- 17 hours ago
The Three Badasses Who Want Me
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:05What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:10Angela, my next-door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:15If your mother-in-law sees, she's gonna throw a Bigfoot again.
00:00:20Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:22What's the point of watching the news all day about these moggles if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:00:27And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:32All right, everybody get out!
00:00:35We got an important guest coming!
00:00:39You!
00:00:44Depp, I said pack up and scram!
00:00:46I paid the stall fee already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:00:54You want to say that again?
00:00:57You know who's visiting today? Ellen freaking Musk! One of the richest people in the world!
00:01:03Ellen Musk?
00:01:04Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:07Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:11Really? Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:01:17You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:20Coming to see you.
00:01:25All right, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:01:28If she does this so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:33Deal.
00:01:35Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within 10 minutes, or else you're fired.
00:02:01Prepare the limo. Ms. Lockhart requires this immediately.
00:02:15Ah, you're 10 minutes, you're so messed up.
00:02:19Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:23Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:35Ellen, I mean, Ms. Musk, Ellen, I mean, I'm sorry that I, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:43How's my boss, bitch?
00:02:46Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:02:48So, how do you, like...
00:02:50She's my boss.
00:02:52Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:02:56No way.
00:02:59Well?
00:03:06No, no, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:09No, I won't do it again.
00:03:10All right, that's enough.
00:03:15We're not tyrants here.
00:03:23Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:31You mean Angela Lockhart?
00:03:33I run away pride.
00:03:36You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:41Who are you?
00:03:44Where is she?
00:03:46Atlanta. And you were right.
00:03:48It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:50My clever bride.
00:03:52I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:03:59Max, prep the jet.
00:04:01I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:02Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move.
00:04:09He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:10Atlanta?
00:04:11The game is afoot.
00:04:12I'm going.
00:04:13Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:16He can wait.
00:04:17I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:23Well, Dr. Wilson.
00:04:30General Eisenhower reporting.
00:04:31I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:36Atlanta.
00:04:38Where is that?
00:04:40Whatever, prepare my war plate.
00:04:42Dosu going after my fiance.
00:04:43This is war.
00:04:56I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like
00:05:06you asked me to.
00:05:08Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:09This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:12That project is worth billions.
00:05:14He can finally take his company public.
00:05:16But Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:05:24without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:27Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:32Well, three years ago...
00:05:36You saved me.
00:05:59He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:02I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being
00:06:07with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:10But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally
00:06:15come out to the public.
00:06:17So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:21I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:23But why work at the flea market?
00:06:28Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:31Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:37Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:41You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:47Where the hell are you?
00:06:48Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:52Get home stacked.
00:06:53It's a big day today.
00:06:56That was...
00:06:57My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower class family.
00:07:03But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:09You know, she even remembered our third year anniversary.
00:07:17Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:19I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:25Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:31Divorce papers?
00:07:34Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:38God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:41We're ending that relationship.
00:07:43Just look at you, dirt all over.
00:07:46You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:48You don't deserve my son. You're way below his league.
00:07:53I'm below his league?
00:07:54That's right.
00:07:56You are.
00:07:58Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with THE Ellen Musk.
00:08:04And then his company's going public.
00:08:06That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:09But you?
00:08:10You're still just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:08:15Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:17You will always just be a pawn like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:26Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:29But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:33You're delusional.
00:08:34You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:36How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:40Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:46And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:54You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:08:59Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee, not a low-life dirtbag.
00:09:04Enough!
00:09:06Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:10But I am.
00:09:12Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:14Here's 500k.
00:09:16You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:20Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:23Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:24I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:32Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:34I didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:38Fine.
00:09:39Here's another 200k.
00:09:42500k is too much for her already.
00:09:44She's done nothing.
00:09:45She hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:48She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:52Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:09:56I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:01You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:05And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:10:09A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:13What a joke.
00:10:14If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already and leave.
00:10:23You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me,
00:10:28let alone taking the company public?
00:10:31I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:33Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:37It's all my work.
00:10:45Baby, we're gonna be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:53You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:10:58So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:02She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:06Fine.
00:11:07I'll sign it.
00:11:10But don't regret it.
00:11:12Regret?
00:11:15Do you know who I am?
00:11:16Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:11:20I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:24Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:29Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:11:34It's part of the power I have as an elite.
00:11:37You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:41Social stratum matters.
00:11:43Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:48And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:51And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:11:55Ha!
00:11:56You're delusional.
00:11:58Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:01Ram!
00:12:05You pony.
00:12:06You dirty bitch.
00:12:08You sickened me.
00:12:09Ah!
00:12:15You hit me.
00:12:20Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:22I don't need your penny money.
00:12:42We're finished.
00:12:44You don't want the money that's your loss.
00:12:47Your check is just pennies to me, but I would like my ring back.
00:12:52Mom.
00:13:02Have fun on your economy flight while I catch her out of my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:12And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:15Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring?
00:13:22It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:26Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:29Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:32You're right.
00:13:33And she could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:35Congrats, Jared Boo-Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:42Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:50Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk?
00:13:53Yeah.
00:13:54And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:13:57Oh, everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:00Uh, Angela?
00:14:17Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:22Vanderbilt?
00:14:23Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies.
00:14:26Basically, our employee.
00:14:27Oh, okay.
00:14:27I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow.
00:14:29It's fine.
00:14:29Well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow?
00:14:31That you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:34That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:47Angela Lockhart.
00:15:01I finally found you.
00:15:03Who is he?
00:15:04That.
00:15:05That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:07He's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list and an early investor of crypto,
00:15:12CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:14Rumor has that he's worth trillions.
00:15:15And he's your fiancé.
00:15:20What?
00:15:21What?
00:15:21My fiancé?
00:15:23The one and only.
00:15:26So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:31have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet?
00:15:34Babe?
00:15:35That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:49What is she doing here?
00:15:51You skank.
00:15:55My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man.
00:16:01Divorced?
00:16:03That's right.
00:16:04So, I guess this was never meant to be Mr...
00:16:07Sterling.
00:16:09I don't know anything.
00:16:10Kevin, start it.
00:16:13So, she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:16Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:18She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:24How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:16:27Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:30Do you know who I am?
00:16:33They don't know who you are.
00:16:36You hide it well.
00:16:38X-Team!
00:16:40Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:43Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:49Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:53You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:01Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:08Toss these ill-mannered apes out!
00:17:11You bitch!
00:17:12I'll have my son teach you a real lesson!
00:17:14A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:24No.
00:17:32Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:35You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffet, old money like me.
00:17:40Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:43Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:44Your families all started empires after the industrial revolution.
00:17:48What an honor.
00:17:49I heard you secured the maple plaza project.
00:17:52It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:54Congrats.
00:17:55You'll be next.
00:17:57But we haven't received the contract yet.
00:17:59We deserve it.
00:18:00Hard.
00:18:00Oh, that's nothing.
00:18:01I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:04Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:06So I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:11Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:18:12Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:18I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:21Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:24Now, if we can just secure a position with his big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:30I'll do my best.
00:18:39Excuse me, second gentleman.
00:18:42What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:44How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:48Me, a hobo.
00:18:51How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:54You sleep your way in?
00:18:55I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:18:58Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:01Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:06This is your ex-husband?
00:19:10What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:12Who the hell is this?
00:19:13You were cheating on me?
00:19:28Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:31That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:35They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:51You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:56Get your hands off of her.
00:20:01My lady.
00:20:05My queen.
00:20:28It's...
00:20:30It's him!
00:20:32He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:20:35Who are these peasants?
00:20:37These seats are reserved for THE Ellen Musk and her special guest!
00:20:42Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:45You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:49Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:51That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:52You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:55His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:20:59The Civil War would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:03Vanderbilt.
00:21:04The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt, who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:14That, Lolly Vanderbilt family?
00:21:16Oh, goddammit, a stomach ache now?
00:21:30Whatever.
00:21:31Angela can handle herself.
00:21:32She'll be fine.
00:21:33How dare you call one of us alone?
00:21:48I'm Harvey F. and Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:53I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:21:58And I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:22:02Not with me around.
00:22:04I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford auto empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:08You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:14You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:16We've had enough of your games.
00:22:18Security!
00:22:20Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:22Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:25But don't worry.
00:22:27You got no money here.
00:22:28I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:33Yes, my queen.
00:22:35You're all despicable.
00:22:38An insult to your family names.
00:22:43Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:46Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:49Cut off all business ties.
00:22:52And if you don't,
00:22:53I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:22:59Ha! I knew it!
00:23:01You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:02You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:04How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:08You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:13You have nothing and you will always be nothing.
00:23:17She's a gold digger.
00:23:20Gold digger.
00:23:20A gigolo.
00:23:23Want to try me for a night?
00:23:26Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:27Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:31They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:34Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:35She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:38Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:40Skirty!
00:23:47Skirty!
00:23:47You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:52And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:55You!
00:23:57Insolent fools.
00:23:59Let me guess, you're that special guest?
00:24:03I don't know.
00:24:04Throw them out!
00:24:06And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:15Back down, Max.
00:24:20I got this.
00:24:20What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:39I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:51No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:55Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:24:57Angela!
00:25:08Don't hurt her!
00:25:09You bitch.
00:25:10I've always been sick of you.
00:25:11You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:12How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:15Boss?
00:25:16Did she say her boss?
00:25:17Miss Musk?
00:25:20That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:21That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:24My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:27Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:30Past the American Revolution?
00:25:32Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:34If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:37That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:39She's royalty.
00:25:40And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:44What do you think I'm going to do?
00:25:46Kneel to me.
00:25:47Oh, your majesty.
00:25:50Welcome to the United States.
00:25:54We've always been your loyal subject.
00:25:57Yes, your highness.
00:25:58Is it the queen or princess?
00:26:01It doesn't matter.
00:26:02My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:05Oh yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:26:08Hey, what are you doing, idiot?
00:26:10Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:14What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:42She's a badass herself.
00:26:44He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:46You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:50Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:53No, no, don't believe they're lies.
00:26:55I worked hard for everything.
00:26:57You worked for everything?
00:27:04Hi, honey.
00:27:04So, our third anniversary is coming up and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:27:11I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:13I have to figure out this bid for the maple plaza project and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:19You were nothing before me.
00:27:29All your achievements, all your glory, that's all mine, including the maple plaza contract.
00:27:37I can take all of that away just like that.
00:27:42No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:44So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody?
00:27:47Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:52Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:54It was Queen Victoria's and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:05No, I gave you back the ring?
00:28:08I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:10No, no, please take me back baby, I still love you.
00:28:20Oh man, looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:23No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:32Guard these two again.
00:28:35Is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:37President Eisenhower's descendant. After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:41each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals.
00:28:44The highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:46Glad you buffoons know your history.
00:28:48Sorry I'm late babe, I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:51Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:28:58And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius Dr. Wilson.
00:29:03He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:05Dr. House?
00:29:06I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:08Oh no, that's based on real thinking.
00:29:10Yep, that's me.
00:29:12Son of James House.
00:29:13Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:16I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:20So he's been off crying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 months.
00:29:25And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:29Hey Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:37Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:29:40What?
00:29:41Fiancés?
00:29:43Fiancés.
00:29:45Plural?
00:29:45Watch it nerds, I'm her fiancé.
00:29:51No, I'm her fiancé.
00:29:53You can both shut up.
00:29:54I'm her fiancé.
00:29:55It's you.
00:29:56It's me.
00:29:57Who the hell is he?
00:29:59I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:02How are all three of these men my fiancés?
00:30:07Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:30:09but I didn't tell you because you decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:14She has three badass fiancés and she marries his dumbass.
00:30:21Whatever.
00:30:22Since you're all here, help me finish them.
00:30:25At your service.
00:30:33Me too.
00:30:40One down, two more to go.
00:30:41She's become queen.
00:30:42Bishop to G4.
00:30:49What is that?
00:30:50The most German fest and water in the Nile River.
00:30:54Ruck to A8.
00:31:04Hello?
00:31:08I thought I was king.
00:31:09No, you wish.
00:31:10The king doesn't do anything, so Ellen can be my king.
00:31:13Oh, fine.
00:31:19Pick up the forwards right this second.
00:31:24I...
00:31:26I...
00:31:28I've been bankrupt!
00:31:29Noooooooo!
00:31:30Who is?
00:31:38I've been bankrupt!
00:31:39Noooooooo!
00:31:40I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:45Well, guess what?
00:31:46Game over.
00:31:47All right, boys.
00:31:49Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:51Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:53I'm right with you!
00:31:56Wait for me!
00:31:57Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:31:59Angela!
00:32:11You already have three fiancés?
00:32:14You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:16I...
00:32:18want compensation!
00:32:19You greedy SOB!
00:32:23Who the fuck is that?
00:32:24My ex-husband.
00:32:26Wait, you were married?
00:32:28Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:33More for me.
00:32:34No, no, of course not.
00:32:35Just...
00:32:36Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:39Don't steal my joke!
00:32:40I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:42All evidence of your past with him will become.
00:32:46What?
00:32:46Is there something on my face?
00:32:47Uh, yeah.
00:32:49Murderous intent.
00:32:51Let's remarry.
00:32:53Let's remarry.
00:32:55You still don't realize.
00:32:58I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:10You still don't know what you're doing?
00:33:28Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:29We need to wreck right away.
00:33:31Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:35Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:36She should be okay now.
00:33:44Hey, you!
00:33:46Watch over here.
00:33:47I'll be right back.
00:33:56You saved me.
00:34:00Fuck.
00:34:01I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:03Fuck.
00:34:06I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:08You've cheated on me.
00:34:10You've hit me.
00:34:11And you've insulted me.
00:34:13And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:34:17I fucking hate you.
00:34:19Lady Lockhart.
00:34:22God, what now?
00:34:24Oh, yes.
00:34:25We understand that you are a very busy person, but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:34:31the Maple Plaza project.
00:34:33How about us three?
00:34:34Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:34:37Hahaha.
00:34:39Yeah, no.
00:34:40You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:43This is your fault, you doofus.
00:34:45We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:34:47No.
00:34:48We can't lose our positions with Elon Musk and the Lockhart.
00:34:57I'll get you for this.
00:35:04Never should have listened to you.
00:35:06I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:07Hahaha.
00:35:09So, what's the situation here?
00:35:24I don't want to marry you.
00:35:34I don't want to marry you.
00:35:35Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:44But, what if I told you that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:50Much longer.
00:35:55Angela, your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:36:00My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:06Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:08The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:11Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:13I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing blood-sucking free little husband of yours.
00:36:21Can't call his name, but anyway, congratulations.
00:36:25I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:30Oh, you must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:36:34Ah, let me do it.
00:36:36You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:39Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:43Mom?
00:36:44All right, honey, that's it.
00:36:47Bye.
00:36:47Bye.
00:36:48Bye.
00:36:48So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:56Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:01Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:07That seems greedy.
00:37:08But I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:19Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:37:23I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:28Whoa, okay, no murder, please.
00:37:30I was just kidding.
00:37:33We have seven days to win her over.
00:37:35Ooh, it's like the bachelorette.
00:37:39I know.
00:37:40We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:44Welcome to the show, the three badasses who want me.
00:37:48Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:52What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:55You'll see.
00:38:05Oh my god, oh my god, cockroaches!
00:38:08All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:38:10And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:16What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single,
00:38:21but screaming her head off heiress?
00:38:22It looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:38:34It's up to the final two.
00:38:36It's crunchy.
00:38:49That is sick, Cole.
00:38:50Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:38:53you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:09There are two more left.
00:39:10Want to try one?
00:39:11Oh my god, no, no.
00:39:14Oh my god, save me.
00:39:16Save you, you're going to save me.
00:39:18I'm a German phoic doctor.
00:39:23These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:24They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:42Thank god you're here.
00:39:45Are you all right, honey?
00:39:46Angela!
00:39:51All right, you won the first challenge, so you're a reward.
00:39:54You get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:57Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:40:00I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:01You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:08Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:12At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:40:14I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:16Run, run, run, run.
00:40:18The cockroaches.
00:40:19They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:21There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:23I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:28I need a drink.
00:40:41Whoa, easy.
00:40:42You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:42Oh, why do you care?
00:40:46You're trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:48You guys were right.
00:40:53I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:40:57You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:41:03He never even loved me.
00:41:04And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:11Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:15You may not be number one on the Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in.
00:41:24What?
00:41:28You're number one here.
00:41:29You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:39Lies.
00:41:42You all just want something from me.
00:41:43Angela, I know it's hard to trust again, but I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:42:01I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:02I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:42:10I just need you.
00:42:14I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:42:28Screw the contest.
00:42:30I just want love.
00:42:33Angela, you're drunk.
00:42:36I'm an adult.
00:42:37Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:42:40Okay.
00:42:43But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:49Oh, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:43:01This is what you want.
00:43:11Nine inch penis.
00:43:17Morning to you too.
00:43:33You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:35A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her.
00:43:42Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:44But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:48Because then they would say that you're being unfair.
00:43:52Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:54I won the first challenge and according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:02Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:44:04You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:11It's not.
00:44:15Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:19I won't tell.
00:44:19But only on one condition.
00:44:25I won't tell.
00:44:27But only on one condition.
00:44:30You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:33Fine.
00:44:33I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:41You never noticed me.
00:44:47You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:50It's only seven a.m.
00:44:54She's still sleeping.
00:44:54I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:55Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second.
00:45:02Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:03Oh, or shall I say roughman?
00:45:06Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:08What's up, guys?
00:45:10We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:12No cockroaches this time.
00:45:14Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:16That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:17This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:20I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:21The second challenge is...
00:45:24The second challenge is...
00:45:26A date.
00:45:27Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:45:29A date?
00:45:31That's it.
00:45:32What's the catch?
00:45:33No catch.
00:45:34Just who Miss Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:37As simple as that.
00:45:38I know what I want to do.
00:45:39Let's start with me first.
00:45:40Okay, goals up first, then...
00:45:42Me.
00:45:43Save the best for last.
00:45:45Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:47Then it's decided.
00:45:50Please, don't take my BMW away.
00:45:54Too bad.
00:45:55You pissed off the Lockhart's.
00:45:57I have nothing left.
00:46:00It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:14It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:15You know Eisenhower, sirs?
00:46:25At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:27This is my Lieutenant.
00:46:28He also manages this boxing job.
00:46:30Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:32He's so serious.
00:46:34But, hang on.
00:46:36Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:39Baby, I decided to take you here on my first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:43Guns?
00:46:44Like murder weapons?
00:46:46Yes.
00:46:48Murder weapons.
00:46:51You're like my guns, babe.
00:47:09Pretty rock hard.
00:47:11Yeah.
00:47:13Let me show you what I can do with that.
00:47:15Lieutenant!
00:47:16Come close!
00:47:18Wait, you're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:20He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:22Fighting back will be treason, ma'am!
00:47:23Treason?
00:47:25You guys are way too serious.
00:47:28Look, you Lockhart bitch, I caught you!
00:47:30If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:47:33Lieutenant, he's your attack!
00:47:47You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:52I will make you pay!
00:47:55You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:47:57We could just take him to the cops.
00:47:58Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:48:06So he's a bit violent.
00:48:08Some might call it being protective.
00:48:10Poor anger issues.
00:48:12What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:48:16Is he going to be like, rough?
00:48:20Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:22I don't know if I am.
00:48:25Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:28Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:37Hey.
00:48:38Cool ride.
00:48:40A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:43Impressive.
00:48:44Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:50Refreshing.
00:48:52I got cool mint too.
00:48:54Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:57What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:00Fruit flavored gum.
00:49:01I can't stand those.
00:49:02I don't know.
00:49:03So, where are you taking me tonight?
00:49:05Let me show you.
00:49:13Dr. Wilson!
00:49:14A VIP of VIPs!
00:49:17Right this way.
00:49:18VIP of VIPs?
00:49:19Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:49:22I forget who.
00:49:23You saved a lot of football.
00:49:25I'll do what I can.
00:49:28Oh my gosh.
00:49:30It's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:34Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:49:36I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:39Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:41and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:45How low of you.
00:49:49What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:50Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:53I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high-end,
00:49:56you couldn't even afford even if you sold your organs.
00:49:59The auction begins.
00:50:01I'll deal with you later.
00:50:04Here, I'll just be one sec.
00:50:11Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:50:15Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:19Cleopatra's Armband.
00:50:22Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:50:25For five million dollars.
00:50:28Excuse me.
00:50:30I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:32It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:35I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:38It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:39What are you doing?
00:50:40Just watch.
00:50:42Come on.
00:50:48That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:51Please.
00:50:51I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:54She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:56You work at a flea market?
00:50:58Not this again.
00:51:00Cut the bullshit.
00:51:00That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:02Oh yeah?
00:51:04Here, you want it?
00:51:04For free.
00:51:06Ew!
00:51:06I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:10Well, that's too bad then.
00:51:12Because you are the fraud.
00:51:16What are you talking about?
00:51:17Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:20Throw them out!
00:51:21Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine.
00:51:24But we're professionals.
00:51:26Oh yeah?
00:51:28And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:31Yeah.
00:51:32Mine is the real thing.
00:51:34You two are just upset because you're too
00:51:36poor to afford our luxury items.
00:51:39What is that so?
00:51:40Would a so-called expert fail to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:44Dear lord.
00:51:45This is real.
00:51:49It's authentic.
00:51:50It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:56Cameron, what have you found?
00:51:58Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me, it's a replica.
00:52:04They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:07So, you are the fraud.
00:52:11You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:14And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:18150.
00:52:19Wow, not even five dollars.
00:52:22Sandra.
00:52:23You've been deepening us the whole time?
00:52:27Arrest her!
00:52:28No, please!
00:52:29Even just this one time, please!
00:52:33What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:35Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:52:39Bye.
00:52:40Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:44I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:53Me too.
00:52:55May I have a kiss?
00:52:57I have a kiss.
00:53:12Something wrong?
00:53:13Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:15Yep, you never have to worry about stinky breath for me.
00:53:33You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:39I don't have any money.
00:53:40How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:43I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:49Stop!
00:53:54Mr. Landeville?
00:53:58Mr. Buffett?
00:53:59This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:05That's right.
00:54:07Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:09I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:12I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:14No, no, sir.
00:54:16Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:17It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:21Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:24And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good work for us?
00:54:30Angela still loves me.
00:54:31She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:32She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:34Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:37We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:40I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:42and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:45Feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:47Sure.
00:54:50I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:52I just need-
00:54:53Anything.
00:54:54You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:56Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:54:59I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:08I'll give you the contract to Jabba Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:55:12Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:14I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:15My contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:17It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:55:20And if you can, then what?
00:55:21He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:22So as long as his greeting has to take it.
00:55:26I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:28I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:33I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:48We should celebrate.
00:55:49You did?
00:55:50You see, I know my son hasn't hit him.
00:55:53That skank, Angela, is nothing next to you.
00:55:56And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:59Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:04What?
00:56:05What?
00:56:06You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:09Oh, no, no, no, no, he's not.
00:56:11Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:12You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:16It's my decision, mom.
00:56:18I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:21I'm telling my dad.
00:56:22Fine, go right ahead.
00:56:23He has enough problems himself.
00:56:25If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:27But if not, you can scram.
00:56:30Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:34Teach him a lesson.
00:56:35Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:37Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:41Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:43We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:45So do as he says.
00:56:47What, Dad?
00:56:55I'm sorry.
00:56:57Be your side piece.
00:56:58Very good.
00:57:00I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:01Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:06I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:09But that tongue action, though.
00:57:13Tongue is important.
00:57:14In more than just one spot.
00:57:15Arlen, we are in public.
00:57:17It's true.
00:57:19Stomachache.
00:57:21Again?
00:57:21I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:22Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:25Okay.
00:57:27Devin's late.
00:57:29Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:32This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:36It's her.
00:57:38And she's alone.
00:57:39With no one to save her.
00:57:43You whore.
00:57:44You seduced my son so he could get back with you.
00:57:51Let me tell you.
00:57:52I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:57Hey, you guys can fight all you want.
00:58:02You need to take this somewhere else.
00:58:04Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:58:06What?
00:58:07Why do I have to leave?
00:58:08She's the one starting shit.
00:58:10Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:12You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:15And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:19He's still got the contract?
00:58:21Hmm.
00:58:22Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:24Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:28Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:30Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:34Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:39You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:45My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:47$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:50$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:54$5,000 to beat her away.
00:58:59Oh, oh!
00:59:00Hey!
00:59:01Hey!
00:59:01Ow!
00:59:02Hey!
00:59:02Stop!
00:59:05You okay?
00:59:06Are you hurt?
00:59:12Weakling.
00:59:12You!
00:59:13You!
00:59:14Just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:18And now you have two more?
00:59:20What a whore.
00:59:21What a whore.
00:59:22Yeah.
00:59:23And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:26What if she has an STD?
00:59:28Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:32Let's go.
00:59:33We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:35Hang on.
00:59:37What do you want?
00:59:38I'll scream!
00:59:39I don't hear women, but I never said I don't kill them.
00:59:45But I never said I don't kill them.
00:59:49Oh, God.
00:59:50He is a murderer.
00:59:51What if he murders me?
00:59:53Not him.
00:59:53Definitely not him.
00:59:59We're not afraid of you.
01:00:01That's enough.
01:00:02This isn't a war zone.
01:00:04You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:08I was just messing with them.
01:00:10Was he though?
01:00:11We're not afraid of you.
01:00:14Jared!
01:00:15You have to avenge us.
01:00:16Look at this slut.
01:00:17She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:19She's cheating on you.
01:00:20Don't get back with her.
01:00:22Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:00:23I apologize for this scene.
01:00:25I'll toss out the pottycrashers immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:00:29Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:32Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:33The pottycrashers.
01:00:38You have any idea who that is?
01:00:40That's my wife.
01:00:41Please save that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:44That's right.
01:00:45Know your place.
01:00:46Shut up.
01:00:47She's cheating on you.
01:00:51Know your place.
01:00:52You're just a side piece.
01:00:53If I still want you, that is.
01:00:55Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:57This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:00:59You slap her for this whore?
01:01:01Mom!
01:01:02I really think there's something, huh?
01:01:04Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:09She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:11I only got the maple closet project because she gave it to me.
01:01:16What?
01:01:16You, apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:28I'm sorry.
01:01:32This can't be.
01:01:33I made you divorce.
01:01:38Go home.
01:01:39You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:42I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:51Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:54I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:57I didn't come here for you.
01:02:00I'm on a date.
01:02:02A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:06She really is a whore.
01:02:07Angela, please forgive me.
01:02:09I really do love you.
01:02:12Oh-ho! Lady Larkhart is here!
01:02:17Oh-ho! Lady Larkhart is here!
01:02:21Yeah, yeah, we already know you beat Fort Datham.
01:02:25We're too old for that.
01:02:26They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:29Please, you gave me the contract so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:34Oh, yes, please, Miss Larkhart, join us.
01:02:37We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:41What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:43Where were you?
01:02:45Stomach issues.
01:02:46Again? Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:49No.
01:02:52Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:54I would rather die than be with you again.
01:02:59Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:03I can't lose face in front of these pricks. Otherwise, they'll cut me off too.
01:03:07Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance. I'll prove it to you.
01:03:10You want a chance?
01:03:12Angela, no. You have three great guys here who all want to marry you. Don't take him back.
01:03:19I'll give you two choices.
01:03:23I'll give you two choices.
01:03:24Me. Or the contract.
01:03:29You're kidding me.
01:03:31No, I'm not kidding you. If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:37But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:03:41The choice is all yours.
01:03:43So that's a tough choice.
01:03:46You think so?
01:03:47He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:51Either way, he benefits.
01:03:53Why can't I have both?
01:03:55You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:57Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember? I deserved the contract.
01:04:02Did you really?
01:04:07Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:11He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:13Wait, what are you talking about?
01:04:15I, uh, I choose the contract.
01:04:18I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:22With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:26Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone. I will get you one day.
01:04:32Let me show you something.
01:04:43You saved me.
01:04:51You saved me.
01:04:52I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:04:58But I promise you, I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:04No, no, I wasn't lying. I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:10Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:20What? Me? Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:05:25No way. You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:31You're crazy. And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:38What? Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:44Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:47Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:51I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:53Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry. I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:05:59No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:06:02You'd like me to punish them for you.
01:06:04Oh god, no. Not that again. Please.
01:06:07Max, you know what to do.
01:06:23The banks have pulled all of our funds. All business ties have been severed.
01:06:27We're bankrupt!
01:06:34How did you do that?
01:06:35Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:41I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:44I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:48I am Crypto-Punk number two.
01:06:52What did he say he was?
01:06:53That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:56You're Crypto-Punk number two?
01:06:59Well, I'm Crypto-Punk number one.
01:07:01See? You are number one at something.
01:07:04The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:07Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:09It's all about young money now.
01:07:11So, how about our date?
01:07:13I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:07:21I'll spy two.
01:07:22They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:38I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:07:41I'm not paying for it.
01:07:42Yes!
01:07:43I'm rich!
01:07:45I think make them all pay soon!
01:07:53What?
01:07:54Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:55The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:07:59Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:04No!
01:08:05I'm bankrupt!
01:08:09The manager of the Lockhart-
01:08:10You tricked me!
01:08:17Oh, allow me.
01:08:21I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:23I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:08:29Well, cheers.
01:08:32Cheers.
01:08:41This looks good.
01:08:47Did you use my spices?
01:08:49I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:54You can have all the money and power in the world
01:08:56and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:09:01Couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:07Angel.
01:09:10Your future, with me,
01:09:14is going to be different.
01:09:15Come on.
01:09:17Go to the stairs.
01:09:26Go to the stairs.
01:09:36Wow.
01:09:38Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years.
01:09:43Just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:46Angela.
01:09:48I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:50Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:54That's right.
01:09:56I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:59How is all of this possible?
01:10:01I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:05Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:10:10I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:12You're my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:16Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:20Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:30All you do is babble on and on about internet money,
01:10:34Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:10:38Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:42I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:44Hey! Get away from me!
01:10:47Angela!
01:10:50Five C girl. I like her.
01:11:03How is he?
01:11:03It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:08Astaga saltipa.
01:11:09Can it be cured?
01:11:11I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:13It sounds really scary, but it's cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:17Household salt.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:29What time is it up?
01:11:34Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:39I like her.
01:11:45We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:48So that's how I, well, we all met.
01:11:53I barely remember.
01:11:55I said I never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:58Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:02You wouldn't have known.
01:12:03I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark though.
01:12:06That makes you feel any better.
01:12:08Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:10Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:13Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:12:23How can that be?
01:12:25Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:28It's an heiress.
01:12:32Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:36Bankrupt?
01:12:38The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:12:41Well then, get out of here.
01:12:44You can't do this to me.
01:12:48Jared.
01:12:49Mom, it's me.
01:12:50What happened?
01:12:51Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:55Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:57You should get back with your wife.
01:12:59We're bankrupt.
01:13:01What?
01:13:05Jared Cooper.
01:13:06We're here to recompose your belongings.
01:13:12No one is going to save you now.
01:13:14What?
01:13:15What?
01:13:15No!
01:13:16No!
01:13:19What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:26Who will you pick?
01:13:26I brought you fried chicken?
01:13:36Fried chicken?
01:13:38Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right.
01:13:41I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:43Sucking up last minute!
01:13:45At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:48Hey!
01:13:48Stop!
01:13:49Stop!
01:13:51Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:13:54I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:57I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:14:00You know what I mean.
01:14:02Today, our heiress Bachelorette will choose.
01:14:05Which one of our three badasses will she marry?
01:14:09Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:13Cole, the general?
01:14:17Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:19Uh, looks like our Bachelorette may need to do a little more time to decide.
01:14:26Oh, the suspense is killing me!
01:14:30But when she does, she will take this eternal rose, made from glass imported from Venice,
01:14:35and give it to our winner.
01:14:38Angela.
01:14:41Angela!
01:14:42Oh, I, uh, I need more time to think.
01:14:49Uh, while our Bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:14:55why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:58Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:15:01Let's start with Cole.
01:15:03Cole.
01:15:07There's not much to say.
01:15:09Who wouldn't want a five-star general who has huge biceps,
01:15:13a massive chest, who would protect their wife.
01:15:20Okay, thank you.
01:15:22Uh, Shane?
01:15:26Muscles, money, they only get you so far.
01:15:30But you need a well-balanced man like me,
01:15:32that has more than one way to keep a lady happy, if you know what I mean.
01:15:36Okay, I think we do.
01:15:41And Devin.
01:15:44That was quite disgusting.
01:15:48I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:51I know she's going under a lot of stress right now, a lot of choices to make.
01:15:54And she's my queen.
01:15:57I just really hope she's okay.
01:16:00And then one more thing.
01:16:01What kind of a doctor brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:06That's a good point.
01:16:07It's bad for her heart.
01:16:10And then you, what?
01:16:12You know what they say about military men.
01:16:15They beat their wives.
01:16:21Enough!
01:16:21Hey, you guys.
01:16:29Whoa, break it up!
01:16:30Hey, break it up!
01:16:37Cut to commercial!
01:16:38Cut to commercial!
01:16:51This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:17:02Who do I choose?
01:17:11Angela's marrying me!
01:17:12You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:13Oh yeah?
01:17:16I may be a doctor, but like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:24What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:26Fruit flavored gum!
01:17:27I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:29I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:31Don't forget about me.
01:17:32It's time I'll reveal my true identity.
01:17:39These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:42They do not help.
01:17:43Who made these?
01:17:52It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:08I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:11And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:18:14We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:32This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:47I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:18:50Hmm.
01:18:51Winter Mint or Cool Mint?
01:18:58You know, I've always really liked your hair.
01:19:01Really?
01:19:03I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:06So I appreciate that.
01:19:10Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:10And you know, Cool.
01:19:11I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:20What do you got for me?
01:19:21I always really liked the way you chew gum.
01:19:25Yeah?
01:19:25Yeah.
01:19:25It's fresh, right?
01:19:26Yeah.
01:19:26It's fresh, right?
01:19:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:19:30You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:32Hey, I appreciate it.
01:19:33I'll take you out.
01:19:34Hey, you need me to look at you?
01:19:35I got you closer.
01:19:36Hey, me too.
01:19:36I'll take care of you.
01:19:37Yeah, cool.
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:40Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:42It was Sherry Cooper.
01:19:44That fucker!
01:19:45We have to find her.
01:19:46What the hell?
01:19:47Her ring.
01:19:48Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:19:52Well, let's go then!
01:19:52By the way!
01:19:54My fiance!
01:19:55My fiance!
01:19:55My fiance!
01:20:02Jared.
01:20:06What am I doing here?
01:20:08You destroyed me.
01:20:12They took everything.
01:20:14What?
01:20:15I have nothing left.
01:20:18It's not my fault.
01:20:18You're too greedy.
01:20:21Is it greedy to have sex with my wife?
01:20:24What?
01:20:25I'm not your wife anymore!
01:20:27Oh yeah, I know.
01:20:28You wouldn't take me back now.
01:20:29Not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:31This is illegal!
01:20:32You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:35You won't have me arrested.
01:20:37You will take me back.
01:20:38You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:20:59Hey!
01:21:01Antrimal!
01:21:01Come in!
01:21:05You're too late!
01:21:07I drugged her.
01:21:08She'll be dead soon unless...
01:21:09Not yet?
01:21:10Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:13He really does have everything in us, coach.
01:21:14Everything except for fruit.
01:21:16Yeah, except for fruit flavored gum.
01:21:17We get it already.
01:21:17Just save my boss!
01:21:21Here we go.
01:21:27You're all good now.
01:21:28Oh, thank God.
01:21:31But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33What?
01:21:33What are you going to do to me?
01:21:35Hey, stop!
01:21:36No, don't!
01:21:36Ah!
01:21:39Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:46Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:49Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:50So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:58You've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding?
01:22:02The Prince of Bhutan?
01:22:03And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:12Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:17Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:29The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:38But who's the group?
01:22:39Oh, it seems our era still hasn't decided.
01:22:47Any input from the parents?
01:22:49Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:52Oh, this is exciting.
01:22:55Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:58Let me think.
01:23:02I like the doctor.
01:23:04He's cute.
01:23:05But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:11And we can't forget about Devin Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:14Isn't that right, Devin?
01:23:17Angela.
01:23:17You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:23:29And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:33But this was a really hard decision and I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:42And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:47I'm just kidding.
01:23:51I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:57Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:24:01I mean bachelorette once.
01:24:03They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:06So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:09Literally.
01:24:12Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper,
01:24:17Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:23Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:30And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all?
01:24:38The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devin Sterling.
01:24:42Gentlemen.
01:24:46It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:49All right, guys.
01:24:50May the best man win.
01:24:52May the best man win.
01:24:55Drum roll, please.
01:24:56Drum roll, please.
01:25:10Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:11I choose...
01:25:20I need a powerful, strong man, and I really feel like you can protect me.
01:25:33Who could resist those guns?
01:25:40Do they interest you in an NF-D, Ellen?
01:25:42Do you like full body choco?
01:25:42Do you like full body choco?
01:25:46Do you like full body choco?
01:25:57Shane, it's you.
01:25:59I'm lovesick for you.
01:26:01You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:03Yeah.
01:26:06It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:08Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:10I hope we can do it together.
01:26:26It's always been you.
01:26:35I'll always love you.
01:26:38Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:44Would you like a full body choco?
01:26:45Have you seen my murderer weaponers?
01:26:46I need fruit flavored gum for you.
01:27:08Listen.
01:27:09You've just tested mine for you, isn't it?
01:27:10But itDP糖算.
01:27:12We're the chicken and we'll eat the palette from thestick.
01:27:14It's a very newmagic cat.
01:27:15It won't be the trick.
01:27:16Something is good.
01:27:16I don't know.
01:27:17You've got work done.
01:27:18Now, we'll go back to the side.
01:27:18I keep going.
01:27:19We're moving you onto a lot of glass ceiling, now.
01:27:26I come to the корп upset своft game.
01:27:28I'll use them.
01:27:29Put back over the 12-inch machine.
01:27:30I'll keep this looking at all oranges.
01:27:31I'll even call it that time.
01:27:32The�al line is over atoute anfensions.
01:27:33localzoneeds.
01:27:34I'll gotta be able to get one more Mirror bycomm.
01:27:36And I'll keep your också integration.
01:27:37Take thisами cara.
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