?
01:23:35Do what?
01:23:36Didn't you tell Peewee about it?
01:23:38Of course I told it.
01:23:39Tell me what?
01:23:40We're all gonna flash when we get to the podium.
01:23:42Flash what?
01:23:44In your case, not much.
01:23:46Oh, you didn't think I fell for that practical joke of yours, did you?
01:23:49What practical joke?
01:23:50You know about not wearing clothes underneath our gowns and then we get to the podium mooning the audience.
01:23:55Check it out, I knew it.
01:23:57Oh, yeah, well, then how come you guys are wearing clothes underneath your gowns?
01:24:00It may look like we're dressed, but in fact...
01:24:04Cut-offs.
01:24:10Go ahead.
01:24:12Just reach down on you again.
01:24:14Take them off.
01:24:15Should I?
01:24:16No, we'll see.
01:24:17You can do it, Peewee.
01:24:19Just be safe.
01:24:20I'm sorry.
01:24:21He's a strange boy.
01:24:33You've raised me a very strange grandson.
01:24:36The president of our United States, today we celebrate their beginnings.
01:24:45I am proud to give you our graduating class.
01:24:50Okay, so by the time Inga's getting her diploma, we'll all be near the podium.
01:24:54That's when we do it.
01:24:55Inga?
01:24:55Yeah, she's got a flash, too.
01:24:57Inga, did you have clothes underneath your gown?
01:25:00It's American custom, yeah?
01:25:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:25:04I love America.
01:25:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:25:09Inga, you're handsome.
01:25:12Edward Morris.
01:25:21Sort of makes you feel warm all over.
01:25:27Wake up in the morning and another night's gone.
01:25:31Tumble out of bed and turn the radio on.
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