- 3 months ago
This comedy, based on the book by Colin Butts, follows the adventures of a group of holiday reps from a 18-30 like club during one season in Ibiza. Very much of its time, the film stays true to the book with an abundance of sex and drugs.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00so what do you think I can't believe you that's the sickest thing it was just a
00:00:16suggestion you know try something new you know something adventurous you want
00:00:21me to have a threesome with my best friend perverted
00:00:30it doesn't have to be your best friend no we could pick up a prostitute or something
00:01:00so
00:01:07so
00:01:14so tell me what happened I told her I needed me space I mean I'm young I need someone who's
00:01:42gonna grow with me try new things she dumped you when you asked for a threesome no no no it was a
00:01:46mutual she dumped you no we both felt that Brad she dumped you and you figured out you'd have
00:01:53more chance of a threesome in Ibiza is that it well with a bust load of fanny turning up every two
00:01:57weeks chances have got to be better than a saturday night down the local ain't they Ibiza mate
00:02:02three two one
00:02:07spanish birds are fit bro yeah how do you think they know a holiday rips well if not Mario I'm sure
00:02:12you'll pointed out to him mate yeah well these shag tags man they're like a license to fuck bro hey Mario can do us a favour mate yes mate anything you like stop calling us bro
00:02:19yeah look here's the girls
00:02:26yeah look here's the girls
00:02:28do you reckon they shag
00:02:30yeah coach sake though ain't much good to you though would I
00:02:32I could have no sweat you can't screw the crew Mario it seems to be dismissed
00:02:34yeah I know all that if you could they be begging for it bro
00:02:39you're a rep drinks are free
00:02:42you're a rep drinks are free
00:02:46I don't know what you can't screw the crew Mario it seems to be dismissive
00:02:48yeah I know all that but if you could they'd be begging for it bro
00:02:53Yeah, I know all that, but if you could, they'd be begging for it, bro.
00:02:58You're a rep.
00:02:59Drinks are free.
00:03:00Okay.
00:03:02She's great, isn't it?
00:03:03I know.
00:03:03I haven't been out of paper anything since I finished training.
00:03:05So she's got the right on.
00:03:06So I followed in after her and I said, you know, what's the matter?
00:03:08And she says, you called me stupid.
00:03:11And I said, I said, no, I didn't.
00:03:13I said, I'm going to fuck you, stupid.
00:03:16Is her guide dog watching?
00:03:18What?
00:03:19Don't cane it too hard tonight just because you've finished training.
00:03:22The client starts arriving tomorrow, so no hangovers, please.
00:03:28Well, it's a great season, everyone, eh?
00:03:30Cheers.
00:03:30Let's have a latte.
00:03:31Yes!
00:03:39Going for a good time, mate.
00:03:40Yes, mate.
00:03:41This is what it's all about, Luis, smoking by the sea.
00:03:49That's what I say, mate.
00:03:50No, no, no.
00:03:51Ni te muevas.
00:03:54Vení con nosotros, acompáñanos.
00:03:57¿Eran estos chicos?
00:03:58No, que no eran esos dos.
00:03:59Sorry.
00:04:01We have made a mistake.
00:04:02Come.
00:04:02We'll take you home.
00:04:03No, no, no, coño.
00:04:05No te enteras.
00:04:06No, no, coño.
00:04:07No te enteras.
00:04:08Estaban bebiendo vino y comiendo pollo.
00:04:36Y ellos no han sido.
00:04:37It's okay.
00:04:38Listen, you two are lucky.
00:04:39I've convinced them not to press charges.
00:04:41Alison, I think you may have misheard.
00:04:43I know what he said.
00:04:44He said pollo, which is cock.
00:04:46He said pollo, which is chicken.
00:04:49Polla, ah, is cock.
00:04:51Right, well, that might be so, but he said blanco, which is white.
00:04:54Vino blanco, Alison, which is white wine.
00:04:57So you didn't expose yourself?
00:04:58No, no, I did not.
00:04:59Two guys ran off without paying for some chicken.
00:05:01It was a case of mistaken identity.
00:05:04Muy bien.
00:05:05Buenas noches.
00:05:06Cheers, mate.
00:05:07Buenas noches.
00:05:08Buenas noches.
00:05:12Well, obviously, I'm going to have to go down the police station in the morning and sort
00:05:15this little lot out.
00:05:16Brad, you're on airport duty in two hours' time.
00:05:18And you, I hope tonight's taught you something.
00:05:20What are you doing in my room?
00:05:44Um, this is my room.
00:05:47Room 121?
00:05:48That's what my mum wants, huh?
00:05:51Oh, is it?
00:05:52Oh, sorry.
00:05:54I, um, had a bit too much to drink tonight.
00:06:12Do you mind if my friend joins us?
00:06:18Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, what the f-
00:06:25Come on, Brad, we've got to get moving.
00:06:37First touchdowns in an hour.
00:06:39Yeah, yeah.
00:06:40This is your first time at the airport, then?
00:07:05No.
00:07:08Yes.
00:07:09Yeah, is it that obvious?
00:07:10Yeah, I'm afraid so.
00:07:12I'm Carmen.
00:07:13Brad, Brad.
00:07:15So what got me away?
00:07:16Well, that's easy.
00:07:18It's at least 15 minutes till the passengers come through, but you've been stood here since
00:07:21they announced the flight.
00:07:22Right, so who do you work for?
00:07:24Cheers, my lot.
00:07:25I've got to go.
00:07:25Good luck.
00:07:26Yeah, thanks.
00:07:26Thanks a lot.
00:07:27Yeah.
00:07:27Cheers.
00:07:27Just up here, mate.
00:07:46Look, go straight at them dogs.
00:07:48Straight down.
00:07:48Lovely.
00:07:49Cheers.
00:07:49Just follow in, mate.
00:07:50Excuse me.
00:07:51My mate's not feeling well.
00:07:52I think it's up in shape.
00:07:53All right, all right.
00:07:53Hold on.
00:07:54Just give me one second.
00:07:56Greg!
00:07:57Greg, Greg, look, this girl's feeling a bit sick.
00:08:02Couldn't solve it out for me, could you?
00:08:03Yeah, yeah, don't you?
00:08:04Just get her bags under the cocktail.
00:08:06Good man, good man.
00:08:07All right, let's get going straight up there, yeah?
00:08:09You're not feeling so good, no?
00:08:10No, we'll look after you.
00:08:14Well, mate, it'll be all right, won't you see?
00:08:16Yeah, yeah, Greg's one of our oldest reps.
00:08:18She's in safe hands, mate.
00:08:20Trust me.
00:08:27Are you all right, babes?
00:08:29Yeah, I'm just waiting on one.
00:08:30She's feeling a bit sick.
00:08:31Greg was helping her in the toilet.
00:08:33Well, I'm helping him down.
00:08:35What?
00:08:38You all right, babe, yeah?
00:08:42Right, so...
00:08:43Where's the microphone?
00:08:46Jesus, you bust my eardrum, you stupid cockney wanker.
00:08:58Welcome to New Yorker!
00:08:59We're meant to be in Ibiza.
00:09:01Now we know who the twat is, we can get on with it.
00:09:03Welcome to Ibiza, everyone.
00:09:05Next week, they're going to change your lives,
00:09:07so let's get ready to party!
00:09:09Come on!
00:09:10We don't really need a crowd to help the party
00:09:34Just the funk of needing you to get me started and on
00:09:39We'll dance the night away
00:09:43We're having a bit more
00:09:48The heart has just begun, yeah
00:09:53I tell you what, there's some talent here today, mate.
00:09:57I don't let that up to me.
00:09:58Well, they might look like a bunch of Mingus to the untrained eye,
00:10:00but wait till the bar crawls.
00:10:01I tell you what, this thing can sniff out a shag at 30 feet, mate.
00:10:06Hope you took precautions at the airport.
00:10:07Yeah, yeah, I didn't give me number.
00:10:09Brad, any chance of getting on with things, please?
00:10:10Yes, yes, I'm going, I'm going now.
00:10:16Right, my name's Brad, and I'm your ever-friendly, ever-smiling rep
00:10:19from Young, Free and Single,
00:10:21the most wildest holiday package in Ibiza.
00:10:24Now, raise your glasses,
00:10:26and I'll teach you the Spanish for cheers.
00:10:29Salute, salute, salute!
00:10:30Salute!
00:10:30Salute!
00:10:31Wow!
00:10:33And there's plenty more where that came from.
00:10:34Now, this is Sid.
00:10:36Now, Sid's here to make sure that you pay attention.
00:10:39So that nobody echoes me.
00:10:41Anybody gets leery, he spits.
00:10:43Now, you have been warned.
00:10:45Now, some basic rules.
00:10:49Be polite to anyone who's serving you food,
00:10:51especially if it's a rep,
00:10:52because you never know which one of us has been tossing the salad.
00:10:54So watch out for the mayonnaise, wouldn't you?
00:10:56Now, most of the staff here speak English.
00:10:59Isn't that right, Frank?
00:11:00Yes, you're bloody welcome.
00:11:01On a serious note,
00:11:03I know that some of yous are going to be tempted
00:11:05to use illegal substances while you're here.
00:11:07If any of yous are caught with anything,
00:11:09then you'll be made to share it with us,
00:11:12you greedy bastards.
00:11:16Seriously, though,
00:11:16do not risk getting in trouble with the police.
00:11:18Now, before we go any further,
00:11:20I'd better introduce you to the crew.
00:11:21We've got the super-sexy Heather,
00:11:23if you like to party.
00:11:24Lorraine, who'll help you recover the next day.
00:11:27Mario, who'll only break your heart.
00:11:29Mikey, who'll kiss it better.
00:11:30And Greg, who'll kiss anything.
00:11:32You're all savages, every single one of yous.
00:11:35You've so come to the right place.
00:11:36Young Korean single.
00:11:37Let's have it, love.
00:11:39Please.
00:11:40Come on.
00:11:41Come on.
00:11:42Let's have it.
00:11:43Let's have it.
00:11:44Let's have it.
00:11:44Let's have it.
00:11:49Everybody.
00:11:54Don't, don't, don't.
00:11:57We'll show you back all night.
00:12:00Don't, don't, don't.
00:12:01See you then, then, darling.
00:12:02All right, please.
00:12:03Right.
00:12:04See you later.
00:12:06Dad, you were brilliant.
00:12:07You know that bit when you got Frank to call you a wanker?
00:12:09That was wicked, wasn't it?
00:12:10Thanks a lot, mate.
00:12:10Really good for a first time.
00:12:11How are you holding up?
00:12:12I'm knackered.
00:12:13I've got a flight in two hours,
00:12:14then I've got a bar crawl,
00:12:15and then I've got a flight first in the morning.
00:12:16I just don't know when I'm going to sleep.
00:12:18I heard he did really well explaining those excursions.
00:12:20How were the sales?
00:12:21By 84%.
00:12:22Well, there's room for improvement, then, isn't it?
00:12:24Yeah.
00:12:26Well, he did well, didn't he?
00:12:27Yeah, actually, can you guys just leave me and him alone?
00:12:29There's a few things in this grave with him.
00:12:30All right.
00:12:30See you later.
00:12:31Yes.
00:12:33So, Brad, how did you think your part of the welcome meeting went?
00:12:36Well, I was nervous to start,
00:12:38but once a few jokes got laughs, I was...
00:12:39By jokes, do you mean the soda siphon thing?
00:12:41I think it worked quite well,
00:12:42but I reckon I can improve it, right?
00:12:44What would you have done
00:12:44if someone had actually heckled?
00:12:46I suppose I'd have got squirted.
00:12:48Yeah, and then the place would have erupted.
00:12:50It would have been a free-for-all.
00:12:51Everyone chucking drinks all over each other.
00:12:53Now, see, if someone would have started heckling,
00:12:55I'd have wronged them, then I'd have put it to a boat.
00:12:56That way, if I did squirt someone,
00:12:59the group would have been on my side, see?
00:13:01Right, well, listen, Brad,
00:13:02you may have got top marks in your training,
00:13:03but I have got more experience.
00:13:04I've been in this job six years, OK?
00:13:06You're wrong.
00:13:06I don't want to see it again.
00:13:08It's got nothing to do with that.
00:13:09Jesus Christ, you just do as you're told.
00:13:11Who's the manager here, you or me?
00:13:12You are.
00:13:13And another thing.
00:13:14Why didn't you introduce me to the clients?
00:13:16Are you embarrassed because I'm your manager
00:13:18because I'm a woman?
00:13:19No, I just...
00:13:20Brad, you've got two ears and a mouth
00:13:23using that ratio, all right?
00:13:25Look, I don't say these things to an argument, Brad.
00:13:27I say them to help you.
00:13:29Just listen to what I've got to say,
00:13:30and one day you might be in my position, all right?
00:13:36Right, son, come on, let's go and have a walk.
00:13:38Come on.
00:13:39It should be fine, don't worry about it.
00:13:41Yeah, I know.
00:13:41It should be fine.
00:13:42No, I don't.
00:13:43Hola, Maria.
00:13:43Hola, Greg.
00:13:44Maria, this is Bradley.
00:13:46Hola, Brad.
00:13:47Hola, mate.
00:13:47What?
00:13:48So, uh, Brad will be playing with you?
00:13:51Yeah.
00:13:55Right, son, pick a cow.
00:14:04What's this it, yeah?
00:14:05Is this a legendary competition?
00:14:07Come on, my son, they're savvets, they're savvets.
00:14:11Right, what's this one, yeah?
00:14:12Uh, that's the Aston Martin.
00:14:13Well, it'll work for James Bond,
00:14:14it'll work for Bradley Street or Esquire.
00:14:16Right, what's the rules?
00:14:18Well, it's one point for the show.
00:14:19First to 50.
00:14:2150?
00:14:22So we all in them all?
00:14:23Oh, that's a fucking losing.
00:14:25I'm not interested.
00:14:27Not why I'm here.
00:14:28You'll soon change your tune, mate.
00:14:30Right, what about bonus points?
00:14:31Yeah, there's, uh, one bonus point
00:14:33for missing a pink and pointing a brown, all right?
00:14:35What are you on about?
00:14:35I think Greg's referring to the rusty bullet on Mario.
00:14:38What?
00:14:38The chocolate starfish.
00:14:40I'll go, God, me.
00:14:41If you get it in the dirt box.
00:14:43What do you mean, shoving it out of their arses?
00:14:44Are you all queer?
00:14:47Three single this way.
00:14:48Oh, God, forget it.
00:14:51What about threesomes?
00:14:53Ah, the old menage a trois.
00:14:55The holy grail men have searched for
00:14:56ever since you could watch the dad's porno movies.
00:14:58Now, listen up, you lot.
00:14:59If any of you can get enough drink down the next
00:15:01to get them through the threesome,
00:15:02it's worth five bonus points, all right?
00:15:04Can't you guys talk about anything but sex?
00:15:07Like what?
00:15:08Well, I don't know.
00:15:09Talk about the weather.
00:15:11Well, it's a nice night for a folk.
00:15:23So when do we start?
00:15:25We have started.
00:15:27You, whoever Mario, are not invited.
00:15:28Why not?
00:15:29Why can't I play?
00:15:30Because the competition requires a gentleman's agreement,
00:15:32to be honest about points scored.
00:15:34You look like a cheating, lying arsehole
00:15:36and just say anything to make up his own end.
00:15:38And you've got a tiny penis.
00:15:40Oh, the fuck are you on about?
00:15:41There ain't nothing small about my dick, mate.
00:15:43Come on, look, everyone thinks it's as large.
00:15:45I've measured mine.
00:15:46It's a niner.
00:15:48Bollocks.
00:15:48So millimetres or centimetres?
00:15:51I'll prove it any time.
00:15:52All right.
00:15:53Well, why don't we all stand around,
00:15:54and then you can get it out and verify your claim.
00:15:55Oh, yeah.
00:15:56Come on, no one's going to be out of shit.
00:15:58Get it out, get it out.
00:15:58Get it out.
00:15:58Clop it out.
00:15:59All right.
00:16:07Robots.
00:16:09Have you seen that department?
00:16:10Mario appears to be telling the truth.
00:16:12Yeah.
00:16:12You still can't play though?
00:16:13Yeah, I believe.
00:16:14This is Mario you're dealing with, eh?
00:16:15Fuck me.
00:16:19Fuck me.
00:16:20So I told him I wasn't going to do that anymore.
00:16:42You know, I'm just sick of it.
00:16:44All right.
00:16:45Hi.
00:16:47So you're working your way around all the girls in the bar, then?
00:16:50No, only the ugly ones.
00:16:51Well, you can get lost, but we're not pissed enough to take advantage of yet.
00:16:55Well, don't worry.
00:16:56I need at least another ten more pints before me standards will drop that low.
00:16:59Well, where exactly did you two meet?
00:17:01Carmen helped me out of the airport.
00:17:03This brand had a premature arrivals problem.
00:17:05Well, it happens when I get excited.
00:17:07Poor impulse control.
00:17:08Well, practice makes perfect, doesn't it?
00:17:09Well, that's why God gave you a right hand, sweetheart.
00:17:12Well, maybe you two should get a room.
00:17:17Got to go.
00:17:18Nice to see you again.
00:17:19Yeah.
00:17:27So, you know Carmen Long?
00:17:30About two years.
00:17:31She's a family rest.
00:17:36So what hotel does she work at, then?
00:17:37I just half don't know what to play time if you like.
00:17:41What?
00:17:42Oh, fuck off.
00:17:48Oi, put that pints out.
00:17:49We've been here for 40 minutes.
00:17:50Round everyone off and get them on to the next bar, all right?
00:18:00Everyone, listen up.
00:18:01Do you have anyone here from Young, Free and Single?
00:18:06Jesus Christ.
00:18:07My granny's bingo group makes more noise.
00:18:08And I said, do you have anyone here from Young, Free and Single?
00:18:16I like it.
00:18:17Now, get yourselves over to the anders where the pie's really going to get going.
00:18:20Come on, move it.
00:18:25Quick, this place is a bit of a dump, isn't it?
00:18:27Yeah, well, we go where Alison tells us to, you know what I mean?
00:18:29What time do you call this?
00:18:30You're ten minutes late.
00:18:32Are we going to stay another ten minutes?
00:18:33Come on, mate, what's your problem?
00:18:34Don't worry, man, it's going to be rocking in five minutes.
00:18:37Look at that.
00:18:38Isn't it amazing?
00:18:38Quite a wonder brand a bit of make-up can do, eh?
00:18:40Come on, son, let's get on the board here, eh?
00:18:43Let's have it.
00:18:43I'd like to get to know you a bit better.
00:19:10See you on the other side of you.
00:19:12How about my backside?
00:19:13You can watch it while I walk away.
00:19:22She is gorgeous.
00:19:25Ugh, what would I do with that?
00:19:26Come too quickly, Mario.
00:19:28You watch, you'll soon be patting my hands.
00:19:31If there's something in your hands tonight, mate, it'll be your dick.
00:19:33I'm not so sure, Brad.
00:19:34I mean, after all, Mario is a good-looking lad.
00:19:36Right, so he, um, dresses a little strange.
00:19:39Yeah, but it's an expression of his personality, eh?
00:19:41Yeah, just needs a little red nose to finish it off.
00:19:43Oh, fuck off.
00:19:45These trousers cost under and twenty quid.
00:19:47And if you paid more than the five of Mario, then you were done.
00:19:49Oh, and the fuck do you know about fashion?
00:19:53And my cousin runs one of the best clothes shops in King's Row.
00:19:55So, why don't you shop there?
00:19:57Yeah, well, uh, well, at least I can change my clothes.
00:20:01What are you gonna do about your skin?
00:20:03It's Patricia, isn't it?
00:20:28Well, hello, Mikey.
00:20:30Did you come here to tell me how 3,000 people applied for 30 jobs
00:20:35and how thrilled any girl should be if a rep tries to chat her up?
00:20:39Listen, I apologise about Mario.
00:20:42He's what we call in the trade a bit of a wanker.
00:20:44A bit of a wanker?
00:20:45OK, you're right.
00:20:46Mario's a total wanker.
00:20:48We're not all brainless idiots.
00:20:50So you need brains for this job.
00:20:52Next, you'll be telling me you need A-levels to be a rep.
00:20:55What were yours in, Mikey?
00:20:57Sunbathing and poncing drinks?
00:20:58No, I did my dissertation in those.
00:21:02My thesis was in making assumptions before you've got all the facts.
00:21:11Hey, listen up, we're going back to the hotel to get your ass in to gear.
00:21:14Come on, move in, people.
00:21:15Hey!
00:21:19Here we go.
00:21:19You all right, blights?
00:21:23So, you got a girlfriend then, Brad?
00:21:25No, no.
00:21:27I've had sex for over a year.
00:21:28Really?
00:21:28Why's that then?
00:21:30Brad, you've got to get over it, mate.
00:21:31I don't like you.
00:21:32I really don't think now's the time, is it?
00:21:34Some girl break your heart or something then?
00:21:36Uh, I'll come back here.
00:21:37Mate, you've got to move on.
00:21:40I was in love with this girl.
00:21:46Everything was going great.
00:21:48And then she dumped me for this rugby player.
00:21:51I tried everything to get her back, everything.
00:21:55Two of his mates jumped me, and they kicked the shit out of me.
00:21:59You poor thing.
00:22:00Do you know, I was in the hospital for ten weeks.
00:22:01Ten weeks.
00:22:03They said I'd never be able to get another erection.
00:22:04So they put this bar in it.
00:22:08Keeps it standing to attention.
00:22:10Stiff as a poker.
00:22:12Night and day.
00:22:13So how do you have sex?
00:22:15I haven't.
00:22:17I mean, what if they start laughing at me?
00:22:20What if I can't take it?
00:22:22Mate, leave it.
00:22:23Excuse me, I'm really sorry, mate.
00:22:25I'm sorry.
00:22:26He's really sensitive, mate.
00:22:46Trab, I think I might be able to help.
00:22:49What?
00:22:50What do you reckon?
00:22:51I'm a nurse back home.
00:22:55Well, come.
00:22:56Come on, let's just see what you're doing.
00:23:05I'll give you a hand.
00:23:09Can you feel that?
00:23:10I mean, is it that odd all the time?
00:23:14Yeah, yeah.
00:23:15All I have to do is just, like, just bend it forwards.
00:23:19Does it feel any different now?
00:23:22I don't know.
00:23:23It's hard.
00:23:24It's hard to tell.
00:23:26Linda, could I just...
00:23:29No, I'm sorry.
00:23:30Go on.
00:23:30Could I ask you a huge favour?
00:23:32It's just...
00:23:34I haven't...
00:23:35It's just...
00:23:36I haven't come since the operation, and...
00:23:41You bastard.
00:23:44I knew you were lying.
00:23:46I'm sorry.
00:23:46We make a great team.
00:24:01It was like...
00:24:02telepathy.
00:24:04Yeah, it was a laugh.
00:24:07Look, them birds was all over you.
00:24:08Why don't you come in on this competition?
00:24:10Brad, I've already told you, mate.
00:24:12I ain't interested.
00:24:13Just rather sleep with one girl 20 times than 20 girls once.
00:24:17Well, that's why you've come to our beta, is it?
00:24:21Right now, all I want to do is have a laugh.
00:24:25And a threesome.
00:24:26Oh.
00:24:26I have a dream.
00:24:28I'm going on, jeeps.
00:24:37Yes.
00:24:40Right, lads.
00:24:45You can go in front of me, you can turn that music out, please.
00:24:49I can't hear you, mate.
00:24:49It's too loud.
00:24:54Yeah!
00:24:56Enough for that fucking shite.
00:25:02Right, listen up.
00:25:04The beach party starts pretty soon, so get yourselves down to the beach and sort yourselves
00:25:07out, right?
00:25:08And that's for you three.
00:25:08I tell you what, I'm going to throw that much fucking beer down your necks at this beach
00:25:11party, because you're going to be so fucking pissed, you won't know the difference between
00:25:14Megadeth and the fucking Spice Girls.
00:25:16Yeah!
00:25:16Yeah!
00:25:17Yeah!
00:25:26One point, brotherly.
00:25:27Nice one time.
00:25:28But I'm still in the lead, though, mate, you see?
00:25:29Put me down for a point.
00:25:30Oh, what do you think?
00:25:31I don't know, Greg.
00:25:32What do you think?
00:25:33I don't know, Greg.
00:25:34What do you think?
00:25:35I don't know, Greg.
00:25:36What do you think?
00:25:37It's much more fun watching him squirm, isn't it?
00:25:38Yeah, absolutely.
00:25:39Oh, come on, Greg.
00:25:40What's the matter with you?
00:25:41What's the matter with you?
00:25:42You're afraid of some serious competition?
00:25:43I'm terrified, mate.
00:25:44Money on me also, and I'll tell you what.
00:25:45You're making me Lorraine, you're on the board.
00:25:46Lorraine?
00:25:47Oh, no, mate, look at her.
00:25:48I swear she's a nun.
00:25:49I'd have more chance with a lesbian.
00:25:50Oh, well.
00:25:51Oh, well.
00:25:52Oh, well.
00:25:53Oh, well.
00:25:54Oh, well.
00:25:55Oh, well.
00:25:56Oh, well.
00:25:57Oh, well.
00:25:58Oh, well.
00:25:59Oh, well.
00:26:00Oh, well.
00:26:01Oh, well.
00:26:02Oh, well.
00:26:03Oh, well.
00:26:04Oh, well.
00:26:05Oh, well.
00:26:06Oh, well.
00:26:07Oh, well.
00:26:08Oh, well.
00:26:09Oh, well.
00:26:10Just like that image there, you know.
00:26:15So, Lorraine, it is.
00:26:17Get your boots under the bed and you're in.
00:26:36Ah, Patricia, you were coming and playing the game, weren't you, babe?
00:26:38No.
00:26:39Oh.
00:26:40Come on, let's bottle of wine.
00:26:41I'll even carry you.
00:26:42I'll carry you over.
00:26:43No, it's fine.
00:26:44Come on.
00:26:45Come on.
00:26:46We'll take it.
00:26:47We'll go together.
00:26:48Oh.
00:26:49He is unbelievable.
00:26:50He thinks he can just snap his fingers and I'll fall back with my legs split open.
00:26:55Yeah, well, Mario's harmless enough.
00:26:57Just want to win this stupid competition.
00:26:59Competition?
00:27:00Yeah, you know, so you can sleep with as many girls as possible.
00:27:03And you're not?
00:27:04Oh, definitely not.
00:27:05Oh.
00:27:06Oh.
00:27:07So why are you here then?
00:27:08Basically, I, um, got shafted on a business deal.
00:27:12Yeah, I lost all my money.
00:27:15Needed to get away.
00:27:17So I'm definitely not here to add notches to my bedpost.
00:27:21So you're saying you don't want to sleep with me?
00:27:24No.
00:27:25Well, yeah, no.
00:27:26Um, look, Patricia, can I take my foot out and start again?
00:27:30Give it your best shot, Mikey.
00:27:32Well, I'm attracted to you, but not in that sort of way.
00:27:35Oh, I get it.
00:27:37You want to get to know the real me.
00:27:39Share thoughts about world hunger.
00:27:41Become my soul mate in two weeks.
00:27:43Is that it?
00:27:50Patricia, look, I know I'm making a book of myself and all those things you said, they're
00:27:53all corny and crazy, but the long and short of it is that they do find you attractive.
00:27:57And even though sleeping with you isn't at the top of my agenda, I'd be lying if I said
00:28:01that it hadn't crossed my mind.
00:28:03Hi, Mikey.
00:28:04Get your ass over here.
00:28:18Oh, cheers, Mario.
00:28:19What?
00:28:20We haven't really had a chance to chat, me and you.
00:28:23No, I guess we haven't.
00:28:24Both of you are a bit busy, eh?
00:28:26Well, it's not because I ain't wanted to.
00:28:27Yeah, me too.
00:28:28You've caught some sun.
00:28:29What?
00:28:30Makes you look sexy.
00:28:31Yeah.
00:28:32Compared to most of the girls here, I don't look all right, old scrubber.
00:28:33You shouldn't put yourself down.
00:28:34Now, listen.
00:28:35You're a beautiful, beautiful girl.
00:28:36Want some wine?
00:28:37That'd be lovely, babe.
00:28:38Yeah.
00:28:39There you go.
00:28:40Cheers.
00:28:41Cheers.
00:28:42Cheers.
00:28:43So how are you finding the job?
00:28:44Oh, I love it.
00:28:45You know, I'll figure a few years as this and graduate up to resort manager and then back
00:28:49to England to work at head office.
00:28:50Oh, that's great.
00:28:51I really want to make a go of it.
00:28:52You know, I really want to make a go of it.
00:28:53You know, I love, you see Taika.
00:28:54What?
00:28:55You know, I thought, you know.
00:28:56You invited me up here.
00:28:57Yeah, yeah, I know.
00:28:58It's just, er, I like to build up to things, you know, get in the mood.
00:29:01Sure, right, yeah, no, it's all right.
00:29:02You know, I figure a few years as this and graduate up to resort manager
00:29:06and then back to England to work at head office.
00:29:08That's great.
00:29:09Yeah, I really want to make a go of it.
00:29:10You know, I love easy tiger.
00:29:13What?
00:29:14I thought, you know, you invited me up here.
00:29:17Yeah, yeah, I know.
00:29:18It's just, well, I like to build up to things.
00:29:21You know, get in the mood.
00:29:23Sure, all right, yeah.
00:29:24No, that's all right.
00:29:24I understand.
00:29:28So is it true what they say about your, er...
00:29:31Absolutely.
00:29:32Would you get it out for me and let me see it?
00:29:35What?
00:29:36Well, just, you know, let me see it.
00:29:40But, you know, what?
00:29:52Yeah.
00:29:54Uh, yeah, Mary, I want you to sit over there where I can, er, watch you touch yourself.
00:30:01What are you on about?
00:30:02Well, you know, don't touch yourself.
00:30:05It would really turn me on watching you.
00:30:06I, er...
00:30:07Well, I'll join in later.
00:30:09Promise.
00:30:09You dirty bitch.
00:30:14You want a piece of me, do you?
00:30:16Yeah.
00:30:17You want a piece of Mario, do you?
00:30:20Oh, I bet you love it dirty, don't you?
00:30:25Dirty and sweaty and scratchy and dirty but nice.
00:30:30I'm a paradox.
00:30:31I'm like, I'm like, I'm a poet.
00:30:32I'm like, I can run hot and cold, hot and cold and soft and hardened.
00:30:36Mario.
00:30:37Mario, there's something else I want you to do for me.
00:30:40Okay.
00:30:41Can you put these on?
00:30:41Mario.
00:30:42It's a mess, yeah?
00:30:43I can't help it.
00:30:44I can't help.
00:30:45I can't help it.
00:30:46No, no, I can't help at all.
00:30:47Mario.
00:30:48Oh, I know.
00:30:49Mario.
00:30:51Oh, that's...
00:30:53Oh, no.
00:30:59You did it.
00:31:01Nah, you must be kidding.
00:31:03That's what it was on.
00:31:05He was at the door like a flash.
00:31:07All right, that's two points for the underwear.
00:31:09And one for howling like a dog.
00:31:11Right.
00:31:13Who's next?
00:31:15Sorry.
00:31:17So, Greg, I've been thinking, mate.
00:31:19Ain't gonna be much of a competition, is it?
00:31:21If we keep scoring points off the same bird.
00:31:23What were you saying?
00:31:25What I'm saying is...
00:31:27is that once she's been done,
00:31:29she's off the board.
00:31:31What, so no-one else can get any more points off her?
00:31:33First one to her gets a goal.
00:31:35No second place.
00:31:39That young Bradley is genius, mate.
00:31:41It's him.
00:31:43Of course it's him.
00:31:47It's him.
00:31:51Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you all to give three cheers to Greg.
00:31:53He's at the back of the bus there.
00:31:55His wife just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
00:31:59Absolutely beautiful.
00:32:01Hip hip.
00:32:03Hooray!
00:32:05Hip hip.
00:32:07Hooray!
00:32:09Hooray!
00:32:11Right, we've got hot and cold running women.
00:32:13And you're stuck on this girl who doesn't, you know,
00:32:15excuse me for saying this, mate, really seem all that interested in you.
00:32:18Look, Brad.
00:32:19All I know is I'm not interested in mating a girl I can't be asked to talk to in the morning.
00:32:23What's the point?
00:32:25Two if you're clever.
00:32:27Five if you can talk her mate into it.
00:32:29No.
00:32:31I don't know.
00:33:01I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.
00:33:05Take more than that to scare me. What can I do for you?
00:33:08I need a quick word but it's a bit delicate.
00:33:10OK, I'll come to my room.
00:33:12I think you do a great job. It must be really tough being a resort manager.
00:33:17Yeah, it can get hard. Has something come up? I mean, has anything popped up?
00:33:24What can I do for you, Mario?
00:33:26It's just, erm, all I say, it is a bit delicate.
00:33:30Wife, I'm probably just imagining it.
00:33:33Sit down.
00:33:35Now, listen, I'm not only your boss, I'm also your friend.
00:33:38Erm...
00:33:40It's Lorraine.
00:33:42Lorraine? What's she done?
00:33:43Well, nothing yet, it's just that she's...
00:33:45She's coming on to me.
00:33:47I think she ought to do.
00:33:50I think I'll have a word with her.
00:33:51Oh, no, no, no, you don't have to do that.
00:33:53I just wanted to make you aware of it just in case, you know, it gets out of hand.
00:33:58OK, well, if you're sure.
00:33:59But if it carries on, make sure you come and see me, all right?
00:34:01Will do.
00:34:02Cheers, Alison.
00:34:12Good-looking and clever.
00:34:15OK.
00:34:16Yeah, we'll do it.
00:34:20Good-looking and clever.
00:34:21There's a big thing on the level,
00:34:23and then we'll get up.
00:34:24Why don't you get up?
00:34:26Come and get up.
00:34:27Kids up then.
00:34:28Get up.
00:34:29You get up.
00:34:30We'll get you up.
00:34:31All right, ladies.
00:34:32Hands up.
00:34:33Straight up.
00:34:34Stand up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up,
00:34:44right ladies, hands up, straight up in here, ladies, lean forward, a little bit more, you
00:34:47ready, ready, let's have a go, let's give it a go, let's give it a go, oh goodness, Brad,
00:34:55tell me, what do you think, don't get me wrong, you're definitely a four, but I mean, here,
00:34:58we've got nice balance, they're firm, they've got good density, I have wobbly billy, and you
00:35:05know, I really do agree, but I think that your bra are impeded the movement, I'm going to
00:35:09have to give you 5.6, 5.6, I can't get you better than that, hold on, take that, oh, that is
00:35:17so much better, the support was definitely swinging things, I'm going to give them an 8, ladies
00:35:22and gentlemen, big game of standing,
00:35:28How's it going? It's not, I've tried every trick in the book here.
00:35:35Oi, you, 4 out of 10, aren't you shocking that is, I want another guy.
00:35:42Well I'm sorry, but the judges decision is final, do you know what I mean, anyway, if I touch
00:35:49your tits, your mate's going to get jealous, isn't it?
00:35:52Truly won't get jealous, will you Trudy?
00:35:54Yes.
00:35:55Oi, oi, well, so I'm both, I'm neither of you, what's it going to be?
00:35:59Let's go.
00:36:00Looks like you've got your hands full Brad, so you won't be coming to Pasha with the rest
00:36:26of us tonight.
00:36:27Listen, listen, girls, I've just got to go and make sure she's got enough tickets if
00:36:33I pass you, yeah, just wait, wait, wait.
00:36:35He's got all of them, he's got all of them, he's got all of them, he's got all of them,
00:36:41I'm telling you, he's got two of them on the go, and they're banged up for it.
00:36:45I am serious man, I walked past them twice, I didn't even look at them.
00:36:48Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:36:49Oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:36:50Oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:36:51Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:36:52Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:36:53Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:36:54Leave her man, she's a rep, she knows her score.
00:36:57Basically every day you get a five point on your hand now is it, come on.
00:37:00Oh shit.
00:37:01Yeah, have a dab of this whizzy.
00:37:03Okay a bit now.
00:37:04Right, now get them blathered and do the business, come on.
00:37:09I'll tell you what I've got a bit of one, yeah.
00:37:11Let's have one of these, eh?
00:37:12I'm alright.
00:37:13Well come on, what's the matter with you, yeah?
00:37:14Well I've never done them before, have I?
00:37:16You what?
00:37:17Yeezy's having this on mate.
00:37:18I've just never really fancied that, that's all.
00:37:21That's just no one knows what they do to you, did he?
00:37:23Greg, Greg, trust me on this one mate.
00:37:25Weeds is much worse for you.
00:37:26And booze, booze just fucks up your brain, your liver, kidneys, spleen, the lot.
00:37:29Your whole body is like one big fucking homogenous son.
00:37:32You can't come, but when you do...
00:37:34It's not going to make me a skitch or anything is it?
00:37:38No, I'll tell you what, take it off.
00:37:40If you like it, have another half late.
00:37:42What was that bit about the sexing?
00:37:44Yeah?
00:37:45Yeah?
00:37:46Yeah.
00:37:47Yeah.
00:37:48Come on.
00:37:49Come on, pop it, come on, let's have it.
00:37:50Come on, pop it.
00:37:51Let's have it.
00:37:52A bit more to do it for ages anyway.
00:37:53Come on, let's have it!
00:37:54Come on, let's have it!
00:37:55Come on, let's have it!
00:38:01Yeah, Greg, the rain's in the bag mate.
00:38:04What?
00:38:05That's right, I pulled her last night.
00:38:06Barlow!
00:38:07No, straight up!
00:38:08I'm going to need more evidence than that mate.
00:38:10Sorry.
00:38:11All right.
00:38:12Wait out!
00:38:22Yeah, Lorraine!
00:38:23Lorraine, come on down!
00:38:24Come on, Lorraine!
00:38:31You love it!
00:38:41Let's have a seat!
00:38:42That's right, yeah!
00:38:43Let's go!
00:38:44Let's go!
00:38:45Let's go!
00:38:46Let's go!
00:38:46Let's go!
00:38:55Let's go!
00:38:59Let's go!
00:39:00Let's go!
00:39:02Let's go!
00:39:04Oh!
00:39:06I don't know.
00:39:36Oh, ouch!
00:39:38Oh, I felt there.
00:39:40It's amazing the number of people who catch themselves on the edge there.
00:39:44How's your head?
00:39:45I've never had any complaints, will you tell me?
00:39:47Now we're going.
00:39:50Oh.
00:39:52Oh.
00:39:53Oh, yeah.
00:39:54Oh, that's good.
00:39:55Oh, that.
00:39:56Oh.
00:39:57Oh.
00:39:58That is good.
00:39:59That's got 150 per se per person written all over it, baby.
00:40:04250.
00:40:05Mikey!
00:40:06There you are.
00:40:08What are you doing?
00:40:10Not wimping out, are we?
00:40:11No, I was just learning about negotiating skills.
00:40:15All work and no play makes Mikey say.
00:40:19What does it make Mikey?
00:40:22Oh.
00:40:23Confused.
00:40:24Nervous.
00:40:25Nervous.
00:40:26You don't have to be nervous, Mikey.
00:40:29Not with me.
00:40:30Come on, let's take a walk.
00:40:32Five.
00:40:33Ah, 175.
00:40:34I can't go anywhere.
00:40:35Ah!
00:40:36It's just a shame.
00:40:37We've got to be the next one in a few minutes.
00:40:38Pay me 200.
00:40:39Okay, final offer.
00:40:40200 per se for every kind of ring in.
00:40:41I'll go down to that.
00:40:42And you know how much I like going down.
00:40:43Oh, yeah.
00:40:44Yeah.
00:40:45Oh, come on, baby.
00:40:46Come on.
00:40:47Oh, it's so good.
00:40:48Oh, yeah.
00:40:49200 per se per person.
00:40:50He was just getting too possessive.
00:40:51I thought he owned me.
00:40:52How long's it since he split?
00:40:53A month.
00:40:54I mean, it was hard, but...
00:40:55Well, sometimes when the soul of a relationship dies, you just gotta let it go.
00:40:58You know, you are so right.
00:40:59Sometimes you just have to move on.
00:41:00I'm not going to go down to that.
00:41:01I'm not going to go down to that.
00:41:02I'm not going to go down to that.
00:41:03And you know how much I like going down.
00:41:04Oh, yeah.
00:41:05Yeah.
00:41:06Oh, come on, baby.
00:41:07Come on.
00:41:08Oh, it's so good.
00:41:09Oh, yeah.
00:41:10200 per se per person.
00:41:11He was just getting too possessive.
00:41:12I thought he owned me.
00:41:13How long's it since he split?
00:41:14A month.
00:41:15You know, you are so right.
00:41:17Sometimes you just have to move on.
00:41:20Do something out of character.
00:41:28Come on.
00:41:29Let's go in.
00:41:45I've offered this holiday at the last minute.
00:41:49So I didn't know what to expect.
00:41:51When I first got here, I wanted to leave.
00:41:54How do you feel now?
00:41:56That pissed off on you.
00:41:58No, I don't want to leave.
00:42:00Well, sometimes the things you least expect work out for the best.
00:42:06Oh, I hope so.
00:42:08Listen, I need some less speed, mate.
00:42:09The rain.
00:42:10The rain.
00:42:11The rain.
00:42:12The rain.
00:42:13Listen, make sure you come and see me first thing in the morning, OK?
00:42:15What about?
00:42:16I had a shit and I got the best start I've ever had.
00:42:17Yeah, I'll prove for you, mate.
00:42:18I'll prove for you.
00:42:19But look, I need that speed.
00:42:20I ain't got much time, you know.
00:42:21Time?
00:42:22Time?
00:42:23What?
00:42:24What?
00:42:25It's time, bruh.
00:42:26You know, I mean, this isn't a rehearsal, you know.
00:42:27You have to make time.
00:42:28I know, I know, I know, I know.
00:42:29But look, look, look, look.
00:42:30I've got about 20 minutes to get up.
00:42:31I know.
00:42:32I know, I know, I know.
00:42:33But look, look, look, I've got about 20 minutes to get a voice point.
00:42:38I'll rear me that speed just a minute, sir.
00:42:39Yeah.
00:42:40You're a top man.
00:42:41No, see, yeah, listen.
00:42:42Listen, you.
00:42:43You are a top orcs.
00:42:44I know that, bruh.
00:42:45You are.
00:42:46Shit, man.
00:42:47You and me are going to have a fucking blinding season out of here.
00:42:50You know why?
00:42:51It's you, right?
00:42:52You're someone I can trust.
00:42:53Yeah.
00:42:54You are.
00:42:55Yeah.
00:42:56I mean, look, look.
00:42:57It's the fucking moon.
00:42:58I mean, isn't it amazing here?
00:43:00I mean, this island.
00:43:01I mean, it's sort of mystical and sort of spiritual in a way.
00:43:07You know?
00:43:08And the island's been here for millions and millions of years before we even existed.
00:43:14You know, just sat there like a...
00:43:15No, here.
00:43:16Sat there like a rock.
00:43:17You know, just there in the middle of the ocean of change.
00:43:20I don't know how many you think.
00:43:22What about the birds?
00:43:24Birds!
00:43:25I can only wait up for it all the time.
00:43:26Just love it.
00:43:27When you get fat ones, you get, what, thin ones, short and long ones.
00:43:30Just fucking mental.
00:43:31Listen, when do you think I should have the other half?
00:43:32Whoa.
00:43:33I'm done.
00:43:34I've got to grab the other half.
00:43:36Well, that's a good one.
00:43:38John!
00:43:42Over the door, go out!
00:43:44It's alright, don't worry, don't worry.
00:43:50Just that way. Just that way.
00:43:52Just crazy.
00:43:58We're gonna be there.
00:44:04Go go go go doot!
00:44:12Go go!
00:44:14We're first of all.
00:44:24The end of the day.
00:44:30For a while, we jest.
00:44:34There she goes, out like a light.
00:44:40It's all right, cos, you know, we can wake her, can't we?
00:44:44No, you've got a better chance of waking the dead.
00:44:47And if she's asleep, you can count me out.
00:44:49What? What do you mean?
00:44:51We only do this for the crack.
00:44:53I'm not into one-on-ones, we only do threesomes.
00:44:55Well, what does it tell me that for?
00:44:56Now, this is never going to go away, is it?
00:44:58Oh, don't worry, we'll just talk or something instead.
00:45:00This really reminds me of this time we went to a club.
00:45:02Me and all my mates, it's a really good club.
00:45:05All right, all right, it's enough of that.
00:45:07Let me tell you about this club.
00:45:08Really nice inside.
00:45:10A bit dodgy on the outside, but it was OK.
00:45:11We went with my mate Mandy.
00:45:13And my mate Mandy, every time she comes out,
00:45:17it's just like, we just get wasted every time.
00:45:20OK, just to kiss them.
00:45:22Let me tell you about Mandy for her.
00:45:24Oh, for fuck's sake!
00:45:25I said to her, you can't mix your drinks.
00:45:26So what does the Divi Care go and do?
00:45:28She has a diamond white and white wine.
00:45:30I said, you can't mix them.
00:45:32She's like, why not?
00:45:33They're both white.
00:45:34Listen, listen, I'm sitting here with a raging ard on, right?
00:45:37And all you can do is rub it on about the drinking preferences
00:45:40of one of your Divi mates.
00:45:41She ain't Divi.
00:45:42Well, yeah.
00:45:44Oh, she is, actually.
00:45:45I remember when I met her.
00:45:46It was at the school.
00:45:47No, actually, I don't think it was.
00:45:49Oh, look, look.
00:45:50Oh, Claire, can we do something about this, please?
00:45:53Because it's getting quite painful.
00:45:55Do you know what I mean?
00:45:56You men are so pathetic.
00:45:57Once the blood drains from your head.
00:45:59If you're getting that desperate, I don't know.
00:46:01Wanna cut through this back with something?
00:46:03cabeça
00:46:17Alison, it's the rain.
00:46:47Okay.
00:46:57Alison.
00:46:58Okay.
00:47:08Oh.
00:47:12Heard she stays.
00:47:16Sit down.
00:47:27I hope you realise you've not only shown yourself up but also the company.
00:47:30Sorry?
00:47:33What made you think someone like Mario's going to see anything in someone like you?
00:47:36What are you talking about?
00:47:37Last night, Lorraine. Everyone saw you.
00:47:39Saw me what?
00:47:40I've got to say, Lorraine, this would be so much easier if you just told the truth.
00:47:42You were kissing them.
00:47:43No, no, no.
00:47:44I didn't kiss Mario.
00:47:45You look that way to me.
00:47:46I think he's a creep, Alison.
00:47:47I wouldn't go near him.
00:47:48Listen, love.
00:47:49We understand.
00:47:50He's a good looking bloke.
00:47:51Someone like you is going to fall for him.
00:47:52I mean, he even told me.
00:47:53Told you?
00:47:54Tell me.
00:47:55What's the fucking bastard been saying about me?
00:47:56That fucking bastard, Lorraine, defended you.
00:47:59He told me you were coming on to him and I believe him.
00:48:02Coming on to him?
00:48:03No, I don't believe this.
00:48:04Can we just get Mario up here, Alison?
00:48:05Listen, love.
00:48:06Listen, love, I've thought about this long and hard and now I'm going to have to let you go.
00:48:08What?
00:48:09You know the rules about fraternising with other reps.
00:48:11Leads to bad feelings and undermines working as a team.
00:48:15You bitch.
00:48:16What?
00:48:17You don't have a clue.
00:48:18I mean, you don't care about the holiday, mate,
00:48:19because you just want to stuff as much money in your own pockets as you can.
00:48:22You make me fucking sick, Alison.
00:48:23You alright?
00:48:24You alright?
00:48:25You're alright?
00:48:26You're up a good trip, aren't I?
00:48:27Yes.
00:48:28Well, I just...
00:48:29I just don't seem to think so.
00:48:30What?
00:48:31Why?
00:48:32She just sacked me, Brad.
00:48:33What's going on?
00:48:34I just don't seem to think so.
00:48:35What?
00:48:36Why?
00:48:37She just sacked me, Brad.
00:48:38What's going on?
00:48:39She thinks I've been coming to marry you in IA.
00:48:40I told you she wouldn't listen to me.
00:48:41No, this is ridiculous.
00:48:42Look, you know what she's like.
00:48:43Let's go and shop it out.
00:48:44Come on.
00:48:45No, Brad.
00:48:46No, I've got to go.
00:48:47No, I've got to go.
00:48:48It's no good.
00:48:49You're allowed to take her to marry me.
00:48:50I don't want to take her to marry you.
00:48:51You're allowed to marry me.
00:48:52You're allowed to marry me.
00:48:53You're allowed to marry me.
00:48:54I just don't seem to think so.
00:48:55Why?
00:48:56She just sacked me, Brad.
00:48:57What's going on?
00:48:58She thinks I've been coming to marry you in IA.
00:48:59You've not told her, but she wouldn't listen to me.
00:49:00Look, this is ridiculous.
00:49:01Don't shut it out, come on.
00:49:03It's no good.
00:49:21Hang on a second.
00:49:31It's okay.
00:49:45I've just got a shower.
00:49:50I thought I'd let you know I'd let Lorraine go.
00:49:53Shit.
00:49:55That's terrible.
00:49:56Mario, don't blame yourself. It had to be done.
00:49:58I know someone like you is going to feel bad about it,
00:50:00but it's my decision, so just try and forget it, okay?
00:50:02I just think the other reps are going to take it badly.
00:50:04I don't care what the other reps think. I'm in charge.
00:50:06I really admire you, Alison.
00:50:08Well, that's a tough fucking job keeping everything running so well.
00:50:11Shit.
00:50:14If anyone finds out about this,
00:50:16I'll deny it and sack you.
00:50:21And if this does not go on the score sheet.
00:50:28You're fine.
00:50:29You're fine.
00:50:30Do you like experimenting, Mario?
00:50:31No, baby.
00:50:32Anything you want?
00:50:38All right boys?
00:50:41All right, boys?
00:50:55So, someone died?
00:50:56The rain's been set.
00:50:58What's she done?
00:50:59Apparently she was coming up to Mario in a bar.
00:51:02Oh, no, fuck.
00:51:05Man, that wasn't supposed to happen.
00:51:06What? What wasn't supposed to happen?
00:51:08He's a live fucking scumbag. He's taking the piss out of us.
00:51:10You're taking the piss out of yourself if you get sacked, aren't you? Chill out.
00:51:14If you do Mario over now, forget getting fired.
00:51:18You might even end up in a nick, mate.
00:51:20Come on, son.
00:51:21It's just, it's winding me up.
00:51:23But you're right.
00:51:25It's better to it than where it hurts most.
00:51:27I've just got to buy me time.
00:51:29Pick me moment.
00:51:29You know, he said that yoghurt was a good cure for sunburn.
00:51:59Yeah, I love for some relief, yeah.
00:52:00Yeah.
00:52:00Does it matter what flavour you get?
00:52:02No, natural's usually the best.
00:52:04Oh, shit.
00:52:05I hate natural yoghurt.
00:52:07You're not supposed to eat it.
00:52:09What are you supposed to do with it?
00:52:10Well, you're supposed to rub it round your balls and your armpits, aren't you?
00:52:13All right.
00:52:14Leave him alone, you twat.
00:52:16Don't listen to him, Nick.
00:52:17He's wise to be right again.
00:52:17Here's a ticket for you, Friday night, Eden.
00:52:24It's going to be a good night.
00:52:25You've got to get there early, get some drinks in.
00:52:26One for you.
00:52:27Ticket for you.
00:52:30I hope you realise it's a criminal offence to impersonate a YFNS rep.
00:52:33What gave me away?
00:52:34I talk without drooling.
00:52:35That and the fact that you're far too ugly to work for us.
00:52:39Well, I swapped sides.
00:52:41What?
00:52:42Nothing, nothing.
00:52:43I'm just seeing what images come to mind with that phrase.
00:52:46Heather set it up.
00:52:47They needed someone in a hurry to replace Lorraine,
00:52:49and frankly, I was bored with dealing with snotty-nosed kids
00:52:51and calling out bingo numbers every Wednesday night.
00:52:54Well, are you trained?
00:52:55Oh, yeah.
00:52:55I can fart the national anthem and vomit over three feet.
00:52:59With you, darling,
00:53:00any bodily fluid is more than welcome.
00:53:07Hey, Mikey.
00:53:08Thanks.
00:53:14Dear Mikey,
00:53:15it seems so long since I saw you.
00:53:18What we had was great,
00:53:19and you'll always be a friend,
00:53:21but Geoff really needs me.
00:53:23I'm so confused,
00:53:25but I think I have to give it another try.
00:53:28Oh, you're stupid.
00:53:29Oh, you're right, mate.
00:53:57Is that a pleasure to do, Brett?
00:54:00Or are you genuinely interested?
00:54:02What's the matter with you?
00:54:06Facts.
00:54:07It's so cold.
00:54:08That breaded you've been mooning over,
00:54:09dumped you, I see.
00:54:10Go back to a boyfriend.
00:54:11Yeah.
00:54:13Let me guess.
00:54:14What we had together was special,
00:54:16but my boyfriend's changed,
00:54:18but he really loves me.
00:54:19But we can still be friends.
00:54:20Good night, Vienna.
00:54:21How's your world out?
00:54:22That happened to me my first month.
00:54:24I mean, we work here.
00:54:25We get blase about a beefer.
00:54:27And for the majority of Brits,
00:54:28it's a million miles away from their real world.
00:54:30I mean, sure, while they're here,
00:54:31it seems like love will find a way,
00:54:33but at the end of the day,
00:54:34they go on.
00:54:35Back to the normal lines, you know?
00:54:38And when they think about what they've done
00:54:39or people they've turned into on holiday,
00:54:40it scares the fucking child.
00:54:42And all they want to do is scurry back
00:54:43to the little comfort zones,
00:54:45and if that includes an old boyfriend,
00:54:46it's tough to you, mate.
00:54:49Well, that's pretty deep for you, Greg.
00:54:51Yeah, well, don't go tell anyone.
00:54:52I've got a reputation to protect.
00:54:55Anyway, come on.
00:54:56Season's still young.
00:54:57Plenty more points to be had and all that.
00:54:58Yep, coming.
00:54:59I'm going to put you down to a point, Mike.
00:55:01Well, you'd better make that too.
00:55:05You dirty old man.
00:55:07But anyway, look, check this out.
00:55:09This is going to cheer you up, I guarantee you.
00:55:11Mario would be lucky to get a shag off a blow-up doll,
00:55:13aren't we, this?
00:55:14Mario!
00:55:33Mario!
00:55:37Marriott!
00:56:07...
00:56:22...
00:56:22...
00:56:37You're the man, you're the big man, you're the best, you're the best!
00:57:03Hi, how are we all?
00:57:05Yeah, I'm gonna make a bite.
00:57:27Oh, it's so nice.
00:57:29Yeah, I'll bury this bone.
00:57:41Is that it?
00:57:43Yeah.
00:57:44Let's get your knickers on and get out.
00:57:47Bastard.
00:57:49I'm just sat on a washing machine.
00:57:51Shut up, you're laughing.
00:57:53I can't get out, sling it.
00:57:55Come on, fuck off, I've got to get moving, come on!
00:58:01We got to get out, sling it.
00:58:03We'll be using Star Star.
00:58:09OK, what do you want?
00:59:41All right, listen up, everyone.
00:59:49Okay, everyone that's going on the Boogie Nights porn star party, can you just gather around?
00:59:55I need to check your names off.
00:59:56Now, anyone that needs to be sorted out with 70s clothes and wigs can give your names to
01:00:01me now.
01:00:02So we count some heads.
01:00:03That's it, Aggie, bro.
01:00:21All right, let's go.
01:00:32Well boys, this competition has proven too easy for me, so I thought you were going to
01:01:02give you two losers a chance to catch up.
01:01:04What's that then?
01:01:05Well I've got a new competition.
01:01:06Why don't we get ten bonus points for going a week without a shag?
01:01:09Don't you think that would be a lot harder?
01:01:11Blasphemer?
01:01:12No.
01:01:13And what I thought we could do, is have like a phrase in a week.
01:01:16And when you shag a bird you get the bird to sing while you, you know, jury.
01:01:20What's up friends?
01:01:22Well I thought we could start with fluffy flops.
01:01:26What?
01:01:27Fluffy flops, you know.
01:01:29And it doesn't matter how you get her to say it, as long as you don't mention the competition.
01:01:33Alright?
01:01:34Fluffy flops, yeah.
01:01:36Greg, you're probably the sickest man I love.
01:01:39Cheers mate.
01:01:40Cheers mate.
01:01:41Right, that's after a three, I want to see these points alone, they will disappear.
01:01:46Alright?
01:01:47One, two, three.
01:01:52I want to see these points of life disappear, all right?
01:01:57One, two, three.
01:02:00Come on, boys, get them down, now.
01:02:02Get them down, okay?
01:02:03All the way, let it go.
01:02:11Right, listen up, everybody.
01:02:12Tonight, we are going to Eden,
01:02:14which is one of the maddest, baddest, loudest,
01:02:16off-your-head clubs in Ibiza,
01:02:18and it is going to be a large one.
01:02:19So, if you haven't got a ticket,
01:02:21shake your stuff over to me.
01:02:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:02:23I think he's had enough.
01:02:40Brad, what are you doing?
01:02:41He's had enough.
01:02:43And who are you his mother?
01:02:44No.
01:02:45Listen, I don't want to hear it.
01:02:46Your job is to make sure these clients have a good time
01:02:48and buy a lot of drinks.
01:02:49Jamie!
01:02:51Where's my ticket?
01:02:55Do you think I should?
01:02:58It is all right.
01:02:59I'll look out of it good.
01:03:00You've been so good.
01:03:02You there?
01:03:03You good?
01:03:03Yeah.
01:03:06Hello, darling.
01:03:07Hello, boys.
01:03:09You all right, chickens?
01:03:10Sleep.
01:03:10Night, love.
01:03:11Yeah, you all right?
01:03:14Now, they are fit.
01:03:15Are they coming to Eden tonight?
01:03:17Probably.
01:03:18Mate, you up for it?
01:03:19Up for it.
01:03:19Listen, lovers, I've just got a pacemaker fitted, right?
01:03:24This could be my last ever holiday.
01:03:26So believe me, I am up.
01:03:29For anything.
01:03:31See you later.
01:03:35Now, that's got to be worth a bonus point.
01:03:37You all right?
01:03:51Yeah, I am, mate.
01:03:51This club is fantastic.
01:04:08The beach is great, man.
01:04:09You're the fucking best.
01:04:11Right, listen, listen.
01:04:12We're going to go sit down.
01:04:13We're going to go over here.
01:04:14Come and follow me, yeah?
01:04:15Yeah.
01:04:15Yeah.
01:04:23What's that?
01:04:24What's that?
01:04:25No, just a shot of water.
01:04:26Have a little shot of water.
01:04:28Then we're going to have a little dance.
01:04:29Get with the polar cat and the bird, yeah?
01:04:31See you later.
01:04:53It's wicked, man! It's liquid ecstasy!
01:04:55Well, show it out, then!
01:04:59Come on!
01:05:03Here, down, you girls! Come on!
01:05:05Go, go, go!
01:05:11Come on! Let's dance!
01:05:23So, what do you think of Brad?
01:05:29Yeah, he's a laugh!
01:05:31Don't you fancy him, then?
01:05:33Brad? No!
01:05:35No, we're just good mates!
01:05:37Why are you asking me?
01:05:39Well, you and him are pretty tight!
01:05:41I thought that maybe...
01:05:43No, no! He's too much of a boy!
01:05:45He's a sweetie, though!
01:05:47I don't give you the care!
01:05:49The only thing he cares about
01:05:51is winning that competition!
01:06:01She's pretty cool, isn't she?
01:06:03Oh!
01:06:05Mother Teresa, who do you think?
01:06:07Carmen!
01:06:08Yeah, yeah, she's a good laugh!
01:06:09So you like her, then?
01:06:11No, I really thought about her!
01:06:13Anyway, you can't screw the crew!
01:06:15You know, so, mate, you two are so into each other
01:06:17you can't see past your noses!
01:06:19We're just good friends!
01:06:20You don't screw friends, right?
01:06:22You wanna know what it is, mate?
01:06:24Okay, Dr. Freud, enlighten me!
01:06:26She stimulates this, and not just this!
01:06:29Bollocks!
01:06:31The truth is, we're just good friends,
01:06:33whoever laugh, end the story!
01:06:35Well, I ain't got many mates
01:06:37that give me a 24-hour boner, that's for sure!
01:06:39And I thought I really meant something to you!
01:06:42Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:06:43Ha, ha, ha!
01:06:44.
01:06:45.
01:06:49.
01:06:52.
01:06:54.
01:06:56.
01:06:57.
01:06:58.
01:06:59.
01:07:00.
01:07:01.
01:07:02.
01:07:03.
01:07:04.
01:07:05.
01:07:20.
01:07:21.
01:07:22.
01:07:39.
01:07:40.
01:07:41.
01:07:42.
01:07:43.
01:08:03.
01:08:04.
01:08:26.
01:08:27.
01:08:34.
01:08:35.
01:08:36.
01:08:37.
01:08:38.
01:08:39.
01:08:40.
01:08:41.
01:08:42.
01:08:43.
01:08:44.
01:08:45.
01:08:46.
01:08:47.
01:08:48.
01:08:49.
01:08:50.
01:08:51.
01:08:52.
01:08:53.
01:08:54.
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01:08:56.
01:08:57.
01:08:58.
01:08:59.
01:09:00.
01:09:01.
01:09:02.
01:09:03.
01:09:04.
01:09:05.
01:09:06.
01:09:07The fucking best, mate. The fucking best.
01:09:11I just need you to wait here, mate. I won't be a minute. Don't go anywhere. Wait here.
01:09:23What the fuck's going on?
01:09:25We're all shagging, aren't we?
01:09:28Don't worry, mate. You're up next.
01:09:31What's she on?
01:09:32Booze, man. Bit of GHB, something like that.
01:09:34What?
01:09:35Makes them all near as rabbits, mate.
01:09:36Did she mention anything that makes her different from any other girls?
01:09:39Oh, you're not telling me she's a sex change, man?
01:09:43She's got a fucking pacemaker.
01:09:45Oh, really?
01:09:46Fuck off. You're having a laugh, aren't you?
01:09:49Oh, shit, no.
01:09:51No, Peggy. Peggy, wake up, love.
01:09:54Please. Peggy.
01:09:57Fucking hell.
01:10:03Oh, fucking.
01:10:04Fuck me, Peggy, wake up.
01:10:06Run! Run! Run, are you in there, mate?
01:10:10Run, it's the way. Go and sit here, mate.
01:10:12What?
01:10:20Shit. Shit, shit. I can't feel anything.
01:10:23Fuck me. She's snuffed her, aren't she?
01:10:25We need to get a doctor.
01:10:26We should have found her when we're doing it.
01:10:28She was dragged up and she's got a pacemaker.
01:10:30You were supposed to be helping her.
01:10:31Look, man.
01:10:32I say we just fuck off, right, and we leave her here,
01:10:35and then you can come and find her again in an hour or so, yeah?
01:10:37Don't be stupid.
01:10:38Apart from the fact that that's totally out of order,
01:10:39she's got all your Annie in her hair.
01:10:41Just got her hair off.
01:10:42Greg, Greg, will you just think straight?
01:10:45Pitbull and all the boys saw you.
01:10:46Exactly.
01:10:48Exactly what they all shagged her.
01:10:49Anyway, they gave her the GHB, not me.
01:10:51We need to get an ambulance now.
01:10:54Muchas gracias.
01:10:58I'm going to be here as soon as I can.
01:11:09Is this all right, man?
01:11:10Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it is, yeah.
01:11:12Hiya.
01:11:16What are you two doing here?
01:11:18You all right?
01:11:19Oh, fuck no.
01:11:20I feel terrible.
01:11:22God, I hope I didn't do anything bad last night.
01:11:24You don't remember?
01:11:27Er, I was just going out for a drink,
01:11:28and then, er...
01:11:31I thought I did that stuff.
01:11:35Oh, shit!
01:11:37Shit!
01:11:37Don't worry about it, mate.
01:11:38Don't worry.
01:11:39Because no-one else would remember nothing anyway, would they?
01:11:41No.
01:11:42Oh, God, I hope not.
01:11:43I can't look him in the face.
01:11:47I'll tell you what, you don't worry yourself,
01:11:48but try taking it a little bit easier next time, yeah?
01:11:51Yeah.
01:11:51Yeah?
01:11:51Yeah, all right?
01:11:52Yeah.
01:11:53All right, yeah, yeah, cheers.
01:11:56See you in a bit.
01:11:56See you in a bit.
01:11:56Yeah.
01:12:04Fuck me, this is getting really out of here.
01:12:06Oh, it's still going to be two points, don't I?
01:12:09It's the ambulance, look.
01:12:10Oh, it's two fucking points, bro.
01:12:12Er, can you go away?
01:12:14Er, it's a false alarm.
01:12:16Sorry, um, you're not needed.
01:12:19No, no, no, you're not needed, okay?
01:12:21All right.
01:12:22What's happened?
01:12:26I don't know what's going on.
01:12:33What's going on?
01:12:33What's going on right here?
01:12:34What's going on right here?
01:12:35Oh, shit.
01:12:36I don't know.
01:12:37What's going on right here.
01:12:37What? What's happened? What's, what's, what's...
01:12:49Oh, shit.
01:12:51Oh, shit.
01:12:53You found him in his room. He took to his own moment.
01:12:58I tried to get him to go home. I, I...
01:13:00It's not your fault, are you?
01:13:02I told him to stop, I swear.
01:13:07It's just so messed up.
01:13:22You happy now?
01:13:23I haven't got time for this, Brad.
01:13:24What, like you didn't have time for me last night?
01:13:26I told you them boys had had enough.
01:13:28Listen, I've had head office on the phone all day.
01:13:30The parents might sue us.
01:13:31Well, I hope you realise that in my report,
01:13:32I'll be telling them you made me get him so drunk
01:13:34he couldn't stand up.
01:13:35Oh, really?
01:13:36Well, newsflash, Brad.
01:13:38What you do as a rep in your hotel is down to you
01:13:40and if you go out to state a company policy...
01:13:41Don't you care that a boy's dead
01:13:43because you forced me to pump him so full of booze
01:13:45just so he could get your little bran envelope.
01:13:51I'll make this symbol for you.
01:13:52If you go to head office with allegations about me
01:13:54you can't prove
01:13:55and your arse is going to be on the next plane home,
01:13:57you want to keep your job, shut this
01:13:59and just do as you're told, will ya?
01:14:00Listen, listen.
01:14:01Me and Mikey have got a jeep.
01:14:02Let's go and get you away from this madness for a bit.
01:14:03Come on.
01:14:04She's going to damp it all on me.
01:14:05I know it.
01:14:06We have to stop her.
01:14:07We?
01:14:08No, no, I've told you, mate.
01:14:09I don't give a toss what she does.
01:14:10I do my job.
01:14:11I suggest you do yours.
01:14:12We'll report her to head office.
01:14:13Yes, and we will all get fired.
01:14:14Matt Harrison can tell what the fuck she likes to head office.
01:14:15Yeah, but if we all get...
01:14:16You usually forget it.
01:14:17I'm not having a laugh at you.
01:14:18I screw all up.
01:14:19Well, she'd rather fucked about until someone else dies.
01:14:20What am I, Mark?
01:14:21All this just ain't worth it anymore.
01:14:22Hey, guys.
01:14:23Listen.
01:14:24Listen.
01:14:25Listen.
01:14:26Let's go.
01:14:27Let's go.
01:14:28Let's go.
01:14:29Let's go.
01:14:30Let's go.
01:14:31Let's go.
01:14:32Let's go.
01:14:33Let's go.
01:14:34Let's go.
01:14:35Let's go.
01:14:36This is just like worth it anymore.
01:14:38Hey, guys.
01:14:39Listen up.
01:14:40Alison's way too greedy not to write it all down in a book.
01:14:44Who owes what?
01:14:45Who pays for what?
01:14:46All we've got to do is find that book.
01:14:48She probably keeps it in a safety deposit box at the hotel.
01:14:51And I've seen the key.
01:14:52She wears it round the neck.
01:14:54Great.
01:14:55Shall we just cut her head off and we're sorted?
01:14:56When you go straight at Alison, she's gonna smell it a mile off.
01:14:58You ought to be smart.
01:14:59Greg, I need you in on this, mate.
01:15:03For fuck's sake!
01:15:05What do you want to do?
01:15:08Just got to find her weak spot. One thing she just can't resist.
01:15:29I reckon one of us can do them both here, mate.
01:15:32You think?
01:15:33Yeah, just got this feeling about me, you know what I mean?
01:15:35I'm hardly ever wrong.
01:15:36Oh, God. Come on, Greg, mate. Let me have this one.
01:15:39I don't know, mate. Jesus.
01:15:40Oh, come on.
01:15:42All right, yeah, but it's going to cost you big time, I'm telling you.
01:15:47Ladies, I'm afraid I've got to head back.
01:15:50Oh, no. I thought he was going to walk us home.
01:15:53Yeah, well, I'm sure Mario here will be happy to oblige.
01:15:56No problem at all.
01:15:58I saw you...
01:16:00So, let's go.
01:16:30So, let's go.
01:17:00I like that one bit, when the first geezer starts going down on you.
01:17:13He knew they were blokes.
01:17:15Come on.
01:17:15Look, look.
01:17:16He was just curious.
01:17:18Mario, we understand.
01:17:20Yeah, mate.
01:17:21I mean, it's a shame, really, because, you know, I double in a couple of bullet holes,
01:17:23got to get you some nice points out.
01:17:24I ain't a fucking puff.
01:17:27Look, it's just that, you know, some people aren't as open-minded as us.
01:17:29That's all.
01:17:30It's just one word, mate, and people might think that you're a stark raving queen.
01:17:34I'll tell you what we could do.
01:17:35We could make copies, you know, for his family, and we could send it to him.
01:17:38Okay.
01:17:38All right.
01:17:39I'll do it.
01:17:41Two conditions.
01:17:43Yeah?
01:17:43Why don't you give me that tape now?
01:17:46Yeah?
01:18:05Fucking hell, it's my key.
01:18:06What's going on?
01:18:21That's Steph, that is.
01:18:22Alison, you've got two ears and a mouth.
01:18:23Why not try using them in that ratio?
01:18:26I'll have your fucking job for this.
01:18:28I don't say these things to win arguments, Alison.
01:18:31I say them to help you.
01:18:33All these names with money next to them.
01:18:34What can they mean?
01:18:35It means that you're standing up to your ears and shit.
01:18:38So you'd better not go making waves.
01:18:40So, Mario's not the only one getting shafted tonight.
01:18:44So, shut up.
01:18:47Listen.
01:18:50One day you might be in this position as well.
01:18:53Well, it is your investigation when I found that I must have made a mistake.
01:18:58No, I can deal with it here.
01:19:01No.
01:19:02No, Brad is outstanding.
01:19:05Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.
01:19:08Yeah, I'll get it all straightened up.
01:19:10No problems.
01:19:10Bye.
01:19:12You keep off everybody's backs till the end of the season.
01:19:15You give everybody a good rapport.
01:19:17And I'll give you back your cash and your little book.
01:19:26Oh, yeah.
01:19:27And, um, there's just one more of a little thing.
01:19:31All right.
01:19:45All right.
01:19:45Carmen.
01:19:47I had a chance to talk.
01:19:49About the other night.
01:19:50What about it?
01:19:52We're in the club.
01:19:53You know, when we...
01:19:54Oh, that, that.
01:19:55Yeah.
01:19:56It was just the chemicals, right?
01:19:59Was it?
01:19:59Yeah, I was flying.
01:20:01Yeah, so was I, but...
01:20:02I wasn't on anything.
01:20:08Well, I've, uh, handed in my notice.
01:20:10Now Lorraine's back.
01:20:11You don't have to do that.
01:20:14Well, I prefer to work with kids who look their age.
01:20:16That way you know where you are.
01:20:18You know where you are with me, Carmen.
01:20:20I thought we was having a laugh.
01:20:21You know, there's plenty of season left, you know.
01:20:23Plenty of season, plenty of points.
01:20:26Carmen, you've got me all wrong.
01:20:27Brad, you don't need to apologise.
01:20:30You like to be a winner.
01:20:31What's wrong with that?
01:20:32You were the blue-eyed boy of the training course.
01:20:34I mean, you've won against Alison,
01:20:36and I'd bet my money on you winning the competition.
01:20:40So.
01:20:41Good luck to you.
01:20:43Yeah, but surely, you know, you've felt the same...
01:20:45Brad, my friend's just been sick all over my floor.
01:20:46All right, look, can't this wait?
01:20:47Just one second.
01:20:48No, it can't.
01:20:49She's locked herself in the bathroom,
01:20:50and she won't come out.
01:20:51Come on.
01:21:06So.
01:21:07Greg is in the lead.
01:21:09You think you can win?
01:21:11I don't know.
01:21:13I don't know.
01:21:13I don't know.
01:21:14What would I win?
01:21:15Why?
01:21:16You'll be the biggest dick.
01:21:22Are you ready?
01:21:23Good to be back then.
01:21:49Oh, really.
01:21:50Well, you know, I've just spoken to Carmen.
01:21:52Well, she's great, isn't she?
01:21:53She's here, then.
01:21:54Yeah.
01:21:54Oh.
01:21:55Well, I've been talking to the skeezer, right,
01:21:59and apparently, right, there's these two sisters on board, right,
01:22:02and they used to be lap dancers.
01:22:03Now, they've got to be up for it.
01:22:04Well, maybe we can both do them.
01:22:06Both get the extra points.
01:22:07This is a special exception.
01:22:09Yeah, but only if the bullet hole's in play.
01:22:11Yeah?
01:22:11Well, I've heard they've booked their glennies.
01:22:13How many bonus points is there?
01:22:17I'm wrinkly starfish.
01:22:18Fuck that.
01:22:19What's the matter with you?
01:22:20He was too possessed for me.
01:22:30I thought he owned me.
01:22:33Sometimes you've got to move on.
01:22:36Come on, get your ass in the game.
01:22:38We've got to do the prizes.
01:22:39Yeah.
01:22:42Why did you bring me here?
01:22:44I'm not even a wire finesse rep anymore.
01:22:45But will you just shut up for once, Carmen?
01:22:47You might have to like what you're about to hear.
01:22:49The prize is to have your attention.
01:22:56Just for two minutes, please.
01:22:58The Champagne Diving Award goes to Crazy Lib.
01:23:01So where are you, Crazy Lib?
01:23:02Come up here, mate.
01:23:03Good, son.
01:23:04We'll sort you out.
01:23:06Yeah?
01:23:06Sort it?
01:23:07Nice to meet you.
01:23:07Lovely.
01:23:09Right, the first Top List Dive Award goes to Jennifer.
01:23:12So come up there, Jennifer, wherever you are.
01:23:14Come on, mate.
01:23:17Come on, mate.
01:23:18Come on, mate.
01:23:19Yeah, and to be honest, I don't think she's got any danger of drowning with them, do you?
01:23:24Come on, listen, bro.
01:23:26Do you want for the sexiest?
01:23:27Yeah, actually, I got a special award of me own.
01:23:31But I don't know if there's going to be a prize at the end of it.
01:23:35That's down to Carmen.
01:23:37You're right, Carmen.
01:23:40I've always liked being a winner.
01:23:41And when I first heard about that competition at the training course, that's all that's been on me mind.
01:23:48But the other night, I had a kiss.
01:23:51And I couldn't score any points with it.
01:23:54Why?
01:23:54Because it was off the scale.
01:23:58And so Carmen, I want to award myself a prize for being the biggest dick of the season.
01:24:05Only a dick would think that winning a shagging competition is more important than losing a chance to be with someone like you.
01:24:15So if it's not too late, and if you still have me, I'm off the board.
01:24:22You sure this is what you want?
01:24:42Oh, come on, Carmen has let you come on his boat.
01:24:45It's on the fire you let him come on yours.
01:24:46Oh, fuck off, Greg.
01:24:48Are you sure you mean this?
01:24:52Yes.
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