- 18 hours ago
Crackpot -SD
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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00:00:27Wake up you little sucker, we've got so much to do, here eat your breakfast, ah you little
00:00:54punk. We must toil to make our daily bread. That we must. We should take our showers. No time
00:01:14for frills. Listen we can't go to work stinking like skunks, we need to blend into society.
00:01:18Well if that's all it takes. Now I'm legit. Buy my lovely finger puppets, only three dollars
00:01:39each. Buy my dignity, I'm having a clearance sale. Buy my lovely finger puppets, only one
00:01:44dollar each. Buy my, what do I have to sell? Screw it, no one's buying. Give me your money
00:01:51I'll do a little dance. Hand over your currency, it's no longer current. Buy my bitter lost
00:02:01passions. Rent my broken dreams. How's our food holding up?
00:02:11Looks like we've got enough to last a lifetime. A lifetime? Yeah, we'll probably get through
00:02:18about half of it then we'll want to kill ourselves. Good point. They're not that bad when they're
00:02:26boiled. Yeah, they're great. How much did you say they work in? About ten cents a block.
00:02:34Winnie Cash. Ooh.
00:02:37Wow. Bobby?
00:02:57Bobby?
00:03:00April Wilson? How long has it been since high school?
00:03:04I lost track. What are you doing?
00:03:07Uh, just a little project. You always were artistic. Is that what you are now, an artist?
00:03:14Yeah, I'm an artist. Well that's so wonderful. So do you live nearby?
00:03:20Yes, quite nearby. Well that's great because I'm having a party on Saturday. Just pop by. It'd be great to catch up with you.
00:03:31Thanks.
00:03:37You should come to the shindig. The wingding? Man, I'd rather eat cardboard.
00:03:41You do that already. True that. So I think I need an artsy getup.
00:03:45Oh. Okay, let's just swipe the Amex. Should we put it on the gold or platinum?
00:03:49I could dumpster dive it. Go for that hipster look. They look homeless half the time anyway, huh?
00:04:03Ooh, bested. Ooh, smelly.
00:04:07And then when you do it, you're awful.
00:04:13Yeah, there's some service.
00:04:15That's a little unorthodox.
00:04:17How did you pick up that? She's good.
00:04:21What on earth is that? Should we call the police?
00:04:41Oh no, it's April's headache.
00:04:44Hi Bobby.
00:04:49Oh, hi April.
00:04:51I'm glad you made it.
00:04:52Me too.
00:04:53Have you met my friends?
00:04:54I've met your cheese plate.
00:04:56Apparently so. Come on, come meet my friends.
00:04:59Okay.
00:05:03Hey everyone, this is my friend Bobby from high school.
00:05:06Hello Bobby.
00:05:08Hello Bobby.
00:05:09Hi.
00:05:10He's an artist.
00:05:11Oh.
00:05:12What kind of artist are you?
00:05:14I'm like a sculptor of sorts.
00:05:16Oh.
00:05:17Um, that should account for your colourful attire.
00:05:24I once met Lafitte Lesseux. He was similarly garish.
00:05:29True, true.
00:05:30Who?
00:05:31Lafitte Lesseux.
00:05:32I mean, he's this fabulous performance artist.
00:05:35He does work downtown.
00:05:37You would love him, huh?
00:05:39So...
00:05:40So, what do you all do?
00:05:44We're psychiatrists.
00:05:46All of you?
00:05:49Even him?
00:05:50Yes, even me.
00:05:52I mean, I didn't mean it like some kind of...
00:05:55You know, I was just wondering...
00:05:57Okay, okay.
00:05:58Let's go get some Merlot.
00:06:00I mean, even me.
00:06:02Sorry.
00:06:03It can be a bit much.
00:06:04Yeah, you used to hang with a different crowd.
00:06:06Yeah, I know.
00:06:07I don't know what happened.
00:06:09There you are.
00:06:10Oh, hey, Bobby.
00:06:11This is Seymour, my colleague.
00:06:17Okay, well, he's a little bit more than my colleague.
00:06:21Hi, Seymour.
00:06:22How do you do?
00:06:23No complaints.
00:06:24Good.
00:06:25Because people rarely listen to them.
00:06:27That's why they hire shrinks.
00:06:28True dat.
00:06:29Dat?
00:06:30That.
00:06:31Oh, that.
00:06:32Excuse me.
00:06:33What an...
00:06:34Jerk.
00:06:35Oh, I know.
00:06:36Isn't it hot?
00:06:37Yeah.
00:06:38April, you have to come see Muffy's Hashdina.
00:06:40I think I need to go feed my iguana.
00:06:42Okay, well, let's catch up sometime.
00:06:43You know, when I don't have to entertain my colleagues.
00:06:44Yeah, okay.
00:06:45So, what's your number?
00:06:46I don't have one.
00:06:47No, I mean, I'm switching phone companies, but I have yours.
00:06:48Give me a call.
00:06:49Cool beans.
00:06:50See you later, Bobby.
00:06:51Bye.
00:06:52Bye.
00:06:53Bye.
00:06:54Bye.
00:06:55Bye.
00:06:56Bye.
00:06:57Bye.
00:06:58Bye.
00:06:59Bye.
00:07:00Bye.
00:07:01Bye.
00:07:02Bye.
00:07:03Bye.
00:07:04Bye.
00:07:05Bye.
00:07:06Bye.
00:07:07Bye.
00:07:08Bye.
00:07:10Bye.
00:07:11Bye.
00:07:12Bye.
00:07:19Hit me.
00:07:22Such a goon.
00:07:26You should make a naked lady.
00:07:28It would probably sell.
00:07:30And a naked man.
00:07:31You'd like that, wouldn't you?
00:07:37These dummies just can't recognize fine art when they see it.
00:07:41If all else fails, we can boil them up and eat them.
00:07:47I'm sorry.
00:07:48I'm sorry.
00:07:49My bad.
00:07:50It's okay.
00:07:51No one was buying them anyway.
00:07:52Well, how much were you charging?
00:07:54Five bucks.
00:07:55Five bucks?
00:07:56For noodles?
00:07:57I could have made those.
00:07:59Yes.
00:08:00They said the same thing to Picasso.
00:08:02That's creative.
00:08:03Thanks.
00:08:04How much are they?
00:08:05Four dollars.
00:08:06Alright.
00:08:07Those look weird.
00:08:08Thanks.
00:08:09What's that one?
00:08:10It's a naked lady.
00:08:11How much?
00:08:12Five hundred dollars.
00:08:13Tell you what.
00:08:14I'm gonna give you a hundred bucks?
00:08:15For that one right there?
00:08:16Not a penny more.
00:08:17You have a little...
00:08:34You have a little smudge.
00:08:48Ow.
00:08:49It's a really big smudge.
00:08:52Life is full of smudges.
00:08:53It's like you never grew up.
00:08:55Maybe I didn't have it in me.
00:08:57What?
00:08:58Growth.
00:08:59Everyone does.
00:09:00Perhaps I didn't want to.
00:09:02Mmm, that's a different story.
00:09:04Ah! You're doing it!
00:09:05What?
00:09:07Psychoanalyzing.
00:09:08So you're pretty much all grown up and settled, huh?
00:09:11Settled?
00:09:12You know, you have a fully plotted career path, a mortgage, a 401k.
00:09:16You know with absolute certainty who you'll spend the rest of your life with.
00:09:20I wouldn't be shocked if you already started saving for your unborn children's college education.
00:09:25The writing is on the wall.
00:09:28Scary.
00:09:29It's your life, not mine.
00:09:30So April looks more or less the same as she did in high school.
00:09:38You still have a hard-on for her.
00:09:40No, I don't.
00:09:41Hello, sir.
00:09:42My name is Pierre.
00:09:44Nice to meet you.
00:09:45A banker friend of mine apparently acquired one of your masterpieces.
00:09:48Very cheap.
00:09:49Would you like to buy one?
00:09:50Well, no.
00:09:52But I'd like to hang them in my gallery.
00:09:55I think I could make you a star.
00:09:56Wow.
00:09:57Oh, I think you've been outclassed.
00:10:09Story of my life.
00:10:11You're really an artist.
00:10:21T for Tuffy.
00:10:25Cool.
00:10:30Okay, so basically spell out the word war underneath stop.
00:10:39Because then it's going to say stop war.
00:10:41No more selling dainty little artwork for the man.
00:10:58We are artists of the streets.
00:11:00Viva la raza!
00:11:01Huh?
00:11:01I don't know.
00:11:04You're going to have to panhandle somewhere else.
00:11:06Who's panhandling?
00:11:07Move along, stinky.
00:11:11I just bathed.
00:11:12That was yesterday.
00:11:13Crap.
00:11:13What are you doing?
00:11:26Oh, I call it happy bird's nest.
00:11:29You'd better vacate the premises.
00:11:31It's hard to take a rental cop seriously.
00:11:34Perhaps a mustache would lend him a certain gravitas.
00:11:38Uh-oh.
00:11:43Pete, this is Eagle One.
00:11:45I get a sick parking custody.
00:11:47You should come down here and pick him up and put him.
00:11:49You batted hockey man.
00:11:50You used excessive force.
00:11:53You sexually assaulted this man.
00:11:55I bet you took this job just to handcuff people.
00:11:58Pervert.
00:12:05Hey, Buttercup.
00:12:07Give me a sandwich.
00:12:07Give the boss your bread.
00:12:14Hmm?
00:12:15I'm Buttercup?
00:12:17You're whatever Boomer says you are.
00:12:20Okay, but you might get herpes.
00:12:23I already got it.
00:12:25And malaria.
00:12:30But boss, you can't get malaria from a sandwich.
00:12:33It's only transmitted through the African TC fly.
00:12:35Teach her not to threaten a boomer with such fake diseases.
00:12:39No, that's sleeping sickness.
00:12:41What?
00:12:41That's sleeping sickness.
00:12:43What?
00:12:43The T-T-Fly does not give you malaria.
00:12:50It gives you sleeping sickness.
00:12:52Mm-hmm.
00:12:53He's right, boss.
00:12:54Kick his ass!
00:12:56Can I have this?
00:13:04Sure.
00:13:06Well, not all of them.
00:13:10I need them all to fight the darkness.
00:13:13He'll protect you.
00:13:14Thanks, boss.
00:13:15Take your medication, okay?
00:13:16Sure thing.
00:13:18Do you need a standard psych evaluation before we can let this indigent go?
00:13:43Indigent?
00:13:44Want me to stick around for your protection?
00:13:47That won't be necessary.
00:13:51What happened to your face?
00:13:53Oh, I got into a little scuffle.
00:13:56Hey, hey, you should see the other guy.
00:13:58He's pretty much unscathed.
00:14:02Vandalism?
00:14:03Defacement of property?
00:14:05Assault?
00:14:06I was just expressing myself artistically.
00:14:08That doesn't make me crazy, right?
00:14:09You're not crazy, Bobby.
00:14:12Just misunderstood.
00:14:14I've been looking all over for you.
00:14:18Hey, Tuffy.
00:14:24What the hell happened to your face?
00:14:26Oh, a couple gangbangers beat me down in a holding cell.
00:14:29Who are you talking to?
00:14:31Tuffy.
00:14:32Oh, hey, April.
00:14:33How you been?
00:14:36Tuffy was wondering how you've been.
00:14:38Who's Tuffy?
00:14:41Remember Tuffy from high school?
00:14:44Why do all your stuck-up friends give me the cold shoulder?
00:14:49I'm going to have him let you out, Bobby, but you're going to need some counseling.
00:14:53Yeah, fatty here needs weight watchers.
00:14:55Myocondria.
00:14:55It's like the power plant of the cell.
00:15:07Right.
00:15:09Name the DNA bases.
00:15:12Adenine, guanine, thiamine, cytosine.
00:15:18When did you study this?
00:15:20Hmm.
00:15:23Mr. Sorum's cute.
00:15:26He's old.
00:15:28Not that old.
00:15:32Hello?
00:15:33Oh, hey, Chaz.
00:15:37Yeah?
00:15:39How many goals?
00:15:40Picture her in this.
00:15:51Oh, Chaz, you're so funny.
00:15:58Stop.
00:15:59Wait, why are you doing this to me?
00:16:01Yeah, I'm coming right over.
00:16:02Love you.
00:16:03Bye.
00:16:04Let's study more later, okay?
00:16:05Bobby is a nut job.
00:16:11If I'm a nut job, you don't exist.
00:16:15Bobby is quite normal.
00:16:17That's what I thought.
00:16:19Now go make me a sandwich.
00:16:20Don't make me clock you in front of this police station.
00:16:23I'm so hungry.
00:16:25Again?
00:16:26Yeah, this crazy thing happens every time I don't eat for a few hours.
00:16:29We need to find a way to get food three times a day without making it into this big scavenger hunt.
00:16:34See those apartments up there?
00:16:37Uh-huh.
00:16:37They contain these cool boxes called refrigerators.
00:16:42Yeah.
00:16:43And they're filled with food.
00:16:44And every time the people get hungry, all they have to do is open the refrigerator and eat the food.
00:16:50Sign us up.
00:16:51It's not that easy.
00:16:52It never is.
00:16:54We need money.
00:16:55Of course.
00:16:56I think we should get jobs.
00:16:58But I want to be free.
00:16:59Free and hungry, if that's what it takes.
00:17:01You know, I was thinking, I kind of want to leave my mark on this world in something more permanent than noodles.
00:17:09Fine.
00:17:10Get a job.
00:17:11That'll work.
00:17:12Psh.
00:17:15Don't do it.
00:17:17You'll hate life.
00:17:18You'll hate it.
00:17:19You'll become one of them.
00:17:21I can't bum forever.
00:17:23Don't leave me.
00:17:24I'll return.
00:17:27Triumphant.
00:17:29Hopefully.
00:17:31How many words per minute?
00:17:33Huh?
00:17:34How many words can you type per minute?
00:17:37That depends.
00:17:38On what?
00:17:39On whether they're long words or short ones.
00:17:41I mean, I could type the word A like a thousand times.
00:17:45I have the perfect job for you.
00:17:47Okay.
00:17:47Smith report, huh?
00:18:04Uh, it's done.
00:18:11Why don't these jerk-offs give us dental coverage?
00:18:14Uh, I got a toothbrush.
00:18:16Jerk-offs.
00:18:24Thompson letter?
00:18:25Uh, it's finished.
00:18:46Oh, look.
00:18:56Uncle Tom's back from working for the man.
00:18:59I quit.
00:19:00Stick it to him!
00:19:02You got paid, right?
00:19:03Help me paint these cogs.
00:19:04Huh.
00:20:18You came to the party?
00:20:20That kid?
00:20:23He's the same age as me.
00:20:25You're all just kiddies to me.
00:20:27I think he has a problem.
00:20:29He doesn't have free weekends either.
00:20:33Thank you all for coming.
00:20:38But what kind of people show up at some shady lot they read about on a cog?
00:20:43Um, weirdos.
00:20:44My kind of people.
00:20:46The curious ones.
00:20:47The restless ones.
00:20:48The ones who are searching for something, who might not even know what they're looking for.
00:20:52What does this mean?
00:20:54Excellent question.
00:20:55Tell me.
00:20:56What does it do?
00:20:57It turns?
00:20:58For what purpose?
00:20:59I don't know.
00:21:00Can you tell by looking at it?
00:21:02No.
00:21:03Why not?
00:21:04Because I don't know where it fits.
00:21:06Exactly.
00:21:07But you do know three things.
00:21:09It only fits in one place.
00:21:10It only does one thing.
00:21:12And if it wears out, it can be replaced by an identical one.
00:21:17Sound familiar?
00:21:19Ew, gross.
00:21:21Never mind.
00:21:22What do you do?
00:21:23I deliver the mail.
00:21:25What does that involve?
00:21:27Putting letters in people's boxes.
00:21:30Anything else?
00:21:31That's all.
00:21:32If you were hit by a bus, what would the postal service do?
00:21:35Oh, they'd be sad.
00:21:37But what would they do?
00:21:41Hire a new guy.
00:21:42Exactly.
00:21:43We're all being trained to be interchangeable parts.
00:21:46We're all being molded to fit into this bigger system.
00:21:49Some people think they have control.
00:21:51Some people think they pull the strings and turn the screws.
00:21:54But ultimately, they're just larger interchangeable parts in larger machines.
00:21:59What do you want us to do?
00:22:01We need to raise people's awareness.
00:22:02We need to show them where they fit in the bigger picture.
00:22:04Some people might not like what they see.
00:22:07We can cause a ground swell.
00:22:09And the truth?
00:22:10The truth will set us free.
00:22:19Hey, who's sponsoring this?
00:22:26Uh, the Corporate Military Industrial Complex.
00:22:29Do you have decaf?
00:22:31Why would we offer that?
00:22:33Why not?
00:22:34The whole point is to drug you into staying wide awake so you work really hard.
00:22:38I'm gonna pass.
00:22:42Slave juice?
00:22:45Anyone?
00:22:50That's cute.
00:22:51Thanks.
00:22:55Do you mind if I ask?
00:22:57How much did it cost?
00:22:59Hmm, $20.
00:23:01Great price.
00:23:02I don't know.
00:23:03It only cost 68 cents to make.
00:23:05How?
00:23:06They have 8 year old Cambodians working 15 hour days for 5 bucks a week and their hands
00:23:11are so small and skillful.
00:23:13That's awful.
00:23:14Isn't it?
00:23:18Here.
00:23:20You can have it.
00:23:22Thanks.
00:23:26Um, can I have my wallet?
00:23:36I've got some stuff.
00:23:51It's over, yeah.
00:23:54This is what you want!
00:24:06This is what you want!
00:24:08You don't want to keep it all the way you're going!
00:24:12You don't want to keep it all the way you're going!
00:24:13Like God!
00:24:15God!
00:24:24Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
00:24:25What are you thinking?
00:24:26Some very subversive thoughts.
00:24:29Like stupid ones?
00:24:30Yeah, kind of.
00:24:31Count me in!
00:24:37So, what's new?
00:24:41Not much, Bobby.
00:24:42It's only been a few days since the last time you got picked up.
00:24:45Oops.
00:24:46What's going through your head?
00:24:48I don't know.
00:24:49Sugar plums?
00:24:50So, you're hearing voices?
00:24:52Oh yeah, I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do.
00:24:55You do?
00:24:56No!
00:24:56What are you, crazy?
00:24:58So, tell me about your friend.
00:25:00Well, I know this cool bird named April.
00:25:02I hear she likes to collect Civil War memorabilia.
00:25:05Is Tuffy in the room with us?
00:25:07Do you see him?
00:25:09Where is he?
00:25:10I don't know.
00:25:11He's probably off chasing squirrels or schoolgirls or something.
00:25:16Bobby, you're mentally ill.
00:25:20What exactly does that mean?
00:25:22It means you need help.
00:25:24Need is a very subjective word.
00:25:26I want to help you.
00:25:28Knock yourself out.
00:25:31I love you, Mrs. Duck.
00:25:36You're everything to me.
00:25:41This is your home?
00:25:42Excuse me!
00:25:43Shh!
00:25:44Well, this is actually my summer home.
00:25:48My main estate is down the block behind the Piggly Wiggly.
00:25:52You can't live here.
00:25:53What are you talking about?
00:25:55This is the most luxurious alley in town.
00:25:58It even had a spread in Allitectural Digest.
00:26:01Bobby.
00:26:01April.
00:26:02You can crash at my place until you get back on your feet.
00:26:06No thanks.
00:26:07I like my chateau.
00:26:09You let me stay at your house when my dad lost his.
00:26:12So I would be happy to return the favor.
00:26:15Well, if it makes you happy.
00:26:16Hey, what am I?
00:26:22Chopped liver?
00:26:22I'm sure you'll get a new house soon.
00:26:32I hear great things about Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization.
00:26:35And Chaz was all wrong for you.
00:26:37I mean, you need a much nicer guy.
00:26:41And you can get a new cat at the shelter.
00:26:44Not that it'll ever completely replace Pookie.
00:26:48Mono's not that bad.
00:26:49As long as you drink lots of water, I'll shut up now.
00:27:00Hiya, Seymour.
00:27:02Good afternoon.
00:27:04The toes look great.
00:27:05They're practically glowing.
00:27:07Thanks.
00:27:09To what do I owe this pleasure?
00:27:11Bobby needs to crash on our couch.
00:27:13I see.
00:27:14You'll hardly notice me.
00:27:15Oh my god, put some clothes on.
00:27:18Well, I barely had a chance before you left me high and dry.
00:27:21Dry?
00:27:22You're dripping all over the place.
00:27:24At least go towel off or something.
00:27:27Fine.
00:27:27Fascist!
00:27:30Sorry, it's like he was born in a barn.
00:27:32I think April would be better able to counsel you if you weren't living in the same home.
00:27:37You know, a therapist needs to keep her distance from her patients.
00:27:40So she can see things more objectively.
00:27:42You're probably right.
00:27:47It's about time we rambled on.
00:27:52Wait for me, you fickle pickle.
00:27:54I should have just stayed in the tub.
00:27:57Bobby needs my help.
00:27:58So help.
00:27:59But he doesn't need to sprawl out on our sofa while we're working for a living.
00:28:03You're like a little girl taking in strays.
00:28:06The guy had so much potential.
00:28:08Doesn't this Florence Nightingale thing get a little old?
00:28:12You know, we could be living in a much larger home if you would just join me in the private sector.
00:28:17So I can get overpaid to hear self-indulgent rich people whine about their broken fingernails?
00:28:23Some of them have real problems.
00:28:31Hey guys, it really warms my heart to see you all here.
00:28:33Let's get down to business.
00:28:35What are those?
00:28:38It's not a trick question.
00:28:41Oink, oink.
00:28:42They're cops.
00:28:44Yes, you're right.
00:28:45They are cops.
00:28:46But on a deeper level?
00:28:47Men?
00:28:48Yes, cops are men and women.
00:28:51But these are just cartoons.
00:28:53They still trigger a meaning in our minds.
00:28:58What do you see?
00:28:59Politicians?
00:29:00Okay.
00:29:02What are these?
00:29:05Logos.
00:29:06Yes.
00:29:10What's this?
00:29:10Money.
00:29:11I could use some of that.
00:29:12Why?
00:29:13Uh, people seem willing to give me stuff for it.
00:29:17You can give people little green sheets of paper and they give you actual goods and services.
00:29:23You know, money used to be backed by precious metals.
00:29:26Now it's backed by nothing.
00:29:28It has no intrinsic value.
00:29:30Only the value people think it has.
00:29:32Currency is a mass hallucination.
00:29:35What does the money and the logos and the politicians and the cops all have in common?
00:29:41They're just symbols.
00:29:42But they hold power over us.
00:29:45You know, when a cop pulls you over, you have to listen to him.
00:29:47Why?
00:29:48Because he has a badge.
00:29:49He's an authority symbol.
00:29:51When you go to buy a car, a different logo on the hood jacks up the price thousands of dollars.
00:29:58Why?
00:29:59Because it's a status symbol.
00:30:02All these logos and brand names trigger perceptions in our mind of a product's value.
00:30:06When in truth, we can get a better impression just by looking at it or touching it.
00:30:12These symbols are obscuring our perception of reality.
00:30:16So what do you want us to do?
00:30:18We need to stop taking the symbols at face value.
00:30:20We need to be conscious of how they play on our emotions.
00:30:23How they tell us what we want to hear, even if it's just nonsense.
00:30:26How they con us into swallowing mountains of institutional lies.
00:30:30That's the only way we can break free from this mental slavery.
00:30:38That was remarkably coherent.
00:30:40Not bad for a total crackpot, eh?
00:30:43You're not a total crackpot.
00:30:44More like a chippot.
00:30:48Wanna hit the tennis courts?
00:30:51Oh!
00:30:56I bet I can swing higher than you.
00:31:06Come here often?
00:31:08Not all the time, but I like to once in a while.
00:31:12Reminds me of a time I felt cared for.
00:31:18See what it's like not being an old square, living in squaresville, eating, uh, square cakes?
00:31:25Yeah, it's great.
00:31:27As long as it's real.
00:31:28You know, you don't want to go around making up little friends.
00:31:32Who's making anything up?
00:31:34I don't get it, April.
00:31:35You want me to be alone?
00:31:37You're already alone.
00:31:39You can't know that.
00:31:40Maybe, maybe I see something you can't see.
00:31:42People can be pretty lousy.
00:31:44And everybody's disappointed in me at least once.
00:31:47I'm not toughy.
00:31:50I disappointed you?
00:31:51No.
00:31:53You said everybody has.
00:31:55Everybody else.
00:32:06Look who decided to sashay in.
00:32:09Are you drunk?
00:32:10You missed my alumni mixer.
00:32:12I'm really sorry I got caught up with work.
00:32:15You should mix more.
00:32:16I'm kind of all mixed up.
00:32:19Anyway, I've had enough glad-handing for a while.
00:32:22But what about me?
00:32:25How can I project power and success without my little trophy?
00:32:29By being powerful and successful?
00:32:32But I am.
00:32:35Yes, you are, darling.
00:32:40Thanks.
00:32:42Did I titillate you?
00:32:43Oh, yes.
00:32:47Let us go upstairs and do as the bunnies do.
00:32:50Hop.
00:32:51Bone.
00:32:52Seymour, I'm tired.
00:32:57You're never frisky anymore.
00:33:00I suppose not.
00:33:04Where were you today?
00:33:06Bobby was showing me where he hangs out.
00:33:08Were you two ever lovers?
00:33:11No, just pals.
00:33:13I don't trust him.
00:33:15He's a mentally ill homeless guy.
00:33:16What are you afraid of?
00:33:17I guess we'll find out.
00:33:25Damn, it's good to see you all.
00:33:27How are you all doing?
00:33:28I'm content like the trees in the forest.
00:33:31Okay.
00:33:32So, I've been trying to put my finger on what bothers me about people.
00:33:37They turn smelly when they don't bathe.
00:33:40When you think through human history, what has caused the greatest suffering?
00:33:43Uh, the atom bomb.
00:33:45Sure.
00:33:45That's a horrendous machine.
00:33:47But I'm talking about something that isn't just responsible for countless deaths,
00:33:51but also for keeping people suppressed in life.
00:33:54For keeping people ignorant.
00:33:56For making them ignore their own best interests.
00:33:59But the greatest source of suffering can also be the greatest source of happiness.
00:34:04The most dangerous weapon can also be the greatest cure.
00:34:07What are you talking about?
00:34:08You need to lay off the peyote.
00:34:13Faith is a double-edged sword.
00:34:15It can bring us all together, or it can tear us all apart.
00:34:20You see, there's good faith, and there's bad faith.
00:34:22But how do you know the difference?
00:34:23Here's the way I see it.
00:34:24If you're going to invest your faith in a person, or a religion, or a government,
00:34:29you can't just do it because your friends are doing it, or because you were born into it.
00:34:32You have to do it because it actually makes sense.
00:34:34It's institutions should have to earn your faith.
00:34:37And they should constantly strive to keep it.
00:34:38That's the only way to keep them from going bad.
00:34:41The real enemy is blind faith.
00:34:43When people turn off their brains and arbitrarily just decide,
00:34:47my religion is the only true path.
00:34:51My government is the only just regime.
00:34:53My particular skewed world view is the objective truth.
00:34:58That's when we let ourselves get controlled.
00:35:00That's when we become pawns in other people's wars.
00:35:03That's when we get at each other's throats.
00:35:05That's when we get at each other's throats.
00:35:18Hi, I'm Tess Whitman from KMBS.
00:35:20I'm doing a story about you.
00:35:22Huh?
00:35:24Is your movement a cult?
00:35:26Uh, no.
00:35:27I mean, cults tell people to follow their specific beliefs.
00:35:31I'm not telling people to listen to me.
00:35:33I don't want them to listen to anyone.
00:35:34I want them to listen to themselves.
00:35:38So you want people to ignore society's rules?
00:35:41Not necessarily.
00:35:42I just, I just don't want them to blindly follow them either.
00:35:45Hi, I'm the man behind the man behind the man.
00:35:48You know what I mean?
00:35:49So kind of pay attention to what I'm saying.
00:35:51Yeah, okay.
00:35:54It seems a movement, or as some may claim, a cult,
00:35:58is gaining influence across the Southland.
00:36:00They don't have a name, but apparently they rally behind
00:36:03this symbol.
00:36:06Theories about these brightly colored gears vary.
00:36:09This is me.
00:36:10This dent is my boo-boo.
00:36:15Wow.
00:36:16That's so deep.
00:36:17This is a gift from above.
00:36:21It helps us in our daily lives.
00:36:33You've got it all wrong.
00:36:34These cogs represent us.
00:36:37We're all just a bunch of interchangeable parts.
00:36:39We're all stuck in the big machine.
00:36:42I mean, if we wear out, they just replace...
00:36:52Get your own lousy mail, you guilty rich bastards!
00:36:55Bobby's changed my life.
00:37:02I mean, not much has changed on the surface, but my mind used to have all these limitations
00:37:08that now I see past.
00:37:11Now I'm free.
00:37:12Listen, I didn't realize I started a movement.
00:37:16I just see things a certain way, and I wanted to voice my opinion.
00:37:19I used to believe, you know, in the higher society, but now I know it's just all a game.
00:37:24There's this system of rewards and punishments in place to mold us,
00:37:29and sometimes I just feel like a dog in obedience school,
00:37:34jumping through hoops, trying to get a pat on the head.
00:37:37You know, they tell us to get good jobs and follow the rules,
00:37:41but we get distracted, and we lose sight of what's really going on.
00:37:47How did you guys find me here?
00:37:59What's up, sunshine?
00:38:11I checked you on the news last night, and I thought to myself,
00:38:14your cause is one I can really fight for.
00:38:16I'm going to donate some of my daddy's office space for your coat.
00:38:19Are you real?
00:38:21Maybe I am crazy.
00:38:29I don't know.
00:38:38Hello?
00:38:40Sure, we take donations.
00:38:47We finally made it.
00:38:57Night, Bobby.
00:38:59Night, little buddy.
00:39:05So what happened to your parents?
00:39:07They moved to Florida.
00:39:08I call them every month.
00:39:10Do they know you're homeless?
00:39:11I'm not homeless.
00:39:12The whole world is my home.
00:39:15So when did you start to feel alienated?
00:39:17When they beamed me up to the mothership.
00:39:20Don't be glib.
00:39:21It's who I am.
00:39:21When did you start to feel alienated?
00:39:24I don't.
00:39:26When did you start to live in denial?
00:39:27I thought I was the therapist.
00:39:30People have all sorts of crazy thoughts.
00:39:33Fine.
00:39:34If it'll get you to open up, I'll share too.
00:39:38Sometimes I feel a little awkward around Seymour's friends.
00:39:43It's like this old boys' club.
00:39:47Like a gaggle of Seymour's.
00:39:50Yeah, pretty much.
00:39:50What exactly do you see in him?
00:39:52I'm losing track.
00:39:58Here.
00:39:59These'll stop your hallucinations.
00:40:02What hallucinations?
00:40:04If Tuffy is really there, they won't do anything.
00:40:08If he's all in your head, he'll disappear.
00:40:10Okay, but I might as well be popping jelly beans.
00:40:14I mean, he's a stubborn little sucker.
00:40:16I don't think he's going anywhere.
00:40:19Man, are you on crack?
00:40:20Let's go back to our digs.
00:40:22I can't sleep there.
00:40:23It's too clean.
00:40:24You're right.
00:40:24We belong here in the dirt.
00:40:27Man comes from the earth and then he returns to it.
00:40:31Hey, what you got there, Dr. Feelgood?
00:40:34Some happy pills?
00:40:35We gonna get retarded?
00:40:37Hand it over, Bobby.
00:40:38Spread the fun around.
00:40:39April gave them to me.
00:40:41When's that cheeky gonna learn to share with all her babies?
00:40:44They're supposed to stop my hallucinations.
00:40:46Ha!
00:40:47That Fruit Loop still thinks you're loopy.
00:40:49Give me one of those pills.
00:40:50Maybe it'll make you disappear.
00:40:55No, give me these.
00:40:56No, give me them damn pills, Bobby.
00:41:03Why aren't you vanishing?
00:41:04Okay, say I was just a figment.
00:41:09Do you really want to get rid of me?
00:41:11It's just that April says I can't live in the real world if I'm stuck in my own fantasy.
00:41:16So that's what this is about.
00:41:17You want to get rid of me so you can get with that vixen.
00:41:20No, it's not like that at all.
00:41:21I'm real.
00:41:23Go ahead and take your drugs.
00:41:24I'm not going anywhere.
00:41:25I don't want to.
00:41:26I don't want to.
00:41:27Sis.
00:41:36Not such an easy pill to swallow, eh?
00:41:40Might as well let it drop.
00:41:41It's not coming up.
00:41:48See?
00:41:49I keep it real.
00:41:52Tuffy, I'm sorry.
00:41:53I didn't mean to doubt you.
00:41:54Eh, it's all right.
00:41:55You hit the sack.
00:41:56I'm going to hit the can.
00:42:00All right.
00:42:00There's no need to get all gay-bo about this.
00:42:11What time is it?
00:42:14Tuffy?
00:42:17Tuffy, did you go to the Rocky Horror Show again?
00:42:24Tuffy?
00:42:28Tuffy?
00:42:30Tuffy?
00:42:33Tuffy?
00:42:43What did you make me do?
00:42:44What?
00:42:46He's gone.
00:42:48Oh, he was never really there to begin with.
00:42:50My only true friend is gone.
00:42:53Bobby, you used to scare people.
00:42:57Now that you're not hallucinating, maybe you can start to make friends with real human beings.
00:43:01People are a bunch of jerks.
00:43:04I want my best friend back.
00:43:06Bobby, you gotta give this a fair try.
00:43:09Take your medication and see how it goes.
00:43:12If mental health means feeling this emptiness, I'd rather just be a total crackpot.
00:43:16I'm sorry, Bobby.
00:43:20Maybe this was too soon.
00:43:22You can stop taking your pills whenever you want.
00:43:24Will he come back?
00:43:26He probably will.
00:43:31I'm your true friend also.
00:43:34Yeah.
00:43:35It'll be okay.
00:43:40Yeah.
00:43:40I'd rather go back to work.
00:43:46Okay.
00:43:54So I used some of the donation money to bake cookies.
00:43:57You're using our funds for sweets?
00:44:00Aren't they neat?
00:44:03Sugary.
00:44:04We should be stockpiling assault rifles.
00:44:07I know this great psychiatrist.
00:44:08She's a good friend of mine.
00:44:10How are we going to violently overthrow the system with cookies?
00:44:13The system is too strong to violently overthrow.
00:44:16And it's made of people like you and me.
00:44:18I think En Vogue put it best.
00:44:20Free your mind and the rest will follow.
00:44:22Now free their minds and the oppressive structure will collapse on its own.
00:44:27Stop touching me.
00:44:29Sorry.
00:44:34That was really weird.
00:44:35So I got a surprise for y'all.
00:44:44A piece of paper?
00:44:45This is a blank slate.
00:44:47If we're to last we're going to need a constitution.
00:44:50It's our chance to document our ideals and pass them on for generations.
00:44:54So everybody think of your highest values and at the next meeting we'll discuss them
00:44:58and draft our declaration of independence.
00:45:02The kids are so difficult.
00:45:06I don't think they respect me.
00:45:08My youngest flat out hates me ever since I suggested she get her nose done.
00:45:12Perhaps she feels you disapprove of her.
00:45:15Of course I disapprove of her.
00:45:17Have you seen that schnoz?
00:45:19She got it from her father.
00:45:20Tell her she's beautiful.
00:45:23I'm not going to lie to her.
00:45:25Maybe a little white lie is in order.
00:45:27It's like Bobby says.
00:45:28Every lie you tell obscures a person's view of reality.
00:45:33Bobby?
00:45:34You know, the guy with the cogs.
00:45:37Welcome to the Department of Homeland Security helpline.
00:45:40If you suspect that your neighbor is a terrorist, press 1.
00:45:45If you would like to pledge your loyalty to our fearless leader, press 2.
00:45:50If you think you may be in danger from a lunatic cult, press 3.
00:45:56Welcome to the Lunatic Cult Info Line.
00:45:58Here, Tuffy Tuffy Tuffy.
00:46:01Where are you hiding?
00:46:05Come on, rise like a phoenix from the ashes.
00:46:09We've got a live one.
00:46:10Hey guys, welcome to my flop house.
00:46:14Let me get the refreshments.
00:46:16Why are you so alarmed?
00:46:18I don't know.
00:46:19You look a little shady.
00:46:21We're your friends.
00:46:22Imagine Rich, Spones, or with the Department of Homeland Security.
00:46:28We've had our eye on you for a while.
00:46:30Now concerned citizens are starting to tip us off about various
00:46:34questionable activities.
00:46:36Was I supposed to get a permit for that bake sale?
00:46:39Enough of this charade.
00:46:40Are you or are you not trying to overthrow the Postal Service of the United States of America?
00:46:47The Postal Service?
00:46:48Is this man your brainwashed puppet?
00:46:51Oh no, that guy's got a mind of his own.
00:46:53Where is he?
00:46:54I don't know.
00:46:57I'd like to observe you for a few days.
00:46:59I'm a little shy.
00:47:00I'm a little shy.
00:47:09Damn it, Bones.
00:47:10I was supposed to zap him.
00:47:12You snooze, you lose.
00:47:13I'm a little hippo frolicking in the jungle eating all the mangoes and pooping on your toes.
00:47:40Are you the messiah?
00:47:47Can't say that I am.
00:47:50Are you the gatekeeper?
00:47:52No.
00:47:56Uh, no thanks, I just ate.
00:48:00What is this, banana?
00:48:01It tastes like pesticide.
00:48:03It gives you special powers.
00:48:06Like the power to barf on myself?
00:48:07Oh god.
00:48:13Can I have my limbs back?
00:48:14I promise I won't use them for evil.
00:48:20Where are we?
00:48:20I don't know.
00:48:21Revolution does not come without sacrifice.
00:48:27After all, you have to spill a little blood to make an omelet.
00:48:31Where's Bobby?
00:48:32I don't know.
00:48:33Hugging trees.
00:48:35Picking flowers.
00:48:37Now, Joseph Stalin says that-
00:48:41Where the hell do you think you're going?
00:48:47Okay, okay, watch the cashmere.
00:48:50Now!
00:48:51I wish I had my thumbs to twiddle.
00:48:57Sometimes boogers taste like spittle.
00:49:01What's your name again?
00:49:04My very eager mother just served his nine pizzas.
00:49:07Huh?
00:49:09Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.
00:49:14Oh, I see.
00:49:19This cat is clowning!
00:49:21Tuffy!
00:49:27Gimme five!
00:49:30How'd you get here?
00:49:31I don't know, but the walls sure are nice.
00:49:36We need to get out of here.
00:49:37No way I hear the pudding is fantastic.
00:49:40I hear they do shock therapy.
00:49:41Cool, we'll ride the lightning.
00:49:43And end up like him?
00:49:47We need to get out of here.
00:49:49Who are you talking to?
00:49:52Crazy?
00:49:55This is pretty good.
00:49:56What is it?
00:49:57Seared dolphin.
00:50:02More for me?
00:50:06Eat your taters or they'll eat you later.
00:50:08Has Bobby popped by lately?
00:50:14What's with you and this kid?
00:50:16Well, he disappeared.
00:50:17I'm just hoping he hasn't gotten into more trouble.
00:50:20That's what he does best.
00:50:21You were sensitive when I first met you.
00:50:24Oh, I'm sensitive now.
00:50:25Sensitive to your treachery.
00:50:27Don't you deal with enough paranoia at work?
00:50:30Do you have to bring it home with you?
00:50:31A little paranoia is healthy.
00:50:33It helps keep the serpents out of the garden.
00:50:37What did you do?
00:50:38He's a danger to society.
00:50:40He's a danger to himself.
00:50:43You know, it's like you're the center of your own universe.
00:50:46And the rest of us are just your accessories.
00:50:49Then you should be happy to be so close to the sun.
00:50:55You are not the man I fell in love with.
00:51:01Walk out that door and you will not be allowed back in my garden ever again.
00:51:10Silly girl.
00:51:10That was 500 bucks, you little tart.
00:51:19Silly girl.
00:51:21Listen, Mac.
00:51:22You can't lose your nerve, okay?
00:51:24Will you send me jelly beans?
00:51:25Sure.
00:51:26I'll send you a crate this...
00:51:28this big.
00:51:29What color?
00:51:30All the colors.
00:51:31No.
00:51:32I want yellow and mauve.
00:51:34What's mauve?
00:51:35It's like a light burgundy.
00:51:38Okay?
00:51:39Yellow and mauve.
00:51:40Ready?
00:51:44Now!
00:51:45I'm the king of the peaty cocks.
00:51:50Sometimes I can eat you rocks.
00:51:52Now I'll make you feed me cookies and beans from seaweed.
00:51:56Nanny Nanny William goat.
00:51:57You cannot snatch me.
00:51:58No!
00:51:59No!
00:51:59No!
00:52:00No!
00:52:00No!
00:52:01No!
00:52:01No!
00:52:02No!
00:52:02No!
00:52:03No!
00:52:03No!
00:52:04No!
00:52:04No!
00:52:11You are so beautiful.
00:52:15You are so beautiful.
00:52:33Wait.
00:52:34Return to me.
00:52:38I love you.
00:52:45Do you know how many germs you just ate?
00:52:50Some people don't wash their hands after they poop.
00:52:53Yeesh.
00:53:07Then you gotta eat me!
00:53:15How are we supposed to hitchhike without thumbs?
00:53:26Where's Houdini when you need him?
00:53:28Houdini when you need he?
00:53:29Oh boy.
00:53:45I'm free.
00:53:50What about me?
00:53:51I think I'd rather leave you like that.
00:53:53I'll fart all the way home.
00:53:55When you put it that way.
00:54:04Revolution cannot be successful without the complete cooperation of my soldiers.
00:54:11So I need to know right now who's with me.
00:54:17Oh don't let this scare you.
00:54:20I would never threaten my own people.
00:54:23This is just to show you what it means to be revolutionary.
00:54:27This baby is what's going to protect us from the evil.
00:54:33That will try to stand in our way.
00:54:36Aren't you baby?
00:54:37Yes you will.
00:54:38Yes you will.
00:54:39Yeesh.
00:54:46This isn't working.
00:54:47These people are racist.
00:54:49News flash.
00:54:50They don't even see you.
00:54:52Show some skin.
00:54:54I don't think that's going to work.
00:54:55It can't hurt.
00:55:09We will crush the enemies of freedom with our mighty hands.
00:55:17We will make them pay for sins.
00:55:19We will seize their lands.
00:55:23Why aren't any of you singing along?
00:55:24We will make them be their words.
00:55:27We will ring their necks.
00:55:29We will force them.
00:55:32Am I at the wrong meeting?
00:55:34Hi Bobby.
00:55:34Do you want to sing a song with me?
00:55:36Uh, what you got there?
00:55:38What this?
00:55:40It was an M16 assault rifle.
00:55:43Can I see it?
00:55:43No way bollers.
00:55:45It taught me enough.
00:55:47Nothing comes between me and my Nellie.
00:55:51You fought in Vietnam?
00:55:52I think so.
00:55:54Maybe it was a video game.
00:55:57Yeah, they say your noodle is fried.
00:56:00Nellie would never cheat on you.
00:56:02She just needs me to clean her tube.
00:56:05Don't ever call her barrel a tube.
00:56:10It's her petunia.
00:56:13Sorry, petunia.
00:56:15It won't ever happen again.
00:56:18Okay, water her petunia.
00:56:20So, uh, what's tonight's topic?
00:56:28Violent revolution.
00:56:30Um, I think that's a topic for a different club,
00:56:33but you could always start your own.
00:56:38Okay.
00:56:40Oh, give me my gun back.
00:56:44I think I could borrow it.
00:56:46I have this horrible rat problem.
00:56:50Okay.
00:56:56That was weird.
00:57:00Okay, so let's get down to business.
00:57:05Someone got a pen?
00:57:07Oh, yeah, it's okay.
00:57:08Cool work.
00:57:13You, again?
00:57:14Hi, Seymour.
00:57:15Um, do you know where April is?
00:57:17I think you're in a better position to know.
00:57:19Huh?
00:57:20Casanova.
00:57:22You can't be serious.
00:57:24Look at me.
00:57:24I'm pathetic.
00:57:27You have a point.
00:57:34You wouldn't believe the places I...
00:57:36I left Seymour.
00:57:39Good move.
00:57:39Where have you been?
00:57:51I guess I need to get a case of mauve jelly beans.
00:58:00What's mauve?
00:58:01It's kind of like a light burgundy.
00:58:03I know I shouldn't be, but I feel a little sad about my breakup.
00:58:11Are you sad that it didn't work out or sad that you ever thought it could?
00:58:15Good question.
00:58:17I guess I need a therapist of my own.
00:58:20That's what I'm here for.
00:58:21Don't you ever have relationship issues?
00:58:24I'm not exactly a dating material.
00:58:28No.
00:58:28I mean, do you know any girls who run into nutty homeless guys?
00:58:32We can work on you a bit.
00:58:35Nah.
00:58:36Let's just hit the swings.
00:58:37Okay.
00:58:54I hate to intrude.
00:58:56They gave me two beds.
00:58:57I might as well put the second one to use.
00:59:01And you might want to put the shower to use.
00:59:05Good call.
00:59:11Good night, Bobby.
00:59:13Good night, little buddy.
00:59:35I can't sleep.
00:59:36Me neither.
00:59:40Want a cuddle?
00:59:40Huh?
00:59:42It's been a while since I've had a good snuggle.
00:59:44Maybe it'll help us sleep.
00:59:46Okay.
00:59:48I get the inner spoon.
00:59:49Fair enough.
00:59:50Good night.
01:00:00Your hair smells good.
01:00:01Thanks.
01:00:04Night, little buddy.
01:00:05Night, night.
01:00:11You little devil, you.
01:00:13Tuffy?
01:00:15What are you doing here?
01:00:16You pimp!
01:00:17How did you pull this off?
01:00:19Um, we're trying to sleep.
01:00:21Hey, Tuffy.
01:00:23Hi, April.
01:00:24You could see him?
01:00:26No.
01:00:27But you were talking in that general direction, so I thought I'd play along.
01:00:31Hmm.
01:00:32Um, could Tuffy sleep in the extra bed?
01:00:45Why not?
01:00:53Good night, Tuffy.
01:00:54Night, little buddy.
01:01:02Hrgh.
01:01:04No.
01:01:08Good night, Tuffy.
01:01:09I'm good tonight.
01:01:12Bye.
01:01:13Bye.
01:01:14Bye.
01:01:17Bye.
01:01:18Bye.
01:01:24Bye.
01:01:26Bye.
01:01:27Bye.
01:01:28Bye.
01:01:29Bye.
01:01:30Bye.
01:01:30Bye.
01:01:31Bye.
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