- 21 hours ago
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00:00okay so i believe these are the three finalists chance buddy and gunner are you picking out a
00:12rescue dog no a baby daddy we can order anything online these days she's not ordering a person
00:22she's just interested in their you know contributions
00:25how do you like to open that package by mistake
00:34sorry yeah sorry i forgot this is serious business it is and your juvenile jokes are making it harder
00:42for gabby to make a decision there's just so many to choose from and they're all so different
00:48well i know one thing they got in common they all needed a hundred bucks
00:52that's funny you're funny you're funny and uh why isn't it juvenile when emmet makes a joke
01:03i'll zip it that's one oh my god you still haven't picked a donor yet well i just don't want to make
01:10a mistake okay what do you like most about the three candidates well gunner is from australia and i think
01:17it would be so cute if my baby had an accent yeah good day mom
01:25okay gunner's out what about the other two honestly my clear favorite is chance
01:32then what's the problem it is such a dumb name i mean am i really supposed to take a chance on chance
01:38we don't care about his name we only care about what's in his jeans and yes i heard that
01:47look i don't know why you are getting so upset gabby we've been doing this for weeks and we're no
01:52closer to making a decision than when we started well i am sorry but this is not at all how i imagined
01:58it you know someday my kid's gonna ask me mommy how did you meet daddy and i'll say daddy was
02:04mailed to mommy's house in a sterile straw packed in dry ice excuse me i have to go tell emmet something
02:14gabby i can't pretend to know what you're going through
02:18and i know it's odd but trust me nobody else does
02:21i need to go tell emmet something
02:36all right gabby we've seen everybody it's time to make a decision chance i picked chance you mean it
02:43yes almost maybe you know what let's just draw straws
02:51that was a poor choice of words excuse me i gotta go tell emmet something
03:00sometimes it feels like a big old fight to get through the day and sleep on through the night
03:08but here you'll find a place that'll surely lift your spirits you belong in hat beach place
03:20it's okay sweetie we'll figure something out thanks daddy hey what's wrong give me
03:26out an extra credit assignment it's just not coming together sounds like it calls for a root beer
03:32can i dad no is what will tell your mom just so you know kimmy i lived for extra credit when i was
03:41your age what was it extra paper bonus worksheets reenacting the signing of the declaration of
03:49independence with all of your friends she was trying to get an entrepreneur to come and talk to class
03:55but apparently beyonce was busy she aims i as did beyonce i don't know maybe i should just lower my
04:04expectations maybe people definitely told me to do that when i was your age did you no i sent 15 emails
04:13to german chancellor angela merkel until she agreed to a two-minute phone interview for my school paper
04:18really really you won't know what you're capable of until you try so keep shooting for the stars wow
04:29are you busy tuesday because i'd love it if you'd speak to my class
04:33in the words of angela merkel yeah yay thank you that's so sweet of you isabella
04:45understudy to beyonce not bad
04:49hey are you still mad at me for taking so long to choose a baby daddy i'm not mad at you gabby i'm
05:03just frustrated i wish you'd make a decision well in that case i think there is someone that you should
05:09meet come on come on well where is this person whoa who's that chance chance chance like i take
05:26a chance on chance chance yeah steve found him on the internet and then he lured him here with a
05:33coupon for a free hamburger and fries you did what i know i told steve he didn't need to add the fries
05:39but he insisted i don't care about the fries what is he doing here well if i'm going to choose
05:45him i need to get to know the man behind the profile that's a dumb idea i think i want to pick
05:50him you're a genius all that is left is for you to meet him and give him the final seal of approval
05:56why why do you need my opinion because you have good judgment and i bought a timeshare in my 20s
06:03fine fine well i like him he chews with his mouth closed and he's a clipopotamus
06:13that's what we coupon clippers call each other
06:17who knew that world was so clever hey i'm bobby i own this place how's things going so far great
06:25thanks you know this is like the friendliest bar i've ever been to oh i even met your accountant
06:32well we like to feel that every guest could be a part of the family
06:40sorry inside joke okay well uh it was really nice to meet you well you know i'm not in rush why don't
06:47we just chat for a little bit oh um look i'm flattered but i'm not really into women you know
06:57in your demographic oh no no no i'm just one of those super friendly type owners that's all
07:06excuse me did i hear you say you were the owner i'm busy
07:09tell me about your family i think i should maybe leave oh no wait don't go uh i know this seems a
07:19little weird oh no no not at all i'm only leaving because this is so normal
07:26i just need 10 minutes of your time to get to know you better but i don't want that
07:32i'm gonna come clean with you it's very simple my friend wants to have a baby and she sent me over
07:37here to see if you're as good as your profile that's her right there
07:44my anonymous profile so you cyber stalked and tricked me just to get me over here yeah our bad
07:53but looky there you got a free burger and fries
07:58so um is everything going okay no there is no way i am letting you weirdos have my baby i am
08:04calling the sperm bank and putting a stop to this tell your friends about happies
08:13yeah i think we can do better
08:20why did you tell him that i wanted him to be my donor when has honesty ever made anything better
08:27i was just trying to help besides you have two more finalists i can't use them now
08:34their second choice and my baby deserves the best
08:40how does this happen everybody around here acts crazy but i always wind up looking like the crazy one
08:46well i'm not the crazy one okay she's not gonna convince anyone making that argument
08:57i don't know what to do steve i just wish i could pick someone that i already knew was a good person
09:03well if you need to know the guy why don't you pick someone you already know yeah well most people
09:09that i know best work here and dakota has already got a bunch of kids and i can't use any of our
09:14regulars i know how much they drink
09:19uh hello you never asked me well that's because i didn't think you would no i never would
09:29but it's nice to be asked
09:31you know actually you know who'd be best emmet he's tall he's handsome hair loss skips a generation
09:40you know plus you know his calm jeans would even out you know all of this
09:46too bad he's too old oh he's not too old al pacino had a kid at 83. yeah and al pacino's the one in
09:52the stroller don't be ridiculous men don't lose their fertility or their looks that's how you
10:01know god is a man tell me the truth am i a bad friend no you're the best friend anybody could ever
10:10have except for maybe willy wonka i'm serious i'd do anything for gabby but when she finally makes
10:20a decision i immediately blow it willy wonka drowned a kid in chocolate
10:24what well she's nervous having a baby is the biggest thing a person could do
10:33i didn't know you felt that way well sure i do why wouldn't i
10:39look i'm sorry you fell lousy if it'll help why don't you just punch me
10:44what good would that do always help my brother bobby hit me i mean
10:57all right i'll tell you what
11:03okay just
11:04what is it steve i just wanted to give emmet a quick heads up this isn't likely to happen but
11:14it's gabby so it could uh-oh what's the problem she might want your seed to grow a baby
11:25oh that's a good one steve no i'm serious she was saying how there was no reason emmet couldn't do
11:30this and compared him to al pacino in a stroller so kind of a compliment
11:35anyway i'm gonna go wash my eyes out
11:41huh yeah huh
11:50are you nervous about talking to the kids nervous
11:53i'm looking forward to inspiring young minds you know filling them with my knowledge
12:03that's nice i'd be nervous
12:08hi dad hi miss sanchez we're ready
12:14good luck
12:15hi everybody class let's welcome our guest hi welcome miss sanchez thank you for doing this
12:26interview it's my pleasure and you can call me isabella thank you isabella now before we start
12:34i just want to say i am so pleased to be here with you all i want you to know that i once sat
12:42exactly where you're sitting so when you look at me don't just think of what i've done
12:50think of where i've come from
12:55that's so wonderful what made you first want to start your own business well actually the business
13:01was started before i came on board oh so you worked your way up yeah you could say that
13:06but it wouldn't be true
13:07see what had happened was i woke up one morning and checked my email
13:12and my dad had left me a tavern and you were ready to step up to the plate
13:18yes yes a great definition of luck is when preparation meets opportunity
13:27and you were prepared because you went to business school
13:29no actually i studied psychology oh so you're also a psychologist no but i did get into stanford
13:41graduate school stanford wow that must have been so simulating i assume it is
13:48but i haven't gone yet because i took a gap year two years ago
13:52whoa is it getting hot in here look i'm trying to make you look good but you gotta work with me
14:02well there is more to life than your career you know one of the hardest things to achieve
14:06is a successful work-life balance right yeah that's right so so tell us about your social life do you
14:12have a husband no a boyfriend no what do you do after work well most nights i go home is it too
14:24much to hope you own your own home no it's my sister's but i do have my own bathroom
14:42hey hey look bobby about what uh steve said yeah oh hey emmett looking good those new pants no
14:56i mean yes they are but you know i'm returning them
15:03jeez learn to take a compliment
15:05yeah you got him there that man cannot take a compliment that's one of his many many genetic flaws
15:17why are you putting down emmett oh it's not his fault it's just bad breeding
15:22let's just say that emmett's family tree is more like the crazy bush
15:28thank you so much for helping kimmy she really appreciated it it was my pleasure
15:35give me anything i don't care as long as it makes me forget everything since i woke up this morning
15:42oh that's right you were with 11 year olds today yep give her the good rum
15:49you know the 11 year old girl that lives next door to me told me that i looked like an emotional eater
15:57no no kimmy was perfectly nice and yet somehow she still managed to
16:04reach into my soul and go
16:08they're just kids isabella don't take them so seriously no i'm gonna she made me face some
16:14uncomfortable truths about myself oh uncomfortable truths are my least favorite ones
16:20you know ever since i found out about happy i've been letting circumstances run my life
16:25i think it's finally time i took charge of it myself well that's a very healthy attitude
16:29yeah tough issues don't get settled by ignoring them
16:36very true
16:38wait where are you going i'm gonna go talk to emmett
16:42hey hey okay one of us is gonna have to address this now if you want to be the father of gabby's
16:53baby i don't have a i don't want to do that oh thank god what in the world would you think that for
17:01you were the one that was going on about how having a baby is the most important thing a person could
17:05do it was one sentence i know it was one sentence but you only do about three of them a day
17:14i was afraid you wanted me to you said you'd do anything for gabby
17:19i would do anything for gabby but there's plenty i don't want you to do
17:25come here
17:30i absolutely am crazy about you and i don't want to do anything that would jeopardize this
17:37okay great but what is this
17:41bobby this is a magical time in a relationship where you're allowed to tell me not to impregnate other
17:47women
17:56i should go talk to gabby you know what let me do that i may have something to offer
18:03you're only offering words right we'll see how it goes
18:16oh hey listen i need to talk to you is it about the pants it was a compliment
18:26look if i'm wrong and i'm pretty sure i am
18:31saying this is going to be embarrassing as hell
18:33what are you talking about i can't be your donor
18:38oh my god
18:47okay
18:50damn it i mean how would that even work
18:53i mean you and i would have a baby together while you're dating my best friend
18:58i mean i like country songs i don't want to be one
19:00okay i'm sorry i'm sorry i didn't i didn't mean to laugh so what exactly is your plan at this point
19:11i don't know okay i think i'm just gonna put this whole pregnancy thing on hold until i can get some clarity
19:19well clarity takes time gabby and excuse me for saying this but it's not something that you have a
19:25a lot out of right now well this isn't an easy decision to make i understand totally it wasn't an
19:32easy decision when i made it what i mean you thought about having kids sure
19:38sure i mean i still wonder once in a while what it'd be like to have a
19:45emma jr to take fishing you know oh or little emily standing on my shoes
19:52while i teach her how to dance yeah
19:57but i made the decision not to and on the whole do you think it was the right choice
20:03hell i don't know i think so but who knows point is it was my choice
20:10if you put off the decision much longer choice will be made for you gabby
20:18hey emmett
20:21do you think i'd be a good mom
20:26i think you'd make a hell of a mom gabby
20:33i don't hear any words
20:39okay gabby show us who you picked okay my baby daddy is going to be
20:46luigi oh he's adorable
20:54oh he's got such kind eyes and that chin would look so cute on a baby
20:58oh great baby
21:03great earlobes
21:07all that's left is for me to enter my credit card number
21:10and luigi's dna will be on its way to my house
21:15and done
21:17i'm so proud of you honey
21:20wow i just made a baby
21:24come in i like to cuddle after
21:26bye
21:40you
21:41you
21:41you
21:41you
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