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Transcript
00:00I'm Dora Miller, the ice hockey team's assistant that no one cares about.
00:20I love this job, mostly because it keeps me close to Leo, my crush since childhood.
00:30Wait, did Leo really stop to help me?
00:53I always believed that one day Leo would see me more than an assistant.
00:56You just got pucked, Dora.
01:06But back then, I had no idea how dangerous dreams could be, and how badly people could
01:16get hurt.
01:17It all started when I got an early birthday present from my parents.
01:24Happy birthday to my dearest daughter.
01:32We love you so much.
01:34I totally forgot I was only one month away from turning 18.
01:37Get with Leo.
01:47Lose my big card.
01:50You followed Leo to college for nothing.
01:57You're going to die a virgin.
02:04If you want it, you're going to have to make it happen.
02:07Dora Miller, just tell Leo how you feel.
02:12Stop being such a pussy and go for it.
02:29Dora.
02:30Can it wait?
02:31I'm just a little busy.
02:36Leo, I have been in love with you for years.
02:40I think we would make a great team.
02:42I've been saving myself for you, and I want you to be the one to take my virginity next
02:47month before my 18th birthday.
02:50Oh my god, what did she just say?
03:00She's a virgin.
03:01L-M-A-O.
03:02How sweet.
03:07The pleading little virgin.
03:10Oh, don't let me stop you, Dora.
03:13What else do you have to say to Leo?
03:18Pretty.
03:20Hey.
03:21I don't realize you were on the toilet.
03:24That's funny.
03:25Something in the toilet made me think of you, and then I heard your needy voice.
03:30I can't believe you're still a virgin.
03:33Wait, I totally can.
03:38But I do love what you've done with your hair.
03:43I'll just...
03:44I'll leave you guys.
03:45Go.
03:46And this...
03:47It's interesting.
03:48Women have a choice for...
03:49They can be appealing, or they can be you.
03:54I like this cardigan.
03:55Mm-hmm.
03:56So would my great-great-great-grandmother.
04:01Leo's not.
04:02Leo's not.
04:03Leo's rich, poor.
04:04We're in your own.
04:05Repeat that to yourself when you go and cry into your own faith.
04:06I'm not.
04:07I'm not.
04:08You're not.
04:09It's alive.
04:10You're not.
04:11You're not.
04:12Leo's rich, poor.
04:13We're in your own.
04:14Repeat that to yourself when you go and cry into your own family.
04:15I can't.
04:16You're not.
04:17You're not.
04:22You're not.
04:24Leo's rich, poor.
04:26You're in your own.
04:28Repeat that to yourself when you go and cry
04:30into your greasy pillow.
04:32Maybe.
04:34Now you're placed nude.
04:36In the library,
04:38within your meals with the ovens.
04:48If you could just, uh,
04:50finish up with some tears from the holidays.
05:10What the hell?
05:12I'm not expecting money from anyone, especially this much.
05:14Did your towel just fall?
05:20What?
05:22I wanna sleep with you.
05:24I...
05:32Did your towel just fall?
05:36What? I wanna sleep with you.
05:42Oh, come on. It's not that bad.
05:44I just told Leo that I was in love with them,
05:46but Mindy was there.
05:48So now the whole school's gonna know that I'm-
05:50Virgin!
05:52Are you in there trying to slip on some guy in the shower?
05:54Come on, I know you're in there, Virgin.
05:56I can smell library dust and eyeglass cleaner.
06:00Oh.
06:14Oh.
06:15Troy.
06:16No virgins here.
06:18You sure already knew that, right?
06:22Goodbye, ex-boyfriend.
06:25Oh.
06:26Not so fast.
06:27You are the ignorer.
06:28I saved you.
06:29Now you won't.
06:30Big time.
06:31No way.
06:32Guys like you only want one thing.
06:33Such a hassle.
06:34Help passing math.
06:35Listen, I've got a really weird tech situation,
06:37and I know you're good with that kind of stuff,
06:38but it's gotta be kept real secret.
06:39If you got a virus from a porn site,
06:40that's your own problem.
06:41What?
06:42No.
06:43No.
06:44No.
06:45No.
06:46No.
06:47No.
06:48No.
06:49No.
06:50No.
06:51No.
06:52No.
06:53No.
06:54No.
06:55No.
06:56No.
06:57No.
06:58No.
06:59No.
07:00No.
07:01No.
07:02No.
07:03No.
07:04No.
07:05No.
07:06No.
07:07No.
07:08No.
07:09No.
07:10No.
07:11No.
07:12No.
07:13No.
07:14No.
07:15No.
07:16No.
07:17No.
07:18No.
07:19No.
07:20No.
07:21No.
07:22No.
07:23No.
07:24No.
07:25No.
07:26No.
07:27No.
07:28No.
07:29No.
07:30No.
07:31No.
07:32No.
07:33No.
07:34It's not just sex. I love Leo. I've been waiting for him.
07:44So do we have a deal?
07:46Okay, but I need to clear something up. Fifth base? I thought it was fourth.
07:52You got some work to do.
07:55You think I'm a joke?
07:58It's called teasing killer. Do you want Leor?
08:03So, teach me how to flirt and, you know, do things.
08:14I'm not going to teach you how to kiss, do you?
08:23I just want to know what Leo will expect.
08:27I'm not super familiar with this stuff.
08:33Alright. Maybe we should tackle it in order. List it for me.
08:40Flirting fashion technique.
08:42Okay, so you spent some time thinking about this.
08:45Alright. Flirting skills first and then boom. Fifth base.
08:50Sounds good. Just don't forget about fashion.
08:53And we need a deadline. How about the fundraising dance for the hockey team?
08:57You can make a big move there.
08:59It's only two weeks away.
09:01Calm down. You're not that hopeless.
09:03We can meet up tomorrow morning to discuss tactics.
09:06It's only two weeks away.
09:08Sounds good.
09:09My whole life is going to change.
09:12Go team.
09:13Oh, sorry.
09:15I'm going to try.
09:17Dora! Just the person I wanted to see.
09:19Oh, shit.
09:20I wanted to say that I'm sorry about yesterday.
09:34You did?
09:35Yeah.
09:36I was just feeling really insecure because I really like Leo.
09:42I shouldn't have reacted that way.
09:46Yeah.
09:47Okay.
09:48Thanks.
09:49Did you hear about the cake party that's happening tonight?
09:53You should totally come.
09:54All of us lost our V cards at cake parties, didn't we girls?
10:00Totally.
10:01Totally.
10:19What the hell, Dora? Do you even live here?
10:21It's so friggin' neat.
10:23I like things organized.
10:28What are you doing?
10:29Checking to see if your underwear's color-coded.
10:32You're probably a mass solution of a wee color.
10:39My underwear is none of your business.
10:43I mean, it kind of is.
10:47If you want my help landing Leo.
10:49Can I please stop talking about my underwear?
10:52Can I please stop talking about my underwear?
10:56Just what are you do-
10:57Will you-
11:01Will you-
11:02Will you-
11:06No.
11:07Will you-
11:09Will you-
11:10Will you-
11:12You have such incredible eyes to wear out.
11:13Will you-
11:14You have such incredible eyes, Dora.
11:20I never noticed how beautiful they are before.
11:26They're just eyes.
11:28I have two of them, like everyone else.
11:31Come on, Dora. I was flirting with you.
11:35This is why I need help.
11:40Why couldn't I see what you were doing?
11:41Just be open to signals.
11:45Don't be Dora the Ignorer.
11:48Can I bore you?
11:51Why would you care?
12:01Because you have such beautiful eyes.
12:10You're flirting again.
12:11Yeah, you're supposed to say something flirty back.
12:17Something flirty back.
12:22I know.
12:23I will practice on Leo at the party tonight.
12:27What do you think?
12:28Yeah, why not?
12:31But just remember, you've still got your training wheels on.
12:34Don't expect miracles.
12:35We'll need to have another flirting lesson.
12:37I'll grab us a drink.
12:54Just try to be cool.
12:58Dude, when am I not cold?
13:00Oh my god, there's Leo.
13:08You're worth a million of him, but you have no idea.
13:11Yeah.
13:12Good luck.
13:13I thought you were staring at me from over there.
13:28Was I?
13:32I'm sorry if I was weird yesterday.
13:34You don't got to say it.
13:37Mindy's a bitch.
13:39And you're awesome.
13:40I am.
13:42I am.
13:43I don't need to interrupt.
13:58School?
14:00Cool.
14:04Sorry if I was being weird yesterday.
14:07You don't got to say it's cool.
14:09Yes, she does.
14:16Doesn't she, Bruce?
14:19Whatever it is.
14:22And I think it is her vagina.
14:25It's like a vagina, only dryer.
14:29We call it Adora.
14:31What the hell do you think you're doing?
14:37You're doing nothing.
14:39She means you.
14:41Because you're nothing.
14:45Oh, I thought you were talking about how much lube you need.
14:49She buys an Inventi-sized tubes.
14:52How cute.
14:53But with how many guys you're seeing, it's probably up to Trenta, right?
14:58Oh.
14:59That's the microphone.
15:03Don't you dare laugh.
15:06It's about me all of a sudden.
15:07What do you see in her?
15:18Dora the boar?
15:21Does her bony body make your boner look bigger?
15:24She's great.
15:30It's as simple as that, isn't it?
15:34Do you know what it'll do for my reputation if your first girlfriend after me is some pathetic little needy virgin?
15:40Why does Dora being a virgin bother you so much?
15:46I think it's kind of sweet.
15:47This is just the start of your sexless ironing board.
15:57Oh.
15:58Get ready for the plan I have, specifically for you, in five minutes.
16:12Emotions.
16:13Emotions.
16:14Come on.
16:15I'll tell you something about it.
16:23Wait here.
16:24I'll grab you some drinks and some snacks.
16:35Leo, I have been in love with you for years.
16:37I think we'd make a great team.
16:39I've been saving myself for you, and I want you to be the one to take my virginity before my 18th birthday next month.
16:48Ouch!
16:48That's a real kick in the lady nuts.
16:52Could you be any more desperate?
16:56I don't know.
16:57Can you, Dora?
17:00Ready?
17:00Okay.
17:02Take my virginity.
17:03Take my virginity.
17:05Take my virginity!
17:07Take my virginity!
17:08Oh, oh, oh!
17:09Oh, oh, oh!
17:09I'm so just sick of that!
17:14Oh, oh, oh!
17:15Oh, oh!
17:18Oh, oh!
17:19Oh, oh, oh!
17:22Oh, oh!
17:23Oh, oh, oh!
17:25Oh, oh, oh!
17:27Please stop.
17:34Please let me go.
17:35Oh, oh, oh!
17:35Oh, oh, oh, oh!
17:36Oh!
17:37Oh, oh!
17:38Nia, where are you?
18:01Hope Leo doesn't see me like this.
18:12Mom, honey, you wanna go?
18:17Please.
18:19You can go.
18:21We just wanna hear you say it.
18:24One more time.
18:25Say take opportunity.
18:29Say it.
18:39That's enough!
18:49And you wonder why guys keep leaving you.
18:53I don't care what anyone says.
18:55When someone starts shit with me, I always finish it.
19:01You're wrong.
19:03I don't finish it.
19:05I'll get you, Tisha.
19:17I'll get you, Tisha.
19:27I'm sorry.
19:37I'm not usually a crier.
19:39You can't let Minnie get to you.
19:41Okay, you need to fight back.
19:43Like with a shark.
19:44You just need to punch her in the nose.
19:47I don't care if she loves me.
19:55I remind me of my little sister.
19:59She's a pitiful virgin loser, too.
20:03I mean, she's eight.
20:05I really hope so.
20:07Everybody, do you have an eight year old?
20:11Stop crying.
20:15It's all gonna be okay.
20:19It's easy for you to say.
20:23You have to do the hockey team.
20:27Everyone loves you.
20:29And I'm just...
20:33Nora.
20:35I happen to think you're pretty great.
20:41And, hey, that should count for some things.
20:47It's apparently so amazing.
20:49But you just said that at the party to mess with Mindy.
21:03I'm closing my eyes.
21:07Because I'm mad too.
21:09I'm lying to you.
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