- 5 weeks ago
Fort Tilden' is the tale of a ten-mile road trip by a couple of bored Brooklyn brats, who head for the beach to hook up with a pair of charmless dudes.
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00:40:41This is not how I treat other people's bikes.
00:40:43You need to think about yourself first,
00:40:45and other people's bikes second.
00:40:50Dang it.
00:40:51Come on.
00:40:55Oh, he's gonna be so mad.
00:41:00Yeah, it's like nature's hiding place.
00:41:03This feels disrespectful. Just put it...
00:41:05Yeah.
00:41:11Ugh.
00:41:21Alright, that's good.
00:41:22That's good.
00:41:26It's perfect.
00:41:27Let's go.
00:41:34Come on.
00:41:38We'll come back for it.
00:41:39Okay.
00:41:42It's just karma.
00:41:43We've got messed up karma now.
00:41:47Um, no.
00:41:48Eb probably did something terrible and disgusting,
00:41:51and this is karma's way of getting back at him.
00:41:55That's not how karma works.
00:41:58Oh, my God.
00:41:59What do you think he did?
00:42:04Ugh.
00:42:05Isn't this, like, where cab drivers live?
00:42:09God, I need an iced coffee, not here.
00:42:12It's too hot for this.
00:42:13What do we do?
00:42:15Let's go!
00:42:19I'm looking up car services.
00:42:21Daddy?
00:42:22Daddy?
00:42:23Daddy?
00:42:24Ali and I are stuck in deep Brooklyn, and our bikes were stolen, and there are no cabs anywhere, and it's kind of sketchy.
00:42:38Don't worry me like this, sweetheart.
00:42:39We don't know what to do.
00:42:40Can you believe our bikes were stolen?
00:42:43Well, I'd happen to send the car, but she's tied up in Moscow right now.
00:42:47Are you serious?
00:42:48You know, you're 25 years old now.
00:42:51I think you've got to be on this one, Angel.
00:42:53Dad, that's not fair.
00:42:54This is an emergency.
00:42:56I've got to go, but if you're still stranded in an hour, I'll figure something out, okay?
00:43:00Okay, thanks.
00:43:01Love you.
00:43:02I love you so much.
00:43:04This is so fucked up.
00:43:06You know who actually lives here?
00:43:08You know someone who lives here?
00:43:10You're gonna hate this.
00:43:12Maren and Amanda.
00:43:13No.
00:43:14No.
00:43:15Not those basic bitches.
00:43:16I mean...
00:43:17Maren is a raging asshole, okay?
00:43:19That girl can't stand me, and she thinks I'm threatened by it.
00:43:22They're just both so fucking boring, they're like chapters in a book it's okay to skip.
00:43:26They're just fucking Minnie Mouse rats with makeup on.
00:43:29They have a car.
00:43:32Okay.
00:43:33Yeah.
00:43:34This way.
00:43:36So, this one's rose, this one is pistachio, this one's praline, although I always get praline mixed up with espresso.
00:43:45I ate all the orange blossoms.
00:43:48I'll have a rose.
00:43:50I wonder what that tastes like.
00:43:52It's actually not my favorite, but they're all so good you can't go wrong.
00:43:55Harper, you seem like a passion fruit kind of girl.
00:43:58Why?
00:44:00Because you're spontaneous.
00:44:02That's okay.
00:44:03Well, they're here if you change your mind.
00:44:05I won't.
00:44:06Would you guys care for some tea?
00:44:07Actually, we're dying for coffee.
00:44:09Oh, I'm sorry, this is a coffee free house.
00:44:13But we have gingerbread man, apple cinnamon, chamomile.
00:44:18No, that's fine, thanks.
00:44:20It's so nice of you guys to visit.
00:44:22You almost missed us.
00:44:23We have to go get butter before it gets dark.
00:44:26Do you guys like living here?
00:44:28Harper, could you leave things where they are, please?
00:44:36We teach a couple blocks away.
00:44:38It's okay.
00:44:39Oh, that's right.
00:44:40How's Teach for America going?
00:44:45It's hard.
00:44:47It's really hard.
00:44:48You can't reach these kids.
00:44:50They come from a system that's broken.
00:44:52The odds are against them.
00:44:55It's an impossible environment for a teacher to work in.
00:44:59One student touched my breast.
00:45:03Wow.
00:45:04Yikes.
00:45:05Ricky is the hardest.
00:45:07He's disturbed.
00:45:08It's not his fault.
00:45:09Well, I think you guys just need to keep reminding yourselves
00:45:12that what you're doing is of great value.
00:45:15How's your work?
00:45:17Oh, I'm ready for it to be done.
00:45:20I, um, I've lost all my faith in startups.
00:45:23They're just as evil as hedge funds.
00:45:25Never again.
00:45:26Harper, could you be careful in that chair?
00:45:29I think that's the broken one.
00:45:30Okay, I just won't move at all.
00:45:32Just be careful.
00:45:34Allie, I hear you're going to Liberia soon.
00:45:37Oh, my God.
00:45:39Yeah, I'm really excited.
00:45:40Yeah, your mom seems really concerned.
00:45:42You talk to her mom?
00:45:45Of course.
00:45:47Allie is my closest friend.
00:45:49So I think it's important to keep in touch with the whole family.
00:45:53Can I use the bathroom?
00:45:55It's the door on the right.
00:45:56And don't use too much toilet paper.
00:45:58Our plumbing gets backed up.
00:46:00And no tampons!
00:46:03I'm really happy that you're joining the Peace Corps.
00:46:07I was really disappointed when you quit TFA training.
00:46:11Yeah.
00:46:12It just wasn't meant to be.
00:46:14I know it can be intimidating, but I'm really glad that you found something you can hold on to for now.
00:46:22Thanks.
00:46:23So, you guys, Harper and I have had kind of a tough day.
00:46:35Oh, no.
00:46:36It's okay now, but our bikes were stolen.
00:46:38And we were on our way to the beach.
00:46:40Um, and we were wondering if we could maybe borrow the Honda?
00:46:45Oh.
00:46:47I don't know.
00:46:49Do you have insurance?
00:46:50Of course!
00:46:51Yeah, and we'd fill it up with gas.
00:46:52We'd take really good care of it.
00:46:53I'd feel more comfortable if I came with.
00:46:56Oh, no.
00:46:57No, you don't have to do that.
00:46:58I'm a super safe driver, you remember.
00:47:00I wouldn't feel comfortable.
00:47:07Oh, my God.
00:47:15Harper, uh, Maren and Amanda are gonna drive us.
00:47:19Drive us or come with us?
00:47:20Yeah, they're gonna come with us.
00:47:23Yay!
00:47:24We're gonna have fun.
00:47:28You're good.
00:47:29I can't swim.
00:47:32Well, we'll just go on a day, okay?
00:47:35We'll go home, take a couple Xanax, have a nice weekend.
00:47:40Okay.
00:47:42Okay.
00:47:44Um, Amanda, do you have a reliable cab company?
00:47:50Yeah.
00:47:54Oh, can I, can I get the, the phone over?
00:47:57Yeah.
00:47:58Three hundred years ago, there existed two girls named Maren and Amanda.
00:48:02They affected no change in their lifetime and ate soap in the ghetto.
00:48:07They died at the age of 26 when they passed away while taking a nap.
00:48:11Nobody remembers them today.
00:48:13Monoline.
00:48:14Hi, we need a cab to the Rockaways.
00:48:17Where you at?
00:48:19Um, Flatbush and...
00:48:21some street that was renamed in honor of a few fallen firefighters whose name I can't really pronounce.
00:48:28Do you know what I'm talking about?
00:48:29Okay, five minutes.
00:48:31Five minutes.
00:48:33Thank God.
00:48:34Thank God they didn't come with us.
00:48:36Could you imagine what would have happened if they came?
00:48:39They would have cough-locked us so hard with their saltwater, brittle, scarecrow hair.
00:48:44It's actually kind of upsetting that Maren has to go through that at her place of work.
00:48:49Are they a couple?
00:48:51No.
00:48:53I don't understand, why do teachers get so fat their first year of teaching?
00:48:57Oh my God, she's not fat. You just can't get along with her.
00:49:00I'm just saying, she looks like a body pillow that's been left in storage for a couple of years.
00:49:04Oh my God, why can't you just let her be?
00:49:05Are you kidding me? There's so many things I could have said that I didn't because I'm a nice person.
00:49:11Because you wanted a car, you're not a nice person.
00:49:13Oh, okay.
00:49:18What the fuck does LFTI mean?
00:49:22Laughing... for... I don't know why.
00:49:27Russ said it.
00:49:29Oh.
00:49:32That's cute.
00:49:36Where is this cab, Allie?
00:49:44This is taking forever.
00:49:52Oh, God damn it.
00:49:54Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
00:49:56Oh, God.
00:49:58I didn't realize this was going to be such a thing.
00:50:00God damn it.
00:50:01This woman, Kiberia, just like won't stop texting me.
00:50:05Complain about it and then don't go to Liberia.
00:50:08What am I going to do?
00:50:09I guess when we get home I just...
00:50:11I fucking say we don't have any service in our house.
00:50:14God damn it.
00:50:16Where the fuck are you?
00:50:17We've been waiting for a car for 30 minutes.
00:50:20Fuck.
00:50:22Five minutes.
00:50:23This is so horrible.
00:50:26It's not my...
00:50:28Oh.
00:50:31Get in, get in, get in, get in.
00:50:32Come on.
00:50:33Where are you going?
00:50:35We're going to Fort Tilden.
00:50:36It's in the Rockaway.
00:50:37Okay, great.
00:50:38Let's go.
00:50:39How much?
00:50:40100.
00:50:41Get in.
00:50:42What?
00:50:43$100?
00:50:44Seriously?
00:50:45This ride is an amazing ride.
00:50:46DVD players, get in.
00:50:47Come on.
00:50:48We didn't ask for like a luxury vehicle.
00:50:49Okay, sounds good.
00:50:50Get in, 100.
00:50:51It's like two and a half miles away.
00:50:52$60.
00:50:53Yeah, no, 100.
00:50:54Come on, let's go, let's go.
00:50:55What?
00:50:56It's, it's a $100 ride.
00:50:5880, 80.
00:50:5980 plus 20, get in.
00:51:00Oh my God.
00:51:01Fuck.
00:51:02I don't have $100.
00:51:03And look, there's cup holders.
00:51:04Fine, I'll pay for it.
00:51:05We have cup holders.
00:51:06Okay, I'm going to pay $100 for cup holders.
00:51:07Okay, I'm going to pay $100 for cup holders.
00:51:08Just get in.
00:51:09We need to go.
00:51:10Let's go, let's go.
00:51:11So you know you're a fucking asshole.
00:51:13Okay, great.
00:51:14For taking advantage of us like this.
00:51:15Okay, good.
00:51:16Do you take checks?
00:51:24I feel sick.
00:51:26It's probably that rose paper macaroon.
00:51:29I need coffee.
00:51:41There's no way we could have ridden our bikes across this bridge.
00:51:48Okay.
00:51:50Remember when Benji was renting that house out here?
00:52:07Like three years ago?
00:52:09Mm-hmm.
00:52:10That was like the best sex I've ever had.
00:52:14Mm-hmm.
00:52:19Oh my God.
00:52:20I remember he was really like covered in salt.
00:52:24He had just been swimming.
00:52:26Oh God.
00:52:29Tennis court.
00:52:32Parking lot.
00:52:34Tennis court.
00:52:35Cars.
00:52:36Fence.
00:52:37Bush.
00:52:38Doors.
00:52:39Flowers.
00:52:40Park.
00:52:41Benches.
00:52:42Trees.
00:52:43Harper!
00:52:44Excuse me.
00:52:47Do you have a problem or something?
00:52:54No.
00:52:55No.
00:52:56I don't have a problem.
00:52:57I just could use some quiet, some silence until we get to the beach and I'll be fine.
00:53:02Okay?
00:53:03That's good.
00:53:04Don't confront anything that's healthy.
00:53:05I don't have anything to confront.
00:53:06My brain just needs like three quiet minutes.
00:53:07I'll time it.
00:53:10I'll time it.
00:53:11It really hurt my feelings the other night when you got all offended when the twins were
00:53:17said to me.
00:53:18It really hurt my feelings the other night when you got all offended when the twins were
00:53:23said that we were like twins.
00:53:36Do you want to be twins?
00:53:37No, but when you talk all that shit about like Maren and Amanda it makes me feel like
00:53:42you're saying those things about me.
00:53:44It makes me feel like you're like embarrassed of me.
00:53:55Well I didn't intend to make you feel that way and it's not my fault that you took it there.
00:54:00And that girl, that fucking girl, the sub letter, you know she sucks.
00:54:05So I don't understand why you like pretend like she's your best friend after 30 seconds
00:54:09of meeting her.
00:54:10You should really speak up when things are bothering you instead of holding them in all
00:54:14day.
00:54:15God, I hate this Kabiria woman so much.
00:54:21Like what does this mean?
00:54:23You wouldn't take it if you didn't want to.
00:54:26Why would I want this?
00:54:28Because it's all you know.
00:54:31Oh my God, I can't even look anymore.
00:54:39What did you just do?
00:54:52This is how you take control.
00:54:54Are you fucking kidding me?
00:54:56You should be thanking me right now.
00:54:58Pepper, you don't know anything about this process.
00:55:00I know you're already letting her walk all over you.
00:55:03You have to let these people do what they're going to do.
00:55:06I, you could have really fucked this up for me just now.
00:55:09I told you not to come to the beach.
00:55:11God, Kabiria is my, she's my like, my main contact there.
00:55:18I, sometimes you just have to take punches from people.
00:55:21Oh God, that is such a sad and unhealthy worldview.
00:55:25No, no.
00:55:27I do things and I don't do things for a reason.
00:55:31I hate her obviously, but she's my ally and I have to be comfortable with that.
00:55:36Comfortable.
00:55:37You're going to be really comfortable in Africa.
00:55:39Sure.
00:55:40She's going to cut me from the program.
00:55:42No, she won't.
00:55:43What?
00:55:44God.
00:55:45I just, can we just not talk?
00:56:05What's your name?
00:56:06What?
00:56:07I'm not talking to you.
00:56:10Sir, what's your name?
00:56:13Oh, it's Samrat.
00:56:15Hi, Samrat.
00:56:16Where are you from?
00:56:18India.
00:56:19What part?
00:56:20Bengal.
00:56:21Oh, what part of Bengal?
00:56:23Calcutta.
00:56:24I've been to Calcutta.
00:56:25Oh God, I love it there.
00:56:27I was so sad when Satya J. Ray died.
00:56:31Uh, yeah, we all were.
00:56:34Amar Nam Harper.
00:56:36Okay, okay, that, that, good, good, good for you.
00:56:40Yes.
00:56:41I also spent a lot of time in Goa.
00:56:43Oh really?
00:56:44My, my wife's family is from there.
00:56:46Ah, she's so blessed.
00:56:47I love it there.
00:56:48The air is so thick and sweet.
00:56:50I still have dreams about it.
00:56:52I wish I could have spent more time there, but I had to go to a wedding with my father in Hyderabad.
00:56:57So does your father come to India often?
00:56:59Yeah, his business is there.
00:57:01Oh really?
00:57:02What kind of business?
00:57:03Uh, they basically do everything.
00:57:05It's called Reese Culpepper.
00:57:06And yeah, they, they do everything.
00:57:11Oh.
00:57:13Well, why are we stopped?
00:57:14Is this it?
00:57:18Please get out of my car right now.
00:57:21What are you talking about?
00:57:22What?
00:57:23I don't understand.
00:57:24No, open the door and get out, now.
00:57:27Um, okay.
00:57:28We're going to Fort Tilden.
00:57:30What are you talking about?
00:57:31I'm sorry.
00:57:32I don't understand.
00:57:33Do you know what you are?
00:57:34You are the daughter of a criminal.
00:57:35Okay?
00:57:36Your father is a criminal bully.
00:57:37And you get out now.
00:57:38Okay.
00:57:39All right.
00:57:40Okay.
00:57:41Okay.
00:57:42Take us to Fort Tilden.
00:57:43Let's just go.
00:57:44Take us to Fort Tilden, now.
00:57:45Drive the fucking car.
00:57:46Don't tell me what to do in my own car.
00:57:49Get out now.
00:57:50No.
00:57:51Get out.
00:57:52No.
00:57:53Get out.
00:57:54No.
00:57:55Get out.
00:57:56No.
00:57:57Get out of my car now.
00:57:58Drive the fucking car now.
00:57:59Drive the fucking car.
00:58:00We need to go out.
00:58:01Drive the fucking car.
00:58:02We have to get out of the car.
00:58:03We have to get out of the car.
00:58:04We're not going anywhere.
00:58:05We're not going anywhere.
00:58:06I'm not going anywhere.
00:58:07Where did you get your cell phone from, huh?
00:58:10Don't murder.
00:58:11Your cell phone.
00:58:12Oh fuck you, man.
00:58:13Don't fix me.
00:58:14Ask your father about his job in India, okay?
00:58:17Shut up! My father's not a criminal!
00:58:19My father's not a criminal!
00:58:21You know what? Ask your father how he's able to sleep at night, okay?
00:58:24Shut up!
00:58:25Fuck you! He's not a criminal! My father's not a criminal!
00:58:28You okay?
00:58:44Yeah, obviously. I'm fine.
00:58:53Which way? Should we go, do you think?
00:58:58It's not his fault people see what they want to see,
00:59:03and it's not my fault that I'm his daughter.
00:59:28I know that cars are the reason that the world is the way that it is,
00:59:33but I really miss being able to scream in my car.
00:59:35You just can't do that in New York, you know?
00:59:42Yeah, but where would you park it?
00:59:44Oh, yeah.
00:59:45I kind of feel like this guy.
00:59:47I don't know.
00:59:48I don't know.
00:59:49I don't know.
00:59:50Yeah, like, why is he so fucking close to us?
00:59:51Right?
00:59:52I don't know.
00:59:53Yeah, like, why is he so fucking close to us?
00:59:54Right?
00:59:55There was a time at the 2nd Avenue F-stop where I felt someone pulling my hair.
00:59:56I don't know.
00:59:57I don't know.
00:59:58Yeah, like, why is he so fucking close to us?
01:00:00Right?
01:00:01There was a time at the 2nd Avenue F-stop where I felt someone pulling my hair,
01:00:07but then I turned around and there was no one there.
01:00:10And it seriously happened like 6 o'clock in the morning.
01:00:15I don't know.
01:00:16I don't know.
01:00:17Yeah, like, why is he so fucking close to us?
01:00:19Right?
01:00:20There was a time at the 2nd Avenue F-stop where I felt someone pulling my hair,
01:00:25but then I turned around and there was no one there.
01:00:28And it seriously happened like 6 times.
01:00:30And when I got home, I opened my purse and there was all this coma.
01:00:34Oh, my God.
01:00:35I know.
01:00:36I had to throw out my headphones.
01:00:38Jesus.
01:00:39Okay, he's like way too close.
01:00:41Let's pick up the pace.
01:00:43When I was canvassing for Obama, there was this weirdly touchy guy who was always,
01:00:46like, dangerously close to my ass, but not enough to report it, you know?
01:00:50And then a couple months later, I was at Housing Works and I saw him opening and closing books on his dick.
01:00:55So, like, I will always trust my instincts from him.
01:00:57I have so many books from Housing Works.
01:00:59I know.
01:01:00The pace is like right behind us.
01:01:03Four and a half years ago, my aunt was walking down Lexington Avenue,
01:01:06Lexington Avenue, when a guy threw her to the ground and took a shit on her chest.
01:01:11And the next thing she remembers, she woke up in Jersey City.
01:01:14Oh, my God.
01:01:15Oh, God.
01:01:16God.
01:01:17Oh, my God.
01:01:18Help, help.
01:01:19Help!
01:01:20Help!
01:01:21Help!
01:01:22Help!
01:01:23Help!
01:01:24Help!
01:01:25Help!
01:01:26Help!
01:01:27Help!
01:01:28Help!
01:01:29Help!
01:01:30Help!
01:01:31Help!
01:01:32Help!
01:01:33Help!
01:01:34Help!
01:01:35Help!
01:01:36Help!
01:01:37Help!
01:01:38Help!
01:01:39Help!
01:01:40Help!
01:01:41Help!
01:01:42Help!
01:01:43Help!
01:01:44Help!
01:01:45Help!
01:01:46Help!
01:01:47It was really scary the shit out of us for nothing the fuck was wrong with that guy's foot. Oh
01:02:00Wait, this is a beach Wow, what a cool old theater. Is it still functioning?
01:02:08You can do whatever you want here
01:02:11What if you could like
01:02:13Bust a bunch of people out here at night and put on like a cabaret. Oh cool
01:02:18Or not a cabaret because that's stupid, but like something classic, you know
01:02:23Yeah, never mind. That's that's fucking stupid. This place is awesome. It's such a piece of shit
01:02:31Is this some is the fort back that way? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
01:02:43I
01:02:53This is like beach sand, but this doesn't look like a beach it smells
01:03:02We haven't seen a person in like I
01:03:06Don't even know
01:03:08Harper do you know where you're going?
01:03:11Well, yeah, I do. It's just taking longer than I thought
01:03:18Act like you're playing guitar
01:03:27It's cute
01:03:30I still don't see a fork
01:03:33Oh my god, that barrel looks exactly like our barrel
01:03:37Oh, that barrel does look exactly like our barrel
01:03:42Except the distress is authentic
01:03:46This day
01:03:50Excuse me, is this a fort?
01:03:54Yeah, I think that it used to be a fort
01:03:56Fort Tilden?
01:03:56No, this is Jacob Rees
01:03:58So where's Fort Tilden?
01:03:59Uh, I don't know. I think that you have to take a shuttle there
01:04:04Yeah, or a ferry
01:04:05No, we already tried that
01:04:07I'm sorry. I don't know. We don't I don't know. Good luck
01:04:12Fuck my idiot. Okay
01:04:14I really think that path from before it might have been the right path
01:04:31It's like Ted Bundy's house
01:04:35Oh, okay, this looks familiar
01:04:37We're definitely getting closer. This is like the same material the fort is made out of
01:04:45Oh my god, what?
01:04:47Kittens
01:04:48Hi
01:04:49Oh my goodness
01:04:50Hi, little man
01:04:51Oh
01:04:52Hi
01:04:53Oh cute, Allie
01:04:55Oh my god. Hi, baby
01:04:57Hi, honeys
01:04:58I won't hurt you
01:04:59Bye
01:05:00Got you little blue eyes
01:05:01Oh, this is so tragic
01:05:03Leopard dead at the beach
01:05:05We shouldn't do this
01:05:06Hi, little baby
01:05:07Hi
01:05:08What?
01:05:09They're so pretty, Allie. Look at their eyes
01:05:11Oh my god
01:05:12It's like a fancy breathe or something
01:05:14Hi, little
01:05:15Hi
01:05:16Aww
01:05:17Oh my god
01:05:18They smell good
01:05:19God, what'd we do?
01:05:23I don't know
01:05:24We can't leave them
01:05:25I know, I know
01:05:26We have to take them with us
01:05:28But
01:05:30To the beach?
01:05:32Shoot
01:05:33Okay, well maybe
01:05:36Maybe you can
01:05:37Maybe you can keep two of them
01:05:38And I can take one of them
01:05:39I can give one of them to my cousin maybe
01:05:42I don't want to split them apart
01:05:43That's cruel
01:05:44But I can't take any to Liberia with me
01:05:47I really think it's down behind those parking lot fields
01:05:50No, it's back this way
01:05:51We just have to do it right this time
01:05:53Harper, I just
01:05:54I really think it's that path that we saw before
01:05:56Are you kidding me?
01:05:58Why is that such a stupid idea?
01:06:00Does it look like a fort lives over there?
01:06:03Does it look like a fort lives over there?
01:06:09Why are you just standing there?
01:06:11Because we already know that's the wrong way
01:06:13Oh my god
01:06:14Harper
01:06:15The sun is low in the sky
01:06:17I'm tired
01:06:18And I am sick of walking up and down this fucking road that leads to nowhere
01:06:22Can we stop picking fights, please?
01:06:23I would argue that you're the one picking fights
01:06:25Wait, let's get past this passive-aggressive shit
01:06:27Oh, I'm being passive-aggressive?
01:06:29Oh, I'm being passive-aggressive?
01:06:30Do you hear that?
01:06:31It's your tone
01:06:35Be careful with the kitten
01:06:47Fuck
01:06:55Did you post that picture of me on the beach?
01:07:04How would she have seen that?
01:07:07On the internet, Harper
01:07:10She can't see my photos if she doesn't follow me
01:07:14Well, she found it
01:07:15And I asked you not to post it
01:07:17And you did it anyway
01:07:18And that's so disrespectful
01:07:20I can't control the internet for you, Allie
01:07:23God, if this gets taken away from me because of you
01:07:26I need this, Harper
01:07:28Need this for what?
01:07:29You just like to tell people about it
01:07:31God, no, that's not true
01:07:33That's so false
01:07:35You're just the only person in the world who can't get excited for me
01:07:38No, Allie, no one cares
01:07:40No one is dumb enough to think that you'll actually go through with this
01:07:43You know what? I dare you to go to the Peace Corps
01:07:45You don't have to dare me to do something I'm already fucking doing
01:07:48You're not gonna do it
01:07:50It's just one of the many exit strategies you're collecting
01:07:53This isn't an exit strategy, this is a plan
01:07:56It's a really good plan
01:07:58I'm doing something valuable
01:08:00And that's not something to be ashamed of
01:08:03I would love to see you try to make a plan
01:08:06Oh, you can't make plans in my field, it's art
01:08:09You just have to let things happen
01:08:11And what, you think that's easy or something?
01:08:13No, I think it's really hard, which is why you're not an artist
01:08:16Artists take risks and they're honest with themselves
01:08:19They don't just fucking talk shit about people who are already doing good things
01:08:25I hope that felt really good
01:08:26It really, really did
01:08:28Three hundred years ago there was a girl named Ally
01:08:37Who went to the Peace Corps because she didn't know what she was good at
01:08:40And when she came back, it hadn't solved any of her problems
01:08:43And she was just two years older
01:08:45Three hundred years ago there was a girl named Harper
01:08:48Who used up the world space and gave nothing in return
01:08:53Because she's afraid to fucking fail
01:08:55And that's the worst thing you can be as a human
01:09:04I'm done with these fucking cats
01:09:10I know, come on
01:09:12I know
01:09:23Can you make it nice for them?
01:09:24Obviously
01:09:25Here
01:09:27Shhh
01:09:28It's okay
01:09:29Don't be scared
01:09:31Be careful
01:09:32I am careful
01:09:41Okay
01:09:42What should I take?
01:09:44I know
01:09:45Oh, are you sure that's okay?
01:09:47I mean, it's better than where they came from
01:09:50If you have a better idea, no
01:09:52It's okay
01:09:53It's okay
01:09:54Bye, you guys
01:09:55It's okay
01:09:56It's okay
01:09:57We'll be back
01:10:00Get comfortable, okay?
01:10:05Okay
01:10:07I have a really good feeling about this path
01:10:09And I would like to try it
01:10:10Please
01:10:11Fine
01:10:12Let's go
01:10:13Okay
01:10:14There won't be a fort at the end of it
01:10:15Shh, whatever, Harper
01:10:16They're at the other fucking beach, they're not even at Fort Tilden
01:10:26At least we know how to get there
01:10:27Okay, so before we go, I just want to prepare you that if Russ is into me, it's not my fault
01:10:31And if he tries to get anywhere with me, I'm not going to stop him
01:10:33He texted me
01:10:34That's because he's got game and he wants to fuck your friend, not you
01:10:37Is this it?
01:10:38This is the fort
01:10:39This is the fucking fort
01:10:40This is the fucking fort
01:10:41This is the fucking fort
01:10:42Is this great
01:10:43I'm glad you got one
01:10:44Yeah
01:10:46I'm glad you were here
01:10:47I'm glad you had to go
01:10:48We'll go
01:10:49Right
01:10:50You go
01:10:51At least we know how to get there
01:10:52Okay, so before we go, I just want to prepare you that if Russ is into me, it's not my fault
01:10:57If Russ is into me, it's not my fault
01:10:59If Russ is into me, it's not my fault
01:11:00If he tries to get anywhere with me, I'm not going to stop him
01:11:02He texted me
01:11:03That's because he's got game
01:11:04And he wants to fuck your friend, not you
01:11:07Is this it?
01:11:10Well, that's great. I'm glad we found it when we don't need it.
01:11:18It's like a spaceship.
01:11:21Looks like a Chia Pet.
01:11:26Great.
01:11:38Is that them?
01:11:40It has to be, but who are those two with them?
01:11:45It can't be them.
01:11:47That's Russ, and there's the other one.
01:11:50Are they fucking topless?
01:11:52Yep.
01:11:53No.
01:12:01Hi.
01:12:02Oh, you guys actually showed up.
01:12:04Sam, you remember these girls, right?
01:12:07Have fun.
01:12:08Bye.
01:12:10How long does this usually take to, like...
01:12:13Oh, um, not very long.
01:12:15Cool.
01:12:16Yeah.
01:12:17Cool.
01:12:18Pretty quick.
01:12:19How did you get here today?
01:12:20Oh, we biked.
01:12:21Oh, wow.
01:12:22That's intense.
01:12:23Yeah, it was so nice, actually.
01:12:25Yeah, yeah.
01:12:26Oh, great.
01:12:27It was really relaxing.
01:12:28It's beautiful.
01:12:29That's great.
01:12:30You're...
01:12:31You were right.
01:12:32I kind of feel great.
01:12:33Yeah, I'm definitely cold.
01:12:35My first orgasm was in the water.
01:12:37That sounds complicated.
01:12:39Not really.
01:12:40I've just always been able to come so easily.
01:12:43You're lucky.
01:12:44Oh, my God.
01:12:45Oh, my God.
01:12:46Wait.
01:12:47I just...
01:12:48I thought my phone was ringing.
01:12:51It was just my stomach rumbling.
01:12:53What?
01:12:54This is, like, full of this...
01:12:56I want to show you something.
01:13:01Guess what this is.
01:13:03That's my dick.
01:13:07It's so cold.
01:13:08It'll get better.
01:13:09I don't want to jinx it,
01:13:10but I feel like I have a pretty good chance
01:13:11of getting into Northwestern.
01:13:12You know, just because my dad went there and everything.
01:13:15I don't know.
01:13:16It's...
01:13:23Yeah.
01:13:24I'm gonna watch you come.
01:13:28I'm trying.
01:13:29I'm trying.
01:13:36Can you stop?
01:13:37Please, can you stop?
01:13:43Touch me.
01:13:44Yo, fuck this.
01:13:45Bitch, this is so fucked up.
01:13:47I don't want Mia to get jealous.
01:13:48Fuck this.
01:13:49I'm sorry.
01:13:50It's so fucking cold.
01:13:51I just gotta go right now.
01:13:52I'm sorry.
01:13:54Fuck.
01:13:55Are you kidding me?
01:14:24Hey.
01:14:35I'm not usually wrong about people.
01:14:37Russ and I were, like...
01:14:39Like, perfectly cool and just flirty both ways.
01:14:45And then he flipped out on me.
01:14:46They were teenagers.
01:14:47Sage and Mia?
01:14:48God, that's so apprehensible.
01:14:49No.
01:14:50Douchebags.
01:14:51No.
01:14:52All of them.
01:14:53They were all teenagers.
01:14:54Not Russ.
01:14:55Not Russ.
01:14:56No.
01:14:57No.
01:14:58No.
01:14:59No.
01:15:00All of them.
01:15:01They were all teenagers.
01:15:02Not Russ.
01:15:03Not Russ.
01:15:10You and I
01:15:36Where are we at TV?
01:15:40Dinners and holes in the floor
01:15:45But when you and I would hold each other
01:15:50Every night it'd reach a fever pitch
01:15:54That's when we knew we were rich
01:16:00Now you're gone
01:16:03I'm going crazy
01:16:07I guess I don't know what teenagers look like anymore
01:16:21Where are you going?
01:16:26Williamsburg
01:16:27Now that we are done
01:16:37The days are distant
01:16:40And the night is far long
01:16:44Remember when we used to buy
01:16:49Each other things we never could afford
01:16:53That's when we knew
01:16:57We were smart
01:16:59Clouds in Phuket move so fast
01:17:03A summer essay by Sage
01:17:06911, what's your emergency?
01:17:27Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right number to call
01:17:30Ma'am, what's your emergency?
01:17:31Well, it's not an emergency emergency
01:17:34But I'm at Fort Tilden
01:17:36And I saw two young women
01:17:38Leave a litter of kittens in a trash can
01:17:41At where?
01:17:43At Fort Tilden in the Rockaways
01:17:45Oh, okay
01:17:46Okay
01:17:47What's your name, ma'am?
01:17:49Uh, Harper Culpepper
01:17:52Okay, Harper
01:17:53So I'm going to send animal control over
01:17:55But in the meantime
01:17:56Could you please
01:17:58Take those kittens
01:17:59Out of the trash can
01:18:00Okay?
01:18:01Is this the best number to reach you at?
01:18:04Oh, well, the thing is
01:18:05My phone's going to die
01:18:06And I had to go
01:18:08Yeah, but it's about to rain
01:18:10I know
01:18:11Oh, my God
01:18:13Those poor baby kittens
01:18:14My phone's going to die
01:18:17Those kittens are going to drown
01:18:18Who would do something like that?
01:18:21I don't know
01:18:21Where are you at right now?
01:18:23I'm just walking
01:18:25And it's, um, outside
01:18:28Finally
01:18:39Gross
01:18:43You girls like to go clubbing?
01:18:46You like house music?
01:18:48No
01:18:48It's too bad
01:18:51My boy's spinning tonight at my club
01:18:54You have a club?
01:18:56Yes, this is all I do
01:18:57This is my joy
01:18:59Where's your license?
01:19:08You want to see my license?
01:19:11Are you not a cab?
01:19:13No, club is all I do
01:19:15We called for a cab
01:19:18I am a multi-cab driver
01:19:20Okay
01:19:23Um
01:19:25Well, this is our rape moment
01:19:28I'm going to have a Xanax
01:19:30You want a Xanax?
01:19:31Yes, please
01:19:32Thank you
01:19:37Don't like me
01:19:40How much?
01:19:50I don't know
01:19:51How much?
01:19:52It was 100 to get out there
01:19:54Okay
01:19:55Why did I even say that?
01:19:58Where are you going?
01:20:27Hey, Allie
01:20:37Hey
01:20:37How was the beach?
01:20:39Oh, fucking shitty
01:20:40Sorry to hear that
01:20:42It's fine
01:20:43Where's the bike?
01:20:48Well
01:20:49That's the thing
01:20:50I just left it
01:20:55Where are you leaving?
01:20:56I, I, you know
01:20:57I, I just
01:20:58I left it
01:21:03Because
01:21:04I, I just didn't want to deal with it
01:21:07So I, um
01:21:08I left it in the ghetto
01:21:10Uh
01:21:12Hidden
01:21:13Uh
01:21:15Under a bunch of trash
01:21:17Can you go get it?
01:21:19I, I, I mean
01:21:22If I was going to get it
01:21:25I would have gotten it
01:21:26Already
01:21:27You know
01:21:27I can tell you where it is
01:21:29Kind of
01:21:31I'm sorry
01:21:34I, I, I don't understand
01:21:38Why
01:21:40Are you not going to give me back
01:21:44The bike that I lent to you
01:21:46Listen
01:21:46I said I'm sorry
01:21:49Okay
01:21:50Could you get it
01:21:54Before you leave
01:21:55Or
01:21:55I, uh
01:21:56I don't know about Liberia
01:21:58Now
01:22:00You know what
01:22:00It's not going to happen
01:22:01I'm not going anywhere
01:22:03I don't know what I'm suited for
01:22:04Maybe you should take a spa day
01:22:09You work so hard
01:22:10Am I going to see you before Geneva?
01:22:13What do you need?
01:22:15I don't know
01:22:16I guess I don't need anything
01:22:17You've got to get yourself a Tempur-Pedic for your bed
01:22:21I've been sleeping so well
01:22:23But how did you do things at my age?
01:22:26How did you get your life to move?
01:22:29Well, it depends on your calling
01:22:30You're a dreamer, sweetie
01:22:32You can't ignore your gift
01:22:34My gift is that I'm a dreamer?
01:22:36Look, Angel
01:22:36I got a check-in for my flight
01:22:38I told Linda to put that money in your account
01:22:40No, that's not
01:22:41I'm like
01:22:41I'm trying to be serious
01:22:43What is it?
01:22:45I don't know
01:22:45I guess I just wish we could get, like, dinner or something
01:22:48You know, I'd love that
01:22:50It's just the timing
01:22:51There's no time
01:22:52Yeah, I gotta go
01:22:54I love you, sweetheart
01:22:56I live only for you
01:22:58Toast
01:23:13The twins sent us a song
01:23:26I don't want to hear it
01:23:28Then don't listen
01:23:30Mr. Ice cream cone
01:23:47Why do I feel so alone?
01:23:51There are people everywhere
01:23:56This is tediously adorable
01:24:04This is tediously adorable
01:24:04Mr. Ice cream cone
01:24:10Summer, summertime
01:24:15Bring me a memory
01:24:18Through old night's eye
01:24:20Summer, summer, summer time
01:24:25Bring me a memory
01:24:27Through old night's eye
01:24:29Summer, summer, summer, summer, summer, summer
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