- 21 hours ago
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00:00Okay, so I believe these are the three finalists, Chance, Buddy, and Gunner.
00:11Are you picking out a rescue dog?
00:12No, a baby daddy.
00:16Man, you can order anything online these days.
00:19She's not ordering a person.
00:21She's just interested in their, you know, contributions.
00:25How do you like to open that package by mistake?
00:34Sorry.
00:36Yeah, sorry. I forgot this is serious business.
00:39It is. And your juvenile jokes are making it harder for Gabby to make a decision.
00:44There's just so many to choose from. And they're all so different.
00:48Well, I know one thing they got in common. They all needed a hundred bucks.
00:52That's funny. You're funny.
00:56You're funny.
00:57Yeah, you're funny.
00:59And, uh, why isn't it juvenile when Emmett makes a joke?
01:03Cause if it, that's why.
01:06Oh, my God, you still haven't picked a donor yet?
01:09Well, I just don't want to make a mistake.
01:11Okay, what do you like most about the three candidates?
01:14Well, Gunner is from Australia.
01:16And I think it would be so cute if my baby had an accent.
01:19Yeah.
01:21Good day, Mom.
01:22Okay, Gunner's out. What about the other two?
01:28Honestly, my clear favorite is Chance.
01:31Then what's the problem?
01:33It is such a dumb name.
01:35I mean, am I really supposed to take a chance on Chance?
01:39We don't care about his name.
01:41We only care about what's in his jeans.
01:43And yes, I heard that.
01:44Look, I don't know why you are getting so upset.
01:50Gabby, we've been doing this for weeks.
01:52And we're no closer to making a decision than when we started.
01:54Well, I am sorry.
01:56But this is not at all how I imagined it.
01:58You know, someday my kid's going to ask me,
02:00Mommy, how did you meet Daddy?
02:02And I'll say, Daddy was mailed to Mommy's house in a sterile straw packed in dry ice.
02:07Excuse me, I have to go tell Emmett something.
02:14Gabby, I can't pretend to know what you're going through.
02:18And I know it's odd.
02:19But trust me, nobody else does.
02:21I need to go tell Emmett something.
02:36All right, Gabby, we've seen everybody.
02:38It's time to make a decision.
02:40Chance.
02:41I picked Chance.
02:42You mean it?
02:43Yes.
02:44Almost.
02:45Maybe.
02:46You know what?
02:46Let's just draw straws.
02:51That was a poor choice of words.
02:55Excuse me, I've got to go tell Emmett something.
03:00Sometimes it feels like a big old fight
03:04To get through the day and sleep on through the night
03:08But here you'll find a place that'll surely lift your spirits
03:13You belong in Hat Beach Place
03:16It's okay, sweetie.
03:21We'll figure something out.
03:23Thanks, Daddy.
03:24Hey, what's wrong?
03:25Kimmy had an extra credit assignment, and it's just not coming together.
03:29Sounds like it calls for root beer.
03:32Can I, Dad?
03:33No is what will tell your mom.
03:36Just so you know, Kimmy, I lived for extra credit when I was your age.
03:42What was it?
03:44Extra paper?
03:45Bonus worksheets?
03:48Reenacting the signing of the Declaration of Independence with all of your friends?
03:52She was trying to get an entrepreneur to come and talk to class.
03:56But apparently Beyoncé was busy.
03:58She aims high.
04:00As did Beyoncé.
04:01I don't know.
04:03Maybe I should just lower my expectations.
04:05Maybe.
04:06People definitely told me to do that when I was your age.
04:09Did you?
04:11No.
04:12I sent 15 emails to German Chancellor Angela Merkel
04:15until she agreed to a two-minute phone interview for my school paper.
04:20Really?
04:21Really.
04:22You won't know what you're capable of until you try.
04:25So keep shooting for the stars.
04:28Wow.
04:28Are you busy Tuesday?
04:31Because I'd love it if you'd speak to my class.
04:33In the words of Angela Merkel.
04:35Yeah!
04:38Yay!
04:40That's so sweet of you, Isabella.
04:43Aw.
04:45Understudy to Beyoncé.
04:48Not bad.
04:49Hey, are you still mad at me for taking so long to choose a baby daddy?
05:02I'm not mad at you, Gabby.
05:03I'm just frustrated.
05:05I wish you'd make a decision.
05:06Well, in that case, I think there is someone that you should meet.
05:10Come on.
05:11Come on.
05:11Come on.
05:14Well, where is this person?
05:15Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
05:20Whoa.
05:20Who's that?
05:23Chance.
05:24Chance, chance.
05:26Like I take a chance on chance, chance.
05:29Yeah.
05:30Steve found him on the Internet, and then he lured him here with a coupon for a free hamburger
05:34and fries.
05:36You did what?
05:37I know.
05:37I told Steve he didn't need to add the fries, but he insisted.
05:41I don't care about the fries.
05:42What is he doing here?
05:44Well, if I'm going to choose him, I need to get to know the man behind the profile.
05:48That's a dumb idea.
05:49I think I want to pick him.
05:50You're a genius.
05:52All that is left is for you to meet him and give him the final seal of approval.
05:56Why?
05:58Why do you need my opinion?
06:00Because you have good judgment, and I bought a timeshare in my 20s.
06:06Fine.
06:06Well, I like him.
06:09He chews with his mouth closed, and he's a clippopotamus.
06:13That's what we coupon clippers call each other.
06:17Who knew that world was so clever?
06:21Hey, I'm Bobby.
06:22I own this place.
06:24How's things going so far?
06:25Great.
06:25Thanks.
06:26You know, this is like the friendliest bar I've ever been to.
06:28I even met your accountant.
06:31Oh.
06:32Well, we like to feel that every guest
06:35could be a part of the family.
06:40Sorry, inside joke.
06:42Okay.
06:43Well, it was really nice to meet you.
06:45Well, you know, I'm not in a rush.
06:46Why don't we just chat for a little bit?
06:48Oh, look, I'm flattered, but I'm not really into women, you know, in your demographic.
06:58Oh, no, no, no, no.
07:03I'm just one of those super friendly type owners, that's all.
07:06Excuse me, did I hear you say you were the owner?
07:08I'm busy!
07:09Tell me about your family.
07:14I think I should maybe leave.
07:16Oh, no, wait, don't go.
07:18I know this seems a little weird.
07:20Oh, no, no, not at all.
07:20I'm only leaving because this is so normal.
07:22I just need ten minutes of your time to get to know you better.
07:29But I don't want that.
07:32I'm going to come clean with you.
07:33It's very simple.
07:35My friend wants to have a baby, and she sent me over here to see if you're as good as your profile.
07:40That's her right there.
07:43My anonymous profile?
07:45So you cyberstalked and tricked me just to get me over here?
07:49Yeah, our bad.
07:50But looky there, you got a free burger.
07:55And fries.
07:58So, um, is everything going okay?
08:01No, there is no way I am letting you weirdos have my baby.
08:04I am calling the sperm bank and putting a stop to this.
08:07Tell your friends about happies.
08:12Yeah, I think we can do better.
08:14Why did you tell him that I wanted him to be my donor?
08:24When has honesty ever made anything better?
08:27I was just trying to help.
08:31Besides, you have two more finalists.
08:33I can't use them now.
08:34They're second choice.
08:36And my baby deserves the best.
08:38Ugh, how does this happen?
08:42Everybody around here acts crazy, but I always wind up looking like the crazy one.
08:46Well, I'm not the crazy one, okay?
08:48She's not going to convince anyone making that argument.
08:57I don't know what to do, Steve.
08:59I just wish I could pick someone that I already knew was a good person.
09:03Well, if you need to know the guy, why don't you pick someone you already know?
09:08Yeah, well, most people that I know best work here.
09:11And Dakota's already got a bunch of kids.
09:13And I can't use any of our regulars.
09:15I know how much they drink.
09:19Uh, hello?
09:21You never asked me.
09:22Well, that's because I didn't think you would.
09:25No, I never would.
09:29But it's nice to be asked.
09:32You know, actually, you know who'd be best?
09:35Emmett.
09:36He's tall, he's handsome, hair loss skips a generation.
09:40You know, plus, you know, his combed jeans would even out, you know, all of this.
09:46Too bad he's too old.
09:47Oh, he's not too old.
09:49Al Pacino had a kid at 83.
09:51Yeah, and Al Pacino's the one in the stroller.
09:55Don't be ridiculous.
09:56Men don't lose their fertility or their looks.
10:00That's how you know God is a man.
10:02Tell me the truth.
10:06Am I a bad friend?
10:08No, you're the best friend anybody could ever have.
10:11Except for maybe Willy Wonka.
10:14I'm serious.
10:15I'd do anything for Gabby.
10:18But when she finally makes a decision, I immediately blow it.
10:22Willy Wonka drowned a kid in chocolate.
10:27What?
10:28Well, she's nervous.
10:30Having a baby's the biggest thing a person could do.
10:33I didn't know you felt that way.
10:35Well, sure I do.
10:36Why wouldn't I?
10:39Look, I'm sorry you felt lousy.
10:41If it'll help, why don't you just punch me?
10:47What good would that do?
10:49Always help my brother.
10:52Bobby, hit me.
10:54I mean...
10:57All right, I'll tell you what.
10:58Just a minute.
11:00That's my first one.
11:03Okay, just ill.
11:08What is it, Steve?
11:09I just wanted to give Emmett a quick heads up.
11:12This isn't likely to happen, but it's Gabby, so it could.
11:15Uh-oh.
11:16What's the problem?
11:17She might want your seed to grow a baby.
11:21What?
11:25Oh, that's a good one, Steve.
11:26No, I'm serious.
11:28She was saying how there was no reason Emmett couldn't do this
11:30and compared him to Al Pacino in a stroller,
11:32so kind of a compliment.
11:35Anyway, I'm gonna go wash my eyes out.
11:39Huh.
11:43Yeah.
11:44Huh.
11:50Are you nervous about talking to the kids?
11:52Nervous?
11:53Nah.
11:54I'm looking forward to inspiring young minds.
11:59You know, filling them with my knowledge.
12:03That's nice.
12:05I'd be nervous.
12:08Hi, Dad.
12:09Hi, Miss Sanchez.
12:10We're ready.
12:11Dad.
12:12Good luck.
12:19Hi, everybody.
12:20Class, let's welcome our guest.
12:22Hi, Sanchez.
12:24Welcome, Miss Sanchez.
12:25Thank you for doing this interview.
12:27It's my pleasure.
12:28And you can call me Isabella.
12:29Thank you, Isabella.
12:31Now, before we start,
12:33I just want to say
12:35I am so pleased
12:38to be here with you all.
12:39I want you to know that I once sat
12:41exactly where you're sitting.
12:44So when you look at me,
12:46don't just think of what I've done.
12:49Think
12:50of where I've come from.
12:52That's so wonderful.
12:57What made you first
12:58want to start your own business?
12:59Well, actually,
13:00the business was started
13:01before I came on board.
13:03Oh, so you worked your way up.
13:04Yeah, you could say that.
13:06But it wouldn't be true.
13:09See, what had happened was
13:10I woke up one morning
13:11and checked my email
13:12and my dad had left me a tavern.
13:15And you were ready
13:15to step up to the plate.
13:17Yes.
13:18Yes.
13:18A great definition of luck
13:20is when preparation
13:22meets opportunity.
13:26And you were prepared
13:27because you went to business school?
13:30No.
13:31Actually, I studied psychology.
13:34Oh, so you're also a psychologist.
13:36No.
13:38But I did get into
13:40Stanford graduate school.
13:42Stanford?
13:43Wow, that must have been
13:44so simulating.
13:45I assume it is.
13:48But I haven't gone yet
13:49because I took a gap year
13:50two years ago.
13:53Whoa, is it getting hot in here?
13:56Look, I'm trying to make you look good,
13:58but you've got to work with me.
14:01Well, there is more to life
14:03than your career.
14:04You know, one of the hardest things
14:05to achieve is a successful
14:06work-life balance, right?
14:09Yeah.
14:09That's right.
14:10So tell us about your social life.
14:12Do you have a husband?
14:14No.
14:15A boyfriend?
14:16No.
14:19What do you do after work?
14:21Well, most nights I go home.
14:23Is it too much to hope
14:24you own your own home?
14:27No, it's my sister's.
14:31But I do have my own bathroom.
14:34Ooh.
14:34Ooh.
14:43Hey.
14:44Hey.
14:47Look, Bobby, about what Steve said.
14:49Yeah.
14:50Oh, hey, Emmett.
14:51Looking good.
14:52Those new pants?
14:54No.
14:56I mean, yes, they are,
14:57but, you know,
14:58I'm returning them.
14:59Geez, learn to take a compliment.
15:08Yeah, you got him there.
15:09That man cannot take a compliment.
15:12That's one of his many,
15:13many genetic flaws.
15:17Why are you putting down Emmett?
15:18Oh, it's not his fault.
15:19It's just bad breeding.
15:21Yeah.
15:22Let's just say that Emmett's family tree
15:24is more like the crazy bush.
15:26Thank you so much for helping, Kimmy.
15:30She really appreciated it.
15:31It was my pleasure.
15:35Give me anything, I don't care.
15:37As long as it makes me forget everything
15:39since I woke up this morning.
15:42Oh, that's right.
15:43You were with 11-year-olds today.
15:46Yeah.
15:46Give her the good rum.
15:49You know, the 11-year-old girl
15:50that lives next door to me
15:51told me that I looked like
15:53an emotional eater.
15:56No, no.
15:58Kimmy was perfectly nice.
16:01And yet, somehow she still managed
16:03to reach into my soul
16:05and go...
16:06They're just kids, Isabella.
16:09Don't take them so seriously.
16:11No, I'm gonna.
16:13She made me face some
16:14uncomfortable truths about myself.
16:16Ugh.
16:16Uncomfortable truths
16:17are my least favorite ones.
16:19You know, ever since I found out
16:22about Happy,
16:22I've been letting circumstances
16:24run my life.
16:25I think it's finally time
16:26I took charge of it myself.
16:28Well, that's a very healthy attitude.
16:30Yeah.
16:31Tough issues don't get settled
16:32by ignoring them.
16:35Very true.
16:36Yeah.
16:38Wait, where are you going?
16:40I'm gonna go talk to Emmett.
16:42Hey.
16:46Hey.
16:47Okay, one of us
16:48is gonna have to address this.
16:50Now, if you wanna be
16:51the father of Gabby's baby,
16:53I don't have a...
16:54I don't wanna do that.
16:55Oh, thank God.
16:58What in the world
16:59would you think that for?
17:01You were the one
17:01that was going on
17:02about how having a baby
17:04is the most important thing
17:05a person could do.
17:06It was one sentence.
17:09I know it was one sentence,
17:11but you only do
17:12about three of them a day.
17:14I was afraid you wanted me to.
17:17You said you'd do
17:18anything for Gabby.
17:19I would do anything for Gabby,
17:21but there's plenty
17:21I don't want you to do.
17:25Come here.
17:30I absolutely am crazy about you.
17:33And I don't wanna do anything
17:35that would jeopardize this.
17:37Okay, great.
17:38But what is this?
17:40Bobby, this is a magical time
17:43in a relationship
17:44where you're allowed to tell me
17:46not to impregnate other women.
17:55I should go talk to Gabby.
17:58You know what?
17:59Let me do that.
18:00I may have something to offer.
18:03You're only offering words, right?
18:05We'll see how it goes.
18:16Oh, hey.
18:18Listen, I need to talk to you.
18:19Is it about the pants?
18:22It was a compliment.
18:24No.
18:26Look, if I'm wrong,
18:28and I'm pretty sure I am,
18:30saying this is gonna be
18:32embarrassing as hell.
18:34What are you talking about?
18:37I can't be your donor.
18:45Oh, my God!
18:49Okay, Evan, I mean,
18:51how would that even work?
18:53I mean, you and I
18:54would have a baby together
18:55while you're dating
18:56while you're dating my best friend.
18:58I mean, I like country songs.
19:00I don't want to be one.
19:05Okay, I'm sorry.
19:07I'm sorry.
19:07I didn't mean to laugh.
19:09So what exactly is your plan
19:11at this point?
19:12I don't know.
19:12Okay.
19:14I think I'm just gonna
19:15put this whole pregnancy thing
19:17on hold
19:18until I can get some clarity.
19:19Well, clarity takes time, Gabby.
19:21And excuse me for saying this,
19:23but it's not something
19:24that you have a lot of right now.
19:27Well, this isn't an easy decision to make.
19:30I understand totally.
19:31It wasn't an easy decision
19:33when I made it.
19:34What?
19:36I mean,
19:37you thought about having kids?
19:38Sure.
19:40I mean, I still wonder
19:41once in a while
19:42what it'd be like
19:43to have a...
19:45Emmett Jr.
19:46to take fishing, you know?
19:47Aw.
19:48or little Emily
19:50standing on my shoes
19:51while I teach her how to dance.
19:54Yeah.
19:56But I made the decision not to.
19:59And on the whole,
20:01do you think
20:02it was the right choice?
20:04Hell, I don't know.
20:05I think so,
20:06but who knows?
20:07Point is,
20:08it was my choice.
20:10If you put off the decision
20:11much longer,
20:12a choice will be made
20:14for you, Gabby.
20:15Hey, Emmett?
20:21Do you think I'd be a good mom?
20:25I think you'd make
20:27a hell of a mom, Gabby.
20:28I don't hear any words.
20:39Okay, Gabby.
20:40Show us who you picked.
20:41Okay.
20:42My baby daddy
20:43is going to be...
20:45Luigi.
20:47Aw, he's adorable.
20:48Oh, he's got such kind eyes
20:56and that chin
20:57would look so cute
20:58on a baby.
21:00Oh, I love...
21:02Oh, that's a nice question.
21:03Great earlobes.
21:07All that's left
21:08is for me to enter
21:08my credit card number
21:10and Luigi's DNA
21:11will be on its way
21:12to my house.
21:15And done.
21:17Yay!
21:18I'm so proud of you, honey.
21:20Wow.
21:21I just made a baby.
21:24Come in.
21:25I like to cuddle after.
21:26Yeah.
21:32Thanks, guys.
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