- 2 days ago
- #realitytvdeep
#RealityTVDeep
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Short filmTranscript
00:30Great work. Don't forget to cool down, guys.
00:48Good morning.
00:49As in?
00:50Well, if you're looking for something to brighten your day.
00:53What honking lycra?
00:55Fresh air, endorphins, blood pumping.
00:58It's the best medicine.
01:01Yeah, I think I'll find something a bit less tragic.
01:04You all right?
01:05No.
01:06All right.
01:07Let's get you inside.
01:09See you next time.
01:11Go on.
01:12I was having a wee look at my stats last night.
01:17Listeners are up.
01:18Downloads are increasing.
01:19My algorithm is...
01:20I know I shouldn't be obsessed with that stuff, but it's dead exciting.
01:26Like, who knows where this could take me?
01:28Yeah.
01:28It's great, Mikey.
01:30Well done.
01:30I just need plenty of cases to cover.
01:33But the well's looking a wee bit dry.
01:35You want some crime?
01:36Look no further than my own mother.
01:40Wanted for wage theft.
01:41What are you on about?
01:42Got my first pay today.
01:44How am I supposed to live on that?
01:45You are more than fairly compensated.
01:48We're not exactly raking it in.
01:49Are we in a union?
01:50Maybe we should join a union.
01:52I cannot be here for this conversation.
01:54Seriously, though, how did you get by on that?
01:59You just do.
02:00Make a few wee adjustments.
02:03Coupon deals, second-hand markets.
02:05Bank robberies.
02:05Like, grab lunch with me later.
02:07I'll show you how to sort your life out.
02:08All right, Stacey Solomon, you're on.
02:13Oh, thanks, Talon.
02:14That's great.
02:16Oh, hi.
02:17What sort of this?
02:18Oh, I thought I'd put in a nice spread today.
02:20You should have come to my shop.
02:21I've got plenty of nice things.
02:22I fancied a trip into town.
02:25So it's a big occasion.
02:26Lenny and I have a quiet day to ourselves for a change.
02:29Oh, Lord and Lady of Leisure, is it?
02:32Trying to make the most of you's retirement.
02:35It's a big adjustment.
02:37Tell me about it.
02:38I keep calling it Amber Caps.
02:40So how's the bubba?
02:41Oh, he's a wee lamb.
02:43I tell you what, though.
02:44I'd forgotten how exhausting it is looking after a newborn.
02:47Gran and granda running about daft.
02:49Oh, I know about that one.
02:50Oh, we're happy to help.
02:51Don't get me wrong.
02:52But today is about peace and quiet.
02:56Will you go and enjoy yourself, darling?
02:58See you soon.
03:00Bye.
03:02Oh!
03:04You shouldn't be moving too much.
03:05Well, if you'd hurry up and find them.
03:07I can't see anything.
03:09There's a first aid box underneath the sink.
03:11You know what, if it's just a muscle pull...
03:17It's an old boxing injury playing up.
03:20Facet joint.
03:21I've got some exercises that might help me.
03:23Painkillers!
03:24Please!
03:24Right.
03:25Right.
03:47Eh, the day would be good.
03:49dude you're in luck last two left aye i feel dead lucky today thanks don't mention it
04:14so how's it all gone under my ma's roof oh good aye hi i'm really pleased you two men
04:19aye aye must be weird your history not only when people bring it up right sorry anywho this is all
04:29your idea you're not regretting it i mean i love my ma but she can be a nightmare to live with
04:36no no she's been brilliant oh come on there must be stuff that drives you to larry you can tell me
04:43yeah does she still do that thing where she just so happens to be dusting something
04:48nearby whenever you're on the phone she does dear doesn't she see that wasn't so hard was it
04:53what else once you can't make a cup of tea save herself the tea bags in there for about 10
04:57seconds let it stew woman oh i don't think she does drag me bananas you can be mid-conversation
05:03talking about something the next thing you turn around and she's vanished out the room
05:07into thin air i mean who does that unbelievable
05:12carl all right
05:23how is it
05:31uh she's enough now thanks for the help that's all right like to do my bit help the inform is there
05:40anything else you need from me before i do the actual job you know you hired me to do less cheek
05:45for a start and we need some mere cocoa demo no we don't hi we do i just scrubbed the last two i
05:52do i just restocked the first aid box when yesterday the day before so where'd they all go
06:00hey do you know what i've just remembered i took some ham to roisin yesterday i'll replace him a day
06:13you uh you sure you didn't injure anything else this morning
06:17oh
06:33only me
06:36oh
06:38what's that like this
06:39well i could ask you the same have you no met this is teddy
06:42very funny is amber with you yeah well where is she yes i come up seemed urgent
06:50well what was it i don't ask it it was urgent but you didn't ask oh my interrogating days are behind
06:55me isn't he oh so we've been saddled at the last minute once again you'll be no bother oh you
07:02me man lenny you're meant to be relaxing your stress levels are just i think i can handle a newborn
07:07well how did amber seem fine i was hoping we could have a bit of time to ourselves
07:18i still can i mean this is great for a third wheel could be worse though no you're right
07:24oh have gone two minutes
07:34maybe leave that for another timey
07:44dog in school i thought you were doing well i am i was why what's happened what about me gonna tell me
07:53who you were hiding from
07:57it's complicated don't change the subject all right look i i don't know i just i feel behind all right
08:07oh don't give me the whole disappointed i don't look i'm disappointed you should talk
08:11school all the time says who gran mum angus angus didn't even know me then what's he going about
08:17i mean i wasn't exactly head boy but see when i look back you regret it you wish you worked harder
08:26blah blah blah blah blah you've got the answer to everything today don't you answer me this then
08:33why though what you got a day with yourself after school
08:46what happened to you whoever said exercise was good for you maggie was a bare-faced liar
08:52is drew about i don't think he offers refunds no it's nothing like that he's upstairs do you want me to
09:02pass on a message how did he seem well he wasn't exactly a chatty kathy but that's not unusual
09:08is he on his own or what's going on to me
09:18what about that unicorns with the games development
09:23aye that's the one it's too late i thought you had the offer it's a conditional and i need my maths
09:30exams are right round the corner and i've missed too much right look we'll get you back on track
09:36how we'll talk to the school your ma she doesn't even care of course she cares she's your ma
09:44she's definitely going to care when she hears about this exactly only time she even notices
09:49i'm nervous when she's raging about something
09:54she's a bit preoccupied
09:57with the wains
10:00and chris
10:01i'm not going to make you tell her all right but she's going to find out eventually
10:29and it's going to be better coming for you
10:35all right
10:42oh any luck i think i've lost my magic touch
10:46what was that song you used to do to get amber to settle no no that was a dance it was you that
10:51had done that oh at this point i'd try anything if i could remember that is maybe just needs a feed
11:02where
11:02she hasn't packed any formula i'm sure he's just slipped her mind look if she's going to drop teddy
11:10on people the least you can just make sure they have everything they need why don't you just let
11:15tell him tire yourself out no i can't bear to listen to him like that the poor wee thing
11:23straight to voicemail
11:25i want a poor one stop get some formula no i'll go
11:28hey
11:30he's still young
11:45true
11:47all right gran
11:50everything okay
11:52yeah yeah good
11:55why'd you ask
11:56just that you seem a wee bit out of sorts
12:00no no i'm just a bit tired that's all
12:04have you taken something
12:07what
12:08it's a simple question
12:09it's a simple answer no
12:12look if you've slipped up this is ridiculous
12:16drew am i not allowed to have a bad day of course you are i hate this it's like living under a
12:22microscope constantly being watched like you're all just waiting for me to slip up that's not true
12:27at all you're literally standing there accusing me i'm not accusing you of anything i'm asking you a
12:32question how would you like it if i started watching you like a hawk asking questions i know exactly how you feel
12:38because i've lived it with your mum and your auntie ellie
12:42are the sideways glances checking my glass my morning coffee this won't last forever drew you can earn the trust back but only if you're honest
12:56honest
12:59honest
13:01all right
13:02i'm being 100 percent honest okay i've not taken anything i feel good i feel healthy
13:10i've got everything under control
13:13well that all sounds great except for one thing
13:16i spoke to tommy
13:19seems his painkillers went wandering after you'd been at molly's corner with him
13:26oh true
13:42what's this she's doing we'll be in the lap of lunch anybody
13:45unexpected visitor teddy you're choking well what about all your plans oh nice along with the champagne
13:52oh that's a pure sin he's really restless do you have any formula aye course number forgot to pack
13:59any i guess she was preoccupied with her urgent matter urgent matter doesn't look very urgent to me
14:05she left the office to get her hair done she came back with a full-faced botox
14:16unbelievable
14:17that's just the word i was thinking too
14:20mum
14:21proud of yourselves are you laughing away at the pub while we're left playing babysitter again
14:27this is what you call urgent is it well yeah what does it look like it looks like two pals
14:32on a jolly a jolly we're talking about the oyster alice's campaign i was just boring her with
14:38socials and surveys i'm sorry i don't recall asking for your input mum enjoy the rest of your meeting
14:46i'm really sorry about her i don't know what is up with her today
14:56hmm this is worse than i thought stop being dramatic four streaming services on here
15:03well it's the golden age of telling everybody knows that well how many of you logged on to in the past
15:07week four three two one zero and how many guys you messaged on the apps you pay for uh why did i
15:16show you my phone a hypocrite hey this is different come on it's a big gay world out there do you not
15:21think it's about time to get back to it i'm just not feeling the fantasy at the moment my self-esteem's
15:28run out of steam anyway enough about me what else are you wasting your money on well you are enjoying
15:35this far too much what is this massive one the gym the gym what are they doing the exercises for you
15:44well do you have a better idea i do actually there's plenty of cheaper ways of staying in shape some of
15:48them are right here in shield inch oh my god do not say drew's running club true's running club how not
15:53it's cheap it's good for you you meet new people i know enough people and maybe i was a teensy bit
15:59nasty um this morning right fine suit yourself stay skinned and miserable no no i'll give it a go
16:06if you do too no chance why not it's cheap it's good for you you'll meet new people what have you got
16:13to lose uh my dignity i've seen your apps remember right fine i'll give it a go one session uno and that's
16:21your lot i took two out of the packet i handed them to him told him they're the last ones and pocketed
16:31the rest oh good is it i mean i stole from my friend and he's been so supportive since rehab i mean
16:40everyone has the club i've let everyone down how weak am i right okay we're not doing that take a breath
16:55smallest of things can knock us off balance i remember once years ago i'd just finished a shift and
17:03i booked a taxi to take me across town and then this chancer just jumped in it before i did i thought
17:10how unfair i'd been on my feet all day i thought the world was against me and if things were that terrible
17:19then why not just take a drink did you no not that time other times was a different story
17:29but that's the decision you have to make each time so no you're not weak drew because you get up every
17:38morning and you fight i was so close they'd been burning a hole in my pocket all day i mean if you
17:47hadn't come up who's to say it would have been so easy for me to slip but you didn't and here you are
17:52having a conversation with me you have got to stop damning yourself for what could have happened
18:00and give yourself some grace for what you did
18:12kathleen how are you knowing school i thought we could have a wee word what are you playing at
18:18look i am here working my fingers to the bone and your dog in school no i wasn't even is it bullying
18:24wait are you being bullied what no don't lie to me i'm not look he's a bit behind behind aye but we've
18:32been talking right oh yous have have you and how long have you known about this what just today can
18:38you let us speak unbelievable man rap at you i'm not the one in trouble here i know no i don't want to hear
18:45it i told you can you believe him it's you i cannae believe
18:55i never felt good enough never felt like i could do anything right
19:00it was like everyone else had this magical book you know how to live in the world but i didn't have that
19:05i felt stupid and lost
19:13and the only way i could feel anything at all was to hurt myself
19:21but football that was different i was good and suddenly i'd found something to shut up that negative
19:29voice on the pitch everything was quiet i had a job to do i was good at it and it was peaceful
19:39really big thing in ae inner peace i rode that all the way to the states
19:45and it was all going so well you know i i went from this lost little kid with no dreams
19:51to becoming someone you could all be so proud of and then one day gone and i went back to being that
20:00lost wee boy again you've always been proud of you drew no i thought i was making progress but maybe this
20:07running club is the same as football maybe it's still all to do with how other folks see me it's just
20:13how my brain works it'll find something to latch onto i understand better than most but this isn't the way to do it
20:24i know you can get back there back to that inner peace and you can build self-worth drew i know you can
20:34but you have to give yourself credit for being strong and for resisting temptation
20:40i'll try promise promise that's all we can ask are you going to tell mum about today
20:54it depends on what you're going to do with those get them out of my sight
21:02you owe someone an apology you really think that's a good idea trust me with these never mind me
21:11what do you think let's try and play nice eh she has to be told well i think you're already told
21:22they're over there so let's keep the temperature cool all right okay i'll play nice
21:32all right hey dana how was he do we quietly sell because there was no formula
21:38but hey we got there you know you believe they can ever since well i'll remember it next time
21:43next time yeah she's already planning the next time do we not get a saying this did you not hear
21:49anything i said to you i'm sorry remind me was that before or after you bit alice's head off well
21:54you can't blame me for my reaction we're on ragged here while you're living it up at the pub it was a
22:00meeting in the ship oh come on dad how many times have you had a meeting over a drink
22:06going off like that in front of alice and the whole street it was mortifying no amber what is
22:10mortifying is you dumping teddy on us like that we have lives to lead to well i'm sorry we're such
22:16a burden oh don't you dare nobody is saying that okay we love having them you know that but i had a
22:22whole day planned for us look i'm sorry about your plans or whatever but i think you're overreacting
22:28hey your mother put a lot of thought into today and she was looking forward to it and so was that
22:33we're retired we should be able to spend more quality time together relaxing i don't know about
22:39you i certainly don't feel relaxed fine well maybe it's best to find someone else to look after teddy
22:45oh and now who's overreacting just check this next time eh gives a wee bit of notice that way we
22:50can make something work look look we are always here to support you both of you but i will not
22:55have you taking advantage of our kindness you gave us a fright today yeah won't happen again ever
23:14i promise well if it does if you feel yourself tempted you need to talk to us no more secrets
23:22all right yeah i will so apology accepted well granted you'll accept one of mine i should never
23:30have put you in harm's way like that what no you were in agony it was a mistake and like you said
23:37it won't happen again i'm not your responsibility we all care about you mate we're in this fight with
23:48who's it back i'll be back running with you in the time i don't know not sure i'm cut out for this club
23:55stuff aha just the man what's going on um i was thinking hey we were thinking that maybe there's
24:06worse things than honking at lycra right just like a trial sure no promises i can live with that
24:14so can we be in your super duper club can you let a couple of new recruits then can you great we'll
24:22see you in the morning then bright and early you didn't say anything about early
24:30it was already a lot of upheaval you and the girls rocking up then just as he's getting used to that
24:35here comes chris aye but less of this many this sorry i know sorry i guess he's been feeling
24:48left out like he's not important he's been feeling worse and worse and then that's affected school and
24:56here we are you got all of that out of him aye because i let him talk i had no idea he was feeling
25:04like that we can fix this but if he puts a shift in maybe he gets a tutor a tutor what a man made of
25:11money all right maybe his teachers can help his teachers aye fat lot of good they'd been
25:16they not been in touch no look all right maybe i've not kept mine callum like i should have
25:23but if i don't know something was up nobody's blaming you kill we all just want to get him back
25:28on track and i know you've been spinning a bunch of different plates but right now
25:32you're priority has to be calm
25:40oh aye your ears burning
25:46right i'll leave yous to it
25:51catch you mate
25:52listen i i'm so sorry darling i shouldn't have lashed out like that before i should have let you
26:01speak i had no idea you were feeling left to it i just thought you were going through a moody
26:06teenage thing it's fine just leave it no i will not you're part of this family callum and these exams
26:13can handle it yourself aye and how's that working out for you like i love how independent you are
26:21i do but we all need a wee bit of help sometimes and maybe my focus has been in other places other
26:30people but i'm gonna do better we both are we're gonna fix this but what happens if it's too late
26:39what if i've ruined it well then we'll deal with that and whatever comes after but together like a family
26:47i believe it when i see it
27:05today's the day you know the police application i should heed any time now that came for you
27:10what's up this is not good understatement of the century i'll talk to him when you can't just
27:22sit back and wait for the perfect opportunity come on what is it are you seeing somebody else
27:27it's not how you think then tell me eddie what is it
27:40you
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